Let me start this by saying that I don’t have a beef with feminists. Having said that, I found myself kinda blinking in that “huh?” kind of way to read something a feminist bisexual woman wrote that was so full of what is, to me, recognized as stereotypical claptrap. It’s no secret that women, in general, don’t like being objectified and bisexual women even more so and it’s no secret that women who feel objectified blame men for it and it’s purely our fault that we’re so fascinated and even obsessed with and over them.
It’s an old story; it was ancient before I even first started hearing the complaints women were laying on us and it just has not stopped. It’s a well-known fact that some men – but not all men – think that bisexual women are the shit and we think that because, um, they are… and not just because they can be so erotic and sensual but, yeah, they’re all that, too. Yes… some men are total assholes about it but this is another one of those situations where all men are being demonized for their views of bisexual women based upon the bad apples – we’re just all guilty by association, aren’t we?
It becomes… glaringly obvious that women – and even bisexual women – take a very dim view of bisexual men and we see a continuance of the schism that has divided us and since Adam and Eve first got into an argument about something – and probably that whole getting kicked out of Eden thing. I read what the blog’s author wrote and immediately recognized it because I’ve heard it before; male dominated societies are directly responsible for the objectification of women and bisexual women because we’re all assholes… and it doesn’t really surprise me that there are women who firmly believe this to be the whole truth of things when, actually, it isn’t the whole truth… but who wants to be bothered with the details?
I have a great appreciation of women and bisexual ones and more so when my own bisexuality has taught me a lot of the same things women learn and have had to endure at the hands of men. I can say, without any intent to objectify, that bisexual women are the shit because I know what it takes to be bisexual and, yeah – women tend to be better bisexuals than men tend to be. Not only do they embody eroticism and sensuality in ways that men just can’t come close to duplicating, my experiences with bisexual women have taught me that they just handle being bisexual better than men do.
It’s not as if bisexual women don’t have to deal with their own shitty moments because they’re bisexual because they do… but the question I have and will ask a bisexual woman is, simply, why are you paying attention to the dumb shit? It is a question I’ve asked bisexual men, too and the follow-up question I’ve learned to ask is, “Wouldn’t your time and energy be better spent trying to be the best bisexual you can be?” And here comes the “Yeah, but…” moment. I get that they don’t like the myths, stereotypes, misconceptions, and the mystique that surrounds bisexual women because I sure as fuck don’t like any of the shitty things that are said about bisexual men. I even get that societies are way behind the curve when it comes to ditching its archaic and outdated thinking but such changes do not and cannot happen “overnight” and there are plenty of people who do not take a dim or negative view about anyone who is bisexual…
Doesn’t change the fact that bisexual women are just fucking amazing and when it comes to being bisexual, they put bisexual men to shame and more so when, for the most part, bisexual women tend to be pretty cool about it – and despite the angst they have to deal with and angst that not only comes from men but from lesbians. Again, it’s not that they don’t have their own issues that concern them, like being able to connect with other bisexual women and, yeah, dealing with men who are seriously hyped about them and those who think they’re the most fucked up creature on the planet and all because dick ain’t the only thing they like.
Some – but not all – feminists jump on this like a bad habit… and one of the things I had to learn was to not get offended to hear feminists going off on men. It’s not that they don’t have reason to have the views that they do because they do; our history involving women hasn’t been what anyone would call nice or right but, yeah: There are those who still hold onto very tightly that women are of no real value and they should stay in their place and, sadly, that means on their back, legs gaped open, and with a dick in them. It’s a continuing mindset that offends me and I really don’t like being lumped in with the bad apples.
