Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The “Theory” of Bisexuality

17 Jun

For a lot of people, bisexuality is an intellectual exercise and one that, when you look at it for exactly what it is, it makes sense and it stands to reason that “everyone” isn’t going to feel that boy/girl attraction and as it’s been mandated by religion and enforced by social contracts… and it makes even more sense, at an intellectual level since, um, there are bisexuals among us even if you can’t “see” them.

But, like all theories, this is one of those, “Yeah, but…” things that sees people, on the one hand, agreeing that bisexuality is, indeed, a real thing while forming thoughts and opinions on why it shouldn’t be and, often, using and referring to outdated information as well as putting their own spin on the matter, like the school of thought that bisexuality is just a “rest stop” on the way to full homosexuality.

It can be since, you know, everyone at some point has to make a decision about what sexual path they’re going to travel and one can intelligently understand that this must be true because we do not live on a planet where everyone is heterosexual. We intelligently understand that attraction has two meanings; it’s literal definition and how an individual interprets this as it applies to them.

When you ask someone, hypothetically, of course, if it is possible for men and women to be attracted in the same direction, they will almost always give you a “Yeah, but…” kind of answer. Yeah, it’s possible but it’s not supposed to work like that; there’s no reason why men and women can’t and shouldn’t stick with opposite sex attraction and, more often than not, you will hear a lot of other things that are part continuing dogma and part personal, i.e., “I wouldn’t so some shit like that.”

Today, we see a lot of stuff that attempts to dictate what bisexuality should look like, for instance, if you’re not willing and able to have a committed same sex relationship, you can’t possibly be bisexual even though, intelligently, we know that there are billions of people who just aren’t interested in having a relationship, either because it’s not in their plans to get tied down with someone or they’ve failed so much in this area that they’ve pretty much given up on the whole dating/relationship game.

You can dig around on the Internet and find a lot of stuff written about why bisexuality exists (and why it supposedly doesn’t) and of the things I’ve read over the years, I’ve not seen much said about the fact that our evolution as a species has a lot to do with it, although you can read a lot of things about bisexuality in the animal kingdom – the famous or infamous bonobo monkeys – and even when presented with these facts of nature, many of us will still say, “Yeah, but…” and the “but” is that they’re animals and they don’t know any better.

While dismissing the fact that we’re animals, too; we’re just the ones who have evolved to higher levels of thinking and behavior and, intelligently, we know and understand that we are primates… and those bonobo monkeys are hanging out on the same tree that we are, you know, with them being primates as well.

So while we can, for the most part, agree in theory that bisexuality in humans is at least ‘possible’ we seem to be spending a lot of time trying to poke holes in the theory and failing to prove that it really doesn’t exist, we keep trying to insist that it shouldn’t… but, okay, since it’s not going away, this is how things should go and applying the one thing we do know:

Heteronormativity. It is the gold standard of human behavior and to the point where even homosexuals, those radical non-conformists, tend to follow. In theory, it should be possible for people to be bisexual and in the exact same way people are heterosexual and, indeed, theoretically speaking, it should be possible…

Many of us are of a mind that it shouldn’t be. Intellectually, we know that human are not only very sexual creatures, we lead the league in sexual creativity – we’ve found more ways to have sex than you can shake a stick at. Ask someone if this isn’t just theory but a matter of fact and they just might say, “Yeah, but…” because, in theory, we’re supposed to be way beyond such primal behavior.

The fact of the matter is that we aren’t and we never have been despite the rules, edicts, and social programming that’s not only designed to put a stop to this normal and natural behavior but to focus it in a singular direction and then only to be enacted under certain and strict conditions.

We have, in fact, proven that the theory of bisexuality is real; it has long since gone from being a “what if” kind of thing because to prove a theory, well, you need proof of concept and humans have been providing that proof at every point in our existence as a species; not only can we be same-sex attracted, we can be attracted to both sexes. But to many, this remains within the realm of theory and because, I think, we don’t want to face the fact that some of us quack like the ducks we’re not supposed to be quacking like.

Fact. Not theory. Not some behavioral aberration when you look it exactly for what it is and without any injection or application of, “It’s not supposed to be like that.” And I’d say that, in theory and in-line with social programming, it’s not supposed to be… doesn’t and never will change the fact that this is what we’ve been doing all along. A lot of us just cannot accept the facts of the matter at hand and is yet another example of that saying that goes, “Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it…” and we have a long history of not learning from history and, in this case, the history of the biological animal known as homo sapiens.

Humans. Us. One of the most sexual creatures to ever have appeared on our big blue marble and one with the incredible brain power to not only imagine damn near anything but to make those things very damned real. In theory, if you don’t want people behaving in certain ways, you impose rules and stuff to curtail, prohibit, suppress or otherwise prevent those behaviors from manifesting themselves. The proof of concept says, nope, that shit ain’t working and it’s never worked. The theories of prevention were enacted and enabled toward the eradication of homosexual behavior and if you’ve been reading/following me, you know why.

