Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “What’s It Like?”

During yesterday’s visit to the bi guy forum, there was another instance of the topic that pops up a lot:  What is it like to (add an M2M thing here)?  When this topic comes up, it’s usually asking about sucking cock and swallowing or getting screwed by a guy and, this time, what it feels like to have him cum inside you and, specifically, if it was different from screwing a woman in the butt.  One of the first things I noticed as I perused the comments is that none of the respondents said a word about how unsafe doing it in the raw can be because it’s something that gets talked about a lot that mentioning it again is a buzz kill for such a topic – and that’s fine because if you take a question like this and your answer is along the lines of, “You should never do it without a condom!” you’re not answering the question and it’s one that a guy who hasn’t experienced sex with a man needs to have answered.

Because when you leave a guy to his own devices – he’s gotta figure this out for himself because no one is willing or able to answer his questions – he’s liable to incur even more risk since in my opinion, there’s nothing riskier than making an uninformed decision or making one based on faulty information.  I know a lot of guys will peek at gay porn – it provides great visuals – but overall isn’t very informative; you can see cocks being sucked, asses getting fucked, sperm flying around all over the place but none of that really tells you what it’s like to actually experience it.

One of the things that stood out to me in some of the comments was how some guys said that it’s different with a woman versus a man, spurring other thoughts about women being softer to the touch, men being more, uh, not soft to the touch and even being a bottom makes the experience different… none of which I felt answered the OP’s questions.  True enough:  You can ask someone what it’s like and what they’ll tell you will differ from guy to guy – but it can be either good or not-so-good information because there’s a lot of bias going on, like, guys who have been boned and creamed may not have liked the experience all that much and will tend to provide negative comments or, really, comments that may not be all that helpful.  You get a lot of input with both positives and negatives and, sure, this is some good information but if you really want to know what it feels like and if there’s really any difference in play between men and women where anal sex is concerned, no amount of information you can be told can replace girding your loins and finding out first hand.

Some guys actually did try to put what it’s like into words.  That initial pain of entry was mentioned as was how it can eventually fade away and that this is something one just has to get used to – which is true.  One guy said that if a guy were to cum in you, you’d not feel it because the rectum doesn’t have any nerve endings – and he was wrong about that because it does – not gonna get into all of that right now – but what is true is that you may or may not actually feel that nut hitting your insides and more so since there’s a lot more, um, intense sensations/stimulation that’ll override things, like feeling the dick going through its pumping action so even if you’re unable to feel the sperm flowing into you, you can bet whatever you care to that you’re not gonna mistake that pumping action for anything other than what it’s known for, even if the guy is wearing a condom.

The thing I felt the respondents missed was something kinda obvious:  While there are obvious difference in play re men and women and other stuff they felt was important, what they overlooked was the act itself – putting A into C and, as such, there’s no difference in play.  Like cock sucking, guys tend to focus on the differences between women doing it and men doing it… but not the act itself.  Things like technique and desire differ between men and women and can even differ with the same person and dependent upon their mood… but the act of sucking a dick isn’t different any more than the act of sliding a lubed-up dick into someone’s butt is different or, as I commented, “Sucking is sucking, fucking is fucking…”  The acts are the same no matter who’s doing it and the key word is “act,” not “who.”

Talking about any perceived differences, however, doesn’t really answer the question and to be honest, as proficient as I can be with words, even I can’t tell you exactly and precisely what it feels like.  It’s not like I don’t know because I do but there’s a lot of shit happening in that space between one’s ears that, for one, there are no words for and, for the other, is so complex that another part of your brain gathers it all together and simplifies it:  It either feels really good or it doesn’t… or, oddly, it feels good and bad at the same time.  Yeah, try explaining that one to someone!  Still, it’s kinda hard to be objective given the complexity of it all – you’re either gonna like getting boned in the butt or it’ll be the worst thing you’ve ever experienced so being subjective about it seems sensible… except the experience can be different every time and is based on a plethora of conditional things along the lines of what, where, why, when, who, and how and keeping in mind that even when you do this with the same person, no two experiences are gonna be exactly the same – it just doesn’t work like that even though when we have sex, we want to be consistent.  Even the moment of penetration isn’t as consistent as it appears to be but, uh, you’d have to be of a mind to really give a lot of thought to this and that’s hard to do when, um, there’s a hard, slick cock being pushed into your butt and working toward the expected explosion.

