A while back, Oceanswater wrote a piece about twinks, usually (and generally) young males who could be bi or gay who sometimes wind up getting targeted by sexually aggressive and older men and not necessarily with the happy outcome some might expect. In response to the piece she wrote, I wrote my take on this situation but since the two of us wrote about this, I’ve kinda been paying attention to how porn, that ancient bugaboo and scourge of moral righteousness hammers its influence into those who partake of this, ah, visual debauchery. Now, this scribble isn’t about porn in and of itself; you either like it, tolerate it, or can’t stand it and none of these things change the fact that people from all walks of life do watch porn and for whatever reason works for them…
But what’s the message porn delivers to some folks? One of them is that if you’re young, the world of sex is very much wide open to you and only limited to your sensibilities and we see examples of this every time we watch commercials on television; only the young and hip people drive the sexiest cars, douse themselves with the sexiest colognes and perfumes and other beauty aids, have the perfect family and home. Only the young and extremely fit ever use high tech exercise equipment… but older folks need bladder leak protection, should buy certain types of life insurance, join AARP, consume dietary supplements as if their lives depend on them and should not only buy stock in Viagra or Cialis but take it religiously because you never know when one of those moments will be upon you, right?
You get the picture, don’t you? You do? Okay, let’s continue…
We know – or you sure as hell should know – that there’s a lot of age discrimination when it comes to sex, even in the world of M2M sex; you can be too young or too old and there’s no really clear defining line here since this tends to be a subjective thing rather than an objective one right along with the kinda obvious thing that there are young guys who prefer to be with much older men and those much older men preferring to be with someone who is, perhaps, younger than their own children or grandchildren – but old enough to legally consent to sex wherever they live. Ideally, guys who wanna throw down with other guys will work within a range of ages that’s in the neighborhood of their own and usually no more than five years in either direction and I say “ideally” because if you were to talk to bi guys about this, you’d see that on the whole, some guys are all over the place about how old or young a guy has to be before anything sexual can be considered and undertaken and I’ve seen some guys walk a very narrow path in this and will reject candidates who are a year younger or older than they are.
There are older men, say in the age range of 40 to 70, who will not engage with anyone under the age of thirty, guys in the 30 to 40 range who won’t engage with someone in their 20’s… but might have a hankering for men in their 50s and above as well as those men in the 50 to 70 range who prefer someone their own age or, gasp, one of those strapping, buff, young (and sometimes very naive) 20-somethings. A lot of those same 20-somethings will not, for love or money, drop their underwear for anyone who is as old as their father or grandfather so while as Oceanwater accurately wrote, there are a lot of these young, twinky guys who need to have that older man show them the ropes but it’s not one of those “universal” things – and it also must be noted that not all young guys are twinks as they’re portrayed – they’re all not seriously young, look like they need to go on a major food binge, and they’re all not pretty.
Porn, on the other hand, tends to focus on youth and vitality; as I seem to remember, I mentioned in the scribble I wrote about what Oceanswater wrote that while there’s porn that covers almost every age range and possible combination of young and old, you mostly see young and fit guys between the ages of 18 and 25 (and maybe, just maybe, as old as 30), all with really big dicks, having the time of their lives fucking each other silly. Let’s not talk about the fact that you can see this kind of sex with these young and fit studs and with varying degrees of aggression and displays of dominance and submission and while this kind of “rough sex” doesn’t appeal to every guy, there are guys who’ll see this and decide that this is the way they want to have sex either as an aggressive and dominant top or a “meek” and submissive bottom who always appears to be oh, so happy to being subjected to what others would think of as punishment of a sort.
Guys on the forum are always talking about seeing pics of guys who are young, extremely fit and bearing large cocks; some admit to watching the differing genres of gay porn and while some are into the younger/older “daddy” thing, many more engage in age discrimination and, perhaps, without realizing that they’re doing it. Some guys confess that they got with someone outside of their preferred age range and their before the fact thoughts were along the lines that if the other guy was “quite a bit” older, eh, they might not enjoy the sexual experience all that much – and sometimes they don’t and sometimes they cite the age difference as a reason why the sex they thought would be great turned out to be anything but. Guys between the ages of 30 and 40 seem to be of a mind that going with a guy who’s 28 is a bit of a problem, often citing maturity issues and degrees of being clingy that they find disturbing and such citations tend to make me roll my eyes because, apparently, these guys have forgotten that it wasn’t all that long ago that they used to be in their twenties.
