Saw an older post on the forum where the OP asked if guys who are bi when they get older are really bi (or something to that effect) and the comments were… interesting.
Many of the comments were from older guys around my age and in sexless marriages but one guy emphatically suggested that older dudes stop blaming women for their predilection for cock which, I guess, has some merit except that it always seems to be a “logical progression” for guys in sexless marriage to want to play with a dick. That responder suggested that the reality is being made celibate by a woman who is not all that interested in sex is just an excuse to do something they’ve probably always wanted to do.
The question popped into my head, “Well, what about all the guys who discover this when they’re older, not married or still married, and still getting pussy?”
Another responder offered that as men get older, their testosterone levels drop but their estrogen levels increase and I said to myself, “Hmm…” because from what I understand, our sex drive is tied to how much testosterone we have (and are supposed to have) and guys suffering from Low T report that their desire to have sex has gone out the window along with other complaints.
An increase in estrogen might “feminize” our features but as a reason why older guys “suddenly” want to play with dick? Not sure that’s what’s really going on.
It surprises guys and especially those who’ve never entertained a single thought about this. Maybe it surprises guys who “fooled around” back in their day, got away from it, only to have it revisit them out of nowhere but, as one responder said, he had sucked a dick in his youth… but when he did it at his current age, all it did was confirm what he always thought: That he was bisexual.
Not everyone feels the pull in this direction. Some feel it and manage to ignore it while, duh, others feel it at some point in their life and feel compelled to investigate. Some guys are perplexed because, okay, they did it when they were younger and, I dunno, figured that they got it out of their system and that was that… then find themselves dealing with the great urge to play with a dick.
Age, such as it is, doesn’t appear to be much of a determining factor, does it? I often talk about triggering events that can be responsible and, yeah, sometimes, a woman is involved in the triggering process but the reality is that anything can be a trigger from being stressed, emotionally distressed and depressed, to somehow coming to the conclusion that, um, I’ve done everything a man could do with a woman and doing them with a guy is next on the list.
One responder offered that older guys turn to dick because they know they’re running out of time and as if sucking a dick/being fucked is a bucket list item. Maybe it is for some older guys but I don’t think this is a general frame of mind or even that “Oh, shit…” moment you have when you get to be around sixty or so. But, if so, it’s also a triggering event to do something that, prior to being triggered into action, they never really thought about doing and whether there was some other need to do so or not.
Even my protege, when we first met, was perplexed by this even though, after further review, he did admit to being what I’d call a tiny bit curious, that and he could point to specific events in his youth where something could have happened between himself and another guy but it didn’t. So when he asked me how this happens to guys – and to guys who are “normally” pussy-centric, my first response was, “It just happens but no one really understands why…” – and then I went through the list of things I’ve seen first-hand that will make a “pussy-only” guy “suddenly” come to the conclusion or otherwise decide that having carnal knowledge of another guy’s prick just makes good sense…
Despite that thing that lives inside us that says it doesn’t make sense at all.
Everyone who is late to the party has a story to tell about how they got to this point, from girl problems to even admitting that they’ve felt this way for the longest time and they’re just now getting around to doing something about it if they can. What’s clear to me is that some guys can point to a specific thing, a moment or event, in their lives and, okay, cool – but what continues to mystify me and others are those guys who really do wake up one morning and think, “Today would be a good day to suck a dick!” – then they’re wondering why they want to.
I can’t explain it and I’m not really sure if anyone can. I just know that it happens and it doesn’t make much of a difference how old you are when this lands on you although, admittedly and thanks to the Internet, we see there are a lot of guys my age (and older) who are partaking of the dick for the first time in their lives.
Or, like one guy I talked to who said, “Why not? Everyone else is checking it out!” when I asked him what possessed him to want to give this a try. It begs the question of whether or not this is some biological process that’s just now waking up or if it’s really some weird sense of logic going on but, sure, as mentioned in my scribble about nature versus nurture, there are environmental things happening that makes, say, wanting to suck a guy’s dick just seem logical and sensible.
I know a lot of men and women who have said they’d never do anything like this… and then they do… and they’re wondering what happened and, to be honest, I wanna know, too, because this is one aspect of bisexuality that just defies explanation but, yep, it still happens and thanks to greater visibility, we’re learning that it’s not as uncommon as we might think.
