Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Balls of Blue

16 Mar

The pain was incredible and appeared out of nowhere; one moment, my friend and I were talking about what kind of mischief we could get into on this fine, summer day… and the next, wow, jeez, this really hurts – why is it hurting down there?

My friend looks at me, alarm on his face and he can see the pained and confused look on my face and starts asking me what’s wrong; this… whatever it is, hurts so much I can’t talk – it’s taking every ounce of my will to keep breathing and not start trying. He asked me where it hurt and, unable to speak, grab my crotch – gently because, as I just found out, moving makes it hurt even more.

“Oh, okay,” he says before yanking down my shorts and underwear, getting on his knees, and sucking my dick into his mouth. The pain was getting worse but, wait, is it easing up some? I’m standing there with my friend blowing me as if my life depended on it… and it sure as hell felt like it. It started to feel good, slowly but surely replacing the indescribable pain in my groin; I could breathe again, still couldn’t form words outside of my mind and just as I felt my body relaxing, one last sharp spike of pain hit me, only to be quickly replaced by that really good but weird feeling of shooting my stuff.

The pain was gone. For a moment, I wondered if it had even been real as my friend stood up, licking his lips and smiling as if he’d just done something miraculous and I supposed that he did.

“You had blue balls,” he said, reaching down and cupping my balls. “You feeling better now?”

“Yeah,” I said with a puzzled look on my face. I know what my balls are but given my complexion, uh, how can they turn blue?

“Good. You just needed to shoot some stuff,” he said wisely – and wisely for a guy who was only a month older than I was. “Hmm… my balls kinda hurt now…”

I was more than happy to make his balls stop hurting – and if they were really hurting – like he made mine stop hurting and he seemed to be just as grateful as I had been.

Blue balls. The one thing that can happen to a guy that feels as bad – or worse – than getting whacked in the nuts. Kinda in my defense, I’d heard older guys talking about blue balls and how they seemed to turn blue if they wanted to get some nookie but that didn’t happen. I remembered how all the guys who knew about this would grimace and, yeah, just like they all got kicked in the nads – then start laughing about it. My first experience with this… condition, when it hit me, totally disconnected things in my head – acute pain will do that fairly easily. Now, I can say that I didn’t feel like I needed to do the nasty before that incredible pain landed on me like a freight train but what my friend did – an early version of a bro job – was what the “doctor” ordered.

I investigated this blue balls thing; think of it as “backed up pipes” for simplicity’s sake and the reason they call it blue balls is because when this… backup of blood happens to white guys, wow, their balls really turn an interesting blue color.

Who knew? Later, I learned that one can relieve a case of blue balls – and one that usually happens when one gets sexually excited and, um, nothing happens – by jerking off to clean the pipes out (and if you’re wondering how that plumbing phrase made into the sexual lexicon) but since that was supposed to make you go blind and grow hair on the palms of your hand, well, okay – if you were hanging out with a male friend and a case of blue balls was upon you, for immediate and welcome relief – and if you can – ask the guy with you if he would help you.

Now, um, sometimes, if you did ask him for help and he wasn’t of a mind to assist you, he’d just look at you with sympathy and pretty much tell you that you’re on your own and good luck with that. But, yeah, sometimes the guy you’re with has had some experience with blue balls, knows how painful it is and it’s just an act of mercy to get you somewhere private and give you an “emergency blow job” to ease your pain… and more so if he knows that you’d do the same for him, you know, being good friends and all that.

Wasn’t a big deal, didn’t mean you were gay or anything like that but among friends, just an act of kindness and mercy… and provided ya didn’t tell anyone how you got rid of your case of blue balls. Now, if you were hanging out with him again and managed to have another painful attack of blue balls, maybe he helps, maybe he doesn’t and that all depends on how he felt about helping you that first time and, um, how you may have shown your gratitude for his timely aid when you, er, um, made sure that he wouldn’t come down with a badly aching pair of balls.

I don’t think I could really put a number to the times I’d come to a guy’s aid when his balls were blue but, sure, I wouldn’t let a guy suffer with this even if we weren’t really friends. I was at the YMCA one day, fresh out of the pool after doing a mile of laps (25 laps, if you’re wondering) when a guy who was either getting undressed for something – or getting redressed – suddenly doubled over, groaning in pain and holding his nuts as if some invisible person had just hauled off and punted his balls. I knew immediately what was wrong; homey was sweating profusely, his face flushed a really odd red-purple color and of course I asked him if he as okay even though I knew, from experience, what was wrong with him.

His eyes were wild-looking; sweat was pouring down his face like he was in the shower and his whole body was shaking from the painful intensity. There wasn’t anyone else in the locker room so I went over to him and took a peek in his underwear and, sure enough, his balls were a pretty shade of blue.

“I can fix that,” I said gently as I pulled his underwear down and slurped his cock into my mouth and as he vainly tried to ask me, I think, what the hell was I doing. After a few and well-placed and time deep sucks, he unloaded in my mouth and like his pipes had been clogged up for a month – boy, did he ever put a lot of sperm in my mouth and so much I almost couldn’t keep up with it!

