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Category Archives: KDaddy’s General Observations

KDaddy’s General Observations: Thirty Dirty Questions (21 through 30)

Okay – here we go!

(21) In your opinion what does it mean to be good in bed?

Ooh, such an arbitrary question but being good in bed means to be able to satisfy. I grew up with this being a primary expectation; if I wanted to have sex with someone, I already knew that I would have to not only be good in bed but their idea of being good in bed. So much pressure to perform on both people and more often than not, setting each other up to fail because “good in bed” means different things to different people.

(22) Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Hell, yeah, I have! Kinda speaks to the previous question about being sexually daring. She says, “Let’s do it right here, right now!” and, well, okay – because this might be a one-time offer; the need has to be taken care of right now instead of waiting to get somewhere more private. The adrenaline rush of knowing that you could be seen doing it… and by the police, who doesn’t have a sense of humor about stuff like this. I’m game if you are… because why not?

(23) When and how did you lose your virginity, and how did you feel about it? How did you feel about it now?

I lost my virginity when I was eight years old and at the hands of a girl who was at my birthday party and she didn’t have a gift to give me and she gave me the gift of her body and taught me how to have sex with her. I’m not gonna say that I “knew” what to do or that I “completely understood” it… but I caught on pretty quick and how I felt about it then was… beyond exciting and interesting; this was the sex thing I’d heard about and told not to do? Wow! It was weird but it felt really good!

How I feel about it now. Grateful. I understand what it took for her to give me this gift. Seriously spoke to the misconception that adults think that young kids don’t know about sex and she was “only” two years older than I was and she knew about it and knew how to show me how to put it in her and move so it would feel good to both of us. The best birthday present I’ve ever gotten in my whole life.

(24) Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time, watched others have sex, been watched? If not, would you?

Hell, yeah, I have. Grew up having sex like this and many, many times before I was an adult. Many, many more times as an adult. Such an exciting and very intimate way to have sex and to watch it being done. I’ll say that the first time I had sex like this, yeah, it was kinda weird knowing that there were others watching me but I got over it and I wasn’t going to be a chicken about it.

(25) How often do you masturbate and what works best for you?

Well, um, I’m a guy so I masturbate as often as I can… and, yeah, I’m thinking this is a “girl question” since I know that there are a lot of women who don’t masturbate. What works best for me? It’s not only that internal imagery but remembering being in the moment with someone as well as being in the moment of what I’m doing.

(26) What are you most grateful or thankful for in your sex life?

Learning that I was bisexual and when I learned it and thankful that I wasn’t an adult and having to try to make sense of it.

(27) What is your favourite sexual position and why?

Methinks this is another “girl question” but my favorite position is with the woman (or guy) on top because it allows them to give themselves a lot of pleasure while giving me a lot of pleasure. I also like the position where the woman (or man) is sitting in my lap because it allows us to be physically connected and we can kiss and hold each other and with the added “trick” of neither of us moving – and resisting the urge to move. Whew. That’s pretty intense…

(28) Have you ever had an “inappropriate” crush? What was it about that person that drew you in, and what made it “not okay”?

Sure, and more times than I care to admit to – but that also depends on what “inappropriate” means. I’ve been married and had crushes on married women because they’re just so damned interesting as a person and/or I found them to be very sexually exciting… and, of course, what made it not okay was both of us being married. But is it really inappropriate? Yes… and not really if you understand what’s really going on in these moments.

(29) Have you (or would you) ever tried role play? What roles are you drawn to?

Um, yeah, since a lot of the games we played as kids usually involved sex, like playing “House” or “Doctor.” That was then; in the here and now? I’m not a fan of role playing and, honestly, I suck at it so there are no roles that I’m drawn to.

(30) Are you more dominant or submissive (or a bit of both)?

Hmm. I’m wondering about the context of this because, as a man, I’m supposed to be dominant, but I also understand that it’s okay to be in the submissive role with a dominant woman and I’m not talking about BDSM stuff. The thing I’ve learned about sex is that both people can be dominant and submissive at the same time since sex is supposed to be give and take. In this context, I’d have to say that I’m… adaptable because I have to be and depending on the person I’m having sex with and whether they’re male or female because, well, this seems to mean a lot to some folks and depending on how they view their role in having sex and among men, this means… something else.

Still, it’s not a question of my being dominant in these things because, again, as a man, that’s how I’m supposed to be… but I’ve also been very damned submissive with some women who have been of a mind to just take me and in whatever way they want to… and I’m more than good with that because why should I be the only “dominant” person in this? Rhetorical question because I know the answer. But I’m not dominant or submissive in the context of things BDSM… because my mind just does not work like that; tried it, made me throw up afterward.

Sigh. I’m reading the last ten questions and, yeah, thinking that this is more of a “girl thing” than it is a “guy thing” but that’s fine since answering them just might give some… perspective being a guy and answering these questions that, once more, I don’t think are all that dirty but are ones that, at least for me, are just… rather normal – but I can see how women could answer differently and I’ve read gemmi72’s answers and they’re quite interesting.

Y’all might read my answers and think, “Well, you are a guy – duh!” and I am… but I’m not your “average” kind of guy because the way I learned about sex and sexuality had me asking questions that I needed the answers to and, as such, I’ve learned some stuff about sex that tends to make most people… nervous and uncomfortable but I know why… and I’m just not like that. Sex is supposed to be fun but, eh, that’s not how we tend to go about it and we do let past failures and disappointments fuck up being able to have sex in the here and now… and I learned to not do that and that if I’m not going to be fearless and adventurous – and without being careless – then, hmm, methinks that’s a problem.

But that’s me and, yes, my bisexuality very much affected how I see sex and how I go about having it. Absolutely no shame whatsoever and because of this, yeah – I don’t think the questions are all that dirty… and if I did have any… sexual issues, I wouldn’t have tried to answer the questions because one of the things that has been taboo is… talking about having sex – period. Even to the point where we can’t talk about sex with the person we’re having sex with. It’s been my mission in life to not be like that.

To gemmi72 – and whom I thank for being able to do this – how did I do?

 
 

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KDaddy’s General Observations: Thirty Dirty Questions (1 through 10)

gemmi72 (https://corruptingmrsjones.wordpress.com/) posted thirty dirty questions and I enjoyed reading her answers so after doing the one hundred question posts, I thought, “What the hell – find the questions and answer them!”

(1) How do you define awesome sex (i.e., what makes sex better than good)?

Awesome sex leaves you so pleasantly trashed; being pushed to your limits and then pushed further; it’s a much deeper intimate experience than “good sex” is; good sex takes the edge off but awesome sex leaves you wondering what dump truck ran you over and who was driving it.

(2) How do you feel about public displays of affection (PDA)? You can take this as far as kinks in public.

