I would think that someone – anyone – seeing the title of this might think that being bisexual is about doing – you know, the sex thing? Some folks fret about being bisexual (like one guy I know whose name I’m not gonna mention but he’s the inspiration for this scribble); they do, in fact, worry about doing which may or may not be as easy as it may sound.
Being bisexual isn’t just about doing – it really is about being; how you carry or comport yourself and, basically, just being the person you are each and every day or like I said to the guy whose name I’m not mentioning, you go about being bisexual just like you go about being right-handed… or a doctor, librarian, or whatever it is you do each and every day. You’d think that this would be easy because, um, it’s what you do every day, what you’ve been doing all along with the only differences being a change in your sexual/sexuality perception.
Yes, if one finds themselves bisexual and doing has become a priority item, as mentioned, that can be problematic for some, not so much for others and depends on a plethora of things, situations, and conditions that may or may not come together at the right time, in the right place, and with the right person. People see/hear “bisexual” and all things same-sex pops into their head and it’s still my thought that the fact that we do more opposite sex things than same sex things just slips their minds – it’s that supposed “straight privilege” bullshit the biphobic bunch was talking about but is also the thing that makes a lot of folks nervous because, unlike some gay folks, you can’t look at a bisexual and tell that they’re bisexual… because we look and behave just like everyone else.
How and why some folks think we should behave any other way escapes me; with bi guys, I dunno, maybe they think that we’re supposed to act like those flamboyant gay men almost everyone knows about… but we’re not gay men, flamboyant or otherwise. Those of you who have been following my “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts” writings has seen me write hundreds of times that you could be standing next to – or with – a bisexual, having a conversation with them or whatever, and you’d have no idea that they were bisexual unless they told you. Why? Because being bisexual is mainly about – and kinda/sorta simply – being yourself, just like you’ve been doing all along.
Being bisexual doesn’t make you a different person; it’s just that your thoughts and maybe even actions about, ah, physical and/or emotional succor are different. Yes, for some folks, bisexuality is an awakening for them and can give them a different outlook on a great many things and might even put a spring in their step – a lot of bisexuals say that once they accept being bisexual, they really do feel more alive than ever before. You’d really have to be paying close attention to someone to notice something like this and, sorry to say, most people don’t pay that much attention to other people unless they have a reason to.
Otherwise a bisexual gets up in the morning, handles their morning business, and goes about their day like always; they work, go to school, volunteer at the senior center and all the other things that people do. It’s not so much a thing of being bisexual and not calling any attention to yourself – and I get that because when you realize you’re bisexual, it kinda makes you a bit paranoid; you kinda feel as if everyone knows you’re bisexual… even when you just found out yourself the other day (or whenever you did). But unless you tell someone that you are, um, how would they know?
There’s a reason why some bisexuals hear this: “You don’t look like the type!” What does the type look like? For men, it’s those flamboyant gay men and for women, it’s the “butch” looking chick who dresses like a man and affects male mannerisms. What does a bisexual look like? They look like everyone else and, again, other than how they get their boat rocked, they behave just like everyone else.
How can they behave in any other way than the one they’ve always behaved? And, again, why do people think they should behave differently… and even some bisexuals think they should somehow be different than they usually are.
While bisexuality can be a shock to one’s system upon discovery and this shock can affect them by making them introspective as they try to figure this out – and someone working this out in their head might look distracted or self-absorbed or maybe even a bit worried… and you can walk past a thousand people on the street and see the same outward expressions and provided someone is even displaying these things. Some bisexuals do stress themselves about doing – what do they want to do, how do they wanna do it, who can they do it with, and when can they get it done…
And even when this doing thing is bouncing around in their heads, unless you knew what they were thinking about, you’d never know that they were and, as such, even if you happened to see them behaving “differently,” how would you know why they are? You wouldn’t… because being bisexual doesn’t make one behave any differently from they way they normally do since we do have other things bouncing around in our heads other than having sex, oh, like, paying bills, meeting deadlines at work, getting the car fixed, eating, having a roof over their head – you know, every day things that everyone worries about.
So the answer to the question of how to be bisexual is, once again, rather simple: Just be yourself – how difficult is that? Just because some aspects of society might think that bisexuals should behave differently, bluntly, doesn’t mean shit; they’re entitled to their opinion but their opinion doesn’t really carry any weight – or it shouldn’t – and, then again, if they’re not bisexual, how would they know how a bisexual is supposed to behave?
Now. If the question is being asked in regard to sexual behavior, well, that is different… and I’d answer that question with this question: What do you wanna do if you could do something? The perception: Bisexuals do everything a gay person would do. The truth: Are you fucking kidding me? That’s not even one of those matter of fact things. Yes, some male bisexuals do everything two guys could possibly do together… that’s not all male bisexuals… but, then again, unless a guy told you what he was into, um, how would you know that “Bert” is a master cock sucker or he’s learned how to take two big, hard cocks in his ass at the same time? And let’s not forget that “Bert” very much likes women and pussy.
I’m thinking there’s no way to know this and you’re sure as hell not gonna be able to determine that just by watching “Bert” being “Bert…” unless, of course, you’ve been invited to watch “Bert” having sex with a guy and if “Bert” is like most bi guys, uh, he’s not very damned likely to issue such an invitation, since even for bisexuals, sex is still a very private thing that usually doesn’t get talked about except in general terms.
Being bisexual really means that if you see “Bert” – and even if you happen to know him – unless he told you he’s bisexual, there’s no way for anyone else to know that. Should “Bert,” upon discovering and accepting that he’s bisexual now run out and become a highly visible advocate for bisexuality and work toward becoming the president of the local LGBTQ(whatever) chapter? He could… and maybe he wouldn’t want to be bothered with that, not only because he’d probably prefer not to have his sexuality put on display in that fashion but because he has other things that require his attention each and every day and things that are a bit more important than how he might want to have sex later… and if he can have sex with anyone and in any way which isn’t a given.
Being bisexual just isn’t about doing “bisexual things” and more since there are a great many bisexuals who, for whatever reason don’t do anything ‘related’ to being bisexual – like engaging in same-sex activities. Either they don’t want to or they can’t but that’s not the point; the point is, again, how a person goes about being a bisexual is – and should be – pretty damned easy:
They just have to be themselves, just as they’ve been doing all along. Even if one knew our boy “Bert” was bisexual, how is he expected to behave? And if you knew this about him, what or how would you expect him to behave… and if you had some idea of this, would you care to share how you are aware of something that most bisexuals aren’t aware of? Maybe a lot of bisexuals are unsure of their ability to do those same sex-related things… but they do know how to be themselves.
And that, friends, followers, and readers, is the secret to being bisexual. Being able to do is that icing on the cake, the gravy on the potatoes – stuff like that. Whether one does anything about being bisexual or not, they still have to be themselves and in every way that means to them. Now… if you don’t know how to be yourself, I don’t know what to tell you except to ask you how is it possible for you to be as old as you may be and you don’t know how to be the person you’ve always been.
Being bisexual does make you different in what you think, feel and, yes, even in what you do and provided you can do… stuff. Having said that, you still have to be yourself, don’t you?
And, really, that shouldn’t be difficult at all, should it?