Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Why, why, why – again

Out of the blue and while looking at something that had nothing to do with sex and sexuality, an old conversation popped into my head and it still kinda surprises me because I know the stroke I had years ago left some blank spots in my memory.

Anyway, my brain tuned in to me talking with a guy who had just found out that his long-time girlfriend had a girlfriend (and not merely a girl friend, if you’re tracking). He was livid, clearly offended, and found it necessary to ask me why she would do such a thing… and more so when he was available to have sex if she wanted to.

My initial reply was along the lines of, “Did it ever occur to you that she wanted sex and in a way you’re incapable of providing?” and he looked at me as if I’d just stepped off a flying saucer so, no, it didn’t occur to him at all. I continued with asking him if he considered that maybe she asked herself if there was more to sex than what she’d already experienced and, again, his reaction said that he never considered such a preposterous notion.

“But why would she get with another woman?” he asked.

“Maybe she just wanted to; maybe she wanted a different experience than the usual stuff; maybe she’s wondered what it might be like and decided to find out and maybe, just maybe, she’s done this before and thought it’s what she needed again – how am I supposed to know? Did you ask her?”

Apparently, he didn’t and as evidenced by him telling me how he went off on her (verbally) about it and his insistence that she had no business going there.

“I’d say she didn’t or doesn’t agree with your assessment, dude,” I said. “And I’m guessing she never mentioned this because she knew you’d react as you did.”

“I don’t understand why,” he continued. “Doesn’t she know how much I love her?”

“Love doesn’t have anything to do with it,” I said. “Sometimes, it’s all about the sex and the different kind of intimacy. Sometimes, a woman wants to be brought to orgasm without some dude pounding away at her body or he’s not totally and wholly focused on pleasing her orally; maybe he’s really good at it but sometimes, a woman feels she need to experience it from a totally different source, as it were.”

“So she’s a lezzie?” he asked and I recall biting back a sense of being offended.

“No; I’d guess that she just enjoys that special intimacy that only women can bring to the table,” I offered.

“But we have sex all of the time!”

“So? I’m also guessing that if she wanted to eat pussy, I’m pretty sure you don’t have one,” I said.

“Doesn’t make sense that she’d want to munch a rug,” he said.

“You do it… so why would you assume that she wouldn’t want to?” I asked.

“That’s different!”

As I recalled, the conversation just went completely over his head; he just refused to accept or acknowledge that his woman needed something he couldn’t give her. I blinked to kinda clear my head after the memory faded away and it had me thinking that, indeed, a lot of people don’t understand bisexuality because it doesn’t make sense to them, even when you point out the many reasons why someone would choose to straddle the fence.

Sometimes they do and simply because it’s a different kind of intimacy; sometimes they do and simply because we’re prohibited from doing it like that and being a non-conformist fits their personality. Sometimes they do ask, “Is this all there is to having sex?” and, intelligently, they know there is more but it’s just a matter of daring to take the steps to finding the answer.

Why? Sometimes it really is as simple as because it can be done. It’s about being made to feel good, to perhaps experience orgasm in a way that conventional sex doesn’t always provide… or to experience orgasms as a real first for them. True enough, some folks give it a try and decide it wasn’t all that but I’ve wondered if this is because they went into it not expecting it to be good because we’ve been taught and otherwise made to believe that it’s not good and can’t possibly be good.

In other words, they’ve already convinced themselves they’re not gonna like it… so they don’t.

One can question the morality of any of this just as they can tell themselves that that we – civilized humans – should never want sex badly enough to trash the existing rules and to bring such shame onto themselves. And many do, in fact, say that morality be damned – I wanna have sex and if I need to cross some lines and break some rules to pursue as much satisfaction as I dare to chase, so be it.

And, sometimes, being “bad” can be a very good thing.

I know, from experience, that the why of it all isn’t easy to explain; it’s about the intimacy, that push to orgasmic release that we all either pursue… or run away from; sometimes it’s about bucking the system and just being different but there are so many intangibles that are involved that sometimes, the easiest explanation is, “Because it’s sex… and sometimes it trumps just having sex with yourself and provided you’re of a mind to even do that.”

Why? Sometimes the answer comes in the form of a question: “Why not?” and I’m fairly sure that many of you reading this could easily provide quite a few reasons toward why no one should ever think about, let alone pursue, this path of physical and, as a “byproduct”, emotional succor… it just because you wouldn’t do it never means that someone else would or can find reason to… and then there’s all those people who thought this way and got their minds changed, imparting the lesson that one should never say never.

I laughed to myself thinking about this old saw: “Well, I’ve never!” And one comeback to this is, “Well, maybe you should!” Nah, I’m not saying everyone should jump on the bandwagon and perfect that balancing act while straddling the fence… but if you ever wanted to know why some do, I’m the guy who will, at the very least, offer up some reasons as to why.

Time to get back to yet another restoration of a Minecraft ocean monument…

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Perception

This week, I had a rash of spammers attempting to follow me on Tumblr which requires me to go in there and block them… even though my settings are supposedly set to not allow anyone to follow me without my approval.  Tumblr has changed some stuff and on top of the spammers who’d love for you to click on their provided links and get more spammed, Tumblr has added what I’d call unsolicited content and content that I don’t find interesting at all so that stuff has to be dealt with even though it appears to be a lost cause; I make some uninteresting stuff disappear and more and even greater uninteresting stuff takes its place.

Sheesh.

The porn and other sex-related stuff still crops up (ya can’t seem to make it go away and stay away either) and I’ll admit that I will peep a few things because it gives me a reason to start scribbling… and like I’m doing now.  A while back, I scribbled a piece about sex being only for the young and how you can see – or made to see – plenty of examples of this and especially in the world of M2M sex.  During my cleanup, a couple of things happened to catch my attention; one, just by looking at some of it, you have no idea whether the young studs being depicted are bisexual or gay – whether that’s a good or bad thing is still out for the jury to decide.  The other thing I noticed was a pattern that tends to make watching porn pedantic, predictable, and even a bit boring:

Two young and extremely fit studs with large cocks either spend an inordinate amount of time kissing or start out with one guy on his knees in the classic cock sucking position; maybe ass is being eaten – I read something on Medium about a month ago that suggested that eating ass is the new thing to do.  After any of these things are done, the scene flickers (and usually because of shoddy editing) and one guy is on his knees or his back and getting his butt hammered and with the usual exaggerated glee and complete with moaning and groaning that, if you hear it, you can tell isn’t quite real.  Sometimes the stuff seen involves multiple guys who seem to spend more time mugging for the camera than anything else.  Lots of eye rolling on my part but, again, the thing that stuck out to me (and, really, not for the first time) is the perception these things want to slap you in the face with, like, all M2M sex follows this exact same pattern and, indeed, there are a lot of guys who accept this as being the way M2M has to be undertaken which is either good for them or enough to make guys who are aching to play with a dick have second thoughts and stay on the side of the pool.

