Oh, I do so very much love those folks who will say that they’d never do anything “gay” and more so when that’s what winds up happening to them, sometimes by “accident” – think ‘blame it on the alcohol’ and being in the right/wrong place at the right/wrong time and with the right person – and sometimes things take a major turn in their lives like emotional trauma, high levels of stress and, often, a very major reduction in their ability to get and have sex.
I’ve heard people say, “I wouldn’t even think about doing some shit like that!” and I’ve pointed out to them that, uh, hmm – if you thought about not doing it, you’ve thought about it; that one tends to have them getting a really funny look on their face and, really, if there is someone who hasn’t wondered what it would be like, I haven’t met them. Some studies have shown that even those folks who really wouldn’t go there do, in fact, have the thought cross their minds and some studies suggest that if, consciously, such a thing isn’t on their mind, there’s no telling what’s going on in their subconscious which could be entertaining the thought.
I know too many people who have either changed their minds about this or had it changed; I have heard way too many people say that having sex like that wasn’t as bad as they thought it was and some have wondered why they never had sex like this before the moment they did. I’ve even sat and had a good, silent laugh listening to folks trying to downplay what they experienced and as if they didn’t really like it or it wasn’t all that which, of course, doesn’t change the fact that they did it and no matter how it turned out.
Some who change their mind might do it once… and do it again because, you know, that first time could have been a fluke since shit does happen. Some do it once… and never do it again and I’ve heard a lot of reasons why a repeat won’t be happening again or, at best, any time soon.
If there is one constant in this, it’s never saying never and, you betcha, a lot of the people I know who have said this are often surprised that they did it and even more surprised to find out that it didn’t instantly kill them and, as a lot of guys worry about, didn’t turn them into a seriously effeminate gay man. I think that because this is said to be a very bad thing to do, it’s automatically assumed that it’s unlikeable or, as I heard a guy say one day, “I’d let a dude suck my dick… but I know I wouldn’t like it!”
Um, really? I usually have some fun by asking, “How do you know you wouldn’t like it?” and the usual reaction is, “I just know I wouldn’t!” – and followed by my saying, “Okay… but how do you know?” Enter in the “Adam and Steve” thing, the “it’s a sin” thing and one of my favorites: “I’d never be that desperate for sex to do some shit like that!”
Yet, ah, some people do, in fact, get that desperate for sex, don’t they? For a lot of folks, masturbation doesn’t produce that toe-curling release that’s wanted and needed but someone going down on them just might curl their toes and sure – going down on someone really gets the juices flowing and all that. Many are just of a mind that the right and proper venue is boy/girl, well, until they find out that this is only one way.
And I’ve seen folks be… bent out of shape to find that they’ve given into the one thing they said they’d never do; that’s usually the moment where I’ll tell them they shouldn’t feel bad about it – a lot of people give into that kind of moment and, sometimes, for no “real” reason one can point to or as some folks have said, “I don’t know why I did that…”
Even “funnier” are those folks who will adamantly say that doing some “gay” shit is the last thing on their list of things to do… while perhaps overlooking the fact that it’s on their list of things to do. For many, it’s a measure of last resort and only to be thought of or enacted when all other avenues for sexual release have failed. But very few people ever think that there might come a time when that measure of last resort will arrive and that, realistically, it can show up at any time and, of course, our dear friend, Mr. Murphy, just sits around and waits to shake someone up and make the last thing they’d ever do the next thing for them to do.
I’ve sat and listened to men and women list the conditions under which such a thing might happen and I’ve always found it interesting that they can do this… when they’ve said it’s something they never thought about or even wanted to do. I have laughed myself silly listening to dudes saying that if some dude ever approached them like that, why, they’d shove their dick down the offender’s throat so deep and hard that they’ll regret ever mentioning it to them.
Are you laughing over this one? This is some real-deal shit, too, and it’s always made me wonder why some guys would say this – while vigorously speaking out against such sexual acts, like this one tough guy who said that if some faggot stepped to him and wanted to suck his dick, he’d beat the guy down… then fuck him in the ass… to teach him a lesson.
Uh, right – okay, homie – I hear ya. This one is no joke: One guy said that he wouldn’t do some shit like that even if somebody put a gun to his head and said do it or die… then another guy present pulled out a gun, stuck it to the guy’s head and said, “Okay… whatcha gonna do now?”
