Today on the bi guys forum, I read some stuff where a lot of guys were questioning their interest in dick by wondering if this was some kind of phase they were going through. It’s not that I haven’t heard this before but what I wondered – and I’m not sure if I’ve ever thought about this before today – is why is something like this called a phase? In one sense, it’s almost like it’s generally accepted that, at some point, a person is going to enter into this phase, spend x-amount of time in it, then move on, leaving the phase in their rear view mirror. If they do, well, whatever they did during this phase is excusable; if they bypass the phase, well, good for them… but if a person enters into this phase but never exits, it’s assumed there’s some kind of problem at hand and, I dunno, it’s as if a phase is somehow expected to last for an undetermined short period of time but only happens at a certain time.
It’s also generally accept that if a person is gonna go through a phase, it occurs before they’re legal adults – you know, kids behaving like kids and all that. But if a forty-year-old heterosexual finds themselves interested in things bisexual, is that really “going through a phase” and more so if this interest never manifested itself before? It’s not unusual for someone to “suddenly” find themselves interested in same-sex things nor is it unusual for this to surprise them and they ask, “Where the hell did that come from?”
A phase could be seen as an adjustment period, you know, like the child who’s interested in something one day then interested in something totally different a week later so this could just be a matter of “sorting” through things to find out what they will eventually settle down and do with their lives once they reach adulthood. And, yes, sexual experimentation is one of those accepted phases albeit one most parents would rather they not go through before they’re old enough to understand the consequences of their actions. Is it called a phase because adults aren’t expected to engage in sexual experimentation… even though it’s been known to happen? I mean, it’s not really all that unusual if an adult gets it into their head that they wanna try something they’ve never done before and for no other reason than to find out if it’s as much fun doing it as they’ve been thinking – but it’s also not all that unusual for an adult to say, “This is how I like to have sex and deviating from this serves me no good purpose.”
I dunno… maybe this thing in particular gets called a phase because “experienced” adults shouldn’t have a reason to ever change their minds about what crumbles their cookies? On the surface, sheesh, it almost doesn’t make sense to associate this with a behavior known to take place in much younger people… does it? Does this imply that our hypothetical forty-year-old should have gone through this phase earlier in life and now it’s finally catching up with them? Now, I recall reading something at some point where researchers say that this actually crosses people’s minds more than they’re aware of and, usually, when it does, most people don’t even pay much attention to it and if this is true – and they seem to think that it is – it’s probably not without reason that this could pop into their head… and it sticks and now they’re really paying attention to it. Oh, I know what some of you might be thinking – you’re thinking that you’ve never thought about this and don’t want to but, um, those same researchers say that if you say that you’d never do something like that, you actually did think about it even if only to denounce the thought.
This is of interest because I see a lot of guys asking about why they wanna play with a dick but not understanding why they do; by comparison, a lot of guys do know why they wanna roll like this and can point to a specific event in their lives that corroborates their desire. If a guy really takes the time to think this through, they usually will find what took place in their lives that made the thought of playing with a dick get stuck in their active thinking… but is it really a phase? Or is this just a facet of human behavior we’d rather not pay much attention to because this behavior violates The Rules? Yeah, I was just thinking that there was a time I would say that a guy doesn’t wake up one morning and say to himself, “It’s a good day to have sex with another guy!” but now I’m not so sure about that because you just don’t know what’s running around in the “dark” places of a person’s mind (aka the subconscious) that could be saying, “You know, you need to check this out… and here’s what I have in mind!” Guys have said that they’ve been quite happy with their sexual lives with women but, out of the blue, they have this hankering to do something with a dick and, apparently, without a reason that makes sense… but it kinda makes sense that if this popped into their head and got stuck, there must be a reason just like there must be a reason why this is suddenly a very compelling thing to investigate… and if there is one, it’ll take someone way smarter and qualified than I am to expose what’s really going on and if that’s even possible given how much we don’t know about what our brains are doing or why.
Like another thing mentioned along with phases: How does a guy who has never had sex with another guy know that he’s a bottom? Would this also be considered as a part of that phase… or is he merely projecting unrealized desires… and as a result of going through a phase? Yeah, this is starting to make me a little cray-cray as well… Or is this really just human nature asserting itself and when we never expect it to? A lot of our behavior is learned… but a lot of it is has also been “hard-coded” into us due to evolutionary process – it’s called genetic memory and that shit gets really and seriously deep.
Okay, I’ve given us all enough of a headache for one day but like a lot of stuff, this got into my head and I wanted to write something about it before it vanished…