Yeah, that. The thing that tends to make some folks want to soil themselves just hearing about it, let along trying to imagine it. The thing that also tends to blind those folks looking for wet wipes so much that they can only see one side of a two-sided thing. Also the thing that gave birth to a double standard I first heard of way back in 1965 and is still alive and well today.
The thing that gets some folks all fucked up in the head because, on the one hand, having sex is quite natural and normal but, on the other, eh, not so much when the participants are of the same sex and now it’s deemed to be unnatural and very much abnormal because, well, you probably already know why.
“I just don’t understand why guys would even want to have sex with another guy!“
It’s not that hard to understand if, by chance, you happen to know anything about guys and that biological imperative hard-wired into us and you don’t automatically think about what men are supposed to do when it comes to having sex. It’s not so much about being gay or whatever your orientation happens to be even though, when it comes to bi guys, this is the part that gets all of the attention and sometimes in that train wreck kind of way: You don’t wanna look but you look anyway and, for this, saying, “Ew, that’s nasty!” is a typical response but one of the things I noticed was that one could see some straight sex happening and not think it’s all that nasty and, to mention the double standard I also mentioned, if it’s two girls going at it, hmm, not all that nasty.
“Well, if two guys are fucking, they have to be gay and into each other like that!“
Um, no, not really. Two main things in this are wanting to do it and getting up the intestinal fortitude to actually do it but, yeah, okay, if you happen to like the guy, so much the better. When Cityman and I get to talking about this the one thing I keep pointing out to him is that at the root of this, it’s “Hey, do you wanna do it? I do if you do!” and, of course, “I won’t tell if you won’t!” When it comes to boys being boys, there’s always that onset of puberty and that rush of hormones to take into consideration and when you combine that with that the taboo nature of boys having sex, well, hmm, um, it makes sense that some of us wind up checking out each other before chasing girls. Indeed, I’ve heard adults say that boys being boys is just “practice” for having sex with girls which, if nothing else, is a polite thing to say when our hormones come online and our testes drop into place and those urges get to running around inside of us.
It isn’t to say that all boys dive into that experimental phase but, yeah, a lot of us do and to bake your noodle even further, some of us don’t “experiment” until we’re middle-aged adults and even then experiments are conducted because they missed out on the early part of things. It kinda breaks down to two type of guys: The ones who obey the rules and the ones who say, “Fuck the rules! I wanna know all about this!”
“Guys don’t have any good reason to be sucking each other’s dick!“
Yeah, we do… that shit feels good. It feels way better than beating our meat. Bill Cosby, before he became very much hated, once said in a routine that he thought there was some entity whose job it was to tell kids things they had no business knowing and one of the first “illicit” things we heard about is the blow job and to make this even funnier, one of my friends said that he wanted to give me a blow job and literally blew a blast of air on my cheek but said, “I don’t think that was right.” It wasn’t… but it sure was funny. I don’t know about other guys but under the “children should be seen and not heard” rule, I’d often heard adult males talking about the blow job and sucking dick and, most of the time, they were oblivious to the fact that us young’uns were right there taking it all in.
We wanna play show and tell with our dicks; you show me yours, I’ll show you mine. if you let me touch yours, you can touch mine and, yeah, sometimes, even more of an exciting thing to do when we’re told to not let anyone touch us “down there.” Well, why? Let’s find out! Doesn’t always lead to mouth meeting dick but, yeah, uh-huh – wow, when I kiss your ding-dong, it stands right up! How about that! Feels funny to do it but kinda feels good, too!
I know guys who got caught doing stuff like this and whoever busted them said, “Where did you learn that from?” Sometimes, um, it’s just something we seem to know and no one told us or showed us anything about it and doing it sounds like a good idea, you know, as long as no one catches us but if you wanted to point to a source, it’s something we learn and teach each other. Like the guy who showed me how to jerk myself off? I still don’t know how he knew how to do that… but he showed me and I turned right around and showed the other guys. And, wow, isn’t it fun when we can do that in front of each other? Ain’t it fun to do that to each other? Feels weird but, yeah, it sure feels good!
And, you betcha: If you kiss and suck my ding-dong, it really feels good and if I do the same to you, yup – that feels good, too! Makes you get that really funny, tingly feeling and it’s so… different you can get a bad case of the giggles and, sure, can you make it feel like that again? True enough, for some guys, it’s all fun and games until that funny feeling shows up and now, uh, maybe we shouldn’t have done that and we should stop, well, for the moment.
