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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The MMF Threesome

25 Nov

For some male bisexuals, this is not only a “holy grail” kind of thing, it is the “ultimate” proof and way to be bisexual to be able to openly have sex with both a male and female partner. Some guys on the forum will invariably ask the membership how they can do this, what it’s like to be in one, and if they’re married, how they can get their wife to agree to participate.

As someone who has participated in a lot of these, I know they can be exciting and not so much and, I’ve felt, because of the way we look at having sex – one-on-one only and no witnesses. When it comes to sex – and given the way it’s supposed to be – we’re not all that good at sharing something that’s also a very private thing. Bisexual women get miffed because once a guy finds out that she’s bisexual, the dreaded threesome word comes up but even though a lot of bi guys clamor to be a part of one, sometimes, they find that they should have been careful about what they wished for since wishing for it – and getting it – can be two very different things.

A guy once asked me, as we talked about this, why I felt so comfortable and I told him, “I grew up with them. I grew up with a lot of very horny kids and a bunch of us getting together to have sex was pretty much par for the course but the main thing was that only the guys and girls who didn’t have modesty or privacy issues or, really, no shame in their game at all would participate; those who weren’t like this would mumble and grumble and leave the rest of us alone to do whatever we were going to do.”

“I got used to it; it was usually a ton of fun but sometimes it wasn’t but I wouldn’t be the one who made it less fun and since there weren’t that many girls who’d be interested in having two guys doing it to her, well, things would get interesting and even more so if/when one of us had done it to her before and she had a favorite or, kinda rarely, when me and the other guy started to do each other, the girl would demand that she get all of the attention or she was going to leave. It would get messy at times but that seemed to be normal to me even if, at the time, I really didn’t understand the dynamic all that well and, truthfully, none of us did. Having group sex was just another way to have sex… and a lot of it in one sitting.”

Another guy has asked why some guys wanted the MMF threesome and it was one of those things where I really couldn’t say why but I knew that there were guys who’d give their left nut to be in one; I’d eventually “figure out” that it is the real expression of bisexuality to be able to have sex with both a man and a woman… but it’s not without its problems and issues. The forum members drool over this – and the MMM threesome and even the “M+” bang where they are the only focus for all the horny M’s in attendance. I’ve been there, done that a few times and it was good… and sometimes not so much and I reasoned that we, generally speaking, aren’t good at sharing sex and when there’s men involved, once dicks get hard and the testosterone really gets to flowing, we can be too… territorial and it gets pretty clumsy trying to have one-on-one sex in a group setting.

The prospect excites the living daylights out of a lot of bi guys… and I tend to be kinda ho-hum about it; again, been there, done that and probably “easier” for me since I don’t have much in the way of inhibitions to begin with. It is to say that not all threesomes and other forms of group sex always goes south but it is also to note that it can; I’ve seen it first hand and, man, talk about a fugly situation! For those guys who want to have their wife involved, one of the questions I’ll ask them is if they could see some other guy having his way with her and how would they react if she winds up having a lot of fun with the other guy or “too much” fun. Sometimes the question gives them pause and some will stand upon the fact that they talked about this and they’d be okay with it… right up until the moment they’re right there and seeing her “getting her freak on” with the other guy. Yeah… believe me when I tell you that this is a motherfucker and then some seeing this for the first time and discovering that you’re not as okay with it as you thought.

The question remains that if this is something that could be less than a happy ending for one and all, why bother… and I really can’t tell you other than what I’ve already said. See, for a guy, it’s one thing to be able to bring yourself to getting the dick you’ve been dreaming and jerking off to; I’ve talked about the moment of truth in this where now the guy has to put up or shut up and if the guy gets past this moment successfully, great. They’ve now proven to themselves that they can play with a dick and in whatever way was desired. But the ultimate proof? Having sex with both a man and a woman. Bisexual in its truest form to go both ways at the same time. You’re either going to have a grand old time or the shit is going to hit the industrial-sized fan in some way. Some guys get a… script for this in their heads and while that’s all well and good, um, yeah – sometimes, things don’t follow the script all that much when it comes to who is doing what to whom, when, and how and, well, it can get complicated.

I don’t know how many times I’ve been with a couple and the flow of the moment got interrupted because the two of them are, um, having a conversation about something going off script and now I’m sitting there watching the X-rated version of “Family Feud.” With one couple, that got so bad that I got up, got dressed, and left… and neither of them noticed that I did and I was almost back home before my cell rang and he was asking me why I left and admitted that he “just now” realized that I was gone. I don’t remember exactly what I told him but it was a version of, “When y’all get this figured out, give me a call…”

It’s one thing to want this. It can be something else to actually do it. I had met with a guy so we could blow each other and as a “warm up,” he put on some “bisexual porn” and was going on and on about how much he’d love to do the threesome on the screen and, well, the porn was a turn-off for me and his blathering about how great it would be was getting on my nerves and I finally asked, “Do you really think that the real situation goes the way it does on the screen? I can assure you that it doesn’t…”

Sometimes, I think guys clamoring for the MMF threesome watch too much porn and get it into their head that whatever they’re seeing on the screen is not only some hot-assed shit but “the way” it’s supposed to be. Sometimes, it does but, again, I’ve seen it go south too many times when the guy realizes that the reality is very damned different and more often than not. I’ve told guys that if they have a lot of inhibitions or a big list of things they’re not going to do, being in a threesome or even a moresome might be… problematic. I’d never say that following a script makes the sex less satisfying but they are inhibiting since there’s a long list of what can’t be done and applicable to everyone in attendance… but I’ve wondered, and in the times this didn’t work, if the person or persons “writing” the script ever factored in heat of the moment stuff and the overall power sex has to get someone to change their mind and go off-script because, for them, it’s what the moment now calls for… and then being somewhat bummed out to be confined within the script.