A lot of guys will pass over older men, not so much because of the younger/older taboo but cite issues like ED as being a major deterrent and, I’d suppose, assuming that a guy in his 50’s is not only going to have ED but will require a major infusion of ED drugs to get it up; that might be the case or it may not but as with a lot of this stuff, it’s the perception that’s more damaging than the truth and many guys miss out on the sex they fervently want to have because they’d rather believe the perceptions (and other bullshit) rather than to discover the truth for themselves. I’ve heard guys say that they wouldn’t enjoy sex with a younger or older guy… but if you’ve never done it, how do you know you wouldn’t enjoy it? And I’m thinking that the answer lies in what porn tends to show us and that’s a lot of young studs sowing their very wild oats with each other and seemingly without a care in the world. Indeed, a lot of older men in the range of 40 to 70 feel the sting of this discrimination and many are of a mind that it’s not worth their time and effort to pursue guys from, say, 30 to 40 because, almost across the board, this demographic group is all about sticking with guys their own age and experience level, which is kinda interesting given that a lot of guys don’t hear and answer the call of cock until they’re in their late 30’s to early 40’s… so how much experience are they gonna have?
I see this subliminal but kinda in your face message: If you’re not young, fit, and generously endowed, well, M2M sex isn’t for you and the sad part is that you can see indications and see cases where guys who are frustrated over not being able to get themselves some dick are, in fact, buying into this bit of fabrication. Is it true that a lot of young men in their 20’s are jumping onto the M2M bandwagon? Of course it is… but is it true that only this specific demographic group is have the best sex possible? No, it isn’t – but it’s assumed and presumed to be the gospel truth. Cityman, a dude in his early forties, often tells me of all the young, 20-something guys who check him out and/or practically beg him to come over and do the living daylights out of them and while he’ll admit that when he sees pics of these guys and find them nice to look at, when I ask him if he’d sleep with one, he balks – and I don’t find that to be all that unusual because, “historically,” those young 20-somethings cannot possibly possess the levels of maturity, sexual prowess, and experience that, say, someone my age can possess. I know he’s gonna read this and think I’m picking on him (and he’d be right about that) but I’ve even talked with him and he’s mentioned that some late-60’s/early 70’s guy is interested in throwing it down with him and he thinks it’s cool that these older guys still have the desire to throw it down in some way… but when I ask him, “Why not go for it? Who knows – homey might teach you a few things!” he does what a lot of guys do: He balks, waffles, and tries to explain why getting naked with such an old guy wouldn’t be his idea of fun.
But if he never does it, how can he know it won’t be fun? If you believe the hype – and you should never, ever believe it – the only guys having mind-blowing sex are between the ages of 18 and 35; they’re the ones sucking cock like it’s illegal (and in some states it is regardless of age albeit unenforceable) and taking tree trunk sized dicks in their butts with unbelievable ease and as a matter of course. Perhaps it’s only my opinion but the age discrimination is clearly present and we just accept as fact that there are certain people within certain age groups who aren’t up to having sex in a meaningful way. On the forum and among the guys who say that they just can’t find someone to have sex with, one of the delimiters is age which kinda makes sense but can often be, again, like the blind leading the blind given that there are a lot of newbies and guys sitting on the bench who have zero M2M experience and expecting someone their age to be experienced or, in some cases, their lack of experience is a good thing and someone older who does have quite a bit of experience in these things is kinda scary.
Sex isn’t just for the young and fit and this is something that we – collectively – should know… but things like TV commercials and petabytes of profession and amateur porn keeps sending the message that sex is only for the young and fit and in the world of M2M, the bigger the dick, the better. Things like experience and overall mindset about sex often gets kicked to the curb and those things aren’t necessarily linked to age but, again, we should be aware of this but choose to not investigate the possibilities.