I’m all for them; showing affection shouldn’t be limited to being behind closed doors. I mean, I might not do, um, certain things in public as a show of affection but, sure – kissing, holding hands, walking and cuddling? Why not? I know some folks have a… prudish mindset about PDAs but that’s their problem and never mine.

(3) What are your sure-fire turn ons and/or turn offs?

Oh boy. Almost anything is a sure-fire turn-on for me but what turns me off is, well, shit, that “dead body” routine I’ve experienced too many times. Sex should be mutually engaging and never that scene from “The Color Purple.” Just going through the motions is quite the turn-off, too.

(4) What do you think about when you masturbate?

Great question. I think about any or all of the sex I’ve ever had and just let my mind pick the moments that lend themselves to the level of excitement that makes masturbating a joy. There are times when I masturbate and all I’m thinking about is how badly I need to get off this way but, sheesh, it’s like this is the intent and I’m not really thinking at this point – I’m just doing it.

(5) What are your thoughts about porn?

Ooh, I have a lot of thoughts about it and some aren’t good at all. It’s been my contention that porn is art exaggerating life but I know that what I’m seeing isn’t what’s really going on – I know how they make it and edit it. I think that too many people watch porn and get it into their head that whatever they’re watching is the way sex is supposed to be done and that’s not a good thing because it can set up unrealistic expectations or have your partner breaking the mood by asking you, “What the fuck are you doing?” On the other hand, since porn puts sex on display and often in spectacular fashion, it’s… grounding to just watch sex happening and being able to see the primal beauty and nature of it.

(6) What are your thoughts on foreplay? Favourite types. Best experiences. Wishes?

Well, hmm – that depends on who I’m having sex with and if they’re male or female. As a guy, you just know that women need foreplay to get in the mood and warmed up; you also learn that what works on one woman might not work on the next one… or the same one again. When it’s me and a guy, well, just like with women, it’s all about what is allowed and what isn’t, like, a lot of guys don’t like kissing other guys and, well, let’s just skip this part, fondle each other, give head and whatever else is on the menu.

My favorite types of foreplay are almost anything oral. Ya mon! Best experiences? That would be any time the foreplay winds up being better than the sex that happens. I’ve been sexually active for so long – and have had so much diverse sex in my life to date that I’m not sure I have any wishes where foreplay is concern. I’ve always understood that it’s not always about what I want to do but what the other person wants, prefers, ain’t gonna do, don’t like that, so on and so forth.

(7) What parts of your lover’s body are you most drawn to? If you don’t currently have a lover consider past or future lovers.

Pretty much her whole body; I just want to eat her alive and from head to toe. But as the part(s) most drawn to, that would be her ass and hips.

(8) Consider a moment in your life of great sensuality, eroticism or sexuality. Then answer the questions that Mary Oliver does in her poem, “Gratitude” as they apply to that moment.

Well, first, I have to find and read the poem so hold on for a moment (it’s now 4:42pm EST, 02 August.)

Okay, It’s now 4:45pm and I found it, read it, and I have the questions.

8a. What did I notice? To put into perspective, one such moment of sensuality and sexuality was the first time I made love to my boyfriend and what I noticed was how… deliciously weird it was to be with him and knowing in my heart and soul that I did and truly love him… and now we were about to celebrate our love.

8b. What did you hear? My heartbeat pounding in my ears; the harshness of my breathing as I fell into his embrace, and we kissed for the first time.

8c. When did you admire? What an odd question but I admired him the moment he told me that he was in love with me. I understood how much… nerve it took for him to tell me this and how afraid he was, too.

8d. What astonished you? That’s easy: Me realizing that I was in love with another man and something I had previously deemed impossible.

8e. What would you like to see again? Also easy: That moment when I saw in his eyes how vulnerable he was.

8f. What was most tender? That first kiss. Whew. No joke – it was orgasmic.

8g. What was most wonderful? See 8f.

8h. What did you think was happening? I wasn’t sure in that moment. I knew what we were going to do and, oddly, I knew what was happening but wasn’t sure why it was and that was because I hadn’t really processed that he professed his love for me and how it echoed inside of me when I never dreamed such a thing was possible.

(9) I you were to recreate the early days of your favourite sexy relationship, what would they look like? Would you change anything?

Intense. Scary. I’m specifically thinking about the relationship I had with a woman who was just as married as I was and the chemistry between us was… intense. Scarier than anything I’d ever experienced before. There was no escaping making love because we both knew it had to happen and we still resisted. So damned powerful, lusty, amazing, astonishing, and a whole lot of other words I can’t think of that adds up to me saying that I wouldn’t change a single thing.

(10) What would you want more of in your sex life?

Um, more sex? A lot more oral sex since I have zero qualms about how much I love giving head and not just as a method of foreplay.

I’m kinda thinking that these questions just might be better suited toward women, especially Question #8 and I really had to think on the questions asked in the poem… and kinda proud of myself that I’m… deep enough to have been able to answer them. Oh, and so far, I don’t see anything particularly “dirty” about these questions but maybe that’s just me and understanding that I have an… interesting way to look at sex and intimacy that, perhaps, a lot of guys may not have, which I’m thinking is what’s making answering them… interesting.

 
 

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KDaddy’s General Observations: Email Spammers

I gotta hand it to email spammers: They’re becoming quite clever in their attempts to get you to click on whatever links they’ve put in their email and because they know that some people will be… curious enough to take their bullshit for a real thing and click the link..

And wind up regretting that they did. One of the reasons why I use Outlook as my email client is that I can see the address of the person sending me mail and I know how to access the header information that’ll tell me where the message really came from… but that’s what I used to do for a living.

Then add in the fact that I know who should be sending me emails and especially when I have multiple accounts, like how I get emails from “Facebook” telling me some shit about my account… but where I got the email? I don’t have a Facebook account attached to that email address.

Getting my junk mail folder overloaded with spam is now one of those things to be expected and, admittedly, a lot of it is hilariously funny and rather inventive, like the one that T-Mobile allegedly sent me about winning a brand-new iPhone 13… when I already have one. Or the ones I get saying that my package can’t be delivered so click this link to get my package… when I know good and damned well that I haven’t ordered anything and the message is sent to an email address I don’t use for ordering things online.

They’ve gotten so clever that some of their bullshit arrives and uses banners like Amazon or some other known entity and, um, why would I be getting an email from Verizon telling me that they’re going to shut down my account… when I don’t have an account with them? Or the ones I’ve been getting lately that appear to be from Microsoft and informing me that someone’s been trying to access my account and I should click here to check things out… but the URL for the link doesn’t have shit to do with Microsoft and, well, it’s not the spammers fault that they don’t know that I know and even when they try to hide the link, I can just hover over it and Outlook will show me the URL.

