Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Doing What We Do

I actually thought about this yesterday and was about to start writing when my computer decided it needed to install 22 Windows updates and I’m just now getting back to this… then I see that WordPress made some changes, like removing the Category and Tags widgets I’ve been so used to seeing and making use of and, well, if there’s a way to get them back, I haven’t found it yet and I find this rather bothersome right now.  Anyway…

I had decided to circle back and talk about this again from what I originally thought was a slightly different perspective and more so when I thought about the many times when I’ve been asked how I could have sex with men.  It “hit” me that I could go fuck some guy’s woman and while I might catch some flak for doing that, whatever opposition I’d get for that pales in comparison to what some folks think about the fact that I happily suck cock.

“How can you do that?  Why do you need to do that?”

A couple of good questions, huh?  I think that every bisexual who is sexually active this way has a “standard” answer to how they could do such an immoral thing and along the lines of, “I just can” because this is easier to answer than to get deeply into the more broader, fuller answer.  Likewise, we can probably answer the second question but it wouldn’t be all that simple a thing to do – and I know because I’ve tried answering this question more times than I can remember but, one time when I was asked the second question, I responded with, “Well, why do you have sex?”

My question sparked an interesting debate over some difference between having heterosexual sex and homosexual sex and since I’m not adverse to stirring the pot on such things, I prodded them into telling me as best they could just what the differences were and more so if they understood that sex – and regardless to its many forms – is still sex.  The person asking me the question in the first place launched into a long dissertation about what’s considered to be normal and, of course, morality and, since I was having a bit of fun pushing their buttons (I get like that at times but not too often), I allowed that this is all well and good… but what does that have to do with having sex in the first place?  They said that [of course] dudes weren’t supposed to have sex with each other and I countered with the obvious:  Just because we’re not supposed to do it doesn’t mean it can’t be done and the prohibition against it hasn’t stopped it from being done.  I then hit them with this – again: “Well, why do you have sex?”

The look I got was one of being totally perplexed; I mean, come on, the answer is as plain as the nose on your face – or it should be but for this situation, I had to provide them with the answer:  “You have sex because it feels good, don’t you?”  Ah, man, the look on their face when they heard this was beyond precious and worth the time it took to evoke such a dumbfounded look.  They recovered and said, “But, you suck dick…!” and I replied, “Yeah – because it feels good – are you with me on this now?”

I understand that some folks have a problem with what we do because it’s not the “normal” or prescribed way to have sex and this isn’t all that surprising.  Women, in particular, can get me trying not to laugh at them when they ask this question because, um, shouldn’t it be kinda obvious and more so since they suck dick and get fucked, too?  Again, the thing here is that a woman sucking cock and getting fucked (and, yes, even in the ass if they like it like that) is considered to be normal and even moral (depending how one cares to look at it).  It stands to reason – at least in my opinion and this doesn’t apply to everyone – that if people will do whatever they feel they have to do to have sex, the morality of it can be set aside so that they can.  Let’s face a fact, shall we?  We know there are rules about having sex and we also know that not everyone adheres to them.  We have different reactions to this very human behavior but even when the reaction is in the negative, it is still what it is – it’s still sex.

My purpose for writing this – and as it came to mind yesterday – isn’t about debating the morality of bisexual men (in particular) having sex with other men; again, the rules are clear about this and this clarity has never changed the fact that men like sucking cock and even being fucked and for the same reasons heterosexual people do it:  Because it feels good.  I’m not even gonna get into a debate about why the moral imperative is in place to begin with except to say that if I’m sucking some guy off or some fucking is going on, um, ain’t no babies being conceived.  The angst against oral sex – blow jobs – exist because if girlfriend is draining homey’s nuts, she’s not going to get pregnant; likewise, having anal sex with her isn’t going to accomplish that necessary task of perpetuating our species but, again and forever, none of the rules we have in place about sex and who we’re supposed to have sex with change the fact that we – humans – have sex and in whatever way floats our boats… because it feels good to do it.

It’s the thing that makes me say that people who don’t suck cock (in particular) can’t possibly understand how and why it feels good to do it and, really, people who don’t engage in oral sex at all lack a point of reference and since they don’t, doing it doesn’t make a lot of sense to them… and, no, it doesn’t matter, for the purpose of this writing, why they don’t engage in oral sex – and I’m not particularly talking about those folks who have tried it and have determined that it doesn’t work for them – this is for those folks who see the words “oral sex” and go, “Ew!  That’s nasty!” or have some personally moral reason for never wanting to be involved with it.

