Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Man, If I Was Gay…”

16 Nov

“…I’d let some dude blow me,” the acquaintance I was hanging out with said – and out of the blue.

My eyebrows crawled up into my braids in a flash and I had that “what did he just say” look on my face as my eyelids were blinking so fast it was like looking at him with a strobe light flashing. Prior to this, we had been talking about the NFL games played the day before and other “mundane” stuff and while sitting on my steps and doing some people watching.

As my eyebrows “returned” to their proper place and my eyelids settled down – all that strobing was making me dizzy – and while waiting for him to explain this abrupt and unexpected change of topic, I was wracking my brain to think of any time I’d heard – or had heard of – him making such a statement. In a way, I shouldn’t have been all that surprised because that year, 1977, was a whirlwind of guys deciding that having sex with a dude was the thing to do and more so when there was a pointed lack of pussy and guys would have a lady today… and not have one the next day.

The silence after his announcement was deafening and I mentally slapped my forehead to realize that he was waiting for me to say something about what he said so I said the first thing that came to mind:

“Who says you have to be gay to have that done?”

“Um, because that’s what gay dudes do,” he said and looking at me with a look that suggested that I might not have known this… or that wasn’t the response he was expecting.

“I know but that doesn’t mean you have to be gay; all you gotta do is want a guy to blow you,” I said.

“And how do you know that?” he asked.

“Because I know stuff,” I said, giving him a rather indignant look. “I’m smarter than the average bear!”

“And?” he prompted. Yeah, shit, how do I respond to this and should I?

“Okay, okay, I’ve had guys suck my dick… and I’m not gay,” I said, mentally crossing my fingers as well as feeling my flight or fight thing immediately jumping to standby mode. If this was gonna get ugly, I’d be ready for it.

“No shit? What was it like?” he asked – and making me relax a bit.

“Honestly? Better than the head I’ve gotten from women,” I said.

“Did they get you off?” he asked.

“They sure did,” I said. “And they swallowed it, too.”

“But they were gay, right?” he asked.

“Uh, no, not all of them were,” I said. “So, no – you don’t have to be gay to want or let a guy suck your dick; you just gotta want him to do it, you know, if you can get your head around it.”

He sat there for a long moment and I was feeling some… trepidation because I could almost guess what his next question was going to be but since I had already fessed up that guys had blown me, it was one of those “in for a penny, in for a pound” moment which also included how I was going to respond when he would eventually get around to asking The Question and flipping a mental coin over whether he was gonna ask The Question or not.

“So, um, so does that mean that you’ve sucked dick, too?” he asked and I gave myself a pat on the back for correctly guessing that he was gonna ask me that.

“Yeah, I have and before you ask, more than once or twice, okay?” I replied.

“But you’re not gay…” he said.

“Not even,” I answered. I’m kinda on pins and needles for a couple of reasons at this point in the conversation. I’m waiting for him to ask The Question while going through some shit in my head, not about how I was gonna answer it but whether or not I really wanted to suck his dick and if it would turn out to be a big mistake. On the one hand, it was one of those boring Monday afternoons; I’d been out that morning following up on the job applications I had put in and with that bit of business done, I didn’t have anything else pressing to take care of and, um, when I get bored, I want to have sex… but my inner voice of wisdom suggested that I not put the cart before the horse.

“Hmm,” he said. “What’s it like to suck a dude’s dick?”

Well, that wasn’t the question I was expecting so I had to switch gears; I spent maybe five minutes trying to answer his question and felt myself frowning – but not intentionally – because while I knew exactly what it was like, I was beginning to understand that I wasn’t all that good at explaining it other than it makes me feel good and it feels good to do it. As I stumbled through my answer, he just nodded to himself and staring at… something, which told me he was deep in thought and I was thinking – and kinda hoping – that he was thinking about how he was gonna ask me if I’d blow him. The horny bastard that lived in my head was starting to get excited over the prospect of getting his dick in my mouth while the “angel and part-time devil” who also lived there was reminding me that he was still an unknown element.

