Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Spank That Monkey!

06 Oct

While banishing the spammers from Tumblr, the first thing I see is a montage of guys beating their meat and busting nuts while staring into the camera and, I’d suppose, giving today’s technology, watching themselves getting their rocks off – the new version of standing in front of a mirror and doing it.

First thought: Guys doing what most guys love doing.

Second thought: Some guys aren’t fans of masturbation – they usually say, “That’s what women are for!” Or maybe some other dude is supposed to do for them.

Third thought: That’s a lot of wasted sperm…

Fourth thought: Why are only young and hung guys being shown pleasuring themselves?

I’m watching the montage and just looking at the expressions on the guys’ faces; they’re trying to look cool as the fiercely manhandle their cocks, well, until they reach that moment of no return and they cum… and it’s funny that some of the guys are trying to look cool when their body is suggesting the stop try to be cool and give into the feelings. One guy was looking cool one second – then looked like he was… surprised when the spunk started flowing…. and he gave up on trying to look cool pretty quick.

One of the hot topics on the forum is jerking off – who still does it, how often it’s done and even asking if spanking the monkey is a poor substitute for having sex – and the answers are all quite varied as you might expect but, um, do you really need a reason to wrap your hand around your cock and make yourself cum… and other than just because you can?

It’s usually the first sexual experience we have and it’s been discovers that children in the womb appear to be masturbating before they’re born. I grew up being told to never do it – hairy palms and blindness were possible consequences but, um, it never stopped me and I’m fairly certain that many other guys were more than willing to deal with going blind or having to shave the palms of their hands.

Why? Because if feels good to do it – what other reason is needed?

You could, if you were of a mind to, get someone else to jerk you off… and it’s good but not quite the same as doing it yourself because you know better than anyone how to work your meat in just the right way to produce that toe-curling, ugly face making result. Then it’s all about cleaning up the mess or, if you’re in a relationship, getting rid of the evidence: Some women feel some kind of way knowing that their man is getting himself off.

Women know we do it but, yeah, sometimes feel that we shouldn’t… but aren’t always of a mind to literally lend us a hand so we’re left to our own devices. I get that for some women, it’s a thankless chore and, indeed, a lot of guys confess that sometimes, jerking off seems to be a waste of time.

You do it because that blue balls thing you hear about is very real and very painful but, eh, relieving the pressure isn’t always satisfying – but at least you’re not feeling like someone hauled off and drop-kicked you in the crotch.

For many men, it’s their only sexual outlet and I’ve heard of guys saying that they’re addicted to masturbation. Some guys do it once in a while while some say they do it several times a day and all week long… and even if they’re getting laid.

Why? That shit just feels good – do ya really need or expect a different answer?

For shits and giggles, try explaining this to a woman or, really, anyone who isn’t a true fan of getting themselves off… and watch the look they get. Hell’s bells… I even wound up telling someone once that it’s my dick and I don’t need a reason – or permission – to play with it until I cum – duh.

And sometimes, it’s not about busting a nut – it just feels good to be hard and throbbing and feeling the heat of it in your hand. These days, a lot of guys are into edging – delaying ejaculation for as long as possible and I guess this is a good thing, could be a bad one – I don’t know because when I do it, um, it’s for the expected result and if it literally comes early or later, doesn’t much matter to me as long as it happens.

Guys being guys, there’s some… interest in how much spunk one delivers when choking the chicken. Realistically, it’s either gonna be a lot or a little bit that’s not really an indication that the pump is broken… and I think too many guys watch a lot of porn where the guy pulls out (or whatever), yanks his crank, and there’s an unbelievable amount of semen flying into the air and landing… somewhere…. and I guess some guys get dismayed because they can’t shoot like a porn star… and some guys are kinda worried because they can bring huge loads.

I’m obviously a guy and I don’t pretend to really understand this one but, okay, some guys do, some guys don’t.

Another big topic: What do you fantasize about when you jerk off? And, nope, I’m not even surprised over what bi guys fantasize about and, no, don’t even think about asking me what’s going on inside my head when I do it, not because I’m ashamed or,anything like that – there just not a whole lot of words I can use to write about although I will say that a lot of times, I’m not thinking about anything other than what I’m feeling bit let it suffice to say that the inside of my mind in these moments is way beyond any X-rating that can be applied. Some guys create fantasies in their minds but I have a wealth of sexual experiences I can recall from storage to serve that purpose.

A lot of guys get their start by literally playing with another guy’s cock and for many bi guys, it’s the only way they express their bisexuality and pretty much the safest way. Some guys admit that they can’t manhandle another dude’s dick and resist the urge to put said dick into their mouth but that’s just something I’d say is pretty normal. Indeed, I know a lot of guys who say they’d jerk you off but not suck you… and then wind up doing the one thing they promised themselves they’d never do and, frankly, I can’t say that I blame them for breaking that promise because it somehow makes sense to go from stroking a dick to sucking it.

Then there are the guys who, for whatever reason, refuse to pleasure themselves. I heard some of the reasons why they don’t and won’t and while I wouldn’t necessarily agree with their reasoning, it is their reasoning after all. In my way of thinking, some guys are… Neanderthals in their mindset – that “That’s what women are for!” mentality and I’d guess that’s all well as good… as long as you can get a woman to have sex with you and that’s not always a given – it makes me wonder how they handle not getting laid and/or having their balls aching.

Is there anything erotic about watching a guy beat his meat? I suppose there is – we’re always and strangely interested in how we do it and looking for tips and tricks to make spanking the monkey better and more exciting, like the guy in the forum who was asking about whether or not using a TEMS device would produce better orgasms and releases if the electrodes were attached to his dick.

Yeah, right – okay, have fun with that one. Still, there’s a fascination with watching a guy doing something that you’ve done to yourself an untold number of times that I’m unable to explain – it just is what it is. I do it, other guys do it, nothing unusual going on, right? Doesn’t really explain the erotic beauty of watching a hard dick being stroked and it’s not your cock you’re looking at but, you betcha, we do like watching ourselves pulling our own puds and the only explanation I can offer is that it’s just erotic to look – we are some very sexually visual creatures even if we’re just watching ourselves going through the process of making ourselves bust a nut.

Why do it? Why not do it? It’s probably the one healthy thing a guy can do for and by himself since it’s been proven that masturbation is good for a healthy prostate.

That and that shit just feels good.


Posted by on 6 October 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , , ,

4 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Spank That Monkey!

  1. LarryArcher

    6 October 2019 at 20:28

    If your hand goes to sleep on you, then you know that you’re not that impressive of a lover! The good thing about jerking off is that you hopefully never get rejected and if you want some strange stuff, try your left hand.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LarryArcher

    6 October 2019 at 20:31

    Forgot to mention, if you’re upset about Tumblr becoming G-rated, check out as it’s an uncensored combination of Tumblr and Facebook! It has some rough edges but a lot of porn!


    • kdaddy23

      6 October 2019 at 20:38

      Yeah, their new policy ain’t working as expected – just as R and XXX rated as ever.



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