Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Double Standard

07 Dec

Summer, 1981. We were finally moving into a new place, a dual apartment building complex that were “the projects” only because the housing authority ran it. It had been a long, harrowing day. I was tired, hurting, the wife was tired, hurting and the kids were tired and even crankier than they were when we started the move, making both of us cranky.

I was bringing up the last boxes of stuff and thinking that moving was only the beginning – all that stuff now had to be put in place, I had to put the kids’ beds back together as well as our own although, as tired as I was, just putting the mattress on the floor would have worked.

As I entered the building a movement caught my eye and it took my eyes a second or so to adjust to the darkened entranceway and when they did, there was a woman, on her knees, and blowing some guy who was leaning against the wall. I didn’t really stop but I did slow down so I could see what was moving.

The guy against the wall was thrusting into the woman’s mouth; she had two hands full of his bare butt cheek and slamming her face into his crotch in time with his thrusts. He moaned and shuddered and even my tired mind said, “He’s busting a nut…” Now I am standing still because I don’t want to startle either person but just as I started to move again, the woman withdrew, the guy’s limp cock fell out of her mouth, and they both turned to look at me.

The dude gave me the standard greeting – the reverse nod – stuffed his cock into his pants and, get this, asked me if I needed help with the boxes I was holding. I shook my head no but the woman got to her feet – wow, she was a really big girl – and she nodded and said, “You wanna be next? I’m still hungry.”

“No, thanks – I just didn’t want to scare y’all and some shit jump off,” I said and climbed to our new third floor apartment. I told my wife what had taken me so long and all she said was, “We live in the projects now – put those boxes over there.”

In our first week there, I learned that the woman giving head – and the guy receiving it – both lived in the complex – her on the first floor and right by the cubby she was, um, working in that first night and he lived in the second building. One of the neighbors was telling me about the woman on the first floor; she wasn’t selling herself but she had an incredible appetite for dick and that, being new there, I was probably the only guy whose dick she hadn’t sucked.

No one seemed to be appalled that she had been blowing this guy in plain sight of anyone who came into the building.

The following week, word spread like a wildfire through the complex. Apparently, one of the girls who lived in the complex got busted in the other building’s basement, assuming the position while some dude was banging the shit out of her. Apparently, he must’ve been giving her the dick real good because it was her, um, vocalizing that got them busted in the act and her mom was livid…

But the other tenants didn’t seem to be shocked by this and one woman said, “It happens – she just got caught, that’s all – and it ain’t the first time she got caught.” She went on to tell me that this same girl got caught I’m the same basement locked in a 69 with another girl. Rumor had it that whoever caught them excused themselves and walked away and no one knew if she got ratted out to her mom.

The woman telling me this said – and in a kinda bored way – “A lot of pussies get eaten around here and in any dark corner that can be found…” and like it was no big deal and maybe it wasn’t because she also said, “You stay here long enough, you just get used to shit happening.”

Maybe a month later, the complex’s rumor mill got cranked up again and alarmingly so. It seems that, I the basement of the building I lived in, two male complex dwellers were just busted in the act, caught in a 69 and, I guess, having a dick-sucking good time before whoever busted them showed up. Everyone was speculating whether the two young men were gonna get their asses beat down for this and, indeed, many of the residents were up in arms about these two guys getting caught blowing each other in the basement’s dank darkness.

“But no one is upset about those two girls or girlfriend on the first floor?” I had asked one of the guys standing there listening to what sounded like a lynch mob being formed,

“Nah, not really,” he said, his face an angry mask. “Those motherfucking faggots need their asses kicked and maybe their families should be kicked outta here! I got half a mind to report them to the housing authority!”

No one got lynched or beaten to death – well, not that I heard. Two days later, the girl who got busted being fucked and eating pussy got busted again sucking one dude’s dick while the other was fucking her… and a third dude was waiting for his turn.

And no one, again, was bent out of shape except maybe her mom.

Girlfriend do the first floor? Saw her a few times I’m that dark corner sucking cock and once with a couple of dudes waiting. I was concerned big time, thinking about my kids coming in and getting an eyeful of this woman feeding her hunger for cock. Mentioned it to one of the fellas and he said, “Nah – when she rolls like that, she makes sure it’s late at night.”

