Just saw a forum post get revived with new comments and the topic is, to paraphrase, do guys, when they get older, turn bisexual?
Apparently, some do although it seems to be a bit… mysterious as to why some guys do. A lot of such men have said that they’ve gone on about their lives and being straight men; married, in a relationship with a woman, even single but then, at some point – and for some unknown reason – they start getting a craving for dick, start watching “gay” porn, and even having dreams about having sex with a guy.
Then you have the guys who are married and find themselves being sexless; girlfriend just ain’t feeling the sex thing and if he still wants and needs to have sex with her, well, too bad… and ya better not cheat on me, either! In this, some guys just accept their fate; some guys go find a woman who will have sex with them, long or short term (or they pay for the service) and some guys, well, some guys do a 180 and the thing they want is dick.
They want to feel one in their hands, have it in their mouth, even have it in their ass and in a lot of situations that I know of, these guys never gave a single thought to having sex with a man and, as such, it’s pretty confusing to them and some find it hard to assimilate these new and very different feelings.
What no one seems to know is why and why it also feels “right” to go in that direction and/or it just sounds like a good idea and despite the confusion that can take place… and because it sounds like a good idea when, again, it never did before.
Some guys get into their mid-thirties and get hit with this and, again, “out of nowhere” and even when their sex life with women is decent and all that. I’ve learned over the years that, sure, we’re all born with the potential not to be straight but our social conditioning gets applied and, well, we’re straight… sometimes. I know that some of us feel the pull early on, some feel it later in life – and sometimes much later – while other guys never feel it at all… or they do and they just don’t pay any attention to it.
Seeing the revived topic reminded me of a man who, at the time, was in his late 60s. His wife had died years before and even he said that not too long after her death, he just knew he had to have sex with other men. He told me that he did question this but the day after he realized this is what he had to do, he had sex with a guy for the first time and never looked back and, as he said, didn’t think about it being right or wrong.
He had told me that he had to get his prostate removed – cancer – and he suffered from ED; he rarely got an erection, wasn’t producing sperm, but that didn’t stop him or, as he told me, “My mouth still works and my ass is very available to any guy who wants to fuck me!”
He also said that all he did all day and on most days was to suck cock and get fucked… and he absolutely loved it. He had also mentioned that before his wife had passed away, he had never given this kind of sex any thought whatsoever.
“It just felt like the right thing to do,” he had said.
Talking to him really brought this aspect of male bisexuality to the forefront of my mind because it seemed to me that after being able to talk to him, I was really noticing that a lot of older men were very much into sex with men and many of them never had an experience or even got close to one before the first time they actually did.
Is it our hard-wired imperative to have sex until we, well, until we really can’t? Some kind of “easter egg” that sits inside of us and waits for some unknown event or time in our life to go from being dormant to being active and with no warning whatsoever? Is that sneaky bastard, also known as our subconscious, just sitting back in the cut and directing our actions and telling us, “You now need some dick – go get it and hurry the fuck up!”? Is there a real logical thought process that happens and makes a guy say, “Well, why not?”
I even know a few guys who have said that one day it occurred to them that they’d had sex with women and pretty much in every way they could so having sex with a guy was “just the next thing to do.”
Hearing this is what made me change my earlier thought that guys just didn’t wake up one morning and decided that today would be a good day to suck a dick… because, apparently, that’s exactly what some guys seem to experience. I had wondered about the guys who, earlier in life, had some experiences but had walked away from it but now, being older and all that, they just find themselves returning to some kind of sex with a guy. It often surprises a guy but, as I’ve been told, also and almost always feels like the right thing to do.
And I’ll be damned if I really understand it. I even considered that because I got started early and never stopped, I don’t have a point of reference to compare this… phenomenon to but, sure, I’ve talked to an untold number of men over all of these decades and a lot of them have said that they went from being straight to being bi. Sometimes easily so. Sometimes because of some event in their lives. Sometimes for no apparent or obvious reason that can be pointed to or singled out.
Again, maybe it’s something a lot more men do, in fact, feel being switched on and it’s only by the strength of their will that they are able to ignore it… or it never gets switched on at all.
I don’t know and I may never know. I just know that it does happen and a lot more than was previously known about and to the point that I really don’t find it to be all that unusual but, yeah, for the guy who has this land on them and practically out of nowhere, it’s easy to see why this would bother them and some aren’t able to make any sense of it.
And no: I have no idea if women ever experience something like this and if they do, they don’t talk about it or, perhaps, it’s no big deal to them one way or the other. But I do know about men in this. I’ve had guys tell me that they have no fucking idea why they wanna play with a dick – they just know that they have to and the sooner, the better. Some guys have this great urge to suck and be sucked and some, wow, their urge is telling them to lie down and be fucked and anything else isn’t a priority or not even needed.
No idea whatsoever what’s behind this or the way it seems to manifest itself in the different ways it seems to do. Is it biology, you know, boys really being boys or something else? I’ve known guys to dive into the pool because of stress and emotional trauma, like losing a job, getting divorced or dumped by a girlfriend. Their dog died. The engine in their car or the transmission blew up. I’ve learned that there are all kinds of triggers that flips the switch on for some men… but I still don’t understand why the switch gets flipped to bisexual and for the many men who, until this moment, were happily straight.
And, yes – I even know a couple of gay men who got a major craving for pussy… and they had no idea why they did. I don’t know either. I know they said that they knew “for a fact” that pussy was off-limits to them and even nasty in their opinion… which made the craving to get some even more bothersome and, yeah, once they did, well, that wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be.
I just do not know how or why older men go from a lifetime of being straight to becoming bisexual or even gay, in some cases. I just know it happens. I know what many of these guys say about it but given all that I’ve heard and all that, it’s hard to piece together everything in a way that might show there is a pattern to this, some reason why that switch gets thrown other than it can be thrown at any time and for any reason and for no damned good reason at all.
Now, whether a guy actually does what the cravings are telling him to do is something else; some do and because they can’t get it done fast enough and some guys are still so spooked about it that they remain on the bench. Some are still very damned faithful to their partners and will not ever give into the urge until/unless the partnership ends – and maybe not even then.
And the craving just does not go away. It seems the more a guy tries to suppress it, the more powerful it gets. Some guys “give in to the inevitablity of it” and some guys continue their efforts to suppress it and many find it difficult… and some do find that it’s easy to suppress it but they know it’s still there and waiting, filling their thoughts and dreams of visions of hard cocks and nice butts.
And it all feels normal…. and maybe, just maybe, because it is. I’ve been of a mind that this is a genetic memory kind of thing. Way, way back in the very early days of humanity, two men had sex with each other and it was happening “so much” that the behavior got imprinted into our genetic code although scientists hunting for a “gay gene” are saying that they can’t seem to find one… or anything that would explain this. And it could be that the genetic memory of this is just hidden somewhere, maybe in the “junk DNA” that geneticists can’t figure out why we all have it or what it does… or what it used to do… and maybe what it might make us do.
Or, maybe, when those first two guys got with each other, they were just “obeying” what their genetic code was telling them to do in the first place. And aeons later, the coding is still there, dormant in some, active in others and just biding its time to turn itself on because it’s time to turn it on or some external event triggers it to go active and flip the switch to the “on” position.
Fuck if I know. I just know it happens and that it happens so often that don’t find it strange or unusual at all.