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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 27 August 22

27 Aug

One of my favorite cocksucking topics on the forum is anything that has to do with sucking off multiple guys and the number of members who’d just love to do that…

And I get to thinking, “Yeah, been there, done that, wouldn’t do it again because it’s not as much fun as you might think it is…”

It makes a difference, though, and the category usually gets broken down between “How many cocks have you sucked in one day?” and “How many cocks have you sucked at one time?” – and “one time” meaning in a single setting. A lot of guys who’d love to experience this are self-professed submissive cocksuckers, guys who are of a mind that it’s their life’s purpose to service men who want to be sucked off. I understand what they say about being submissive in this – intelligently – but as one who has sucked a lot of dicks in one day and in one setting, wow, yeah – what the hell was I thinking about?

Rhetorical question because I know good and damned well what I was thinking about: Sucking guys off is way better than sliced bread! Adult me wouldn’t want to do that again since adult me has learned so much about sucking a guy’s dick – and stuff that younger me was just finding out about while being totally caught in the throes of the amazing thrill of putting a guy’s dick in your mouth and sucking on it until he cums.

I think the thing that “broke me out of the habit” of sucking multiple guys in a day was realizing that… I was being used and taken advantage of, not in a bad way but it was well-known that if you were horny and you wanted to get sucked off, just come find me and I’ll do it until you can’t get hard again. I hadn’t realized that until, one very hot and sultry summer day and as I roamed around fairly aimlessly, by the time I’d gone home for dinner, I had sucked off eleven guys that day and it wasn’t until I’d gotten the last guy’s load in my stomach that I realized that I hadn’t just come across these guys: They’d been specifically looking for me and the last guy confirmed that, yeah, he was told that he should track me down to get a good blowjob.

My feelings were so hurt and got even more hurt because now I could see that a lot of the guys I thought I’d been lucky to suck wasn’t really luck but I’d gotten a reputation. Adult me looks back at this point in time and, sigh, okay, it was what it was and, in my defense, sucking dick was one hell of a thrill and I was so caught up in it that I couldn’t see that, sometimes, I was being used more than anything else. Now, adult me understands some shit about that and I’ve accepted it as being one of the many occupational hazards of being a bisexual male in a world where there are a lot of men who want to be sucked off and without having to go through a lot of… complications to receive this pleasure.

If only I knew then what I know now… but adult me also understands that this is how you learn shit; you learn what to do and how to do it and… you learn when not to do it, too. Some guys were using me and it wasn’t like they really liked me as a person, and it wasn’t like they were like those who I’d sucked time and time again and they found there was more to like about me other than my love of sucking dick. It’s a shitty feeling realizing how some guys can be about this and it took me “a while” to get past this shitty feeling because the question I had to ask myself was what was more important: Being able to express myself like this or worrying about having a reputation as an easy cocksucker?

And understanding that this rep was responsible for me being able to express myself. A lot. Several times a day and multiple times a week. Hmm. It made me understand that sucking a guy off is about him but it’s more about me since, um, if homey wanted me to suck him off, he needs to convince me that it’s worth my time and effort to do it and more so when the guy in question wasn’t someone who was well-known to me. Now, when I say that it took me “a while” to work through this so I could be okay with things, I mean it took me a couple of days – and a couple of days where I would be in cocksucking sessions with my close friends and including the one guy who “put the word” out on me to begin with – and we had a really serious conversation about that and I’ll say that, um, there was a bit of bloodshed before he understood how much I didn’t appreciate what he had done – he’d broken the “I won’t tell if you won’t” code and the code was… sacred.

I didn’t mind being… referred if I knew about it before the fact but that’s not how things always went down but, okay. I took ownership of it because I realized and understood that there was no shame in doing something that I loved doing – and I knew that I loved doing it. This was, oh, maybe a month before the famous/infamous day when me and nine of my friends decided that it would be fun for all of us to take a turn sucking everyone else off.

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have done it but since I didn’t know, it was such an exciting proposition that I’m surprised that I didn’t cum on myself because in one-on-one session, I had been sucked by these guys and had sucked them so to be able to line them up and suck them all off? Does it get any better than that? I thought that it didn’t so after we figured out how to do this and the question of who was going to go first came up, yeah, I hurried up and volunteered to go first and… I learned some shit that, on the one hand, I’m glad that I learned and in that “this is how you don’t do something” way and, on the other, I wish I hadn’t learned it since halfway through the guys, I wound up throwing up all of the cum I had swallowed. What I learned was how semen can upset the water balance in your stomach and when that happens, well, yuck and ew.

You would think that at this point in things, I would have “waved the white flag” and more so when I hate throwing up with a very deep passion but, nope – that’s not what I did; I rinsed my mouth out, drank some water, and finished sucking the guys off. Adult me looks at this and… I kinda don’t know why I continued other than I didn’t want to get my ass busted for being a chicken and too afraid to continue. It was a matter of pride and something I also learned about myself: I knew I could suck all nine of them off and there was no such thing as my not being able to do it and no one was gonna tell me or say that I couldn’t.

