Beware the ides of March! I dunno, on this date, this warning the oracle gave Caesar about his impending doom stuck with me ever since we learned about his demise in school. Now, on to what I was thinking about.
In the beginning and upon discovering that dick was good, I ventured forth into the sexual world to explore this wonderful thing called sex and having many wonderful and, often, comical adventures with my peers, both male and female. The whole world had opened up before me and sex was everywhere. Alas, there were attempts to make us fear sex and by those who, due to being of an adult age, knew that sex could be bad, that there were forms of sex that were taboo and immoral, and did their level best to prevent us from discovering these things.
They were, of a kind, oracles whose sworn duty was to warn us, to dissuade us, to offer portents of a dark and foreboding future that may or may not come to pass – but with a certainty that warned that the worst would happen. Keep it in your pants; keep your legs closed; do not think about things homosexual lest God – not the gods of the days when Rome and Romans, along with the Greeks, were practicing debauchery with reckless abandon – sees your sins and strikes you down from heaven above and casts you into the hell below, to suffer for all eternity in pain and agony. Heed the warnings, young ones; be chaste, pure of thought and deed, and retain your virginity at all costs.
Yeah, it didn’t work all that well. While many heeded the words of our elder oracles, many of us were not of a mind to listen… because this sex thing is totally groovy! The intimacy of sex driven by the onset of puberty was so new and wonderful and quite scary; however, and despite this, I – along with my peers – would risk the severest of punishments to have sex and in any way it could be had, done, and enjoyed.
There were lessons learned, both good and bad. There were “bad” moments that weren’t that bad; there were good moments that weren’t all that good. So much confusion; so many questions that begged for answers and no one who had them being willing to offer them for consideration. You’re on your own, kiddo – good luck.
Yeah, thanks for nothing. There were rules and even laws for having sex. Well – ain’t that about nothing? The rules and laws were to be obeyed but there was awareness that there were those who did not obey them but there was the conflicting rules and laws about being a consenting adult. In the early days of becoming a legal and consenting adult, a man who was wedded to a woman and as such things should be wanted to… inseminate me, both orally and anally as well as wanting to similarly inseminated. Adultery was committed and, dare I say, enjoyed? The plight of the married was glaringly on my radar and more so when I had been totally disabused about the sanctity of marriage not long before another married man sought and had sexual congress with me.
While there were many single men to be found and had, it came to my attention that there were many men, married or otherwise relationally involved with someone, who sought sexual succor from, well, anyone other than the person they were relating with. Indeed, even I had learned that being a married man drew both men and women to me like moths to a flame and… what the hell is up with this? I could easily recall certain women who, prior to my being married, wouldn’t give me the time of day if I needed it to preserve my life – and who rejected me for sex out of hand – flocking to me in droves and bearing the gift of their pussies and, okay, now you want me to have it? Really?
Being hunted by single men when I was single was… just the way it was. It came to pass, however, that the best sex – and in this very taboo way – was to be found with those men who were married (or otherwise hooked up) and I wanted – nay, needed – to know the truth of this. Why the pursuit to get a man to commit adultery in this way? I learned about… forbidden fruit. Well, actually, started getting a masterclass on the subject because in my youth, all of my male peers were forbidden fruit as well, not that we cared about that all that much because, as we learned, discovered, and experienced, having sex and inseminating each other was pretty damned good but for many of us, not as good as having sex and inseminating females.
