Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Is It Just About the Sex?

05 Nov

Yes. No. Kinda. It could be… and might not be. It depends. I think people hear “bisexual” and images of wild orgies pop into some minds or some other kinds of mental porn gets stuck on repeat in their thoughts but for many, being bisexual and embracing what it means to be bisexual doesn’t always include sex, well, none outside of whatever sex they normally have.

It’s pretty amazing and awe-inspiring to look at the world around you without the blinders our morality installs and being able to admit to yourself that the same-sex attractions you may have been feeling – or are feeling now – isn’t all that bad of a thing or, simply, it’s the way you feel and being able to feel this way is awesomely liberating. It does not mean that one of the first things to be done in this is to go jump some bones (or get yours jumped) but, um, yeah… it’s pretty much implied, isn’t it?

I think but really can’t “confirm” that once someone accepts that this is how they’re feeling, it puts them more in touch with, well, their feelings and more so when this “revelation,” as I’ve been saying, rewrites everything they know, have been taught, and even what they’ve experienced in life to date. It has always amazed me how all of this gets translated into having sex and while there aren’t many women I know who have said that now that they’re bi, they’re gonna rush out and ravish some mother’s daughter… but guys tend to behave like this and by the many times I’ve heard guys talk about this… irresistible compulsion to play with a dick in some way.

The compulsion is real and it is persistent; I’ve heard folks talk about how distracting it is and how, for many, it just erodes their “common sense” in that they become aware of the risks involved and not just the health-related ones; it’s not all that difficult for one to almost immediately understand the great angst in play about not being 100% heterosexual or, yeah, even being 100% homosexual for some and, well, it’s not something one is usually of a mind to do something like, oh, rent a billboard and let everyone who happens to see it know that, hey – I’m bisexual now!

I’ve had people tell me that being bisexual is just about the sex and nothing more than that and I happen to know that they’re right about that and not so much; some folks feel that they have no need to have sex in this way and there are so many poor souls out there who want to… and there’s just no way for them to figure out how they can do it and more so with “new” bisexuals who are in a relationship already and those who have been in one for a whole lot of years.

But, yeah; the compulsion to have the sex is pretty fucking powerful and when I’ve been asked why it is my answer is usually, “I really don’t know – I just know it is. You’d think that because I’m bisexual and have been since “forever,” I’d know the answer but, nope – I really don’t; I have no idea what drives the compulsion or why it seems to make so much sense – and even when the moral imperatives we’ve been programmed with is telling us – screaming at us – to not even go there.

Remember I wrote in my last scribble, “Free your mind and your ass will follow?” Yeah – it seems that once you free your mind, your ass is gonna want to follow in a very carnal way and so much that it feels like a logical conclusion… and I’m not sure that it really is… but it might be… shit… I really don’t know.

I just know it’s real, that it’s powerful, and it’s a bitch and a half trying to ignore it. I’d suppose it doesn’t “help” anyone who, prior to acceptance, has been wondering what it would be like and it definitely doesn’t help anyone who has watched porn – any kind of porn – and it’s been putting all kinds of salacious and “nasty” thoughts in their head about a certain kind of sex they could be having if they can admit to themselves that this is what they’ve been feeling and thinking. For those folks who haven’t really had such thoughts or, I think, really, it’s crossed their minds and got summarily kicked out for moral reasons, I cannot explain why many such people get hit with the compulsion once they’ve freed their mind about sex and sexuality when they accept their bisexuality.

I know about the objection and we just have this… thing about people who are having more sex than what’s “allowed” and we do give people who have tons of sex a hard time about being so… promiscuous and like it’s a bad thing but, yeah, to them, it really is. Men who are out there screwing like it’s illegal are dogs and women are just straight-up sluts… and when one is bisexual, holy shit – what the hell is wrong with you? Just pick one person to have sex with and leave it at that!

Yeah… doesn’t work like that but, as I’ve scribble about before, there’s this… leaning or even a push to legitimize sex as a bisexual by imposing the same moral components that define heterosexuality: No casual sex, no sex without a relationship of some kind being in place and with the requisite emotional connections firmly in place and then only with one person at a time but with an “exception” that says if you’re in a relationship already and the compulsion has beaten you down enough to act, you are kinda “allowed” to have one other person to have the sex with other than the person you’re with which, okay – that’s a problem, too, right? It is but people do find ways around that.

It’s not really just about the sex and I can’t emphasize this enough but, damn, it’s pretty damned attractive and, again, there’s just that… something that says, “Go ye forth and get jiggy like that… and you can’t do it fast enough!” The compulsion is like getting run over by a fast-moving train and more so when most people really don’t see it coming; it’s like after x-amount of time debating with themselves if they’re bisexual or not, the moment they tell themselves that they are – pow! – here comes the compulsion and it’s why I’ve heard so many men and women get pretty flustered to find themselves craving the sex when, prior to acceptance, it wasn’t there outside of their “normal” desire for sex. Or, yeah – as I’ve heard time and time again, guys asking, “Why do I have this urge to suck a dick?”

And, again, I say to them, “I really don’t know where it comes from but I do know that it’s powerfully real.” Or they’ll ask why it suddenly makes so much sense when it never did before and, yep – I don’t know why it makes sense and, yep, I just know that it does… well, to most folks. Now, many do learn that having the compulsion and actually doing something about it can be seriously different but that’s not really the point here; it’s not really all about the sex but I feel safe in saying that it usually does – and it’s not always about actually having it.