Like it was no big deal. So I asked him, “When everyone was talking about those two boys who got busted, everyone was losing their minds… but this other shit is going on like all off the time… and y’all act like it ain’t nothing worry or be concerned about. What’s up with that?”

He shrugged and said, “Two dudes doing it is just fucked up and wrong!”

“And you don’t find it wrong that girlfriend over there might as well have a revolving door installed with all the dudes going in and out of there and getting done in plain sight at night?”

“Nope,” he said. “It is what it is, home skillet.”

“But two those boys ain’t in the same category?” I asked.

“Definitely not!” he exclaimed and went on to tell me what he would have done if he was the one who caught the boys in the act.

I’m no prude, then or now, but I was beyond shocked at the attitude and more so when I had it on good authority that a lot of the men in both buildings were getting their fair share of dick, you know, seeing as how we all kinda hung out together.

Various… incidents hit the rumor mill from time to time, like homegirl on the first floor now adding eating pussy to her list of favorite things to eat. And no one found a thing unusual about it. The young girl giving up the pussy to “everyone?” Got busted a few times and wound up pregnant – and the rumor was she didn’t know who knocked her up. Those two boys? Got busted again dicking each other down and the reaction was like nothing I’d seen before and some of the adults were talking about forming a posse, going over to “where those faggots lived,” and reading any adult they found the riot act.

But what no one was talking about was the amount of sex – and some of it same-sex – that was going on and, yeah, I wanted to know why.

The guy I asked looked at me like I’d just gotta off the boat and said, “We don’t get caught doing it – that’s the difference!”

“Yet, everyone in the complex knows who is fucking who…” I said, trying to get my head around this disconnect and double standard of behavior. “You lost your mind about those two boys fucking… but, um, weren’t we blowing each other just a couple of days ago?”

“That was different,” he said. “Nobody saw us doing it.”

“They knew it, didn’t they? Didn’t I hear whatshisname ask you if I had a nice dick and if I was any good?”

“Yeah – you know he wants to check you out for himself, right?” he asked.

“And, um, don’t we both know what our wives are doing with each other?” I asked.

“Yeah – that shit if fucking hot, ain’t it?”

“I don’t get it – we both know what’s going on around here – not that I’m complaining, mind you – but I don’t see how any of that is different.”

“I keep telling you, man – those faggots got caught in the act!” he said and with a bit of heat in his voice.

“But none of the fellas who are getting some dick are faggots, right?” I asked even though I knew what his answer was gonna be.

“Hell no!”

Okay. I let it drop after that conversation and tried to wrap my head around the whole mess and particularly how a bunch of dudes who almost routinely sucked each other off and damned near on a daily basis could be ready to kick those younger guys’ asses for doing the same thing. Or no one batted an eye at the number of women who were just as routinely going down on each other and fucking someone else’s man.

And no one said “boo” to the big girl with the very major oral fixation but I figured out why no one was taking her to task for her public displays because a lot of the complex’s residents availed themselves of her skill sets and no one wanted to hassle this “golden goose” who was doing it for free.

But the double standard at work would often come back to poke me in the ribs. Those two boys didn’t get caught again that I knew of… but I found it damned peculiar and quite hypocritical to listen to men I knew for a fact were sucking dick and taking in the ass berating – and sometimes, voicing “threats” toward those boys who were doing what they were doing, getting caught in the act or not. Everyone knew those guys were lovers and were always ready to tar and feather them… but everyone knew what guys were all up in it – but that was okay?

The pussy-eating women in the complex were revered as goddesses and there wasn’t a guy in the building who didn’t know what women were very good in bed, could suck a mean dick as well as which women didn’t mind taking it in the ass.

I didn’t understand it and here, decades later, I still don’t understand it. We moved out of the complex sometime after my brother died in 1985 – I think it was the summer of 1986 or close enough for government work. Our ship had finally come in and we were on our way to moving on up. But I’ve never forgotten living there, the things we experienced there… and that maddening double standard I can’t make any sense of.

The only people doing something heinous were the two guys who were lovers, well, until both families moved out in 1983, if I remember correctly. And even after they were gone, they were still talking about those two “motherfucking faggots” that lived in the other building. One guy was ranting and raving about it… just before he started sucking my dick. Didn’t make sense then, doesn’t make any sense today and despite everything I’ve learned going forward.

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Posted by on 7 December 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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