Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 20 March 23, 1559 hours

20 Mar

The conversation about male friends having sex with each other is gaining strength and steam. As I read what the membership has to say about this, some have had success in this and some haven’t and when this goes south, it tends to crash and burn in the worst ways.

The prevailing “logic” says… don’t have sex with your boy. No matter how bad either of you wants to needs to. If your boy “needs help,” well, don’t help him because it will always lead to disaster and, yup, trash the friendship. The truth is… this doesn’t always go badly… but one can drive themselves crazy just thinking, “Will he, or won’t he?” The prevailing logic gets… skewed a lot because when you’re friends – and good friends – with a guy, there isn’t a whole lot that you don’t know and find out about each other. But, then, there’s the sex thing that could happen. We say, “What are friends for?” and we maintain that if we’re friends, if I can help you, then doing so is a no-brainer unless the help you need is beyond my ability to provide it.

You kinda/sorta don’t want to tell a friend that you can’t help him but if he’s truly your friend, he’ll understand and maybe the two of you can put your heads together and find a way to resolve whatever the help is needed for. Here’s the rub, though. You and your boy are hanging, talking, doing guy stuff and if you’re like any other set of male friends, talking about sex – needing a blowjob and/or getting some pussy – as well as how you’re not getting any, who you’d love to tap, etc., is just a part of things but it takes x-amount of time before a budding friendship gets down to this very personal level.

“Man, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now,” he says.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind, either,” you says.

You both have stated a truth. It’s not a given that you and your boy are going to look at each other… and then get to blowing each other because it is assumed that both of you wouldn’t mind a woman doing it and, um, yeah, we know how that can be. As a voracious cocksucker, my “dilemma” is being with a good friend, and he says something like this and… what is he trying to tell me other than the obvious? The dilemma gets worse because chances are that he doesn’t know that I’m a cocksucker since, you know, you don’t tell your good friends everything about you; it gets compounded, at least for me, because I don’t know… anything about how he thinks and feels about such things and I learned that I’ve been friends with guys who bash homosexual men with glee… but, it’s a front; it’s just them saying things like that because others in the group of friends are saying it but, yeah, sometimes, your best friend can be a homophobe. For me, that’s a problem that doesn’t have anything to do with sex and that’ll have me reevaluating the friendship. But bear with me.

He says it; I say it, too. He’s my friend and, at the very least, I trust him… to an extent; you can imply that since I haven’t told him that I’m bisexual means that I don’t trust him that much and you’d be right. I mean, chances are that I’ve seen his dick and more than once; depending on a situation, I’ve probably seen him naked, oh, like, I’m at his crib, we’re going… somewhere; he’s just gotten out of the shower and I want to give him privacy to dry off and get dressed but he says, “Don’t be silly; we’re both guys and we don’t have anything we haven’t seen before, right?”

Right. But now, in the course of us shooting the shit or whatever, he says this and now I have to wonder about the context of what he said. Is he really saying that he wants his dick sucked by a woman or… is he hinting that if I were to suck his dick, um, that might not be a bad thing? I don’t know and I don’t know what he’s thinking other than wanting his dick sucked. Is our friendship strong enough for me to ask what he’s thinking? Probably; should I ask? Fuck if I know. Argh, this is why they say that friends shouldn’t have sex with each other or even think about it! Shit, for all I know, he wants us to suck each other off but he’s just as afraid as I am to be, ah, specific about who should suck the dicks. Do I take a chance or… leave it alone because, fuck, I’ve been wrong before and I’ve lost a few friends behind this?

What I’ll do or say next… depends on him. In other such situations, I’ve had those good friends go from talking about wanting their dick sucked to speaking “hypothetically” about what I’d do if guy asked me if he can suck my dick. Is this really a hypothetical or is he hinting at something? As many times as I’ve gone through this with a friend, I still don’t know which is which and, again, I learned some hard, painful lessons about assuming… anything. But if he’s asked me this question, how do I answer it? Okay, the best answer is the truthful one and, indeed, answering his question truthfully will tell me something more about him so I say, “Well, if a guy were to ask if he could suck my dick, I might not tell him no.”

Now to watch his reaction and pay close attention to what he says or asks next. Usually it’s, “Really? You let him blow you? I mean, why would you do that?” Again, more truth; I’d let him blow me because… I love getting my dick sucked. Now, let’s see how he handles this and, to toss the ball back into his court, I will ask him the same question that got this potential clusterfuck rolling and… will he lie or will he tell the truth because we’re friends; we can tell each other “little white lies” and that’s okay but this isn’t even in that category. And if he tries to avoid answering, that tells me something, too, oh, like he could be hiding the fact that he let some dude suck him off before.

Let’s see where this is going. This isn’t’ my first rodeo with this… uncomfortable and awkward situation. Depending on the tone of our friendship, he might be that guy who I wouldn’t blow for any reason; we’re friends but we’re not that tight. But if we are – and if we’re talking about this “hypothetically” – then we’re that tight and… I’ve already made up my mind that if this is what he’s talking about, I’ll blow him… because we’re friends like that. But… what’s really on his mind?

