Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 09 September 22

09 Sep

I’m in the shower this morning and thinking about what I have to do today – the laundry – and I got to thinking about the Much Dreaded and Despised Blow and Go. While it’s been associated with blowjobs, that would be any time a guy is having sex, busts a nut and… he’d rather be digging around in the city dump on a hot summer day than to keep having sex and he’s in a hurry to get to the city dump.

I know why. The science isn’t that important for the purposes of this scribble but it’s just one of those things that you just learn to deal with and especially any “emotional” impact when you drain homey’s balls and before you can tell him how nice it was to do that, he just ain’t there and you’re talking to yourself.

I seem to recall that I was 16 when a guy vanished on me after I’d sucked him off. I’m trying to get him to stay so (1) he could blow me as promised and (2) I could blow him again and he was making every excuse he could think of not to be there. It seriously hurt my feelings, too. Made me think that he didn’t enjoy what I’d done to him and had me walking around later in Sad Sack mode thinking about what I did to displease him. Someone giving you grief because they think you didn’t do it all that right for them is bad enough; it’s even worse when you find yourself kicking your own ass because you think you fucked the blowjob up.

About, oh, a week later, this rather gay dude wanted to blow me and I was all for it. He was good, too, taking his time and prolonging my pleasure and when I came, before my dick even started to soften, I wanted to be… anywhere other than where I was. He was ready for a long cocksucking session and so was I… before I came. I just told him, “I gotta go…” and I left and as I was pretty much walking aimlessly, I was wonder what the fuck just happened because I was super horny, and I’d had a grand time sucking him and getting him off and he got me off and… I almost walked into traffic and I would have if some man hadn’t grabbed me by the shoulder and sternly said, “Pay attention, son!”

I then realized that there were quite a few times when I’d been happily screwing a girl, I’d cum and now I don’t feel like having any more sex with her which would sometimes be a bad thing because she’s lying there and waiting for me to get things cranked up again but, somehow, I didn’t really “pay attention” to this because I’d make myself start over again with her but, nah, I wasn’t feeling it so much but, then again, after spending some time eating her pussy again, I was raring to go.

But what the fuck is wrong with me? As it turned out, nothing. That’s when I learned the science behind that nasty-assed feeling that I was now very much aware of after I came, whether it was via sex or just beating my meat. I thought, “Shit…” because I realized that there’s nothing a guy can do about that other than to make himself keep going even though he’s feeling very shitty after cumming. And I now understood why that guy disappeared like Scotty had beamed him up. It wasn’t because of anything I’d done wrong – that’s just how our bodies behave.

Shit. Going forward – and especially with guys – if he got me off first, I would make myself stay in the game so I could get him off and if both of us would rather be on the moon, okay – I knew why but it’s still some fucked up shit to have in your mind that you’re gonna have sex and more than one time but your body winds up telling you something different. With women, yeah – just hang in there even though I’d rather spend the rest of my day gutting rotten fish. If she wanted me to stay for more of the same, just resist that sickening urge to just… run away. And then becoming aware of how this made some women feel – like I didn’t enjoy them, and they did something wrong… and you do not ever want to put this thought into a woman’s head.

It’s one thing when time is the enemy. There’s “just enough” time to get each other off and once that’s done, thanks and maybe I’ll see you later or something. But when you have the time and your need to get laid is seriously great, yeah, shit, busting that nut – or making him do it – can make for a very short session. Other guys were aware of this, too, and wanted to know what they could do about it and it’s pretty… fucked up to know that unless you can find a way to make yourself work through this period, there’s nothing they can do about it. Which is also the very thing that gets us into the very deep doo-doo with women and especially the ones who aren’t easy to make orgasm when you’re dick-deep in them. They want and need more and… you’d rather tap dance on broken glass barefooted. Or, worse, we bust a nut and… drop right off to sleep and for the same reason why we can cum and disappear like a wisp of smoke on the wind.

