Today’s my 67th birthday and I spent a few moments thinking that I wouldn’t mind being 37 again and I smiled to myself to think way, way back to a time when it was inconceivable that I’d be this old because I couldn’t wait to be a teenager, then be 21, and… now I’m 67.
It is said that at some point, your birthday becomes just another day; it’s an important one, of course, but yeah, it’s being thankful to be around to contemplate being a year older and, shit, another year closer to the end of things and it makes celebrating every day a good thing to do. It’s… weird to know how old I am but my mind isn’t so much in denial about my age but I don’t think like I’m this old, which is a good thing.
I got out of bed and the moment my feet hit the floor, my joints sounded off like a box of Rice Krispies and I did what I’ve been doing for a while upon hearing these sounds: Rolled my eyes. Sheesh. The other day, I had a kink in my shoulder and, fuck – what happened to those days when something like this would happen and I could literally shake it off and like it never happened? Now I work on getting the kinks out and I have to be careful not to hurt something else in the process.
I remember my late and beloved mother saying when she was 40-something, “This getting old crap is for the birds!” I remember thinking that she wasn’t that old and, of course, I would understand that I really couldn’t relate to what she was saying given I was 20 years younger. Now I know exactly what she meant; I remember talking to her when I turned fifty and told her, “You were right; this getting old crap sucks!”
And she laughed… for quite a bit of time, too.
Thinking about being much younger and resisting the urge to roll my eyes every time I heard someone say, “When I was your age…” and I’m telling younger folks the same annoying thing. I happened to be looking for something on my phone and ran across a picture of me holding… my great-grandson. And then even weirder thing of “noticing” that the old guy in the picture isn’t the guy I see in the mirror every day and, hmm – it is weird that a camera can see something that your own eyes don’t.
I had my yearly (and “mandatory”) exam for my insurance carrier and I’m in pretty good shape for a guy my age and given the stuff going on with me and… when the fuck did I become that guy my age? One of the first birthday wishes I got was from… my first grandchild who will be 32 tomorrow. Thirty-two. He’s still miffed that he wasn’t born a day earlier but, yeah. He’s gonna be 32. I have twin second cousins who were born on this day; I have a first cousin who was born 363 days after I was and I have always loved giving him da bizness to wish him a happy birthday and remind him that for two whole days, we’re the same age.
A moment of sadness to think that my brother and older sister are gone. Another to think that I’m an orphan and that with the exception of my cousin’s mom, that generation of the family is no longer with us. I know that the clock is running down and I’m not even looking forward to the day it runs out. I sigh and… I need to get my passport renewed, I finally got around to getting the new wallet I’ve needed for a while now as well as doing something as mundane as getting a new belt and even that was long overdue. And… what’s for dinner?
Today is… just another day but one that I am more than grateful to be around to complain about shit. I’m having one of those senior moments because I’m trying to read the instructions that came with my new belt for attaching the buckle and… I can’t see that shit. Well, that’s because I didn’t have my glasses on and… I roll my eyes and set the belt and buckle aside for later. Taking a moment to not only clean out my old wallet but trying to figure out how I’m going to get the stuff I need to carry in the new wallet… and seeing my AARP card and… I still have my original Social Security card which, in the old wallet, was in the plastic sleeve and behind… my Social Security card.
I was giving my cousin da bizness (as usual) when texting him a couple of days ago and I asked him if he’s gotten that letter from Social Security congratulating him for reaching retirement age. He said that he hasn’t gotten it but when he does, he’s gonna frame it and I allowed that mine is… filed away somewhere.
Yeah, this getting old crap is for the birds… but it’s good to get old even when your joints like to sound like a Fourth of July fireworks display. All you can do is… laugh. It’s funny – and not so much – when you can now sprain your back just getting out of the bed. But life is good… and that’s why someone invented Icy-Hot. I have a neighbor who’s a few years younger than I am and he can’t seem to believe that I am, in fact, older than he is and probably because, I dunno, I either don’t look like I am or, more likely, I don’t think like I am.
I talk to the guy I’ve been mentoring in the ways of bisexuality, and I find myself saying to him, “Wait until you get to be my age…” or yanking his chain to remind him that my youngest child is older than he is and, yeah – who’s your daddy?
Another year older. Allegedly wiser and, all things considered, I’m really not bad for a guy my age.