Yesterday – or was it the day before? – I saw some tweets about a bisexuality conference in DC where advocates met with President Biden to talk about bisexual rights and, from what I read, things went well.
On the forum, oh, maybe a week ago now, a guy was talking about something regarding his bisexuality and, somehow, the thread quickly devolved into a political debate. I get emails from our governor and all I’ve been seeing the past week is pictures of him with people with their Pride/bisexuality regalia on full display and the governor’s promise that our citizens will be treated equally and without regard to their sexuality.
Good stuff. I’m still a bit puzzled at why this has turned into a political issue. I’m not ever going to say it’s a bad thing because, as citizens of this country, if we don’t stand up for our individual (and human) rights, governments across the country aren’t likely to or the ones that do stand up for those rights wind up getting shouted down and ridiculed given how our politics have always had a religious undertone in place.
On the eve of my 67th birthday, I’ve lived damned near all of my life as a bisexual man and since a lot of people can’t tell the difference between a bisexual and a homosexual, I’ve borne witness to a lot of shit as well as being subjected to it at times and all because people don’t understand and don’t want to and, well, y’all know how I feel about that. One of the things that stands out to me about the political direction things have gone in is that if a law can be passed, it can be repealed so lawmakers can uphold someone’s sexuality right now and turn around at a later day and “revoke” them.
In the current Senate race in Pennsylvania, ads throwing the Republican candidate under the bus have been blasting the airwaves and especially the soundbite of him being asked if gay marriage should be allowed and him with this… look on his face as he says, “No. Absolutely not.” In the recent clusterfuck over the repeal of Roe v. Wade, this same candidate is shown saying that, “My body, my right…” is ridiculous and you can tell by the look on his face that he meant what he was saying. Of course, the problem here isn’t just what this guy is saying but the spin doctoring and sound biting going on so that you hear what he said but there’s… context which, of course, those who would prefer this dude not be in the US Senate has taken great care to avoid.
It is to note that Roe v. Wade has been around for as long as I can remember and was the law of the land as well as the subject of many a political debate and the US Supreme Court, the final arbiter of constitutional law, overturned the Court’s decision about this highly volatile subject… and that should tell sexuality advocates something about what politics thinks about someone’s right to self-determination. It’s been out there for a while now that, yup, bisexuality is real and so are bisexuals but if you pay attention to what a lot of the advocacy is saying, you would think that bisexuals have been getting their heads handed to them and worse than homosexuals were getting their heads handed to them and… I don’t see that. At the very least, I haven’t experienced it like I’ve been observing.
Which sometimes gets me asking, “What the hell is going on?” I don’t dispute that bisexuality has been a major problem for some folks but, again, you pay attention to what’s being said, and it implies that all bisexuals are de facto victims of man’s inhumanity to man. Our religious beliefs specifically state that homosexuality is a sin and all that so it’s not really that big of a stretch to toss bisexuals into this same pot of boiling oil and if for no other reason that it being… convenient. Homosexuals had to stand up for their right to be treated like everyone else is and a lot of laws have been enacted to try to stem the violence against homosexuals (and rightfully so) and I’ve seen a few stories about some poor bi guy who got jumped and beaten or whatever because he got subjected to the same homophobia that, again, I grew up hearing and seeing.
And despite all the political and legislative stuff that’s in place to “ensure” one’s right to be the sexuality of their choice, a lot of bad behaviors are still going on because like I realized one day about racial prejudice, as long as there is one person who is racially prejudiced, it’s never going to go away. So, yeah – as long as there are people who continue to believe that religion is right about what it says about and against homosexuality, it’s not going away either. We just “get a kick” out of exercising our right to denigrate and invalidate the rights of others.
I’ve had more problems tossed at me for stuff that has nothing to do with my sexuality. Yeah, you draw someone’s ire and you’re gonna get some grief and that’s just to be expected but if you can wrap your head around our fear of the other, I don’t know about anyone else but it just seems to me that since we’ve not being able to purge this from our behavior as a social animal, all this hellraising over bisexuality isn’t going anywhere and no matter what politicians and the various courts have to say about it.
