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On Being a Side Piece

It’s been widely accepted that being a side piece is the worst relationship scenario there is, a clear violation of the rules of monogamy if there ever was one.  Getting involved with a married person is never, ever supposed to happen; there’s supposed to be no form of logic or common sense that can explain why someone would willingly violate the directives of keeping only unto and letting no one put asunder as well as not coveting, committing adultery, etc..

It’s just not ever supposed to happen… which (wait for it) has never changed the fact that it has always happened and, in some bygone era and cultures, having a side piece or being one was okay as long as one’s duties to the person they were married to were being carried out.  Those folks who staunchly and fiercely believe in the tenets of monogamy have said that not only is this wrong but it doesn’t make sense:  Why would someone want to be a side piece?

Um, because it works for them?  Because monogamy is, basically, logically flawed and the concept of one person being able to take care of every single need of another person until one or both of them dies can’t always be true when you look at life and how people can really behave?  It’s not that people can’t do this – a lot of people do and they stay true to the rules with dogged determination and purpose… but the reality is that not everyone can do this and the truth of this – and as much as a lot of people never want to admit – is kinda obvious.

Why would a woman want to get involved with a married man and become a homewrecker?  I can explain this with an explanation of something I noticed when I got married.  Now, I can’t say that before I got married, I had a big problem getting involved with women but after I got married, holy shit:  There were women all up on me and some who, if they knew me before I got married, wouldn’t give me the time of day if their life depended on it.  And, as I observed, it wasn’t just happening to me; guys that wouldn’t even speak to my wife were now very interested in getting to know her in a very biblical way and as I worked on trying to figure out what was up with all of this, almost every married person I knew told me about this, that for some reason, the moment others found out they were married, they were swamped with people who wanted a piece of them – and even if their target was the least popular (or desirable) person around.

The explanation is… complicated.  I’ve had women tell me that a married man is a much better man than a single dude; the married man represents stability, security, and a proven commodity because if he wasn’t, um, his wife wouldn’t have married him and, yeah, some women very much want that for themselves; when you turn this the other way, the married woman is damned attractive because, simply, she must have some high-quality shit going on with her if her husband married her; she’s now a known and proven commodity and this is much better and attractive than some single chick who seems like she ain’t got much of anything going for her.  And, yeah – the taboos against fucking with married people can be more of a rush than the deterrent it’s supposed to be.

The much shorter version is that some people would rather be a part of something than to be a part of nothing.  It’s kinda the same dynamic that causes cheating which, no matter how you care to look at it, happens when someone’s needs are being ignored or otherwise not met to their satisfaction.  Single folks have needs, too, and needs that, by and large, go ignored or unfulfilled since they’re not in a relationship so if they can be a side piece to someone in a relationship, they can have their needs met albeit illicitly because the person in the relationship isn’t supposed to be a part of this for any reason.  Now, some people raise all kinds of hell about being a side piece, saying that such a person wants all of the benefits but none of the responsibilities of a relationship – and for some, this is true… but like so many other things, not the whole truth because for someone who’s willing to be a side piece, they are assuming some responsibilities, oh, like, say, taking care of those things that the rightful partner ain’t handling.

Those of you who are fiercely monogamous probably can’t accept this but I’m telling you – and yes, from experience – that it does happen – it has always happened; indeed, there are experts in this who suggest that humans weren’t meant to be monogamous, that putting ourselves on lockdown like this wasn’t the way we existed prior to religion/morality taking hold and, well, being monogamous is really an unnatural behavior for humans.  Those of you who are rabidly monogamous will say this is bullshit but, um, nah, not really and there’s way too much evidence that says that it’s not the bullshit you believe it to be because, yep, some people want to be a side piece or they need a side piece – and, sometimes, not because their partner is failing at anything.

It’s not supposed to be that way… and none of this changes what the reality is.  Okay, so the whole side piece thing has been known to wreck homes, which is always seen as a very bad is, in and of itself, a fact of the matter.  Like I said, this whole thing is horribly complicated and complex because you’re pitting moral behavior against human behavior and, well, when has that ever worked as expected and consistently so?  We tend to see the whole side piece thing as a purely sexual one… but, sometimes, there’s no sex involved or even wanted; what is wanted and needed is another emotional connection and simply because for some, just having one emotional connection to someone isn’t enough.

Ah, now you fanatical believers in monogamy are about to pull the “greedy card” out, aren’t you, and then slap down the “unable to stay committed to anything” card along with the “dishonorable cretin” card, right?  You believe, without question, that if you’re in a relationship with someone, you are – and can – be everything that the other person will ever need… even though you also know that, um, ya might not be when you get right down to it; you get into a relationship and the one thing you fear is that you won’t or can’t be everything to the other person but, like everyone who believes in being monogamous, that if for any reason you can’t be the alpha and omega for the other person – whether you find this to be the case or your partner does – oh, well – that’s just the way it is and the way it’s supposed to be and if you can’t deal with it, get the fuck out and stay out.

Except the people who’d gladly be a side piece – and someone who finds themselves in need of one – don’t necessarily agree with that assessment, do they?  This whole dynamic not only exposes the flaws in monogamy but does a great job of exposing personal flaws and ones that are expected and required to be accepted without question… except that’s not always the case, is it?  It can be summed up with something I’ve said time and time again:  If you don’t (or can’t) take care of your man/woman, someone else can and will.  This is a truism that pretty much everyone doesn’t want to accept, which is quite understandable since monogamy and morality says that it can’t be true and that it should never be true… but there’s an out available once the truth kicks you in the crotch:  Divorce or breaking up because it’s also inconceivable for one to have/be a side piece and keep the relationship alive and well, right?  It can’t be done, it’s not supposed to ever be done… but the reality, well, now, it can say otherwise, can’t it, because it works rather nicely for a whole lot of people in a relationship and, yeah, for both people in the relationship.

