There’s a… strange thing that happens when guys have bisexuality land on them and gives them that crazy craving for dick where they start thinking about which of their male friends/acquaintances would be willing to give them some and “totally” against that rule that says that friends can’t have sex with each other. It gets… crazier because in lieu of trying to figure out which of those guys might be willing to serve them up a nice helping of the high hard one, it’s easier to find someone who’s not a friend to provide it… except a lot of guys these days are nearly scared shitless about getting with someone they consider to be a stranger and I mean to the point of the onset of paranoia.
I understand it… and not so much because it seems to me that any time you meet anyone for the first time, they’re a stranger – then they aren’t. Now, they might not wind up in one’s friend’s zone but, usually and in these things, you meet a guy, get to talking about stuff, the proposal hits the table and now you find yourself in the position of having to make a decision based on whatever information you’ve obtained about this guy you didn’t know shit about before now. Okay, it’s well-known that guys will tell someone whatever they expect or want to hear in order to get them naked and have sex with them so there’s always that thing about some guys being… evasive about things that would really identify them but by and large, a guy propositions you for sex and there’s usually quite a bit of talking and learning some stuff about this guy and, yeah, the guy you really do want to avoid is the one who isn’t of a mind to talk about anything other than having sex with you.
This… situation tends to put guys into a quandary. They’d be happy to get with a friend and one they’ve known for years but, oh, yeah, that’s right – you can’t have sex with your friends! Strangers are… strange and unknown and scary and the funny thing about this is the many men who are pining away for an FWB and not, I think, really understanding that the guy they’re looking for “technically” will be a stranger to them… at first. I mean, really: Anyone you meet for the first time is going to be a stranger… then they’re not so strange depending on what, if anything, you learn about them when you’re talking to them and more so depending on what, if anything, one’s instincts are telling them or, yeah, whether or not you’re even interested in being more friendly with them.
So when I see the fellas on the forum asking whether or not they prefer to suck a friend or a stranger, wow – it can be quite the clusterfuck to sit back and watch how they respond to this one. Some prefer a friend – someone they know well – while others prefer strangers – and read this as anyone who isn’t a friend to them already or a well-known entity… but some of these guys get pretty weirded out over meeting someone new and then that “friends don’t have sex with friends” thing also tends to kick in.
I got to thinking about this one and tried to recall if I’d ever had a guy I didn’t know shit about just walk up to me, ask if we can have sex, I said, “Okay!” and without knowing a damned thing about him… and drew a blank. I’ve had guys do just that; just saunter up and after saying, “Hi!” lay the proposition on me and getting me to asking a lot of questions like who are you, where do you live and other such stuff that’s pretty damned important. Hell, one guy did this and he felt… suspect so I asked to see his driver’s license; he was a bit pissy when I told him why I wanted to see it but, yeah, not of a mind to just hop into bed with a guy without knowing some shit about him. He may or may not wind up being a friend and if he’s just looking for sex, well, okay… but still not without knowing some shit about him and that saying of not being able to bullshit a bullshitter kicks in as well since I know how to play the game with the best of them and a red flag item is a guy talking but not really saying anything other than wanting to get into my underwear.
If you can’t get someone you know well to give up the dick for you, that leaves guys you don’t know well… doesn’t it? You don’t know them so, yep, a stranger but some guys act as if the stranger remains a stranger, if that makes any sense… and I don’t think it really does. I’ve met guys for the first time; some of them I’ve learned enough about them to accept their proposal and some I’ve not learned enough about to say yes and one of those deal-breaking things is such a guy being more than hesitant to reveal anything… revealing about himself. A lot of guys hide behind the need to be discrete since many of them aren’t out but, um, if I don’t know anyone who might know you, I think being outed is off the table and I operate under the “I won’t tell if you won’t” rule to begin with.
The “overall opinion” is that the devil you don’t know is 100% a clear and present danger and without exception… and that should tell you something that’s not so good about the way some guys think and go about trying to get some dick. Most of the time, they very much want that FWB but the “guy” they have in mind, um, may or may not actually exist so, to that extent, their prospective FWB will be a stranger to them until they actually meet them and get to know as much as they need to know in order to meet their FWB requirements and, yeah, give up the dick and something that isn’t going to happen until the FWB connection has been made.