While guys with experience in this can share those experiences, there’s still only one way to find out what it’s gonna be like for you.  It can be a mind-blowing experience, a very uncomfortable one that will distract from experiencing any real pleasure or it can even leave a guy wondering why this is such a big deal to begin with – and that’s just the first time they experience it.  Often enough, that initial experience can be so… traumatic that a guy would rather cut off a foot than to experience it again; it can make them believe – and incorrectly so – that if it was bad that first time, it will always be bad.  Porn, once again, makes it look easy; it also makes it look like the greatest sexual thing two guys can do with and to each other… the reality usually says otherwise.  So what does it feel like to get boned and creamed?  Here goes…

It’s intense; the moment of entry can be anywhere from uncomfortable to painful depending on several factors like the size and shape of the cock going in, the amount of lubrication – and type of lubrication used, whether or not the cock is encased in a condom or not, the level of relaxation the receiver can bring to bear; the position in which one is being penetrated, the speed of penetration.  How long does it take for it to stop being uncomfortable/painful?  No set time in this and it really depends on the aforementioned conditions and one’s own ability to dismiss pain.  When does it start to feel good?  Um, that depends on how long it takes to get past being penetrated right along with how the guy inside you is actually fucking you, like, is he taking it easy or is he trying to pound you right through the bed and like he’s in a pussy… and what you think “feeling good” is gonna mean, which is hard to nail down because if this is your first time, all you might have to go on is how you think it should feel to you – and you could be surprised and not in a good way.  Feeling good being fucked is about getting past the physical part and depends on what’s going on in your head so it could feel good seconds after being penetrated or minutes… or not at all… and all of the above.

I did tell you there’s no easy way to describe this, didn’t I?

How does it feel when a guy cums in you?  Oh boy… really not easy to describe.  If your mind isn’t still paying attention to any discomfort you might feel, there’s that moment when he’s about to cum – ya might feel his cock getting ready to deliver the load, might feel his cock getting bigger and harder and if you’re paying attention, you just might even feel that first explosion of cum shooting into you, followed by that furious pumping action that can feel very weird and good at the same time and sometimes that depends on whether or not the guy stops fucking as he unloads or he keeps right on stroking in there – again, too many variables at play to provide a definitive answer and a lot of this also depends on how you’re feeling at the moment he cums in you (or into the condom).  You can feel good and “girly” – and that can be a good or bad thing – or you’re just really happy that it’s all over with depending on how the other guy screwed you so, at this point, you might not be thinking about how good getting creamed may have felt – you just want him to finish and get out of there… or you could be kinda pissed off that he’s finished.  At this point, whether it all really felt good or not depends on how your brain will eventually get around to processing everything that happened once he pulls out.  First timers, well, sorry guys, but there’s no way I could tell you how you’re gonna feel or how you should feel – it’s still something you have to determine for yourself but you’re either gonna say it felt good… or it didn’t.

What I can tell you is that once you’ve been screwed and creamed, if you don’t learn anything else, you’ll learn some of the same things that women have learned and the only “absolutes” here is that it’s either gonna be the greatest thing since sliced bread… or you’re gonna wish that you hadn’t done it.  Some guys have that first experience and the next question (or questions) they ask can be, “Why didn’t it feel as good as I thought it would?” or “When does it start feeling good?”  All I can say to this is that what you expect it to feel like may not match what you felt and it’ll maybe start feeling good when you manage to condition yourself to focus on the pleasure and not paying a lot of attention on how painful and/or uncomfortable it felt.  Such things take x-amount of time and a few adjustments in your thinking, one of which – and in my opinion – is making it a point to enjoy being screwed and not depend so much on the guy screwing you making it good for you, if that makes sense.  If you can’t condition yourself to enjoy the act of being screwed and potentially creamed, you’re not gonna enjoy it no matter what the other guy does – you have to want to enjoy it.

And in order to find out if you will or not, you really and seriously have to do it and, ideally, more than once if you can manage it; just because it wasn’t good the first time doesn’t mean that it’ll be bad the next time… or it might be.