If you don’t understand how all of this works, then there’s some shit you’re missing or, sorry to say, in denial about.  The simple thing about side pieces is that being one or having one meets needs that being solely monogamous cannot provide.  Most people would rather eat shit and die before taking or becoming a side piece… and the operative word is “most” because, well, like it or not, being or having a side piece works for a lot of people and couples – alternative relationships or ethical non-monogamy or even negotiated infidelity have always been options and ones that have been exercised, explored, enabled – pick a word that goes along with this.  We refused to believe this, we insist that this shit ain’t the way things are supposed to be… and in the grand scheme of things – read this as life itself if you want to – it can mean absolutely nothing.  All one has to do in order to implement the side piece dynamic is to put together a list of things you aren’t going to do for anyone and that includes the person you’re in a relationship with; the moment you stop trying to be all that your partner will ever need, well,  you might find out what’ll happen or, inversely, the moment your partner develops that list and has stopped being your alpha and omega, hmm, that side piece thing suddenly makes sense.  Sure, the dissolution of the relationship is “easier” to do and our morality says that if y’all can’t make it work the way it’s supposed to work, throw it all away and start over… which belies that fact that some people don’t want to throw it all away, that starting over “from scratch” is a worse-case scenario they’d not want to find themselves in and, so, despite how morally wrong it is, having a side piece or being one – and remaining in the comfortable confines of their relationship – just makes sense.

Like I said somewhere in this, there are some people who don’t have a problem with having just a slice of the pie instead of the whole thing; for them, it’s better to have a piece of something than it is to have all of nothing.  It is wanting all of the perks but none of the responsibilities?  Depends on the person, doesn’t it?  There are, in fact, people who are a side piece or who has one… and responsibility isn’t impacted at all; indeed, some are very damned happy to have more responsibility, as crazy as that might sound.  And, even in this, there’s one responsibility that, in my opinion, can never be avoided:  If you are a side piece or you have one, you have the additional responsibility for taking care of them and in whatever form that takes and in addition to any other responsibilities that exist.

The whole side piece thing is problematic, not just from a moral point of view, because when it comes to relationships, um, no one ever learns how to multitask because we’re all told to never learn how to multitask when it comes to love, sex, and relationships.  Again, we act as if it can’t be done and it’s not ever supposed to be done and, since all of this is supposedly and allegedly true, it will always fail.  Yep, it usually does… but not always… and this is the truth that we, on the whole, don’t ever want to see because that truth just fucks up everything we were taught to believe in.

Y’all can come back and barbeque my cute ass over this matter, point out that I’m wrong, hammer me with your personal beliefs about this and, yeah, I expect that to happen… but I’m just the messenger, the guy who has the fucking nerve to tell you that what you believe isn’t the whole truth of things and from the position of knowing that it isn’t the whole truth; this just ain’t some cockeyed theory – I know it for a fact and, yep, I’m anal retentive enough to dig down deep into the muck and nastiness of this to find the truth, your unwillingness to accept it notwithstanding.  So go right ahead and flame me to your heart’s content, if that makes you secure in what you know and believe and despite running the risk of being flash-fried, yep, you’ll still have my respect.

I just happen to know that what you believe in isn’t the whole truth of things, that’s all, and given the things I’ve experienced, eh, there’s not a whole lot you can say to me that’ll change what I’ve learned about this shit first-hand and by mere observation of others.  Maybe you’d insist that you’d never do such a thing or that it could never happen to you; you’d never find a reason to want a little something extra on the side – and that’s fine and, again it is respected.  But, I’m the guy who’ll say that a whole lot of people – and myself included – have said these very same things, only to have reality deliver that swift kick in the crotch or that cold slap in the face that serves as a wakeup call and opens our eyes more to reality than idealism.  Sure… it may never happen to you; you may never see reason to have a side piece or to be one – married people can be side pieces to other married people just in case you think this only involves single folks – and if it never happens, that’s a good thing.

I know that it can happen even though we’re taught otherwise… and I have the balls to speak on it.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 23 July 2015 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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Staying Alive, Staying Alive

An affair can be devastating for most people; there’s the pain and agony brought on by that sense of betrayal and one’s mind can be filled with a billion questions and starting with, “Why?”  Even if the relationship isn’t thrown away when the affair is uncovered, what remains is rife with difficulties, including a lack of trust and feelings of inadequacy and impotency, making staying together a very hard thing to do.

Can one survive an affair?  It is possible if you can find a way to look at things logically instead of emotionally and beginning with the often painful task of finding out why the affair happened in the first place.  See, we all get into relationships and with the thought that any cheating isn’t ever supposed to happen but also hiding in the back of our minds is that latent fear of infidelity crashing the party and, for most, ruining all of our dreams.  We think that there should never be a reason for an affair and that there can never be an excuse for such things… right up to the point where you see the reality of it all, that there’s always a reason, excusable or not.

In my opinion, on of the first rules of being in a relationship is, “If you don’t take care of your man/woman, someone else can and will.”  So, the first step to surviving and recovering from an affair is to find out how, why, when, and where this failed.  It’s not about assigning blame so much as it is uncovering the root cause of the situation and, no, it’s not going to feel good to dig through everything to get to the root cause and then effect repairs so that (a) this doesn’t happen again and (b) your life together can continue to move forward.  If you let your emotions run things, well, you’re fucked – there’s no other way to put it; the emotional shit storm will “force” you to end a relationship and one that, up until this critical moment, was a good relationship.  Your emotions will get you to believe that things are beyond salvage and, well, folks, your emotions aren’t telling you the truth; they won’t allow you to hear or accept the truth and as painful as it can be, if you want to save things, you have to hear the truth and accept it – and then work together to effect the changes that are necessary if you don’t want to – or even can’t – throw your relationship away.

If you’re the one who got cheated on, here’s an important thing to keep in mind:  Just because you don’t think the “cheater” had a reason for cheating that makes sense doesn’t mean they don’t have a reason and one that makes sense to them.  If you’re the one who cheated, well, you know good and damned well why you did and you’d better find a way to put that reason on the table and, no, lying about that reason isn’t going to serve anyone’s purpose because resolving this will never happen if the awful truth doesn’t come out.  Neither of you can adopt the position that this cannot be remedied and, yes, we are all led to believe that it cannot ever be fixed.

And, yes, when the reasons are revealed, if you don’t believe that shit just happens, well, change your mind about that one – because it does just happen.  Yeah, we look at this as someone being weak-minded and unable to resist temptation… but this can happen to the most strong-willed of us, too.  Yes, even when shit happens, there’s a conscious decision to allow things to proceed but if you can wrap your head around how chemistry works and the power of it (and most people can’t), you can better understand how shit can happen to anyone and at any time.  Sure, if it never happens, you can say that you’ve dodged the bullet and this is always good… but just don’t ever fool yourself into believing that it can’t ever happen.

