Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Urge

15 Nov

Yep, right back to talking about sucking cock since a forum member wrote a post and looking for advice on how to deal with the urge and where the hell did it come from in the first place. Make yourself comfortable: This is gonna take a while to get out of my head.

Somewhere in our evolution as males, two guys “figured out” that they could have sex with each other and probably because way back then, men would go out on hunting parties that would last for days on end while the womenfolk stayed home and handled all of that. And, at some point, two guys found that if they put their mouths on each other’s cocks, well, damn! All of this, most likely, took place way before mankind created religion and given that the life expectancy way back then was pitifully short – whatever you were hunting as prey could easily make you their prey along with fatal accidents occurring – yeah, it made sense for “priorities” to be set and adhered to without exception and under pain of death since two males spilling their seed into each other wasn’t making any babies. Okay, fine. It is what it is and continues to be… but as males, we learned something and something that I believe – but cannot prove – became a part of our genetic memory or, as I’ve written before, just like that landmark experiment with flatworms.

The researchers taught a flatworm a trick and once the flatworm got it “down pat,” they chopped the poor thing up and fed it to other flatworms… and was floored to see that the other flatworms could do the trick that the original one was taught and as if they were doing it all along. We’re not flatworms… but this comparison makes the most sense to me; two guys learned it, taught other guys how to do it and, well, we all know how to do it and, importantly, I think, can have a very powerful urge to do it since much of it is also tied to our biological and hard-wired need to have sex and “sow” our seeds… and we don’t necessarily have to do that with women.

Move forward a whole lot of centuries. Gay men, those immoral heathens, were insisting that they were born this way and I had learned and “figured out” that they weren’t totally wrong about this even though they’d also insist that they had no choice in their sexual preference and orientation. I figured out that, if nothing else, we’re all born with the potential to not be so heterosexual in our sexual behaviors but you do have to choose what, if anything, you’re gonna do about the way you’re feeling. The gay men also had it wrong because some guys… get into dick and “being born this way” had nothing to do with it and the moral restrictions just get disregarded out of a sense of necessity. As such – and probably because it was a “trick” that’s a part of our genetic memory as males – a guy can either have the urge to suck cock or intelligently decide that sucking some dick just is what he needs to do – and no matter how or why he came to such an immoral conclusion.

The urge is and can be… pretty damned powerful. Not that easy for all men to ignore but a lot of men do… and a lot more men don’t and just can’t. Those who do not suck cock don’t always understand why (1) women would do that to begin with and (2) why men would want to given the forbidden nature of it. They mistakenly and, perhaps, “ignorantly,” don’t understand that while our morality about these things is what it is, it has never been able to stand up against human nature because if this was as true as they say it should be, um, there wouldn’t be men sucking each other’s dick and with glee and relish.

Lord only knows how many men I’ve come across who has been confused and befuddled over why they have this urge to do something that’s not supposed to be done. I learned, along the way, that there are… external issues that can come into play that just somehow makes all the sense in the world to find a guy, get the dicks out, and suck them until the cum flows… and then, if those guys experienced it, be even more confused and baffled because sucking that dick just felt right, normal, and natural… and 110% against the prohibition to do it.

You’ve seen me spend an inordinate amount of time trying to explain what I’m thinking and feeling when I’m sucking on a guy’s cock… and I am embarrassingly inept at it even though I know exactly what I’m thinking and feeling and, yes, I’m even thinking about the fact that I shouldn’t suck dick, let alone enjoy it any more than I should allow and enjoy another man sucking me… while knowing that, again, moral imperatives can and tend to lose when human nature “demands” that the rules should be kicked to the curb when that stupidly powerful urge to suck cock comes into existence – and, again, no matter what triggered the urge to begin with.

Some of us found out about this in our youth. Okay. Experimentation time. “Easily” explained but, eh, not so much since the classical explanation – raging hormones – don’t really get right down to the root. Moral conflicts occur and either morality and the fear of great punishment and prejudice rules the day… or it doesn’t because for some damned reason, sucking dick makes sense or, as I like to say, it’s deliciously nasty and a lot of fun to do something that’s not to be done. Now, I’ve gotten all into that oral fixation thing that I also believe plays into this but where does this urge come from? Why is it that there are men who would rather jump into a volcano are “suddenly” deciding that they need to suck cock? Now, whether they come (no puns yet) to like the shit out of it or not depends on some stuff but many a newbie who has sucked my dick – and despite that moral prohibition being planted deep in the minds – has said that they knew they weren’t supposed to do it… but they had to and, nope, didn’t understand why and, well, sorry dude – I don’t understand it either and I’ve, um, I’ve sucked a few dicks in my time.

