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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Hunt for Cock

26 Oct

Cityman and I – and as usual – had a good conversation about the title of this scribble and, as usual, because he took notice of all the guys on his various apps sending him “unsolicited” pics and requests for him to give them his cock, ass, or both. I pointed out to him that, duh – the nature of the apps just lends itself to getting propositions that you actually didn’t ask for or might not even be looking for – just the way they work.

I allowed that since apps appeared on the scene, they have the advantage of making a lot of… like-minded guys much more visible than ever which is both a good thing… and a bad one. Good because, um, the halfway decent GPS function in most apps can let you know how many guys are close by and bad because now there’s a lot of guys to choose from and that, at least in the way I think, doesn’t make it easy to pick a guy you’d be interested in doing the nasty with. Also as usual, the “history lesson” in that, back in the day, if you wanted some dick, you literally had to go looking for it or hope that while you’re out and about, you get “lucky” and either find a guy who gets your attention or you’ve managed to get his.

On the whole, nah – that wasn’t easy or convenient and by no stretch of the imagination so when the websites – then the apps for those sites – came along, wow: Who knew there were than many guys into dick that were within a mile of wherever one happens to be? In the very early days of this, chances were very good that you were gonna get the cock/ass you were looking for… until the trolls, fakes, and flakes started inhabiting sites until things got so… bad that you could literally spend hours and even longer periods of time trying to find that one guy who you think – and hope – would suit your needs.

You’d think that a site or app for guys who want to play with a dick would be a big no-brainer and given how well populated they are, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel… and it’s really anything but that simple. One of the things sites and apps allowed guys to do was to write down specifically and precisely what they wanted, how they wanted it, and even who they wanted it from; that some of what’s written can be considered downright rude and arrogant, the good thing is that guys are stating their preferences and other criteria and the bad part is that guys are stating their preferences and other criteria… and making being able to find a guy to have sex with harder instead of it being easier to do.

Cityman showed me what some guy had sent him by way of a proposition and the gist of it was if you weren’t a bear with a beard and unwilling to be on your knees and servicing his cock, don’t bother to contact him. I read what the guy said and I both laughed and shook my head and asked Cityman – rhetorically, of course – why it would matter what kind of guy sucks your cock as long as someone is willing to do it? You’d think it wouldn’t – and maybe shouldn’t – make a difference or be that big of a deal but it is a big deal and it does make a difference since, again, the sites and apps makes it easy to tell other men exactly what you want and all that “important” stuff.

There are few days that go by that I don’t see guys on the forum complaining about not being able to find a guy to have sex with but also complaining about all the flakes and fakes one can run into and, incredibly, continuing to ask what’s the best way to find a guy – or The Guy – they wanna be sexual with and what just makes me roll my eyes is that none of these guys seem to understand that, as I’ve said time and time again, the dick you want is not ever just gonna wind up on your doorstep with you doing anything to make that happen. I can understand the cluster fuck that the sites and apps have become and why guys are loathe to bother with them but it also seems to me that if you aren’t of a mind to use the tools available, uh, there’s only one other thing you can do: Get off your ass and hunt or be hunted.

Oh, that’s right: A lot of guys don’t even wanna do that. Maybe it’s just me (and I doubt that it is) but I’m thinking that if you wanna do the nasty with another guy, motivating yourself to be able to do that is in order. Guys talk about gay bathhouses, glory holes, adult movie theaters – and places that, historically, are good for finding like-minded men; they know about them wherever they live but many are scared shitless to visit one or, if they do, the first time they get hit on, they head for the hills as fast as humanly possible – and even if the guy putting a move on them is the kind of guy they’d want to put a move on them.

Cityman had asked – and not even close to being the first time – how I found guys to have sex with and I said, “The old fashioned way; either I went looking for them or they were out there looking for me or any guy they’d think would be agreeable.” And even though – in my neck of the woods – there were a couple of publications that had “personal ads,” it wasn’t a given that a guy with an ad stating his desire to get with another guy to suck dick would, in fact, be able to do what his ad said he wanted. Some guys would place an ad… but not provide a phone number they could be reached at – understandable. One publication had a “mailbox” kind of thing that was, for the most part, discrete but the problem with that was usually guys not wanting to out themselves by even buying that publication or doing whatever they had to do to check their “mailbox.” And, yeah, even way back then, a lot of guys were just and only about the thrill of the hunt but getting them to agree to meet?

Oh, sorry, I can’t – my dog is still in the washer and I gotta put him in the dryer or some other lame – and obviously false – reason for not showing up to do all that shit they’d been talking. This particular aspect of things hasn’t changed one bit. There are guys who will, guys who can’t – but they want to – and there are guys who, for the most part, get off fucking other guys around and with no intent to actually do anything: The more things change, the more they stay the same, huh?

As noted, the problem isn’t that there not a way to find like-minded guys because there is; the problem is that there are “too many” guys to choose from and there still is no way, initially, to know if the guy is for-real or just another fakey flake. Making matters worse is that there are lot of guys on the sites and apps who feel it’s a total waste of time to actually have a conversation or, as I once saw on a guy’s profile, “More fucking, less talking!” Some guys are… pretty blunt about what, when, how, and who they wanna have sex with and I guess they don’t believe – or was never told – that you can get more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

But that’s both the good and bad things the sites and apps have going. Almost anyone you might find wants what they want and in the exact way they want it and they want it right the fuck now and nothing is negotiable; when you get an untold number of men doing this and in a place where it’s supposed to be easy to find what you want, um, take a guess at what doesn’t happen as much as it probably should? Women pitch a bitch about being on “dating” apps and getting ghosted, catfished, stood up, etc., and you can see the exact same kind of shit happening on “gay dating” sites and apps and, yeah, it gets even… funnier because not all of the men who sign up are, in fact, gay. There was this one site for “bisexual dating” I saw years ago that had more gay men signed up that actual bi guys which I found to be funny given how some gay men look down their noses at bi men… but they have no problem having sex with us and, yeah, because your cock has been in the very much hated pussy – and no matter when the last time that happened – you ain’t shit and don’t even bother contacting them.