The answer to questions about doing what we do as bisexuals is rather simple:  We like sex and we’re not all that particular about whether it’s a male or female partner in this.  And, yeah, those bisexuals who haven’t had the sex may or may not be missing out on something – that depends on their situations, of course, but even if they want to, um, it’s not all that hard to figure out why they want to:  Because it feels good (or they’re betting that it does); I mean, really, is there any other reason?  It really is about the intimacy that sex can bring to the table and that this intimacy isn’t restricted to just men getting jiggy with women; sure, this is the moral and “right” way to go about basking in the intimacy of sex but, again, humans have this amazing ability to override morality so they can get their rocks off – it really isn’t that hard to understand if one can step back and look at sex for what it is instead of what it’s supposed to be and, yeah, sure, not everyone can do or accept this because heterosexual sex is really hammered into all of us at some point:  It’s the only way to have sex and, well, that’s not the truth, is it?

I thought about all of this – while silently cursing my computer for derailing my train of thought – and I found myself smiling and shaking my head at the same time because I know that the objections I’ve heard regarding my sexual activities with men have all been mostly moral; I’ve heard objections around the health risks and they’re not discounted or ignored… but it makes me wonder if the people who object to my love of sucking dick really understand the true nature of sex and not just the rules we’re supposed to play by.  I’ve said this stuff in many forms to dissenters and questioners and, most of the time, hearing me tell them that it’s just sex puts a rather baffled look on their face and all because it’s not sex as they understand it.  Oh, don’t get me wrong – a lot of those same people do, in fact, get it and they’re like, “Oh, okay, I get it… but I could never do that.” and this makes sense – this kind of sex just ain’t for everyone’s sensibilities.  What I have always found amusing at times is that there are people who believe that just because they couldn’t or wouldn’t do it, that means that no one should do it.

Ah, man, people are just fucking amazing, aren’t they?  These were the thoughts I had yesterday and I don’t expect or require anyone to agree with them or see my point of view on this.  Bisexuals – male and female – have sex in the way we do because, um, we like having sex and asking us why we do what we do can be a question that answers itself because all you have to do is ask yourself why you like to have sex (and in whatever way you like having it) and see there are really two answers that, really, have no real boundaries:  Because you want to and because it feels good.  Maybe I might get into the morality of it all in some future writing but for this writing, I wasn’t thinking about it.


14 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Doing What We Do

  1. Luxuriously sexy adult toys by SS

    18 October 2015 at 03:00

    Hi Kdaddy, Man I could listen to you talk all day. I have always like your preseption on life.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. gemmi72

    1 September 2021 at 15:59

    I love your attitude! We have all the different forms of sex we can because we like it and it feels good. The prohibition against non-procreative sex is actually part of the Cannon Law of the Catholic church. Catholic wedding vows in their purest form also include a statement about procreating as part of the function of marriage. These are the reasons the Catholic Church won’t openly support homosexual relationships. I don’t want to get into a debate about why the Church can’t update it’s teaching. Most people DON’T get how difficult that process would be but it is important to note that the teachings of ALL other Christian faiths in the world are adaptations of this version of Christianity. So this aversion to homosexuals and non-procreative sex has some ancient and deep roots.

    Having said that all power to you and men who embrace their interests and desires. I have recently come across some very manly men who like to suck cock and as a woman I find it very very sexy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kdaddy23

      1 September 2021 at 17:07

      Oh, the Catholic Church canon is well-known to me and I know how impossible it would be for the Church to change their “minds” about canon and it’s just as unlikely that the other major religions would change their views either.

      But many bisexuals wind up having that crisis of faith because we know what the rules are and almost every one I know – including myself – has reasoned that as long as we have our relationship with God, it’s all good and, classically, if He didn’t want us to be this way, we wouldn’t be – it wouldn’t even be possible.

      But it is and, admittedly, the fact that it’s forbidden for me to suck cock makes doing it even better.

      Liked by 1 person

      • gemmi72

        1 September 2021 at 23:50

        For many men that is the attraction


      • kdaddy23

        1 September 2021 at 23:54

        Oh, it is highly attractive and that putting it mildly.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. gemstrong63

    7 November 2021 at 05:44

    As a bisexual female I loved reading this post. So often I have been told if I’m into women then I am lying to myself about my sexuality, this usually comes from other women who have gone, ‘eww! I never knew you were gay!’ When I explain in a very bored tone, that I am not gay, I’m bisexual, they say that I am claiming bisexuality as a cop out for not coming out as gay. I usually lose interest in trying to explain the difference to them at this point and walk away before I unload on their small-mindedness.
    I couldn’t care less what other people think about my bisexuality except the man or woman I choose to spend my time with and have copious amounts of sex with whenever possible! I just enjoy sex, in whatever form that comes in. I am attracted to people, not men only, or women only, people. Their personality, but most importantly their minds turn me on and that is where the attraction lies. What comes after that is just an extension of that initial attraction for me.
    Very interesting post kdaddy, thank you for the thoughts. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • kdaddy23

      7 November 2021 at 06:21

      Thank you for your very candid comment!

      Liked by 1 person

    • kdaddy23

      8 November 2021 at 11:36

      I re-read your comment and one part makes me wonder what the hell people think. If someone tells you that because you’re into women that you’re lying to yourself about our sexuality, um, how is that a lie? The problem is their very closed-minded view of sexuality to think that people are either straight or gay and that no one in their right mind would go both ways.

