I was sitting next to a naked “Chad,” who was very nervous about going forward with his first sexual experience with a guy. I knew he’d be nervous so when we got undressed and he asked if we had to jump right into it, my response that said we didn’t came right out as well as reminding him that when we talked about this, I had made it very clear that not only did he not have to go through with it if he thought he couldn’t, once things got going, he could call it off at any time, for any reason, and it wouldn’t be a problem.
It was… curious to watch him go through the gamut of emotions; his words were saying one thing and his body was saying something else as his cock, seriously engorged with blood, was moving in time with his rapidly beating heart. Ah, man… this moment of truth moment is never easy for some guys to get past, that internal battle with themselves that says, on the one hand, that they want and need to do this and, on the other, what the fuck have I gotten myself into? I knew this was going on inside of him because he kept asking me if I was upset – or if I would be upset – if he called it off and I didn’t make things easy for him by repeating that I wasn’t upset and I wouldn’t be.
So when he said that he didn’t understand what the big deal was about this, I knew he was on the verge of doing one of two things: Calling it off or saying, “Fuck it…” to himself and it was going to be on. I had responded to what he said since there was a question in there that wasn’t in the form of a question and beginning with, “You mean outside of the fact that it’s sex? The big deal, other than that, is that it’s… naughty. Being a bad boy. Going against all the rules that have forever said that men don’t have sex with each other even though one understands that the reason why there is a rule against it is because men do, in fact, have sex with each other.”
Chad continued to just sit and think; his dick was, I thought at this point, painfully erect and I could see him “shivering” as if he was cold. He was still very much at war with himself but it was a war that he was going to have to resolve for himself. He had asked, “What if I don’t really want to be a bad boy?” and I responded by saying, “Then you don’t want to. You don’t have to. It’s okay if you don’t and before you ask, no – if you don’t wanna be a bad boy, I’m not going to be upset about it or think poorly about you. It’s like I told you: Either you can… or you just can’t. If you can’t, we can just sit here and talk and we can even get dressed if that’ll make you comfortable. This isn’t a decision I can make for you but I will go along with whatever you decide and as promised.”
He sat and continued to think and, yes, squirm. I admitted to myself that I was a bit amused thinking that his dick and balls had to be pitching a royal bitch at this point given that he was totally hard from the moment I arrived, we got undressed, and just sat here and that was almost an hour ago at this point. While it truly didn’t matter to me if he wanted to go forward with this or not, I wasn’t going to “make the call” for him, well, not yet; there’s a point in this very disturbing moment when it becomes… prudent for me to say that we’re not going to do this given how disturbed things are as well as staying true to what I had told him over the many times we talked about this: The final decision is yours to make. So all I had to do, all that I was going to do, was wait to see what Chad was going to do even though I had a fairly good idea about that.
Then came the moment he made the decision. I heard him mutter to himself, “Fuck it…” and I would have laughed to myself had it not been for the fact that he uttered those two fateful words an instant before he shoved me onto my back and swooped down to cover my dick with his mouth. It was on at this point and, if past experience is any real indication of future behavior, once he started sucking me, he wasn’t going to stop. The only thing I did to “disturb” him was to get more comfortable on his bed and “urging” him to move so that I could get at his dick and fulfill my part of both the bargain and his fantasy of sucking a man’s dick while having his sucked at the same time.
Ten minutes later, we both lay there gasping like the proverbial fish out of water and I had that moment of thought that was about whether or not he had fibbed to me about this being his first time ever because he sucked my dick like he’d been at it for as long as I had been but that was, in reality, that “weird” thing that says if you can see yourself doing a thing in your mind, you can probably do it in actuality. He had told me about the many times he had gotten himself off thinking about the very thing we’d just got finished doing and I was already getting ready to answer the next set of questions I had good reason to expect and he didn’t disappoint in that regard when he asked, “Did I do it right?”
“You most certainly did!” I said. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” he said. “I’m, wow, holy shit, that was fucking amazing! I don’t know if I’ve ever cum so hard before!”
