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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Prudish” Bisexuals

09 Jan

I’m about to “go off” on something that I find patently ridiculous and horribly prudish. A forum member wrote about how he got started liking dick when he was young and with one of his young friends. I read what he had written and thought that, yep, the way it went down was pretty typical and in the “time-honored boys being boys” way.

It is, in fact, how a lot of us got our first taste of dick and found ourselves liking it. The thing that plucked my nerve was that one member who, whenever someone shares something like this with us, starts quoting laws and how illegal it was and, yes, based on laws that exist today and where he lives… which is not in the United States if his info is correct. To be honest, this guy just pisses me off with this shit and whenever he starts preaching, I can’t resist the urge to verbally jump in his ass about his habit of applying modern day laws to events that happened a long, long time ago and believing that he’s right when, in fact, he’s not all that right.

I remember him getting on my case when I wrote about the sex my friends and I would have with each other… and he found out that I’m not the one and I shredded his ass for it, too. He’s telling me about the laws where he lives and all that age of consent stuff and I asked him if he knew what the age of consent was where I live and, specifically, what they were back in the early 1960s. He had nothing to say except to repeat that where he lives, it’s illegal and that none of us had any business or right to tell stories of how we were young and horny and exploring sex with our equally young and horny male friends.

I understand the morality. I would dare to say that I knew about it before this annoying member was born and probably before his parents were born. I had even had reason, a long time ago, to research what the laws were back then and I was surprised by them but also noted that those laws didn’t include a specific age requirement to consent to homosexual sex and not like the law does now. Sodomy is on the books as being illegal. So is oral sex even among consenting adults. I very much remember reading the current laws and thinking that if they were enforceable, shit – a whole lot of people would be incarcerated and, yep, I’d probably be right at the front of the line.

Still, there is much we can learn from each other about early experimentation, to put it that way. There are a slew of men out there somewhere who did so and are prone to thinking that they were some kind of fucked up because of it… until they happen to find out that they weren’t the only one who “fooled around” like that with a male friend. Knowing this can take one hell of a huge load off of a guy’s mind and get rid of that “I’m the only one like this” feeling that just exists for some reason I still don’t understand – but I know what that feels like. It’s not good but it’s not really bad – it’s just… weird. It gets even more weird if a guy is feeling this way even though he’s been having sex with his buddy but, yeah, one just doesn’t make the connection that he can’t be the only one when, um, he just got finished doing something with his friend.

Duh, right? I have said – and probably too many times – that adults are… weird about this. They do not want us to find out about this kind of sex and many will go out of their way to make sure that none of us find out about this – or sex – at all. Ah, but we know… because we used to be kids and even if we didn’t dip our toes into this particular pool, we knew those who did. I used to wonder why I’d hear the adults around me losing their fucking minds about this and other than the highly religious aspects involved and I figured out that some of them losing their minds about it was them knowing that there really wasn’t a whole lot they could do to prevent it from happening since, as every parent learns, you just cannot watch your kids 24/7 and, yeah, if they’re not where you can see them, there’s no telling what those little heathens might be up to.

Even back in the day, I had a strong feeling that the adults around us knew what us boys were doing with each other. They’d “lay down the law” about such things and let us know, and in no uncertain terms, what level of hell they’d bring to us if they caught us doing such a thing and the key part, I thought was, “if they caught us.” The kid logic we all shared simply said, “Well, don’t get caught!” but I would come to understand that chances were really good that we weren’t being as sneaky about it as we thought we were. I know of the many times I slept over with a friend and we almost got caught and felt that we were about to get our asses beaten because they thought we were doing something we were told never to do… but that never happened… and I wondered why and more so when, um, you’d have to be blind to not see the way we were either scrambling to look “innocent” or, if we managed to get our act together, we’re both in bed and trying, again, to look innocent and playing dumb about “You boys better not be doing anything you shouldn’t be doing!”

They knew. They had to. Even I discovered that sex has a smell… and it’s a damned strong one and not one that’s easy to get rid of by, say, opening a window. But since we didn’t get caught doing something, all we got was a “warning” to behave ourselves and to take our asses to sleep. It would have been a whole different animal for the adult to bust into the room and, yep, we’re doing it and, as such, the pain will be forthcoming. This was a part of my childhood and it was for a lot of guys and whether they stuck with it after growing up or set it aside and “forgot” about it.

It just was what it’s always been. The forum is a safe place where we can talk about these things – and this particular one – and without someone wanting to kick our ass for it… like this one very annoying member habitually does. I know what he thinking: Because he never experimented, anyone who did is just fucked up and guilty of violating modern sex laws. I know he thinks that a member who talks about having sex with his friend is being a pedophile. I would agree with him if a member was stupid enough to be talking about being and adult and having a thing for young boys; I’d want to kick his ass but, no, there’s been none of that and the site will not allow such a thing to be posted in any way.

And we do police ourselves and I’m seen as one of the “unofficial cops” and I don’t mind one bit. But if a grown man tells me what he used to do with his male friends when he was young, I am not going to jump in his ass about it and I’m definitely not going to be a hypocrite and give him a raft of shit about something I know I was very damned guilty of doing… and probably way more than he did.

Spent some time back in the day immorally having sex with you buddy? Okay – nothing new about that. Did you know it was wrong? Yeah, a lot of us did and, um, we didn’t much care about that; what we did care about was not getting caught or being ratted out for doing it. It was in everyone’s best interest to not let this happen and, to be honest, any guy who got all pissy about it – and usually because he was being left out of the fun for some reason – and he said he was gonna tell, well, hmm, he would be… convinced that keeping his big mouth shut would be the smartest thing he could ever do.