I think they’re a bunch of idiots but, again, a lot of people will panic if they think the email is legit and one of the more hilarious ones was the one I got from the IRS telling me about a tax bill to be paid… when I don’t pay taxes anymore and I know that the IRS would never send an email in the first place. Now, sometimes, this crap gets past the Microsoft Exchange servers but that’s also why Outlook has the feature of being able to mark something as spam – and it creates a blacklist that if it sees it again, it’ll automatically go to my junk mail folder or, as added anti-spam protection, if it’s not on the whitelist – those emails it thinks is spam but I know it isn’t – then right to the junk mail folder it goes.

It’s not infallible; I often have legit emails wind up in the junk folder and, honestly, it’s something I’m not used to… but that’s because I spent a whole career being on the other side of an Exchange server and, yeah, I know how it works and that enterprise level and combination of Exchange and Outlook does behave differently and dependent upon what anti-spam software the servers have installed and running; it would drive me nuts getting trouble tickets from users complaining about their legit emails going to spam and them not understanding that it’s really not possible to totally and completely eliminate this… unless they’d like for me to remove their account.

One of the things I love about Outlook is that it’ll convert any URLs in an email it sees as spam to text, which effectively deactivates the URL and keeps any hidden code from running by itself. I use Malwarebytes as well; it’s proven to be very effective in keeping our computers free of the shit that can cause major problems for us and our machines… and I have to admit that Windows Defender has gotten somewhat better and it plays nice with other anti-virus/anti-spam/anti-malware software on the market.

The spammers don’t know that I know stuff like this… and I’m not of a mind to tell them. I will tell y’all to really pay attention to the emails you get and especially those you’re not expecting to get; if you haven’t ordered anything online but get an email from “FedEx” saying that you need to click this link to get your package, just send it to your junk mail folder. I will tell you that if you don’t have software on your computer or phone that’ll keep spam and other bad shit away from you, get some and, yeah, I have Malwarebytes on my phone, too, and, eh, I wouldn’t trust free versions of such software because they may not provide all the protection that’s possible.

The biggest and most important advice I can give about this is… be smarter than the spammers. I know too many people who wind up getting jacked up or their device does because they’ll see what looks like a legit email, wonder “what the fuck is this” and not only open it but click the link and, again, wish that they hadn’t. Spammers prey upon the fact that most people don’t really pay that much attention to their emails or, if they do, not all email clients allow you to see the other information that would tell you that this is spam, oh, like, I’m pretty sure that Amazon doesn’t use Gmail to communicate with customers.

I’m still laughing about the one I supposedly got from T-Mobile about being selected to receive… the same iPhone I already have and, well, you’d think that since I do have T-Mobile as my carrier, they also know what phone I have… so why are they selecting me to get a phone and free at that? The obvious answer is… they aren’t but this clever spammer is hoping that I believe them. My lady showed me something about a person who got scammed for over $1,500 for a Verizon bill… that they didn’t really have. Whoever put this info out there included a pic of the email this person got and, yep, it has the Verizon banner on it.

What the person who got scammed should have done was to ask themself why Verizon was sending them a bill like this… and if they had Verizon (and I’m assuming that they did), they should have called them and asked what the fuck was this email about but, apparently, that’s not what they did… and now they’re out of $1,500. Did the spammer know that this person had Verizon? Probably not… but that’s why they call it phishing because they can reasonably assume that they can send this shit to enough email addresses and someone is going to fall for it because they do have Verizon… and not likely to think that, um, there’s no reason for their bill to be that high.

This wouldn’t be that big of a problem if companies who legitimately have our email information did a better job of preventing data breaches and they were to stop the practice of selling email lists in the first place. Yeah, I get that while the address is ours, when it’s in their systems, it’s their data and they can do whatever the fuck they want to with it and if your email wind up on the dark web because they sold it to someone, well, that’s not their problem…

But it could wind up being yours and it’s a business practice that needs to be outlawed and more so if companies are really serious about protecting our online privacy. They get away with it because they hide it in their conditions, which is couched in so much legalese that almost no one ever really reads it; they just click “Accept” and go on from there and without realizing that them telling you how they’re going to use your data could also include them selling it to make some extra money.

If it looks to be too good to be true – and you’re not expecting such an email – it’s probably spam and, well, don’t read it or click on it – just do whatever your email client can do about sending it to junk and, hopefully, you won’t see it again… but you might because one of the holes in this whole thing is the inability to validate email addressed and/or the domain name being used; as long as an email address has something before the ampersand (@) and it’s something with a period and a followed legitimate domain identifier like .com, .net, etc., the SMTP/IMAP mail servers will allow it through unless the literal address has been flagged as being spam on that end of the email process.

And spammers learned a long time ago how to fool an SMTP server because as long as the format of the address is correct – “something@something.com” – it’ll be delivered to you even if it’s spam and now it’s up to you to put it in its proper place: Your junk mail folder and, oh, yeah, don’t forget to empty it and, preferably, once you’re finished reading your legit emails and just get in the habit of doing it.

You just have to be smarter than the spammers and, again, use the software and apps that are available to help keep the spam away from your inbox unless you’re like me and you get a kick out of how stupid spammers really are…

 
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Posted by on 1 August 2022 in KDaddy's General Observations

 

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KDaddy’s General Observations: 100 Questions (81 Through 100)

Time to put this puppy to bed!

81. Would you marry a friend if they needed you to (e.g., for citizenship)?

I dunno… I might if I had a friend that I really liked that much and right now, I don’t have a foreign friend. Marriage is still some serious stuff and I’m still “traditional” enough to see marriage as something that’s not to be played with. We marry for love but we also marry for convenience and in this, it’s one of those “What’s in it for me?” things other than helping a friend and, well, that’s a big ask and, honestly, I don’t know how I’d feel to get married and wind up divorced after the green card has been approved and issued and they’re here and in the wind. They say that no good deed goes unpunished… and there’s a lot of truth to that.

82. Are you a deep person?

I am even though I don’t think that I am, but I also don’t think that’s unusual for anyone.

83. Given a chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth, but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it?

On the one hand, sure – sign me up! I’ve always been a “space cadet” so to go to Mars? On the other, um, no, I’ll pass since Mars is probably a nice place to visit but you’d not want to live there and, realistically, I’d never pass the physical – should have asked me this when I was like 25.

84. Are you who people think you are?

I think I am, but you’d have to ask others who they think I am. I am genuinely and consistently… me.

85. Do you think you would be happier if you had been born a different gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality or religion?

Off-hand, I’d have to say no. Again, the word “gender” makes me cringe and it would be accurate to ask if I’d be happier had I been born a different sex rather than gender. As far as sexuality goes, I’m bisexual and I wouldn’t ever want to change that and having been to a few countries in the world, I wouldn’t want to be anything other than American and I’m not sure if religion could do or say anything that would make me happy even if any of that other stuff were to be different.

