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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Is It Kinky?

29 Nov

About, oh, I think, thirty years ago, I was talking to someone and we got to talking about sexuality and we both wound up admitting that we were bisexual and they said, “That makes us pretty kinky!”

It does? It wasn’t the first time I’d heard someone say that if you went both ways, that made you kinky although, being the literal minded person I tend to be most of the time, I didn’t see it that way; it’s different from just being straight or gay but, okay, it could be seen by others as kinky.

Kinky. What an interesting word. Probably has a few different meanings depending on context like how a kid I was talking to at summer camp asked me how and why my hair was kinky (and how could he get his very straight hair to be kinky.) If something is all tied up in knots or otherwise twisted, the object is kinky or has kinks in it; that nagging pain, stiffness, or ache in your back or neck (or shoulders or any other part of your body that applies) is just a kink.

If you have sex in a way that’s outside of what’s considered to be “normal,” kinky applies. And sometimes, kinky can be substituted with freaky, a connotation I’ve heard a lot since I’m bisexual. Okay. Whatever. Tomatoes are a fruit, not a vegetable; to-may-to and to-mah-to is just a semantical difference. But is being bisexual really kinky?

I don’t think it is but some, apparently, think it is… which brings me to some of the stuff guys have wanted to do and their idea of having their way with me… and I’ve heard some pretty kinky stuff suggested. Now, there’s kinky and then there are fetishes which, I dunno, could be a subset of kink, like the one guy who I was having a great conversation with until we got to the “what do you want to do” part of the conversation and he allowed that it would be a great turn-on for him if I were to urinate on him… or urinate in him. Pick one. Either would give him great pleasure. Let’s not exclude the guy who wanted to me in or on me.

Or the guy who wanted to do some stuff with my feet and, preferably, with them being all sweaty and funky. Then another guy who wanted me to do some stuff with his feet; another guy suggested that I not wash under my arms so he could enjoy my, ah, overly manly scent. There was the guy who asked if I’d be upset and break the deal if I came over and he answered the door wearing his best lingerie and one other guy who asked if I’d be bothered if, while sucking my dick, he was wearing his diaper.

One guy wanted me to talk dirty… to his dick. Another guy told me how terribly exciting he’d be if I were to cum in a glass so he could take it to the head that way. A guy sent me a picture and asked if the lipstick he was wearing really complimented his complexion. The many guys who wanted to role play and particularly the guy who wanted me to “break into his house” and force him to have sex and while he was pleading with me to not make him do such a sinful thing.

Um, yeah, nope – I can see myself trying to explain to the police that I really wasn’t breaking into the guy’s house, you know, after a nosy neighbor reported a suspicious Black man checking the house’s windows and other points of entry.

I’ve had my “fair share” of guys wanting to tie me up or wanting to be tied up and spanked or a lot of other stuff that makes me blink and say, “What the fuck, dude?” One guy said that it would really make him cum hard if, while he sucked me, I’d “slap the shit” out of him and, yes, that’s a direct quote. One guy wanted me to show up wearing women’s underwear and the lacier, the better and, to top off the list, there was the guy who answered the door and had me thinking I had the wrong house because a woman answered the door instead of the man I had been expecting but, yep, I was at the right place… but he failed to mention this to me.

And they say being bisexual is kinky? Given some of the stuff I’ve been presented with, being bisexual is pretty vanilla, all things considered. It makes me laugh when I hear people talk about how perverted bisexuals are and, yep, specifically men. Fucking a guy in the ass and/or sucking his dick is perverted, could be kinky, one of the highlights of sexual deviancy and pretty damned freaky, which made the thought pop into my head that if a woman was sucking me and she wanted to be fucked in the ass, no one would think twice about that or call it kinky… but if I did that to another guy, yup – kinky.

It’s “eye of the beholder” stuff and I get it; one person’s normal is another person’s kink. Participating in group sex is either kinky or freaky and I guess that having Iron Butterfly’s ” In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” on the stereo and the volume on 15 while sucking dick just might count as being kinky or freaky. Yeah, that one was pretty weird and more so when I happen to love the song… just not that damned loud and definitely not a song I’d choose to have playing while having sex.

