After today’s visit to the forum, I once again saw what I think of as a recurring theme among some of the membership, namely, all the guys who spend more time being focused on why they can’t take the plunge but not so much time thinking of how to go about doing it. I see men who are chomping at the bit and ready to go for it, yet, they seem to spend a lot of time talking themselves out of doing something. Now, the married guys? Yeah, they’ve got a damned good reason for remaining on the bench but the guys who are unattached? They all voice a similar thing, i.e., they wanna (add something here) – but – and the reasons behind the but are eerily similar, from being afraid of catching something to being scared to death about stumbling into a relationship they don’t want to be involved in and the usual thing of not being able to find a guy they wanna do something with… but that’s because they don’t wanna go about trying to find that guy.
If you can convince yourself that something isn’t doable, chances are you’re not gonna be able to do it and while it is a very positive thing to see so many men willing to give voice to their desires for cock, the moldy blanket of negativity pervades the site because of the number of men who constantly and consistently talk about why they can’t do what they so very much want to do. Don’t get me wrong; I understand this and I’m not saying that their concerns are unwarranted but, um, if they’re still wondering why they haven’t had that first experience or haven’t been able to have an experience for what is to them a very long time, it’s because they’re holding themselves back and citing “problems” and situations that are, in fact, resolvable… if they could just stop talking themselves out of it.
Yes, it’s normal and actually makes sense to take a moment or two and think, “I want to suck a dick!” and then start thinking about all the shit that could go wrong but at what point should one’s thoughts gravitate to how they can get this done? Some want things to be picture perfect before they go for the gusto and, at least in my opinion, that’s unrealistic and more so when some of these guys admit that when they want pussy, eh, they’re not really thinking about what could possibly go wrong doing that. Some guys have managed to convince themselves that they will never find out what it’s like to get all sweaty and funky with another guy… and they’re the guys who don’t seem to really be trying to do that and keep talking themselves out of doing it.
The pitfalls do exist and as anyone who has ever had sex before should know, sometimes, shit just ain’t gonna happen the way you want or expect it to. Yes, those pitfalls do have to be acknowledged but if there are ways to avoid them, um, why not work on the ways to avoid them instead of assuming that you’re gonna fall into one as a matter of course? For some guys, this is a matter of them intelligently understanding what the deal is but their emotional negativity is overpowering and overriding their intelligence; the ones who are free to act as they want to keep coming up with things that guarantees that they’ll never get off the bench and remain stuck in a place that, by their own admissions, they do not want to be stuck in.
Sheesh… if you still think that women are funny about having sex, it’s because you haven’t been around some bisexual dudes. These guys say, “I want to suck a big dick so bad I can taste it!” but then say that they’re not fond of casual sex then tack on the need for a relationship before they suck that dick or slow their roll by not wanting a relationship. They want a sure thing in an environment where there’s no such animal as a sure thing and by making the need to have sex overly conditional, they’re just heaping more negativity onto themselves. See, there’s being careful… and then there’s going out of one’s way to ensure that the sex they so desperately crave will never happen. The more experience members will tell these guys – and rightfully so – that there comes a time when you just gotta get out there and do it in order to find out if you’ve done the right thing… or you haven’t. Even I’ve told them that sometimes you just gotta trust your gut instinct when it tells you that doing it with this guy would be fine and dandy but, I guess these guys would rather exhibit the very negative thing of not trusting themselves.
Once, I read where some guy talked at great length about how badly he wanted to suck another man’s dick… and turned right around and said he was sure he wouldn’t really like it and because he seemed to believe this, he hasn’t sucked a dick yet. So many members responded and asked him how he knew he wouldn’t really like it if he never tries to do it that I felt no need to echo the sentiment and, at least to me, the guy coming back and saying that he knows for a fact that he’s not gonna like it tells me that he convinced himself that he wouldn’t like it… despite the near overwhelming urge to do it.
You can sit, read, and watch these men invoking the power of negativity and literally talk themselves out of doing something and, again, invoking concerns that, if ya thought about it carefully enough, stand a very good chance of never appearing. You can see conditions being put into place that, on the surface, seem reasonable and common sense but upon closer examination, they’re barriers to doing what they want to do or, as noted, they’ve made sure that whatever sex they want to have will never happen because there won’t be a guy anywhere on the planet who could meet those conditions precisely and with zero margin of error.
And I ask myself, “What’s the point in wanting to do something if all you’re really gonna do is be negative about it? Why go out of your way to make this harder than it has to be?”