86. What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it?

I’m pretty sure that I don’t have any toxic traits, and no one has ever told me that I do. I don’t like conflict and I sure don’t like drama but, I mean, sure – some people don’t like me, and it is what it is, but I also know that over all this time, I have always been trying to improve myself because the goal in life is to be the best you can be and, well, I don’t do toxic to begin with. The question implies that I know there’s something toxic about me, doesn’t it and if there was, what makes you think that I’d actually admit that I’m a toxic person? Okay, yeah, I would but methinks this is eye of the beholder stuff and what someone else would think is toxic about me and then whether I would agree with them or not… and I might not give too many fucks about what they think.

87. Do you anger easily?

No, but as the line in the movie went, you wouldn’t want to see me angry. I learned a long time ago that I have a nasty temper that I also learned to keep under control since anything that would make me angry would also call for me keeping myself in check so that I can deal with whatever angered me. I do get angry, and you or something would really have to push my buttons to get me angry.

88. Are you a jealous person?

Nope. I’ve experienced some rather specific things that taught me not to be jealous.

89. If you lost all of your memories, would you have the same personality?

Probably not and if I lost all of my memories, how would I know what my personality was before I lost my memories other than someone who knows me telling me about some stuff? Like, the stroke I had wiped some of my memories and that changed my personality but not so much that I’m really all that different from the way I was before the stroke. Personality is something you wind up developing and based on whatever inputs you’re getting from your environment and, yeah, what memories you develop and it’s always subject to change.

90. Given the chance to reset your life (with none of the knowledge you currently have), would you take it?

No, I wouldn’t take it.

91. Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate?

I would say that it is. Who do I hate? No one and I try not to hate anyone and, honestly, if I hate you, you can believe you did something seriously dastardly to make me hate you. I can not like someone – and there’s a lot of people I don’t like but as the saying goes, hate is a strong word and one that shouldn’t be used casually or lightly.

92. Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn?

I speak and read French and have forgotten much of the Japanese I learned. I dream in English, well, as far as I know and the language I would want to learn is… Spanish. I had a choice in high school to take French or Spanish and I chose French… and years later realized that Spanish would have been the better choice. I’d want to relearn Japanese, too.

93. Do you draw meanings from your dreams or do you disregard them?

No – I tend to disregard them but often wonder why I dreamed something, but I’ve never believed that dreams mean anything other than that’s the time my subconscious does whatever it does when I’m dreaming.

94. How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately?

I like to think that I love unconditionally and maybe even gently….

95. Is unrequited love real love?

Love is… love. Here’s the mistake we make: Love isn’t what you feel but what you do about it and what you expect the person you love to do and that includes them accepting that you love them. I think, in the answer to another question about love, I mentioned the woman I had an affair with and how damned powerful the love we felt for each other was and it was unlike anything either of us had ever experienced before. That we loved each other was a given and we talked about what could be done as well as agreeing that we shouldn’t do anything about it and, well, that didn’t work. She taught me that there’s nothing you can do about the way you feel, and you can only do something about what you might do (or want to do) about it and the only thing one should do is to accept that this is how they feel about someone… even if that love isn’t returned or even acknowledged.

It’s still the way you feel.

96. Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you?

First, this question is poorly constructed. I would have written, “Is your perception of yourself the same as others perceive you?” The answer to the question is… probably not since others perceive me differently.

97. Are you overly analytical?

Yep.

98. Do you ever feel that you’re a terrible person and only act good out of societal or some other obligation?

Oh, fuck no. Having said that, I know that I have to play nice with others and in situations where I’d rather not and say I did but I have never felt like I’m a terrible person.

99. Do you believe in magic? Are you superstitious?

No and no. Magic is some cool stuff and cooler because I can’t do it, but I’d love to learn it. I’m too overly analytical to be superstitious.

100. What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe it?

I’m not sure if I have one since the way my mind works, if it’s not logically grounded, I’m probably not going to believe it. Belief is a funny thing in that it’s not always about that which is logical but can be about your perception of something and we tend to give that which we believe more weight and power than we do the truth or reality of something. Okay, hold my coffee cup for a moment…

What I believe in are the things I’ve overly analyzed until it’s seen as being the truth and as I can understand it and until proven not to be the truth and with the understanding that I could be wrong. For instance, I used to believe in the sanctity of marriage until reality came along and bitch-slapped me into disabusing me of that belief. I understand it but, logically, it doesn’t make sense to believe in something like this that can easily be proven to be, well, not wrong but not the whole truth of things.

I believe in love… and there’s nothing logical about it. I believe in God but there’s no logic to support the belief, but having said that, I don’t believe in religion since, you know, I’ve overly analyzed it and have seen that it’s not the whole truth of things but what others insist and demand to be believed. Take it on faith that it’s the truth and I have a problem with that. I’m sighing heavily over this last question because I know what I believe and why I do but I’ve seen the… necessity in reviewing, rethinking, and even changing that which I believe because one of the things I believe is that we let our beliefs make us static and to the point that even when one learns that what they believe isn’t the truth, we’re not all that likely to abandon that belief for something that can be undeniably and logically proven.

Like how people believe that everyone should be heterosexual, but the proven reality is that not everyone is – but the belief persists and gets reinforced because we believe what religion says about it and, as such, this belief can make one static… unless or until they find or see reason to abandon the belief and in favor of the reality of things. The “problem” with believe is that we have a hard-wired need to believe in something… even if we believe that we don’t have any beliefs.

Humans are clinically insane and our beliefs are often at the root of our insanity and more so when we’re not of a mind to change them even after being presented with empirical proof that says otherwise.

And… that’s a wrap. This has been interesting and more so when I think that if I were to do this again, oh, say, a year or more from now, my answers could be different. Hmm. I’d like to once again thank Christopher Teese for sharing these 100 questions with me – it’s been fun!

 
 

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KDaddy’s General Observations: 100 Questions (65 Through 80)

65. What age should people be allowed to vote? Should children and teenagers be allowed to vote?

When I was growing up, you had to be 21 to vote because that’s the age you had to be to be a legal adult – then they changed the law to make 18 being the legal age of adulthood and being able to vote. As to the questions of children and teens who aren’t 18 being allowed to vote? Um, shit. I’d not say that some youngsters aren’t astute enough to be able to make what has always been considered to be an adult decision and even then based upon a presumed understanding of the clusterfuck we call politics but clearly 18 is stil being a teenager but makes one a legal adult (unless local laws mandate being 21) but, no – lowering the voting age even lower might not be a good thing.

