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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “It Sounds Like a Good Idea”

31 Aug

I learned to inwardly cringe every time I heard a guy utter these words and in response to my question of, “Why in the world would you want to get into having sex with other guys?”

I knew – and even if they didn’t – that a lot of things sound like a good idea until it’s time to take things from idea to reality and if things don’t work the way a person envisioned them, well, that’s not a good thing.

I’d often find myself getting into that “what is it like” conversation with some guys whose curiosity had grown from something that was on their mind – and for whatever reason it was there – to the “I need to find out” phase of things. I’ve had so many of these conversations that just talking to some guys was enough for me to get an idea about whether or not what they wanted to experience was, in fact, what they really wanted and needed to do. I learned that, I guess, it’s better to have a good reason for wanting to defy conventional thinking when it comes to sex; there has to be a real… need to cross the line and I learned that, “it sounds like a good idea” is often not a good reason.

I would find myself doing everything I could think of to talk a guy out of this. I wouldn’t lie to them or overly exaggerate things but I’d give it to them straight and beginning with if you decide to go through with this, it’s going to change your life… forever… and it might do it in ways that’s not gonna be good. I’d ask them why they felt and/or thought that – usually – having oral sex with a guy would be a good thing for them to get into; some guys would say that they’d always been curious about it; some guys would say that they knew and/or had heard of some guy who was into it and maybe it was something they needed to check out for themselves.

Some guys were just horny and couldn’t get some babe to uncross her legs; some guys in this category would often say that getting themselves off had little or no real effect other than to make them even more frustrated over their predicament. Okay, that’s a legit reason… but these guys were, in my view of things, looking to replace one thing with something else; it’s not that this… substitution thing can’t or doesn’t work because it can but for male bisexuality to be more… effective, there should be more than just “I need the release” going on because, again, this is a life-changing thing to do and, as such, I’ve heard a lot of guys speak to having a great deal of regret because they thought it sounded like a good idea… then found out it was anything but.

I often say that bisexuality isn’t just a thing to do – it’s a way to be. It’s sex… and much more than that. Wrapping your mouth around a guy’s dick – or him doing that to you? Not really as simple or easy as it seems to be. Sure… some guys watch “gay porn” and can get intrigued by what they see and some guys admit that this is what got them thinking that sucking on a dick or even some anal stuff just sounds like a good idea… until they find themselves in that moment of truth.

I’ve seen guys freeze up; change their minds because they just realized that that good sounding idea is anything but. I’ve seen guys break down and cry, throw up, etc., and none of that is pretty. I’ve seen guys actually get the dick in their mouth and lose it. I’ve seen such things so many times that, at least for me, “it sounds like a good idea” isn’t a good enough reason to subject yourself to such a life-altering thing to do.

Still, some guys are very sure that this is what they want to do. They not only know it at an intelligent level, they feel it and by this I mean that they really do feel the pull toward the middle of things; they’ve seen guys who, with just a look, makes their heart go pitter-patter and, yep, makes it pretty crowded in their underwear. For guys like this, it’s not just or only a good idea, it’s just logical; it intelligently makes sense and every fiber of their being is telling them to find someone to, really, confirm that what they’re feeling is as genuinely real as it all feels to them.

Even still, um, you still gotta be able to do it. There’s always that moment of truth that tests whether that good idea is really that good. It’s always interesting to see a guy facing the moment of truth and to be able to see him thinking about whether or not he really wants to do this; again, sitting somewhere and imagining it in your head is one thing… but a whole different critter when there’s a dick – hard or otherwise – right in your face and waiting for you to do something to it. Or, if you’re that guy who’s been wondering what it’s like to be blown by another guy, there’s still that moment of truth thing going on as you’re watching the other guy lowering his head… and the shit gets very, very real and some guys freak out in some way or they’re so… highly strung? that they can’t even get hard and other “disturbing” things that makes the good idea not so much of one.

I’ll ask guys, “Are you really sure that this is what you want to do?” and it’s a question that I’ll keep asking over and over, from the moment I start talking about what they’re thinking about getting into right up to the moment it’s about to happen if it’s gonna happen with me. The funny thing is that, personally, I haven’t had that many guys get to that before the moment of truth part and change their minds and decide not to go there; usually, some guys get to that moment and decide that they can’t do it and that’s fine; some guys literally say, “Fuck it…” and dive in and learn whether it works for them or it doesn’t. Some guys will go for it… and stop right away; some guys commit themselves to doing it but you can tell they’re still struggling with the reality of it. And some guys, well, they just make you wonder if they were telling you the truth when they said they’ve never done this before.

That it sounds like a good idea, again, is often not so much of a good idea. Like I said, this is some life-changing shit and of the kind that is either going to make your life “better…” or it just isn’t going to. Some guys are of a mind that a one-time thing is what the doctor ordered and thinking that they’re gonna get to bust a nut and that solves the issue of the moment… then find that it’s more involved than that… or find that they just made the “biggest” mistake of their lives.

True enough, many guys find that, wow – this wasn’t as bad as they thought or imagined; many guys do say that, wow, they don’t know why they didn’t do this before now. Some guys are exhilarated… and some guys wind up being more confused than they were before the fact. You can think about it all you want to; you can find out all that you can manage to find out about this and it is better to make as much of an informed decision as humanly possible. You should, I think, have to keep asking yourself why you want to do this and if you can do whatever you’re thinking about and most of all you should be “100%” sure that this is what you need in your life and not so much in a “right now” kind of way.

It always sounds like a good idea… until you find out whether it really is or isn’t.

 
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Posted by on 31 August 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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