I was sitting here re-reading my scribbles on the bro job and something popped into my head about the moment a bro job is about to happen. It’s something I’ve heard from other guys as well as saying it to confirm that what’s about to happen will be handled discretely. Now, this phrase isn’t always about a prelude to sex but I’ve also heard it – and confirmed discretion – for guys who want to tell me without anyone else knowing that, um, they like dick in some way. Sometimes a bisexual’s greatest fear is being outed or otherwise ratted on for a “rules violation” – thinking about crossing the line or being on the verge of doing just that. No one really wants to be outed and more so if it’s not on their own terms… but, sure, guys who are perhaps minutes away from pulling the trigger with another guy just might ask this question or require you to say it as if taking an oath of silence, as it were.
Hmm, let’s see… you want to engage in oral sex with me and I don’t have anything against that… so it kinda makes sense that if I want to do this, not telling that it happened is warranted. I can’t imagine someone asking, “If I wanted to suck your cock, you’re not gonna tell anyone are you?” and the reply is, “Man, I’m gonna tell everybody I know!” Not saying that it’s not possible because, um, some dudes are bigger and worse gossips than women can be and nothing would make them happier than to get some drama going that’s gonna embarrass the shit out of someone.
And speaking of gossip, wow, I don’t know how many times the fellas have been hanging out and someone mentioned that this guy asked to have sex with him and he told him no fucking way (or so he says because, you know, we’ve been known to lie like rugs about that). So much for “I won’t tell if you won’t” huh? Some guys might get propositioned and, indeed, won’t mention it even if he turned down the proposition – this, too, can be embarrassing since people have a tendency to believe perception more than the actual truth so if “Larry” told someone that a guy offered him a blow job and he turned it down, the person he’s talking to will likely figure that “Larry” is lying and he let some dude give him some head… and probably returned the favor as well.
Growing up, this was very serious and damn near sacred; it was about trust issues among a bunch of guys who hadn’t yet learned what a trust issue was. I don’t recall how many times I’ve heard a guy say that he wants to have sex with me but the thing he’s worried about isn’t getting caught – it’s whether or not something is gonna be said to others. I’ve had guys blurt out, “I want you to do it to me!” and turn right around and say, “Forget I said that – you’re not gonna tell anybody I said that, are you?” First, ya can’t “unhear” that… but telling someone? I mean, sure, you’d be ratting them out but because it was said to you, uh, now ya might have others looking at you strangely even if you didn’t do anything.
With consideration to the bro job, “I won’t tell if you won’t” remains sacred and, really, it’s no one else’s business if straight guys “Bruce” and “Jake” found themselves in a situation where sucking each other’s cock was warranted, necessary, and even needed. Does it really sound that far-fetched that a guy can get into a bro job moment and the only condition is not telling anyone else that it happened? And, um, if the two guys keep their word and not tell anyone else that it happened, er, ah, doesn’t that kinda open up the possibility that it could happen again and especially if it was da bomb the first time?
Shit… I won’t tell if you won’t…