I saw on the forum that the poll/post about preferring to suck dick or eat pussy is still very much alive and well and… reading what the guys have and are saying tends to amuse me because it’s another of those “choices” things that are of the either/or variety and one that I think tends to lock bisexuals into boxes that bisexuality tends to free one from.
It’s not sucking dick or eating pussy – it’s sucking dick and eating pussy. I see guys responding to this and it’s always about which thing they prefer to do over the other. I’m not surprised that a lot of guys have responded that, oh, yeah, for them, it’s sucking dick over eating pussy and even kinda saying, “Yeah, I like to eat pussy, but…” and I read this stuff, laugh, and wonder why guys do this and why a lot of bisexuals tend to think “or” instead of “and.”
Stuff like this is too much like that silly notion that people are either straight or they’re gay. It’s an absolute or, as I often like to say, thinking like a Sith straight out of Star Wars. I know that I can have sex with a man or a woman and it’s all about availability and all that but at the high level of things, I can and do have sex with men and women. It’s sucking dick and eating pussy. One isn’t all that preferred over the other because there’s no reason to. I love doing both even though I also know that there are up and down sides to giving someone head and, well, that’s just how it goes in these things.
How many times have I been hit with one of these choice kind of questions… and the person asking them gets stuck on stupid when I say, “Both!” Or my favorite response of, “Yes!” It’s both. It’s not preferring one over the other but preferring both. Bisexuals often talk about this being two-sided and, yeah, it is, but they do it in terms of having a straight side and a gay one which gives them the impression that being bisexual is living two different lives instead of living just one life that includes wanting and being able to have sex in the “gay mode” of things. We tend to see this as two different things… and it is… but not really because at the root of this is… it’s sex.
I’ve often thoughts that because bisexuals break that “straight or gay” nonsense – and because we are both but, importantly, not exclusively one or the other – getting into stuff like do you prefer to suck cock or do you prefer to eat pussy is… silly since, um, sexually active bisexuals tend to do both and that’s because they prefer to give head. Period. Questions like this are… nitpicky. Tends to try to shove one back into the social “mindset” that you’re either straight or you’re gay and then those annoying question of preferring to be one way over the other and… being nitpicky and, I think, just losing sight of the big picture.
My answer to this was, “Yes!” And, as expected, someone asked me why I responded like that instead of stating my preference and my answer was, “Because I prefer to suck dick and eat pussy.” There is no “or” in the way I think and feel about this. Not sure why this is so hard for some people to understand but, okay, I do know why and it goes back to either being straight or being gay. One or the other… but not both because who does that?
Oh, yeah – bisexuals do. Well, which do you prefer more? Men or women? Dick or pussy? Sucking or eating. Giving or receiving? Top or bottom? It says something about how humans think and, yeah, not all that different from how computers “think;” a bit is either on or it’s off. Yes or no, true or false but also if, then, and else and, yeah, it’s interesting and more so when you consider that we program computers or try to and in the same way we think. Makes sense. But you can easily send a computer into a looping mode when it’s presented with an argument or statement that creates a conflict; it’s not on but it’s not off; it’s yes and no and getting to if, then, and else, well, that’s not going to happen until a programmer goes in, finds the erroneous piece of the code that caused the loop and fixes it.
But humans are… hard to fix in this sense and it’s why bisexuality tends to fuck with people because it’s something that our social programming takes into consideration and… it can’t be both or it’s on and off; it’s yes and no. What the fuck? Pick a side and stay on it! And, yup, prefer one thing/aspect over the other. It’s not men or women; it’s both. It boggles the minds of many. It should be one or the other, but it isn’t. Okay. I know guys who wouldn’t eat pussy if you paid them to, but they do suck dick. I know guys who won’t suck dick but will eat pussy. That’s preference but not one that applies to all bisexuals. We still get stuck in this either/or loop when we ask if we like eating pussy more than we like sucking dick and… not being able to see that, sure, eating pussy is da shit… but so is sucking dick.
Bisexuality defies everything we know about sex and sexuality. But we still think in absolutes and, again, I’ve baffled a lot of people because I don’t prefer one or the other; I prefer both and in no particular order. It all depends on… availability. Whomever I can convince to let me give them head first. Being in that “perfect moment” where I can suck dick and eat pussy and like I’m at a buffet because I prefer to do both. It’s not two different things but just one thing: Oral sex. Giving head. Any other consideration is being… nitpicky. And then being of a mind that one thing has to be preferred over the other; you’re either going to have sex like you’re a straight dude and prefer to only eat pussy or you’re gonna have sex like a gay dude and prefer to only suck dick. Preferring both and not being… wishy-washy about it is, well, who does that?
Oh. That would be me and not just because I’m orally fixated but the logic says that it doesn’t make sense to prefer one over the other when both are so much damned fun to do. I like both. I do both. Eat pussy and suck cock. Kinda makes me the weirdo because I will not and cannot say that I prefer eating pussy over sucking cock… because it’s not the truth for me. And I would learn that the secret to keeping this simple is to not think of this as being two different things because it’s all one thing: It’s having sex. Realizing that, anatomical differences aside, I can do to a man the same thing I can do to a woman: Give them head. Lick it. Suck it. Make them – and myself – feel really damned good.
Good and bad things about both aspects. Occupational hazards and you learn to deal with and adjust to them. I’m sitting here and really trying to think why I would prefer one over the other and it’s not working. I know what I like and don’t like about doing either thing but that doesn’t create a preference for one over the other since, um, it can be fun and not so much and that depends on some… stuff that I may or may not encounter or experience it in the exact same way every time. I do remember the first time someone asked me this specific question and… I got stuck on stupid because I knew, right down to the core of what I am, that I preferred… both. Whichever one I could get my mouth on first and not caring about it.