Like most guys, I had my first ejaculatory experience with a girl and it was a doozy to end all doozies… and I couldn’t wait to tell and show my male friends that I could now shoot the feared and dreaded baby-making stuff! What does it feel like? Even better… what does it taste like? Let’s find out! Well, yuck; it’s all warm and sticky and not sure that it tastes all that good… but, boy, didn’t it feel good to make it come out? And, yeah, it wasn’t that much of a stretch to figure out that if you could stick it in a girl and make the stuff come out, you could stick it in a boy’s behind and the same thing would happen and if you were the one getting it stuck in you, wow – that feels good but weird but good!
Did we know we were doing the one thing boys weren’t supposed to do? You bet your ass we knew it… which made doing it even more fun. Again, not all males participated in what could be called a rite of passage but those of us who did knew we were onto something. And while many, um, early adopters got to a point where the experiment was over for them, a lot of us just kept it going and we fell into two categories: Those who’d only do this with other guys and those who did it with guys and gals because, well, it was much more fun that way.
It’s sex. Just not sex the way it’s supposed to be done.
“You gotta be some kind of pervert…“
That’s what everyone thinks but the truth we still don’t wanna know about or can come to terms with is that you can have sex with guys, girls, or both. If you like it with someone who’s the same sex as you are, does that mean you’re gay? We say that’s the case but it never was which, I guess, explains why here in 2021, people are so very much freaked out over bisexuality because, on the one hand, it is quite gay… and not so much. We’ve always had that “train wreck” thing going on about homosexuals so, in a way, it explains why those who are saying that bisexuality isn’t real tends to pay more attention to the homosexual side than the heterosexual side. It’s just nasty and dirty – and for no good reason – for two guys to be sucking and fucking each other when, in fact, there is good reason for it and, simply, because it can be done… and it has always been done.
“Why go there at all?“
Um, because having sex feels good and as many bisexuals who have taken the plunge has learned, it doesn’t really make that much of a difference if the person you’re having sex with is male or female, personal preferences notwithstanding. We can get all into the emotional aspects and, these days, we insist that this part has more and greater meaning than the physical part of this does… and that’s not always the case. It’s sex. Okay, it’s not “pretty” to look at and even I will admit that you have to have a certain aesthetic sense to see the beauty of two guys going at each other but it’s not supposed to look good: It’s supposed to feel good and it very much feels good to do whatever is preferred or, really, whatever it takes to cause orgasms and ejaculation. We might not feel all that sporty after the fact but during it?
Sex is powerful. It not only involves the physical but can unlock some emotional stuff. A guy having sex with another guy can learn some very interesting stuff about himself and some of it can be quite unnerving and as indicated by the many men who has sex with other guys and wind up feeling very… girly. Now, this sentiment isn’t mean to offend or insult women but one of the things us bi guys find out is what it’s like to “be the girl” in a sexual situation with a guy. What does it feel like to be fucked? Yeah, we know the answer to that one and understand that it is such a complex thing that for those of us who like being fucked, the best we can say is, “It feels good.” The real answer is much deeper than that on the emotional side of things… and on the physical side, well, women have a G-spot… and so do guys and in the form of our prostate and, um, okay, having a hard dick – or a finger or two – in there and making contact with our prostate, um, yeah, that a weird kind of feeling that doesn’t kinda feel good but does feel good.
Because it’s supposed to feel good. It’s just that with guys, well, hmm, there’s only one way to get to the prostate and, um, ew. I think that if there’s one thing that freaks people out, this is it. Here’s the thing that makes me get that look on my face: Some guys have zero qualms about fucking a woman in the ass (if she likes it that way) but watch how they’d react if you told them they could do the same thing to a guy… and, to them, that’s different. And if you wanna think about that one for a moment, go ahead.
We are so very much stuck in that place that says that men should never have sex with each other; there’s no reason to, not with a world filled with women and, forgive me, they’re the only people we’re allow and supposed to have sex with. It’s not that we don’t know that guys have sex with other guys because, duh, we do know it but, for the life of me, I don’t really understand how we can know this, know that the rules that makes this taboo is really bullshit, but still look at it as not being bullshit. We beat our heads against a great many walls trying to figure out why a guy would want to have sex with other guys and ascribing a whole lot of reasons for it… while not giving a whole lot of thought about that hard-wired thing we’re all born with… and the thing that social conditioning seeks to suppress in us and, might I add, with not much success in that area.