I’m showering and thinking about how pissed off bi guys today are about this and/or wondering what’s wrong with them and all that and it’s an object lesson about how much some of us do not know how our bodies work and, believe me – I wish I hadn’t found out about it but since that dude had ghosted me big time and I thought it was my fault – and the funny thing is that it was my fault… because I made him cum – I needed to know if there was really something wrong with me and if I was really fooling myself into believing that I was better at sucking dicks than I “really” was.

Moving forward, if a guy got that urge to head for the hills, it was okay. I understand because I know why. It’s that occupational hazard that few men can escape and, yes, it’s different from guy to guy and, as I learned, it can be different from one ejaculatory moment to the next. For instance, there was this one time screwing my girlfriend and I did her five times before I wanted to go swimming in a pile of shit. The next time? I was one and done. She thought it was her and now I didn’t like or want to have sex with her but when I explained it to her, she understood but she did have that “What kind of shit is that?” look on her face as well.

It can be… consistently inconsistent. That nasty-assed moment is different between men and women, but they go through the same thing; some moments they really can go all day and night and sometimes, well, that’s when they jump out of bed and do anything other than hanging around so you can keep doing them… and if you even feel like it now. I would notice that the nasty-assed feeling could hang around for a short period of time or a long one – and I’m talking hours and even days. You can have a seriously bad case of sex on the brain and thinking your filthiest, sexiest thoughts and… nothing. Maybe barely a rise in the underwear. One could spend time trying to jerk off but their dick isn’t… cooperating. Either not staying hard or not getting all that hard and, I hate to admit it but I’ve had moments where I pretty much wore myself out jerking off and… nothing happened. And I had noticed that this would sometimes happen… after I’d had sex already.

This is some fucked up shit to end all fucked up shits. I got to understand this one: The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak. In your mind, you want to go again but your body just ain’t feeling any of that either right now or later on. I remember blowing a guy and he’d sucked me off first and, yeah, yucky, nasty, just kill me now feeling. He came and, bleh, he came but two minutes later, his dick was hard and he was ready for me and I’m thinking, “He can’t be serious!” but, shit, okay – I blew him again. He’s working to get me up again and my body is returning a busy signal and, fuck, I think I was five or ten minutes into blowing him again before I started to get a rise. He came again and so did I – finally – and both of us were in a damned hurry to be somewhere else and my knowing why didn’t help matters any.

Just the way it is and can be. Not something we can control and the person who figures out how to make this not be a problem for men will, mostly likely, be a billionaire pretty quick. I sometimes get emailed ads from that site claiming to have something that’ll make you last longer and keep you going all night long and into the next week and maybe that stuff works and maybe it doesn’t but what I know is that when you run out of the gas needed to keep having sex, you’re out of gas. Viagra and other such drugs might make and keep you hard for x-amount of time and maybe it… shorts out that process we go through after we cum. I don’t know because I’ve never taken such drugs.

I needed to be on a transdermal fentanyl patch after my stroke. It had two interesting side effects on me. The first was delayed ejaculation and the other was a stupidly short refractory period. At that time, I could fuck one of the girls, bust a nut, and keep right on going and much to their chagrin sometimes and as I would learn. Man, if only there was something that could do this for men and without the very scary aspects of fentanyl! And if there really is something like this, I don’t know about it.

We have sex. We cum. Game over for a while. I remember Cityman and I talking about this and I explained it to him like this: Since it’s our “job” to sow our seed, once we do it, the job is done for now – and now can be an indeterminate period of time because it’s not the same all of the time. I’d gotten into the science of this with him and confirmed that, yeah, it’s pretty “normal” to have sex, bust a nut, and you’d rather base jump off a tall building without a parachute than to stay put and keep having sex – and it’s even more fucked up when this happens… and you’re at home.

It is, I think, one of the main reasons why there are so many guys in the school of “It’s better to give than receive” because they know that if the other guy makes them cum, it’s game over man – game over! It is about the shittiest feeling I can think of; it can make throwing up feel good. I learned to not get mad with anyone who find themselves dealing with this after they cum/orgasm – it just is what it is and how our bodies are designed. It has gotten us into so much hot water with women (been there, got scalded to death) and even when you know why and you can explain it, eh, why isn’t there something you can do about that?

