gemmi72 (https://corruptingmrsjones.wordpress.com/) posted thirty dirty questions and I enjoyed reading her answers so after doing the one hundred question posts, I thought, “What the hell – find the questions and answer them!”
(1) How do you define awesome sex (i.e., what makes sex better than good)?
Awesome sex leaves you so pleasantly trashed; being pushed to your limits and then pushed further; it’s a much deeper intimate experience than “good sex” is; good sex takes the edge off but awesome sex leaves you wondering what dump truck ran you over and who was driving it.
(2) How do you feel about public displays of affection (PDA)? You can take this as far as kinks in public.
I’m all for them; showing affection shouldn’t be limited to being behind closed doors. I mean, I might not do, um, certain things in public as a show of affection but, sure – kissing, holding hands, walking and cuddling? Why not? I know some folks have a… prudish mindset about PDAs but that’s their problem and never mine.
(3) What are your sure-fire turn ons and/or turn offs?
Oh boy. Almost anything is a sure-fire turn-on for me but what turns me off is, well, shit, that “dead body” routine I’ve experienced too many times. Sex should be mutually engaging and never that scene from “The Color Purple.” Just going through the motions is quite the turn-off, too.
(4) What do you think about when you masturbate?
Great question. I think about any or all of the sex I’ve ever had and just let my mind pick the moments that lend themselves to the level of excitement that makes masturbating a joy. There are times when I masturbate and all I’m thinking about is how badly I need to get off this way but, sheesh, it’s like this is the intent and I’m not really thinking at this point – I’m just doing it.
(5) What are your thoughts about porn?
Ooh, I have a lot of thoughts about it and some aren’t good at all. It’s been my contention that porn is art exaggerating life but I know that what I’m seeing isn’t what’s really going on – I know how they make it and edit it. I think that too many people watch porn and get it into their head that whatever they’re watching is the way sex is supposed to be done and that’s not a good thing because it can set up unrealistic expectations or have your partner breaking the mood by asking you, “What the fuck are you doing?” On the other hand, since porn puts sex on display and often in spectacular fashion, it’s… grounding to just watch sex happening and being able to see the primal beauty and nature of it.
(6) What are your thoughts on foreplay? Favourite types. Best experiences. Wishes?
Well, hmm – that depends on who I’m having sex with and if they’re male or female. As a guy, you just know that women need foreplay to get in the mood and warmed up; you also learn that what works on one woman might not work on the next one… or the same one again. When it’s me and a guy, well, just like with women, it’s all about what is allowed and what isn’t, like, a lot of guys don’t like kissing other guys and, well, let’s just skip this part, fondle each other, give head and whatever else is on the menu.
My favorite types of foreplay are almost anything oral. Ya mon! Best experiences? That would be any time the foreplay winds up being better than the sex that happens. I’ve been sexually active for so long – and have had so much diverse sex in my life to date that I’m not sure I have any wishes where foreplay is concern. I’ve always understood that it’s not always about what I want to do but what the other person wants, prefers, ain’t gonna do, don’t like that, so on and so forth.
(7) What parts of your lover’s body are you most drawn to? If you don’t currently have a lover consider past or future lovers.
Pretty much her whole body; I just want to eat her alive and from head to toe. But as the part(s) most drawn to, that would be her ass and hips.
(8) Consider a moment in your life of great sensuality, eroticism or sexuality. Then answer the questions that Mary Oliver does in her poem, “Gratitude” as they apply to that moment.
Well, first, I have to find and read the poem so hold on for a moment (it’s now 4:42pm EST, 02 August.)
Okay, It’s now 4:45pm and I found it, read it, and I have the questions.
8a. What did I notice? To put into perspective, one such moment of sensuality and sexuality was the first time I made love to my boyfriend and what I noticed was how… deliciously weird it was to be with him and knowing in my heart and soul that I did and truly love him… and now we were about to celebrate our love.
8b. What did you hear? My heartbeat pounding in my ears; the harshness of my breathing as I fell into his embrace, and we kissed for the first time.
8c. When did you admire? What an odd question but I admired him the moment he told me that he was in love with me. I understood how much… nerve it took for him to tell me this and how afraid he was, too.
8d. What astonished you? That’s easy: Me realizing that I was in love with another man and something I had previously deemed impossible.
8e. What would you like to see again? Also easy: That moment when I saw in his eyes how vulnerable he was.
8f. What was most tender? That first kiss. Whew. No joke – it was orgasmic.
8g. What was most wonderful? See 8f.
8h. What did you think was happening? I wasn’t sure in that moment. I knew what we were going to do and, oddly, I knew what was happening but wasn’t sure why it was and that was because I hadn’t really processed that he professed his love for me and how it echoed inside of me when I never dreamed such a thing was possible.
(9) I you were to recreate the early days of your favourite sexy relationship, what would they look like? Would you change anything?
Intense. Scary. I’m specifically thinking about the relationship I had with a woman who was just as married as I was and the chemistry between us was… intense. Scarier than anything I’d ever experienced before. There was no escaping making love because we both knew it had to happen and we still resisted. So damned powerful, lusty, amazing, astonishing, and a whole lot of other words I can’t think of that adds up to me saying that I wouldn’t change a single thing.
(10) What would you want more of in your sex life?
Um, more sex? A lot more oral sex since I have zero qualms about how much I love giving head and not just as a method of foreplay.
I’m kinda thinking that these questions just might be better suited toward women, especially Question #8 and I really had to think on the questions asked in the poem… and kinda proud of myself that I’m… deep enough to have been able to answer them. Oh, and so far, I don’t see anything particularly “dirty” about these questions but maybe that’s just me and understanding that I have an… interesting way to look at sex and intimacy that, perhaps, a lot of guys may not have, which I’m thinking is what’s making answering them… interesting.
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