I was sitting here, minding my own business, when my brain asked, “Hey, do you remember that time that lesbian gave you a bunch of shit about commenting on her post?”
Yeah, I remembered it and I remembered stepping off in her ass big time and pointing out to her that instead of being a whiny bitch about a guy actually giving gay women a compliment, she should remember that, um, we like women, too.
I had asked my brain, “Why are we thinking about this?” and the answer I got was, “No particular reason other than we’d rather accentuate and hype our differences rather than to embrace the things we have in common with each other.”
The lesbian in question, I guess, felt that I was objectifying what women do when, in fact, I was giving them props for being bold and brave enough to put their love for women on display and with little shame involved. She eventually apologized for snapping at me and I accepted it… but “walked away” feeling some kind of way because, yeah, when it comes to sexuality, we rarely acknowledge or celebrate what we have in common and, sometimes, we wanna be a victim of some kind and maybe refusing to see the commonality.
The woman had said that men don’t know how to please and I didn’t argue that point. She said that because I was a man, there was no way I could understand anything about this – but changed her tune when I mentioned that I’m bisexual and was married to a very bisexual woman and knew quite a few and what understanding I do have I learned from them.
“We have something in common,” I had said. “You love women… and so do I. You say you’re bisexual and I am, too; I know some stuff about dick that you know as well… but you’re sniping at me like I’m the bad guy? You need to grow up, little girl…”
Ooh, she didn’t like that last time one bit and I had hoped she wouldn’t… then proceeded to lay some wisdom on her and pointing out this it was wisdom I learned before she was born and probably before either of her parents were born.
She didn’t like that, either but I did understand her initial reaction because there are some who feel that women loving each other is just plain wrong and they should love dick “like every woman has to.” Women are so touchy about being objectified that you can’t compliment some without incurring their wrath… and it signifies a sorry state of affairs if I’ve ever seen one.
We’d rather be enemies than to be allied in our commonality and to the point where some gay and bi women will bash the shit out me because I not only know about pussy, I have the gall to know some stuff about dick, evoking yet again that stupid double standard that continues to divide us all. And the most troubling aspect about this is that we’ve yet to learn not to let the commonality we share go by the wayside and keep letting it make enemies out of each other.
Bisexuals are “stuck in the middle” between straights and gay and, more often than not, with neither side recognizing that we have things in common with both ends of the spectrum… and I’ll be damned if I know why more people aren’t more aware of this. No – we’d rather ignore that which we have in common and allow the ancient fear of the other – if you ain’t like us, you’re against us – rule the day.
It makes no sense and more so when, at the very root of things, um, we all like sex at the very least… but we continue to allow our rather singular points of view cloud our vision and not be able to see how much we do have in common and sexuality, such as it is, doesn’t mean a whole lot. Doesn’t mean that gays should dive into heterosexual sex and it doesn’t mean that heterosexuals should take a walk on the wild side either – you don’t have to in order to see the commonality.
We just don’t want to see it. We’d rather see ourselves as “victims” and each other as “mortal enemies.” We don’t rejoice in our rich sexual diversity and instead of valuing our differences, we’d rather use them as a stick to beat each other with. We’re… messy and that’s a crying shame.
Just some kinda random thoughts that popped into my head that I needed to get out…