I’m guessing, at this point, that you can see that the key to surviving an affair is communication and at a level a lot of people are just incapable of reaching and, at least in my opinion, it’s because either their emotions are totally in control of things or they just never learned how to communicate at all.  It’s hard to tell the truth when it comes to this and one can debate which is the worst thing – a bunch of lies or the truth, which can be as “simple” as one person’s failure to do the things they promised to do with and for their partner.  No one wants to hear the truth about themselves in this; we know that we’re only human and, as such, imperfect and prone to making mistakes but if/when you hear that your partner cheated on you because of something you didn’t do, yep, that’s totally fucked up and, better, makes it very hard to accept the responsibility for that failure – it’s easier to lay all of the blame on the person who cheated than it is to accept any responsibility for their actions or inactions if that’s the case.

All of this is such a hard thing to do, it’s no wonder that more people will choose to break up rather than do all the things that can be done to fix whatever was broken.  You can survive an affair… if you really want to survive it… because here’s another truth that is hard to accept:  If you cheated/got cheated on, something failed in the relationship… but if you cannot fix it – if you don’t want to fix it – that’s an even bigger failure, wouldn’t you agree?  No?  Well of course you might not see this as a failure but if you look at it intelligently and without any emotional input, yeah, you could have fixed things but you didn’t… and that is a fail all day long.  What’s that you say?  A relationship cannot survive without trust and once it’s broken, there’s little and/or nothing that can be done about it?  If you believe this – and a lot of people do – you’re not right.  Yes,  love and trust do play very nicely with each other but you can love someone without blindly trusting them; you will think it impossible but, no, it isn’t, not really… but the pain of it all will always tell you that it’s impossible.

Now, if both people can sit down and talk all of this out – but they just can’t agree on how to repair whatever got broken (which can also be seen as a failure, by the way), then this, in my opinion, is the real problem.  It’s not that someone cheated – it’s what happens afterward and in order for things to be repaired, you must effect change… and change, at the personal level (which is necessary) is so very hard to do.  If you are unwilling to do whatever it takes to take care of your man/woman, um, why are you even in a relationship in the first place?  And if you fear any situations where infidelity might rear its ugly head, why aren’t you doing all that you can to make sure it doesn’t show up?  Why aren’t the two of you talking about the state of the relationship, what’s working and what’s not working so that the things that need tweaking gets tweaked?  I’ve said that if you have a list of things in your head that you’re not gonna do and not even for love, then surviving an affair isn’t going to be in your future and more so if you cannot or will not change.

And, really, if you think that the person who cheated on you is being selfish, um, if you’re unwilling to change, aren’t you being just as selfish as they are said to be?  Survival in this calls for an intellectual pursuit and not so much an emotionally driven one.  Yes, everyone’s feelings matter – they have to – but solutions to survival in this call for clarity of thought and without letting your emotions make decisions.  You might even feel that this just isn’t possible but it is… if you don’t submerge yourself in all the negative feeling the discovery of an affair will bring to the table.  You might even feel that you’re not the one who has to change… and that’s not exactly the truth.  Maybe you didn’t do anything “wrong” to precipitate the affair, but you still have to adapt to the situation and, if you can, try to understand why the affair happened and accept that an affair can happen for reasons other than just sex.  But if it is – and, most of the time, sex is the end-product of that’s really an emotional thing, like, the cheating partner has reason to believe that you don’t love or care for them as much as you’ve said… or you’re not really doing or saying anything in this regard.  And if this is the case, sure, you have to change somethings about yourself if you want and need this relationship to continue.

Relationships fail because of affairs and not totally because the affair happened; they fail because one or both people cannot or will not get on the same page with each other about what which needs to be changed so that the relationship can get back on track and harmoniously so.  If you allow the negative feelings to keep running around in your head – and a lot of us do because now we feel that we can never trust or believe our partner, well, which thing would you rather do – keep dwelling on this or focusing your energies toward making things better?  Since we believe that a relationship can never be fixed if this happens, we tend not to try to fix it; it’s easier to hold on to the negative feelings than it is to set it aside for the greater good of the relationship.  It’s easier to blame the one who cheated, just as it is easier to totally disregard their reasons – and more so if, in their eyes, you’re the reason why they did what they did.

You can be angry and quote all the rhetoric about how and why an affair should never happen and in an attempt to deflect what is really a given about this:  If you don’t take care of your man/woman, someone else can and will.  If both of you work, from the very beginning, to prevent an affair from happening – and it’s all about effective communication – then the possibility of shit getting fucked up is lessened… but if you don’t work together on this – and this includes being willing and able to do whatever is necessary to preserve the relationship, at some point, the worst case scenario will become a reality.  Yes, this is very bad; it hurts like a son-of-a-bitch and that’s putting it mildly… but you both can survive this if both of you are willing and able to work toward the loftier goal of remaining in love with each other and moving forward together.

How do I know it can be done?  I did it so, yeah, it can be done.  I know that not everyone can do it and, no, I can’t begin to tell you exactly how incredibly difficult  it can be to get it done.  You have to decide what you’re willing to do for love and, yeah, sometimes, you have to be bold and daring and create your own special box to live in and one that will allow things to get fixed and in whatever way that has to take shape.  No, it’s not letting someone get away with something nor is effecting repairs a thing of being weak-minded or any other bullshit you might hear about this because it takes a great measure of strength to want to make things right again so that this never happens again; it takes a lot of strength and courage to continue on if you’re the cheater or they are because putting this behind you is so very hard to do and only the strongest people are able to do this and make it work again.

No, I’m not saying that if you are unwilling to make it work, that makes you some kind of weak-assed individual because it also takes strength to walk away from a relationship that cannot be fixed; I just know that it’s easier to walk away and deem the relationship beyond salvage than it is to work together and fix things so that the relationship can continue.  Whatever it was that caused the affair can be fixed… but only if both of you want and need to fix it; if you don’t, well, it is what it is.  See, this is the point where you see the truth about relationships and that once it begins, the work required by both people never, ever stops… and most of the time – and in my opinion, if you can communicate with each other openly and honestly about everything so that you both can keep your fingers on the pulse of the relationship, an affair can be avoided… if, always and forever, you are willing to do whatever is necessary to keep it from happening.  And, really, don’t you both have the responsibility of making sure it never happens to you?

And that’s the real trick of it, huh?  And, yeah, it’s one that most people just can’t figure out.  We cannot really accept any failing we may have – we get into a relationship and then, somehow, stop being human and think ourselves to be immune from our human failings and that a promise to always be faithful is proof against human nature and, yeah, shit just happening because it can.  The truth is very different; it’s harder to accept and believe and our emotions will almost always override our ability to look at this from an intelligent point of view; our ability to be objectively logical becomes impaired and the root cause – and there is always a root cause – stops being important because, well, we’re slaves to our emotions and that will effectively stop us from keeping our eyes on the bigger prize – to make the relationship continue to work as needed.

