Sometimes, my brain just runs off the rails and as evidenced by my late night TBT about pre-cock sucking (and pussy eating) thoughts… and even as I wrote it, I was thinking, “You sound like a crazy person – you know that, don’t you?”
Yeah, I knew it… and I still did it and had fun scribbling it. While it’s all right and proper for me to have my thoughts kinda/sorta organized before scribbling, eh, sometimes I don’t but that’s cool – this blog is about what’s in my head and there’s no telling what’s gonna pop outta there and, um, what it’s gonna sound like when it does.
I had been thinking about sex and across the spectrum – from that general high level to the more “personal” aspects; I was thinking about the “Then and Now” post as well as the one WordPress made go away that was about being bi and married – including just being married – and how it’s the worst situation to be in once you find that you need something your partner can’t – or won’t – let you have.
I was thinking about the guys on the forum and all the sex-related things they come up with and my mind got locked on oral sex and, at that point, went flying off the rails over that moment before mouth meets genitals but, as I went on to explain, it was more of an exercise in self-awareness because in any of this, for me, it’s not enough to know what people do but why they do them – what are they thinking and/or feeling? Are they even aware of what’s going on with themselves?
Overthinking shit? Probably… but it’s all about understanding yourself and those you might become engaged with. While I was “losing my mind” writing last night’s scribble, I thought about all the many times I’ve had a guy go down on me when, before the fact, he said that was something he didn’t think he could do. Not that big of a deal for me – either you can or you can’t and I’m not gonna get bent out of shape if you can’t.
Next thing I know, the guy is going down on me and like his life depended on it and, yeah, I put a note in my mind to ask him later what he was thinking about or feeling that changed his mind. Hell, I’ve often wondered what made me change my mind when I’d do something I normally wouldn’t do, didn’t want to do, didn’t feel like it… and there I am, doing the “unthinkable” just the same.
Ditto with a woman who had never gone down on a guy. She made it clear that she never did it, wasn’t ever gonna do it… then she did it and, sure, I wanted to know why. Likewise with women who aren’t fans of guys going down on them or they’ve never been eaten; don’t like it, of a mind that someone’s mouth only belongs on those lips that are on your face, or having that done is just plain nasty… and, okay… but why “all of a sudden” did they say, “Eat me!”
I dunno… but I wanted to find out.