I used to say that no man wakes up one morning and decides that today is a good day to suck a dick… and I had to admit that I was wrong about that and, worse, I didn’t know what made me wrong in my early assessment but, yep, I was wrong about that and now I had to rethink all of this and, in those early days, I was coming (still no puns) up with more questions than I was finding the answers to although I was seeing where differing kinds of emotional stress could pile up on a guy to make him say that, you know, today is a good day to find out what this dick sucking thing is between men.

I’d wind up saying and confessing that I really don’t know where this damned urge comes from… but I know it exists and it is very damned real; it wasn’t all that “hard” (still no puns) to intuit that if I knew this urge was constantly kicking my ass, there was no way that I was the only guy in existence who were trying to deal with it whenever it showed up for them. Guys ask why is it so damned satisfying to suck cock and swallow cum… and I know why… but I don’t know why… and I do know that it is very damned satisfying. Oral fixation can explain some or a lot of it but, nah, not completely but it always “suffices” to say that despite it being immoral, sucking dick and swallowing semen feels good… because it’s supposed to and the urge to do it just is what it is and now it’s all comes (yeah, you know) down to whether a guy is going to give into the urge or ignore it. For men who have the urge but haven’t been able to “answer the call,” many of them speak to how utter frustration it is to not be able to suck cock and especially married men.

One such guy told me, “Man, this shit is eating me alive inside!” and I felt so sorry for him but I also understood exactly what he meant; the urge to suck cock is powerful and almost beyond belief but being the ever-curious person I’ve always been, trying to get to the root and that thing or things that, when observed, explains it once and for all has been, um, not easy but since I felt that wanting to have sex with a man is just a part of the nature of the beast – being male and human – well, it’s the only thing that makes sense, well, to me and the only thing standing between giving into the urge is… our morality, which is also “strong with The Force” and can make the most eager cocksucker-to-be sit on the porch and do nothing… and get eaten alive by it one tiny piece at a time.

Then it gets worse because the urge can never really be satisfied. Guys suck cock for the first time and now they find themselves dealing with an even greater urge: Suck more dick. Don’t let anything stop you from sucking more dick. Any dick will do. Guys have asked me about this and I have told them, “I have no idea why this is… I just know it is.” That’s the short version and even a little white lie because I have a fair to middling idea why it is so damned compelling but, yeah, it’s just too much brain power trying to make total sense of it, let alone explain it – and as I’m doing here – without sound like I’ve lost whatever mind I have or had.

The people who’d hate on us because we suck cock, well, they don’t get it. Again, they firmly believe that the tenets of our morality should be proof against such urges and I’m thinking they really need to wake up and get to snorting the coffee because, obviously, it ain’t working and it’s never worked. I have opined that this prohibition was put in place to stop a behavior that was “running rampant” in the first place; to me, it just didn’t make sense that our morality was written the way it was to stop or prevent something from potentially happening, you know, like heading something off at the pass. No: It was written to stop men from having any kind of sex with each other because it wasn’t making babies – and I’ve read a lot of stuff written by experts in the field that supports my “theory” of why our morality says what it does about it.

The urge just is. It either shows up in our youth – that “I was born this way” thing – or there are other life events that happens to, literally, wakes the “sleeping giant” that just lives inside of us. A guy says, “I know I wouldn’t like doing that!” and, okay, how do you know you wouldn’t? Oh, that’s right: You were told not to ever do it or like it. But then and for some reason, they wind up doing it and, holy shit: Why didn’t I do this before now? A lot of guys experience some “culture shock” because they just found out that all that shit they were told about this – and believed – wasn’t quite right. All that noise about such things being abnormal sexual behavior was also not all that right and as evidenced by the many men I personally heard say that sucking my dick felt… normal and natural.

Well, now – one of those things can’t be right… and I’ve been of a mind that it’s our morality that isn’t right. I understand – or I think I do – why our morality is the way it is about this but, again, even I learned that human nature has a hell of a lot more power than our morality can bring to bear. It reminds me of the old joke where a woman somehow wound up being naked and one guy says to the other not to look because if he does, he’s going to be blinded… and the other guy says that he’d risk one eye. And very likely because he can’t not look… so it kinda stands to “reason” that a guy being hammered by the urge does reason that it’s worth the risk and punishments that are attached and promised – and carried out in some cultures – to give into the urge and suck cock and acquire the taste.

