Fresh from the bi guys’ forum, one of the directions that a thread went in was about straight guys who suck dick, which is usually enough to get most people rapidly blinking in confusion – but these guys almost immediately launched into a session of label hating. Some of the participants opined that straight guys who suck dick are more than likely bisexual but will insist that they’re straight anyway… and it is a constant reminder of our ability to justify anything that we do even to the point where if our actions don’t match up with our words, well, that’s fine. If “Greg” wants to spend some time sucking dick but maintain that he’s as straight as an arrow, that’s his right to do so.
I don’t deny that our hypothetical “Greg” has the right to see his actions in this in whatever way makes him feel comfortable but all this ongoing mindset does is to give some qualification to the biphobic assertion that bisexuals are in a constant state of denial. I sat and read stuff written by a gaggle of bisexual men who insisted that the bisexual label didn’t apply to them… and if that really makes sense to you, you’re more than welcome to head to the comments section and share with us why you believe it does make sense… and more so if you’re one of those folks who hold true to the notion that actions speak louder than words, that what one says isn’t as important as what one does.
Like the one guy who commented on something I wrote (on another topic) and said that he disagreed with my position that if two men are having sex with each other, it’s homosexual sex. He said it wasn’t… and I blinked on that one because, um, if “Greg” and “Dan” are sucking each other off or fucking or whatever else two guys can get into, I’m pretty sure this isn’t heterosexual sex. So when I sit and read a bunch of guys saying that, essentially, it’s okay for a straight guy to maintain the fact that he’s straight even though he admits to having a fondness for sucking cock, well, folks, I don’t know about you I think there’s something wrong here because last I heard, straight dudes don’t suck dick… but bisexual and gay guys do.
This isn’t to say that “Craig,” a dyed-in-the-wool heterosexual stud, can’t think about either sucking cock or convincing some willing dude to give him a blow job; most people wouldn’t say he’s guilty of anything other than having a filthy mind – except those folks who live in the “if you think about it, that means you’re gonna do it” camp. But, conventionally, “Craig” is still a straight dude… until he does something that says otherwise, oh, like hook up with “Greg” and the two of them spend an hour or two sucking each other off. Those of you who are in the “actions speak louder than words” camp might find this hypothetical situation agreeable. Now, it wouldn’t be unusual for “Craig” to, well, lie about having had oral sex with “Greg” if someone were to question him about it – image, after all, is still everything. But if “Craig” were to fess up and admit that, yeah, he occasionally gets with his good friend “Greg” and they get each other off (think bro-job, if that helps), is he still lying when he says he’s as straight (and a lover of pussy) as he’s always been?
Or is “Craig” really and seriously in some kind of denial and, because image is everything, he’s not of a mind to let go of his heterosexual labeling? Here’s some more conventional thinking: Even I will say that if “Craig” and/or “Greg” only sucked each other’s dick once, meh, they’re not bisexual – sometimes, shit really does just happen. If they go for it again – and other than being horny – one could legitimately say that a second time is a proof of concept – a confirmation that they did it once and found it to their liking. However, if these two hypothetical dudes keep on doing it, um, are they still straight? Conventional thinking says they aren’t and I’ve seen guys try to skirt convention by saying, “Well, I’m not bisexual because I don’t do it all of the time; me and him might get together and do this once or twice a month (or some other specified time period)!” I’ve seen them say that they’re still straight and simply because they’re still more attracted to women than to men; not saying that this isn’t true (because it usually is) but, ah, even I know you don’t have to be attracted to men as one would be with women to find a bit of cock sucking enjoyable.
Now we get to that part that, intelligently, tends to drive me a little cray-cray: People who, in this situation, insist that their words are speaking much louder than their actions. I am of a mind that despite what everyone thinks, thinking and doing aren’t the same things; it doesn’t always imply intent either because I can sit here and think about robbing a bank… doesn’t mean I’m going to, does it? So, um, if our boy “Craig” confesses that, okay, he occasionally likes to suck “Greg’s” dick but turns right around – and in the same breath – says that he’s still straight despite his confession, I dunno… do y’all think there’s something not quite right going on here? Which thing should be considered true – what “Craig” says or what he does?
Even better: If “Craig” were to, say, have ten people tell him that, no, bro, you ain’t exactly straight these days – but “Craig” insists that he is, how possible or probable is it that those ten people are wrong and “Craig” is as straight as he says even though him and “Greg” are bro-jobbing as needed?
If you think that this kinda/sorta defies logic, chances are good that you’re right. Conventional thinking says that a straight dude that sucks cock can’t be a straight dude… but there are quite a few people who seem to believe that conventional – and logical – thinking is wrong here. I’m a fairly smart guy and I have a hard time understanding how it’s possible for “Craig” to quack like a duck… but not be a duck… unless he’s managed to convince himself that he’s not a duck… even though he damn well knows he’s a duck.
I gotta go run some errands; y’all think about this while I’m gone and, please, add your twenty-two cents if you’re of a mind to. A long time friend of mine once said that you can lie to people as much as you want or need to – but there’s only so much lying you can do to yourself so let me know if you think “Craig” is lying to himself about being straight despite his cock sucking… or is he speaking a truth that no one else has uncovered yet? Does his words truly outweigh his actions?