Eh, I know most of the people reading this aren’t going to agree and that’s fine – I gots no problem with that because you gotta do what you feel you gotta do.  I’m just the guy who’s telling you that if you want to survive this and continue to prosper, it can be done…

If you both want to.  I can tell you from personal experience with this that it can be done it wasn’t easy to do by any stretch of the imagination because the changes it took were hard to put into place on both sides of this situation.  But if you believe in the power of love, yeah, you can survive it and prosper.  It’s not about fault or blame; it’s not about forgetting and/or forgiving; it’s really about really knowing that you’re both human and, as such, imperfect.  Here’s the thing:  If you know that you are human and, thus, imperfect, how can you expect someone else to be perfect in all things?  Aren’t they human as well?  There’s a logic behind all of this if you can get past your emotions and see what the real deal is; the sad truth, though, is a lot of us cannot see past our emotions so the the logic escapes us and when it does, we never see what we can do to fix and survive this very human behavior.  No, not everyone cheats – that’s proven but once again, it’s not that cheating happens – it’s what you do after and if it does that really matters and, well, we know what most people do, don’t we?

Okay, y’all can start disagreeing with me now if ya want to…

 
6 Comments

Posted by on 22 April 2015 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: On the Down Low

https://foreverdreamingoflove.wordpress.com/2015/01/22/men-on-the-down-low/

Those of you interested in this topic should take a peek at what Forever wrote about this and, of course, the comments made (including my own).  Man, this is such a hot-button topic, ain’t it?  For those people who have that unshakable belief in monogamy, married or otherwise hooked up, the DL shouldn’t exist at all and that they should be all you will ever need, both emotionally and physically.

The truth, however, is somewhat different and I’ll say this right up front:  Being totally monogamous does work for a lot of bisexual men and women! But the truth is that it doesn’t always work because a bisexual’s partner just cannot provide for all of their needs and mostly because their partner simply isn’t equipped to do that, never mind being of a mind to be able to do anything about it.

I ain’t saying it’s right… but I understand it.  Forever provided some links that give tips and clues to figure out if someone’s on the DL and while I don’t doubt that such information would be helpful to some, I don’t think that it’s the thing they should be paying the most attention to:  They should be paying attention to why their man or woman is on the DL and, nope, sexuality ain’t the only reason why they’re there.

Now, should a bisexual let their partner know that they’re bisexual?  Yes, they should… and then be prepared to deal with whatever happens after they do.  I was just told that some women don’t care that their man is bi and, yep, there are men who don’t care if their woman likes women as long as their sexual activities are confined to them alone.  Having said that, there are still many men and women who would just lose their fucking minds to find out that the person they’re with is bisexual and this ain’t a good thing by any stretch of the imagination.

You can’t really “blame” them because monogamy and heterosexuality are what they are; it’s the way we’re supposed to live, love, and relate… which still never, ever, changes the fact that this ain’t always what happens.  You’re not supposed to cheat or even think about it; likewise, there’s never supposed to be a reason for anyone to hit the DL and when it happens, there is absolutely and positively no excuse for going there.  And if you believe that,  I’m about to ruin your whole day because what you think is supposed to happen doesn’t always happen and that sexuality doesn’t always play into this.  So while you can’t be blamed for believing this, you might be guilty of being a bit short-sighted if you can’t get your head around how such shit can happen and, you betcha, you could be the reason why it’s happening.

So… why do people cheat?  Some people just cannot be monogamous – they really and truly just don’t have what it takes to be monogamous and whether you feel this is good or bad is something I’ll leave up to you.  I’ve come to understand that people cheat when they feel that their needs are not being taken care of as they expect them to be and, hell, no, it is never what you think regarding their needs.  It’s rather simple (and not so much):  If you can’t give me what I need, here are my choices:

  1. Dump you and try to find someone who can provide for all of my needs, right now and in the foreseeable future.
  2. Sacrifice that which I need in favor of maintaining my relationship with you and not giving you a reason to be totally pissed with me.
  3. Do something about that which you either won’t or cannot do and, hopefully, without fucking everything up in the process.
  4. Try to convince you to let me have my cake and eat it, too.

Monogamy only allows the first two choices and the third, well, don’t even think about invoking option number three, right?  I state, and probably to the dismay of my followers, that which I see is a hard-coded fact:  If I want to suck a dick, my woman doesn’t have one and, fuck no, sucking on a fake dick ain’t cutting it, which returns me back to those choices I just mentioned and, honestly, none of those choices are really what I’d call good ones, except maybe the fourth one… and let me know how that one worked for you.

Cara, a commenter on the aforementioned blog, said that being up front about your sexuality is important and, yep, I’d readily agree with that… but don’t a lot of us know what usually happens when we tell people that we like pussy and dick?  Honesty might be the best policy… but the truth will set you free and in ways you’d probably not want to experience; it might unburden your soul (which is what that saying really means) but it can also free you from your relationship, too, because let’s face it:  Not everyone reacts or responds in a positive way about bisexuality.  You can come clean with your man or woman and they can be very positive about it and, hopefully, this revelation will not automatically make them paranoid about anything that you’re doing when you’re not with them.

Hopefully, you’re not with someone who will take the fact that you’ve had sex with a man before and assume that you’re still doing it or planning to do it in the future.  Hopefully, you’re not with someone who just isn’t going to lose their fucking mind to (a) find out that you’re not entirely straight or (b) think that your sexuality exists because of them, like, for some reason, you have a reason to not like having sex with them.

Now, um, sometimes, that’s exactly why a bi guy might step out on you and, mostly, because of what you’re not gonna do and, no, it doesn’t matter why you won’t do it and the usual “culprit” in this is the much sought after blowjob.  If a woman refuses to suck her man’s dick and/or won’t suck him off, well, that can be a problem and conventional thinking says that if she can’t or won’t do it, too bad for you, fella – you’re just gonna have to go without that particular pleasure.  I can (again) tell you that I have sucked the dick of many a married (or otherwise) guy simply for that reason alone; I’m not saying it’s right… I just understand it.  I know, because I’ve been there just like most guys, that when you’re with a woman who has a long list of things she ain’t gonna do, that’s a problem and one that, conventionally, we have zero recourse with.  You don’t really fault her in this because most women have a damned good reason for not wanting to do it, just as they have a reason why they might do it on special occasions, like a birthday or anniversary (or if you spent a shitload of money on them).  None of this changes the fact that, yeah, this is a need he might have – and, you’re damned right if you think this is also true about eating pussy – and for some men – and women – it doesn’t take that much of a leap in logic that if you’re not going to do it, someone else will be more than willing and able to do that which you cannot or will not do.