I looked up at him as his dick was slowing some really intense pumping; his color was better, he wasn’t sweating as much and, as I released him, I took a peek at his nuts and they were back to being a healthy, pinkish color. I stood up and pulled his underwear back up – and just in time as some guys were coming into the locker room. The guy I had “rescued” was still kinda shaky, looking a bit dazed as he followed me back to where my locker was and whispered both his thanks as well as his… consternation over how he got relieved of a major case of blue balls because, hey, he wasn’t that kind of guy.

I just looked at him and in a way that asked him, “Would you have rather kept dealing with that pain?” I guess he interpreted my look precisely, looked a bit sheepish, and said, “Thanks, man – I owe you one!” before going back to his locker.

Just one of many examples of how some bro-jobs happen. You feel that ache beginning and I don’t know which is worse – having a bad case of blue balls or having a toothache and while you can’t always get some seriously and immediate pain relief from a toothache, to make a case of very painful blue balls go away, you need to bust a nut and the sooner, the better. If you’re alone, it’s time to choke the daylights out of the chicken; if you have a your lady nearby – and if she’s willing to help you – screw her or, if she’s of a mind to, get her to blow you if, you know, she even cares that you’re experiencing that kind of excruciating, mind-numbing pain.

If you’re with your bro and you think the two of you are really good friends, sure, you can whip it out in front of him (and provided you’re not in some public place, of course), apologize for giving him something he can’t un-see, and get yourself off… or you can brave asking him to get you off since there are times when this comes on so suddenly and painfully you can’t help yourself. If he’s that good of a friend, maybe he helps you out… or leaves you to suffer with it but, still, it’s one of those situations where a bro-job is called for and one that, if you were previously not of a mind to be sucking some dude’s dick, you’d sure as hell make an exception if he came to your aid and played with your dick so you could cum and get those pipes cleared out.

Sometimes, just saying, “Thanks, man – ya saved my ass!” ain’t good enough or doesn’t really express your profound gratitude. I’ve aided in blue ball relief and have told the other guy that his thanks is thanks enough and no reciprocation is needed or required… which hasn’t stopped some guys from wanting to express their gratitude in a similar way… and, a few times, it would be their first experience with sucking cock either way.

Because you’d do anything to make your nuts stop hurting. I’ve seen and heard of guys curling up in the fetal position and crying like babies; I’ve seen this pain hit guys so hard and fast, they sometimes vomit or they drop as if poleaxed, their legs just refusing to hold them up and now it’s decision time: Do you do the one thing you know will ease his horrific pain… or do you just stand there and watch him suffer and when you probably know what he’s feeling?

At the very least, you offer some relief and if he accepts it, fine but if he doesn’t, well, hmm, okay – at least I offered and maybe the next time you have this happen and we’re together, you might reconsider… provided you make it through the terrible pain this time.

Sometimes, a bro-job isn’t about just being horny and wanting to take care of that immediately if not sooner; sometimes, it is an act of kindness and mercy if you do, in fact, know what that feels like; it really does, at times, become a question of, “What would you do to help a friend in dire need of release?”

From the “guys can be hilarious” department, I’ve been hanging out with a guy and have heard him change the subject of whatever we were talking about by saying, “Damn… my nuts are starting to hurt!” In my mind, that’s code for, “You know, if you were to give me a blow job, I’d be okay with that.” Depending on the guy – and if his nuts are really hurting and with severity (and sometimes, his balls are just fine, as it turns out) – I’d at least think about offering a bro-job if I determine his case of blue balls is valid but if he’s just being clumsy about wanting me to suck his dick, sure, I’ll stand or sit there and watch him fake an extreme case of blue balls because if nothing else, it’ll be entertaining.

I even told a guy once, after a stellar performance, “I’ll send you an Oscar later… but if you wanted me to suck you off, why didn’t you just ask?”

“You might have said no,” he replied, looking all cheesy.

“I might have said yes,” I said.

“Um, would you?” he asked.

And I did… because his Oscar winning performance was really pretty good if I might say so myself and had to be rewarded. I also found out that he was pretty good at sucking dick, too, something I hadn’t known about him before his award-winning acting.

“Next time, just ask,” I said after we drained each other dry. He at least had the good sense to look embarrassed after trying to bullshit me and failing.

Even if you’re an avid cock sucker like I am, you don’t just jump in there and do something about the other guy’s painful predicament; you have to do some triage and assess the situation, take the guy having this insane pain into consideration and determine if easing his pain is worth him finding out something about you that, under ordinary circumstance, you’d rather not let a whole lot of people know.

But how far would you go to help a friend who’s clearly suffering from a major attack of blue balls? Will it fix itself? Eh, sometimes it does but even in my blue ball moments, fuck – that pain just keeps getting worse the longer you let it go unattended. To my “shame” and perhaps “dishonor,” I have sat or stood and watched guys suffer with this and it doesn’t feel good to do this when I know I can help him manually or orally… but I also know that helping him would create an even bigger problem than his poor nuts being all painfully swollen. We’re friends… just not that close as friends, sorry about that – hope you get that taken care of soon.

A bro-job can happen due to being seriously horny; under extreme emotional distress and duress, and even when one is under the influence of whatever hair of the dog that bit them… but sometimes, they can happen because the pain of blue balls is just too much to deal with and waiting any longer than you want to in order to make that pain go away just ain’t gonna work.

What would you do?

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Posted by on 16 March 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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