Because it feels pretty damned good to do that. Many men – and myself included – find it to be horribly satisfying and more intimate than having that cock in our backside. Oral fixation? Probably… but maybe not the “whole answer” of why giving into the urge feels as good as it does and, yeah, provided there’s no external drama spoiling things. I’ve learned that the urge can be so bothersome that we wind up jumping through a lot of hoops and concocting some stuff that, at the individual level, justifies giving into the urge even when so many of us have no idea why we get it in the first place. You either give into it or you don’t. It’s either the greatest sexual thing you’ve ever done or it isn’t. The urge seems to… fuck with some men in that they might experience it for the first time, just flat out hated it and have vowed to never do it again and the urge seems to go away… then it returns and its return ain’t even mild or timid and it really does tend to fuck some guys up and in some not-so-interesting ways… unless you happen to be like me and sitting back taking copious notes.

As you can see, the urge is very real and very damned powerful… and I can’t really explain why it is – I just know that it is. I feel it even as I’m writing this. I know/knew a lot of guys who have been bitch-slapped by it and, yeah, seemingly out of nowhere and if they wound up sucking dick, getting even more bitch-slapped by a lot of other things on top of, shit, that made me feel so goddamned good… and it wasn’t supposed to… but it did. What the fuck is going on with this shit?

I dunno. I just know that it is. It’s a part of us that gets awakened early on or lies dormant and waiting for something to happen that provides the wakeup call. Sometimes, it never gets awakened and, nope, no idea why it doesn’t but a lot of men just never get a whiff of the urge and maybe, for them, the moral prohibitions do serve to keep human nature at bay. I’m just the cocksucking bi guy who’ll tell you that not all men are immune to this… and I greatly expect that not all women are immune to the urge to be that intimate with other women since, um, way back in the day, one woman said to another, “You wanna do something cool? Lie down and let me show you something…” and that’s just as much a part of female genetic memory as the urge men get to get some dick but in any of this, it’s all about having reasons or other causes because accepting that it’s a part of our nature is a bit much to swallow (okay, pun intended this time). It is too much like right; it’s too “simple” an answer because there just has to be some other reason why I’d gleefully want to take another man’s dick in my mouth and work it over until he cums… then swallow it.

And I honesty believe that there is no other reason. The morality gets shoved to the side because the urge “demands” it. Human nature’s version of, “Do it, or else!” and the “else,” for many men, is having to go through a lot of mental effort to keep warding off the urge. A lot men who feel it really do want it to go away and leave them the hell alone… only to be told – and to find out – that, nope, it’s not going anywhere and it’s “content” to sit back in the cut and wait for its moment to bitch-slap the hell of out them and get them sucking dick. Why? Still don’t know why and I’ll never find out…

I just know two things. It’s real and it is powerful and hard to resist. Giving into it – even as an experiment – will either give it more power or, bleh, tried it and it was okay or it wasn’t – keep it moving but even in some of these guys, they will grudgingly admit that the urge to do it again is hiding out in the back of their minds and poking at them to find a dick and suck it and the sooner, the better. So disturbingly right in its wrongness. Makes the guys who said they’d never do it do a lot of backpedaling because they did it and trying to convince themselves that they didn’t like it while knowing that they did or trying to downplay the fact that they liked the shit out of it. Blame it on the alcohol. Being “weak” to have given into the urge.

Unwilling to accept that the urge to suck cock is deeply imbedded in us because way back when, two men figured this out and other men learned this “trick,” too. In modern times, consider to be a gay thing to do and, if you wanna be “technical” about it, sure – it’s a gay thing… but not all men who suck cock are gay, are they? So much for gay men owning this 100%, huh?

Sigh. We – men – suck cock because we see reason to and the urge just wakes up – on its own or is made to wake up – and whispers in our “ear,” “You need to suck cock. Do it as soon as you can make it happen and the sooner the better.” Hey, Billy – you wanna do something cool? Lemme see your dick and I’ll show you!” And I will never know why this is beyond what I think I know about the urge…

And understanding that I could be wrong… and that I might not be.

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Posted by on 15 November 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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