Yep, it sucks… but it is a given that none of us want to accept.  You can maintain and preach about monogamy being the best and only way until you turn blue in the face but, yeah, that your partner could wind up on the DL because you are unable or otherwise incapable of seeing to all of their needs is a stone cold fact of life.  The blog I mentioned was about bisexual men and, sheesh, yep, we’re more known for being on the DL than women are… but if you think women aren’t out there on the DL, well, I’m going to once again ruin your day and tell you that they’re out there, too, and for the same reasons why a bi guy is out there:  If she wants the touch of a woman, homeboy, you ain’t a woman – you are just unqualified to take care of her needs in this and just like men can be, they’re not willing to (a) dump their man or (b) sacrifice their needs or (c) know for a fact that he’s not gonna let her have her cake and eat it, too (or is it pie in this situation?).

I ain’t saying it’s right… I just understand it.  I understand that a bi guy will wind up on the DL not because he doesn’t love his woman or because he doesn’t love having sex with her; it’s because he has a need that she cannot provide for.  Just as there are women who crave the touch of another woman, there are men who have that same craving so it’s not so much about what’s being done than it is who’s doing it and while one can look at the act or acts and think that there’s no difference in play when a woman sucks cock and a man does, I can tell you that there is a difference and it’s not easily explained why it’s different.  There is a difference between sucking dick and eating pussy that’s beyond that which might appear to be obvious and, fuck, I can barely explain it – and I can explain most things most of the time.  I can tell you that the differences live deep within us, that they are both subtle and intangible but they exist just the same and it’s the thing that, at the least, makes me say that a woman can throw all the pussy at me that I can handle – or even more than I can handle – but it cannot replace my need to have another man’s dick in my mouth and vacuuming up all of his spunk.

Is there a way to keep your man or woman off the DL?  Yep… but you’re probably not gonna like it because that solution takes monogamy and flushes it right down the toilet.  Does becoming open enough to allow for one’s sexuality make sense?  Yeah, it does… but the question is always one of how damned likely is that gonna happen?  And because it’s almost too easy to assume that this “pipe dream” wouldn’t happen – and it usually doesn’t – you’re right back to those choices that aren’t exactly what even I’d call ideal.  So, now, you know that your guy or gal is bisexual and they’re not allowed to do anything about their other needs… um, what do you think is gonna happen next?

For some, hitting the DL is “automatic” but for most people, it actually takes some time before the decision to do this is made.  What you now have to deal with is someone with some serious needs that are not being met and even objected to (I should be all that you will ever need!) and now a seed of discontent has been planted and more so if the person objecting is what I’d call rabidly homophobic or has that fanatical belief in monogamy.  For a period of time, it can be ignored but they know it’s there and the longer this doesn’t get taken care of, the bigger that seed will grow… and now you have a very unhappy person on your hands and there’s just no telling what they’re gonna do about it.  They could do nothing except keep being frustrated and depressed about not having that need met (or having their sexuality trashed, vilified, or otherwise discounted) or they could say, “Fuck it and fuck you – I’m leaving!” but since that might not be the best thing for their overall situation, um, exactly what do you think they might choose to do?

If you believe, deep down in your heart of hearts, that you are all that anyone should ever need, consider this a wakeup call because, um, you just might find out the hard way that you aren’t and can’t be – nothing personal.  As I’ve said so very often, if you have a very long list of things you’re not gonna do for your man or woman – and no matter how badly they need it – well, take a guess at what might happen other than them dumping you.  If you think that being in a relationship with them is about your idea of being in a relationship more than what their idea is, you might have a potential problem on your hands.  If you think that being in a relationship is about your needs more than theirs, ditto.  And, like it or not, believe it or not, it is very fucking true that if you don’t or can’t take care of your man or woman, someone else can and will do it for you… and then send them back to you happier than you could have made them.

I don’t condone it; I’m not saying that it’s right for someone to go on the DL when they’re in a relationship:  I just understand it.  See, when you get your partner concerned more about “me” than “us” you’re gonna probably have a DL problem or you’re gonna find yourself all by yourself.  I’m not saying that one shouldn’t believe in monogamy and hold true to all that it means, but I am telling you even when your partner wants to spend the rest of their life with you, monogamy is never going to take care of all of their needs and you won’t be able to do it even if you swore before God Himself to do just that and if you did take that oath, you pretty much just perjured yourself, huh?  You might believe that they should give up those desires you’re incapable of taking care of – or unwilling to take care of – and I’m here to tell you the truth that you don’t want to accept, that being, there are some people who aren’t going to do that and sexuality be damned because, at least in my opinion (and I might be alone in this), Rule Number One – look after your own ass first – doesn’t ever get revoked.

It’s not that your man or woman is on the DL as much as it is why they are there.  You might be the reason; their sexuality might be the reason; shit and damn, they could be there because they believe they have the right to be there when you’re not giving them enough of what you have to offer.  The devil isn’t in the act, as much as we’d like to believe; nope, the devil is very much in the detail.  For some, it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission and more so when, in a monogamous situation, you aren’t very damned likely to get permission and the only “permission” you might receive is to be single again.

I ain’t saying it’s right or that it always happens or could happen when you’re hitched to a bisexual.

I just understand it.

 

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The Affair

I would suppose that, in the minds of some, I’m not really all that nice of a person because I cheated on my wife and for the most stupid of reasons:  She cheated on me first.  Today, I wouldn’t even go there but back then, it seemed like a good thing to do before I found out that it wasn’t… but let me tell you what happened…

I began to suspect that something wasn’t right; every time I wanted sex from my wife, she had a boatload of excuses, from being tired to telling me she was too tender for sex due to her underwear chafing her.  None of her excuses made sense – well, not completely – but the excuses were coming at times where shit just didn’t add up, if you know what I mean.  Even back then, I knew that what you suspected was one thing and that what you could prove was very different… and I had a great deal of suspicion and zero proof.  This went on for a while and when we did have sex, her behavior was more than suspect; see, women think that they can have sex with someone else and their man would never find out and probably because most guys aren’t that observant and they don’t know what to look for but I figured it out, letting my observations build up until I had enough “probable cause” to confront her with my suspicions.