Doesn’t much matter to me as long as I get to give someone head. I do believe that my oral fixation “erases” the “or” in this question and I’m good with that and, logically and even emotionally, there’s no need for the “or” to be in the equation. Eat that pussy right off her body and do the same thing to his dick. Ravish them. “Abuse” them in that delightful way that, hopefully, will make them cum, orgasm, squirt, or whatever happens when they get shoved over the edge.
And me right along with them. It’s so exciting to do both. I have orgasmed doing both and, yeah, I have busted a nut doing both and without anyone’s “assistance.” Embarrassing the first time that happened but, uh, isn’t eating pussy/sucking dick supposed to be very exciting and pleasing to me as well? The logic said, “Yup…” and my emotions agreed. Eat it. Suck it. Both are good and… I prefer to do both. The logic suggests that I can, in fact and in deed, eat dick and suck pussy… because, um, yeah, that’s what I’m doing.
The oral fixation says, “It’s all good and there’s no need to prefer one over the other.” It’s not so much about what I “feel” like doing but what I can do. I can be sucking dick and thinking about eating pussy and in the reverse. Shit yeah. Gimme, gimme. Let me do it to you like this. That annoying question: If you had to choose between eating pussy or eating dick, which one would you prefer to do and/or which would you do first?
What kind of question is that… and why are you trying to make me choose one over the other? Oh, that would be because our social norms insists that we choose one over the other and, preferably, straight sex over gay sex and then totally overlooking the fact that it’s all… sex. Do I prefer to top or bottom? Yes. What do you mean I have to pick just one when I know that I enjoy both roles? Okay. To the question of cut or uncut, yeah, I had a problem with uncut and it was irrational, and I knew it. I got over it (all late and wrong) so, yeah. Both. And then understanding and remembering that women are all uncut. Well, shit. How can I be weird about sucking a guy who isn’t cut when I habitually eat pussy and knowing that women have… foreskin covering the head of their clit?
But this was part of me eliminating both preferences and that annoying “or” that we just perpetuate because we think it’s two different things and we must choose or prefer one over the other. Where’s the fun in that? And, intelligently, does this make any real sense? To me, it doesn’t make sense because sucking dick/eating pussy isn’t a “take it or leave it” thing for me. The only legitimate “or” is I’m either going to go down on you or I’m not going to and if I don’t, there’s a good reason for it and that includes running into someone who doesn’t like getting head.
And at least in my most humble opinion, the only “or” involved is either you give head both ways or you don’t or at all. I understand preferences and how nitpicky we can get about them and all across the spectrum of having sex. But it begins with preferring to have sex. Cityman and I get into this a lot and, well, he cracks me up at times because he perceives this just like most bi guys do. He prefers to eat pussy over sucking dick, and this makes sense to him because it’s always about what he prefers to do and with whom – male or female – but just now getting to the point where he’s understanding that it’s really both that is preferred because he does like and enjoy giving head and, yeah, he really cracks me up when he talks about how much he now loves sucking dick and sucking the guy off. But he still thinks in terms of it being men or women and, well, he’s a smart guy – he’ll figure it out and see the sense of eliminating that “or” out of the way he thinks about sex and giving head.
Some people figure this out and see how “or” doesn’t make a lot of sense. Most people are stuck in place because “or” makes them choose between one or the other and preferring one over the other. My protege gets to talking about preferences and I still think he’s… baffled that I don’t have any because I’ve seen the fallacy in having them and sticking to them and making them not subject to change. I prefer to give head. Doesn’t matter if I’m going down on a woman or a man. I prefer both. I love both. Nothing else really makes sense, well, it doesn’t make sense to me.
I read the latest responses to the poll/topic and the fellas are all into that which they prefer over the other and getting all nitpicky about why they prefer one over the other and a lot of other stuff that, I think, doesn’t allow them to be more focused on the big picture which, in this, is eating pussy and sucking dick. True enough, not all men eat pussy and don’t even think about asking them to suck a dick… because it’s not what they prefer to do. A lot of focus on what one’s likes to do and not so much on what can be done provided one can get out of the box they’ve stuck themselves in.
I’d never say that no one should have preferences. I do ask, “Why do you let your preferences limit the sexual fun you could be having?” and… how dare I questions someone’s right to want what they want and in the exact way they want it. Hmm. I’ve been seeing this all of my life and, as such, I’ve always pondered this and seeing how that “being straight or gay” thing plays into this “or” mindset that a lot of bisexuals seem to be ensconced in.
I find it… curious. Even being bisexual, we’re into that “picking a side” thing that people keep telling us we have to do and what bisexuality just destroys. It’s… curious. You can point this out to someone and, yup, it’s “Yeah, but…” time. What is preferred. Choosing one over the other and it is implied that you either like eating pussy more or you like sucking dick more and saying that you unconditionally like doing both is like, dude – what’s wrong with you?
Sighing. Yeah, I know what the deal is. It all serves to teach me some stuff about how other bisexuals think and why they do stuff like asking if you prefer to eat pussy or suck dick when the question should be do you prefer to eat pussy and dick and as opposed to not liking to do either thing. People make bisexuality interesting. You can eat pussy but not suck dick. You can suck dick but not eat pussy. Not a problem and, yes, preference. But if you do both – and a lot of us do – is there really a need to prefer one over the other? Apparently, there is and to me, it speaks to how we think about this aspect of having sex.
See ya tomorrow.