So you’ve gotten past your “Oh, shit!” moment and have realized that the only thing that’s really changed about yourself is your thoughts about sex and sexuality although, admittedly, there still may be some “issues” still running around between your ears. Perhaps you’ve decided that there’s nothing you can – or want to – do about this but maybe this has been on your mind enough and you’ve been thinking about what you’d like to do about this, you know, if you could.
Another of those “way back in the day” moments. When two guys decided they wanted to “do it to each other,” it was accepted that “it” was pretty much doing everything, from playing with each other’s dick, to sucking each other’s dick, to dicks going in each other’s butt or, at the very least, dicks going between butt cheeks… then repeat if necessary or possible.
I’d have to say that guys then didn’t have much in the way of preferences other than wanting to do it and it wasn’t like guys were in the habit of asking what one liked (or being asked); again, “doing it” was a package deal so if there was a question to be asked and answered, it was usually, “Where can we do this?” “What” was the whole nine yards; “why” was kinda self-evident; “when” was usually right this moment (but dependent upon the answer to “where”).
Experiences and time would eventually start to shake things out into “I like this” and “I don’t like that” which also included that, “Put it in my butt – but don’t stick it in too far” and the “I’ll suck your dick – but don’t shoot in my mouth” things that would crop up from time to time.
No Internet and the only form of porn were paperback books so if one was clever enough to swipe their father’s stash (or their mom’s stash), the only visualization of the sexual acts you were reading was whatever your mind could conjure up; other than word of mouth, there wasn’t much in the way of helpful information other than knowing what guys liked to do it and what guys didn’t or were too afraid to give it a shot.
There was almost always – and usually – that one moment when one boy would look at another boy and ask, “Have you ever done it with another boy?” If the answer was yes, the next question would usually be, “Do you wanna do it?” and if the answer was no, um, the same question would be asked – and the answer could still be no… but sometimes it could be, “I don’t know…”
One might not have had any specific preferences when it came to doing it outside of wanting to do it out of that combination of raging hormones and the thrill of doing something that we all knew we weren’t supposed to be doing.
Today, guys have the “advantage” of being able to determine and decide what things they’d want to do once they get past that “Oh, shit!” moment – and thanks to the wealth of information the Internet can make available as well as an understanding of what gay men do when they do it to each other – and deciding that doing just might be a good idea… but what to do?
And a lot of guys ask this question, believe it or not; it’s one thing to know what two guys could do to, for, and with each other, something else to figure out which of those things will turn out to be just what the doctor ordered. It’s one thing to know that guys suck each other’s dick, another to imagine one’s self doing it and the same goes for having anal sex and even jerking each other off.
Guys ask this question of me and I’ve answered their question with a question: What would you want to do? Some guys would ask this question and it’s a rhetorical one – they already know what they wanna do but the question is more of a… confirmation of sorts so a conversation about what can be done begins and at a basic level: Mutual masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, all of the above, any combination of those things which could also include kissing and cuddling (or not).
Guys today are able to sort out their preferences before they ever do it for the first time; they’ve already decided that they’re going to be a top (the guy in the male-dominant sexual role) or a bottom (the guy in the female-submissive sexual role) and, yeah, sometimes, a guy will start out wanting to be in both roles and as he feels in the moment.
What gets… amusing is that some guys do, in fact, have an idea of what they want to experience… but will still ask what it’s like to do it, oh, like sucking dick, for example. Now, you’d think this would be a no-brainer and more so for any guy who’d ever had his dick sucked by a woman and for some guys it is a no-brainer – just not for every guy. Having your cock sucked is one thing… being the one doing the sucking a whole different thing and, of course, there’s the whole matter of what to do when the guy cums – swallow it, wear it, avoid it at all costs and by any means necessary.
Guys are well-versed about fucking coochie and you’d think that there wouldn’t be much of a disconnect about sticking their dick in a guy’s ass – and more so if they’d ever had anal sex with a women – but, again, there’s this perceived difference but the main thing about this is a sense of revulsion because, well, we know what that orifice’s main purpose is, don’t we? On the receiving end of the high hard one, again, we see that knowing that guys get boned as being one thing… wholly different when you’re the one with the hankering to get boned because the other thing we know, even via word of mouth, is that, um, it can hurt going in.
True enough, some guys prepare themselves for this moment by using toys, from butt plugs to dildos to prostate stimulators and while this is all well and good, most guys find that while using toys can get them used to being penetrated, having the real thing in their butt is rather different; it’s one thing to do this to yourself, another when you’re not really in control of that moment and there’s a very horny guy on the other end of the dick that’s about to meet your acquaintance.
So we see that when it comes to deciding what to do, there are choices… but choices that aren’t always easy to make because along with all the things two guys can do, there’s also a laundry list of reasons why guys shouldn’t do any of them. One major one is, “What if someone finds out I (add an M2M thing here)?” Yes, there’s the whole “What if I catch something?” thing to consider but it’s nothing a case of condoms can’t take care of.
Guys find that it’s easy to sit back and think about all of this but to get to the point where one does those things they’ve been pondering just might provide some added “stress” to the list of things to stress about in this, up to and including wondering, even here in the 21st century, if doing whatever they’re thinking about is going to make them gay.
Yeah, guys back in the 1960s were worried about this, too, so that hasn’t changed a whole lot. Sometimes I think that guys looking and/or waiting for their first experience tends to suffer from an informational overload – just too much information to process but it is important for a guy to process all of that information and to the best of their ability because one thing they may discover is that the best thing for them to do is…
Nothing. Certainly, there are a lot of reasons for a guy not to give into the great urge to get out there and do something about what they’re thinking and feeling but it just doesn’t pay to dive in there without thinking things through and beginning with being able to imagine themselves all up into whatever they wanted to experience.
Which is a kind of lead-in to the next thing I’ll scribble about – and you’ll know it when you see it…