Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Influenced

08 Sep

I was hanging out with a guy and we’d been shooting the breeze and getting caught up with each other when he changed the subject by saying, “Do you mind if I put on some porn?”

I shrugged and said, “Your house, your rules…” even though, at this time, I was very mindful of how… “fake” porn was with its annoying dialogs and equally annoying music.

He grins like he stole something and rushed to pop a tape into the VCR and made it a point to sit on the soft next to me but, you know, not right next to me. He’s giddy telling me about how he’d hear about this particular tape and that he just had to get it… and I gave myself a headache trying not to roll my eyes.

The flick starts and, shit, he’s got the volume turned up to very loud and he’s squirming in anticipation; it gets through the corny scenario and dialog (and making me wonder if shit really happened like that and probably not) and the very well hung guy is standing there with the petite and pretty girl sucking on his huge dick (which looks bigger than it probably really was because he’s a big guy and she’s really tiny and it’s a trick porn uses) and, admittedly, she’s doing a great job taking much of him in her mouth. I look over at him and his pants are tented and, to be truthful, I had a tent of my own; his eyes are glued to the screen and totally unaware that she’s talking to him about how big his cock is… with a mouthful of said big cock and I’m thinking she’s either a damned good ventriloquist or, yeah, this part of the flick was dubbed post-production.

She’s still working him over and my friend suddenly turns to me and asks, “Have you ever wonder what it’s like to do what she’s doing?”

I didn’t answer him since, um, I knew exactly what it was like to do what she was doing (but he didn’t know that) but he kept right on talking about it and, I think, didn’t even notice that I never answered him. To make things “worse,” he grabs the remote and rewinds the cocksucking scene and he’s going on and on about this woman sucking dick and how fascinated he was about it and, again – either talking to me or to himself – saying shit about what it’s like to suck cock and it really did get on my nerves and so much that I said, “If you want to know what it’s like to do what she’s doing, why not do it and find out?”

He let’s the flick continue but if you had been sitting with us, you would have felt that the mood in the room had changed; on the screen Mr. Big Dick is reaming out Ms. Petite’s coochie with gusto but my friend is still talking about the cock sucking part and, personally, I’m about to tell him I gotta go to the bathroom because things are getting… interesting in my pants and, to be honest, I got “tired” of waiting for him to pull his dick out and start jerking off so I could do it, too. But before I could say, “I’m going to the bathroom” he asks, “Hey, um, ah, do you think I could suck your dick? I really wanna know what it’s like to do it!”

At this point, I didn’t care if he found out something about me that he didn’t know… or that I just found out something about him. I got my dick out and said, “Go for it!” and he did (and while trying to do what we’d seen the woman on the screen doing) until I told him I had to cum and since he didn’t stop, I unloaded in his mouth. At this point, I very much wanted to get my mouth on him but no – now he wanted to talk about what he’d just done and including a confession that every since he started watching porn, he had always wanted to suck dick and like all the women he’d watched doing it and now that he did, it was a great weight off of his mind and I was happy for him but it would have been a great weight off of my mind if he’d stop talking so I could ask him if I could suck his dick.

I did get a chance to ask… and he said no and because he wanted to suck my dick again and, well, okay, I guess and sat back to let him have his fun and the only other fun I had was I got to jerk him off while he blew me this time and I didn’t like letting all that spunk go to waste but, okay – it was what it was. I did get to suck his dick a week later but he was just one of quite a few guys I had run across who became cock suckers because they watched women sucking dick in porn.

Some of them failed to be subtle about what they wanted to do and it would be funny to sit with a guy, the porn is playing, the woman or women are sucking dick and they’re commenting on it like we’re sitting there watching a football game… and I’m just waiting for them to pop the question and enduring them talking about “hypothetical” situations like, “Have you ever gotten so horny that you’d let a dude blow you?” and other such stuff before they’d finally get around to asking me if they could blow me since, um, you know, ya get pretty horny watching this stuff.

Then the confession that they’d been watching porn and been very curious about what it would be like but until now, never had the chance to do it… or, sometimes, trying to bullshit me into believing that they’d never done it before and I wasn’t buying any of it. But this… influence wasn’t just about sucking dick.

In another such moment, porn is playing, corny dialog and music and shitty editing; the woman is sucking on the dude’s dick and I could tell by the look on her face and the way she was doing it that she wasn’t feeling it all that much; homey, however, is talking about how good she’s sucking that dick (and I gave her a C- for her efforts) but he forgets all about that when the dude starts to ease his dick into her ass. I sneak a peek at him and his eyes are almost bulging out of his head as inch after inch of the big dick is going in there and – wait for it – he says, either to me or himself, “Man… I wonder what that feels like! Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be fucked in the ass?”

Um, no; I’ve never wondered about it because I know what it feels like but now I’m just sitting and waiting (with my dick painfully hard) to see what he’s either going to do or say next as he’s continuing to wonder aloud whether it really hurts as much as everyone says it is. The shorter version is that I had my dick buried in his ass after he asked and confessed that, like the guy I mentioned earlier, he’d always been curious about what it would be like to be fucked and have a nut busted in him and on this occasion, he was on the fence about it since he did find out that it can hurt going in and until you get used to such an invasion.