The perception:  All M2M sex happens this way.  The truth:  It really doesn’t.  A lot of bi guys would rather kiss their dog (if they have one) before they’d kiss another guy; not all guys are into cock sucking or sticking their face in someone’s ass and there’s still plenty of guys who’d piss themselves just thinking about someone sticking a finger in their ass, let alone a big, hard dick.  And I asked myself, “What’s the message being sent here?  And why are guys accepting this as being the truth of things?”

It seems to me that the only difference between straight and “gay” porn is the sex of the participants and I say this because you can watch straight porn and see shit like throat fucking, gagging, choking, getting bitch-slapped, double penetrated and the ever-present money shot that may or may not be a facial or the nauseating scene of someone with their mouth open and “eagerly” waiting for the guy to finish jerking off and shooting spunk into their mouth… and “gay” porn – and I put this in quotes because you really don’t know if the participants are actually gay – isn’t all that different and some of the differences are, in my opinion, silly, like guys still wearing socks and shoes/boots and wearing stylish jock straps – this one really fucks with my head and I know it’s just me but, uh, there’s nothing sexy about looking at a guy wearing a jock strap – but I guess this is the guy version of wearing sexy “underwear.”  I often find myself laughing to think, as a guy is peeling out of his pants or shorts, if guys who wear these as a matter of course ever worry about skid marks…

It’s disturbing to go to the forum and find guys writing about wanting to do the shit they see in M2M porn, like thinking that getting slapped in the face with a hand or a hard dick is exciting while they’re trying to suck cock…or getting gagged, choked or otherwise manhandled and the rougher the manhandling, the more they seem to not only like it but want it to happen to them.  One day the guys were talking about getting slapped around and quite a few guys said that was the ticket for them, you know, provided they could get up the nerve to even be in that position to begin with.  I’ve chimed in that the moment the other guy goes to slap me, I can guarantee that he’s gonna wake up in the emergency room with tubes and needles sticking out of his body.  I know I’m from the old days and the days where you didn’t slap or manhandle women during sex and you sure as hell didn’t do it to another guy unless you wanted to start a fight and in the porn back in those days, you rarely, if ever, saw shit like that.  Today?  Porn is full of such things and, again, the thing I find surprising isn’t that porn shows this – it’s that some men think this is the way it has to be done and a lot of men are willing to do these things and have it done to them.

In my opinion, this perception and the unspoken messages aren’t a good thing; it’s quite bothersome to see guys who’ve yet to take the plunge stating unequivocally that getting mugged during sex is their idea of fun and more so when many people find this behavior to be humiliating and demeaning… and I guess it’s all good if being humiliated and demeaned during sex is, indeed, one’s idea of a good roll in the hay.  I suppose that one good thing taken away from this is the number of guys who give this shit a try… and find out that it wasn’t as much fun as it appeared to be; having some dude shoving all of his big dick down your throat and holding your head in place until you can’t breathe and are at risk of aspirating an overabundance of saliva (or bile if their body is trying to vomit the obstruction away) might look like fun when it’s happening to someone else, not so much when such a thing has your body in survival mode.

It’s the reason when forum members ask if they should do the things they see in porn, I tell them that, sure, if you want… but why would you want to and right along with the caveat that while porn provides some great visuals, it should never be used a primer or how to guide for having sex with another man.  I can’t imagine a guy who’s never had anal sex developing a hankering to have two very large cocks in his ass and more so, as I said, a lot of guys couldn’t take a finger in the ass without howling as if they were being murdered.  I can’t imagine a guy who has never sucked cock deciding that being gagged by said cock is good and sexy fun and more so when some guys find that they want to toss their cookies trying to get a dick into their mouth.  I can’t imagine why a guy would want someone slapping him around during sex and more so when, in any other situation, getting slapped will result in some violence happening quick, fast, and in a hurry.

And I still can’t imagine why guys would watch M2M porn and believe that what they’re watching is the way it’s supposed to be done and, again, especially those guys with zero M2M experience.  Sure, M2M porn displays a lot of shit that even I wouldn’t do which, of course, doesn’t mean that someone else wouldn’t want to do it and I admit to not really understanding why.  Guys watch this shit and decide that the bigger the dick, the better the sex is right up to the moment where some guy sporting nine or ten thick inches is trying to ram every inch of it in their virgin butt hole – not as fun as you thought or saw, was it?  Guys watch this shit and think that having an overly endowed guy forcing them to eat every inch of his endowment is the ticket but, as I said, most of these guys haven’t even sucked a dick and don’t seem to understand that, um, it’s not as easy as it looks and deep throating a dick is a skill that has to be learned… and not everyone is able to learn it.

I can hear y’all asking yourself, “If KDaddy finds this bothersome, why does he even look at it?”  Good question and I look at it because it’s important to be aware of the perception being hammered into the minds of men and not that I find it thrilling and exciting; for me, it’s one of those things you make yourself watch so that you can understand what you’re looking at and more so when you know of other guys who are chomping at the bit to experience the exact same things that M2M portrays in its famously exaggerated way, like, again, the guy you wanna have sex with is young, extremely fit, ruggedly handsome, and sporting a telephone pole between his legs.  You’re always supposed to kiss, to suck cock and like the other guy’s dick is the greatest thing you’ve ever put into your mouth and, here of late, eating his ass – or getting yours eaten prior to penetration is par for the course.  You’re then expected and required to fairly get your hole beaten and battered unmercifully (and by multiple guys if that’s the situation you find yourself in) and then, after he pulls out, you sit there and wait for him to shoot his load in your face or at your mouth and as if his spunk is the food of the gods and you can’t live without it.