Oh, hell, yeah, she categorically denied that she was doing something wrong but I leaned on her, hammering her with my suspicions and observations until she folded like a wet paper towel and confessed that she had been fucking other men behind my back.  I was surprisingly calm; any other guy having his suspicions confirmed would, sadly, beaten his woman unmercifully.  Oh, I was pissed to no end but not to the point where I was going to start hitting on her; for one, my mother raised me better than that and, for the other, while this was a very bad situation, it wasn’t worth going to jail for.  I sat and listened to the details of her infidelity because I really wanted to know why she felt the need to do this and, of course, if I had anything to do with her decisions in this.  Oh, shit, yeah, it was hard to listen to but I knew I had to hear all of it… and I did… and I was already plotting my revenge.

I eventually learned a lesson that a lot of people learn:  The way to deal with this situation isn’t going out and committing a revenge fuck; not only does that actually compound the issue but the only situation where two wrongs make a right is in mathematics.  Even though something in the back of my mind was pointing this out to me, fuck no – I’d been cheated on and, worse, it wasn’t even because of anything I did or didn’t do so, uh-huh, was I ever gonna teach her a lesson and give her an idea of how ugly a feeling it is!  Before she even finished talking about what she had done to me – and to us as a whole – I not only knew what I was going to do, I knew exactly who I was going to do it with – all I had to do was put it all in motion and, of course, pick the right moment for my revenge.

The woman I picked to help me exact my revenge was one who made no bones about the fact that if I wasn’t married, she’d fuck me nine ways to Sunday and all I had to do was go to her and say, “Hey, do you remember telling me that if you had the chance, you’d fuck me?”

She said, “Yeah… and I meant that shit, too!”

I said, “Well, here’s your chance!”

She was out of her clothes so fast that I was kinda surprised she didn’t hurt herself in the process and once I got undressed, it was on.  In retrospect, it was weird; I knew what I was thinking but, at the same time, I don’t know what I was thinking about.  I was angry and I had even asked myself whether or not I was about to fuck this woman just because I was angry but, nope, there was some lust – okay, a lot of lust – for her as well and I knew – or I thought I knew – that because I wanted to fuck her and my lust for her was genuine, that took my being angry and set it aside… which, of course, it didn’t but I couldn’t see that at the time; my need for revenge was blinding me to a great many things, things that would be revealed in short order.

We went from kissing each other as if our lives depended on it to going down on each other and, yeah, I can easily admit that it was damned good, from the way her pussy tasted and the way she came so easily right down to the way she sucked my dick, sucking it like she wasn’t afraid of sucking dick, as evidenced by the way she made me explode in her mouth even though I had the presence of mind to warn her that I was gonna lose it.  Not only did she make me lose it, she didn’t stop sucking me until I was good and hard again.

But after I busted that first nut, there was something… ugly and sickly poking around in my mind; it was telling me that I just fucked up big time but, honestly, while I was aware of this, I wasn’t really paying too much attention to it because she was still sucking my dick and I was still eating the stuffing out that pussy.  She said, “Come on, put it in me, baby!” and I actually wrenched my back a little because of how fast I got into position to enter her and, whew, my dick slid into her like a hot knife through butter; she gasped, I gasped, and we were humping away at each other like it was illegal.

Which was when my mind said to me, “Well, it is illegal – what the fuck are you doing?  You know you shouldn’t be doing this!”  I started to get a really sick feeling in my stomach that was getting harder to ignore; I felt myself shift into some kind of auto-pilot; I was still banging the shit out of that pussy… but now in a very detached way because my conscience succeeded in getting my full attention and I can’t even begin to tell you what it was telling me except to say it kept pointing out how wrong I was and in every way it could imagine – and there were a lot of ways.  I don’t know if she even noticed that something was going on with me; she was too busy having a great deal of fun fucking back at me, cursing lustily with her legs locked tightly around me and her nails digging in to my back; I could feel her pussy contracting around me each time she came and, honestly, she pretty much deafened me with her very loud proclamations that she was cumming.  Between my second wind and the utterly horrible feeling swirling around in my head, I wasn’t even close to busting a nut in her – in fact, my conscience was suggesting strongly that I just stop and go no further but, ah, I don’t know, that just didn’t seem right, if that makes any sense – so I kept going until I finally creamed her… and it felt anything other than good.

I’m locked in place by her legs and arms; my cock is still twitching and shit even as it starts to shrink inside her; she’s telling me how much she enjoyed fucking me and other nice things… and the only thing I could think of was, “What the fuck did you just do?”  I felt so sick to my stomach it wasn’t funny; my conscience didn’t help matters any, either, taking the moment to remind me that, uh, you probably got this woman pregnant and then showing me all the fucked up shit that would cause.  I finally withdrew and we cleaned up and got dressed; I was listening to just how pumped up she was and the more she talked about how good the sex was, the sicker I felt because I was now fully aware of the fact that I just used this woman to do something that I shouldn’t have done in the first place and, yeah, there’s a reason why they say the following things:  Revenge is a dish best served cold and when you’re plotting revenge, first, dig two graves.

The guilt was hammering me like a Cat 5 hurricane; it was consuming me so hard that I wanted to throw up.  I couldn’t wait to leave her and head home and, honestly, I don’t know how I managed to tell her that I had one hell of a time with her and not sound fake in doing so; my mind was so fucked up that I even agreed to get with her again the next day for more of the same – and my conscience took that as another reason to kick my ass even harder.  I don’t think I got too far from her crib before I was bending over and throwing up all over the sidewalk; I even had a “funny” moment in thinking that anyone who saw me yakking all over the street (and myself) would think that I had had too much to drink.  I eventually got my shit together enough to make it home; thanks to my well-executed plan, I knew my wife wouldn’t be home so it was no biggie for me to get cleaned up and to start the load of clothes that were waiting to be washed.  But that also meant that I had time to think about what I’d done and if I had anything left to throw up, I would have done just that as my guilt beat me like the proverbial redheaded stepchild… until I asked myself, “What the fuck do I have to feel guilty over?”