But I digress. One of the… misconceptions that was foisted upon us was that being married… guaranteed sex. Not stated specifically but it was very much and greatly implied because in marriage, there are… duties that must be performed and without exception and, yeah, that was a bunch of bullshit because it might start out like that but at some point, these duties would be neglected and set aside, leaving partners, both male and female, at odds and in dire straits to have this matter of great import discarded and either in favor of a gross lack of interest or the myth of grass being greener on the other side of the fence. Men who either preferred or to whom it made no difference if it was another man had a… thing for married men and men, by rule, law, and the morality of mankind, were off-limits. Period. Commanded by God Himself and by way of His Commandments which were handed to Moses and, specifically, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
Oops. Yet, there was an abundance of married men willing to commit adultery because of their need to heed the call of cock and cum, sometimes to satisfy a need that, by necessity, was hidden and, sometimes, um, because they weren’t getting the pussy that was allegedly promised to them via the vows of holy matrimony. Aye, there were some married men who continued to savor the flesh of she he was married to but deemed to be… not enough. Not that her flesh was not delectable and desirable but because… there had to be more to sex than just this… and daring to commit a sin before God – adultery – to discover, relish, and savor the touch of a man as well.
Those greedy motherfuckers. It was said throughout the land that men were not the only ones guilty of this sin; aye, many a female learned what their mates were learning, and, in this, the word spread far and wide that the best pussy to be had was… married pussy (and the only thing better than married pussy was pregnant pussy). However, with the great abundance of unmarried and unattached males throughout the lands who had no qualms about entering into sexual congress with other males, there should have been no need to seek out married and attached males… right?
Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I was beset upon by many a single male and mostly because of the band of gold encircling the third finger of my left hand. I was beset upon by many a married male, who was similarly adorned with the symbol of promise and fidelity. And at turns, I wondered… why. Not that I was complaining about all the dick, ass, and cum I was getting – and let’s not forget all of the pussy I was getting from single and married females alike because… it’s good to have permission – but there was a point in time where I was being besieged by those looking to have sex with me because I was married that I was turning them down in great numbers because… there are only so many hours in a day and, okay, this is getting seriously crazy. In those early days, I couldn’t figure out what the allure was because, the ring on my finger aside, I was still the same and very bisexual guy I was before I accepted the ring. What changed, I mean, other than that band of gold?
I’d become… forbidden fruit. Well, more than I already was given how nice it was to lie with a man, but I’d become even more of a forbidden thing and there were many, it seemed, who were drawn to the forbidden and, well, I understood that but… it couldn’t be that simple. I would learn of the perception and belief that one who was married was more… stable. Reliable. Well-schooled in the ways of carnal knowledge. The thrill of obtaining the unobtainable. An equal thrill of infidelity and adultery to also pursue that fruit which was forbidden by oath and vows to keep only unto yourselves. The many who said that they would never violate this oath and commit this sin but found themselves drawn to it so that they may commit the sin of engaging in sexual congress via the ways of homosexuality and lesbianism. The undeniable sense of freedom and liberation when you could, um, commit both of the latter sins because… it’s good to be able to go both ways. The best of both worlds and quite forbidden under any circumstance.
Because, as it came to be learned, needs always must. Oracle and ministers of faith would, on the seventh day of rest, warn against giving into temptations and partaking of the sins of the flesh and… their words and portents of eternal damnation falling upon ear that could not hear. If the heart wanted what it wanted, so did the flesh and, in context of this missive, the flesh which was forbidden to us was of the sweeter taste. It could taste bitter, of course, and many found the forbidden fruit to be spoiled and fermented beyond the possibility of being edible. You live and learn and you live and learn that just because that particular piece of forbidden fruit was inedible and unpalatable, there was always more of it to be had, partaken of and, yea, verily, enjoyed.
An unmarried and unattached male pursued me for a number of days. I asked him why he was pursuing me and pleading to be inseminated by me, both orally and anally, and his answer was, “Because you’re married, bro.” I was, indeed, stable even in my open marriage. I was reliable and very well-schooled in the ways of carnal knowledge and, dare I say, most excellent in my understanding of giving pleasure to flesh that was similar to my own.
Yeah, I could suck a seriously mean dick. It appeared that I could make it hurt real good going in that most forbidden of orifices. After inseminating him several times and over the course of a few hours, I found myself sitting and thinking, not about the sins I had committed but contemplating why the ring I wore made so much of a difference when I knew that there were unattached males who were just as capable – and more than capable – in these things that I was. I… dropped my pursuit of meaningful answers. It all… was what it was. Understanding that the fallacies of the way it’s supposed to be get exposed because of the stark light of reality.