But to those feminist bisexual women? The question that remains is why are you still riffing about this instead of, again, focusing your energies on being the best bisexual – and really – person you can be? Global societies are what they’ve always been and it’s been proven that any changes societies undergo never happen as quickly as they need to and even when change has managed to be effected, there are still those people who will resist change and bitch and moan about there being no reason for anything to change. I wasn’t offended by what this woman wrote…
But I was… dismayed to see that there are still women who are still buying into the bullshit and blaming men for their woes. As I said to her in my comments, the problem isn’t that “all men are assholes” – it’s that women keep giving this way too much weight and power over them and not looking at the… celebrity status bisexual women have as a good thing. That any woman is a sexual object… well, shit: They were designed to be and for obvious reasons, I think. I know that some – but not all – women can’t stand the fact that they’re sexual objects; I agree that there’s more to a woman than her sexual potential and men, in particular, should take a woman’s non-sexual potential into consideration as well.
The fact of things is that, nope – not all men are able to see past the tits and ass and bisexual women – and I do sincerely apologize for saying this – are the most erotic people on the whole damned planet. I’ll even admit to being jealous and envious because they are way better at being sensual than myself or any other man I know – but it’s not like we don’t try. I’ve seen guys literally fall to pieces or lost their minds to even think about being interested in another guy but bisexual women, well, if it bothers them that another woman finds them enticing – and even if they’re not into it – they don’t really bitch about it and, I’ve always thought, that it’s because they understand what it’s like to be a woman.
You might be thinking, “Duh!” and if you are, that might indicate that you really don’t know what that means. Women just get it and it’s not like men – in particular – have never given them reason to find the comfort in the arms of another woman because, sadly, we have… but just like some bi guys are, women also just innately bisexual; they know it; they feel it and, often, early on in their lives… but just like any bisexual, they are very fearful of what someone else is going to say about them because they’re not straight and then catching all kinds of hell from the other side because they’re not gay.
I kinda rhetorically ask that if someone is at fault or to blame for this, does any of it lie with the people who are so fucked up in the head about this… or is it the fault of the people who are listening to it and letting it affect their lives? I’d never say that feminists don’t have a bone to pick with the way things are because they do – and sexuality has nothing to do with it – but the ancient and outdated way we’ve always looked at women is directly at fault and women have been fighting against this for the longest time and, yes, it’s high time for this archaic mindset to just die…
It ain’t gonna happen any time soon. I am beyond being tickled pink to see so many bisexual women coming to the front and standing up for their right to be bisexual; I am like a kid in a candy store to read/hear their stories of how they’re owning their sexuality and reveling in it and more so when many just don’t give a fuck what anyone else has to say about it, be they male or female. The schism between men and women has existed from the beginning and the schism gets wider when, like I said earlier, there are bisexual women who want to be respected as bisexual women… but bisexual men? Worst creatures ever born. But even that is slowly but surely changing, isn’t it? One of the “facts of life” is that you don’t get respect without giving respect. Another fact is that just because you have the right to self-determination doesn’t mean that there’s not going to be others who think you have no right to be anything other than they think you should be.
Men think, again, that bisexual women are the shit… because they are and the funny part is that bisexual women know that they are… and some just don’t like it. Too many men are stuck in the old and stupid ways of interacting with women and you’d think that after eons of devaluing women, we’d know better than to keep lessening their value and contributions to this thing we call life… and here in the year of our Lord, 2020, there are still men who see women only as sexual objects and believe that they should be and stay barefoot and pregnant and that’s all the “real worth” they have.
Men who think like this are pretty fucking stupid… but feminists, wow, you do know that not all men are that fucking stupid, don’t you? To the feminist bisexual women, okay, bisexual men aren’t women… but do you know that we know a lot of the same stuff you know about men? That us bi guys are, on the whole, totally and completely jealous of the fact that the same society you’re bitching about tends to give bisexual women a pass and puts them on a pedestal… while doing their level best to bury bisexual men by the ongoing process of demonizing and vilifying us? That bisexual women don’t think much about us even though we have bisexuality in common with them and if nothing more than that?