I’ve been asked – and probably because I’m bisexual – if I have any kinks and as far as I know, I don’t. I’ve had to learn some… stuff along the way to cater to the kinks of others as long as they don’t get into that point I won’t go beyond. Like, oh, spanking. Now, I never really liked it when I got spanked since it was in connection with something I did wrong or, sometimes, I got blamed for something I didn’t do, let alone knew about. I get the erotic connection but when a guy tells me that he’d really get off to paddle me for being a bad boy while sucking his dick, um, dude, you do that and we’re going to have a problem. Indeed, I was being screwed by a guy, it was feeling good and then he literally started beating my ass with a paddle he had hidden while cussing me out like I’d never been cussed out before.

I broke his nose. The fucked up part? He shot his load all over the place after I open-palmed him in the face. He liked it. Wanted me to hurt him even more. I got out of there so fast that when I got home, I realized that I had my pants on inside-out and so was my T-shirt. Oh, and I was going commando… because he kept my underwear and, yeah, I was wondering why I couldn’t find them in my rush to get the hell away from him.

And some folks say that being bisexual is kinky? Freaky? Oh, do I ever beg to differ! Like I said, compared to some of the people I’ve been in contact with? I’m pretty vanilla because I don’t have any kinks. Of all the “kinky shit” I’ve seen in my time, I haven’t seen one that has made me say, “Hmm, that might be fun!”

Okay. I had to take a break to get my chicken noodle soup going which also had me making a trash run to empty the can. As I hustled around in the kitchen, dicing celery and onion and getting my herbs and spices together, I got reminded of the guy who wanted to ride me… wearing his cowboy regalia. He had said that since riding dick cowboy style was his kinky thing to do, dressing the part made sense. I actually went along with this one just to see if he was really gonna wear his gear… and I’ll be damned if he didn’t. It didn’t do anything for my pleasure and I found it distracting to hear him yelping, “Tell me to “ride it cowboy!”” over and over and while waving his arms around as if he was riding a bull.

I recalled this and I was glad that I didn’t have the knife in my hand because I was really trying not to laugh and wind up cutting myself. Afterward, he gave me a hug and thanked me for… being kinky. When I wasn’t but perhaps I was guilty by association? I dunno.

Don’t get me all kinked up but I understand most of the kinks people have; I might think it’s… unusual but it is what it is for them. It’s what floats their boat but, nope, I’m not singing, “The Star Spangled Banner” while homey blows me; that, by the way, was a deal-breaker that I actually felt sad about because the guy was more than okay with me… until he mentioned this one. I have, in fact and at times, been kicked to the curb because I don’t have any kinks or fetishes. If the deal is to suck dick, that’s what I’m going to do and, hopefully, without any distractions that aren’t a part of what I’m doing. One guy wanted to tickle me as I sucked him and, well, given that I’m very ticklish, that wasn’t going to work for me; he was either going to have me laughing until I damned near peed myself or he was going to get his dick sucked… but both just wasn’t going to happen.

One guy wanted me to pretend I was a girl and another guy wanted me to show up dressed like one. Not that I was gonna do that and more so because I refused to remove my facial and body hair just to satisfy his kink but, okay, it was what would have floated his boat the most. I get it even if whatever the kink is might not make a whole lot of sense to me. People are… kinky when it comes to having sex but I still don’t think that being bisexual is kinky, in and of itself unless you want to consider that it’s outside of what we consider to be normal… but I’ve never heard gay folks being called kinky just because they’re gay.

I mean, okay, if you want to wear nipple clamps while we’re wrecking the bed, go for it but, nope, I’ll pass on having my nipples clamped, thank you very much. In the pain department, a guy I was talking to online was going on and on about how much he loved having his balls slapped and punched and, according to him, the harder, the better. I cringed and wanted to throw up just listening to him talk about how that would make him cum hard. That’s a hard pass; I have a major issue with causing someone that much pain. I understood that he was used to it but even though I’m pretty decent at multitasking during sex, even if I were to agree to do that to him – and I wasn’t – it would be too much of a distraction for me to be mindful not to punch his boys too hard… and I know how to punch to cause damage.

