I meant to write this yesterday but, well, I didn’t. As I kinda puttered around, I somehow got to thinking about how things often don’t go as planned.
In the works of M2M, things are often done by gentlemanly agreement; there’s a negotiation phase where each man states his likes and dislikes and kinda go back and forth until they both can agree on what’s to be done and all that. Once the terms have been hashed out, all that’s left is to do it… and we all tend to take the other guy at his word that only what was agreed to will take place.
Yeah, right. Okay, let’s say that 85% of the time, things go as agreed… and in the remaining 15%, things can go off-script because what I think doesn’t get taken into serious consideration is that, um, people do change their minds and being in the heat of the moment can be… interesting. As such, I’ve known of guys walking away from an encounter being totally pissed off because something happened – or almost happened – that wasn’t previously agreed to and even I learned some tough lessons about that oh, like, don’t ever expect things to go as planned.
We just tend to assume that we’re gonna get what we want and in the specific way we want it and without much thought to the other guy having his own ideals about that. Classically, Guy A meets Guy B and after some going back and forth, they agree to suck each other off and head off to do just that… but somewhere along the line, Guy B changes the script by saying that it’ll be easier for him to cum if he can fuck Guy A – and even though Guy A has already made it clear that’s not what he wanted to do (whether he’s into this or not).
These things happen and “in most cases,” the matter is dropped and dicks continue to be sucked with a slight dampening of the mood… or Guy A’s refusal to go there pisses Guy B off so much that the whole thing gets irrevocably ruined… and now both guys are pissed off and can bring the matter of one’s honor into question., as well as the possibility of some name-calling and maybe even being called out as a flaky, punk-assed bitch of a chicken shit motherfucker and even one’s masculinity can be called into question as well.
A lot of guys are seriously inflexible and unable to adapt to changes. One guy I knew told me of his recent encounter with a guy who, apparently, fucked the whole deal up because the other guy wanted to eat my acquaintance’s ass and that wasn’t included in their initial agreement. When I asked him why he just didn’t let the guy do it, I thought he was going to say that his but wasn’t all that clean but his reply was, “That’s not what the deal was!”
“So you’re mad because something came up that you weren’t expecting?” I asked and, yes, trying not to laugh at him over how he was behaving,
“He has no honor, man,” he griped. “He wasn’t a man of his word as I thought he was!”
Sorry, but I had to ask him, “What’s honor got to do with it? Okay, I get it # been there myself many times – but I’m wondering why you didn’t already have it your head that things could change?”
“They weren’t supposed to!” he literally shouted back at me. “You would have done the same thing and leave like I did!”
“Um, no, I would have adjusted to this change and let him do what he wanted to do since it’s not that big of a deal,” I said with a shrug. “Something like that wouldn’t be enough for me to want to call the whole thing off – but that’s me… and I always go into things knowing that they can change and, yeah, I might be the one to change shit up.”
“Like what?” he asked.
“Like the many times we’ve agreed that there will be no fucking but as things heated up, the change was put on the table. Not what we agreed to but adapting to this means, at the least, having a short conversation to say yea or nay; I don’t know how many times I’ve said no fucking and I’m later telling the guy to fuck me and right now.”
“What if he says no?”
“Then he says no but that’s no reason to not finish what we started,” I said. “Shit, I found out the hard way many times that just because I want things to go a certain way doesn’t mean the other guy is always going honor my decision in this… and any more than I’m likely to not honor his, not because neither of us are truly dishonorable but being in the moment can effect change and if you can adjust and adapt to it, well, you’re just gonna be pissed off – and then you didn’t get to bust a nut.”
There’s a reason it’s said that, “No means no.” Sometimes, script changes aren’t that dramatic, like how a guy and I agreed that I wouldn’t cum in his mouth… and he turned around and asked me to. I could have said no because that wasn’t agreed to but I adapted and adjusted and asked him if he was sure… and he answered by continuing to suck me until I came in his mouth. Afterward, he said that he was surprised that he changed his mind but felt that was what the moment called for and he was glad I was agreeable.
