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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: It Was Right There

27 Nov

I was dreaming and I knew I was and, in my dream, I had figured out how to get the world to accept bisexuality. I was dreaming of the details; saw how everything was coming together and knowing that I knew I was dreaming was that weird thing where I’m “watching” myself doing something and even paying attention.

In my dream, I’d just finished the speech I wrote that would lay out the plan and how to implement it world-wide and the part of me that knew I was dreaming said, “Yes – that will work!” In my dream, I went to the UN to give my speech to the General Assembly and it was magnificent and very well received and just as they were about to vote to implement my resolution to the Sexuality War and end it forever, my traitorous bladder said, “Get your ass up… now.

I finished waking up and, man, was I pissed because with each step I took to the bathroom, the dream was quickly fading away to the place unrecoverable dreams seem to go. By the time I got done, I couldn’t remember any of the details of the plan I had come up with and no matter how hard I tried to remember them.

Shit. It was right there and I lost it. As I became more awake, I realized that this wasn’t the first time I had this particular dream and lost it upon fully awakening or awake enough to get to the bathroom without walking into a wall or something. I’ve never been one to think that my dreams have meanings and I’m enough of a science nerd to understand that while we don’t know exactly why we dream, yeah, it’s just my subconscious processing… stuff. As I was shaving and looking at my reflection in the mirror, I kinda laughed to myself to think that if I had been dreaming about something that wasn’t as important as this, I’d remember every nitpicking detail of the dream and no matter how ridiculous I thought the dream to be, like the time I dreamed that my cat was a vampire and I found this out all late and wrong in my dream and got bitten.

I woke up from that dream and was looking at the cat sideways for a few moments and especially when she yawned and I got the usual good look at her fangs. But something like what I was dreaming about? Something with “earth-shattering” implications? Nope. I know I dreamed it and it’s like my awakened mind only has a synopsis of what I was dreaming but the details? Gone. Sometimes, I’m in that “I know I’m dreaming” state and have thought of some kick-ass shit to blog about but in the time it takes for me to fully awaken and start to get out of bed, the contents of that kick-ass blog are… gone. I knew I had something seriously good to write about but not anymore.

Shit. I can vividly remember any sex-related dream and even more if it turned out to be a wet-one or exciting enough that I’ve come fully awake and looking for the mess I know I made but, nope, no mess but I had one hell of an orgasm and fantastic enough to jolt me out of being asleep. I can remember the dream and in detail… but, again: Something like this? Not even. In that very internal way, I’ll “ask” myself, “Where’s the details of that dream?” and my conscious mind asks, “What dream?” I mean, like, come on – there had to be a dream since I’m asking you about it so how come you don’t seem to know about it?

Rhetorical question… because I know why but that’s not the point so much.

One night and again in that state, I dreamed of playing Minecraft and building something spectacular that would test my building skills. I woke up, got my act together, got into Minecraft and built it exactly as I had dreamed it. Oh, yeah – you can remember something like that but you don’t know that I dreamt about how to get the whole damned world to accept bisexuality?

By the way, here’s the Minecraft thing I dreamt about and actually built…

Yep. I can dream and remember something this detailed – and this is just the outside; the inside is even more detailed and exactly as I dreamed. But it seems that every time I have some really good bisexuality-related stuff, I come fully awake and it’s right there but slowing fading away. It’s… frustrating at times and while I know it’s an effort in futility to get my subconscious to tell my conscious mind what went on in that dreaming but aware of that state, I gets no cooperation and my conscious mind says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about…” which is weird, huh, since – and all kidding aside – I know I had the dream and remember having it but my consciousness has no recollection in part, whole, or at all.

Again, I don’t think or believe that my dreams mean anything other than my subconscious at work now that my consciousness is out to lunch. I’ve often thought that when I have dreams like this, it’s like my subconscious is trying to tell me something… but something that never gets into my consciousness so I can remember it in detail… unless I’m building something in Minecraft or any other thing that gets moved into my consciousness that’s not so… earth-shattering like this dream was. My consciousness is like, “Oh, yeah, I know about the dream but I can’t access the details but I know a little something about it.”