      The funny thing about this is that I heard this sentiment – and the accusation of being gay – way back in the 1960s. It says some very bad shit about our collective mindset, doesn’t it? Like you, I got to a point where I got tired of trying to explain it to people and just accepted that people are going to believe what they want about this even if what they believe is wrong… and even more so when I prove to them that what they believe is wrong since, duh, I’m bisexual.

      Liked by 1 person

      • gemstrong63

        8 November 2021 at 15:30

        Yep, small minds think small things, apparently choice is not something they can cope with, it has to be black or white, straight or gay, male or female but you can’t have both, because, well … that’s greedy or wrong, or sick, or twisted or any of the other silly names these ignoramuses come up with. Society dictates we should be one or the other, I do love to flip the bird at society as often as I am able and do my own thing. I am a full on card carrying bisexual woman who loves men and women equally. I adore minds, sexy, like minded, unrestricted by social norms, and hopefully with a little kink in there just for the hell of it kind of minds. Intelligence is a real turn on for me, I don’t care how that intelligence is packaged on the outside, it can be male or female I will happily play with both. Choice is good my friend. Choice gives us a much wider scope to express our happiness and sexuality in a healthy way. Not feel like we have to close off one part of ourselves to suit the narrowminded who walk amongst us.

        Liked by 1 person

      • kdaddy23

        8 November 2021 at 15:44

        I wholeheartedly agree! I’m often amazed and saddened to see people losing their shit over bisexuality and purely because they can’t accept the truth or the proof that we exist and, oh, yeah, we’re not gay. I’m not sure how someone can accuse me of being gay when I can tell them – and in very great detail – how many women I’ve had sex with. By and large, not many gay men would be a of a mind to have sex with a woman so knowing this – even if it really isn’t a given – would suggest that if I’m having mad crazy sex with women as well as getting jiggy with men, um, I’m not gay. Don’t fit the general description. I’m… something else. In that gray area that many people believe doesn’t exist. Yet, here I am, right in the “middle” and I’m not the only one who has found their way there.

        And I do not ever mind letting other people put their ignorance on display because they don’t realize that they’re not making me look like the bad guy – they’re putting themselves in that role because they really have no idea what the hell they’re talking about.

        Any time I can hear some shit today that I first heard damned near 60 years ago, yeah – something ain’t right… and it’s not bisexuals who ain’t right.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. gemstrong63

    8 November 2021 at 16:15

    It is indeed a shame that the right to determine our own sexuality based on our own needs still has not reached the 21st century. It is an even greater shame that a lot of those same people who would call us ‘wrong’ are probably hiding their own secret desires to try for themselves what we do openly and without guilt. I guess society needs to drop the ‘norm’ from its vocabulary and expand it to allow people to just be who they feel they have to be. No drama, no mud slinging, no persecution, no outdated biblical law to hinder our true selves from finding what we need to be happy with ourselves. The world would be a much happier place to live in that much is for sure. When you point out that shit that is still being said today that was being said almost 60 years ago, it makes me sadder for them than it does for me, they are the ones carrying that shit around, I shed it years ago, roughly when I had my first female/female experience and said WOW I’m so doing that again!
    People aren’t happy unless they can judge someone else and find them wanting in their eyes. It makes them think they are better than the rest of us. Like I said, small minds. They have shallow lives and not enough going on in them. I’m too busy being happy and satisfied to judge! 😈😋

    Liked by 1 person

    • kdaddy23

      8 November 2021 at 21:43

      I reasoned things like this: If we do not have the moral right to be intimate in any way we want to, then I take the right for myself and to hell with the moral consequences. And I know many self-righteous hypocrites who’ve decried anything that looks like homosexuality but I knew where their sexual skeletons were hiding since I helped to stuff them bones in their closet.

      Society might not be as grown up as they think but since I had the mandate to grow up and understand what that really meant, okay. I started young and just loved the difference between boy and girls and having sex with them. All along, that bullshit you hear to day was being said and confirming that it’s always been bullshit and more so when I knew many guys and gals who were just like me… and one of us turned out bad for it.

      We live in a glass house and we stupidly Ike throwing stones in the house. As such, I’m content to be on the outside and watching them keep on being stupid. At the least, it’s sex – get over the dumb shit already.

      Liked by 1 person

      • gemstrong63

        9 November 2021 at 05:19

        That last sentence made me laugh out loud, I can’t tell you how many times I have said a similar sentence, ‘It’s sex- get over it for goodness sake!’ It’s not like they’re in any danger of me giving them an orgasm any time soon! Way too buttoned up for my tastes! 😈💋😋
        Fabulous blog Sir, fabulous discourse, and a pleasure to find a like mind. I shall be reading your work as often as time allows! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • kdaddy23

        9 November 2021 at 14:36

        Your continued reading and comments are more than welcomed – thank you!

        Liked by 1 person


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