Which is probably why a lot of bisexuals just… go right on being bisexual and don’t want anything to do with all the social and political riffing. If no one knows or suspects that you’re bisexual, they can’t try to kick your ass about it, figuratively or literally. I’ll be back in a moment: I have to get my iPad so I can look at something I saw on Twitter last night because it made me go, “Hmm.”
And, of course, I can’t find it and just watch: I’ll see it again later today and when I’m not looking for it. The gist of what I saw was that bisexuals confuse people because we aren’t… hetero- or homonormative and we’re not gender-specific (which seeing that made me cringe) and the tweet made me go, “Hmm…” not because it wasn’t true but, okay – it took someone this long to figure out that we don’t fit the general descriptions? Really? Sure, I knew this but reading the tweet made me wonder how someone could be told what bisexuality is and… they don’t see that we don’t fit the general descriptions we’ve used to define and describe both hetero- and homosexuality. Um, the word says it and it’s pretty straightforward but, yeah, humans aren’t always of a mind to accept that bisexual means two sexes and that it has to mean something other than… what it means.
The bottom line of things is that if you’re bisexual and you’re not going to stand up for yourself, who’s supposed to? The clown posse that resides in DC? As long as you understand this, well, that works and more so when there are so many people who just don’t or, actually, they really do because they’re not really that stupid or ignorant but it’s all about that which you believe… and you have the right in this country to believe whatever you want to and even if what you believe is, let’s say, obviously wrong.
If homosexuality is real, why isn’t bisexuality just as real? The truth is that, um, duh, it is and always has been real but you haven’t “lived” until you tell someone that you’re bisexual… and they tell you that you aren’t and can’t be. I had the… opportunity to find out why I’ve had people tell me this and, okay, I get it but if I’m telling you that I’m bisexual, what you believe, er, yeah, that can’t be right. Yes, I know what it says and I’ve seen many a Baptist preacher, on “any given Sunday,” almost give themselves a stroke dancing and prancing and hollering and throwing buckets of fire and brimstone on the congregation over this to not know what it says.
We confuse people because we’re not straight and we’re not gay. The… anti-binary crowd would have you believe that if you said that you’re both, well, you’re not right but I know why they’d say something like this because of gender and, yeah, people who believe that they are neither male or female and, I picked the wrong day to give up drinking! I’ve had 58 of my soon-to-be 67 years to not only be bisexual but to see how people react and behave and, sure, not all of it has been good but there are a lot of people who… don’t give a fuck if you’re bi as long as you’re not hitting on them or those they know and/or otherwise care about.
And if someone is sexuality prejudiced, um, unless they know, suspect, or take rumor mills as the gospel truth, that you embody the sexuality they are prejudiced against, they cannot subject you to their prejudice. But like I said the other day, if you give someone a stick to beat you with, guess what’s gonna happen? When you “put your business in the street,” you leave yourself wide open for some shit that will make you wish you hadn’t put your business in the street.
I don’t run around decked out in the colors and happily letting folks know that I’m bisexual because… it’s none of their business how I have sex and who I might have it with. It is… incredulous that we, as a society, can be so prudish and private about having sex but some of us are pitching a bitch how, in this case, bisexuals are being bisexual. I’ve known for the longest time that people hear “bisexual” and think “homosexual” and it’s never failed to amaze or baffle me at how and why some folks connect this thing that isn’t directly connected to homosexuality.
Or, like I’ve been saying, um, did you miss the part where I said that I love women and pussy? How is it that you don’t seem to know that “bi” means two and “homo” means “the same?” The only thing those two different words have in common is the “sexual” part and, yes, it can literally mean sex because, well, sex is some good shit to be having and… why it is any of your business how I – or anyone else – is getting laid? There are a lot of things I don’t believe in, but I think I’m realistic enough to know and understand that just because I don’t believe in something doesn’t make it… invalid. I’ve found that a lot of people are the same way… except for this.
And getting the DC Clown Posse to “sign off” on bisexuality as a real human right, well, I see the sense in it but those idiots can overturn a woman’s right to determine what happens to her body and there are factions working on invalidating gay marriage, um, what’s stopping them from acknowledging that you have the right to be bisexual and not be discriminated against and then, somewhere down the road, taking that right away – again. Or still. Or is this really the political issue that some advocates are insisting it is? Do bisexuals really have the same bullshit to deal with that, historically, homosexuals have been dealing with ever since it was declared to be a moral sin?