Not helping at all and more so when even now, I can feel some… residual excitement about the plan I can’t remember the details of. It was epic. It would end the Sexuality War forever. And I fucking can’t remember how to do it or how I was about to do it. Oh, well. Nothing I can do about it. What makes this even more frustrating at times is knowing that I suffered some brain damage when I had my stroke and there are gaps in my memories and I often get that feeling that I should know or remember something but, nope, nobody’s home. Whatever it was is gone and the only way I’d find out about whatever went missing is when someone tells me about it. But, apparently, the extent of the damage doesn’t include the parts of my brain that makes me dream…

And makes me forget what I was dreaming about even though I know I dreamt it. I don’t forget all bisexuality-related dreams like when a forum member contacted me off-line and presented me with a situation that he needed to be able to do something about and at the time, I told him that I’d have to think about it. And I did and I hadn’t thought of a solution but when I went to sleep, I figured it out and when I woke up, I remembered it and in detail. I contacted the member and relayed my solution and he contacted me later that day to tell me that thanks to me, he had successfully sucked his first dick and acquired the taste of cum because I told him exactly how to make it happen…

I just neglected to tell him that it literally came to me in a dream and one that I was “awake” for. Yep. I can dream and remember that just fine. Anything that’s a revelation and game-changer? “What dream are you talking about?” Or, “Sorry – whatever you were dreaming about is inaccessible.” The good thing is that I can laugh at myself whenever this happens. As I recall, it’s called “lucid dreaming” and I think it’s pretty cool even though experts don’t know exactly why this happens or how it does – they just know it does. Not asleep but not awake; dreaming and being very much aware of the fact that I’m dreaming since, um, I’m pretty sure I don’t own a Lamborghini like the one I remember arriving at the UN in. I can recall that much of it but, shit, I need the details! Send the plan over to my consciousness so I can make a whole lot of bisexuals very happy!

And I keep getting an, “Information not found” message. It’s not like one of those things where you’re trying to recall something and the best way to recall it is to not think about it which, by the way, I get a busy signal and that’s really to be expected since there seems to be no way to connect with your subconscious while you’re fully awake. Indeed, I’ve been of a mind that the urge guys get to have sex with a man just might originate in their subconscious. There’s enough of an… active connection that they feel this urge but when they’re trying to figure out why they have it, nope – information not found. It’s that “voice” that “whispers in your ear” about something and now you find yourself thinking about something… but you don’t know why you’re thinking about it or where the thought came from to begin with. Geneticists have been digging through the results of having mapped human DNA and looking for a “gay gene” which may or may not really exist and just might be “lost” in the “junk DNA” we all have… and that’s probably way easier than trying to figure out how our brains work.

I used to think that a guy doesn’t just wake up one morning and decide that today’s a good day to suck a dick… and I admit to being wrong about that because that’s exactly what happens and when I’ve had a guy tell me about this weird thought in their head and not knowing why they had it – or were maybe lucidly dreaming about it – yeah, that’s probably their subconscious telling them that, sure – today’s a good day to suck a dick… but not telling them how to actually go about it and if that information was provided – and it probably isn’t but the compulsion is there just the same.

Our brains are… just fucking amazing. Scientist have been, well, wracking their brains trying to figure out why we’re conscious to begin with and I don’t think they’ve gotten any closer in their quest to figure it out, let alone have the definitive answer to why we dream and what exactly makes us dream or do that interesting yet frustrating lucid dreaming thing. I think it’s cool to know that I’m asleep and dreaming whatever… totally uncool when I was dreaming about something “important” and all I’m left with is knowing that I dreamt it but the details are just gone. I can dream about sucking dick and remember every detail of that moment and be aware of my body’s orgasmic response… but I can’t remember the details of something like ending the Sexuality War once and for all.

I’m not worried about it and I’m not going to stress myself out trying to remember; if I can’t, I can’t. Yeah, if you’ve ever wondered why I often call my brain an asshole, now you know.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 27 November 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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13 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: It Was Right There

  1. porngirl3

    27 November 2021 at 21:00

    Is this single or multiplayer? I would like to see the inside.