I look at these things and compare them to what guys are saying about it and, yes, I’m thinking that I wouldn’t do this or that or allow it to be done to me – but that’s me and not my bisexual brethren who seem to think that it’s better to accept the perception than to seek the truth of this.  I can see experienced guys who might be of a mind to take their M2M sex to next levels… but I still don’t pretend to understand why a guy with zero experience with another man would want to experience sex as seen in a lot of M2M porn.  The more guys talk about this, I more I learn and, to that end, it’s one of those things that doesn’t have to make sense to me but it’s important to understand what it is that makes sense to other guys.  I’ve chatted with guys who are looking to hook up and, once, a guy said he was looking for his first experience with a man and couldn’t wait for me to slap him around and otherwise manhandle him… and I left the conversation without saying a word one way or the other and, indeed, it was that particular conversation that got me thinking about the perception initially.  Down-the-road conversations with other guys revealed that the things they wanted to experience were the same things they’d been seeing in M2M porn and once I saw examples of what they were talking about, wow… really?

I don’t think that any guy into M2M or wanting to be into it should be buying into porn’s hype but it’s just my opinion…

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Instant Gratification

Cityman hit me up just a few minutes ago and shared a profile he came across that, when read, oh, dear, was so exacting and precise about what the author wanted that my eyes rolled so hard they hurt for a moment.  I read the profile, read what Cityman had to say about it, and my first response was, “I want what I want and the way I want it!”  Indeed, one of the things I often sit and think about these days is how complicated people make things compared to the relative ease of days gone by when it came to getting laid or, if settling down with someone was more your cup of tea and a primary goal in your life, having a relationship that not only included sex but could lead to something more lasting.

In my opinion, people today seem to be more worried about what they want than what they’re able to work with and if you’re into checking out the various sites that exist for the purposes of sex and relationships, you can see a gazillion examples of what I’m talking about.  Now, I don’t say that a person doesn’t have a right to want what they want and the way they want it… I do, however, say that there’s a good chance that if you’re putting yourself out there to get what you want and the way you want it, ya might not get it because the person you’re saying that would be “perfect” for you probably doesn’t exist.

Except in that space between one’s ears.  In the bi guy world, I see on a daily basis guys writing about the perfect dude they want to get busy with… and they’re also the guys who also write about not being able to find someone to get busy with and in the way they want to do this.  Cityman occasionally shows me other profiles written by both men and women with requirements that set the bar so high that it’s no wonder they’re still on the various sites looking for someone because there’s not a person on the planet that can meet and/or exceed the profile author’s demands and requirements… or that person hasn’t been born yet… or the chances that such an amazing person is a member of one of the many sites and will actually see such a profile are fairly astronomical.

And these folks who write such profiles sit around and wonder why they can’t find someone and for whatever purpose they’re asking for?  I’m not surprised because while “I want what I want and the way I want it” is a fine statement of personal purpose, because such a statement lacks flexibility and doesn’t take into account that people change, not just over a given period of time but literally from one moment to the next… and then I guess they expect that person to always be what they wanted, you know, as if people are truly static.  It’s unrealistic and while it is true that there’s someone out there for everyone, when you write down a lot of very exacting criteria, you’re gonna eliminate a whole lot of people who could, if you were willing to work at it, give you what you want and the way you want it.

Again, it’s okay to think about that one person you’d give yourself to mind, body, and/or soul; what would they look like, what qualities would they have that would make you all warm and fuzzy as well as willing and able to get your freak on comfortably.  Is it okay to take that imaginary person and try to breathe life into them?  Maybe… if you actually manage to run across that person but given that it’s unlikely that’s gonna happen, doesn’t it make sense to create a set of flexible criteria that sets the bar at a reasonable level so that someone can, at the least, get close to meeting them?

You’d think that would make better sense but these days you see more and more people putting up some pretty exacting specifications and conditions and in the world of bi guys, I often wonder if they do this in order not to do what they say they want to do.  A lot of guys want a guy whose prime feature is a really big dick and lord knows there are a whole lot of guys with dicks literally down to their knees… and if you asked them if a guy who’s cock is around average size would work for them, eh, they might say yes… but you can see in their words that an average sized cock doesn’t match the specifications they’ve set in their head.  Many of these same guys are adamant about a certain level of “being into” as well so that they can avoid the dreaded hookup when (I guess) the truth they don’t wanna face is that the majority of men looking to throw it down aren’t in the least bit interested in being into a guy, um, except literally be into them if you catch my drift.

Instant gratification, while sounding like a good thing to pursue, doesn’t always work the way it’s thought to work… or expected to work.  I will keep saying this for as long as I can draw breath – or work the keyboard – that if you’re not thinking about the person you can work with to take care of your wants and desires, you’re gonna find yourself all by yourself and not getting what you want.  I know that as a bisexual man, the “perfect” man I can create in my head, in all likelihood, doesn’t exist and, realistically, it’s not as if I’m going to take the time and put forth the effort to search the entire fucking world looking for this most perfect guy; sure, the Internet has made the world a smaller place by connecting everyone electronically…. but the world is still a pretty big fucking place.  Now, if I had chosen to hold out for that “perfect” person, um, chances are damned good that I would have never gotten laid, would have never been in a relationship of any kind… and the people who hold true to instant gratification are finding out that this is the fate they’ve set for themselves and I will always wonder why people set themselves up to fail and, importantly, why they feel that depriving themselves of human interaction is a smart – and healthy – thing to do.

The thing that makes instant gratification utterly fail is, again, not taking into consideration that no one is perfect or even close to being perfect; even better, we’re not as consistent as we think we want and/or need to be.  Our thoughts and feelings change and in slices of time that, often, we aren’t always aware of and our day to day stuff can affect or otherwise alter our thoughts and feelings.  Now, if you’re aware of how all of this can affect you, I’m sure you can imagine how these same things can affect someone else and, if so, does it really make sense to go on the hunt for someone and lay down a set of criteria that probably cannot be met? Or a person could meet those criteria at a particular moment in time… then fail to meet them – and literally – seconds later and if not them, over any period of time you care to think of.  The guy today who says that his ideal guy has to have eight or more inches of dick, be into him and willing to, at the least, be a FWB might find out the next day that instant gratification has failed them (again) because Mr. Perfect, you know, being human and all that, has failed to meet those expectations.

And I just don’t pretend to understand why people behave like this when it doesn’t make sense to pin all your hopes and dreams on a human being that may or may not exist or you’ll never come in contact with in your lifetime.  “I want what I want and the way I want it,” to me, is a sure way to set yourself up to fail or, as I often suspect again, to make sure that whatever it is you want someone else for – sex and/or a relationship of some kind – ain’t ever gonna happen.  I see so many examples of people talking about what they want in another person… and not so much about what person they can work with.  Indeed, women talk a lot about settling and as if that’s such a horrible thing to do… but they also find out that holding out for the guy or even gal they want to be with causes them to overlook everyone they could be with, you know, if they were willing to put in the work that’s required and that, my friends, seems to be the gist of this whole instant gratification thing:  People want all of the perks but don’t want to do any of the real work required.