Because, as far as I know, there isn’t. I would sometimes find myself laughing after a guy flew the coop on me because when we cum/orgasm, the Japanese call it “The Little Death” and it’s an apt analogy because you cum… and it kills the shit out of your sex drive for a few and on top of feeling like you’re about to die. Interesting fact about this: When a man cum, in that moment, if he were to be examined by a doctor, he would present with the symptoms of having a heart attack. I was… stunned to learn this one and from my doctor who had asked me, during a yearly physical, if I had any problem ejaculating. I said that I wasn’t having any problems that I knew of and the conversation included this little factoid although I don’t quite remember how we got there but we did.

Interesting, huh? Anyway, a lot of bi guys are hating on the blow and go big time, whether it’s the other guy or it’s them who’s getting in the wind after cumming and feeling like they’d rather run down the street buck naked than to hang around to have more sex. They moan, groan, and bitch about this and I find myself shaking my head because they apparently don’t know why this is happening and it’s been happening to them for the longest time. Guys who bust and haul ass are the worst motherfuckers ever born and being the one looking to get in the wind is disturbing and, again, can lead to some self-induced ass kicking over something that we have zero control over and, again, there’s nothing we can do about it except learn how to work through it – and that’s if your body will let you.

Lemme take a short nap and we can go again, okay? I don’t know about other guys but for myself and sometimes, working through the nastiness can be a motherfucker and a half because my body is screaming at me to cease and desist immediately if not sooner and ignoring it, whew, what an unnecessary pain in the ass that is to have to use my mind to “bully” my own body into staying in the game.

And, yeah, when I had two women to have sex with? Yeah, did not even want to be on the receiving end of any of that female wrath and rage for not keeping it going until they’d cum to their satisfaction. It’s one of the reasons why I tell guys who dream of having two women in bed that it might look like fun – and it is – but it’s not… that easy since when you cum, that’s it as far as your body is concerned but, yeah, it’s consistently inconsistent and you just never know when that quirk is going to show up. I’ve cum in one of them and gone on to cum in the other because that fucking urge to jump off a cliff… isn’t there or not there all that much. Hmm. Not that I’d complain about that, but it was just one of those things that “mystified” me about this despite understanding what’s going on when that urge to flee shows up… and you know you’d better not flee unless you like having your skin peeled off of your body and salt rubbed into the wounds.

Shit. It winds up making a difference when it comes to blow jobs. Do you get him off first and then hope he hangs around to get you off or do you get off first and stay put and finish getting him off? Is it really better to give than to receive? Well, as far as blowjobs go, yeah, and depending on which end of the blowjob you happen to be. I remember my boyfriend showed me the “trick” of sucking a guy off and how to keep on sucking him until he cums again and, yeah, it’s some cool-assed shit since, um, homey is feeling like he’d rather take a bath in boiling oil. And, sometimes, “double sucking” a guy works, definitely for him but for me as well and especially after I’ve already nutted but my mind is saying that I need to suck more dick.

Ya just gotta learn how to work through the nastiness. It’s not how long can you last but can you find a way to keep it going after you’ve busted your nuts wide open. Here’s the thing I find… funny. A lot of guys prefer not to be sucked or even touched when they’re giving head because they know that when they cum, they’re out of the game but some of those same guys get pissy and bitchy because they’ll suck homey off or he cums in their ass and… he’s outta here. I’m thinking, “How can you get mad at a guy for doing this when you won’t let him do anything to you and for the same reason he wants to get in the wind after busting a nut?”

I’m thinking that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. He can’t do anything about that and any more than you can. I mean, I get it: The way to avoid this is to not cum because once you do, all bets are off for x-amount of time. Sometimes, the blow and go is about time and the lack thereof. There just enough time for a quickie and, well, that just works since you’re probably gonna want to get ghost after cumming anyway. But when time isn’t an issue, yeah, I can see how disturbing this can be for both guys and unless I’m wrong, if you can’t work through this moment, there’s not much that can be done about it except to wait it out.