The self-justification process kicked in and the simple – and very stupid – reply that came back was, “I wouldn’t have done this if she hadn’t done it first!  She betrayed me – she betrayed us and everything marriage stood for!  All I did was get even!”  Yep, for a guy as smart as I was, I was also pretty stupid, too – but it would be a few years in the future before I’d fully realize just how stupid that justification was.  Later that evening, when my wife got back home and the kids were put to bed, we made love (or fucked, take your pick) and I didn’t have that triumphant feeling I thought I’d have, you know that, “Hah!  You have no idea what I was doing while you were gone!” kind of thing.  Still, my revenge wasn’t complete because stage two of my exquisite plot was to tell her what I had done and why I had done it… but, first, I had to go get more of that pussy because I stupidly promised I’d come back and get some more of it.

And I did, too; truth be told, it was even better than it was the first time and more so when she wanted me to pull out of her pussy and finish in her ass.  And I was into the sex with her… but not really; I knew that the only reason why I was in bed with her was because I told her I’d be there… when I shouldn’t have said that, but my mind was totally out to lunch when I agreed to fuck her again… oh, man, what a mess this is turning out to be! After the second go-round, she finally got around to asking me what made me remind her that she wanted to fuck me – and I told her why; I actually thought she’d get pissed off with me to learn that she was a tool for my revenge… but she wasn’t pissed – in fact, she was damned sympathetic and even said, “Man, that’s so fucked up – but I ain’t complaining ’cause I finally got to fuck you!” – then gave me a rather nice blow job to take home with me.

My conscience was fucking with me… but not as badly as it had the day before; it was time to put Phase 2 into action and tell my wife what I’d done and why I did it.  On the one hand, I just couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when I told her, to see the hurt and pain eating into her, just like it did to me; I couldn’t wait to blast her ass with my reasons for cheating and to let her know that it was her cheating that brought all of this about.  Oh, this was going to be so fucking sweet that I was practically bouncing off the walls with anticipation; she had hurt me and I was mere moments away from hurting her right back…

My telling her had the expected results; I had her in tears as soon as I told her that I had fucked “P,” and it was even sweeter since she knew “P;” oh, lawd, she was beyond furious and I was all kinds of rotten motherfuckers and, yep, I was actually enjoying her discomfiture and even said, as she was throwing shit all over the place, “Now you know how I felt, huh?”  But as I sat there watching her have the hissy fit to end all hissy fits, it wasn’t all that enjoyable any longer; I’d hurt her, to be sure, but I found that there was really no pleasure to be had and I started feeling rather lousy about it.  She finally wore herself out ranting and raving and, as she sat and cried, I found myself thinking about all the ways I could have – and should have – handled this without compounding the problem by doing what she did; I even asked myself why I didn’t think about these alternatives before I exacted my revenge?

When she looked at me and said, “I don’t know why I deserved to be treated like this!” I pretty much went totally ape-shit – but got a grip on myself quickly and answered her statement with, “What, did you really think you were going to do something like this and I wasn’t going to do something about it?  Would you have preferred that I did what other motherfuckers would have done and put your ass in the hospital?”

She didn’t have anything to say about that other than to say, “I’m sorry;” I said I was sorry, too, but kinda/sorta not really; I was now fully aware that I shouldn’t have done what she did but you know how it is:  Once you do something, you cannot undo it… and the pussy was good despite the circumstances that allowed me to get it.  My wife asked me if I was going to keep fucking “P” and I said, “That depends on you; if you’re gonna keep giving it up to other dudes, then I don’t see where you leave me much choice in the matter unless you wanna get divorced…”

Well, she didn’t want that to happen and, truth be told, neither did I.  A very uncomfortable silence descended upon us as we both thought about all of this; I knew I was thinking a whole lot of shit and, in that moment, I wasn’t sure what she was thinking so I was surprised when she finally said, “Let’s go to bed…” and, as you might expect, we had some hellified sex and, man, it was so weird because as we went at each other like it was our first time together, we were both talking about how good and/or bad the other people we had fucked were.  I remember lying in bed afterward, totally and completely sated and watching my wife snoring away and thinking why shit had to get to this point; I thought about all the things that could have – and somehow should have – taken place so that (1) she wouldn’t have felt the need (or been so gullible, by her own admission) to cheat on me and (2) I wouldn’t have had that knee-jerk reaction to respond in kind.  I lay awake with the sure knowledge that I did not want to go through this again… but also with the knowledge that, yeah, I had fun fucking “P”… but I shouldn’t have had fun; I shouldn’t have further broken the rules just because she did.  I wound up staying awake all night because thinking about this whole thing gave me such a headache that nothing I wound up taking could touch.

The next couple of days were business as usual… but not really; there was a tension between us that hadn’t gotten any better… but it hadn’t gotten any worse; I knew that something had to be said about it so that I/we would know what our next steps would be or if we were going to last long enough to have any next steps.  We finally started talking about it again and it became clear to me after a few more days of talking that the next time someone came along and enticed her out of her panties, she wasn’t going to tell them no for very long and I told her this, too, because it was the truth as I was beginning to understand it and even when she said that it wouldn’t happen again, I could hear in her voice that she wasn’t very confident.  The situation had a devastating effect on us – not even any doubts about that – but instead of building a wall between us, it opened the door for other illicit pleasures and instead of us looking at it as rule breaking, it was more like we were in the beginning stages of making our own rules.

Today, I look back in-depth at that moment and wonder about my behavior (more than hers); I can recall the sheer rage and fury I felt to have my suspicions confirmed and the evil laughter taking place in my mind as I plotted my revenge.  In a way, I’m kinda ashamed of myself because I didn’t once stop to think about whether or not my revenge could make a bad situation worse, that I thought – and like a lot of people in this situation might think – that an eye for an eye was the best way to handle the situation.  I could and should have been smarter but that doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t and, given how things turned out later, maybe it was a good thing that I wasn’t as smart as I should and could have been although I knew that violence wasn’t the answer, that’s for damned sure.  I used to sit and wonder how things might have been different had I not reacted the way I did… but I gave up trying to work it out because the stark reality had already set in and there was no sense is trying to believe that things would have turned out better – but knowing that they could have been a lot worse.

Sometimes, life really is a bitch and some of the lessons life teaches you can be rather harsh… but as you’ve seen me write hundreds of times, it’s not that you make mistakes – it’s what you do about it that, ultimately, will make all the difference in the world.  And things, it seems, always happen for a reason…

Gotta check on dinner now… see ya!