66. How do you feel about the idea of ‘an eye for an eye’?

Well, for one, it’s not an idea and no more than ‘turning the other cheek’ is an idea – they’re things that we believe to be the way we’re supposed to behave. You do me dirty and, on the one hand, I should do you dirty but on the other, I shouldn’t because when you’re thinking about revenge, first, dig two graves and it’s a dish that is best served cold but, nope, that’s not the way to be. I feel that if you don’t fuck with my “eye,” you won’t have a reason to worry about yours.

67. What’s the worst thing a person can be?

Someone who has no regard for life, theirs or anyone else’s.

68. How do you feel about monogamy?

It sucks because it is inherently flawed and more so when it doesn’t have any room for people to change one way or the other and, well, it sucks.

69. Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else?

Yes, and that’s why monogamy sucks because it implies that you cannot love more than one person at a time.

70. What is the tragedy of your life?”

Knowing that nothing is forever, and that death comes for us all.

71. Would your life make a good play?”

Sure, if ya didn’t mind how, um, XXX-rated it could be.

72. Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time?

Um, nope – how is that considered to be justice? Like, it’s a crime to not wear your seat belt when you drive but I grew up and had learned to drive before this law existed so, what, I’m going to be prosecuted for not wearing a seat belt because there was no law that said I had to? That’s a minor and maybe even exaggerated example but it doesn’t make sense to be prosecuted now for something that wasn’t a crime at the time it was committed. Something that’s not a crime right now becomes one and because it’s a crime so from that point forward, if you commit the new crime, you should be prosecuted for it – but not because you did something that wasn’t a crime before it was.

73. Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation?

I have fought for my country, and I do feel a sense of loyalty to it.

74. Do you believe in gender equality in every aspect?

I believe that men and women shouldn’t be treated differently in anything.

75. Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent?

Yes, we do and to whatever extent we’re capable of.

76. Do you crave approval and/or praise?

These days? Not so much but there was a time where I did… but that’s not unusual because I think we all do. Pat us on the head (or on the butt) when we do good and if we don’t, well, let’s not say anything about that because even the best constructive criticism is not easy to hear or accept. If you don’t approve of something I’ve said or done, well, too bad. If you praise me for something, eh, let’s not make that big of a deal out of it, okay? We all want to be… wanted. We need approval from those we want it from and because it’s critical to our sense of self and tells us if we’re doing things right or not so much. “Crave” is an interesting word in this context because it can imply an obsession and making one an attention seeker which isn’t a good thing.

77. Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy?

If you believe, have read, and understand William Shakespeare, yes, there is. That dude had an interesting way of looking at life and such as it was back then.

78. Are you ever going to be satisfied?

Nope.

79. When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy?

Both. Depends on what made me feel sad and I’ve learned there is music that goes well to make me feel the sadness while lifting me up at the same time.

80. Is your music organized by mood or sensation or do you listen to everything at any time?

Yeah, my music is organized like that, but I also listen to whatever I want to listen to and regardless to my mood or whatever. Indeed, a lot of my organized music is done in a way to reflect any mood or sensation I might be experiencing from making me contemplative to having me jumping up and dancing and singing and from one song to the next.

Almost at the end of the 100 questions. I think the questions are more interesting than my answers…

 
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Posted by on 31 July 2022 in KDaddy's General Observations

 

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KDaddy’s General Observations: 100 Questions (49 Through 64)

Halfway through the 100 questions and the thing that’s been sticking in my mind is… who came up with them and why…

49. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others?

Yeah, sure I do but not so high that things become unreachable for myself; I believe in working smarter, not harder and if there are standards that I can’t reach, how can I expect someone else to be able to?

50. What do you expect from a friend or partner?

I expect them to be themselves; anything else is unrealistic and it’s one of life’s lessons that one should learn and the sooner, the better for one and all.

51. What question could you ask to find out the most about a person?

Depends on the person. In my younger days, I learned that I could find out a lot about a person by asking them about… sex. Generally speaking. Sometimes, it wasn’t what they said but what they didn’t say that would tell me a lot about them and that included paying attention to their body language. These days, there are too many questions I could think of that can be tailored to find out whatever I wanted to know about someone other than the one I just mentioned.

52. Do you justify all your beliefs or have you just inherited/absorbed some?

Yet another interesting question. I learned that humans can justify anything they do or say and being able to justify my beliefs is just what everyone does… but I also learned that what I believe might not be the truth of things so it’s not so much justifying my beliefs but trying to verify them or if I believe X, what is the basis for believing it and would I really be justified in believing X? I probably inherited and/or absorbed some beliefs and more likely when I was growing up but later discarded them or debunked them.

53. Which beliefs to you have that is most likely to be wrong?

*Should be “Which beliefs do you have that are mostly likely to be wrong?”*

The answer is I don’t know, and I wouldn’t know until I had reason to question a belief. I have accepted that anything I know – and that which I may believe – could be wrong but it’s not wrong until it’s proven to be wrong.

54. Can humans really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time?

We’re trying to and our understanding is increasing every day using the tools we invented/created for the express purpose of trying to understand the universe, space and even time.

55. Is a conscious that makes someone a person?

Yeah, because there’s no other explanation that I’m aware of. Cognito ergo sum – I think, therefore, I am. The “bad” part is that we don’t know why we are conscious and that’s because we still don’t really know how our brains work.

56. What do you think about artificial intelligence?

As a computer scientist, I think it’s pretty cool and despite all the horror stories about an AI deciding to make humans extinct. We have AIs now and as developed by IBM, Microsoft, and others and most people are totally unaware of what they do when doing something as ordinary as searching the Internet for something. People have been worried about an AI taking over the world and I hate to tell you that computer systems have already done that and if you have a cellphone, there you have it.

57. Do you think humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think it’s a bad thing?

I don’t think we are so much obsessed as it is just a thing we do since, realistically, the only way to escape life is to not be alive. We have an inherent need to keep our minds occupied and stuff like going to school and working tends to occupy our minds a lot so “escaping” the day-to-day rat race stuff by doing something other than rat race stuff makes sense. I read, play video games, listen to music, etc., and I’m not escaping anything so much as I’m doing things I love to do when I’m not doing the stuff I’m supposed to be doing. If reading books is an obsession, I’m seriously guilty of being obsessed but I think “obsessed” is too harsh a word to be used in this context.

58. Are we eventually going to ‘run out’ of new combinations for music, art, language, etc.? Is there a limit to human creativity?

If there’s a limit, we’re not aware of it so, as such, I don’t think we’re going to run out of these things any time soon.

59. What do you think the next era of music will be like?

I’m a musician and I don’t know the answer to this. I think it’s more about how we listen to music that’s really changing and us looking for a more immersive and, perhaps, interactive experience when we listen to music. There can be new genres and styles as well as new ways to perform music and as technology is able to provide but I have no idea what a next era will be like.

60. What do you think the next era of fashion will be like?

I don’t much care about fashion but what I’ve been seeing in the here and now makes me wonder if designers need medication and therapy…

61. Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them?

