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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Why It Makes Sense

03 Oct

It just popped into my head. The many times that I’ve heard someone say that dudes having sex with dudes doesn’t make sense to them. The understanding that it doesn’t make sense to them because they’re not looking at it for what it is:

Sex. I’ve said to some, “If you really know anything about men, you know what most of us think about and want to do and every chance we get. Having said that, you believe that men should only have sex with women and since you believe this, that a guy would have sex with another guy doesn’t make sense to you.”

Seriously, it’s not that difficult to figure out and make sense of. I’ve said that gay men haven’t exactly done other men any favors over the decades when so many of them were flaunting their gayness to the world and drawing even more ire towards homosexuals for their “blatant disregard” for the sensibilities of those who are of a more moral frame of mind.

It makes sense… because having sex makes sense.

The world got “shocked” to find out that there are men (and women) who have this kind of sex and they’re not gay. Gasp! Say it ain’t so! Well, it is so. The comedy of errors continued as a moral minded world – and one that had been hard at work trying to eradicate homosexuality – pretty much lost their shit and if homosexuality didn’t make sense to them, bisexuality sure as fuck didn’t… and that makes you wonder about some stuff and what it says about our willingness to believe something that the reality just flat out proves wrong.

At the root of it, it’s sex. It, uh, makes sense that humans have sex. From straight to bi to gay, people have sex. Duh. Kinda cockeyed to think that “only straight people are allowed to have sex,” right? Which, given this, it makes sense that it doesn’t make sense to discover that bisexuals and homosexuals aren’t having sex the same way straight people are but, again, we see the Great Disconnect because we are forever looking at who and not what so much. If you saw a woman sucking dick, well, nothing to see here; you see that same woman being fucked, still nothing unusual going on and the same with the guy she’s with going to town eating her. All normal. Makes all the sense in the world.

But let two guys do this and now it doesn’t make any damned sense whatsoever. Depending on who you talk to, two women doing the same thing, oddly, makes a bit more sense, you know, given men’s tarnished history with women but in either case, it grudgingly “makes sense” because they must be gay… and the shock comes to discover that, um, no, they probably aren’t gay. Now it doesn’t make sense for anyone to be so greedy and “perverted” as to have sex with both men and women.

Who does that? Well, um, more people than can be easily imagined because, again, at the root of it, it’s sex. It’s being the social animals that we actually are and something we, as a species, has been doing all along. The problem showed up the moment a bunch of people decided that any sex that didn’t make babies was just flat out wrong. Okay. That actually makes sense given how precarious life was back then and, in today’s terms, life expectancy was maybe 25 years or less given predators and illnesses for which there were no cures. And it wasn’t as if everyone wasn’t doing their part in this since, um, there are a few billion of us today but it also stands to reason that not everyone was having sex in the preferred way at all or as a matter of course and that would have been every- and anyone who was bisexual or homosexual…

Because sex, as it turns out, ain’t just for making babies. You can explain this to someone who’s of the mind that any sex that isn’t straight doesn’t make sense and, let’s say, nine out of ten times, their objections are moral ones and with that one time being someone who tried it and didn’t like it so now they’re against it and, nope, doing it didn’t make any sense… but it sounded like a good idea at the time.

If it makes sense to have allowed our morality to define and control our sexual habits and behaviors, does it not make sense that not everyone was going to go along with this? Apparently not. I recall a discussion about straight men and blow jobs and how odd this seems and I chimed in with, “Where do you think most bisexuals come from? They used to be straight and now they’re not so straight.” The truth and reality is that men have sex with other men and for whatever reason they do; it’s always been this way and it will continue to be this way because, again, at the root of it, it’s sex. Toss in the more deeper and meaningful feelings that we say must be involved for sex to take place and, well, I don’t know why it doesn’t make sense since, um, it’s the same thing straight folks do and strive for or, yes, even “turn their nose up” at depending on what having sex – or not having it – means to them.

For some, it does make sense… even if it’s something they wouldn’t do. I’ve found that these folks are easier to talk to about such things in comparison to the many people who’d rather believe what they’ve been told and not of a mind to accept the reality that sex has never been just between men and women and, oh, yeah, some of us are keen to have sex with both men and women but, ah, man, even some of us who do have some… issues with it and as evidenced by how convoluted things have gotten about bisexuality and with so many people inventing so much… stuff to, I dunno, I guess, justify the fact that not everyone is straight or gay… and to the point where the things they say doesn’t make sense to me… and I’m bisexual.

Why does it make sense? Because having sex and being intimate makes sense. It makes more sense if you can think more toward what and not who is doing whatever they’re doing. Straight folks have oral sex and fuck; so do bisexuals and homosexuals. Hmm… could there be some sensible symmetry at work here? Obviously, there is and it is bafflingly amazing that one can become aware of this symmetry… and it not make sense to them.

But we’ve been mindfucked into believing that it doesn’t make sense and that it should never make sense which I’d suppose doesn’t help some folks a whole lot in a world that’s faced with an aspect of human sexuality that, I dunno, they didn’t see coming? Didn’t take it serious? Easier to say and imply that anyone who goes both ways are really gay and, as such, it make no sense to be that way? Over the course of my life, I have been subjected to that, “Yeah, but…” thing that is often funny – and given my sense of humor – but also often disturbing at times because I can explain why I go both ways and that particular response says that they understand it… and not so much. What they believe just somehow trumps reality and if there’s something that doesn’t make sense, this would be it, I think.