I went back and re-read the profile that Cityman shared with me and I thought, “Hmph – this person is going to be one really lonely ass…” because anyone reading it would, in all likelihood, tell that person to get over themselves for having the utter gall to lay down what reads as some pretty arrogant requirements that someone has to meet to get with them in any imaginable way.  And I will say to anyone reading this that if you’re sitting and wondering why you’re alone or not having the sex you want, or ya don’t have someone who’s gonna be in your life longer than a couple of weeks, you might want to take a close look at how high you’ve set the bar and the complexity of the conditions you’ve set for acquiring love, sex, and relationships.  I say to you that, sure, you have the right to want what you want and the way you want it… but I ask you is it realistic and achievable?  Are you, in fact, doing the best thing for yourself by invoking instant gratification and sticking to your right to want what you want and in the way you want it?

This isn’t just a bisexual thing – people, regardless of sexual orientation, seem to behave like this and, indeed, a lot of people find themselves unsexed and lonely because they don’t meet someone else’s very exacting requirements and no one would ever give them a shot because it’s all about what they want… and not even close to what they’re willing and able to work with.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: You Can’t Have It Both Ways

One of the things in the world of M2M that makes me scratch my head a lot goes a little something like this:

A guy finds that it is one hell of a rush to go to places with glory holes and spend some time sucking every cock that protrudes through the hole and, in turn, sticking his own cock through the hole and getting it worked over. He says that the rush of doing this is incredible and more so when he knows there’s a chance that he could be seen at such places and that could raise questions that, um, he might not want to answer.

In and of itself, hmm, that’s not really all that unusual in my opinion. Back in the day, it was not only one hell of a rush to be doing something we weren’t supposed to be doing, but the niggling though residing in the back of everyone’s mind was the risk of getting caught doing it and, yeah, by someone who’d take you to task for it.

What makes me scratch my head isn’t that there are guys who live for this particular rush… it’s the guys who also say that they’d like to lower their risks when they do this and, honestly, you can’t have it both ways. Common sense would suggest that if, in this scenario, you want to minimize the risk of getting caught, um, don’t do anything you don’t wanna get caught doing. There’s a reason why one of the big buzzwords in M2M is discretion or, “I won’t tell if you won’t!” but along these lines is also being able to go somewhere and do your thing and no one knows you were ever there; that way, you don’t risk having someone asking you why they saw your car in an area that you’re not known to frequent.

It just amazes me at how many guys want to do risky things but without accepting the inherent risks involved; it reminds me of the saying that everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die to get there. If frequenting glory holes, which is considered to be a form of having sex in public, is the thing that gives you the greatest pleasures, fine and dandy… but whenever you visit one – and, for the sake of this discussion – one you can’t walk to, you run the risk of having your car spotted in the area and you run the risk of someone asking, “Hey, did I see your car over by that adult bookstore the other day?”

Sure, there are a lot of cars that look just like yours but as these things tend to happen, the person seeing your car knows it’s your car and, yeah, it sucks to be you if you happen to have a unique car or your car has a vanity tag that’s known to be on your car. If that’s not bad enough, you just never know when someone you know might be in the area… or someone who knows of you (but you don’t know them) could be passing through. Hell, you could have just spent a couple of hours sucking cock and being sucked, come “sneaking” out of the place, and not even be aware that there were two people on the bus that went by who knows you when they see you.

Now, if it’s known that you go to such places, it’s probably not a problem… but if it’s not your MO, yup, questions could be asked and the risk of getting outed is pretty good and more so when you’re trying to fib your way out of things and the person asking knows you’re not being truthful about the reason why you were somewhere you shouldn’t have been.

So how does a guy lower his risk of discovery? Let me tell you a kinda short story…

When I was in tech school, every Friday at the end of our duty day, we’d get a safety briefing, like keeping an eye out for flying garbage cans, not walking off of roofs, stepping in front of Mack trucks (and lots of other silly and improbable things)… and we were always and seriously reminded that it ain’t illegal until you get caught – so don’t get caught. This always sticks in my mind every time I see or hear of a guy saying that he wants to suck cock like it’s illegal… but he doesn’t want to get caught doing it (or asked about it). Again, if you don’t want to find yourself answering questions about why you were seen at such-and-such a place that you’re not known to frequent or have a reason to be there (other than having a ball sucking dick), um, don’t frequent such places.

Because you never really know who might see you and they could be just nosy enough to ask you why you were there. It is said that without risk, there is no reward; it stands to reason that if one wants the reward, sure, one must take whatever risks are required but it’s also about accepting the risks and then being prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions. It’s my thought that it is highly unrealistic to think and/or believe that you can run around like a cock sucking fiend and do it without any risk of someone coming to you and asking you a question you probably aren’t of a mind to answer truthfully.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Much-dreaded Hookup

Okay, so you’ve seen the title of this scribble… and I’m wondering if a cold chill just ran down your spine or you’re squirming in your seat or even thinking that if you could avoid a hookup for sex (aka the booty call), that would be a good thing; maybe the title invokes the memory of your last hookup (if you had one in the last decade or so) and whether or not it was enjoyable or not.

There’s a perception about bisexuals that says – to be blunt – we’ll fuck anything that’s human, moving, and above ambient temperature.  There’s some truth to this where bi guys are concerned because, duh, we have sex on the brain and the hunt for a like-minded guy becomes rather important.  That perception says that we’re indiscriminate and, again, there’s some truth to this but you might be surprised at how many bi guys are not fans of casual sex; oh, it’s not as if they aren’t eager to get their freak on in this regard but, here lately, more guys seem to be holding out for at least a FWB deal or something a bit more than that.  Guys are talking about dating other guys and they’re also talking about not giving up the booty or the dick on the first date; they’re also talking about passing up on guys who aren’t interested in more meaningful sex or if you’re all about the much-dreaded hookup, well, you can keep on moving.