It just… irks the shit out of me to see someone being all morally righteous over something we all know is immoral to begin with. As adults – and I’ll say “for the most part” – we all behave ethically when we’re getting some dick and you had better be a legal adult, too – and be able to prove it. No exceptions. Just ain’t playing that shit at all. Yep, doesn’t it sound “weird” that we are quite immoral about getting some dick but being ethical about it even though, in many states, sex between men is still illegal… if you get caught or someone pitches enough of a bitch about it that one will be visited by the local police with an, ah, invitation to have a conversation with a judge?

It does… but it also makes sense and the key phrase is “being old enough to legally consent to sex” which, in almost everywhere in the US, is 18 and also the age one is considered to be a legal adult. Where that very annoying member lives? I have no idea what their laws say and I don’t much give a fuck since I don’t live there but I have had sex there… with women and only one guy… and all were of legal age.

I just fail to see the logic in trying to apply modern laws to events that took place before those modern laws existed or was changed to the way they now are. I find it to be patently ridiculous to be giving me a bunch of shit about what me and my friends were doing way back in the fucking 1960s and I’m telling you this in the fucking 21st century. And, sometimes, I think this guy gets a kick out of pissing in someone’s corn flakes being all morally righteous. This guy is known to give other members a bunch a shit about suffering from “internalized bi- or homophobia” and like he knows what he’s talking about… and I can never resist stepping off in his ass for handing out misinformation although, admittedly, I have agreed with some things he’s said.

And he knows he pisses me off because I’ve told him that he does and why he does. I know he doesn’t give a fuck about that because he feels that he’s within his right to piss in everyone’s corn flakes and all due to what he believes despite commenting on shit that clearly contradicts his beliefs. I really have a problem with people who have that “I wouldn’t do it so no one should” attitude and, as such, they feel that they have a right to condemn others for, well, being themselves and whenever they did. I often suspect that this guy might not be as bisexual as he may appear to be and his whole purpose for being on the site is to piss in corn flakes while touting his own personal – and somewhat – narrow views where being a male bisexual is concerned.

Oooh! He just irks the shit out of me! I know he shouldn’t but, yeah, he does. He gave the member who shared his experience “da bizness” and the rest of us felt that he wasn’t right for doing it; we know and accept that the path to bisexuality often begins when we’re young whippersnappers – boys are always gonna be boys and no matter what era they’re in… and most definitely without any regard or knowledge of the laws in place at that specific moment in time and where they live/lived in that specific moment of time. Sometimes, we talk about those horny-assed cousins that almost all of us know about… and this guy will start preaching about who is allowed to have sex with whom and, damn, man – give it a fucking rest already! Now, I don’t always rip him a new one but when I do, I do and I have no problem telling him to stop being an asshole about stuff like this and, oh, yeah, reminding him that he doesn’t live in the United States so while the laws in both countries may be similar, well, this is now and it sure as fuck isn’t applicable to way back in the day.

Okay. I know guys who got caught in the act. I know that they got punished and, sometimes, severely so: Parents back then took this a whole lot more seriously and especially in the hood. Yep… I got busted in the act once and I still remember the scathing lecture I got and I won’t ever forget. It happens. I do not recall any of my very horny peers being arrested and sent to reform school for having sex with other boys. Got in big time trouble? Absolutely. No police were involved and, yeah, that I know of – and my memories from back then are still intact, all things being considered. Still, what this guy fails to see and understand is that when you’re like 10 and your friend is 10 and that sexual curiosity joins the party, neither of them are thinking about some laws that they don’t know about – but they do know that if they get caught, there might be hell to pay.

Um, don’t get caught. If suspected, categorically deny any or all allegations and insist that you have no knowledge of such events. Who, me? Having sex with a boy? Are you crazy? Nah, not me! This is how we dealt with the, ah, “legalities.” It is very likely how young boys before us dealt with it… and today? Probably not so much but, sure – it would be in our best interest to not let a whole lot of people know that we not only like pussy, we like dick, too. And if getting some dick is illegal where we are and live, well, as fucked up as it sounds, it’s only illegal if you get caught and arrested.

Sigh. The moral implications are clear. No argument about that. What I know is none of my horny friends and I were concerned about it even though we knew it. Don’t get caught and I won’t tell if you won’t. Did parents know back then? I still think they did but since they didn’t catch us at it, well, okay and more so when I would overhear some parents say that if this shit happened, they’d better grow out of it quick, fast, and in a goddamned hurry and, yep, if they ever caught their boy having sex with another boy, well, going to hell was gonna look like a vacation in paradise.

There’s no point in bitching guys out using today’s laws when, again, they didn’t exist in their current form decades ago and I’m especially talking about guys my age and were finding out about dick back in the 1960s or even earlier. It’s not relevant. This member, however, thinks it is and I’ll be damned why he does nor do I really care, to be truthfull…

But I will shred his ass over it. I can’t seem to help myself and it feels good to rip him a new one over pissing in another guy’s corn flakes and, worse, making the guy feel bad in the here and now when he never did before. We need to know and understand how bi guys become bi guys; I have learned over all this time that a guy knowing that he wasn’t the only one having sex with his male friends is very damned important and he has to know that, yep – boys can be boys in this way. Always have been and they will always continue to be… and the laws, such as they are, aren’t going to be worried about – but getting caught or outed is still something to be very worried about.

And no matter how old we are when we’re being boys. There is no undoing what has already been done and I just fail to see the point or purpose of making guys feel guilty when, at the time things happened, they were having fun finding out about this sex thing with their friend. Maybe I “like” arguing with this guy – it’s a possibility. But when he’s wrong, he’s just wrong and I don’t have a problem letting him know it and telling him to get a fucking grip on reality.

I’m done ranting.

 
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Posted by on 9 January 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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