Guess what homey did and other than piss himself? Even funnier? It was a toy gun. It was a very scary thing to watch happen and the guy who, at “gunpoint” wound up sucking a dick wasn’t happy about having such a joke played on him but that’s just another lesson about being careful what you say to some people. And, yeah – I knew the gun was a toy and found the whole thing funny.
The thing I understand is that a lot of people do know that stuff like this happens – they just don’t think it could happen to them, that’s there no reason for them to engage in such a thing – it’s nasty, immoral, they’re gonna burn in hell, etc.. Another of my favorite “I’m gonna fuck with you” moments are those folks who’ll admit that, yeah – they like having their dick sucked or their pussy eaten… but they’d also say that they wouldn’t like it if some dude blew them or some babe ate them… and I’ll ask them, “What’s the difference?”
And they all know for a fact that it is different… when it really isn’t other than who’d be doing something to you that you actually like having done to you. As such, the problem isn’t “what” – it’s “who” and then a bigger “problem” arises when, in that moment, they realize that “who” doesn’t really matter a whole lot. A lot of people learn this and, yep, they feel guilty as fuck… because they just got their rocks off in a way they were told they weren’t supposed to.
To be sure: Some people say never and they damned well mean it and that’s just the way it is. Some people say never… and somewhere down the road, find or have reason to change their minds like the many men who are in sexless relationships, people who if it wasn’t for bad luck, they wouldn’t have any luck at all when it comes to dating and getting laid and now that measure of last resort they figured would never arrive has done just that.
Because I’ve given “a few” guys their first experience in this, I’ve learned to pay very close attention to them because there’s going to be two possible outcomes (no puns) when that moment of truth is upon them: They’re either going to freak the fuck out and not proceed… or they’re going to say, “Fuck it!” and things will proceed. Then it’s about their reaction once things proceed and, just as important, when it’s all said and done.
And some of those reactions are just bad, from throwing up to having a bit of an emotional break. Which is why when I find myself dealing with one of those guys who has said he’d never do this, a great deal of care is called for and to the point where I will do my best to talk him out of it… because this is some seriously life-changing shit.
Could it happen to you? The potential is always there and just as it is for everyone but, eh, many of us aren’t of a mind to buy into this. Those folks who say with a great deal of certainty that they’d never do this? I like to ask them to give me the winning numbers for the next few Powerballs since, apparently, they have the ability to see into the future with such clarity and certainty. Not saying that it will happen – just saying that it might because, well, shit happens and always happens when you don’t think it will or is supposed to. We tend to operate under the premise that once we make up our minds about something, there’s no changing your mind – ever.
And it’s true that once you make a decision, you should stick with it no matter how it turns out – and that’s fine… but it doesn’t really ever mean that even in the middle of a decision process, you can’t change your mind – and for any reason that makes sense to you and even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.
All I’m really saying is that if you’re one of the many people who say that you’d never do some shit like that, don’t be surprised if, for some reason, you find yourself doing it and if it does, well, do your best to enjoy it since, at the core of it, it’s still sex.
You do like sex, don’t you? We’ve all been mindfucked into believing that sex is only supposed to be done in a certain way and by certain and specific people and, as such, we are almost wholly and totally focused on who more than we are on what. The reality is that who can be anyone and the what is sex; otherwise, ha, ha, there would be no bi- or homosexuals. One of the things I like to say to the haters is kinda snippy: You’re just “mad” because we – bisexuals – can do something you can’t do and probably because you’re too afraid to.
And that pisses some people off – and it’s meant to piss them off and to show them that what you believe isn’t the whole truth of things when it comes to sex. And it’s not always a matter of someone being afraid of it – and some folks won’t do it because they’re afraid they’re gonna like it and want more of it but it’s a continued belief in something that, again, isn’t the whole truth and the belief that if such a thing were to somehow happen, it’s not going to be enjoyable.
And a lot of people do, in fact, find out that it is quite enjoyable. Could you be one of those people? Ya might be – who really knows what the future might bring? Just never say never – you’re probably just begging Mr. Murphy to show up to make your life “interesting…”