If you’re not of a mind – and read this as being afraid and paranoid – to meet guys, any potential FWB or even one-night stand will always remain… a stranger. Those who are petrified of running into the devil they don’t know shit about assume that they’re going to run into them and they’ll be sexually ravaged out of hand and without knowing or learning a damned thing about them and, nope, I’m not even trying to be facetious about that. It gets even less funny because, again, friends can’t have sex with friends… but guys are looking for that friend they can have sex with… but get to feeling some kind of way about meeting guys – and even agree to meet face-to-face – they don’t know anything about.
Weird, huh? An FWB is a friend you can have sex with… and totally against the rule that says you never, ever have sex with a friend. Which is “bullshit” because if you can’t have sex with a friend, who can you have sex with? Oh, yeah – someone who isn’t a friend and who’s probably a stranger to you since they’re not a friend or someone you already know kinda/sorta like, say, a friend of a friend.
Have I ever mentioned how funny guys can be about this? One of my “not being my idea of an asshole” things is that if you don’t have the time to talk to me, you can’t possibly have the time to have sex with me. I’ve had women hit on me for sex that I didn’t know… but you can bet whatever you want to that whether we had sex or not, I found out some stuff about them because, um, duh, it kinda doesn’t make any sense to say yes to someone just because they wanna do the nasty with you… and you know absolutely nothing about them to be able to make as informed a decision as possible. In this, sure – you’re taking a chance with the devil you don’t know but, um, you should learn something about so that they’re more like the devil you don’t know a whole lot about. Sure, people lie; nothing new about that and some people can’t lie to save their life or you’re talking to them and things don’t feel right to you and I don’t know about anyone else this behavior prompts me to do one of two things: Tell them no right off that bat or, um, if I am interested, probe for more information about them and now it’s a matter of whether or not they’re going to provide it and if they don’t, decision time but even at this point, they’re “technically” no longer a stranger because I know something about them whether it’s the truth or some lame attempt to bullshit me and, yeah, I will ask to see some ID if the bullshit gets too smelly.
I don’t know what’s going on with this particular thing. I get the need to be both safe and discrete but, again, if you can’t ask the guy you’ve known for years if you can suck his dick, um, that leaves guys who you don’t, at first, know anything about… doesn’t it? I could be wrong but I don’t think I am. Have I ever had sex with a guy who was a stranger to me? Sure I have… because I learned enough about them for them not to be all that strange. Maybe not gonna be my best friend ever but they’re no longer a stranger in that respect… but then, I tend to be rather literal about stuff like this.
Guys scream that the devil you know is pretty much gonna get you killed because strangers are chock-full of every STD known to man… and I’d like for you to really give this some serious thought and tell me if you think there’s something not quite right about this. Okay. The saying goes that it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t… but friends can’t and should never have sex with friends. It is held as true that having sex with a friend will be epically catastrophic and dangerous as anything can get… and I’d like for you to think about that one as well.
And a lot of dudes actually sit back and wonder why they’re not getting any dick… and why they can’t meet the FWB they desire so much? Another saying: You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs. That even includes opening a carton of eggs… because they still got broken. It is, in fact, impossible to make an omelet with breaking eggs but I am waiting for someone to create plant-based “eggs” that don’t need to be broken but, yeah – someone is gonna have to create them. It makes me get that look on my face to see so many guys who want all of the benefits of getting some dick… without doing a damned thing to get those benefits. Some guys are so risk-adverse that it really does border on paranoia when, um, many of the “risks” they are so afraid of can be dealt with… if they were also of a mind to deal with them.
I have a “rule” that says, “When in doubt, do nothing and no matter how bad you really wanna do it.” It’s safer. Less risky. But, um, you gotta be in the position or situation to be doubtful about what that guy who just asked you to suck his dick is saying about this… don’t you? You can set up all the preferences for this that you want to… but if you’re scared shitless to engage with someone – and someone who, at first contact, you don’t know shit about and that includes whether they’re down for this or not – where does it leave you?
Not getting any dick. Stuck in that limbo-like place where you’d better not ask your best friend for some dick… but you’d better not ask some dude who’s a stranger to give you some dick, either. One of the things I learned how to do is being able to make decisions in the moment and based on a lot of input… or a “little” input. At the very least, if the guy doesn’t “feel” right, it doesn’t matter how much I wanna get my mouth on his or have his mouth on me; the answer is, “Thanks but no, thanks” and I’ll even say, “I don’t know you well enough at this point.” But when everything feels and sounds right, okay – where are we gonna do this and always ramping up my situational awareness a few notches; as horny as the day is long… but not stupid or careless. It has yet to fail me and has worked well toward me haven gotten a lot of dick and pussy, too.