A lot of guys become disillusioned because they get this notion in their head of what they wanna do and how they wanna do it and then things don’t happen exactly as they thought… and now they’re pissy and feeling other kinds of ways. I tell them that it’s okay to agree on whatever… but if you’re not prepared to expect the unexpected, you’re never going to be happy with how things might turn out.
Guys often “Yeah, but…” me about this and stick to the fact that the other guy gave his word and, as such, his word didn’t mean shit and his parents weren’t married when he was born and other such things. Yes, you expect a guy to keep his word and to the letter… but if you don’t have a clue about what’s going on in his mind once his dick gets hard, yeah, you might have a problem if you’re unable to adapt and adjust to the situation and that includes “reminding” him that you both agreed that whatever came up was not to be done. Or, heh, heh, something that came up that neither of you thought about during the negotiation phase.
Is it a thing of a guy being dishonorable and his word not being his bond? Well, sadly, we are too well-known to lie in order to get what we want from someone and that’s pretty dishonorable… but in a lot of M2M situations, both guys are being straightforward and forthcoming but neither thinking that being in the moment can effect change,and more so,when you can’t control what the other guy is thinking or feeling at any given time and, yeah, you might not have an iron grip on your own thoughts and feelings… which many guys claim they have.
I know better than that since I used to think that way, too. No way am I gonna change my mind and no way he’s gonna convince me that changing my mind is gonna be a good thing for both of us! He gave his word and so did I! And “shit” happened anyway and more good than bad and, yes, I’ve had to physically enforce my decision not to do something when they just won’t take no for an answer. Been there, done that, learned some terribly hard lessons from it that I’m not of a mind to ever repeat.
But if it’s reasonable, sure – why not? If it’s not a great divergence from what we agreed to, okay. But if you go from fingering my ass to wanting to shove your dick in there – and we didn’t agree to any of this, well, no – I’m gonna hold you to your word and if that makes you mad and ruined the mood, well, sorry about that… but not really. When I say no, I mean it but that doesn’t mean that I’m unable to adapt or adjust on the fly… because I do expect things to not go as planned and that’s not, at least to me, an issue of being honorable… but it is a thing I know about men when their dicks are hard and they’re in their own moment.
And when it doesn’t go off script, that’s fine but you just learn to expect the unexpected and how to adapt and adjust as needed. As such, yeah, it’s about one’s honor and not so much. It can get… tense; I’ve had guys say that they wanted to do whatever because they thought I wouldn’t mind… and I’ve thanked them not to try to think for me seeing as how they were dead wrong about what they thought I would think. If I told you not to cum in my face and you get it into your head to make such a change – and then not even ask me – well, hmm. I’ve had guys flip the script and ask even though we both agreed there will be no facials taking place.n I’ve said no, they’ve gotten miffed and I know they are and no matter how much they try’s to hide it.
You did give your word and I’ll hold you to it but, yeah, I know better. I don’t get prissy about it because, again, I’ve been known to change my mind in mid-stream and I’ll ask and if he says no, okay; why ruin everything by getting all bent out of shape about it? Yes, yes – boundaries should always be respected and they are… most of the time but a lot of guys get totally blindsided because they never expect things to go in another direction and then can’t adjust to something, like, oh, letting the other guy eat your ass rather than having a major hissy fit that kills the mood and, again, everyone walks away unhappy.
It’s okay to say no and you should if you must but we do act like our gentleman’s agreement isn’t subject to change because the reality is that, uh, it can. It’s not like we come to an agreement then lull,out bibles and swear an oath that the agreement in which we’ve entered will not change, so help me (add your deity of choice here if you have one) no do we write it down and sign it with our blood or anything like that to seal,the pact we just made.
I just think a lot of guys are too rigid and inflexible and unable to adjust or adapt very well… and I do think that instant gratification – I want what I want and the exact way I want it – is at fault. Methinks it easy to negotiate and say let’s see what happens and if it’s something on my “don’t like” list, I’ll let you know and I hope you’ll do the same… so let’s go do the thing we just agreed to do, shall we?
Okay, I’ve finally gotten this out of my head – see ya tomorrow! Oh, and if you see any mistakes, blame it on my iPad – it can’t keep up with how fast I can type even with two fingers…