I think that depends on what one believes, like the many people I’ve heard say that we’re fulfilling Revelations’ prophecy of the end of the world happening and Jesus Christ is on his way. Having said that, humans have always lived in tumultuous times because we’re responsible for creating them.

62. Would you want to meet a clone of yourself? Would you like them?

I used to wish that I had a twin and wonder what it would be like to look at someone who looks just like you but is also different because we all experience things differently. There are so serious ethical things about cloning – only God can create life and we’re not gods so we shouldn’t be doing that – but we have the technology to do it – we’ve cloned animals like cows and sheep – and if I were to meet my clone, well, maybe I’d like them or not and depending on how our experiences are different.

63. How confident are you?

That depends on what you mean by asking the question – what’s the context? I am supremely confident in myself because why wouldn’t I be? One of life’s lessons is that if you lack confidence, you don’t have anything.

64. How consistent is your perception of time?

Since I’m now old enough to have to put up with tests of my cognitive abilities, my time sense gets tested and I’m pretty consistent – I’m usually off by a couple of minutes when I get tested… but there’s some interesting theories about time itself and whether it’s a real thing or something we “created” to be able to interact with our environment. We know what time is and can take it down to picoseconds and femtoseconds but our perception of it can be different based on what we’re observing, how we’re observing it, and when we are.

But, yeah, that’s what watches and calendars are for, so I don’t have to be all that consistent.

I think this is it for the day… maybe.

 
 

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KDaddy’s General Observations: 100 Questions (32 Through 48)

Okay, so I decided not to wait until tomorrow!

32. Do you believe in star signs?

I can’t say that I believe in them but I know about them since I came from the generation that liked to ask, “What’s your sign?” I think the real question is whether my star sign, Libra, matches who I think I am and, eh, sometimes it does and it doesn’t and depending on who’s writing this stuff. The ones regarding how sexy and/or sensual someone is or isn’t are often interesting.

33. How old do you have to be to be considered an adult?

Well, the law says you have to be 18 but many still say that you’re ‘really’ an adult at 21. I know that I wasn’t considered to be a “real adult” until I was 30 and showed that I could handle being married with children which is messed up but that’s just how it can be determined by some folks. We’re pretty weird about age…

34. Was your childhood happy?

I’d say it was right up to the moment my parents separated.

35. What are you missing from your life?

I dunno. If there’s something I’m missing, I don’t know about it yet.

36. Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along?

Yes and we got along fabulously!

37. Do opposites attract?

Apparently, they do. Along with Question 36, this gets interesting because it’s all about being able to establish commonality and ‘sameness’ but being attracted to that which is different in some way.

38. Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago?

Yeah, pretty much.

39. Do you know what you want out of life?

I knew what I wanted when I had and was told to consider this, and I got it. Career, family, children, and all that stuff were things I wanted, and I got them and… life goes on and the adventure continues.

40. What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’?

I don’t know the answer to the first part because ‘good’ is arbitrary despite it being socially defined. Am I good person? I’d like to think so although in certain things, it’s fun being bad.

41. What fundamentally matters to you?

Staying alive for as long as possible; at this point in my life, that’s the only thing that really matters.

42. Is freewill an illusion?

Depends on who you’re talking to. As stated in a previous question about fate, I feel as if I’ve had free will to make the choices and decisions I’ve made and even failed to make. Still, it has been implied that we do have free will but, again, some things feel… fated. Like destiny. Depends on what you believe.

43. Do you create art? How do you define art?

As a musician, I have created art. How do I define it? I’m happy to accept the general definition of what art is but methinks it’s talent and creativity and being able to conceive something and make it real and tangible. Or something like that.

44. How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful?

Ooh, what an interesting question! I don’t lie all that often so I’m generally truthful, but I’ve never believed that all lying is inherently bad because it depends on why you’re lying and the intent of it. I think it’s a knee-jerk reaction we all have because telling the truth at all times is considered to be a virtue even if someone is harmed by it and, well, how does that make any sense? In a way, lying is just as bad as telling the truth. Go figure.

45. Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for?

Um, if I’m dead, how would I know that I was being remembered? I think we all want to be remembered and there’s a lot I’d want to be remembered for but that’s up to those I leave behind to think about. I’m not gonna say that this question doesn’t make sense but it’s kinda pointless because what I think about this probably isn’t the way anyone who knows me might think.

46. Is true world peace every possible?

No, not as long as we keep behaving the way we have been behaving as a species.

47. Do you have to suffer to truly understand the human condition? What is the human condition? How can you really experience it?

Hmm. Suffering teaches you some stuff about what it means to be alive and is part of being human. You don’t have to suffer to truly understand it because we learn a lot about the human condition – which is merely what it means to be human – and there’s no suffering involved. How can you really experience it? Remain alive, for the most part while paying attention to not only is going on with your life but also what’s going on around you. There’s so much to being human and some of it isn’t even nice but that’s just how we can be, too.

48. Are you free? Will you ever be? Can anyone be truly free?

I hate to say it, but death frees everyone. Otherwise, eh, in a lot of ways I am free and in others, I’m bound to the way things are. Freedom, I think, is about the ability to not only think but to act as you need to while being bound by the law of the land as well as our morality. We have the right of self-determination, but the problem is that there are those who feel that they have the right to take away your right to self-determination and that’s not being free and as can be seen in parts of the world.

Okay, I’m really done for the day with this one! I promise!

 
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Posted by on 29 July 2022 in KDaddy's General Observations

 

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KDaddy’s General Observations: 100 Questions (16 Through 31)

To continue…

16. Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g., the trolley problem?

I saw this one and kinda laughed to myself because there are no trolleys where I live… but I do think it’s important to discuss ethical dilemmas because, even in theory, it’s how we learn how to not make ethical issues a dilemma. It’s one of the reasons why I write so much about bisexuality and how monogamy tends to make us fail more than it allows us to succeed… except none of it is theory to me.

17. Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them?

No, I don’t remember having any imaginary friends.

18, Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’?

I stopped being religious the moment I realized that it was at odds with the reality I was living and with regards to my sexuality. I grew up as a Baptist but I would see where religion is more idealistic than realistic and I just had a problem with an institution that says that I had to be heterosexual when, very clearly, I wasn’t… and neither were some of the ministers of faith I knew of and I’ve always had a problem with, “Do as I say, not as I do!” It doesn’t mean I don’t believe in God – I just don’t believe in religion any longer.

19. If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why?

Nope. Still have a problem with an institution that wants you to believe – and take on faith – things that are self-fulfilling and cannot be proven as well as something that was clearly written by man and, well, it’s outdated and not all that applicable in the 21st century but I acknowledge that we all need something to believe in even if we don’t believe.

20. Do you want a grand adventure?

What’s grander than life itself?

21. Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different?

