Tag Archives: Sexualilty

Today’s ‘Top Searches’

This is one of my favorite things to ponder, courtesy of today’s Top Searches:  Thug life and bisexuality.

I think I understand the deal behind being a thug and, no, it’s not really about being a criminal despite the word ‘thug’ – it’s a lifestyle more than anything else and, as I’ve mentioned before, follows a code of behavior that’s rather detailed… but is also something that says that bros loving bros is not only allowable but is a sign of respect and even machismo.

If anything, it lends credence to something I’ve said for years:  It takes balls for a man to have sex with another man and more so when neither participant is gay.  I’d even go as far as to say that these guys don’t even see themselves as being bisexual; it’s just them saying that we’re brothers, bound by a common cause and way of life… and it can include us having sex with each other.

It’s confusing because if you know a thug, your first thought might be he’d rather eat shit and die before throwing down with another thug, right?  Some thugs are truly hardcore – you’d know it when you saw it – and that air of toughness and no-nonsense attitude would seem to be out-of-place if they were to get naked and go for what they knew.

I’m not saying that all people who hold true to the thug life get busy like this – but some do and, to me, it serves to illustrate how very masculine dudes can get into something that was once seen as a ‘girly’ thing to do – no offense to any gay folks or women meant.  To them, it is about being a man; you’ve read some stuff I’ve written about the DL and how some of the dudes on that site I’m a member of come at the membership by calling out real men for sex.  Such men make it clear that they’re not interested in femme-like dudes; they want to engage with men who will get naked and handle the business at hand in a very no-nonsense, no bullshit way – just whip it out and let’s do this.

The impression I get is that it’s just not about the sex – it’s about honor and respect, too.  I would think that going up to a thug who’s down with ‘loving’ his fellow thugs and calling him gay would result in a beat-down of epic proportions… they might be a lot of things but gay ain’t one of them.  And, yeah, it probably is about being tough enough to do something that other men would run away from.

This is one of those things that makes sense when you think about it… and not so much.  It appears to be a contradiction – the behavior doesn’t seem to fit the actions… and then again it isn’t.  It spits in the face of the ages-old stereotype that all Black men are homophobic – we’ve known this was bullshit from day one and something a lot of people still believe, by the way.  And since not all thugs are Black, well, I think that further dispels the stereotypical myth, wouldn’t you agree?

It is, in fact, quite macho to categorically deny that you’d ever have sex with another guy – us guys just have to get together and thump our chests and wave our dicks around as a sign of ultimate masculinity… but just because it’s denied in ‘public’ doesn’t mean that, on the real, it ain’t being done at all.  I’ve always found it funny to hear guys speaking out against man-on-man sex… and I know who is really against it and who really is all for it – it’s really a guy kind of thing.


Posted by on 22 October 2012 in Life, Living and Loving


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