I almost forgot I wanted to write about something that got my attention late last night… or early this morning, to be accurate. I recently upgraded my iPod to the latest iOS version (5.0.1) and I realized that I have some apps on my iPod that I haven’t checked for iOS5 compatibility. Kinda lazy of me but, hey, I’m retired!
Anyway, I get to the app that links to the one “booty call site for guys” that I’ve signed up to and, yeah, as usual, it’s been a while since I visited to see what’s going on. I admit I’ve been a member for quite sometime; I’ll even admit to have hooked up with a couple of guys for some fun (and it was safe fun) and have even made a couple of non-sexual friends and, yup, I have no real objection to eyeballing a guy’s dick if he has a picture of it – but this ain’t about me; it’s about some of the other guys who are looking for… beats the shit out of me.
So, okay, the app’s working and, because I can be a nosy bastard at times, I’m randomly tapping on profiles, not out of any interest for the guy but in whatever he’s got written in his profile (if anything)… and some of the shit I saw was both funny as hell… but not really something I didn’t expect to see.
Like the bony, feminine-looking guy – who appeared to be wearing a bra in his pic – who said he’s not feminine and if you wanna get with him, you need to bring the green and not the kind you can smoke. I read this, looked at his picture again… and laughed quietly to myself at the utter gall being displayed. That he said he wasn’t feminine while wearing a bra just made the whole thing funnier.
Then there was the guy whose words were hard; he’s looking for “real niggaz” and real to him is that the “nigga” he’s looking for has to have a job, have a car, and a nice place to live and, oh, the right guy for him better recognize that anything that happens is gonna be about him because he’s a stone cold top and doesn’t suck dick.
Then there was another skinny, waif-looking dude who even to me looked pretty – and I don’t think about men like that at all. He’s “warning” mugs not to take his looks for him being feminine… and he looks very feminine and, oh, yeah, he’s a “bottom only” according to his profile. To me, that says, “I wanna be your bitch!” Oh, yeah, and he wanted to get paid, too…
A lot of the profiles I was looking at were guys in search of a LTR or long-term relationship… on a booty call type of site… kinda doesn’t make sense to me. The majority of them contained demands so totally absurd that it wasn’t any surprise that no one was hitting them up and, thus, becomes a “fake nigga” in the profile owner’s eyes. Um, let’s see… you’re gonna demand a bunch of shit from me and the only thing I’m gonna get in return is your dick someplace I’d rather not have it? Sorry, fella, can’t help ya – I’m too busy laughing at your rather childish attempt to be a grownup and being such a poor excuse for a man – period.
Admittedly, a lot of the random profiles I peeped were from guys younger than I am; I found it interesting, as I usually do, that (1) profiles from white guys tend to be nicer in content and (2) guys over the age of, say, 45, tend to be more grounded and intelligent when putting what they want out there. The one that always cracks me up when I see it is the one where the two white gay guys are looking for [preferably] a “person of color” to be their slave… like who the fuck is gonna do that? Even funnier – at least to me – was one I found where two gays guys, race undetermined, are looking for a white guy to be their love slave.
This shit is just too fucking funny! Like, this one that came to my attention a few moments ago: A guy sent me an email basically saying he wants to suck my dick any place, any time. Okay, that tickles me and it’s not unusual for me to remember to access this site and see such things. But, wait – this gets better!
If the sender says something that gets my attention one way or the other, the first thing I do is access their profile to see what’s up with them and this is what his said:
“It kills me that my great grandfathers nursin home friend r on (site name) lol….so dnt attempt to inbox or smile..that’s nasty looking for smethng differnt”
Okay, so this guy has something against older men… so why contact me? I’m 56; he’s 23 – duh! I’d have to do the math (and I don’t feel like it) but I could be old enough to be his granddaddy at the most; old enough to be his father goes without saying just by the numbers. Indeed, I often see a lot of age discrimination happening and even some racial discrimination that could really be a matter of preference… but why have a preference like that? Last I heard, dick was dick no matter the color of the person it’s attached to… or did I miss a staff meeting regarding this one?
While I’m not in the market for any of these guys from this site, I keep going back (1) to have a good laugh and (2) to put things into perspective with myself and (3) to see what the other guys who may be like me are talking and thinking about… and some of what I see is pretty fucked up, to put it nicely. One thing I did see was that a lot of guys were putting their HIV/AIDS status right up front by dropping the date of their last clean bill of health against the dreaded disease – this is good and very smart.
The rest of it? Oh, you gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me! Maybe it’s just me in my old age or something, but I kinda remember hooking up with a guy for some sex was as simple as, “Do you want to? Yeah? When? Oh, now! Okay, where?” Having a job wasn’t a requirement, nor was having a car or even your own place and only in the rarest of situations would you run into someone who was actually prostituting themselves.
I’m still trying to figure out what a “real nigga” is… and whose idea of real are we talking about here? See, my idea of real is a guy not making any demands on me other than asking for my cock to play with and being grown up enough to be having this kind of sex to begin with; how my employment status plays into this doesn’t make a lot of sense. Well, yeah, it does and I don’t particularly like what it says either way.
For me to access this site every three months or so – or whenever I happen to remember I still belong to it – is both entertaining and educational. It saddens me to see some Black men behaving in the manner they do – without dignity or a shred of anything that resembles intelligence. Yep, there are some guys who, by their profile, has their heads screwed on right; you can tell because they’re the ones who actually write sentences that make sense and not in that idiotic “texting” shorthand that personally drives me nuts having to decipher it.
I don’t delude myself – this is the depths to which being bi or gay has dropped to; it’s the seedy underworld of the DL, Internet-style. You mean to tell me that you have the fucking audacity to step to me like you’re Mr. King Dick of the Universe… and you don’t have the balls to be out to people? Are you really that iffy about your masculinity that you feel the need to hide behind a lot of bluster? Do you really, seriously, think I’m all that impressed by your dick? Makes me say, “Nigga, please…”
Because, even if it’s just sex, there are some basic things to be covered and confirmed here: Do you want to do (add whatever here)? You ain’t got no bad shit do you? If no, proceed; if yes, stop immediately. If yes to the first question, then when and where? If no, thanks anyway. How simple is this? Better yet, when, how, and why did this get so, ah, complicated?
Just wanted to share this with y’all…