Hmm. If I love someone, I love them no matter the circumstances. One of the things I came to understand about love – and because it was something that someone I loved schooled me on it since we were both married and having an affair and one we really tried to avoid – is that you can’t do anything about the way you feel; you can only do something about how you might act on those feelings and loving someone… makes you want to do something other than to merely accept that this is how you feel about them.

22. How long does it take you to fall in love with somebody? It the sensation of ‘falling in love’ or “being in love’ better?

Another thing that makes me go, “Hmm.” Love… happens when it’s supposed to and there’s no “time limit” for falling in love although I understand the context of the initial question because when you fall in love with someone and get your heart crushed, it makes you leery of love and the way to make sure it’s really love and not infatuation is to impose x-amount of time to be able to tell the difference.

Having said that, the sensation of falling in love is… seriously crazy and pretty intense; being in love can be like that, too, so I can’t say that one is better than the other and I’d even say whether one is better than the other depends on not being afraid to love.

23. Is love about convenience or something more? Can it be about both?

Still making me go, “Hmm.” Love is what it is and now it’s about what you think love is supposed to be like and the reasons, if any, you would love someone. It can be about convenience and be something more or other than that because we get told and taught about what love is supposed to be like and the reasons why one should love and it’s so idealistic that it can’t stand against the reality of being in love and, well, we tend to love for a reason more than loving for the sake of love itself.

24. Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality?

I sure as hell do. I was born male and indoctrinated in the male gender role as it existed at the time I was born. Okay. Men are supposed to this, that, and the other and not supposed to do a lot of stuff that, over time, I found to be pretty stupid, like men aren’t supposed to cry but the reality says that we can and do. Even before gender became attached to sexuality, I knew that being in the male gender role had nothing to do with my sexuality given that I could be sexually intimate with guys who were, let’s say, more of a friend of female gender roles than the male ones and, as such, it was all about personal perspective and, well, gender is irrelevant but sexuality… just is what it is.

I’ve spent the entirety of my life learning everything there is to learn about being bisexual and given how old I am, yeah, I’ve had more than enough time to fully understand it and definitely not in a theoretical or hypothetical way. Been there. Done a whole lot of stuff and learned from it and the people I have interacted with in some way or another. I’ll say that if you haven’t read my blog about this, maybe you should and see for yourself if I understand it or not.

25. How fluid is your concept of gender and sexuality?

I know for a fact that sexuality is fluid so it’s not a concept and gender, once again, is irrelevant. I’m sure the group I call the “Hearts, Not Parts Gang” inserted gender into the equation and doing what we’ve always done about sex: Make it a secondary or a non-issue because the person themselves is of greater import than any sexual interest in their parts. They’re not entirely wrong about this since I know that I have never had sex with someone without considering them as a person – and no matter what they thought of or saw themselves but the harsh reality also says that you have sex with someone because they have the parts you want to be intimate with, too. Duh. Sexuality is fluid because I’ve known people to start out straight, become bisexual, then gay, then back to being straight or, really, “all over the place” because it’s about what a person needs in this and those needs are not as inviolate as our morality makes them. I know gay people who have and enjoy heterosexual sex… because why not? If nothing else, the labels get invalidated since we can be “all over the place” and as needed; a man can have sex with another man and still see himself as straight but he was fluid enough to have sex with a man.

I just can’t buy into what’s being said today about sexuality because it’s being overly complicated and unnecessarily so but humans are really good at taking something that’s rather simple and making a mess out of it.

26. What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far?

That would be accepting and embracing my bisexuality; it changed my life in ways that other choices – like getting married – can’t really compare to despite being life-changing. There are other things, of course, but that’s being “nitpicky…”

27. Are you afraid of growing old?

Well, um, since I’m already old, I have to say no, and I learned a long time ago not to be afraid of something you can’t do anything about; you’re either going to grow old or you aren’t. C’est la vie.

28. Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century?

There was a time when I did want to live forever until I learned that nothing is forever.

29. Do you believe in some form of god/s?

I do and, eh, not so much since the existence of God or gods cannot be proven nor disproven. I felt that it’s better to err on the side of caution on this one.

30. Are your choices fated or of you own free will?

Damned if I know. I believe the choices I’ve made have been of my own free will but some of them have felt… fated.

31. Do you have a hunch about how you’re doing to die?

I have a few of them that could result in my eventual demise and shit happens when you’d rather it didn’t… and I have better things to think about that aren’t so fucking depressing.

That’s it for today!

 
 

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KDaddy’s General Observations: 100 Questions (1 Through 15)

Christopher Teese (https://randomthoughtsofageekybi.wordpress.com/) has been posting his answers to 100 questions he tells me that he found somewhere on Facebook and in reading the answers he’s been posting so far, I was intrigued and asked him where I could get them so I can attempt to answer them myself.

Should be interesting! Okay, here we go!

1. Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance?

What an interesting question. I think there was a time when I became aware of how… small and insignificant I felt looking up at the night sky and seeing all those stars and so many that there wasn’t a whole lot of blackness between them. It humbled me in ways I can’t put into words but I can’t honestly say that it bothered me but it did kinda make me understand my place in all of this.

2. Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known?

I can feel sadness for places or people I don’t know when tragedy strikes because I am human after all but I can’t say that I’ve mourned all that much.

3. Do you really think there is somebody for everybody?

In theory, yes. The “problem” comes in finding someone and we spend our lives looking for The One and never finding them, well, some people actually do. I think and believe that someone can be, well, someone for somebody if they’re willing to be and the other person is, too.

4. Do you place any value in gender roles?

Yes… and not really. Those of you who read my blog knows how I feel about this in regard to sexuality but in a high-level kind of way, gender is overrated because we all do what we have to do as we go about our lives so while I value that, say, women can do the same things men can do, I don’t put a lot of value in gender roles and as I’ve been seeing being related to bisexuality in particular.

5. Do you have to be related to be family?

No.

6. Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones?

Yes, because it’s still a relationship and it’s just as binding as the romantic and familial ones. I haven’t had one of those for a very long time but when I did, it meant a lot to me.

7. Are you in love? Do you want to be?

Yes, I am and, yes, I always want to be but having been in love so many times in my life, I’ve learned that being in love isn’t as… glorious as we make it out to be or, as I once heard, the worst thing you can do to someone is to love them. Yet, we all chase this anyway and I’m not different in this.

8. Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation?

Good question. I know this is what we do but to me, love is love and categorizing it, well, it stopped making sense to me a long time ago but I do recognize that we have a need to love others… differently and to the point where I’ve heard people say, “I love you but I’m not in love with you… and, what the fuck? I get it… and I don’t because you either love someone or you don’t and if you do, you’re in love with them but I understand that this statement isn’t about being in love – it’s about doing the things that love calls for or not doing them.