Pride goeth before the fall, as they say, and my pride took a big hit… but it was also uplifted in that, okay, I barfed… but I didn’t quit even though, by this time, I was so tired (and barfing, it seems, can make you tired, too) that the last few guys were just fucking my mouth more than I was sucking them. They were nice about it; after I barfed, they all said that I didn’t have to continue, and it would be okay if I didn’t, and I appreciated that, but I had to and because of something my parents would always tell me:

Once you start something, finish it. Well, that and despite barfing, I was having fun sucking them off and adult me cringes to admit that… sometimes. But you can bet anything you want to that it’s something I’d never do again because the most important thing I’ve learned being a cocksucker is that some guys don’t know how to get their dick sucked and, as such, they can make sucking them… not a lot of fun. Yeah, sometimes, I’d be at a house party and sometimes a free-for-all, no holds barred orgy would break out and I’d find myself sucking quite a few dicks in the course of the action and I’m talking about maybe three or four guys at the most – but having more that this number of guys sucking me. One of the things I learned to appreciate about this intoxicant-driven mayhem was how… open a lot of guys and gals would be about stuff like this when, normally and stone-cold sober, it wouldn’t even cross their minds.

It’s not that I couldn’t suck and finish off a lot of men in one setting. I know I can do it… I just know that I wouldn’t want to because guys have a… different mindset about what sucking a dick means and I know – and because I learned the hard way – that I do not like having some guy ramming his dick down my throat like he’s fucking a pussy; just my opinion but face/throat fucking isn’t cocksucking… and it gives me unpleasant chills to read posts about sucking multiple guys and how some of those who would love to experience this “prefers” to be face/throat fucked and because this is what being a submissive cocksucker means to them.

Whatever floats one’s boat. The guys who have done it have said that it was all that and then some and they wouldn’t mind doing it again and I get it (except the doing it again part) – but it’s the guys who want to experience this and many of them have yet to suck a dick and, as such, I don’t believe that they really understand what they might get themselves into. Yeah, porn. I’ve seen some stuff where there’s that one guy who is literally getting his mouth used by a lot of beer-holding guys and in a lot of those scenes, I’ve seen the moment where the guy being fed dick after dick after dick realizes that he shouldn’t have agreed to do this. I tend to sympathize with the poor schmuck because I know what that feels like but, then again, um, you’re a lot older than I was when I experienced this so what, exactly, did you think was gonna happen at some point and more so when it’s a bunch of guys who have been drinking?

I’d never tell a guy not to do this; it’s just something that I wouldn’t do again. Now, adult me has had moments where I’ve sucked off three or four guys in a single day because… why not? I’m sure there were moments when I’d sucked off as many as five guys in a single day but it’s not really a numbers game in that sense but something that was just a good idea at the time and it was fun to not only suck them off but to be sucked off… because if I haven’t learned anything else about this, it’s that I can never ignore or set aside the fact that I do very much love being sucked off so, yeah, if you wanna get sucked off, you’re not going to be the only one because… why should you be the only one getting this pleasure?

It’s not a reciprocation thing but, at the same time, it is. Those self-professed submissive cocksuckers are totally against reciprocation, and I get it… and I don’t. Even my protege, who is one of these modern-day bisexual men, says that cocksucking should be a mutual experience to be shared and I don’t disagree with him on this one as well as his position that he’s not ever going to have sex with a guy who doesn’t suck dick. You don’t have to finish him off but, yeah, guess what you’re going to be doing and if you don’t suck dick, don’t ask him – or me – to suck your dick.

Now, I’ve sucked guys off and it didn’t matter to me if they reciprocated… not because I didn’t want to be sucked but because… I didn’t want to be sucked. This might not make any sense but it does when you consider that I decided that I wanted to suck a guy off… and that’s all I wanted to do. If the guy wanted to reciprocate, I wasn’t going to tell him that he couldn’t since, um, well, yeah – I’d never tell anyone that they couldn’t suck me if they wanted to and if I did, you can bet the house that there’s a damned good reason for it and with the understanding that if there was a damned good reason for it, there won’t be any cocksucking happening at all. I’m just fortunate to have never had a damned good reason to tell someone not to suck me.

The one-on-one experiences are exciting and fun. In situations where there’s more than one cock to be sucked, yeah, it can be… challenging and a challenge that can be hard to resist since, I believe, one’s pride and ego is saying, “Yeah, go for it – you can do it!” but, yeah, the end results could be quite different because as I said earlier, some guys do not know how to get their dick sucked. This kinda neatly ties into another post about sucking a guy’s dick and preferring him to be passive or aggressive when sucking him and, sheesh, I don’t know what guys are thinking about these days but, again and for me, there’s a difference between sucking dick and having it fucked into your face. Aggressive doesn’t work for me and, yep, learned that one the hard way, too. I’ve thought that, okay, I could take on a bunch of guys as long as they let me do what I know how to do and not decide that I need… help in the doing.