I didn’t know if he had either but what I did know was how much spunk he had pumped into my mouth and how strongly he did it, just as I knew I hadn’t gotten all of it since we were still lying side by side and I could see the last bits of his cum oozing out so, yeah, I had to make it disappear by gently covering his knob with my mouth and using my tongue to gently swipe it away and feeling pretty “evil” to feel his body shudder as I did it. No need in letting it go to waste.
“How do you feel?” I asked him; experience had taught me that if a guy is going to have a bad moment, now is the time it’s going to hit him and pretty hard, too. My asking him was also part of the deal since I had told time, almost at every turn during our talks, that I was going to ask him how he felt whether we went through with it or not and how important it was for me to ask… so I asked.
“I feel like a bad boy,” he said while barely suppressing a giggle. “I feel so… naughty, you know? Like I did something bad but it was so much fun to be bad? But you probably knew that already, huh?”
“Yeah, I did but the question is still valid,” I said. “Some guys realize what they just did and, as I had said, just freak the hell out and I have a responsibility to not let you freak out even if you wind up going through something like that later.
“I appreciate that,” he said. “I wasn’t sure if I could go through with it but, shit, I wanted to – does that make sense?”
“It does,” I said. At this point and since we were talking, making eye contact with him was the thing I should have been doing but, um, his dick was still right there in my field of vision and, um, his cock looked rather nice being soft, that and in order for me to look him in the eye, I would have had to move and he’d done such a number on me that I just didn’t feel like moving. Chad’s talking about… something and I wasn’t paying attention all that much because my mind had already fast-forwarded to getting his dick in my mouth again. I felt… bad about that and was about to ask him what he had said when he “saved” me the embarrassment by asking, “Are you sure you want to do this again?”
“Are you sure?” I asked. “You ready to be a naughty bad boy again?”
He was… and so was I. Less urgent than the first time but not by a whole lot. I wouldn’t say that we “lovingly took our time with each other” the second time around but it took some time for the both of us to suck each other hard so that we could spill into each other’s mouth again and, yeah, wow, he must have been “saving it up” because he delivered even more spunk than he had the first time… or so it seemed.
Chad was… bubbly. Speed rapping as we used to call it when someone was talking so fast that you couldn’t really understand what they were saying but I didn’t fail to hear or understand him saying how “deliciously naughty” he was feeling. I understood all too well how he felt since every time I’ve sucked a guy’s dick, I’ve felt amazingly naughty and like the baddest boy ever. He was hilarious when he said, “Who knew this could be so goddamned good? Oh, shit, what am I saying? You knew and now I know! Damn! Um, do you think we can go one more time for the road?”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure that I could… but nothing beats a failure but a try, right? It took a long time for us to get hard enough to be able to cum and even longer for our bodies to, at the least, go through the motions of cumming but, as Chad had said when he came up for air for a moment, “Who knew that sucking a soft dick could still feel nice and naughty? Oh, yeah – I keep forgetting that you already knew this…”
I was beyond spent and, to be honest, I had been having a hard time staying awake after the second time we got each other off and having barely managed it a third time? I was ready for a nap and I knew I had to move my ass before I nodded off. I started to move and say something to Chad when I heard him… snoring. Well, damn. It was fine since he was at home and in his own bed and it was all I could do to sit up before I wound up taking that much-needed nap myself. I sat up – a bit too quickly – and suffered through the room spinning like an out of control top before I felt steady enough to get to my feet and stumble to Chad’s bathroom so I could splash some water on my face which helped me fight the urge to curl up next to Chad and catch a few Z’s. When I returned to the bedroom to look for my clothes, Chad was awake and trying to sit up; he saw me and started grinning, which told me that he wasn’t going to be bothered by this going forward.
“Now I know what the big deal is,” he said after returning from his trip to the bathroom. “I can’t get over how normal it felt to do this and, you’ve probably heard this before but I’ll be damned if I know why I never did this before now!”
“Yep, I’ve heard it before,” I said with a laugh. “It’s pretty normal for guys to say something like that because if they had any doubts about it before the fact, those doubts become moot after the fact and when they realize that the only thing that actually happened is that they had sex and got off and nothing has really changed about them other than maybe wanting to do it again.”