Then it came to pass the era of bisexual males seeking a male… friend with benefits and the preferred male was… the one who was attached. Married in deed as well as “in thought.” The continued perception that married men are stable, reliable, knowledgeable and above all else, safe because a married man needed to be safe so as not to bring disease to an unknowing spouse or partner which would also expose the man’s infidelity and adultery via sexual congress with other males… or that hot babe over there that proved to be hotter in a very different and undesirable way and now, the embarrassment and personal humiliation of having to get large doses of antibiotics because of errors in judgement and… thinking with the wrong head.
I understand the allure a married man has to some. What I don’t understand is why there is this belief that if your male FWB is in a relationship, that guarantees good health and safety. I see the sense of this; I understand the logic under which this perception came to be. I also know about the reality of things; um, that dick might not be all that safe and it is foolish to presume that it is because, as I tell those who are seeking a married/attached male as an FWB, um, you have no idea where his dick has been – or who has been in his ass – when he’s not with you and getting busy in the ways which were already agreed upon.
By mutual consent. Having one of those quirky moments when I was wondering how one can consent to something when they’re in a situation that doesn’t allow them to consent. Yeah, this gets quite messy when you start digging around in this. I was sitting at a departure gate in an airport and noticed a guy who seemed to be checking out men and while trying to behave like he wasn’t. I guess it takes one to know one but he’d gotten my attention because he was being sneaky about checking the other men at the gate out and I didn’t know why. I found out a couple of minutes later when he sat next to me and started talking… about a lot of nothing and I cut him off by asking, “Why were you checking out these other dues and now you’re talking to me?”
“Because I like married men and you’re the only guy sitting here wearing a ring,” he said. He offered to fellate me in the men’s room. I declined because, really dude? In the men’s room? He “sweetened the pot” by saying that he’d not only blow me but I could bugger him and, yes, he actually used that word. I again declined and more so when it was getting close to boarding time. Having been spurned and rejected, the guy got up and went to the next departure gate to begin his search anew. What was funny and in the ironic way such things can be, I was sitting next to a guy, we’re airborne and he asked me if I saw the guy who was checking out other guys and I said that I’d seen him and actually talked to him and found out why he was doing it.
“He was looking to, excuse me for saying it this way, get some married dick,” I said.
“That’s what I thought,” the man said and… reached into his pocket, pulled out his wedding ring, and placed it back on his finger. “Do you get hit on a lot by guys like him?”
“Yeah, and more than I care to admit to,” I said.
“That’s why when I get to an airport, I take my ring off,” he said.
I saw the sense of his “logic” but experience had already taught me that I can attract a guy whether I have my ring on or not, not that I have ever been in the habit of taking it off, mind you. It got better because my row partner asked me if I would have taken the guy up on his offer and I truthfully said that I wouldn’t because… the men’s room. Allowed that we both knew how… disgusting airport men’s rooms can be and the inability of some of us to direct streams into openings that are somehow very easy to miss – and some men deliberately miss because… it’s not their bathroom and they don’t have to clean up any… messes.
The man said that he would have told this guy no for the same reason I did. Well, now, isn’t that interesting? No, not really, because in my many travels while slaving away for the company I worked for, I’d had sex with more married men than single ones when I was on the road – and I’d gotten their attention because of the ring I wore on my finger and, um, sometimes, because of the color of my skin as well. And propositioned a lot more but found reason to reject the offer of sex.
That the man sitting next to me offered to jerk me off as we flew into the night… didn’t surprise me. Nor was I surprised that he preferred married men. He even offered to blow me in the lavatory, and did I know about the Mile High Club? I allowed that I did and that I was a member in good standing but, thanks, I’m good. Not worth getting caught and going through some shit with the flight crew and, more than likely, police. He was “unhappy” and, honestly, I was because he had a rather nice boner hiding in his pants. In a different situation and location…
A woman asked me, “Do you know why a dude would risk everything in a relationship just to get some dick?”