Now we’re getting into having very bad cases of dick and pussy on the brain. Not everyone acts on the compulsion… doesn’t stop the compulsion from fucking with their thoughts one bit. Some can keep it down to a dull roar in their minds and some just can’t. They know, given their situation and all that, that they shouldn’t give in to the compulsion and they fervently wish it would just go away and leave them the hell alone – and they ask if it ever goes away and I’ve been the one to tell them that, nope – it doesn’t go away; it might “back off” at times but just completely vacate the premises?

Nope – doesn’t work like that. See, it’s believed that bisexuals run into problems because they do “dash out” and have the sex but the biggest problem they face is… not having the sex and fiercely resisting the compulsion to do just that. Why? Shit… if I knew the answer to that, I’d also know about the other stuff I don’t have answer for! Even when one has resolved themselves to the “impossibility” of ever having the sex, the compulsion doesn’t go anywhere and for some, it’s like the compulsion says, “Okay, okay – you’re not gonna do it the way you know you should be doing it so let’s redirect it in a way you feel more comfortable in, aight?”

Some folks have said that now that they’re bisexual – even if in thought at this point – they’ve turned into some very horny critters and more than what’s normal for them… and, no – I have no idea why… I just know it can happen. And even when they start having more “normal” sex, the compulsion to have the “other kind of sex” is still there or, as one guy told me, he was having a hard time figuring out why he was still craving dick when he was getting pussy and the simple explanation I could come up with was that pussy is good and all that… but it’s not what you really wanted and, no, no, no – I don’t have a clue about what’s really going on with this.

I just know that it can work like that. I know that because the compulsion does make a lot of people get into the sex, it looks like being bisexual is just about the sex. It is… and it isn’t… but it could be and might not be. Confused? Welcome to the club. And before I forget, if one gives in to the compulsion and has the sex, um, it might not make the compulsion go away and it just might kick the compulsion into a higher gear – and I think I kinda understand this one a bit better and it goes something like this:

That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be! See, we all “know” that “gay sex” is bad and all that… until one finds out that it isn’t. A lot of folks are of a mind that if they do the nasty like that, they’re going to instantly turn into some kind of flaming, flamboyant homosexual – then get the “shock of their lives” to discover that, after the fact, they’re still the same person they were before the fact… kinda. Not straight but not gay and it just wasn’t all that bad. Yeah, for some, the sex didn’t live up to expectations or as advertised and that can kill the compulsion… and it might not. I think some folks just kinda “go ahead and get it over and done with” and with the thought that once they do, the compulsion is going to be satisfied and it’s going to leave them alone going forward.

The truth is, I think, sometimes it does just that… but it’s rare that it’s one and done. It didn’t “kill” you, you didn’t instantly and immediately become “very, very gay” and, hmm, it really wasn’t all that bad and, damn it, why didn’t I do this before now? And the compulsion is kicked back and having a smoke and saying, “Okay, now you know… so when are we gonna do it again and, oh, yeah – you will do it again!”

And even if one doesn’t, the compulsion just never goes away. One can sit and think of every reason they can manage as to why they should never do this again… and it still makes perfectly good sense that they do while making perfectly good sense not to. Confused? So are a lot of people. Why? Still don’t know – still just know that this is how it works for a great many people.

I think that once one gets their minds freed from what they’ve been taught about all of this, it… unlocks something and now their ass is ready to follow and the path being followed also includes having the sex and, damn it, probably because it really does make sense to do it and more so when one’s intelligence has come to the conclusion that the reasons given for not having sex like this just isn’t the whole truth when it comes to having sex so… why the hell not? For some, well, they were already headed in this direction and out of curiosity… but I have no explanation for those folks who weren’t ever curious and were dead set against such behaviors in anyone… and now, here they are finding themselves dealing the the compulsion and their minds unlocked and freed because they’ve somehow managed to reason that not only is bisexuality a real thing, it just makes so much sense.

You don’t have to have the sex but I’ll admit that it is implied. A lot of people don’t have the sex… and an uncountable number of people do. I maintain that thinking and doing aren’t always the same things and if there are those out there who believe that if one is bisexual, they’re gonna have the sex that’s possible, well, they’re not all that wrong but they’re not entirely right, either. Some people just don’t need to do it like that and a lot of people can’t figure out how to get it done but, I dunno, it’s like for some, it doesn’t all completely fall into place until they actually have the sex and more so if/when the sex is found to be to their liking… and most people do, by the way.

It is about the sex… and it isn’t. Things just somehow come together and in a way that makes it feel so sensible and because there are a lot of things that get unlocked when we say, “Okay – I’m bisexual!” and things that seem to be lying in wait for this “revelation” to come to the surface. It doesn’t always surface but, whew, when it does?

Guess what happens? Sex is still one of the best ways to express emotions; bisexuality doesn’t just get you thinking in a different way, it gets you feeling in different ways and it just seems that when you add it all up – and not forgetting to carry the one – it just somehow makes all the sense in the world and one does tend to find themselves being compelled to, at the very least, what it’s like to have the sex.

And it’s really not as bad as it’s thought to be…

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Posted by on 5 November 2020 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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