I can understand and sympathize with those who tried it and didn’t like it and even if/when they gave it another try. It just isn’t for everyone, plain and simple. It’s difficult enough to get up the courage to break the social conditioning to just check it out, let alone see the sense in it since, once more, at the root of this, it’s sex and intimacy. You know, human stuff. I often think that this doesn’t make sense to a lot of people because they don’t want to make sense of it. Too much information. Not something that they’d do. And the continued belief that it shouldn’t be like this at all.

It’s so insidious that I can be sucking a guy’s dick and hear that “voice” in my head telling me that I know that I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing and in direct opposition to the certain fact that I am doing it. Duh. Silly me. Ah, but, am I having sex? Sure I am… and that makes sense; it would make more and better sense if I was having oral sex with a woman but, um, since I do that, too, it somehow just doesn’t make sense to some that I’d want to do both. They just overlook the fact that what’s really happening is… sex and because they’re too busy paying attention to who I might be having sex with.

We can get… passive-aggressive about it when those for whom this doesn’t make much sense to says, “I respect your right to be the way you are…” and that’s all well and good… but does it make sense to you and if it doesn’t – and I’ve asked this question a lot in my blogs – have you ever asked yourself why it doesn’t make sense and why it’s not something you’d do? It’s… amazing that there are folks who are into some shit that makes me being bisexual look pedestrian like – and without offense – all the folks who are very much into BDSM and how… “extreme” they can be and to the point where it freaks me out at times but, yeah, it makes sense because not only do we have sex, we don’t all do it the same way and not all sensual pleasures come from putting A into B, C, or D.

Makes sense to me because what I believe is that humans have and always will do whatever they gotta due in the pursuit of sexual pleasure and, oh, yeah, that includes having fun sleeping with both men and women and in the bisexual way of things. Which reminds me and as an aside: Why do we call it “sleeping” when there ain’t no sleeping going on? Yeah, I digress…

Because we’ve been mindfucked into believing some shit that isn’t the whole truth of things, it’s hard to see the sense in people being… sexual when they are in opposition – or downright defiance – of the way sex is supposed to be. Our morality in these things hasn’t been proof against human behaviors all that much… and we know it because we all too often talk about how it doesn’t make sense that we are the way we are about getting our cookies crumbled. Indeed, it might not be something that you’d do but, clearly and obviously, other people will because it makes sense to them and it should make sense to you as well… if you could only look at what and not pay a whole lot of attention to who.

The what that should make sense is… it’s sex. It’s intimacy. And if that “voice in your head” is saying your version of, “Yeah, but…” well, hmm. You see, a lot of folks have problems making sense of bisexuality because, simply, you’re not supposed to make sense of it. It’s actually too much shit to warrant trying to make sense of and more so in a world that still has a lot of issues about homosexuality… and because it doesn’t make sense to them and our morality has a lot to say against such behaviors. It’s the thing that makes me write at times, “Those of you who don’t suck dick/eat pussy might not understand what I’m talking about… but those of you who do, yeah, you know what I’m talking about.” Some of us knows what it’s like to do both; doesn’t matter, at a high level, why we’d enjoy doing both if you, again, look right at the root of what’s going on: Sex. Being intimate with someone. Actually something that’s in our nature and conducive to our physical and mental health and well-being.

It makes sense… if you’re not paying a whole lot of attention to who’s in bed with someone and getting their jollies; otherwise – and since being bisexual isn’t the way people are supposed to be – it doesn’t make sense and, yeah, there’s a reason why it’s said that bisexuals are greedy and conventional thinking says that it makes no sense for anyone to be so sexually greedy that they have to break some rules and dive into the taboo nature of sex. But, um, you’d think that given that there’s a lot of this going on, it would make sense that, hmm, there must be something to it but, nope. Doesn’t make sense because we’ve been told that it doesn’t and it doesn’t because it doesn’t comply with the standards of our morality but, oh, yeah, that’s right: Bisexuals are straight, too. All of this “doesn’t make sense” because when most people think bisexual, they think “gay” and, as such, that’s the only thing they’re paying attention to and, strangely, it “makes sense” that people are either straight or gay… and now you should really be wondering about our overall mental state because if that makes sense, um, should people being both make sense?

For many, it doesn’t. They cannot see that at the root of it, it’s not only sex but the same sex everyone else is having and regardless to sexuality. The only real difference is who we’ve having sex with and for bisexuals, eh, who doesn’t matter when it comes to men or women because because both are and can be fun to have sex with. How does that not make sense and more so if you know that humans are sexual animals?

It has always amazed and baffled me to hear people say, “That shit don’t make no damned sense at all!” and undertaking the task to find out why it doesn’t make sense to them. It’s sex. Not exactly in the prescribed way and because it’s definitely in the more… taboo areas like men doing men and women doing each other since, um, you know, it’s sex. Which, if you understood that, should make sense… but, strangely, it doesn’t.

Our morality doesn’t exactly have it wrong; it just isn’t allowing the whole truth to be accepted and the truth is that human sexuality is… faceted, for lack of a better word. Straight. Bi. Gay. Sometimes “other” and “none of the above.” Go figure. It’s still sex. It’s still being intimate whether emotionally, physically, or both and not different from what anyone else is doing unless, of course, they’re doing nothing at all about this but we’re not talking about them.

And having sex makes sense… doesn’t it?

 
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Posted by on 3 October 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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