I’d meet other guys who’d say that they got into having sex with men because they watched porn – and not necessarily gay porn. One such guy pulled out a gay porn tape and I was surprised that he even watched stuff like that given how vocal he was about gay people (and not always in a good way) and as the men on the screen were doing their thing, he leans over and whispers – and like someone other than myself was gonna hear him – “I want you to do that to me, you know, if you don’t mind… and I won’t tell anybody that it happened, okay?”

Back in the day, the only porn available was either the infamous dirty books or 8mm “stag films” that required a projector and I didn’t think it was all that strange that a guy would (1) admit to swiping his dad’s dirty books and (2) wanted to do whatever he had read in the books. As I recall, there wasn’t much gay content and it was more likely that I didn’t personally see it (until I was much older) or the various dads in the neighborhood weren’t buying it but, yeah, quite a few guys got into having sex with boys because of them reading dirty books and wondering what it would be like since we were boys and not girls.

I’d sometimes run into a guy who’d eagerly say that he wanted to do something that he read in a dirty book… and would that be something I’d be interested in?

I’d have to say that porn can influence guys to want to try whatever they’re watching and reading (if there’s still stuff to be read). I remember when Penthouse was publishing a lot of erotic stories and some of them involved men having sex with each other… and guys wanting to find out what it was like to have sex with a guy and, um, sometimes, I happened to be there. To be honest, I didn’t always go along with the proposal and I knew of quite a few times when the guy going on and on about what he’d read in Penthouse wanted to ask but didn’t and I’d be glad that he didn’t or “disappointed” depending on the guy in question.

I was finding out that those who were influenced by porn to get some dick/ass weren’t always influenced in what I’d call a positive way; they’d see sex happening (gay or not) in some pretty spectacular ways and get it into their head that this is the way men/women like having sex and often with disastrous results when they found out that the person they were having sex with didn’t like being sexed like they were a porn star and especially if the sex was really rough. I remember meeting a guy and we’re sitting there with some gay porn on to, as he said, get us in the mood; this one scene starts with a guy bound and gagged and there’s this burly guy in biker leathers with the usual huge dick hanging out of his chaps; the burly guy rips off the gag and rams his cock into the guy’s mouth nice and deep… and the guy says, “Don’t you want somebody to do that to you?”

I said, “If someone did that to me, I would kill them and make sure they never found the body.” And he actually had the nerve to get upset with me, giving me the impression that he would have loved to re-enact that scene with me. We had sex… but I could tell he wasn’t happy that it wasn’t happening in the way or ways it had been happening in the porn flick. He even had the nerve to tell me that I wasn’t any fun, too.

It seems to me that a lot of guys very much get influenced watching gay porn – or regular porn – and just get it in their heads that what they’re watching is the way the sex is supposed to happen, whether it’s in a “loving” way or so rough and brutal that seeing some it has made me cringe and get a strong urge to commit a homicide. I was enduring yet another porn “warmup” and the flick had gotten to the point where the big, burly and muscular guy was fucking the smaller and more slender guy… and had him in a choke hold as he pounded the daylights out the smaller guy’s ass. The dude turns, looks at me and says, “That’s what I want to do to you!”

And I said, “I will put you in the hospital if you try it and, now that you’ve made your intentions clear, I’m leaving.”

He didn’t seem to understand why I didn’t want to get boned like that and even said, “It’s the way it should be done!” and I found that sentiment to be disturbing and more so when guys wanting to have sex and in the way they watch it via porn was becoming a thing. Sure it could be done like that but common sense kinda says that it’s not done in those more extreme ways and as a matter of course… and it probably shouldn’t be done as someone’s first experience. I remember being quite irate (an understatement) when I went to meet a guy and found out he had invited a friend because they wanted to DP me… and got stuck on stupid when I said, “Oh, hell, no!” and like I was supposed to be all for having two dicks shoved in my ass and I got that look on my face when they both said, “Well, that’s the way everyone does it!”

Um, fuck no they don’t… but it’s pretty scary to think and know that there are guys who watch porn and it’s their “instruction manual” on having sex with other men… or anyone else for that matter. Women object to porn because it objectifies them but I’m here today to tell you that women aren’t the only ones who get objectified by porn and as evidenced by the number of men who really do believe that everyone who sucks their dick wants to be choked while doing it or gagging until they barf or have it rammed down their throat and held there while struggling to breathe… and let’s not forget that a lot of guys think it’s da shit to get a facial or, wow, having someone putting quite a bit of their arm in their ass… or wanting to do that to someone.