There are those who suggest that our propensity and drive to have sex just pushes us in this direction and maybe that’s true but, again, how do you prove it? Some of us jumped onto the wagon before the onset of puberty, you know, when all those hormones wake up and turns us into sex fiends and experimenting with dick, again, just makes sense. Why? How? Damned if I know.
I supposed that due to a previous lack of visibility, being older and discovering bisexuality seems to be a glaring incongruity and it has guys asking, “Why now and why not any time before now?” You could say that everything happens when it’s supposed to happen but that’s kinda… vague but when you really can’t explain something, this one usually works… but still doesn’t really explain things or answer the many questions that pop up relative to this.
And who really knows how shit in our heads really works? I’ve heard a lot of people ask, “Why does this just make sense?” and, again, damned if I know but something is going on in that lump of grey matter that comes to the conclusion – and by some unknown means – that checking out the other side of sex really does make sense.
Or, as a lot of people have told me, “Sounded like a good idea at the time…” You can safely say that if a guy (or even a gal) had this on their mind at any point in their life and in that “I wonder what it would be like?” way, sure, that might lend itself to wanting to answer that question. Likewise, for those who dabbled early on and are coming back to it, sure – makes sense since they’ve done it before.
Does not even come close to those folks for which those two conditions didn’t exist for them, does it? I just don’t agree with any theory that getting older is a catalyst in and of itself since, again, I know you can be of any age and this can bumrush you out of nowhere.
It just happens to some folks and I know this because I’ve been around long enough to see it happen. Believe it or not, for a lot of guys, going this route is, indeed, an option… but of the “last resort” kind. For these men, a lot of things has to happen in a specific way and at a specific time before they’d even think about taking this option. They could if they had to but if they don’t have to, okay, that works… right up to the moment when whatever conditions they’ve set come into play and does that weird think of confusing the shit out of them while making perfectly good sense.
And maybe, just maybe, once gets to be a certain age and gets to understand that whatever they knew about sex really doesn’t make sense when it comes to excluding playing with a dick (or a coochie if you’re an older gal). Now, what age might that be? Realistically, it can be any age – you really don’t have to be “old” to wise up to certain things and as evidenced by the many 20-somethings who are up to their eyeballs in it… and because it makes sense to be all up in it.
A lot of years ago, I read this question: “What price do you put on your sexual satisfaction?” It made me realize that we do put a price tag on it and in the form of what we’re not gonna do in that pursuit of orgasmic bliss. Then someone “decides” that having too high a price tag on it not only doesn’t make sense but defeats the purpose of having sex because, you know, that shit just feels good. Is it logic… or something else we can’t qualify or quantify? Biology or one’s social environment?
Don’t know. Again, I know it happens; I’ve heard what those who have come over to the bi side has said and I have some understanding of some things that can trigger someone’s “inner bisexual.” Can’t point to any one specific or definitive thing. Overthinking the whole thing? Perhaps but it’s a question a lot of men and women ask and, yeah, it requires a whole lot of thought and so much that the best advice you can give someone who’s trying to figure out why they have an urge to play with a dick (or a pussy) is for them to just accept it… because there’s no singular way to really explain it and more so when we all don’t arrive at this place for the exact same reasons… and if there’s even a reason one can point to… and sometimes, there isn’t one or one that could be said to make “real sense.”
There are those who’d frown at a 70-year-old guy who has just now discovered how much fun it can be to play with a dick and those frowners would berate him for wanting to do something that has been forbidden all this time. Maybe we accept his reasoning behind making this decision (and “all late and wrong”) and maybe we don’t because those of us who’d never have a reason to go there can’t understand why someone very much wants to go there. And if you were to ask this guy about it, maybe he can find the words to explain it… and maybe he can’t. In this, we make a lot of fuss about what’s being done… but why continues to escape us or isn’t worth all of the time and effort it takes to dig deep and try to figure out why this happens to some late – and later – in life.
Even I tend to boil it down to as simple a thing as my brain can make it: It happens and it’s always happened and it’ll keep on happening and without any one thing that can be singled out. At this very moment, there’s a 64-year-old man or woman who has been bitten by the bisexual bug, just like there’s someone 16 or even younger who’s been bitten.
Age just doesn’t make a difference in this.