It’s not wrong for someone to want what they want and in the way they want it… but something keeps sticking in my head about this, namely, something I read several months ago that said women look for a relationship and find sex while men look for sex and find a relationship; when you think about this, well, that makes some sense – at least I thought it did.  If we can take this as a sort of truism, guys hooking up with other guys for sex serves two purposes:  The first and most obvious one is sex but one never knows when a relationship might happen because of a hookup.  What I see are guys who are passing up on the much-dreaded hookup so they can put getting into a relationship first and whatever sex becomes a secondary concern.   Again, nothing wrong with this… except you’re dealing with men and, basically and generally speaking, we don’t operate like that.  Oh, it’s not that some of us don’t want a relationship kind of thing with another guy but to be a bit crude, you gotta bring ass to get ass or, to be more polite – and to swipe something I heard said years ago (in reference to the Powerball lottery), “If you don’t play, you can’t win…”

Guys who aren’t fans of casual sex have a problem:  If they don’t get out there and, um, interview guys – and that usually means having sex with them because, well, you know how we are about that, then they’ll never know if the next guy who comes along will be Mr. Right… or merely Mr. Right Now.  Sure, guys put themselves out there, hitting the various sources that are available these days but the other problem they run into is that many of the men who may contact them can be more Mr. Right Now than Mr. Right and, duh, that’s because a lot of guys who are about M2M stuff aren’t in the least bit interested in getting involved in anything that remotely resembles a romantic situation.  So more often than not, the guys looking for Mr. Right wind up being very frustrated and some kinda/sorta “give up” engaging in this, um, interview process because in their minds, sex without a connection other than lust doesn’t mean a whole lot.

When I hear guys talking about this and how they’d prefer to avoid the much-dreaded hookup, jeez, the things they say prompts me to remind them of something that, perhaps, they’re not paying much attention to, i.e., you’re dealing with other men and, going back to that thing I mentioned, we look for sex and find a relationship.  One of the things that has made M2M so attractive is that a lot of the “mushy stuff” gets bypassed… or, let’s just cut to the chase, get naked, get our dicks hard, and handle this business… and whatever happens after that, well, we’ll deal with it then.  Despite the perception, yeah, sure, most guys aren’t gonna just hit the sack with just anyone – there is some due diligence that must be taken care of even if for the sake of one’s safety.  But the guys who have an aversion to the much-dreaded hookup take this to the next level by insisting that some kind of being into that doesn’t have shit to do with having sex be on the table first and foremost.  It’s not that they won’t meet with a guy, you know, to eyeball him and see if he matches his online description but they also hold tightly to the rule that you just do not have sex with someone you’re meeting for the first time…even if the urge to have sex is practically eating you alive.

Guys who fall into this category will stick to their principles in this while wondering why it’s so hard for them to get the cock they want.  It’s not as if they don’t know that the easiest way to get the cock they want is to “hook up” with a guy and have sex with him because they do know this… they just don’t wanna “cheapen” themselves and I’m gonna say this without any offense meant to anyone reading this but sometimes these guys act like women tend to behave in this and they act as if the guys they’re after are, themselves women.  Again, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with this… but I do find it very curious and more so when more and more guys are complaining that they’re not getting the dick they want because they can’t find Mr. Right.

Don’t get me wrong:  Finding a Mr. Right does make quite a bit of sense but traditional dating habits aren’t always gonna work toward this goal… because your target audience is male and, once again, males who are more interested in sex than anything more binding than that… although, if the stars and planets do happen to line up the right way after some sex has jumped off, well, okay, this is something that can be worked on  – and the key phrase here is “worked on.”  Relationships of any kind do not tend to happen all by themselves even though we – and this means [generally] most people – are looking for that chemistry or click right off the bat and not considering that even attempting to establish a relationship of any kind takes some work… and, I guess it’s sad to say, when this is between guys, that just might include some sex as a prelude to anything more than some mutual nut-busting.  Still, it seems to me that if you aren’t willing to get out there and interview for Mr. Right – and that includes some pipe cleaning – then you may find yourself sitting and waiting while having none of your needs in this taken care of.

That old saying about breaking eggs to make an omelet comes to mind at this point.  I dunno… the angst toward casual sex is deeply ingrained in us and to the point where those folks who are not adverse to casual sex are looked at as if there’s something wrong with them; you know who I’m talking about – the women people call sluts and the guys who are tagged as being dogs and both are – and have historically been – looked at in some very unkind ways because, you also know, fornication – that’s sex without being married – is considered to be a sin in almost every culture on the planet.  There’s a reason why the phrase “living in sin” exists after all.

It seems to me that if a guy is looking for some kind of “being into” relationship with another guy, it becomes a question of what he’s willing to do in order to make this happen, thus, if “Pete” isn’t willing to suck a few cocks to find the guy he can be with on a more, um, intimate basis, what does our hypothetical guy think isn’t going to happen?  I’m reminded of a part of an old song that says, “You gotta use what you got to get what you want (or something like that – close enough for government work)” and as I recall, the song was about women stepping to the plate and doing whatever they gotta do in order to accomplish their goals.  The bi guys who find themselves sitting and waiting for Mr. Right tend to find themselves on the outside looking in because they “refuse” to use what they have to get what they want.  They say that casual sex is meaningless and empty and that’s because it’s what we’ve been made to believe in… but what does this really mean?  Are they saying that sex, in and of itself, has zero meaning without a relationship being a part of the deal and if so, how the hell is that possible when we also know that having sex tends to feel pretty damned good… and feeling good does, in fact, mean something?

Over and over, I’m not ever gonna say that waiting for Mr. Right to come along is a bad thing; I’m just gonna say that if a guy has that very serious itch that can only be scratched by a hard cock, sitting and waiting isn’t going to scratch that itch; in fact, the itch just gets worse the longer it goes unattended.  What puzzles me is that it’s not like the guys looking for a relationship kind of thing doesn’t know this – it’s why they don’t adjust their game plan so that, at the very least, their itch gets some attention or, like I said to a guy on the bi guy forum, if at the very least you get laid, well, isn’t that a good thing and better than not getting laid at all?

Finally, there’s the person you want to be with… and then there’s the person you can be with and in whatever form or context that might be.  It seems to me that if one doesn’t check out the person they can be with, how do they expect to find – or even cultivate – the person they want to be with?  When you hear a lot of guys talking about they haven’t gotten any dick yet (or in a long time) because they’re waiting for the right guy to come along, you get the impression that this right guy is just gonna magically appear out of the blue when, I dunno, maybe it’s common sense that says that you gotta do some work not only to find him but to also lay down the groundwork toward establishing the desired relationship status… and that, sorry to say, might also include the much-dreaded hookup.

