What Fucks Me Up Is…

…how we just love to say that we have to live our lives the best way we can but then start pitching a bitch at each other because we’re different, because we go about the pursuit of doing the best we can in different ways, or that one way of doing this is not only better but is one-size-fits-all.

Sometimes, you just get tired of the dumb shit; sometimes, you seriously ask, “Can’t we all just get along?” and then find yourself unable to answer the question because we have a long history of not being able to get along – we can never agree to play nice with each other without someone deciding that play nice sucks, that the way they live is better than anything else someone can think of.

If life is truly a bitch, it’s of our own doing; we’re not the solution we think we are – we are the problem and more so when we can look at another person, find that they’re different in any nitpicking way, and decide to despise the fact this difference exists and they think it shouldn’t because their way – and whatever the fuck that is – is supposedly so superior.  It’s not that we don’t try to play nice… but there just seems to be more people willing to play nastily; they bite the hand that’s held out in friendship, will spit in the face of the offer of peaceful coexistence and, yes, we want to destroy that which we don’t understand right along with that which is different than we are.  And the evidence of this is all around us.

In the Sexuality Wars, my God, the things we are saying and doing to each other!  We can’t seem to accept that we can be different, cannot seem to rejoice in our vast diversity, can’t agree to live and let live.  While there are, in fact, many different ways to go about love, sex, and relationships (in particular), we can’t seem to wholly agree that we all, every fucking last one of us, are working toward the exact same goals in life and doing those things which make us happy during this short period of time allowed to us.  We can agree that life is, indeed, too short not to live and enjoy it to the fullest extent possible… but we still have a problem when we simply don’t like the way someone else will go about doing it.

We will say that you have the right to live your life… as long as you do it as the majority insists you do it.  Marriage, for instance, is supposed to be the best path to happiness… but only under a specific set of circumstances.  Sex, too, should only be done under a specific set of conditions and, yes, you should only love the way you’re told to… and if you don’t, well, it’s really suck to be you and we will seek to eradicate you and anyone else who doesn’t do shit the way “it’s supposed to be done.”

We are all after the same things… aren’t we?  I want to love, to have a good relationship and you’re damned right, have all the sex I can stand and if it’s not all or always under our single-source and monosexual rules, so much the better.  If that’s the way that works for you, by all means, go for it and have big time fun… but don’t fuck with my pursuits or downplay them because I choose not to do these things the same way you chose to; at the end of every motherfucking day that has ever been and will be, we are all pursuing the same damned things until it’s our time not to be here anymore.

No, I’m not going to seek to destroy you for being different from what I am in this but I will feel sad that we can’t seem to coexist where this is concerned… and I’ll write something like this because even I get sick and tired of the dumb shit we create in these things.

Objectification

In one of the Flint movies, Derek Flint, played by James Coburn, saved a bunch of beautiful women from a dastardly plot (hatched by women who got faked out by men) by breaking their brainwashing, saying, “You are not a sexual object!” to them.

Mr. Flint actually lied to them because they were obviously sexual objects but what went unsaid and, I think, not implied is that women are, indeed, more than a mere point of objectification.  Women can get pretty pissed about being objectified, can’t they?  But while they are more than just a pretty face, nice tits and ass and fun to have sex with, all of us have been shamed into forgetting that we were designed with sexual objectivity in mind, preprogrammed at the genetic level to be attracted to each other visually and even emotionally and even sexuality doesn’t change any of this.

Yes, I will admit that I love a woman with a nice ass and nice breasts and while I believe this is a preference of mine, um, it really isn’t – I was designed to be attracted to these lovely items and I’m just responding to that while adding some, ah, slight additions to the mix.  Does this make me a bad person (and as another blogger asked earlier today) and more so if I don’t have the opportunity to view the inner woman as well?

Some would say I am, that all I’m interested in are those things that are sexually stimulating and, admittedly, that’s partially true because, um, I’m a guy but I also learned the hard way that since beauty is only skin deep and in the eye of the beholder, I’d better be able to look deeper than that.  Still, I’d be seen as wrong and by a society that does more to objectify women than even I could ever do; indeed, there are many women who have bought into society’s idea of what’s beautiful and what isn’t and transform themselves into works of art and, supposedly, for their own sense of self worth… and get pretty pissy when their beauty attracts us like the proverbial bee to the sweet flower.

We stare, we drool and, yes, we lust like starving motherfuckers because women have further transformed themselves into that which we find even more attractive.  If we objectify you – and I’m not saying that we don’t, at least initially, uh, how is our fault when we are hard wired to be attracted to you except when homosexuality is in play and in part bisexuality as well?

For instance, I look at my woman every day and am aware of all the things of value in her but, instinctively, yes – I see a woman I want to bone every chance I get and not just because I know how good she is in bed; her looks appeal to that which attracts me – nice tits and ass – and, yup, I objectify her like it’s illegal… because I’m supposed to because, like I said in a similar rant, it makes relating with women a little difficult to pull off; sorry, ladies but we, like you, eat with our eyes first and peek inside the bread to see exactly what we are about to eat, literally and figuratively.  That’s why you can look like a billion dollars but once we look deeper, maybe your real worth won’t buy a can of cat food.

So much for being objectified, huh?  Yes, your inner value can override our instinct to be attracted to what we see but, yeah, we are attracted by what we see just the same, making you all legitimate objects of our lust and desires.  And, I believe that you want to be but have been shamed into not wanting to be… all at the same time, which is part of why we think you’re insane – it’s not your fault but our morality’s doing and society ain’t helped matters, either.

I’m bisexual and with another sense of objectification but, yeah, I love women and I sure as hell love looking at you in all your naked glory when I can and clothes when I can’t.  By objectifying you, it fires my imagination, spurs my lust and even makes me want to be the best guy I can be to attract you if I can and, no, not just for sex, but, ah, if that’s all you want, I unashamedly am all for that.

Because I was designed to interact with you on these levels and socially conditioned to, um, behave in a way you find favorable.  Yes, I have my own aesthetic values but the innate attraction is always there and always on unless, of course, you say or show me something to negate this natural behavior and more often than not, you do just that because of your conditioned dislike of being objectified.

See what’s at work here?  It’s a failure to communicate at at primal level, a social disconnect that proves itself to be troublesome and even confusing.  Yes, we can see beneath your exterior beauty… if you allow us to or, yep, if we have developed the ability to do that… but we like what we see before we get to know what we’re looking at and there’s no shame in this nor is it the wrong thing for us to do.  Hell, I kinda like it when a woman objectifies me as a sexual object because even if she doesn’t know it, I know there’s more to me that she hasn’t seen and if she wants to look, fine – no problems there either.  Men objectify me so, yep, I know how annoying it can be at times because I’d want a guy to desire me because, um, I’m desirable and not simply because I’m Black.

But I don’t fault them because we were made to attract each other and, as such, being the clever creatures we are, find many ways to objectify while finding ourselves objectified.

Another rant done and over with…