But since I know that’s not likely to be the way it’ll go down, let’s not and say I did. Younger me might have let a guy get away with that but adult me? Even in this, younger me didn’t experience guys trying to deliberately ram their dicks down my throat or deliberately give my gag reflex problems and if I made that somewhat embarrassing “urp” sound, they’d back off or wouldn’t get “pissy” if/when I backed off. I had to learn to… contain my hatred of someone holding my head while I’m giving head and more so when I’ve given women head and, whew, some of the shit I’d be subjected to? I was being a hypocrite about that and saw that if I let women put me in headlocks and damned near smothering me by pressing my face very hard against their pussies – and I didn’t get ticked off about it – then why act that way when a guy just merely puts his hands on my head?

Yeah… I had some shit to learn about giving head and the difference between myself and the guys I read about who want to suck a lot of guys at one time is… I did it when I was young, and I had a lot of time and experiences sucking dick to be able to process this in a way that wasn’t detrimental to me in any way. Yeah, finding out that guys were “taking advantage” of me because they knew or heard (a) how much I loved sucking dick and swallowing sperm (b) how ‘good’ I was at doing it and (c) how stupidly easy it was for them to get me to do it was a very painful lesson to learn and that, um, fuck, just being a piece of ass to someone was just one of those things that you either accepted as “the way it can be” or you hated it and you let this hatred make decisions about how you’re not going to have sex going forward.

Or as adult me would be told one day, “You never let anyone steal your joy. Never.” I learned this way before I ever heard these words and, okay, a lot of those guys saw me as merely a means to an end but the question I had to ask myself – and had a hard time answering – was: Did I have fun sucking them off despite what I would eventually learn? And the answer was… I sure as fuck did. The next question was: Should I let just being a means to an end spoil my fun in this?” And the answer was… no and more so when I knew a lot of guys and gals who let shit like this pretty much ruin sex for them and either pride or ego demanded that I never become one of those people.

Did I have fun sucking off nine of my friends? I sure did and, yes, I’m quite proud of that accomplishment as well as being determined to finish what I started even though, um, yeah, I barfed. Yeah, we won’t be doing that one again and simply because I fucking hate having to throw up. Adult me would start looking back at these specific moments in my development as a bisexual male and it made me understand myself and it wasn’t always… comfortable to face some truths about myself like, um, I just love sucking dick and eating pussy even though too many of these experiences, after the fact, shit, let’s just say they’d left me wondering why I thought it was a good idea to do them…

And facing the hard truth about myself: I did… because I really do love doing it. There’s so much joy in putting my mouth on someone and enticing them to cum and/or orgasm and nothing or no one should be allowed to steal my joy. Guys can be assholes about getting their dick sucked and some women, whew, if I thought guys were bad about this, I’ve gone down on women who make those guys look like saints and you suck enough dick and eat enough pussy and you not only learn some shit about yourself, but you also learn some shit about those who you’d go down on… and some of what you learn isn’t nice.

I’m just not of a mind to take on a bunch of a guys all in one setting. Been there. Done that. I know what some guys think “getting my dick sucked” means these days and, nope, not having any of that shit. I could because I know I could because, again, I’ve done it. Especially that multiple guys in one day thing and since a lot of dudes like thinking about the worst that can happen, the worst thing that has happened to me is some guy’s cum… giving me the runs and that was something I had to deal with after sucking off nine of my close friends that day and on top of barfing. Unpleasant but adult me understands the question that must be asked and answered:

Did I have fun doing it? Hell yeah. Sucking off four or five guys in a single day might sound… excessive but the way I explain this is that when you’re hungry, you eat, right, and you eat until you’ve had enough to eat, right? These “multiple guy” experience taught me that I have a… hunger that has to be fed by sucking dick and eating pussy and, um, I can be seriously hungry. I understand this about myself but another important lesson I learned is that just because you can do it doesn’t mean you should do it and, well, taking on a bunch of guys in these modern times is something I shouldn’t do because I know some stuff about sucking dick that the guys who want to experience this – and they haven’t even sucked one dick – doesn’t know about and I shudder to think how this, as a “first experience” would affect them…

But that’s them. Sounds like a great idea. Probably won’t be all that great when it’s all said and done. I sincerely wish any guys who wants to experience this all the luck and success because experience remains to be the best teacher ever. Some have asked adult me if I’ve ever sucked more than one guy (or eaten more than one pussy) and… I just laugh. Not because I think the question is funny, but the answer is – well, I think it’s funny and more so when it’s a safe bet that they have no idea how much I love to give head and getting it, too.

A nice, happy sigh about this one.

PS: As I clicked “Publish,” it occurred to me that this writing, um, puts the “sexual” in bisexual and it is to note that I have zero shame about it – and that’s important for those who are feeling and thinking this way to understand that there is never any shame in doing something you know you wanted to do. How it might turn out is something else to be considered and if it wasn’t all that good of an experience, don’t let that steal whatever joy you’ve found. It’s a mistake that a lot of people make and it’s also a mistake that I almost made or I was about to when I learned that I was being used and taken advantage of.

Don’t let that happen to you. People will try to steal your joy and you should not ever let them do it. Never, ever.

Just needed to add this… and now I’m clicking “Update.”

 
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Posted by on 27 August 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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