Leave a comment

Posted by on 15 December 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , , , ,

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: This Shit Again?

A couple of days ago, Cityman shared a couple of links with me, one on the topic of bisexual visibility and the other on why bisexual men are still trying to prove that they exist.  Both linked articles – and I don’t have the URLs handy at this time – were, to me, just another version of the crap that’s been bandied about for the last couple of years, like, the visibility thing that talked more about celebrities fessing up to being bisexual and that one, by itself, was enough to set me off and rhetorically ask Cityman – the recipient of my rant – “Who gives a fuck if some celebrity comes out as being bisexual?”  Yeah, some have “come out” and just because they know the media will descend upon them like vultures on a fresh road kill… and they’re really as bisexual as my cat is really a dog.  Yeah, some celebrities are bisexual… but their visibility in this is way different from the “average person’s” because their notoriety will usually prevent someone from taking them to task for being so immoral in their sexual/emotional behaviors.  So pointing to the visibility of bisexual celebs does nothing for us not-so-famous folks and more so since celebrities have also long since been known to be more kinky than your average person.

Then there’s this – what purpose would greater visibility serve and why is this such a hot button issue or, I should say, still a hot button issue?  Bisexuals have been around since forever, have for the most part been totally invisible despite those historical occurrences where, again, some famous person was known to be bisexual; lacking this fame – and thanks to the raft of shit homosexuals had to endure before their eventual acceptance in society – many bisexuals would prefer to not be in the limelight because one of the greatest fears is being exposed as not being straight… and then mislabeled as really being gay… and who really wants to put up with this shit at every turn?  This particular article stated that bisexual women are more visible but bisexual men, eh, not so much, none of which was new or surprising because my own thoughts have been that women handle this much better than men do and our society does find the thought of two women doing each other highly erotic and, well, it’s just girls being girls.

I pointed out to Cityman that the sexuality issue is a social one, i.e., revamping our outmoded thinking about sex and sexuality to reflect the obvious new reality in play; I then asked him why he thought bisexuality needed to be turned into a political clusterfuck and along the same lines that went down with the acceptance of homosexuality because, in my opinion, not only does this not need to become a political circus, higher visibility doesn’t seem to serve a purpose and more so when visibility doesn’t equate to acceptance, like, I can see a snake but that doesn’t mean that I like snakes or want to handle one.  Maybe not the best analogy I can think of at the moment but it makes the point.  Even if a higher degree of visibility were to happen, there will still be many bisexuals who’d prefer to deal with their sexuality out of the “public eye,” as it were since many of us still feel that how we get our rocks off is a very private matter and not for general consumption.

Then I asked him this:  Who’s really pushing for more bisexual visibility?  A lot of straight folks tend to invoke NIMBY – Not In My Back Yard – meaning that they don’t give a shit about someone being bisexual… unless/until it does wind up in their yard.  That aspects of the LGBTQ community has been pitching a bitch about bisexuality not being real and bisexuals in general has generated a kind of visibility that I wouldn’t exactly describe as good publicity since the angst here only serves to keep a lot of stereotypical claptrap alive, you know, that being confused and greedy shit.  Yes, some homosexuals have zero issues with bisexuals so it cannot be said that all homosexuals have problems with bisexuals… but it still makes me wonder where this push is coming from along with what purpose it’s supposed to serve.

The second article was about bi guys still having to prove that they exist… and that is so patently ridiculous that I no longer roll my eyes over this one.  The article brought up the tired-assed notion that bisexual men are really gay men who are resisting the fact that they are really gay along with the notion that bisexuality is just a stopping point on the road to full homosexuality.  As a bisexual, I don’t need to prove to anyone that I exist because, duh, I obviously do.  Do I have a need to prove it?  Nope… but if you require proof, well, now, I know of a way that would make believers out of doubters, like something I told a guy who said I wasn’t bisexual but really gay:  Go home, get your woman, come back here and let’s all have sex… and then pay close attention to how I’d do her – and you – and not give it a second thought and without any hesitation at all.  As you might expect, um, not many doubters are willing to go along with this proof of concept – but whether someone believe me or not doesn’t really matter as long as I believe it – and I have no reason not to believe that I’m not what I know and say I am.

