Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “It’s Not Gay in a Threeway”

20 May

I read this blog yesterday mostly because the title got my attention. I read it and, wow, it was pretty good and it got me thinking – and remembering – about a lot of things that tend to prevent any kind of group sex from happening because, um, some of it just might turn out to be “gay.”

If a guy and two gals decide to throw it down and the two women, um, gain some biblical knowledge of each other, is it gay? Well, yeah, it is and by the standards we’ve set regarding sex and it is enough to weird people out because we’re supposed to avoid anything that even remotely resembles gayness.

What it really is… is sex. Again just one of the many ways it can be done as well as one of the many ways it’s always been done. Now, you’re invited to click on the link and read the author’s story – I’m not gonna give anything away – but it reminded me, once again, that when it comes to sex, we should think more about what than we do who.

I said it yesterday: Anyone can have some kind of sex with anyone else… provided it’s not gonna be or become a problem. In group sex settings, wow, a lot of people are just very weird about shit and restrictive about what can’t be done. And while there’s some sense in that, some of the restrictions are put in place to prevent shit from happening, oh, like some same-sex intimacy happening and it happened because of the seriously dreaded heat of the moment thing some people believe should never, ever happen. And since people tend to think this way, they’re often shocked when it does happen and usually unpleasantly so… but often?

Quite pleasurably so but, yep, still a bit of a surprise.

I remember my first “heat of the moment” experience as an impromptu foursome took place and while the women were working over a friend’s dick – and I kinda sat watching it – he turned his head, grabbed my cock, and started sucking on it and, yeah, surprising the shit out of me since I knew – or thought I knew – that he wasn’t into this.

Later, when we talked about that moment, well, he was shocked to remember that he did it but said, “I just got carried away!” and I thought that, yeah, that pretty much described exactly what happened and, really, that wasn’t that bad of a thing. Except.

A lot of people do not like being out of control when they’re having sex because it’s pretty scary and opens the door to being vulnerable and exposed even more than sex “normally” tends to do… and that’s just one-on-one sex. Get a group of people together and sex is happening? It gets kinda curious in that in order to be in this situation, you have to have a certain mindset about sex and to be able to shake off the strange feelings associated with know that not only are you having sex with a group of people, they’re watching you and you’re watching them and that alone, at times, is enough to freak people out.

People try to “script” these things and, it seems to me, it’s always about who can do what to whom and what can’t be done and, sometimes, even stating that there will be no heat of the moment shit happening and I’ve actually watched people be right on the edge of having a heat of the moment moment and snatch themselves back from it and I’ve seen the look on their face when they realized that, oh, shit – I’m about to do something that goes against the rules of engagement put in place!

And I’ve seen people get to that heat of moment moment and dive all into it no matter what the rules were. Sometimes there were the expected objections to “that gay shit” happening… and sometimes no objections were raised although whoever was involved in the moment would later use the heat of the moment to excuse their behavior for doing some “gay shit” that, if you were to strip away the label, it’s just sex and sex with out the inhibitions that have been instilled in everyone.

A gal getting her tits sucked by another gal, well, is it gay? Some would say it is since the only person allowed to suck on some boobs are guys and just overlooks the fact that anyone can play with boobs. That same gal goes from having her tits played with and nipples sucked to having her coochie licked and fingered by the same girl who was having big fun with the boobs – is that gay? Technically? Yep. But what it really is is just sex.

Does it really matter? It only matters if it matters to you but, as I wrote yesterday, we really put a lot of shit into sex when thinking about who more than we do what and because our focus is on who, we believe that if the who changes – instead of a woman jerking on our cock, there’s a guy doing it – well, not only is it different but it’s totally gay… when, if ya get right down to it, it really isn’t.

It’s just sex… but we have a problem looking at it like that, don’t we? Guys love having their dicks sucked… except if it’s a guy who wants to do that. We don’t think about the obvious fact that anyone can suck a dick; but we do lose our fucking minds when the person blowing us has a dick, too. Women, well, for the most part, they love being eaten and having lots of attention paid to their pussies… but let another woman provide that attention and it might be a problem because despite it being deemed to be okay for women to do this to each other, women can be just as weird and funny about it as men tend to be.

Because we think who. We don’t think what so much. We think who doing a thing just fucks shit up and it does… inside one’s head. I learned a long time ago something that a lot of people don’t believe: Your body doesn’t give a flying fuck who is giving it pleasure… but your mind does because damned near everyone believes that pleasure is only to be given and received in the boy/girl mode of things.

Well, until one discovers that it ain’t the only way. Remember what I said yesterdays? The hardest part isn’t doing it or having it done – it’s getting your head around it. It’s admitting that the person who went down on you did make you feel good even though it was a person prohibited from making you feel good and if you didn’t, it wasn’t because of what they did.

It was because of who they were. A guy doing it or a gal doing it. A lot of threesomes (and other such combinations) never happen for a couple of reasons. One, we’re just prudes about having sex with more than two people involved (and sometimes one-on-one as well) and some “gay shit” might happen and that is even more bothersome and to the point, again and again, we don’t think about what.

The good thing? A lot of people find out that who doesn’t matter as much as we believe it should. Yep, it’s pretty weird the first time and even more so when you didn’t expect it and even in that exact moment, one has a choice: Stop it from taking place… or go with it. Many will stop it because that shit is gay and it’s gonna reflect badly on them… and many will go with it because something in their head says to them, “It might be gay… but it feels good.”

Which, of course, is one of the reason to have sex in the first place.

I read the referenced blog and was happy to see that who was doing what, in the end, didn’t matter to the author… but the what did matter and because that’s the only thing that should matter. Even bisexuals tend to get tunnel vision about who and, yes, as I mentioned yesterday, who you have sex with does have a lot of importance but the reality is that who doesn’t matter as much as what does but, yeah, people are just ironically funny about sex and who matters more than anything else.

It’s not even about who does it better; it should be about the fact that someone wants to give you this pleasure in the first place and it’s a lesson that a lot of people never really learn given what their focus is on. Someone asked me if I felt weird having a guy sucking my dick and I said, “No. Should I feel weird about it?”

They thought I should and I just shrugged and said, “I’m having my dick sucked and I do love having my dick sucked… so why should it matter who’s doing it as long as they want to do it because, ah, they didn’t have to?”

And people believe that it does matter and that it’s just too gay for one’s sensibilities… and not giving a single thought to the fact that no matter who’s doing it, it’s still sex.

Always has been sex. Forever will be about sex. We’re just hopelessly funny about it but the good part is that more and more people these days are learning something I learned decades ago. Who doesn’t really matter. What does matter. Anyone, if they could, can suck cock and/or eat pussy but we continue to hold onto to very narrow and restrictive thought that those things can only be done one way.

The author of the blog learned that, nope, not the only way one can be made to feel good when having sex. And, nope, it’s really not gay in a threeway.

Still just sex.

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Posted by on 20 May 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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