9. Would you be happy with a life without romance?

Not only no but fuck no – where the fun in that?

10. Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody?

Yes and I can’t really explain it.

11. Would you change your appearance if you could?

On the surface, I’m not sure what’s being asked but one of the things I had to “come to grips” with when I was younger was that my appearance is what it is and even though I hated my nose (and I still do), eh, I’m just stuck with it and I’m not a fan of having surgery or having needles stuck in me with botox or even doing the stuff some people do in regards to their appearance.

12. Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life – whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc?

No, not really and because of the next question.

13. Do you believe in reincarnation?

No, I don’t.

14. Would you want to be reincarnated?

Probably not because living this one life has proved to be… interesting enough and to do it all over again? Hmm.

15. Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both?

I think that I am special and just another person, too. One among many but unique in my own ways.

Okay – this are the first fifteen questions and I’ll pick this up again tomorrow! Take a look at them and think about how you’d answer them!

And thanks to Christopher!

 
 

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KDaddy’s General Observations: 2021

I don’t know what to say about 2021. Early in the year, we were still battling COVID-19 and pharma companies were rushing to come up with some kind of vaccine and that they were doing this got a lot of people losing their minds and being very concerned about the government using vaccines as an excuse to microchip every who’d get it and then standing on their right to refuse to be vaccinated.

What a fucking mess. We’re still going through some shit about the 6th of January and I never thought that I would see a day – or the day – when not only did some people try to overthrow the government, the President, who was on his way out of office was encouraging them to do so… because he believed that the election was fraudulent and, as I thought, was still fiddling like Nero as Rome burned. I’m still stuck on stupid about the number of people who believe that the election was stolen from Trump and further disturbed to have read some stuff that said – or maybe rumored or something since you can’t trust the news – that if Trump doesn’t win the next election, his very armed supporters will fire the first shots to begin a second civil war.

I don’t pretend to understand this and more so when the allegations of voter fraud were proven to be false. Now, I’ve been aware that every outgoing president “leaves a mess” for the next president to clean up and, surprisingly, the only president I didn’t think did this – or as much as I’ve seen it done – was Barak Obama. Comparatively speaking, he left office and left the country in pretty good shape… then the shit hit the fan… and it’s still hitting the fan. Most of the country breathed a sigh of relief when Joe Biden took office… and I get a bit of a kick watching people on social media giving him da bizness like nobody’s, well, business but I understand that a lot of them don’t know Joe like I know Joe… since he’s from where I live. I’ve met the man; during his many Senate campaigns, I’ve talked to him face to face and he served us well as a US Senator even though, yeah, he does tend to say some shit that pisses people off… and he’s usually right about what he says if not, um, politically correct in the saying.

He’s got the biggest mess to clean up that I’ve ever seen one president leave another to deal with. 2021 has been the most fucked up year I’ve ever lived through short of the riots that took place when Dr. King was assassinated and that was the first and last time I’ve actually been afraid of something; even Vietnam didn’t scare me all that much during my very short visit there as the war was ending. As far as this stuff is concerned, I’ve been wondering if the people who are supporting Trump and his ideas and plans for this country realize or understand that the moment our enemies see us coming apart at the seams, this just might be the moment they carry out their many threats to attack and destroy us… or that they’re laughing their asses off because they know they don’t have to lift a finger to destroy us… because we are well on our way of doing that to ourselves?

Fuck. Anyway…

On the eve of the new year, well, I’m still here and doing my best to keep my head above water and the wolves away from my door although, admittedly, those very ghetto squirrels running around like they own the place might fuck those wolves up – those squirrels are no joke and some bold motherfuckers. It’s always been a matter of taking one day at a time and handling the stuff that can be handled and not worrying a whole lot about the stuff I can’t do anything about. At this very personal level, my biggest concerns is… what’s for dinner? Okay, there is the issue with my kidneys and doing whatever I can do to avoid dialysis or having to depend on a transplant to save what’s left of my life but I’ve been reliably told that there’s not a whole lot that can be done at this point in things except to keep drinking lots of water.

2021 saw the death of my son-in-law and that was a great shock to my system to have gotten that call from my daughter. It still kinda fucks with me because I had been talking to him a few hours before he died and he sounded like his usual self and said that he’d holla at me when he got back home after picking his daughter up from work. That would be the last thing he said to me so, yeah, to wake up to that phone call was more of a shock than the phone call I got when my mother died last year. I knew she would and that there was nothing the doctors could do and she had known this and had prepared me and my sister for the inevitable. It’s just different when a family member dies suddenly and unexpectedly and as my son-in-law did… and worse to find out that he died from a heart attack due to his uncontrolled high blood pressure and, well, shit – we all knew that he didn’t have any “love” for doctors or going to the hospital.

And life just keeps going on no matter what. Year after year, you just do your best to shake things off and keep moving forward. You find that every day is a chance to really celebrate things; one of the things I learned from a seminar we had to go to at work was that we should always celebrate our successes and no matter how big or small they are but to learn from our failures so that we fail less often. Good stuff.

Yep: This is one of the few scribbles I’ve written that hasn’t been about bisexuality. My more recent thoughts about this were about someone asking me how I can be so cool and comfortable being bisexual and more so when there’s a lot of riffing and shade being thrown against it… and my answer was that I’m cool and comfortable with it because it doesn’t make any sense not to be and, um, I’m not someone who’s new to this: This is just how I’ve always been. I’ve seen the best of it and the worst; I understand it in a way some people can’t or don’t. All this riffing means nothing to me because, well, I know some stuff about this and the thing I know – and despite all the bullshit – is that if someone chooses to be bisexual, there’s not a whole lot anyone can do to stop them from being the way they want or need to be. Shit can be said and attempted by those who object and it can cause a lot of strife for a lot of people… but the bottom line is that all of that crap changes nothing because I also learned that no matter what anyone has said to me about this, it has never changed the fact that I am – and still – very much bisexual.

And that’s all I’m going to say about this at this time. The biggest change that 2021 brought to me was that I am now officially retired according to the letter Social Security sent me as they switched me out of Social Security Disability. I had to laugh because the letter actually congratulated me for being retired and, yeah, I had a good laugh about it but it’s one of those landmark moments in one’s life and I’m just very happy that I’m still here to laugh about being told that I’m now officially retired. They didn’t mess with my money so no worries about that and life, such as it is these days, still goes on.

I debated with myself over whether or not I was going to scribble some end of the year stuff… and I started not to, but scribbling is what I do pretty much every day so to not scribble something wasn’t really going to work all that much so, um, here it is and for what it’s worth.

Here’s wishing all those who read this a happy and prosperous 2022! Do what you gotta do and don’t sweat the small stuff or the dumb shit.

 
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Posted by on 31 December 2021 in KDaddy's General Observations

 

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