Attempts to prove this via science are, at least in my opinion, ambiguous; showing people visuals of heterosexual and homosexual behavior kinda/sorta doesn’t prove anything given that watching a sexual act of almost any kind can produce a result of arousal even in people who aren’t bisexual.  You can sit a bisexual down – and good luck getting enough of them together to construct a decent data source – and have them answer very pointed and extensive questionnaires to determine if they’re really bisexual and I don’t know about the researches using this approach but I’d pretty much invalidate much of the results because of one simple fact:  People lie or, to be a bit PC, uh, they’re not very likely to be as truthful and forthcoming as such a study requires.

Given the angst toward homosexual men – again – does any researcher really think or believe that a bisexual man would really admit to it and more so when nine times out of ten, the first thing someone will instantly assume is that homey is really gay and in great denial?  Among bisexual men, there are three main fears (and in no particular order):  Getting outed, catching something nasty, and being misidentified as being homosexual.  Indeed, I’ve found it either troubling or highly amusing that in the discussion about male bisexuals, um, most people forget or overlook the fact that we do also – and in fact – love the shit out of women and pussy because if we didn’t, er, we wouldn’t be bisexual, would we?  Yes, yes, yes – we can get all into that Kinsey scale thing and get into slicing, dicing, and nitpicking degrees of homosexual interest in bisexual men… but if this is taking place (and it does), doesn’t or wouldn’t that suggest that bisexuals – and bisexual men – do really exist?  Tack on the fact that a lot of bisexual men are not fond of the word “bisexual” and it’s both kinda sad and funny that they look like a duck, quack like a duck, won’t admit that they’re that duck.  Any time I see a guy say that he enjoys having sex with men but he’s not bisexual, well, shit… really dude?  So, true enough, there are bisexual men who are, at least in their own words, in a form of denial about being bisexual… doesn’t mean that they don’t exist in that sense.  Indeed, this particular behavior/response is a contradiction.  Many of us hold true that actions speak louder than words do… except when it comes to this, it seems; the contradiction comes when a guy exhibits the actions but insists that since he doesn’t think of himself as being bisexual, then he’s not really bisexual.

And if you think that sounds totally and completely insane, I tend to agree.  Yes, we’re not homosexuals… but we are bisexuals and more so when our actions clearly say this.  And if we are acting in this manner, duh, do we not exist?  Of course we do but this is kinda linked to the visibility issue and the belief that if you can’t “see” a bisexual, then they don’t exist… and that’s even crazier.  If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?  You’d be surprised at how many people will say that it doesn’t – or, if they didn’t hear or see it, it didn’t happen – when, in fact, it does make a noise.  This isn’t Schrödinger’s Cat, you know, kitty is neither dead or alive until observed by an outside observer but this seems to be how some folks are viewing male bisexuality:  Until you prove to us observers that you really do exist, you can’t exist.  Then again, what proof is required?  As mentioned, I know one way to prove it but it’s not exactly scientific, if ya know what I mean.

It is fun though…

Cityman shows me articles like this and I either find that these things are still making the rounds to be woefully sad or downright funny – depends on the mood I’m in at the time.  Cityman says that with visibility comes acceptance and I don’t necessarily agree with that even though it makes sense on paper.  Because what I know (and what he also knows) is that an absence of visibility and acceptance is not gonna stop guys from wanting to get all up close and personal with men and women.  The lack of these things have never stopped this from happening and even with them in place, it’s not gonna stop guys from doing this “under the cover of darkness,” so to speak.   Cityman says that something has to be done in order to strip away the paranoid bullshit surrounding male bisexuality and I agree… but visibility isn’t going to do that, nor is irrefutable proof of male bisexual existence.  What will do it is the wholesale acceptance of the fact – and whether you choose to believe it or not – that there are men who thrive on being intimate (and in any way you care to define this) with both males and females and not necessarily with any real sense of equality.  If/when we can stop making this a moral crime, then, sure, all bisexuals might breathe easier but as long as there are those who maintain that this is an unforgivable and immoral way to be, acceptance will be difficult to achieve.  He – Cityman – says that things have to change and I keep pointing out to him that not only has the change been in progress and way before either of us were born, the change is still in progress because we know even if many others don’t that there are more and more men (and even women) embracing bisexuality – but just because you don’t see it happening doesn’t mean that it isn’t happening and, yeah, even as you read this, someone somewhere in the world is discovering and embracing bisexuality at this moment and if you don’t or can’t believe that, well, that’s on you.