The neighborhood grapevine was a good one and better than most; if The Word – and about anything – got out on someone, it was pretty damned accurate and a quick search told me that I hadn’t heard anything about him where this was concerned; no rumors, no innuendos – nothing. I knew him… but I didn’t know him. Now, you might think that we were sitting there for a really long time waiting for the other shoe to drop – and it felt like it to me – but, in real time, we’d only been sitting there in this quiet moment for about a minute.

“Damn, man, that’s, ah, hmm, that’s something,” he said and breaking the silence. When he kinda shifted his position on the step and cleared his throat, I knew The Question was coming and I even took a moment to ask myself why I was so sure that he was going to ask it… and got a busy signal for an answer. Okay. He’s getting ready to ask it… but how I am going to answer it? I didn’t have some great urge to blow him but the horny bastard was poking me and reminding me that I didn’t have anything else do to so if he asks, just say yes, take him inside, and suck his dick. And he didn’t “disappoint.”

“So, um, um, let’s say that if I asked you to suck me off, you wouldn’t get bent out of shape about it, would you?” he asked.

Okay – The Question Before The Question.

“No, I wouldn’t,” I said. “I mean, why would I when I’ve told you that I’ve sucked dick before?” Jesus… stop dicking around and just ask me what you know you wanna ask me already! I actually hated this part, having to sit and wait for the guy to make up his mind to ask and, in many of the more recent situations, get up the nerve to ask it by dancing all around the matter to avoid just coming out and asking.

“Cool. So, ahem, so it wouldn’t matter if, let’s say, you sucked me off but I didn’t do the same to you?” he asked.

“It does but I’m used to that,” I said. “You don’t have to if you can’t but if you think you can, okay.”

“What if I did but I wasn’t, um, good at it?” he asked.

“I appreciate a guy who tries more than I do a guy who won’t try,” I said with a shrug. “If I’m still being honest – and I am – some of the best times when I’ve been sucked has been by guys who give it a try than those guys who were really good at it.”

“Oh. Okay, I see. So, um…” he began… and my patience had finally come to an end.

“If you’re gonna ask me if we can do this, the answer is yes: We can do this if you want to,” I said and trying to keep the irritation out of my voice while kicking my ass over the thought that I might not have succeeded at that. The horny bastard was losing its mind while the angel/part-time devil was rolling its eyes and reminding me that if this went wrong, don’t say I wasn’t told that it might.

He blinked and I had no idea what he was thinking about until he asked, “And it doesn’t mean that either of us is gay, right?”

“Right. It doesn’t. I know I’m not gay and I’m pretty sure you aren’t and, no, if we do this, I’m not gonna say anything to anyone about it,” I said. Well, that was a little white lie because I’d have to tell my wife because it was part of the agreement we made to have an open marriage – but he didn’t need to know that.

“Okay, cool, so (clearing his throat), if I wanted to do it now, that would be cool?” he asked.

“It would be; I’m here by myself for the day,” I said.

He just nodded. Now for part one of the moment of truth: Him saying that he wants to do it right now.

“I’m down… because, man, I haven’t busted a nut in a long time and, well, shit, I guess I’ve always wanted to give it a try, you know, if you really don’t mind?” he asked… and I had had enough of this pussy-footing and beating bushes to death.

“Come on in,” I said, getting to my feet and turning to open the screen door. I didn’t even bother to wait or see if he was going to follow me inside; either we were going to do this or we weren’t. I held the door for him without looking back at him but, yep, he was right behind me. I went to the living room, turned to look at him and pointed to the sofa to invite him to take a seat.

“So, uh, uh, what do we do now?” he asked.

“This,” I said. I sat next to him and went right to unfastening his pants and extracting his dick and, oh, my – did he have some dick or what? He wasn’t even hard but it wasn’t all that easy getting him out of his pants and I think he realized that because he raised up and slide his pants and underwear down. I looked at him with a look that said, “Last chance to change your mind!” and he just kinda nodded… and I fell on his dick like I was starving – well, after I gave his dick a good looking at to make sure he didn’t have any sores or anything like that on his dick and giving it a pump to make sure what came out of the head of his dick was crystal clear.