There are those who would have you believe that we do. Someone had asked me what my biggest problem being bisexual is and I said, “Deciding what I want for dinner.” They thought I was being funny, and I wasn’t even trying to be funny because there are more important problems I have to deal with, and my bisexuality isn’t one of them. They launched right into the tired, old-assed bullshit I grew up hearing and even asked them if they knew the difference between a bisexual and a homosexual and they said that they did… but.
Oh, here we go… again. Do I worry about really being gay? Oh, fuck no, since I’ve proven time and time again that I’m not. Do I worry about what other people would say? Not anymore since no matter what they say, it’s not going to change the fact that I’m bisexual. What does my family think? They think I’m crazy but what else is new? And… why are you all up in my business like this? I told you that I’m bisexual. What else do you need to understand? Oh, silly me, you need to understand it because bisexuals… don’t make sense because we’re both straight and gay, well, as far as having sex goes but I also know that it’s more than that and if you’re not willing to take my word on this – and given how long I’ve been bisexual, I don’t know what to tell you and if I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve learned that people are going to believe whatever they’re going to believe and no matter what I say.
And since that person wanted to get all up in my sexual business, I asked them when was the last time they got laid, who they did it with and don’t leave out any of the juicy details… and you should have seen how uncomfortable they got and they asked me why I wanted to know their personal business… and I said for the same reason why they wanted to know my personal business. Point made.
I sometimes keep having a dream about being at a Pride event and I’m the keynote speaker and… it didn’t go well because what I told them about bisexuality wasn’t what they wanted to hear and beginning with how silly they were behaving about it. Telling the audience that bisexuality isn’t just an intellectual exercise but it’s also some very real shit because thinking – and, in this case, being – are two different things and if they haven’t been exposed to the reality of things, well, they might be in for a shock or two because being bisexual isn’t really all that different from being hetero- or homosexual because it’s how we can relate and interact with each other and the only real difference usually boils down to who we’re having sex with and that means is it a man, a woman, or both.
And how the current mindset keeps making this harder than it already is. In the dream, no one got up and left but they were most certain stunned and so quiet you could hear an ant fart. In the dream, they were expecting some sugary stuff about bisexuality and that’s not what happened. I… didn’t make any friends but that wasn’t the point of things. In the dream, I spoke about not only what I know about this but what I’ve actually experienced, and I didn’t pull any punches which, being in that place where I knew I was dreaming, kinda surprised me a little but, okay. Dreaming. Making a note that if someone really did invite me to speak, um, I might want to politely refuse.
And, in real life, I have upset quite a few people but, yet again, they found that asking me questions they really don’t want to hear the answers to isn’t always a smart thing to do. Would I want to sit down with some politicians and have a conversation about the problems facing myself as a bisexual male? No, not really since I don’t have any problems other than some people giving me shit about being male and bisexual and that’s their problem and if they want to make it my problem, well, don’t. Just don’t. Leave it alone. Does my bisexuality make me feel… oppressed? No… and why would it? If I were to allow the social shit to fuck with my head, I would have been institutionalized a long time ago because, oh, woe is me, nobody likes me because I’m not like they are.
Such is life. What do I want for dinner? When I get my lab work done to see how my kidney function is doing, what’s it gonna say? Damn, I’m running out of blades for my razor… and how much shaving cream do I have left? Gotta make an appointment to get my eyes checked and I’m probably gonna need new glasses but, hmm, do I wanna go with a different frame or what? Shit… thanks to this pain in the ass kidney issue – and it’s literally a pain in my ass – I need to get new pants, underwear and T-shirts and… a lot of other things I think and worry about more than I do being bisexual.
I am… forever curious. Like, why are you surprised that I suck cock when you know that there are guys that do… or is what surprises you is the fact that I’m not gay? And it is a fact, by the way, and I’d love to say that I don’t know why you don’t believe this, but I do know… and that’s often the sad part. It’s pretty sad when we have to get… political about this and in a country where our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is a right and one of those inalienable rights at that. As in it cannot be taken away from us.