“I couldn’t get it up now if my life depended on it,” he said, which made me laugh even more.
“I wasn’t talking about right now – I meant doing it again some other day or time!” I said. “How do you feel?”
“Tired. Drained. Naughty. But that’s what it’s really about, ain’t it? Being a bad boy and doing something men ain’t supposed to do and let alone like doing?”
“Pretty much,” I said. “It’s ‘just sex’ at the end of the day. Giving and getting sucked off and having fun doing it. Doesn’t mean that you’re gay – and that’s something some guys get to thinking about – but it does mean that you care enough about your sexual pleasure to not let the rules get in the way all that much.”
“I think I understand,” he said. “You were right – this was pretty scary and you were right when you said that I’d either keep being scared or just stop being scared about it. Hah, you really do know some shit about this, don’t you?”
“I should since I’ve done this many times before,” I said and I wasn’t bragging about it – just stating a well-known fact. “You wanted to do this, to find out what it was like and, yeah, to find out what the big deal was – is – about it… and now you know.”
“Yeah… and I can’t wait to do it again,” Chad said. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
We met again the next day for more of the same and it was a very different Chad that met me at the door and beginning with the mildly shocking fact that he answered the door buck naked and with his dick standing at attention. We didn’t make it to his bedroom; after peeling me out of my clothes, we went for it right there on his living room floor and getting that first nut sucked out of me was as mind-blowing as it gets as Chad fairly attacked me and took so much pleasure from feasting on my dick as well as pumping his dick in and out of my mouth. My goodness… they learn fast, don’t they?
He took me by the hand and led me to his bedroom, telling me that he had been jumping out of his skin waiting for me to arrive so he could taste and feel me in his mouth again and I admitted to feeling the same way myself. Halfway through round two, Chad stopped sucking me and pulled away from me and kinda surprised me by asking, “Can we fuck each other? I wanna be such the bad boy with you…”
I had anticipated this, well, kinda to the point where I was prepared for it. He took me from the back and it was so good that I was a bit disappointed when he shot his load into me; his dick felt so good inside me that I wanted him to “fuck me forever” but the reality of the moment dictated otherwise.
“My turn,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Stick it in me and make me feel very bad and naughty!”
After confirming that this is what he really wanted to do, I lubed us up and, in the time-honored missionary position, slid into him, watching him closely as I did so for any signs of distress. We had talked about it and had tabled it and now here I was slowly thrusting into him as he clung to me; I could feel his dick between our bodies and felt… jealous that he could get hard while being screwed and something I very rarely had happen to me. He moaned and groaned; he egged me on to fuck him, to make him the baddest and naughiest boy ever and to stop playing around and cum inside of him… so I did even though I wanted to stay inside of him “forever” and not end this moment… but the power of suggestion had other ideas.
I laid within his embrace breathing hard and waiting for my foggy brain to clear up; I looked down at him and he had such a dreamy look on his face. He opened his eyes and looked back at me and, well, that just made the moment more… complete. “Don’t move,” he whispered to me. “Stay where you are if you can.”
Not that I was going anywhere since he still had his legs wrapped around my waist and hips. We just stayed like that for a very long moment before he asked, “You know what I like about this?”
“What’s that?” I asked – and because I had no idea what he was thinking about.
“I like being fucked more than fucking, not that fucking you wasn’t nice,” he said. “This is what I was meant to do, I think, and it made me – you made me – feel as bad and as naughty as I realize I want to feel so thank you for this.” Then he lifted his head up and gave me a little kiss on my lips, which felt weird but also felt… right. I surprised myself by returning his kiss and, wow, my dick was starting to harden inside of him! He felt it, too, and smiled and said, “Yes… fuck me again because I need to be a very naughty boy…”
What’s the “big deal” about all of this? It’s sex. Being naughty. A bad-boy rule-breaker. Being intimate and as physically close to another person as humanly possible. It’s also about finding yourself, too, and in the two days spent with Chad was not just about the sex but very much about him finding himself and just being human. Not straight or bi or gay. Being human.