He gasped and even shuddered as I went for all of that dick in one gulp; I heard him say, “Oh, shit! Oh, shit!” as I buried my face in his crotch and the horny bastard was howling like crazy as I pulled back and started to suck him in earnest and with great intent. His dick tasted kinda soapy and salty; the hot and musky scent of him smelled clean and pleasantly “funky;” his dick was now fully hard and taking up space in my mouth but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.

I’m working him over and the horny bastard is insane to see and hear him responding to what I was doing to him… right up until the moment he said the word I didn’t want to hear.

“Wait, wait – stop! Just stop for a moment!”

And I stopped, letting his dick fall out of my mouth and not being happy about having to stop. “Are you okay?” I heard myself ask.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay… but I wanna suck your dick, too!” he said.

I was out of my pants and underwear so fast that I didn’t remember getting rid of them. We got arranged on the sofa so we could suck each other and I went right back to sucking him but noticing that he was tentative about sucking me. He kissed the head of my dick and I heard him say, “Hmm,” about… something. He licked the head of my dick and his… inexperience was driving me crazy as he spent a few long seconds doing that before I heard him mutter, “Fuck it…” before he took more of me into his mouth and even tried to do to me what I was doing to him.

And the whole time, I am seriously trying not to bust my nut. As I tried to lose myself in sucking him, that part of my mind that is always clear, focused, and paying attention to everything was wondering what it was about inexperienced guys sucking me that made me want to cum – and in a hurry. I put it out of my mind – more like trying to put it on the back burner – so I could have my way with him. I sucked his dick deep over and over then switched to suck on his balls; I thought about giving his taint some rubbing but decided against it since that was too close to his asshole and he might not like that.

I was in my element; the horny bastard was laughing evilly inside my head and I was literally a few scant seconds from stopping what I was doing – and stopping him – so I could announced that I was gonna cum. So I stopped and told him I was about to cum and he stopped and said, “Me, too – go for it!” And I went for it like I was on a mission… because I was. I could feel his dick twitching in my mouth and that the twitching was happening faster and faster; just as I felt his cock swell, he groaned and really started fucking into my mouth – then he came… and, boy, did he ever!

I got caught in between thinking about how much cum he was shooting into my mouth and swallowing it as fast as I could… while trying to do that as I was cumming. I heard him kinda grunt and I don’t know how I somehow knew he was deciding if my spunk tasted good or not and I guess it “didn’t” because I couldn’t feel him swallowing… and I really didn’t give a fuck about that as I continued to vacuum all of the spunk he had left. So good. So damned good.

“Damn, man – like, shit, man, I don’t know what to say,” he said as we “basked in the afterglow” and all that.

“You’re okay, right?” I asked.

“Shit, yeah,” he said. “I couldn’t swallow your shit – sorry about that.”

“Don’t be – there’s a reason why they say it’s an acquired taste,” I said with a laugh.

“You sure as fucked acquired it,” he said with a laugh of his own. “Damn, that was better than some babe could do it!”

That was a sentiment that I’d heard before and had been hearing during this crazy time when I’d wind up sucking a guy and, I’d guessed, a guy who somehow got caught up in this crazy period of time where getting some dick was the thing to be doing.

“As long as you’re really okay,” I said as I idly played with his balls.

“Um, dude, if you keep doing that, something’s gonna happen again,” he said.

“I’m counting on it,” I said before shifting my position to take his soft dick into my mouth again.

“Oh, shit,” he groaned.

It didn’t matter to me that he wasn’t paying any attention to my dick; if he did, he did. What did matter was he was down for me sucking him off again. My hunger had been awakened and I had to feed it… and I feasted on his dick and gave him big props for being able to get it up again having cum already. I sucked. He fucked my mouth. He even went back to sucking me and, for a moment, I wasn’t even aware that he was until I heard those deliciously obscene slurping sounds south of where I was. It was like I couldn’t get enough of his dick into my mouth even after making it all disappear… to my delight and definitely his. I knew this was “second wind” time and it was going to take both of us a few to be able to cum again – if at all. I got lost in the moment; my whole world was his dick in my mouth and his mouth on mine – and noting that he was better at it this time than the first.