Sigh… all of this reminds me that if you believe women are funny about this, guys are even funnier and I don’t mean in a humorous way.  I don’t judge anyone where this is concerned but I’m the guy who’ll ask the questions that, perhaps, no one else will ask.  They say that good things come to those who wait; they also say he who hesitates is lost, if you snooze, you lose, and those who refuse to change will be left behind; it’s said that it’s better to try and fail than to never try at all.  And, oh, yeah, if you keep waiting for Mr. Right to come along and sweep you off your feet, you’re not gonna get any dick.  Period.  What you will get, however, is a lot of emotional turmoil that’s not good for one’s blood pressure and/or mental state.

Just sayin’…

 

Let Me Ask You Something

Here’s the question:  Does sex always have to be meaningful and if it does, why?  See, I was just editing my blog entitled, “Well, Duh…!” which was about women complaining about how dudes always wanting to fuck them was getting on their last good nerves and how they’re not being appreciated in other ways and as I made some corrections, I got to thinking about how most people are loathe to have sex that doesn’t “mean” something or, simply, they’re not keen about having casual sex or doing it just because they feel the need to get laid.

You see and hear more and more people stating that in order for them to have sex with someone, they have to “be into them” or someone has to be into them before any sex can jump off.  I still see instances of people – mostly women, I’m afraid – who insist that while they do, in fact, love getting laid, they need it to mean something to them and I’ve always guess that this means that they’ll only have sex with someone they love and, as such, have an investment with the person looking to pack their stuff.

And, yes, I got to wondering about this and my mind almost immediately went back to what I was told when I was old enough to understand it, that being, you should only have sex with someone you love… and the implied, unspoken thing is that having sex while in love has more “meaning” than sex that happens without love being in the picture at all.  I think that because, culturally, we’ve enacted a great deal of negativity regarding casual sex – sex that happens outside of wedlock (or some other relationship state), a lot of us are compelled to believe that NSA sex doesn’t “mean” anything; it has no material value, is thought to be harmful and a few other things and I did think back to the religious admonishment about fornication and how sinful it is just to do it simply because it can be done.

And, yes, I can easily admit that I enjoy sex when it “means” something… but I’m not sure I could describe what “meaningful” sex is because, um, I also enjoy sex when it has no meaning other than to scratch that very annoying itch.  I am, of course, aware that since we have self-esteem/respect and are acutely aware of our personal worth and value, we are loath to throw down with someone who, in essence, doesn’t give a fuck about us or otherwise have no real investment in us because we’re just a means to an end… but isn’t this also true when the sex “means” something?  If you care to examine it closely, wouldn’t you see and/or realize that even when the sex “means”something, you’re still a part of that means to that desired end?

I asked a woman once what she meant when she said, “If I’m gonna fuck you, it has to mean something!” – and it didn’t surprise me that she couldn’t really answer the question.  And, yes, we did fuck (oh, man, did we ever!) but I was still wondering what it meant when one says that sex is doable if it has meaning.  Like I confessed, I’m on board with this… but I’ll be damned if I can tell you what the hell that means, well, and have it make sense.  Again, I think we’ve been so deeply conditioned not to give up our bodies unless there’s some… investment in play, like being into each other, being in love with each other, and being bound by a relationship.  Even though NSA is quite popular, well, many people will tell you right off the bat that while they’re fans of NSA sex, they wouldn’t just fuck anyone even though they could, in fact, do just that.

Enter that need for some kind of attraction or that often misunderstood concept of chemistry or that “click” that tells us that not only should we let the other person into our underwear, the sooner we do it, the better it’ll be for us.  My God… I’ve heard and seen so many people speak on this and, if I were to sum it all up into a high-level kind of thing, the lack of attraction/chemistry doesn’t lend itself to “meaningful” sex.  Many people insist that if there’s no attraction or chemistry, there will be no sex… even though every fiber of their being is screaming at them to get laid or suffer some uncomfortable consequences, oh, like, guys passing up a chance to fuck a willing woman and winding up with a very painful case of blue balls.  I’ve wondered – and not for the first time – if attraction/chemistry is really necessary in order for (a) sex to happen and (b) for the sex to be satisfying and mostly because I have, in my time, have had sex with people I’ve been attracted to and/or got hit with the power of chemistry… and the sex, while good, seemed to lack any real “meaning” other than making some orgasms happen.  Likewise, I have had sex with people who I haven’t been attracted to or have felt any chemistry for… and it’s been just as good (and sometimes better)… but where’s the “meaning” here?

Or are we “collectively” saying that lust, which conveys its own meaning, isn’t valid or doesn’t serve the purpose to provide “meaning” to having sex?  No, it’s isn’t as if I really don’t know what the deal is about this because I do… but, as the byline for my blog says, this is about what’s in my head and, well, this happened to be in my head when I decided to write all of this.  So, to continue, I’m wondering how many times a person has been attracted to someone and decided to have sex with that person based on that attraction… and then, after it’s all said and done, found themselves wishing that they hadn’t?  Does this – or could this – imply that the sex had no “meaning” to it other than being a waste of time, energy and some bodily fluids?

Is “meaningful” sex really a trust issue?  Yep, we do tend not to have sex with someone we feel or believe can’t be trusted but even if we deem them to be trustworthy – and whatever the hell that might mean to an individual – does that trust lend itself to the sex being “meaningful?”  Does getting laid have to have some sort of meaning as a matter of course… or is this merely a social construct and one that, essentially, says that you should only have sex with someone you love or deeply care about and if you don’t care or love the object of your lust, well, the sex won’t mean shit?

Yep, sometimes, I am just amazed at what will pop into my head at any given moment.  Does being in love assume that the sex has meaning?  Does attraction lend itself to whatever “meaningful” sex is?  Does being in a relationship provide this “meaning” that we all seem to require?  Or is it “simply” because we are told that unless certain things line up in a certain way, any sex we might have outside of these conditions lacks meaning and value?  Like I said, I can remember my parents telling me to (a) keep my dick in my pants (not exactly in those words) and (b) that I should never have sex with anyone I didn’t care about or love because if I did, well, I would most certainly regret it.

I subsequently learned that I could, in fact, find myself regretting it even when those conditions were met and, yep, even those conditions weren’t even in the picture, uh-huh, I’ve had some pretty good (and damned good) sex with people I didn’t care about or love or even wanted to be in a relationship with.  So I wonder if this “sex has to mean something” this is a self-defense mechanism we all create for ourselves so that we can protect, as best we can, our sense of self-worth and our self-esteem?  Oh, can I mention that both of these things can be damaged and utterly destroyed even when the sex does has “meaning” to it… or is supposed to have “meaning?”