And given that we aren’t “taught” how to have sex with more than one person at a time, it can be one hell of a learning curve that could be tons of fun or anything but.. Oh, my; I remember a time where I was invited to join a couple in bed and things were going well and according to the script I was told about when, out of the blue, he whispered in my ear, “I want you to fuck me…” and she heard him and, well, everything came to a screeching halt and they’re now arguing because the script strictly said that he couldn’t ask or want to be fucked. As I sat and listened to them arguing, all I could do was shake my head and think that they just did not account for what could come up being in the moment. They were apologetic and I told them that I understood… then told them why everything just stopped and the look on their faces told me that, nope, neither of them took into serious consideration that the script might be abandoned and in favor of being in the moment. Like the script disallowed her sucking me… but she did and in a way that he didn’t see and I wasn’t about to remind her that she wasn’t supposed to do that. As such – and when I did mention this (and he didn’t like that one bit) – I told her that she shouldn’t get pissy for him going off script when she did by sucking me and, yeah, he shouldn’t be pissed because she did and he didn’t know that she did.

The night of sex got trashed beyond salvage but the three of us had a long conversation and with me telling them that if they weren’t prepared to deal with things going off script and/or someone shedding inhibitions in favor of something they’d find pleasing, this can present a big problem going forward. I understand the scripting thing and I’d never say that it doesn’t make sense… but I know how some people can be when they’re in the moment and the last thing they have on their mind is sticking to the script and since I know this, I’ve been of a mind that the best way to have a threesome is to not put too many limits on what can happen because having hard limits, while reasonable, can also be inhibiting and a source of turning someone off.

This can get messy and not always in a good way. It might be the ultimate expression of bisexuality but it’s also often the ultimate proof that thinking and doing aren’t always the same thing. I’ve been in some amazing MMF situations and especially the ones where the script got tossed out and everyone when for what they knew; I do enjoy an all-out free for all and more so when, again, I don’t have much in the way of inhibitions and I learned that when you get into these situations, anything can happen and I should always be prepared for anything that might happen. Sure, I’ve been “surprised” to have the guy mount me while I’m eating her pussy – and that wasn’t agreed to but, okay – it’s not like I’ve never been fucked before. Or the couple of times when the guy decided to take a ride on me while his lady was sitting on my face and having a grand time at my expense. it surprised me and “disrupted” my focus for a moment and, yeah, if you think the mental effort it takes to handle all that sexual input is easy, try it.

We talked about that one after the fact; he just felt it was what he needed to do even though anal was excluded. She didn’t give him any grief about it and she was actually surprised that he did it and found it excited her even more. Admittedly, they did a number on me and the funny thing was that I wasn’t to be the focus of things – that was supposed to be him – but, yeah, that went out the window. She and I tag-teamed him and as per the script but, yeah, it all went out the window because she got tag-teamed just like I did. It was fun. Exciting. Extremely pleasurable. They handled the off-script stuff the way it should be handled.

Doesn’t always go that well. Be careful what you wish for because you might not get it the way you wished to. Sometimes, such scripting goes very well but I’m the guy who’s done this more times than I care to remember who will tell a guy looking to experience the ultimate expression of bisexuality that it’s not as easy as he might think it is… but it could be if they can get their head in a certain place and not make what he wants to experience a hard-set and unchangeable kind of thing. I know it’s probably just me but the best MMF threesomes are the ones where everyone can express themselves in whatever way the moment calls for. Leave your inhibitions outside. Enjoy being in whatever the moment calls for. If the script plays out as written, fine but if it doesn’t – and it might not – then fussing and fighting over it and totally killing the mood should be avoided; we can fuss about it afterward.

Let’s just have some good, sexy fun with each other. And this will test someone’s resolve big time and they might even find out something about themselves as well. Threesomes of any kind are, if nothing else, educational.

It is one of the holy grails of male bisexuality and the ultimate form of bisexual expression. Not everyone can express themselves in this way and it’s not as easy as it might appear to be and especially if you’ve been drooling over what porn has to offer in this. The biggest problem, I think, is that to be able to have sex this way, you have to be able to get rid of the way sex is supposed to be and that’s not easy to do. For those married guys, I’ll ask them to think about me making love to their wife and how they feel about it while giving them the “hint” that thinking about it might be horribly exciting but seeing it for the first time? And she’s having a whole lot of fun? Oh, boy… that doesn’t feel good and that’s an understatement and, as such, it’s a “growing up” kind of thing that some adjust to quickly and easily… and some just don’t. Any of this calls for rethinking sex because it defies the convention of sex being one-on-one and private. One has to learn how to share sex and, well, many find that they learn this the hard way – by trying it because thinking and doing still and really ain’t the same things.

Man. So many guys want to experience this and all I tend to say is, “Good luck…” because I know how amazing it can be… and how it can be one’s worst nightmare made real.

 
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Posted by on 25 November 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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