I allowed that I did know why. “It’s… kinda complicated. No, it’s not always because of sex – or a lack of sex – in the relationship but, okay, I’ll ask you to forgive me for saying this but when a guy needs a guy, all the pussy in the world isn’t going to satisfy that need. The problem, of course, is that when you’re in a relationship, you’re not allowed to do stuff like this but if you understand that needs always must, then you’d understand why anyone would take such a risk and court disaster. That and that it’s easier to beg forgiveness than it is to ask – and get – permission.”
She allowed that it was some fucked up shit. We were friends enough that she admitted that she’d slept with a married man, but it all went to hell when his wife found out. I asked her, “Why a married man? Would you have slept with him if he’d been single and, really, like you are supposed to be sleeping with?”
She had to think about that. She allowed that single dudes were… iffy. Married men, not so much. Well, they could be. She just didn’t understand why a guy would risk it all over another man’s dick.
“If you were the kind of lady who liked sex with other ladies – and you needed it and in a bad kind of way – and even though the dick you were getting was good and all that, would you take the risk to get what you need from a woman or would you resist the temptation?” I asked.
She allowed that she would resist the temptation because she is supposed to. I… pressed her by asking, “But what if you couldn’t resist it? What if you found yourself in what I’ll call that “perfect moment” when you and a woman connect with each other and even if, let’s say, you’re not into it? What if you felt it and really felt it? Would you, if only for a moment, think that getting into bed with her might be worth the risk… if you could do it and essentially get away with it?”
“I used to like you,” she said. She allowed that if the woman in question was married or in a relationship, then, yeah, it could happen like that.”
“Now you know why a man in a relationship would do the same thing,” I said. “It’s about satisfying a need that your partner cannot do a damned thing about because they are not what’s needed,” I said.
“Do I want to know how you know that?” she asked.
“Probably not,” I said. “That doesn’t change the fact that I know what I know about it. I have learned that, in such things, married people… prefer other married people. It’s forbidden and all that but married people… understand each other and in ways that single people might not. For many, it is not worth risking it all… but the reality and truth is that for others, yeah, it is worth it because needs always must even in a situation where they’re not ever supposed to. If – and I’m not implying anything – you had a choice between having sex with someone who’s married and someone who wasn’t, which person, truthfully, would you choose to have sex with?”
Her silence told me her choice and she knew that I knew. “I can’t stand you sometimes,” she said. “The married person is… the safer option but it might not really be all that safe. Single people… play too much.”
“And, again, you have answered your own question,” I said. “If you, by chance, found that you needed the touch of a woman – but you’re in a relationship – would you take on the risk so that you could get what you need?”
“I… don’t know,” she said.
“Married people do this and take the risk because as long as no one is the wiser, it’s like something I heard in the military: It’s only illegal if you get caught. Now, yes, such a thing is immoral but for some, it comes down to… what are you willing to do in order to get that which you know you need and don’t want to do without?” I asked. “And if you were to take that bold step to take care of your need for a woman’s touch, which woman would you prefer – a single one or a married one?”
“It scares me that you even know this shit,” she said – and trying to avoid answering the question, too.
“I know it because I wanted to know why married people attract single people and other married people,” I said. “We’re both married and, I’m not saying or implying anything but I would prefer to have sex with you than a single woman because… you know what it’s like to be married.”
“That’s crazy,” she said.
“I agree but it is what it has always been,” I said. “If you needed a woman, there is nothing a man is going to be able to do to satisfy that need and no matter how good in bed he is. As a man, if I needed some dick, you can have the best pussy I’ve ever hand and it will do nothing to satisfy that need. Now, it would become a question of… would it be worth losing everything with you in order to satisfy this need. Some men determine that it is. It’s all fun and games until someone gets busted and, it seems to me, that a married dude would prefer to risk it all with another married dude and because, well, we understand what it’s like to be married. Single dudes are some flaky motherfuckers, but I’ll say that most married men just aren’t. Settled. Not of a mind to be playing kiddy games. Very well-versed in managing situations. A bunch of other things that I have learned makes married people the most ideal person to have any kind of sex with… because they’re married and forbidden fruit.”