    Like

     
    • kdaddy23

      27 November 2021 at 23:08

      Minecraft is multiplayer. You need the game and the piece that connects you to Xbox Live (a free piece). You can play on PC, iPhones and Android phones; Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo Switch and something called Steam. Then I tell you my gamertag, make you a friend and any time I’m playing Minecraft, you can jump on into whatever works I’ve created. Or I can open the world that building was created in or one just like that one – I’ve built several of them.

      Like

       
      • porngirl3

        28 November 2021 at 01:15

        Ok . This is totally new to me. The kids know all this well. So let me have them help me get an account going first.

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        28 November 2021 at 01:41

        Good luck. Have them teach you the basics.

        Like

         
      • porngirl3

        28 November 2021 at 02:31

        I’ll let you know.

        Like

         
  2. porngirl3

    27 November 2021 at 21:08

    Yea. I have a lot of gaps in my memory due to how I had to literally delete memories from my brain to cope with my childhood. Entire years almost entirely gone. And I did it so well that my brain just automatically seems to wipe things out as some form of data clearing. I can’t remember simple to very noteworthy things. Let alone names. Names and dates are the absolute worst. Some of that is laziness and some of it is seriously things I just can’t access. Like they never existing my brain in the first place. It really irritates people close to me until they learn to live with it. Lol

    I’ve accepted it. It is what it is. Your brain damage only makes you even more unique.

    And as far as lucid dreaming m. It is the absolute best isn’t it? My dream recall is shit but lucid dreaming is something you never forget experiencing. It is literally magical.

    Like

     
    • kdaddy23

      28 November 2021 at 00:05

      I actually got to see the damaged area via an MRI. A relatively small area but in a significant one. Drives me batshit to think that I know something… and can’t remember it. Or someone reminds me about something we did… and I have this blank look on my face because I have no memory of it. It doesn’t bother me as much as it did right after the stroke. I knew my name, where I lived, even remembered what I was doing when the strike hit me. Couldn’t remember my birthday. Couldn’t remember my wife’s name or the day we met – which means I’d forgotten my mom’s birthday because I met my wife that day. Good thing I had my wallet on me and my license.

      Some of it came back. Some stuff didn’t. Buts and pieces come back. But I can pass that standard memory test. I remember song lyrics but can’t remember how I know the song. Freaky shit.

      I don’t know if lucid dreaming is the best but it’s… something else.

      Like

       
      • porngirl3

        28 November 2021 at 01:20

        Lucid dreaming is awesome. I think you take it for granted. Some people when faced with the possibility of doing anything freeze. I’ve had it happen to me even. This immense fear what if I do it wrong. How silly is that? A reality I literally can create to whatever I please can not have a wrong to it and if it does I can fix it. I’m no where near that lucid. I fly when I figure it out. Which to my memory hasn’t been for years.

        And I’m sorry about your mental condition. Can I say that it’s easier for you because you have a justifiable excuse. I real bonafide reason. Like it sucks to have it. And most people probably don’t know and definitely can’t see it.
        But I almost feel like I’m lying when I tell people I have had so much trauma it has detrimentally affected many aspects of my memory. Like I made it up. Lol

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        28 November 2021 at 01:52

        Maybe I do take it for granted. Mentally, I’m fine. Just some memory loss and it could have been much worse. I just get miffed that some of my best ideas comes when I’m dreaming and know that I am; asleep and not so much. Wake up and… can’t recall the details of the idea every time.

        Like

         
      • porngirl3

        28 November 2021 at 02:30

        It will come when it’s ready to maybe. 🤷🏽‍♀️

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        28 November 2021 at 13:08

        I’m not worried; if it does, I just might wind up being the richest guy in the world…

        Like

         
      • porngirl3

        28 November 2021 at 13:14

        👍🏽

        Like

         
      • porngirl3

        29 November 2021 at 19:11

        You know my theory that we are all born with the capacity to be bisexual and I can even attribute it to survival. If at any point society becomes lopsided it can’t go around having major turmoil. Like there has to be some normalcy. People will want to couple up and literal wars can start with an uneven balance.

        So humans had to have the function so that they could withstand any circumstances. Like this just makes sense. And then nurture, nature, trauma, desire, curiosity open it up.

        Like this is just common sense to me.

        Like

         

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