Yeah… no. I respect your right and need to be as kinky and freaky as you need to be. Some of them? Okay, we can talk about it, you know, as long as it doesn’t take me to that point which I won’t ever go beyond. Hell, it just might be fun! It remains true, however, that I don’t have any kinks and I don’t think that my being bisexual is kinky at all; it’s just the way I am. I can be… devilish and, oh, do the ice cube thing on you while giving you head but I don’t think that’s kinky. When I’ve been asked what’s the kinkiest thing I’ve ever done, um, well, hmm – let me get back to you on that one, okay? I’ve done some… stuff and, yeah, stuff that others might say is me being kinky but if I’ve done that stuff, it’s because someone wanted me to more than me indulging in a kink that I own.

Unless one thinks that my being bisexual is kinky or even freaky. Some might say that I am since I don’t have a problem having sex with men and, okay, I get that, too, because it’s outside of what we consider to be “normal” sexual behavior but “normal” means whatever it does to the person you’re talking to like, um, no, I don’t think it’s “normal” to be all gassy and farting in someone’s face because it gives them a great thrill. I heard about this one from someone else and all I did was that slow blink thing. Different strokes for different folks. If I’ve learned nothing else about sex, it’s that humans are very creative when it comes to getting off and “unbelievably” so, you know, depending on one’s kink or fetish of choice.

To be bisexual, it helps to have a sense of adventure which I think is needed just to have same-sex sex alone. It helps to be… versatile in things as well as being adaptable in order to push other people’s buttons the right way so they can get off the way they want to. I’d even go as far as to say that having a “bag of dirty tricks” should be standard equipment but only opened when all else fails to produce the desired results. To me, that’s not being kinky – that’s just being… informed. Understanding that what works on one person might not work on the next… or even the same person the next time. I understand that kinks are just a way for someone to express their deepest sexual desires and needs, well, beyond “merely” having sex to begin with but I often find it funny to have people think I’m weird because I don’t have any kinks to call my own and I’m sure I don’t have them because I don’t need them.

Group sex is considered to be kinky but to me? Nothing kinky about that as far as I’m concerned… but, okay, a lot of people think it is and probably – and usually – if they’ve never done it before. I understand. I’ve been writing this and wracking my brain to suss out what the kinkiest thing I’ve ever done is and read this as something “kinky” that I wanted to do… and I got nothing. Zero kinks. Do I need one? I dunno and more so when I can’t think of anything that I know of that, again, makes me say, “Yeah, that’s what I need to get off!” Although I do kinda/sorta think that some of the Tantric stuff I was taught is kinky but I’m really not sure about that just like I don’t think knowing most of the Kama Sutra stuff is kinky.

It is, if nothing else, information. “Tricks of the trade” that I’ve picked up in my sexual journey and as demonstrated by those I’ve had sex with… or just flat out refused to have sex with. One guy actually wanted me to use his stun gun on him and just before he was ready to cum and in a way, I actually understood that one. One day, while working on my car, I did a dumb thing: Pulled the coil wire while the car was running. Holy shit. I pulled it and wound up on my ass and, wow, did that ever feel interesting but I didn’t immediately think about that since I was more concerned about putting myself into cardiac arrest. But, boy, did I feel seriously good or what? It was, I determined later, a rather orgasmic experience and since I knew what that felt like, I understood why that guy wanted to get zapped at the right moment…

And I wasn’t going to even go there. One of the things that ties in to that point I will not go beyond for no one and for any reason. Choking someone during sex? Oh, hell, no and even though I understand the euphoria that can be experienced when you’re on the verge of being choked out – and a thing I learned while studying judo and our sensei being of a mind that we had to know what it was like to be choked out in order to do it without killing our opponent in a contest. I was… embarrassed to get choked out and realized that I had an erection under my gi pants and even if no one else knew it. I get it. Don’t ask me to do it. Yeah, I’m bisexual and if that’s considered to be kinky, that’s enough of a kink for me to have and own.