“So you’re saying that if it’s forbidden, that’s actually an attractive thing?” she asked.
“I am,” I said. “Weird how that works but it works even when it’s not supposed to. This whole thing is seriously complicated but, yeah, there are married men who are willing to risk it all… because they need dick. Doesn’t always matter why they do but the need is there and something has to be done about it because doing nothing about it ain’t cutting it.”
The morality is seriously questionable. If you’re married, you have no business wanting anything other than what you’re bound to. If I were to discount the sex I had with guys prior to being a married adult, I have had more sex with married men than single ones. Married women, too, but that’s not the point at this time and in the context of being a male bisexual. Or wanting to be. Hearing the call of cock and that very weird and powerful urge to answer it – but knowing that because you’re married, you can’t. You’d better not.
Guys looking for an FWB they can have sex with is… a thing. If the man in question is married, even more of a thing and deemed to be… the better option. Stable. Reliable. Knowledgeable. Presumed to be safe and very healthy to have sex with. My protege is often… in awe of the number of men in a relationship who are willing to risk it all to get some dick – and dick that they are morally prohibited to get but… they can legally consent to.
Many, many years ago, I sought to peform an… experiment. I removed my band of gold and set upon the world and seeking others to have sex with, both male and female. The results were… sporadic. More miss than hit. I then replaced my band of gold and sallied forth into the world and… had more sex and by a factor of two compared to when I wore not my ring. It acted like a magnet and I thought, “Ain’t this about a bitch…” because it’s not supposed to be like this. The sanctity of marriage is said to be inviolate, but it is also an idealistic illusion. I attracted more married men than single ones; most of the single ones preferred to avoid marital drama. It didn’t matter, for the purposes of the experiment, whether I had sex with these attached men or not but it was about how and why wearing my ring made a difference. Knowing that by both oath and law, we were off-limits; we were forbidden fruit that couldn’t and shouldn’t be lusted after, let alone partaken of.
Some guys who said, “Man, if I wasn’t married…” and what they would do if they weren’t but some coming to the understanding that while being married has everything to do with any of this, if they had the need, it had to be taken care of and no matter the cost or risks that all of us know about. I had permission. I hadn’t asked for it but I got it because my wife needed it and because of something I could not give her and in the way it was needed. Better to have it than to beg for forgiveness and find that you will never be forgiven for it and there will be a very heavy price to pay… but adults can consent.
On a daily basis, I get to see men, both single and not, wishing, hoping, and even praying for a married man they can invoke FWB status with. For some, eh, an unattached single FWB would do in a pinch and is, after all, better than no FWB at all. I learned that the forbidden is… very damned attractive, the temptation that no one should ever give into. Resist it. Deny that you even feel it. Go forth and sin no more.
Yeah, that doesn’t always work the way it’s supposed to because needs always must. One of the things I learned about infidelity is that it almost always happens when needs are not met or being attended to and needs that become so great that one finds reason to take matters into their own hands as well as the inherent risks involved. It doesn’t make sense, does it? It’s not supposed to make sense. Yet, when you’re bisexual, you… learn some shit about that which is supposed to make sense and the reality that says, um, yeah, no, it doesn’t. The understanding that it makes no sense to want it and deprive yourself of it and more so when it can – and does – create other problems that are, essentially, harmful and detrimental to one’s healthy and their ability to… do things the way they’re supposed to be done.