If we can accept that women can be (and are) bisexual, why can’t we accept the same about men?  Is our belief in religious dogma making us not accept this about men, you know, given all the prohibitions against us guys doing shit that, ultimately, is counterproductive to the edict of “go ye forth and multiply?”  Many say that this is the case and even I believe it to be the case because nothing else makes sense.  We take it on faith that religious dogma is the truth… but it really isn’t – it can’t be because it’s pretty damned obvious that not everyone on this big blue marble is heterosexual.  And if this isn’t visibility and proof, I’ll be damned if I know what really constitutes these things.  If you do, in fact, believe that there are no bisexuals, well, you’re wrong and now the question becomes one of why don’t you believe it?

On the issue of bisexuals being in denial about their “true” selves, I submit that we aren’t the ones in denial about this – everyone else is since it’s still being said that we don’t exist and we aren’t what we say we are.

Thus endeth the rant and I’m thinking this won’t be the last time yours truly will be ranting about this so until next time…


Posted by on 11 December 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , ,

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: What Are Friends For?

This is kinda about the bro job and not so much.  One of the things that reaches my attention are those guys who are itching to get into the game… and they can’t seem to find someone to play with.  A lot of guys’ first experience with this is with a friend and under the “boys will be boys” rule.  Guys who are looking for that first experience do often wonder which of their male friends would be amiable to doing some, ah, grown up experimenting with them while some won’t even consider a friend and probably because it’s too close to home and is deemed too risky – asking a friend for some dick can be a good way to lose that friend.

Then there’s the “rule” that friends don’t have sex with each other and, conversely, the saying that it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t and for guys looking for someone they can play with, this presents a rather frustrating problem… but enter the bro job, that thing that appears to be new but really isn’t but asks the question, “What would you do to help a friend?”  It goes without saying that the answer to this question depends on the level of friendship in play but it’s not really unheard of that under the right conditions, two male friends will help each other out in this way because, after all, what are friends for?

That and I won’t tell if you won’t…

I don’t know how many times I’ve been around guys I considered to be a friend and I’ve heard them say that getting their dick sucked would be a really good thing or expressing that need to fuck someone… but that’s not gonna happen, either at all or not when they need it to be done.  Sometimes, it’s just a guy saying what’s on his mind… and sometimes it isn’t; if you hear this enough, you can almost tell when the other guy is just expressing a desire to bust a nut or he’s kinda/sorta hinting that he might not be opposed to busting that nut with you and, yeah, some guys are just hilarious when it comes to that; I mean, it’s pretty damned obvious they want to ask you if you’d blow them or if they can blow you – and because you are friends and not merely an acquaintance but since they’re not sure how you’d respond to a direct question, oh, yeah, they can make themselves look pretty silly trying to find out without being direct.

When that friend starts asking me what I’d do if a guy asked me to suck his dick, it’s a safe bet he’s not asking me because someone asked him for that favor.  It’s one thing when that friend says, “Man, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now!” and something very different if he keeps saying it (or variations of it) and it’s all I can do not to start laughing and asking, “What are you trying to tell/ask me?”  I have had guys be a bit more direct by asking a hypothetical question, i.e., “If I wanted to suck your dick, what would you say?”  A bit more direct but since this is a “hypothetical” question, not the same as just saying, “I wanna blow you – you okay with that?”

Of course, answering that question depends on whether we’re that tight as friends but the point is that despite the admonishment that friends don’t have sex with friends, it often is better the devil you know than the one you don’t; more than anything else, it’s a trust issue and the question becomes one of who, if anyone, are you most likely to trust with (1) keeping this a secret and (2) doing what you’ve asked them to do?  Even if the answer winds up being, “Nah, man, I ain’t into that!” then it’s a matter of not letting it be known that the proposition was made in the first place.