Please note that all of this is going through my mind at the speed of thought; from the moment he asked to the moment I tossed this back at him, only two minutes have passed. He says that, nah, I’ll pass on that. Okay; it’s a typical response but is he telling the truth or is he telling “a little white lie?” And do I really want to find out? It’s not always what a guy says that makes a difference; it’s how he says it and what his body language is saying and chances are that he doesn’t know that his body is telling me a wealth of information – but not enough, at this point, for me to want to cut to the chase and cut through the dumb shit and directly ask him if he’d like for me to suck his dick and that I would gladly do this for him… because in my thoughts and feelings, we’re friends like that.

I have learned that when such a friend “suddenly” asked, “If I asked you to suck my dick, would you?” This doesn’t mean that he wants me to; this is his way of testing me to see how I’m going to react to the question and how I answer it… and he’s about to find out why I’ve told him to never ask me a question he really doesn’t want to know the answer to. Now, if our friendship was… questionable, my “canned” response would be, “I might if we were close as friends…” and then watch his reaction. If our friendship has been pretty tight, my response would be, “If you asked, sure, I’ll blow you because I think our friendship is strong enough for that.”

Now it’s back on him or the moment where he has to shit or get off the pot. This can go either way and, yes, that last answer could destroy our friendship because I just told him something about me that he didn’t know… or maybe he suspected. Wait and see. This conversation is now about ten minutes old but it feels like we’ve been talking about it for an hour or more. I’m watching him closely and if I look close enough, I can “see” him thinking. Experience in this has taught me that if he’s for-real about wanting his dick sucked right now and now he knows that I’d do it, he might… back out and play it all off like he was “kidding” – right this moment but at a later moment, well, things might be different.

Having sex with your friend makes sense but comes with some risks and the question both of us have to answer for ourselves is… would it be worth ruining a good friendship? For me – and depending on the friend – yeah, it’s worth it because, if nothing else, this will be a severe test of our friendship and one we might not pass. It’s been about a minute since I threw the ball back at him but my “analysis” of this situation has, again, being taking place at the speed of thought and there are other things I don’t have any words for that have been going through my mind including what I’m going to do if this goes wrong.

He finally says, “Wow. I didn’t know you were down like that!”

“Well, now you know,” I say. “Does knowing this fuck up our friendship?” How he answers this question is going to be pivotal and I’ve put him into that shit or get off the pot moment; if you want your dick sucked, I’ll suck your dick because we’re friends… and now that you have me thinking about all of this, if I wasn’t horny before, I am now.

He pushes it back at me by asking, “Do you think that if we do this, it’s going to fuck shit up?” Almost classic as far as I’m concerned but I throw it right back at him by saying, “If I thought it would fuck shit up and badly, I wouldn’t have said a thing to you about this. I’m being honest and real; if you really need your dick sucked right now, I’ll suck your dick. You don’t have to do anything. If you say no, then you say no and life goes on. I’m your friend and if this is something that would make you feel better (and I damned well know that it will), then I’m good with it and, of course, no one else needs to know that it happened.”

A few moments of him asking me “the usual questions” like have I done it before and other such stuff. He now knows where I stand on this and in my head, I’m thinking that if this has fucked up our friendship, well, that’s fucked up but you do find out who your real friends are because your real and true friend would have had his dick out already because he not only wants to get sucked off, he trusts me.

In this real life situation I went through with such a friend, he said that he needed to think about it and I thought that whatever happens, happens. I’m good with it one way or the other. He took seven minutes to think about it and, yeah, I was timing him because I’ve always been interested in how long someone takes to think about this. He said, “Well, okay, um, you know, as long as nobody find outs; man, I’m seriously horny.”

I can tell. I’ve been discretely looking at his boner. We were close to my place and I took him home and gave him a blowjob he wasn’t going to forget and now it’s going to be all about what happens… after he cums. He has a… “heat of the moment” moment. I was sucking him and the next thing I know, he’s tugging on me to move and I let him move me and, oh, okay, it’s 69 time and now he’s going to town on my dick and… I hate this part and I’ll tell you why: Guys who are sucking dick for the first time tend to make me cum stupidly fast and it’s their inexperience and fumbly way that does it to me. I’m holding it back as hard as I can because I’d rather him cum first and I redouble my efforts and he blows a huge load of cum into my mouth. At this point, he’d stopped sucking me (thank you, Jesus!) and, eh, if he goes back to it, fine, but if he doesn’t, it’s not a problem: I’ve fulfilled my side of this special pact in our friendship.

But now it’s all about how he’s going to behave now that he’s busted a nut. He goes back to sucking me; I tell him I’m going to cum and add that unless he wants a mouthful of cum, now’s the time to move. He doesn’t. I cum. He… urps but swallows it. Once I remember how to talk, I ask him if he’s okay; he says he is. We’re talking and it is to note that neither of us have bothered to get dressed. We go for it again and since we’re both on our “second wind,” it takes quite a bit of time before we cum again.