We can have sex with each other… because we can – it’s not impossible. Just a very real question of whether or not a guy would want to. Some don’t, won’t, and never will… and some just do and for whatever reason that makes sense to them up to and including, “I just need to get off, ya know? I could go jerk off but that gets old after a while and sometimes barely takes the edge off… but if a guy were to suck my dick? Yeah… that’ll work. Shit, it’ll work even if he jerks me off!” To bottom-line it, it really is mind over matter and in the sense that if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
And it just freaks a lot of people out and another thing that cracks me up is that there are people – and regardless to sexuality – who are into some stuff that makes two guys sucking each other off look tame by comparison. Again, there are a lot of people who are beating their heads against walls trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with bisexuals in this and coming up with all kinds of stuff… but not looking at the root cause:
We’re human. Equipped and hard-wired to have sex and not just for the purpose of procreation. Social conditioning does everything it can to suppress this in us by imposing rules and conditions that many do, in fact, follow – and might I say, religiously so? – and the facts of the matter is that it either doesn’t get suppressed or the conditioning gets broken because as someone famous said, “Needs must.” We get… prudishly funny about boys being boys but not so much about girls being girls and, really, knowing what is known about males, who can really blame them for wanting and needing to have sex with each other? Not the way it’s supposed to happen but let’s say women are “guilty” with reason, Your Honor. But even here, the reality is for two women having sex with each other, yup – that feels pretty damned good. And if neither of them mind, it never matters.
Or, like I said to one guy, “Do you really believe that when girls have sleepovers, all the they do is gossip and sleep? And do you really think that’s all guys do when they have sleepovers? Really?”
I sometimes find myself telling folks that if they don’t know why men would have sex with each other, they surely don’t know a whole lot about men and like they think they do… but, at a higher level, if you don’t know why people can and will get into same-sex sex, um, perhaps you don’t know as much about humans as you think you do and you obviously don’t understand that the rules against such things have never been 100% obeyed. Not then and not now. One doesn’t have to if they don’t want to… but if they do? As Cityman loves to say, “Why not?”
“Why go both ways? Isn’t one way enough?“
Yes… and hell, no. Bisexuals are seen as being greedy and, yes, I heard this way back in my youth so the sentiment ain’t all that new. It implies that there is such a thing as too much sex and sexual intimacy and there are limits to how much sex one is allowed to have, conditionally or situationally. Bisexuals know this is, well, bullshit because good sex is where you find it… and you can find it with males, females, or both. Yes, if there’s some “being into” going on, all well and good but sometimes, ya just do it like this just because it can be done this way and serves the purpose. I’m horny and the guy I’m hanging with is horny; we’re both there, feeling the same way and, sure, we could go our own separate ways and go hunting for a woman who, if we’re lucky, will want to have sex with us but, then again, there’s that whole blue balls things that just does not feel good at all and, well, hmm, if we were to suck each other’s dick and make each other cum, that solves a couple of things, doesn’t it – and I won’t tell if you won’t. And if anyone asks, well, I have no idea what you’re talking about!
There are those who, again, insist that bisexuality shouldn’t be about the sex… and I very much beg to differ with them because it is about the sex and which thing takes precedence depends on who you happen to be talking to and how their bisexuality works for them. You don’t have to be all up in it for the sex alone… but you sure as hell can. It’s sex and us humans? We love our sex and some of us ain’t all that picky about who we’re having it with; a guy or a gal doesn’t matter a whole lot because sex is fun and good.
Cityman asks what it would take to remove the stigma against same-sex stuff and the answer is that we have to be able to look at sex for what it is and not the way it’s supposed to be. We have to change our collective minds about it and that’s not going to happen “all at once” but you can bet anything you care to that in every moment in every day, someone – male or female – is finding out that having sex in the same-sex mode ain’t as bad as everyone else says it is. Someone somewhere in the world is learning that going both ways doesn’t mean that they’re being greedy or any of that other bullshit – it’s just another way to have sex and added onto the way we’re supposed to.
You just gotta want to. You gotta get up the nerve and courage to take the rules and put them into a wood chipper and you really do have to know and understand that even in this, having sex is normal and natural… because if it wasn’t, we wouldn’t be having sex like this at all. I tell Cityman that the biggest stumbling block in place about this is the power of belief and that we continue to believe something that the evidence proves otherwise. Boys have sex with boys and not just because they’re gay any more than girls have sex with girls because they’re lesbians. And until we can get our collective heads around these truths, there will always be those people who won’t be able to wrap their heads around the sexual part of bisexual. Hearts not parts is all well and good…
But the parts are and can be a lot of fun to partake in.