Whether it’s via poorly constructed hints, a guy won’t “ask” for this without them having a good reason for asking.  Maybe he’s not getting laid as much as he needs to or maybe he’s in some kind of emotional distress over something that can also include being horribly horny and even spanking his monkey isn’t helping at all.  As his friend, you kinda have a choice:  You can either help him out or, in order to protect your own sensibilities, leave him hanging and suffering with whatever has put him in the position to be going through all of the funny stuff to ask you if you’d be willing to get him off in some way – usually manually or orally.  The recipient of this, um, inquiry, can find himself in a quandary and even questioning the extent of the friendship; are you really the kind of friend who’d do almost anything to help a friend that isn’t offing someone or doing something obviously illegal… or is risking their own reputation and sensibilities worth saying yes to the proposition?

It’s a tough decision but with the bro job gaining much visibility, there are some guys who see helping each other out in the way a sensible thing to do – he’s the devil you know.  Nope, it’s not seen as being gay or even bisexual (yeah, right, sure it isn’t) but it’s simply a couple of good bros doing something that neither feel is that big of a deal – if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours and, once more, I won’t tell if you won’t, okay?  I’ve seen some guys push this issue a little and along the lines of this particular line:  “If you really loved me, you’d do it!”  Now, this ain’t got shit to do with being in love so the question really is, “If you were really the friend you say you are, you’d help me out!”  There’s a valid point here, isn’t there, but now the response becomes based on whether or not you are, in fact, the good friend you’ve said you are… and some guys decide that, nope, our friendship ain’t that good – sorry, dude.

Would you help a friend who has this need… or would it suck to be them?

Leave a comment

Posted by on 7 December 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , , ,

A Question

Does anyone have any information on how one goes about getting paid to blog?  If ya know how to go about doing it, I hope you’d be wiling to share that with me… and thanks in advance!

1 Comment

Posted by on 4 December 2017 in Life, Living and Loving



Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “So Now…”

…that you’ve promised not to tell if they won’t, what’s next?  Well, that depends on whatever the oath of secrecy was invoked for, from something simple as “I’ll show you mine and you show me yours” to, um, things that are, ah, more involved up to and including touching, tasting, and inserting.

Growing up, the main – and probably only reason – to invoke the oath was to satisfy that curiosity about the sex thing and more so – and as I’ve said hundreds of times – when you were told that boys ain’t supposed to do that shit with each other… even if, historically, it’s just boys being boys and an almost instinctive response to that incredible rush of hormones that’ll hit us like the proverbial Mack truck.  It has nothing to do with the things that become important to us when we reach adulthood; nope, this is all about finding out why boys shouldn’t do it to/with other boys as well as why this is such a horrific thing to do.

Even as adults, we will invoke the oath – and not because someone is literally beat us until sitting down becomes an impossibility but because some people don’t want to understand why a guy surrounded by a plethora of pussy would want to play with another guy’s dick and they tend to make one’s life as miserable as possible for a major rules violation doing this.  Ah, but when younger…

It’s both scary as anything experienced to date and more exhilarating than waking up Christmas morning and finding more shit with your name on it than your young mind could comprehend.  Pants and underwear get pulled down and taken off and, yep, the other guy has some stuff between his legs that’s similar to what you have between your legs so now it’s about doing whatever invoking the oath entailed, from reaching out and touching it to putting it in your mouth… and if you’ve already done these things before – and chances are good that between the two of you, this isn’t the first time the oath has been invoked – it’s about climbing on top of each other and “doing the nasty” until it feels really good and strange… or something happens that seems to always make you feel like you’re about to die and all that yellow-white stuff makes an appearance.

Such things are about as wrong as anything can get – or so we were told, anyway, but when the oath has been invoked the participants know they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing even though, ahem, it really, really feels good to be doing such a bad thing.  If you’ve done it to girls (not an easy thing to do) you kinda innately understand that doing it to a boy isn’t all that different – that stick it in someplace and move up and down thing works on both, just like having someone put your thing in their mouth and sucking on it isn’t very different from when a girl does it (and good luck to you if you can get her to do that).  It’s that sex thing that grownups repeatedly tell us that we should not ever do until, one, we’re grown up enough to do and, two, only when we really care about or love someone – and, preferably, a girl.