Even on the forum, the topic of what porn guys watch – and how it influences them – comes up every so often and for some, it’s not merely jerk-off material – it’s the way they want to have sex and, I guess to them, the way men are supposed to have sex with other men. One guy talked about watching a gangbang flick and, I dunno, got it into his head that it would be lots of fun to be used by five or six or more guys… and when they haven’t even had sex with one guy or at all. They tend to ask questions about it because it’s what they can see in the porn that they’re watching. Indeed, I see clips of guys having sex with each other and, well, I wouldn’t do a lot of the shit that can be seen these days; slap me in the face with your dick – or slap me in the face period – and find out what I’m gonna do; I can guarantee you that you’re not going to like it. I’ve come across guys whose idea of having sex – and like they’ve seen in porn – is to pretty much beat the other guy into submission and, yep, I’ve made them unhappy when I’ve told them that, no, I don’t like it rough (and I don’t know why guys think that other guys do) and if you get to manhandling me and expect me to just take that shit, guess again… while you’re in the ICU and telling the doctor how you wound up there.

The influence porn has for some – or a lot – of guys is… pretty disturbing from where I’m sitting. I know a lot of women who tell a guy quick and in a hurry that if he’s thinking about doing some shit he saw in a porno with her, guess again, homey because she ain’t feeling any of that shit and you’d better not even think about trying to sneak it in, either. I know of guys who have been… confused over the fact that there was some “porno shit” they wanted to do and the person, male or female, they wanted to do it to wasn’t having any of it… because, I guess, they had it in their mind that whatever it was they saw, it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

I’ve maintained that porn is… an exaggeration of “art” trying to imitate life. It’s purpose isn’t so much to educate as it is to excite and stimulate but I know a lot of guys would partake of porn to be educated and then take whatever they’ve been watching as the de facto way to have sex with someone. Sure, they’re looking at it… but not looking at it. I’ve seen so much of it where the person involved just ain’t feeling what they’re getting paid to do – and you can see a lot of it in the amateur porn that’s flooding the Internet and it seems to me that some guys, since they don’t notice stuff like this, just think having sex in these exaggerated ways is not only fun but, yeah, that’s the way to do it and everyone is gonna be down for it…

Right up to the moment when the find out otherwise… and that’s often not pretty to be very nice about it. I remember watching a more… ineptly made flick with a guy where – again – the big, muscular, burly dude with the huge dick was going through all the positions with this guy over and over and the guy sitting next to me was… impressed with homey’s staying power to have fucked his guy for the entire hour the flick ran. I rolled my eyes and said, “You know that they edit these things, don’t you? That they film these things in segments then put them all together so that it looks like this guy has been fucking the other guy for all that time… and that’s not what really happened?”

I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t believe me and still didn’t when I used the remote to show him the many times the scene changed due to the editing that was done. He just said that I hated porn and, well, he wasn’t all that wrong about that because I know that porn is exaggerated and made to be larger than life and often in spectacular fashion. You could do it like that and porn is very good at showing the many, many ways to put A into B, C, and D… but the real questions is who’s gonna go along with some of those ways… and then consider the many men who really want to have sex the way they see it in porn.

Cityman loves to send me porn clips and it’s hard for me to watch them – and I do because I know he wants to know what I think about it – because even with the amateur stuff he sometimes sends, it’s… fake. It’s an act. Putting on a show for the camera. About as cliched as it can be and I can usually tell him how the clip is going to go and end… just by watching the opening moments of it because if you’ve seen it once, you’ve almost seen all of it. Sure, the sex is real enough but, yeah, I know it’s me but I can’t quite understand why a lot of guys use porn as a primer to having sex when I know how it’s done, which, yeah, takes the “fun” out of watching it. Would I really like a guy with a foot-long dick shoving it all the way down my throat and making sure I can’t back off? Fuck, no, I wouldn’t. Wouldn’t I love it to have that same thick, foot-long dick being hammered into my ass? Been there, done that, didn’t like it one bit but because the guy watched it being done like that in porn, it’s what he knows and taking it easy doesn’t seem to make sense to him.

Your eyes can deceive you so don’t trust them but when it comes to watching porn, some guys do trust what they see and, again, somehow get it into their heads that what they see is the way it’s supposed to be or how it’s to be done as a matter of course. Hell, yeah, a lot of guys get influenced by it and in a lot of ways and some have been influenced to the point where they’ve become cocksuckers or they find out what it’s like to be fucked and inseminated; sometimes it’s just what the doctor ordered and sometimes not even close and sometimes with very negative and damaging results to both mind and body.

Porn didn’t influence my bisexuality and, perhaps, as it has for some guys. In fact, I was doing a lot of that stuff before I even knew that those infamous dirty books existed so when I did discover and read them – and stolen from my dad, of course – there wasn’t anything I was reading that I wasn’t already doing from sucking dick to eating pussy, fucking and being fucked. But a lot of guys, even back in the day, were influenced to find out what it was like to get some dick and, really, it’s not that difficult to see and understand why they would be and given the many guys I knew of who’d see a girl sucking their dick or they’re fucking them and they’re wondering what it feels like to suck dick and/or be fucked… then get it in their minds to find out and, yep, even more so after absorbing some porn in some form.

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Posted by on 8 September 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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