Aight, time for me to end this and find something else to get out of my head…

 

Well, Duh…!

A few days ago, I was going through an app for a site that I’ve been a member of so long that if I had to log into that site, chances are I wouldn’t remember my username and password for it.  Anyway, I’m clearing out the “tweet-like” messages that appear there 24/7 with people just saying whatever happens to be on their mind when I noticed that a lot of the items I was getting rid of were from women who were complaining about men always wanting to fuck them and with sentiments ranging from, “Is that all the f*ck you dudes think about?” to what I’d call the usual sentiments about valuing women beyond what their bodies have to offer and even a couple of sentiments that would suggest that access to their bodies comes with some consideration about financial remuneration.

As I cleared the last of the messages I found myself shrugging and thinking that while there are a lot of things in life that can be considered to be generational, the angst women have regarding their role in the cycle of life hasn’t changed much in my memory.  Now, ladies who are reading this, put away the rolling pins, frying pans, and other potentially dangerous things; I am not a misogynist, a male chauvinistic pig, or whatever other negative epitaph that might come to mind so if what I’m about to say offends you, please, don’t let it offend you – I’m just making an observation, okay?

Okay!

So, I guess about ten minutes later, I was flipping through Tumblr and, yes, taking in all the eye candy that manages to find its way to me; I see women… lots of women… women of all shapes, sizes, colors, etc., and either tastefully nude, crudely nude, fully clothed, and in more, ah, sexual situations than the Kama Sutra, both, um, professionally and not so much, just women loving the skin they’re in and all that good shit.

My mind flashed back to what I had been doing and the complaints those women were lodging about being seen more as sexual objects than anything else and I thought, “Well, why in the name of God do you think this is?  You were made for sex, from the top of your heads to the bottoms of your feet!  Your whole body was designed to attract us, from the size of your breasts, to the shape of your ass and hips and, yeah, you’re damned right, right down to that place that is so coveted and desired that it just isn’t funny!”

Yes, yes, I know – and because, like many guys, I had no choice but to learn this – that women have value beyond the allure of their bodies and that your minds are just as valuable; what’s going on inside your heads can be equally attractive which, at least to me (I ain’t gonna speak for any other guy in this), just adds to your overall allure and is a clear sign that you’re more than just a means to an end… which doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t want to screw you every chance we get.  Sorry, ladies, but that’s just the way it’s always been… but I’m not telling you anything you didn’t know already, am I?

I took a moment to recall this one woman holding forth about all the decent brothers who are out there on the DL and, as she put it, “being all thuggish and laying the pipe to each other…” and I thought – and, ladies, it came unbidden so put the knives away – “Well, if y’all wasn’t so funny about giving up the booty, ya might never have to worry about something like this causing you any emotional discomfort…”  And, yeah, I actually commented back to her with these exact words and as far as I know, she hasn’t deigned to say anything in return and a part of me was wishing that she had said something along the lines that I would have found to be a “typical” response to such a comment.

Do a lot of us know that you’re more than just a piece of ass, that means to a messy end?  Yes, we do and, as a matter of fact, it’s a lesson most of us learn before we even become sexually active and start chasing after you, that women have to be cherished, valued, and just treated right because if you don’t or can’t do these things, guess what’s not gonna happen?  We learn that it’s not really “He who has the gold makes the rules;” it’s more like “She who has the pussy makes the rules” and it’s not like y’all don’t know this… just like there are a lot of women who just will not ever let us guys forget this very important fact.

It is what it has always been… but one of the things that always gets me scratching my head (or beating it against a wall) are those women who almost constantly complain about not being able to find a man who will love and cherish them as the human being they are… but, in the same breath, will also make it known that if you even think you’re gonna get a whiff of her coochie, well, you can forget that shit right off the bat.  Some of these women are of the variety that they are so damned hot and sexy, celibate priests want to fuck them and, yeah, that’s seeing women with their clothes on, mind you; just like with food, we eat with our eyes first and what we see of a woman greatly lends itself to that all important first impression and, yes, ladies, I’m not gonna lie to you:  That first impression is either, “Damn, I wanna do her!” or it can be, “I wouldn’t fuck her with my worst enemies’ dick!”  Again, it is what it is, what it’s always has been because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

One woman commented, “If I could get the right man for me without any sex being involved, I’d be happier…” and, well, again I’ll apologize but if you’ve ever wondered why men think women are insane, this comment pretty much tells you why.  I’m almost willing to bet that this woman – and like a lot of women I’ve heard utter sentiments like this – would, at some point, start to wonder why the guy she’s dating ain’t trying to screw her brains out.  Well, um, duh, could it be due to the fact that you’ve voiced a great dislike for being handled like a sex toy?  Once again, this always reminds me of an old Bill Cosby (before he got on everyone’s shit list) routine where Eve kept saying to Adam, “Come here, come here, come here, oh, no!  Get away, get away, get away!  Wait, come here!  No!  Get away!”

I got to thinking about the one woman who commented, “Sh*t, I might as well be a lesbian!” and I guessed that she had expressed this because she was having some problems getting some dick; I also thought, looking at her picture, that she was quite pretty… but I was also reminded that while beauty is only skin deep, ugly can be very deep to the bone so I was wondering just how many men were trying to get with her like that… until she opened her mouth and started talking?  And then I wondered – and as I tend to do when I see women saying things like this – if the thought ever occurred to her that she’s not getting the cock she needs because she’s going out of her way to make sure she doesn’t get any?

On Tumblr, this woman wrote a rather long, convoluted story – and with pictures that visualized her reactions (none of them what I would call good) about this guy who was begging her to suck his dick.  She admitted that when she did blow him, she had him crying for his mama (and anyone else who might have been able to help him) and, well, she was fairly bragging about how good her cock sucking skills were… while wondering why this “scrub” was trying to get more of the same from her.  I commented, “Well, if you weren’t so good at doing that, you’d never have to worry about dudes coming back for more, would you?”  Oh, yeah, and this particular woman is fond of putting up posts that speak to how much she wants and needs to get laid, anytime, anywhere – but how that’s not happening enough to make and keep her happy.