But because we’ve invoked the oath and specifically for the reason to find out about this sex thing, one, we must obviously be old enough to do it even if we don’t truly understand what we’re doing and, two, well, dude, I like you and all that… and let’s leave it at that and do this again.  And we can do this again… because I won’t tell if you won’t is still in effect.  In those younger days – and especially if you grew up in the times that I did – the next worst thing than getting caught doing it to each other was finding out that you didn’t keep your promise to not tell anyone what you did with each other.  In the adult world, such a betrayal can have catastrophic consequences but in the younger areas of operation, at the least, you’ll lose a friend or, at the worst, get into a fight… or even worse, now you gotta find someone else to do this with and with the hope that, unlike that other snitch, the next guy you invoke the oath with won’t go running around telling everyone they come across that the two of you did something that you weren’t supposed to do, let alone know about.  Finding someone who won’t snitch might be difficult and you’ll most certainly wind up getting your head handed to you at every turn by your peers who can be quite ruthless and without mercy… then again, having that oath broken might also get you a lot of attention, too, and from other guys who have their own curiosity about why boys should never do it to boys and, really, is there such a thing as too much investigation into this?

Nah… not really.

In the adult world, such discretion is taken as a given and goes without saying although some guys who have much to lose if anyone else finds out, will point out that, um, it wouldn’t go well for them if word of what’s about to happen should get out to the wrong people.  It’s considered to be a great breach of etiquette to kiss and tell but, as mentioned yesterday, there are ways to do this without getting into specifics that might reveal the other guy’s identity and, besides, when you’ve done this, wow, it’s almost like you just gotta tell someone about it… provided there’s anyone you could tell, that is.  Along with “I won’t tell if you won’t,” we also invoke “Don’t ask, don’t tell” and the variant of even if you ask, I’m still not telling.  But just as in the younger iterations of this, once the oaths have been given and accepted, it’s all about doing whatever was negotiated for and, hopefully, not giving much thought to the shit storm that could possibly crop up if those wrong people find out that you just spent the last half-hour – or more than that – getting your rocks off with another guy.

Cityman said to me, “It would be easier on us if everyone would stop being prudes and just accept the fact that men having sex with other men is a natural thing to do.  If only we could be more open about it…”  And he’s right even though we continue to have this angst and in the face of the obvious fact that men have sex with other men whether they’re gay or bisexual.  But until we can get our heads out of our respective asses about this, invoking “I won’t tell if you won’t” remains a necessity.  It just wouldn’t go over well for a guy who’s respected in his community and by his peers to learn that one of his favorite things to do is to dress up in lingerie and spend some time on his knees sucking cock and being gleefully sodomized and inseminated, would it?  When you’re much younger, peer respect and establishing your own reputation, wow, I just cannot express how important that is so, nah, it’s not gonna help your rep if your peers find out that while you’re known to chase skirts to the ends of the earth, you’re not exactly opposed to swallowing a load of spunk, putting a load into some dude’s butt, or taking a load yourself.  It’s just not gonna look good for anyone else to discover that one of your favorite things to do with other guys is to get together with a bunch of them so they all can fuck you… and because that just thrills you to no end and part of that thrill is that you ain’t supposed to be doing that shit in the first place.

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies… and if you won’t tell anyone that I’d love it if we could get naked and suck each other’s dick until we both cum, I won’t tell anyone either…

Leave a comment

Posted by on 4 December 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , , ,

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “I Won’t Tell If You Won’t”

I was sitting here re-reading my scribbles on the bro job and something popped into my head about the moment a bro job is about to happen.  It’s something I’ve heard from other guys as well as saying it to confirm that what’s about to happen will be handled discretely.  Now, this phrase isn’t always about a prelude to sex but I’ve also heard it – and confirmed discretion – for guys who want to tell me without anyone else knowing that, um, they like dick in some way.  Sometimes a bisexual’s greatest fear is being outed or otherwise ratted on for a “rules violation” – thinking about crossing the line or being on the verge of doing just that.  No one really wants to be outed and more so if it’s not on their own terms… but, sure, guys who are perhaps minutes away from pulling the trigger with another guy just might ask this question or require you to say it as if taking an oath of silence, as it were.

Hmm, let’s see… you want to engage in oral sex with me and I don’t have anything against that… so it kinda makes sense that if I want to do this, not telling that it happened is warranted.  I can’t imagine someone asking, “If I wanted to suck your cock, you’re not gonna tell anyone are you?” and the reply is, “Man, I’m gonna tell everybody I know!”  Not saying that it’s not possible because, um, some dudes are bigger and worse gossips than women can be and nothing would make them happier than to get some drama going that’s gonna embarrass the shit out of someone.