 
2 Comments

Posted by on 17 October 2014 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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Top Searches: Bisexual Cheating… Again

The Top Searches widget on my Dashboard had been silent for a while and when it did decide to come back to life, it said, “bisexual cheating” and I thought, “Hey, didn’t I write something about that a while ago?”  Come to find out that not only did I write about that, I wrote about it twice, “way” back in 2012 and earlier this year:  https://kdaddy23.wordpress.com/2012/08/30/bisexual-cheating/ and https://kdaddy23.wordpress.com/2014/01/23/bisexual-cheating-revisited/

Seeing this again, I wondered what else can be said about this that hasn’t already been said?  All I can really do is reiterate some stuff, beginning with the kinda obvious fact that being bisexual and in a relationship isn’t always the best situation to be in and that, having said that, bisexuals can be quite happy being in a relationship.  I can say again that cheating, as a whole, isn’t a confined thing and that means that anyone regardless of race, color, creed, religion, or sexuality could cheat if it served their purpose to do so.  But since the stereotype exists that bisexuals can’t be faithful in a relationship, it gives being bisexual more of a black eye because, as they say, we can’t seem to make up our minds about who we want to have some kind of a relationship – and “who” means men or women.

I can repeat that people cheat when their needs are not being met by the person they’re in a relationship – this is the part that makes infidelity a universal kind of thing because we should all know by now that monogamy mandates that if you’re in a relationship with someone, then you are expected and demanded to let that person take care of all of your needs; likewise, the person you’re with is also tasked with the same responsibility and monogamy isn’t a fan of change, i.e., when a person’s needs change, monogamy can’t account for the fact that a person’s needs can change beyond their partner’s ability to accommodate them and when that happens, well, you’re stuck unless you do one of several things:  Keep having your needs unfulfilled and stay with all the unhappiness this brings to the table; you can dissolve the relationship and throw away all that’s been invested in it; you can try to convince your partner to change the rules or otherwise modify their thoughts or behaviors so that your needs can be met (usually in exchange for something of equal or greater value); or you can cheat… and then hope you don’t get busted.

I can frown (but you didn’t see me do it) at the fact that people just assume that if you find yourself with a bisexual, they’re gonna cheat on you as a matter of course, like bisexuals have no other agenda than to cheat.  While most people abhor cheating, I’ve seen situations where the only thing the “offended” partner focuses on is the fact that they got cheated on and little focus is given to why their partner cheated on them.  Now, understanding the why of this doesn’t make it right; it doesn’t provide justification for such an immoral act and, usually, even when the why of it gets explained fully, it’s not gonna get you a “get out of jail free” card and your relationship, such as it was, will come to an early demise.

Everyone and regardless of their sexuality, gets stuck in a quandary:  They’re pretty sure that the person they’re getting into a relationship with can and will take care of their needs, just as they’re pretty sure of their ability to take care of their new partner’s needs… and then they find out that it ain’t happening because, for some reason, when you get into a relationship and you get past the honeymoon parts of it, shit changes and not always for the better and sex is usually the first victim of change, as in the lack thereof or a lack of quality or quantity or a change in “services required and rendered.”  Yes, people do try to work through these things while others, eh, they might not be so interested in putting in that level of detailed work and more so since “weaknesses” that weren’t visible before the relationship began will now be exposed and who likes having their inadequacies tossed into their face?

You can try to work things out; you can choose not to do the required work to effect change – or you can choose not to change at all – and just try to be happy with what you’re getting (and if you’re getting anything at all at this point)… or you can, as a whole lot of people have done over time, say,  “Fuck this – I’m gonna get what I need someplace else!” and, well, you know how that usually turns out.  None of this is different from what a bisexual in a relationship might have to deal with but with one exception:  If they choose, need, or want to cheat, they can do so with someone who is the same sex as they are instead of cheating in the “conventional” sense.  That our long-standing morality says that a man should never want the touch of another man or that a woman should never want the touch of another woman doesn’t change the fact that wanting this ‘different’ touch does happen and, no, not everyone is aware of this before getting into a relationship – some people do find out after the fact but this really isn’t the main point in this:  The main point is that some people like pussy and dick (and not necessarily in that order).

People who have never had the craving for the same sex really don’t understand how powerful an urge it can be and by this I mean they can’t understand it from a bisexual’s point of view because they’re not bisexual so this craving is quite foreign to them… but not so dissimilar from having that craving for some new pussy or some new cock if you’re straight or gay.  We know that there are people out there who just cannot be monogamous – it’s just beyond their abilities.  Most people are fine with monogamy… right up to the point where their needs are not being met and then some action has to be taken and, yep, if they’ve tried to work it out between them but they don’t want to break up and they still aren’t having their needs met, guess what might happen?

I can only reinforce the plain and simple fact that sexuality, such as it is, isn’t the alpha and omega of cheating and just because some bisexuals have cheated on their partners, it does not mean that all bisexuals are going to cheat.  Yep, I’ve seen some numbers that say that bisexuals are more likely to cheat than heterosexuals or homosexuals and I’ve wondered where they got those numbers from, just like I’ve wondered if this is being aimed at bisexuals and to draw attention away from the fact that heterosexuals and homosexuals are just as capable of cheating?

For us, if we cheat, it’s because we need something that our partner couldn’t possibly provide for us, i.e., if “Cynthia” needs pussy to complete her requirements for her overall happiness right along with cock, her man – “Evan” – doesn’t have a pussy so he’s totally incapable of giving her what she needs and, as such, automatically fails to take care of that need for her.  Of course, conventional thinking says that “Cynthia” shouldn’t want or have any other needs and that “Evan” would be well within his rights to hand “Cynthia” her head for having the nerve to want some pussy when the rule is she should be happy with just “Evan’s” dick.  There’s even a weird double standard at play here, like, if “Cynthia” were to cheat on “Evan” with her new girlfriend, “Brenda,” well, hmm, some would say that “Cynthia” didn’t cheat because there’s no other man involved and, besides, don’t girls just do this anyway so it’s really no big deal?  Ah, but if “Evan” were to go out and suck some guy’s dick or otherwise have sexual congress with another man, well, ain’t he the most rottenest bastard of a cheat imaginable?

But I greatly digress.  The bottom line is that cheating isn’t the sole purview of bisexuals; if someone has a reason to cheat – and they think they can get away with it – then they’re gonna do it.  They say bisexuals are greedy… but anyone who cheats is someone who wants more than what they’re getting in and from their relationship so how is it that a bisexual is greedy… but someone who isn’t bisexual can’t be just as “greedy?”

Some thoughts on this subject – again – and for whoever was searching for this…

 
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Posted by on 11 October 2014 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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