I learned to not let the Much Dreaded and Despised Blow and Go bother me. I’ve been guilty of it, and it sucked to have to admit to it when I had to. I want to stay and keep having sex but my body ain’t hearing any of it yet. Just might be nap time for me and, yeah, lemme snooze for a few and I’ll be good to go or, I’m gonna take out the garbage, put the cat in the oven, and go find some horseshit to shovel because I do want to have sex again but, yeah, let’s not and say we did.

I can’t think of too many things that are more fucked up in the world of having sex. Well, maybe not being able to cum at all is worse but, yeah. This fucked up shit.

I’m out of the shower and drying myself off a little so I can (a) get my boys deodorized and (b) get some lotion on me so I don’t get ashy. I’m looking at myself in the mirror and I’m sighing to understand how I – and so many men – wind up being victimized by our own bodies and all because its doing what it was designed to do. Deliver the seed and… find something else to do and do it yesterday, if ya don’t mind. You did the “job” and there’s no need for you to stick around… except there is because you’re not the only one who wants and needs to cum and, yeah, chances are good that if and/or when they do, they’re gonna want to be doing anything other than to keep on having sex.

Multi-orgasmic women and women who find it hard or impossible to orgasm… exposes this thing about us. My god… there is nothing more… embarrassing to screw a woman, bust a nut, you’re about to pull out and she asks, “Where are you going? I know you ain’t done yet because I didn’t get mine!” And forcing yourself to go down on her or something you hope is going to get her off because your body does not want to be there doing this. Ah, but I would realize that this is also why you can have mad crazy sex with a woman and the second you pull out of her, she’s out the bed and doing… something. Baby, where you going? Let’s do it again!

And she says, “Maybe later.” And maybe “later” happens and maybe it doesn’t. Hmm. I would realize that I’d had a lot of girls/women do this and, yeah, I’m thinking it’s because I didn’t get the job done and I’m kicking my own ass when the same thing that happens to me just might have happened to them; they “got their nut” and, oops, time to do anything other than to keep on having sex – and even when they wanted to keep going. Or, um, realizing that she’s gone to sleep after sex and thinking it’s because you wore that pussy out when it’s very damned likely that she came and… ran out of gas and it’s time to go to sleep… and just like you’ve probably done after cumming and going to sleep wasn’t what you had in mind.

Sometimes that’s not really the case but let’s not talk about that one, okay? Okay! In this, the mind is willing, and the flesh is weak and it’s only an effort of will to be able to work through this moment of weakness. You just ran out of the gas that, before you came, you had a whole lot of in your tank. Just one of those dirty tricks Mother Nature plays on us and men more than women but they’re not as immune to this as might be believed. If you’re doing her and, at some point, she tells you that she’s had enough and you need to stop, it might not be because you’re not doing her right but because you did do her right enough that… she ran out of gas and now she wants to go get the kids out of the dryer and get them folded and put away.

And if you didn’t know this, now you do. One hundred percent normal for this to happen and, again, more with men than women. I say that you shouldn’t let this bother you but, yeah, it does. It still fucks with me, and I’ve “trained” myself to keep going rather than to just go sit on the sidelines and like my body is now telling me to do. And it doesn’t always work. Shit. Oh, well, hopefully, there will be a next time…

Some guys get all bent out of shape because after nuts have been busted, homey doesn’t want to hang around and cuddle and all that and, sometimes, it’s not because he doesn’t want to – it’s because he can’t because his body is telling him to just get outta Dodge. It’s not his fault and, once more, if there is a fault, it’s that… he came. If there’s someone to blame, well, that would be the person who made him cum – and ain’t that about a bitch? Even if no one leaves “the scene of the crime,” I think it’s okay – and should be okay – to just go do something – anything – and just give each other time to get some more gas in the tank.

But that’s just my thought about this.

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Posted by on 9 September 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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