She commented back to me, too, saying, “Yeah, you’re right, but I’m more than just a damned good cocksucker…”

And I just laughed softly to myself along with the obligatory eye rolls.  I closed Tumblr and opened another app to check on my game progress… but my original thought – women are made for sex – persisted.  I thought, as I played my game, about our built-in biological imperative to make babies; I thought about how humans are among the elite of the entire animal kingdom because we like to have sex just because it feels so damned good to do it and not solely for the purpose of procreation.  I thought about how men and women are raised with differing views on the whole sex thing and how social norms (read this as part of our morality on the issue) just sets us at odds with each other about this.  Yep, ladies, I do know that our need to screw you (and just because we wanna screw you) can make us do some pretty fucked up shit in order to accomplish that goal; as a bisexual man, I am all too aware of what a dude will do or say to accomplish the task of getting his rocks off so, yeah, I do get some of why y’all are the way you are about giving it up.

I just thought – and not for the first time – that women who complain about guys chasing them for the pussy… but who also turn right around and complain about guys bypassing them for this, well, that’s just some insane shit.  We are told that, in life, you just can’t have it both ways… except, um, women are clearly an exception to a rule that’s been around since God told Adam and Eve to go ye forth and multiply (and she turned him down that very first time and only God Himself knows why she said no).  Yes, I wholeheartedly agree that women have value that goes beyond sex; I get that women want us to feel more than just lust for them and that we should appreciate everything about them… except, us wanting to have sex with you goes along with that… doesn’t it?

According to the women I saw riffing about this, um, apparently not.  As seen on the app I mentioned, there isn’t a day that goes by that there aren’t a lot of women with this angst against sex who are voicing this, ah, schizophrenic point of view, complaining about the lack of sex and complaining about being pursued for sex and all in the same sentence.  Many of them wind up including so many conditions and requirements for getting in between their legs that, honestly, I’m not all that surprised that no one wants to fuck you… because you’re pretty much going out of your way to make sure it doesn’t happen… and, again, they wonder why no one wants what they have to offer?  Yes, I also know that there’s a lot more to this… situation that I haven’t mentioned and I haven’t mentioned them because there’s not enough hours in a day to write about every last nuance around this

It just struck me as being continually odd to see so many women – and on an hourly basis – pitching a bitch about this.  Not all women are comfortable with casual – read this as non-relationship – sex… but there are women who, like some men, just can’t handle being in a relationship so I wondered that if these women who were riffing about this were doing so because of some inability to have sex in the proscribed relationship setting, well, wow, I mean, really?  Intelligently, I’m sure these women know (giving them the benefit of the doubt) that you don’t have to be in a relationship to get laid if and when you need to get laid… but this isn’t an intellectual exercise and I don’t think it ever has been because you can, in theory, get a woman to agree that, intelligently, having sex just makes sense and along a great many lines which include both physical and emotional health concerns… but some will say, “I know, but…” and here comes the emotional reasons why this isn’t such a good idea, from having been used in the past, to fears of being labeled as a slut, and right down to that conditioning women get that says, in some circles, that you just never give up the booty without a damned good reason to give it up which, oddly, doesn’t seem to include giving it up because they do, in fact, need to get laid and if it’s NSA (no strings attached), so much the better (sometimes).

There’s a song, written and performed by a woman, that has in its lyrics, a, um, statement (I guess) that women have to use what they got to get what they want and part of the female mystique for men has been the question, “Well, what do they want?”  That there are women these days who, for who know whatever reasons, believe they can get what they want without giving up the booty just continues to amaze me… and probably a lot of other men, too.  We know – or we should know – that love and sex are not the same things and that they do, in fact, work very well together even though, in reality, they aren’t always mutually inclusive… because that’s just how some people are.  Still, the women I saw riffing about this also said that they need a dude to be into them and more than just for the fruit of their loins and, fine, okay, I can understand that well enough; again, I know that women have value beyond just this… but the question I would universally ask these women – and I think I just might the next time I open that app – is what, exactly, do you think “being into you” really means?  I mean, do these women truly understand that us “being into them” also includes a great desire to fill them up with dick, too?

I would (and might) ask these same women that if you’re all about relationship sex only, why is that when the relationship begins, you’re laying the pussy on homie like there’s no tomorrow… but a couple of months from now, eh, not so much and, yeah, your main complaint is now about this guy who is into you is the fact that he literally wants to be into you in the majority of times?  If those women are, in fact, all about relationship sex only, um, did it ever occur to them that the reason why they’re not in a relationship and kicking holes in the walls and breaking the bed isn’t because there are no men worthy of them… it’s because they’ve created a world for themselves that, for all intents and purposes, makes guys not want to be in a relationship with them, oh, like insisting that they be appreciated for things beyond sex and turning right around and kicking a guy in the nuts for not wanting to lay the pipe to them?

We – men – have come to accept this as a matter of course, that women are “just funny” about this… but sometimes – and I don’t know about other people – I just wonder why no one ever questions this behavior and more so when, at least on the surface, it kinda doesn’t make a lot of sense to (a) complain about dudes (and even women) wanting to fuck you and (b), in the same breath, complain about the lack of sex in their lives.  And before any women reading this gets it into their head to tell me that I just don’t understand it, I will concede that you’re right; not only do I not understand it, I have reason to believe that no one, not even women understand this behavior… which is why I get it in my head to question it at times.

Women are just so deliciously insane and, yeah, sometimes, it’s this insanity – along with your innate beauty – that compels us to want to fuck you beyond that biological imperative to do so.  Women accuse of, and I might add, justifiably so, that all us guys think about is having sex with them… but you were designed for this; everything about you lends itself to our desire to want to screw you and relationship status notwithstanding.  If we – men – are guilty of having that one-track mind, um, well, there’s a reason why we do and it’s because you’re women:  Period.  There’s something about you – your looks, your mind, whatever, that makes us do whatever we gotta do in order to have sex with you… and it’s not that women really have an objection to this… but, yeah, according to those women I’ve been mentioning, there’s clearly an objection that seems to be ingrained in them, huh?

If a woman is both complaining about the fact that guys want to fuck them and, at the same time, complaining about not being able to get fucked, I wonder if she ever really thinks about why this is?  And, if like a few of those women, one is complaining about the lack of sex more than guys hitting on them, um, I wonder if they ever give any thought about what they’d have to change about themselves in order to get laid more often?  Oh, and if they have given it some thought, uh, why haven’t they effected the changes that will get them the sex they say they crave?

I know I’m not the only man to think about this; I’m just the one with the nerve to ask the questions that no one ever seems to want to ask about this and, yes, at the risk of pissing off some women in the process which, I’ll remind you, ladies, isn’t intentional.  It’s just that if women want us to understand them, some really hard questions have to be asked and “I don’t know” really isn’t an acceptable answer because if you – women who riff about this – don’t know, then who does?