Because once I meet you and we get to talking about anything, you’re no longer a stranger – you’re now someone I don’t know a whole lot about and, oh, yeah, like I know my friends… but I’m a fast learner. Guys insist that going off and getting busy with a “stranger” in extremely dangerous and you will be infected… and I’ve never been infected. By anyone who was a “stranger” before we had sex. Might not turn out to be a friend or a even a casual acquaintance but if we’re having sex, you’d better believe that I’ve learned enough about you to make an informed decision and, oh, yeah, that’s right: I’m not afraid of the devil I don’t know… yet.
It’s an… interesting conundrum and one that, again, gets a lot of guys stuck in limbo and not getting any dick and complaining about not being able to. You’re not supposed to have sex with a friend… but if you can’t trust a friend, who can you trust? Depending on who you’re talking to, the person you should never trust is the devil you don’t know and now this whole thing turns into a circular clusterfuck… doesn’t it? Ideally, you take as much time as you see fit to get to know someone before giving up the booty to them and whether you do or not, they’re no longer a stranger, are they – just now someone you don’t trust enough and depending on what that level of trust means to you. Not a friend but not a stranger but someone you can have sex with if (1) you feel that they can be trusted and (2) you’re not horribly risk-adverse.
It is said that if you risk nothing, you gain nothing; it is also said that you can’t get something for nothing – there’s no such thing as a free lunch. I think a lot of guys are of a mind to (1) let their fears run things and (2) have already made up their mind that if they get with the devil they don’t know a lot about, the outcome will be fatally bad and in ways that, again, a modicum of common sense would work well toward things not being so… fatal. Trust, but verify is a damned thing to do but, um, you gotta be in that position to begin with… don’t you? You could hit on someone you know well but that person is very likely a friend and, oops, not supposed to go there.
I’ve often gotten into this kind of discussions with guys and have pointed all of this out to them and here comes the “Yeah, but…” part of their program where they’ll tell me that I’m right – but. It seems to me that, these days, we tend to think about every reason why we shouldn’t give up the dick instead of putting the reasons why we should give it up at the front of the line and, as such, there are a great many men craving dick like they need air to breathe… and ain’t getting any. You can’t “really” have sex with the devil you know and you’d better not even think about having with the devil you don’t know but, again, assuming that you aren’t going find out a damned thing about the devil you don’t know that will allow you to make as informed a decision as possible and given the situation…
Or maybe they’re just too afraid to. I don’t know but I am glad that I’m not one of those guys. To me, it’s like the cop who pulls you over and gives you a ticket for speeding or running a stop sign/red light and tells you that you could have killed someone. Yet, um, no one got killed and they’ll say that this is true because they stopped you before someone could be killed… and like they know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that if they hadn’t stopped you, someone would have most certainly have died.
Statistically, the cop would be right but they’re still talking about the potential of this extreme thing and along with the law being broken. Likewise, there are so many guys who’d trust a friend more than someone they just met but there’s that whole “it’ll destroy the friendship thing” that everyone talks about; it’s a real thing that can happen but the part they don’t mention so much is that the friendship doesn’t always gets destroyed and everything turns out quite nicely. For those fearful of the devil they don’t know, sure – plenty of statistical data that points to being infected in some way but the part that, again, gets overlooked is the statistical data also pointing to not being infected in some way as well.
If you’re afraid to ask a friend and afraid to ask someone who isn’t a friend, um, who can you ask? And with the answer being, “No one…” does it make any sense to bitch and moan about not being able to get what you want when you’re not really willing to do anything to get it… other than bitching and moaning about it and then, oh, man, throwing shade at those who are doing something about it either with the devil they know or they one they don’t so much… but enough to have sex and catching nothing more than some really good feelings.
All of this serves to debunk the myth that bi guys will jump into bed with anyone and indiscriminately so and with a high degree of carelessness. It just isn’t true but, yeah, some guy did this somewhere along the line and it went wrong and if one of us is guilty, all of us are… and a lot of us believe that, either way, it will go wrong and I don’t know how that makes any sense whatsoever to think like this and more so when not everyone does nor does it always goes wrong either way. It could but, um, hmm, don’t you actually have to do it to find out if it does, in fact, go wrong? I’m just asking. Yes, yes, there are lot of things in life that you don’t have to do to know it’s gonna go horribly wrong – and I’m not talking about them: I’m talking about getting dick when every fiber of your being is screaming at you to get some… and you ain’t doing shit to get any because you can’t get with the devil you do know and you’re scared to death of the devil you don’t know – yet – and like you’re never going to get to know shit about this particular devil. Ever.