I’m not saying that it right. It isn’t. It is forbidden in many ways. I’m just the bisexual man who, at the risk of losing my “man card” will tell you about the reality we all turn a blind eye to. The reality that we insist cannot and does not exist. The “odd” thing that defies what we believe where opposites attracting is concerned because, in this, there is a… sameness which is quite attractive: Being married. The shock, awe, and even dismay to learn that you are and can be… fair game because you’re married. That’s not how it’s supposed to be; the ring is to be respected; the sanctity is to remain inviolate and beyond reproach and staying firmly in role of being that forbidden fruit that is to never be lusted, wanted, or partaken of.
The assumption and presumption that a married man is and can be… the best option when it becomes necessary to answer the call of cock and the joy of inseminating and being inseminated because, yeah, that shit feels pretty fucking good and it does… because it’s supposed to feel good. Married pussy is… da shit. Hands down. It speaks to… experience because if she wasn’t all that experienced and knowledgeable in the carnal arts, chances are she wouldn’t be married and, yes, there are exceptions that I’m not talking about. It’s… safer; more… settled than the games single people have to play in order to take care of their needs for intimacy, both sexual and emotional. You know that they… understand what it’s like to wear the ring. The good of it. What can be… inhibiting and repressive about it.
Like things, it seems, can be quite attractive but this is about commonality and… being legally allowed to consent to sex. But when you’re married, that consent is… taken away. Thou shalt not covet. Thou shalt not commit adultery. You violate the vows made and taken and lawyers will get involved and your honor besmirched because you failed to keep only unto yourselves but… needs always must.
Always. Not everyone succumbs to the call of like flesh. Or the opposite flesh. This is good. Reality is a harsh teacher, though. It no longer amazes me that one of the things that makes me attractive to another man is… the ring I wear on my finger. I am… safe. All that other stuff I’ve mentioned. And, I think, even more so when I know what it’s like to wear the ring, both the good and bad of it and, um, being bisexual, I long since learned that… getting some dick is good, too. Funny that even I would prefer a guy who is married because… he knows like I do. Single guys wouldn’t be my first choice because I know about dealing with them because I dealt with them before I wore the ring. Way too much drama and other bullshit.
It’s not that I’m immoral; I just understand some stuff about this because, if nothing else, I wanted to know why. I learned that bending the rules is… better than breaking them. In a very confusing way, I can consent but, of course, not without risk or other repercussions but I can consent. The ring… never loses it meaning. But needs must. Rule Number One in having permission is… always take care of home first. No exceptions but, yeah, sometimes, shit happens. You make room for shit to happen and especially when you’d prefer it not to because of Rule Number One.
There are many men and women who need this special permission. More than likely, they will never get it and be punished in some way for having the audacity to ask for it. In this, I have learned that when you leave someone to their own devices and it’s a condition where something becomes a matter of self-preservation, well, guess what could happen but, again, isn’t it odd that if one is willing to accept the risks, they prefer to take those risks with… someone who is also married?
Isn’t it odd that there are men and women who well and truly believe that same sex… dalliances aren’t really cheating? I thought so since I know that it is but I also know that many men and women who have given into their need to do the forbidden often get forgiven because it didn’t happen in the opposite sex way of things. I know men who would lose all of their shit to find out that their woman likes and is getting pussy. Likewise, I know women who would rain down great hell and damnation on their man and one who likes dick.
And I know a lot more who… wouldn’t blink. Or, at the worse, they’re never going to forget it and forgiveness, such as it might be, can be iffy. The seriously odd thing that suggests that taking this risk is… preferable than to voluntarily throw it all away. That the ring still has meaning but needs always must… and another ring bearer is preferable. It… makes sense even though it’s not supposed to.
In explaining this to my poly wife, I said, “Baby, I love you and I love having sex with you but when I crave dick, you don’t have one.” In her mind, I wasn’t supposed to crave dick to begin with. I sure as hell wasn’t supposed to take care of that craving but, oh, yeah, that’s right: I have permission. Having it also means not abusing it and I didn’t but when I need it, I need it and, preferably, with a guy who wears the ring because he can… understand some stuff that single people don’t really know a lot about. Not like us married people do… and that’s just being married.
And we are forbidden fruit that others find very damned attractive.