Which is better: A bisexual woman or a bisexual man? Bisexual women win this one every time. But, understandably, women have a beef over being seen “only” as sexual objects… doesn’t change the fact that they are and, again, I’ll even apologize for saying it – again. I know – and so do a lot of guys – that women are more than sexual objects and some of us have learned this the hard way because there aren’t many of us who have failed to get the girl – or to have her leave us – and all because we didn’t value her beyond her sexual potential. It just seems that to feminists, we’re all guilty of having this fucked up mindset…
And not all of us are. I’m just one guy (who happens to be bisexual, too) but I moderate and contribute to a blog for bisexual women and do and say whatever I can to let them know that it’s okay for them to be bisexual and if no one else does, I applaud and celebrate the fact that they’re bisexual and want to be all up in it and in whatever way they want to. Amazingly sensual and erotic – sorry, ladies, you just are. And more genuine than a lot of bi guys I know of. Bisexual women are more… simpler in what they want and need in this… and it’s not always sex… and I’ll say the more “radical” feminists should be aware that there are men who are more than aware of this and how really and truly valuable bisexual women are… and just not because they’re bisexual.
I’m just the guy – and a bi guy, at that – who, once more, has the fucking nerve to say something about it. I ain’t saying that feminists are wrong and never will; I’m not saying that they should give up their fight against city hall and all that; I am saying that not all of us guys are idiots and assholes and they might benefit from being more specific in their condemnation and angst against men and in such a general and stereotypical way. Their struggle is real but like so many other with such views, they’re stuck in the past and too… prone to being rhetorical and dogmatic in their objections to the way things are. It sucks and I’d be the first guy to admit that it sucks but feminists aren’t going to get men to change their minds by kicking us in the nuts at every turn and blaming their woes – which are real – on us when, again, it’s not that some men do this shit… but the fact that too many women give it too much weight and allows this bullshit to have power over them.
I’m fairly sure that the women whose blog I commented on is going to flame me in some way or reply in some very snarky way that will make it sound like I don’t understand what bisexual women are up again: I do understand it and if for no other reason that I, too, am bisexual and subject to a lot more dumb shit than women are. The difference? I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to it because I really do have better things to do. I give it no real weight and it has no power over me because the only person that can stop me from being the bisexual I am is… me.
And I have no plans to stop being bisexual any time soon. When I write about bisexuality, I have more than enough reason to go on a rampage about women having a hair stuck in their asses about male bisexuals and I don’t… because it serves no purpose and there’s nothing to be gained from it. It’s not all women with that hair stuck somewhere they’d rather not have it stuck but it is some women and I wouldn’t blame the… matriarchal mindset for the woes I continue to hear about where bisexual men are concerned. The people who should be targeted and raved against are those people who do not believe that bisexuality is real and that no one should be bisexual. That whole acceptance thing? It’d be nice is we could all just grow the fuck up and accept that this is some real-deal shit and doesn’t make a difference if the bisexual is male or female…
The fact is I know – and even if no other bisexual knows – that we don’t fucking need the acceptance of others. Our mission, if we choose to accept it, is to be bisexual and regardless to who doesn’t like it and the fault, in the case of women, isn’t the sole property or domain of men but that of every- and anyone who doesn’t believe that bisexuality in anyone is a real thing… and that no one has the right to be bisexual.
It’s not my fault that some men have shitty attitudes about bisexual women and I do kinda object to being lumped in with them because I know – and even if the feminists don’t know or want to believe – that I’m on their side and always have been and despite the fact that I do think that bisexual women are the coolest, most erotic, and sensual people on the planet…
Because they are. And I don’t see this as a bad thing but it’s a damned shame that a lot of women think that it is. I do not and cannot speak for all men, bisexual or otherwise; I can only speak for myself and I can only speak to what I know and, importantly, what I’ve experienced since I’ve been with and know a lot of bisexual women. I value them and more so for being brave enough to be bisexual and in the face of all this ongoing bullshit. They are more than sexual objects – all women are – but facts are facts: Women were designed to be and us guys are programmed in that very annoying way to be attracted to them and, yeah, even more so when they’re bisexual… and that’s not really the bad thing some women think it is.