Those theories failed, as did all of their preventative measures. Every last one of them. Even as we accept, today, that people can be homosexual, we still insist on saying, “Yeah, but…” and one has to wonder why we keep doing this. To that end, the way things are supposed to be is theory… and the way things really are and have been proven over time to be true leaves theory in the dust. If it is true that people can be homosexual, it stands to reason that people can be bisexual if it suits their purpose in life to be bisexual.

We just insist that it shouldn’t be. As a kind of salve for our sensibilities, there are many of us who insist that sexuality isn’t a choice; for as long as I can remember, homosexuals fervently insisted that they had no choice in this and choice doesn’t play into things – they were born this way and, to that end, they were right but it’s my contention that, um, maybe some folks don’t understand how choice is kinda unavoidable or, as I was told a long time ago, you can’t do anything about the way you feel… but you can do something about how you act on those feelings and that, my friends, is choice: You choose to do… or do not. Follow your feelings or don’t follow them. But, yeah, we’re born with the potential to be straight, bi, or gay and as our feelings dictate – or as things in our lives can work out; social programming would prefer that we not choose to act on any feelings other than those associated with heterosexuality – theoretically. And our predecessors understood this (and feared it) and the proof is that they mandated that we shouldn’t be anything but heterosexual.

Bisexuality – and just as homosexuality did – trashes that theory and, well, that doesn’t make us all that comfortable, does it, and to the point where we reject any theories behind bisexuality and insist that it isn’t what it is and that it shouldn’t be and, importantly, continue to not accept the evidence that this theoretical behavior ain’t theory – and hasn’t been.

We want the theory of bisexuality being a stepping stone to full homosexuality to be true and, sorry, it isn’t. In theory, it appears that we want bisexuality, you know, if it really does exist, to be displayed in true heteronormative form where sex is concerned, i.e., the only “legal” and allowable sex is relationship sex. In the United States alone, there are laws on the books that make certain sexual acts illegal, like anal and oral sex and in some states, it’s even illegal for married couples to indulge in such things so, in theory, if the law says you can’t do this shit, you’re not going to do it.

The reality says something very different and the fucked up part, my friends, is that we know this – it’s just one of those “Yeah, but…” things that serves to keep this aspect of human sexuality within the realm of theory instead of accept that this is no theory.

How do I know that we know this? Because we’re insisting that it ain’t what it is and that it’s something other than what it is and that it doesn’t and shouldn’t exist because, in theory, the prevailing mindset and schools of thoughts says it shouldn’t. Otherwise, what are we fussing about and at global levels? Why did the Sultan of Brunei go public and say that anyone who isn’t straight will be put to death? Safe to say he didn’t do/say this because he didn’t have anything better to do that day, huh?

And why did he, a few days later, do some serious backpedaling after the word of his decree when public and viral? I’m thinking it’s because bisexuality – as well as homosexuality – is a very real thing and a thing to be feared so, nope, it’s not theory since, uh, wouldn’t it be quite cray-cray to have a law that’s against something that, in theory, doesn’t and shouldn’t exist?

The prevailing theory says no one should want or need to be bisexual… yet people are and for whatever reason works for them so that theory has been debunked big time. We – collectively – want it not to be true but, again, if it’s deemed to not be true, why does it appear that we really are trying to mold bisexuality into the heterosexual framework?

I’m thinking it’s because it’s not theoretical, not a figment of our amazing imaginations and that we’re really not as insane as we appear to be. Fact, not fiction. Not theoretical but a proven behavior humans can adopt if it fits their wants and needs. Theoretically, I guess it makes sense that if people are gonna go both ways (and because we can’t stop anyone from going both ways), then the methods proven to work for heterosexuality should be applied… but that theory is flawed, isn’t it, because if we’ve learned nothing, humans are experts in saying, “Fuck the rules; I’m gonna do shit the way I want and need to do it!” and if that means taking the rules of heteronormative behavior – relationship sex only – and dumping them in the closest trash can, that’s what’s gonna happen.

In theory, we shouldn’t be throwing away the rules that govern our sexual behavior. The thing that totally debunks this theory is that, um, a lot of us are damned happy to fill up a lot of trash cans. In theory, this shouldn’t be something that makes us struggle or make it horribly difficult to be involved in and the truth – the proof of concept – is another “Yeah, but…” moment. Yeah, it should be easy to be bisexual… but it isn’t, and because I think we make this harder than it has to be.

In theory, we have the God-given right to self-determination – we can go to hell in our own handbasket if we want to and be the person we want and need to be… as long as you play by the rules that, for the most part, says you can’t and that you shouldn’t, oh, let’s say, be physically and emotionally attracted to both men and women. In theory, love has no boundaries… except the ones we put in place and as long as love is being displayed and acted upon in a true and expected – and mandated – boy/girl fashion.

We’ve proven that, nah, that ain’t the only way and that boy/girl works just as well as boy/boy, girl/girl, and another other combination our highly evolved brains can conceive. In theory, it’s not supposed to be and can’t work…

The reality says it is and it does.

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Posted by on 17 June 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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