The dumb shit that can be easily found and seen – and even tossed your way unsolicited – is reason to not be all that happy about what might really be available on the “market…” but, again, if the sites and apps aren’t working for you and you just don’t have the time to weed out the assholes and other unwanted/undesirable types, um, that kinda means that you don’t have much in the way of other options save the old-fashioned way:

Get off your ass and hunt or allow yourself to be hunted. These days, jeez, guys are very, very paranoid – and I’m being nice about it because I can’t think of any other word that would accurately describe what I see going on other than to be insensitive and say that they’re just too damned afraid to do what they keep saying they want to do. A lot of guys create these scenarios in their head and, sometimes, I think, in ways that they probably know won’t even happen… but sometimes, they do and instead of them going for what they know? They haul ass… and then express great regret for letting that opportunity – and the one they’ve been dreaming of (and jerking off to) – pass them by.

I even give Cityman da bizness when he gets to acting just like so many guys these days tend to do. He complains about not being able to find his kind of guys… then complains when all of his kind of guys are vying to get into his underwear. He’ll tell me that he knows for a fact there is a guy who is literally one block away from him who wants to get into some heavy cock sucking and he is, himself, very horny (but I think that’s his normal state of existence) and he’ll say he should tell the guy he’ll be right there… and just won’t and will provide excuse after excuse for not checking this guy out – and this guy has been checking him out and asking for the dick for months. He’s talked to the guy and is deemed to be okay and he does, in fact, want to suck dick… and just won’t. He doesn’t have to, of course, but it’s indicative of what I tend to observe on a daily basis.

He’ll ask me if I’d suck a guy who is hitting on him and I say that I would and the only reason why I wouldn’t is… because I don’t want to and if he mentions that he thinks the guy is his idea of an asshole, well, that’s even more of a reason not to. He, like a lot of bi guys these days, is all about that which he prefers: What he wants and the way he wants it and if you’re not anywhere near close to that, no deal and why are you even bothering me? This very thing is both what’s good about sites and apps… and what is very wrong with them and I’m of a mind that when one is presented with too many choices and possibilities, that doesn’t make it easier:

It makes it harder and the more detailed and specific any guy gets, the harder he makes it for someone to say yes. Holy crap: They don’t make bi guys like they used to! Cityman is often… amazed or “impressed” that I’ve been able to have so much sex with guys and wonders how I managed to do it. It’s actually kinda simple: I’ve said yes more than I’ve said no and while I have preferences just like anyone else would, I don’t let them disqualify guys but I will let them DQ themselves since most guys can’t pass my “asshole test.” But if they did pass, you betcha: Whatever we agreed to do is gonna happen. I told him that I trust my instincts and if they tell me that this guy feels or sounds wrong? Not gonna happen; I’m horny as all get out… never stupid or careless. I tell him – and other guys – that the “secret” to my success is keeping it simple and making it easier for myself and some other guy and not making it harder for either of us.

It’s never really been rocket science… but it’s turned out to be that way, it seems. The guys who are, today, successful in their hunt for cock are the guys who “aren’t that particular or funny” about who gets to get into their underwear… if they’re wearing any at all. They’re not careless or stupid about it but they’re of a mind to say yes more than they’d say no and unless there’s something wrong with it, a dick is a dick and now it’s just a matter of how the other guy is gonna let them play with it. They’re not looking so much for a FWB, fuck or suck buddy, or whatever – they want a guy to say yes and they have good reason to believe the guy is gonna be safe enough to have some kind of sex with and, when in doubt, they either do nothing at all… or put a rubber on it.

And most of the guys these days who do think like this also don’t seem to be all that concerned about what anyone thinks about them having a craving for dick… and taking care of that craving whether they’re single or very married. Was it easier back in the day? It was because while there were tons of guys who were down with this, you didn’t always run into so many that making a choice was difficult to do or, as they often say in fine dining cookery, “Less is more.” Instant gratification is the theme of the times and that might be all well and good… except that it really does take time to find a guy you’d want to give it up to; it’s become a thing these days that more men are find that they have to put in some serious work to make happen…

And they just do not want to do that. The logic suggests that if there’s work to be done in this and you don’t wanna do any of it, guess what’s not gonna happen? And if this… laziness is the way you’re doing things and not getting what you want, why are you bitching about not being able to get it? Guys who do this are quick to blame other guys when, in fact, it’s their fault they’re not getting the dick action they want… because they’re not willing to do what’s necessary to get it and by that I mean they just don’t want to do the work that’s required and, again, they make it harder to realize and not of a mind to make it easier.

Sigh… they really don’t make bi guys like they used to. I tend to roll my eyes when I see a guy write that if he could, he’d suck off a whole room full of dicks but the reason why he hasn’t or won’t is because it makes him feel like a slut and rather whorish… and I’m thinking, “Really, dude?” Some of the stuff they fantasize about is actually quite doable… but, again, they just don’t wanna do a damned thing about making it real for themselves and with more excuses than Campbell’s has beans and soups. I’ll say it again and again:

When your list of what you’re not gonna do (and including who, what, where, when, and how) is longer than your list of what you will do (with the inclusion I mentioned), guess what ain’t ever gonna happen? And if you do nothing to… shift the balance to a more doable aspect, guess what ain’t gonna happen – and then why are you bitching about it not happening?

Have I ever mentioned how funny guys are about this?

 
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Posted by on 26 October 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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