I don’t know how much time had passed before I came in his mouth – and he swallowed this time – and he wasn’t too far behind me before he emptied his balls into my mouth again. There wasn’t a whole lot of it – not like the first time – but that didn’t matter one bit as I milked him with my mouth until he got soft. I was both sated and satisfied and was now hoping that he was as well.

I sat up… and the room spun crazily for a moment and I could barely see him adjusting to sitting up as well. That moment passed for the both of us and I looked at him and asked, “Well?”

He sighed and seemed to be gathering his thoughts before finally saying, “That shit was good, man. Shit, you’re good! I didn’t think I could suck your dick but, fuck, it was like I had to – ya know what I mean?”

I just nodded and waited to hear what else he was gonna say – and trying not to look at his dick.

“I, um, I don’t feel gay at all,” he said and like he had had a problem saying it.

“You don’t feel gay because you know – and I know – that you aren’t,” I said. “Man, a lot of dudes around here have been sucking dick and getting sucked like it is going out of style; I don’t know what’s going on but, um, ah, I ain’t complaining too much about it, if you know what I mean.”

“I do now,” he said. “So now what?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You wanna do it again or…” he said, letting the rest of the sentence trail off.

“That’s on you,” I said. “I don’t know about you but I’m not sure I can get it up again!”

“I don’t think I can either – shit, you are seriously good at this shit,” he said.

I just smiled.

“So, um, ah, whatcha doing tomorrow?” he asked.

“I don’t have anything planned,” I said after thinking about what I had to do tomorrow.

“So (clearing his throat), if I stopped by tomorrow…?” he asked.

“If you do and you wanna go for it again, I’m good with that,” I said.

He just nodded and started looking around to see where his pants and underwear got to… and I was looking myself and puzzled because I couldn’t remember either of us getting rid of them… or how my pants wound up on the chair on the other side of the living room.

As he got ready to leave, his whole demeanor changed which had me worried for a moment because with some guys, it’s all fun and games until nuts gets busted and the guy has that thing I was calling “the moment of clarity” where they stop being horny… and start thinking about what just happened. I was a bit on edge but confident that if he was now gonna freak out, I could deal with it… because it wasn’t like I never had to.

“I learned something today,” he said. “Yeah, this is some gay-ass shit but you were right – you don’t have to be gay to do it. Like I said, I didn’t think I could do any of it and I was scared to do it, ya know?”

“Yeah, it is pretty scary the first time until you realize that there’s nothing to be scared about,” I said. “You did pretty good, too, and I’m not lying about that.”

“I had hoped so,” he said. “Man, sucking your dick felt pretty weird but it didn’t – did that make sense?”

“Yup; I don’t know why it happens like that but, yeah, the first time you do it? It feels so fucking weird but it doesn’t at the same time.”

He just nodded before telling me that he might see me tomorrow… but I was sure that I would. I didn’t know how I knew but I knew he was hooked and hooked on having his dick sucked by a guy if nothing else. Oh, yeah, he’d be here tomorrow and as sure as the sun rises in the east… and I’d be ready to give him more of the same and until he couldn’t take any more.

After he left, I went back out to sit on the steps to ponder how dudes getting some dick – and mysteriously “deciding” that I was the guy to see about that – but really because The Word had gotten out about me – and how many of those guys were, to me, more worried about “being gay” than anything else. I kinda understood why because everyone knew that this was what gay dudes did and being gay was still a bad thing to be… but that didn’t change the fact that for some unknown reason, there were a lot of dude in the neighborhood – and outside of it – who were now looking to have some kind of sex with another guy. I wasn’t sure if it was some kind of sign of the times or something more than that…

But I was okay with it since it made it easier to feed my need to suck dick… and a lot of them found that sucking my dick and tasting my spunk wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be… and it didn’t make them gay at all. I laughed to myself to think about how so many guys were of a mind that being gay was… contagious; if you did something with a guy, you would instantly turn into a gay dude. I was really laughing thinking about this and had my moment of mirth interrupted when I heard a guy ask, “Yo… what’s so funny, my man?”

I looked up… and saw one of the local dudes who had found out that sucking dick wasn’t that bad and immediately knew that if he was here, he didn’t stop by just to ask me what’s happening.

“Just thinking about something,” I said. “You wanna come in?”

“You know I do,” he said with a very knowing smile.