The next day, he comes by to tell me… that we can’t be friends anymore. Ouch. Damn it. He says that when he got home, he thought about what we did and now he feels guilty. Tells me that I tricked him into turning into a gay motherfucker. In the space of a single thought, I go from being pissed with myself because we’re not friends to getting offended and cussing him out and telling him that since he chose to end our friendship over something he wanted to do, then go. Get the fuck out of my house and don’t show your face around here again. I had asked you if you were sure, you could handle this and I even told you that in my experience, some guys find that they can’t handle it. Grow the fuck up already; maybe one day you’ll look back at this moment and regret losing my friendship. Begone.

Instead of vacating the premises, he… wants to talk. He tells me how he was feeling when he got home and it wasn’t good. I tell him that I understand that but he had to know that as his friend, I wasn’t going to do anything to hurt him and, besides, this is a “guy thing” that friends are doing right now somewhere. It’s a big deal but it isn’t because, if nothing else, it’s just sex – a blowjob or two. I tell him that, um, while we were at it, he seemed like he was having a good time and he laughs and says that he had an amazing time – has anyone ever told me that I suck dick better than a woman can?

Yes, I’ve heard this before and more time that I care to admit to. Thanks. I just need to know if we can still be friends despite what we did because I do value your friendship. This won’t ever happen again but, well, what are real friends for? I manage to get him “calmed down” about it. Oh, hell, no – it does not mean that you’re gay or going to be! Where do guys get this stupid shit from (but I know the answer)? We’re boys; you were horny and wanted to get sucked off and so did I; no women around and it ain’t like we can roll up on a babe or babes and ask them to blow us, right? Lots of laughing. Look, we’re friends; it was just sex as far as I’m concerned and I have always been of a mind that if you can’t have sex with your friend, who can you have sex with and who are you going to trust the most – the devil you know – me – or the devil you don’t, oh, like that guy walking over there or that guy that just drove by?

He asks if I’m being real when I said that it’ll never happen again and I assure him that if he says we can never do this again, it will never happen again. He’s… asking me to reconsider that and I’m not sure if I want to. He’s letting that old saw out of his mouth: Friends should never have sex with friends. I point out to him that we did – twice. I’m not the one having a problem other than you deciding that our friendship has to end… over something you wanted me to do. Not something I made you do. Not my fault that you now hate the decision you made and I did tell you that we didn’t have to do this, didn’t I?

I tell him that we’re adults and prone to making adult decisions which often means being adult enough to stand by that decision and no matter what happened. I tell him that in this case, he obviously decided two things: The first was that we were friends and he could trust me and the second was… giving up that nice dick to be sucked and, surprise, surprise, not doing a bad job of sucking my dick, either. I didn’t ask but I’m sure you’ve done this before; what, it was your first time? Ya fooled me. Look, if our friendship is over, I’m sorry but I’m not sorry about being the kind of friend to you that I’d suck your dick.

He opined that if we were do, oh, I dunno, do it again and now, things would be better and our friendship tighter. Maybe he’s telling the truth about that or, maybe, I gave him such a hellified sucking that he wants another one. A quick pat on my own back because I like to believe that I am very good at this because I’ve been doing it for a long time. Now it’s on me to say, “Let’s do it!” or “Maybe we shouldn’t…” It… doesn’t matter to me one way or the other.

He stands up and starts getting out of his clothes. That tells me the decision he made. I undressed. I do a serious number on him because I’m a cocksucking fiend… but he’s my friend. He stayed my friend until he moved down south, and we lost contact with each other. But it had gone very wrong for a moment. I knew why it did: He busted a couple of nuts in my mouth and refraction stomped a mudhole in his ass. He thought he had made a mistake, but he made two: The other was not trusting the strength of our friendship and not trusting me.

Did I care that he wanted to end the friendship? This’ll sound fucked up: I cared… and I didn’t. I’ve had this happen too many times in my life to really be bothered by it because at the end of the day, we’re both adults; we both made an informed decision and I did tell him that at some point, some guys freak out about it and I gave him an out. He didn’t take it. Always be careful what you ask for because you just might get it… because, really, what are friends for? He needed… help with his horniness and, um, guys aren’t good at waiting to take care of it later. I was his friend; I could help him with this… and accepted the responsibility and consequences.

It is the way. I don’t regret blowing him. I made a decision and stuck to it. I won’t lie – the dick was good and he did very well, too. Our friendship survived the clusterfuck. Barely. It got better and that’s all I could hope for. That this can go wrong is a given and it really does suck and hasn’t made me feel good because I don’t like losing friends but if I’m your friend and we’re tight, sure – I’ll have sex with you because we’re friends and more so if your need is great. I can help. Let me help. You might have some regrets and I understand that; come talk to me and let me help ease your mind about it.

Because friends do that, too.

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Posted by on 20 March 2023 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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