And speaking of gossip, wow, I don’t know how many times the fellas have been hanging out and someone mentioned that this guy asked to have sex with him and he told him no fucking way (or so he says because, you know, we’ve been known to lie like rugs about that).  So much for “I won’t tell if you won’t” huh?  Some guys might get propositioned and, indeed, won’t mention it even if he turned down the proposition – this, too, can be embarrassing since people have a tendency to believe perception more than the actual truth so if “Larry” told someone that a guy offered him a blow job and he turned it down, the person he’s talking to will likely figure that “Larry” is lying and he let some dude give him some head… and probably returned the favor as well.

Growing up, this was very serious and damn near sacred; it was about trust issues among a bunch of guys who hadn’t yet learned what a trust issue was.  I don’t recall how many times I’ve heard a guy say that he wants to have sex with me but the thing he’s worried about isn’t getting caught – it’s whether or not something is gonna be said to others.  I’ve had guys blurt out, “I want you to do it to me!” and turn right around and say, “Forget I said that – you’re not gonna tell anybody I said that, are you?”  First, ya can’t “unhear” that… but telling someone?  I mean, sure, you’d be ratting them out but because it was said to you, uh, now ya might have others looking at you strangely even if you didn’t do anything.


With consideration to the bro job, “I won’t tell if you won’t” remains sacred and, really, it’s no one else’s business if straight guys “Bruce” and “Jake” found themselves in a situation where sucking each other’s cock was warranted, necessary, and even needed.  Does it really sound that far-fetched that a guy can get into a bro job moment and the only condition is not telling anyone else that it happened?  And, um, if the two guys keep their word and not tell anyone else that it happened, er, ah, doesn’t that kinda open up the possibility that it could happen again and especially if it was da bomb the first time?

Shit… I won’t tell if you won’t…

Leave a comment

Posted by on 3 December 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , , ,

This Time of the Year

The one thing that drives me crazy at this time of the year is finding my inboxes overflowing with Black Friday and Cyber Monday shit and from sources that I’ve not heard a damned thing from all year… until now.


Posted by on 27 November 2017 in Life, Living and Loving



Jenny's Swinger Party and Dating Advice 🎉

23 year old real estate agent & swinger 💋

Katya Evangeline

From Missionary to Sex Preacher and Loving It!

Domestic Discipline, Jenny style!

Unconventional journey to unimaginable fulfillment.


All the things that make me, well "me."


If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

SeXXy Julie

Sordid Sex Stories & Erotica of a Cougar

Temperature's Rising

It's getting hot in here...

A Question of Lust

"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Madeline Harper



Random thoughts from a random mind

Equal Anarchy

Equality, Gender, Feminism, Sexuality

Sensual Desires

Sensual Poetry


Writing about recovery.

The Watering Hole

Where everyone comes to quench their thirst for insight to life's challenging questions.

B0Y . LU5T

Coming to terms with being male, atheist, married, over 40, bisexual, kinky and blurring the lines of monogamy while living in a conservative "red state" .


Parts Of My Life

Date A Bisexual


The Wise Serpent


Fetishes, Gender Issues, Sexual Politics, Erotic Memoirs

a worried whimsy

bouncing between happy and anxious

ann st vincent

My journey through marriage, open marriage, divorce, being a Mom, sexual rebirth, online dating, failed relationships, and lots of sex

The Conquest Files

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde

More Is Merrier

Views on consensual non-monogamy

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

The Self-Actualized Life

Have a fulfilling life sexually and every other way!

Assentively Yours

Ramblings of a depressed mind and other nuances.

Larry Archer's World (

Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer


is there a path to a successful open marriage?


The silent inside of an anonymous Indian rebelling against society

The (Bi)te

The uninteresting world of a young bisexual girl


What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception


Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey


when and why size matters


I write when the choice is to die if I don't

My SEXuality

Why am I afraid to tell you who I'am?

Confessions of a Cheating Housewife

...because love just isn't enough ;)

Apparently I Don't Exist

The Many Adventures of a Bisexual Genderqueer