For this one, I’ll add that in a contest, I choked a guy out; he just wouldn’t tap and like he should have. Just as he was passing out, um, he came on himself and I knew he was because the position I had him in allowed me to feel his dick pumping away and once I released the hold, he had quite the wet spot as evidence. I asked him after the contest why he didn’t tap and he told me that he didn’t tap… because it made him have an orgasm and cum. It was his kink and the first one I’d come in contact with and, well, it didn’t make sense to me then… but it does now.

Just don’t ask me to do it. I’m really not that kinky and if that makes me quite vanilla, I’m good with that. I’ve seen and heard of the kinks of others; there are those who think that being bisexual is kinky but I gotta tell you that I’ve seen straight people do some shit having sex that makes being bisexual look terribly tame and of no real consequence by comparison.

As such, I don’t think bisexuality, in and of itself, is all that kinky… but what do I know?

 
13 Comments

Posted by on 29 November 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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13 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Is It Kinky?

  1. Marlapaige

    29 November 2021 at 18:29

    Being bisexual could be considered a kink. It has little to do with the old school way of it. We use it to mean something which gets our attention in a sexual way. If you’re attracted to long hair, that’s your kink. If you like high heels, it’s a kink. It’s something that turns you on. Something specific to you. Gay/straight don’t usually fall into this group because there’s an attraction to a gender. But bi can fall in. Not so much because of the bi, but because of WHY. So you are attracted to makes ans females. Ok. Your attraction is to their sexual bits, that’s your kink. If you’re attracted to the person and nothing else matters, that’s your kink. Know what I mean?

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • kdaddy23

      29 November 2021 at 18:46

      But same-sex sex is as old school as humanity is but, yeah, I see how others could see it that way.

      Like

       
      • Marlapaige

        30 November 2021 at 05:48

        Having sex with someone you’re attracted to (no matter the reason) is as old school as humanity. Sometimes though, there’s just that one thing that clicks your cog just a bit more than others. Blue eyes, short skirts, long hair, a specific part of a personality. Every type of sex and sexuality has a bit of kink. Doesn’t make it wrong. Kinky doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and a kink is as individual to a person as their fingerprint.

        Liked by 1 person

         
      • kdaddy23

        30 November 2021 at 12:55

        It’s only a bad thing if someone thinks it is. I found that a lot of people said I was kinky because I’m bisexual… and I’d be like, “I am? Hmm.” Part of it is having sex and despite the physical differences between males and females, it was all the same to me.

        If someone wanted to and they were okay with me, sure – why not? Always interesting how one can perceive something one way and others perceive it differently. And you’re right: Regardless to sexuality, people can be as kinky as they want to be. I just don’t think that I’m kinky.

        Like

         
      • Marlapaige

        30 November 2021 at 14:41

        If you don’t think you are, then you’re not. It’s not like you’re a pair of boots that can’t choose.

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        30 November 2021 at 14:48

        Quite so. It’s not a bone of contention but it is curious how others see this and themselves.

        Get Outlook for iOS ________________________________

        Like

         
      • Marlapaige

        30 November 2021 at 15:02

        I didn’t think it was a bone of contention. I was just DYING to mention the play Kinky Boots and it worked LOL

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        30 November 2021 at 18:23

        Ah, I see!

        Like

         
      • Marlapaige

        30 November 2021 at 21:15

        I’m extra especially ADHD today

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        30 November 2021 at 22:10

        Thanks for letting me know!

        Like

         
      • Marlapaige

        30 November 2021 at 22:12

        Lol I think you already knew. But just in case lol

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        30 November 2021 at 22:15

        I did know.

        Like

         
      • Marlapaige

        30 November 2021 at 22:16

        😉😆

        Like

         

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