Posted by on 16 November 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , , , , ,

3 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Man, If I Was Gay…”

  1. attisToCy

    17 November 2021 at 01:54

    Reblogged this on attis.


  2. gemstrong63

    17 November 2021 at 05:17

    Like buses, they all turn up at the same time! I love your complete honesty throughout this, your thought processes, the way you give him enough space to work through it all himself before your horny guy loses it and pushes all the buttons! I wish that people didn’t get all mixed up with the cross wires of thinking if they do this they must be gay.
    So many women I have spent quality time with have been convinced that they just had sex with a lesbian rather than sex with a bisexual woman. Its a no brainer for me when they ask if they could try lesbian sex with me, YES! a thousand times YES, in that first moment when they realise this feels amazing and they do go for it all in, can be all out mind blowing!
    The pillow talk afterwards is always about how do I know I’m not gay if I enjoy sex so much with a woman? The answer is simple, I still want a man, crave that sex equally, and could not ever consider giving up men.
    One woman asked me why I wanted both, wasn’t that just edging my bets? Wasn’t I being deceitful? I asked who to? She said and I will never forget this, ‘to yourself and your boyfriend, your deceiving yourself but worse you are deceiving him. You blatantly want to be with women but you don’t want people to think you’re a lesbian so you go with men too. That makes you untrustworthy and deceitful!’

    I will just say, I made a sharp exit left immediately after I gave her a piece of my mind and reminded her that it was she who was going to go home to her husband that evening and pretend she had just had her usual boring mundane day, I on the other hand was going home to tell my man all about her and what we had been up to. Which of us was being deceitful exactly?
    Turns out she was projecting her own feelings of deceitfulness on to me because she was struggling with her own sexuality. She came out as gay about a year later. The grapevine told me she had systematically gone through all of us bisexual women until she had run out of playmates.
    I guess for every ten good times, there is always that one time that sticks in your mind for all the wrong reasons. But she was damned good so I forgave her her ignorant little rant but declined her offer of a second go round later that week. Narcissist was a better name for her than gay, straight, bi, or clueless lol.
    Thank you for humouring my little reminiscences here on your blog. I rarely talk about my bisexuality, mainly because it never comes up in open conversation. I am thoroughly enjoying your posts! 😀 x

    Liked by 1 person

    • kdaddy23

      17 November 2021 at 14:45

      Some people are just juvenile with their beliefs. Society spent a long time demonizing gays and lesbians so it stood to reason that if you were bisexual, you’d get some shit and like the shit you got about “really” being a deceitful lesbian who cheats on her boyfriend.

      Yep… usually, the person who complains the loudest about this is usually full of shit; it’s easy to pitch a bitch about this than it is to accept that they, too, is quacking like a duck that isn’t heterosexual.

      Grew up with people saying that no one in their right mind would want both; that’s being greedy; really in denial about being gay and back in 1977, at best, things were… fuzzy. Guys were running around looking to have sex with other guys; women, as far as I knew, were just as much up to their eyeballs as many exchanged getting dick with pussy and insisting that it was much more satisfying and put less pressure on them (don’t know if that was really true).

      And with the “slew” of guys I had sex with during that time, almost all of the newbies were worried about being gay after the fact. As a matter of fact, the gay guys in the area were pretty much keeping to themselves and had issues with the straight guys they were trying to bed while having more issues with the bi guys and claiming that both had to admit they were really gay and I’d thought that they were projecting their own desires for cock that wasn’t attached to another gay men.

      People just get so silly about this. Why want both? Why not? If you like sex, why not get all that you can and from anyone who’s willing to provide it… and even if the sex is “technically” gay? Still sex. The end results are still the same.

      Yeah, I heard that bullshit about really being gay but hiding it by having sex with women… and I’d point out that, last I heard, gay men don’t like women like that. Indeed, a lot of gays and lesbians were acting straight and having relationships of convenience so they could hide their gayness – and something they accuse bisexuals of today.

      But the bottom line is that anyone who gives it a try usually finds out that it doesn’t make them gay and the sex can be both exciting and satisfying and sometimes with less hassles than trying to engage in straight sex.

      Liked by 2 people


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