Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “It’s Your Fault, Bro!”

Way back in 1990, I got my first PC, an HP machine that sported the then-powerful i486 chipset, a whopping 2GB of memory, a built-in modem, and a slew of programs including the word processing program, WordPerfect. It was a time when the World Wide Web was just really being developed – but the Internet was there and the only search engines available were named Archie, Veronica, and Jughead. URLs, HTML, and the other stuff we take for granted today just didn’t really exist.

We’d just gotten away from “dumb terminals” and PCs were being installed in a hurry and classes on how to use WordPerfect were mandatory but while many struggled to use this new-fangled software, my being a Certified Word Processor came in very handy and I fell in love with WordPerfect.

Somewhere along the line, I discovered Usenet newsgroups as well as bulletin boards and, as such, came across a wealth of information that was only available by connecting the modem – and it’s blazing 9600 baud speed rate – listening to the warbling sound of being connected, and then diving into this unknown source of information that also included porn in the form of pictures… and stories being written, posted and shared.

I found myself reading some of those stories; some were good, some were just crappy attempts at writing erotica and I got it into my head that, hmm, I can write better than that… I think. So I started writing and posting to alt.binaries.stories and, as such, got an education on writing erotica both in constructive and not-so-helpful ways. One bit of constructive criticism I got from one of the more popular authors was to not write what everyone else was trying to write and the more realistic it was, the better it would be and I took this to heart and started writing about anything that wasn’t “normal” boy/girl stuff and learning how to write about sex as well as how difficult it really is because, as I was told, there are only so many ways you can put A into B and the trick, for me, was to be able to capture the emotions and thoughts of those moments.

Daunting and my wordsmithing abilities were taken to task but I stuck with it just the same and got to a point where people were writing comments and even sending me emails asking me if what I wrote had really happened – and when was I going to write something else?

One story I had written and posted was one about a guy who “allowed” himself to be seduced by his best friend and I set to the task of putting into words how my main character was being seduced, what he thought and felt about it; I made him be leery but more than a bit curious and, um, well, the action – when it finally happened – was so steamy that, admittedly, I was finding it difficult to type while my dick was straining against my pants and distracting me. I got it finished and posted and it met with “rave reviews;” my inbox was overflowing with comments and some folks were amazed at the nerve I showed in writing about a dirty little secret and shedding light on it, that being, guys have sex with each other and they’re not always homosexual.

One day, I was looking at my email and I saw one with the subject line, “It’s Your Fault, Bro” and, of course, it got my attention and when I read it, I had to read it more than once because, apparently, something I had been warned about happened: Someone actually did what I had written about! The more seasoned Usenet authors told me not to be surprised if someone took it upon themselves to do something I’d written and, at the time, I had thought, “Who would do that? It’s stated clearly that it’s a work of fiction, a figment of my imagination, and other such caveats!”

And some guy wrote me and told me about how he let his best friend seduce him, get him naked and, in the guy’s words, “turned me into a cock sucking whore.” I was floored, stunned, gobsmacked – pick a word and it doesn’t even come close to describing how I felt as I read what the guy was blaming me for. What I had unknowingly done was write about something that, for this guy, was actually happening and damned near in the exact way I wrote it. He said that he had known that his friend was… different but he never paid it much attention but as his friend began to openly flirt with him more and making more sexual innuendos, he admitted to becoming curious about what it would be like.

Then he said he read my story and decided to let his friend seduce him and in the same way I’d written – slowly but with purpose and without overly alarming the seductee too much. He wrote that it was exciting and scary at the same time… and as I read, I was still shaking my head and, yeah, I was very worried and was even thinking about how I was going to defend what I’d written.

He wrote that allowing himself to be seduced was very exciting and he was nervous the day they both wound up getting naked and experiencing, for the first time, what it was like to have a man sucking on his cock and making him cum. He admitted to being afraid but committed to it and he said that he understood why my character felt so much elation and concern when he found himself sucking his friend’s cock.

“You got me hooked on this shit, man! I can’t get enough of it! I’ve never wanted to do something more than I now want to suck every dick I see – it’s your fault, bro!”

I knew I had to respond to his email… I just didn’t know how to. Do I go on the defensive and state that I’m not responsible for anything he decided to do? And I did, eventually, respond by saying, “I don’t know what to say about this…” I mean, was this guy gonna try to sue me? Get it in his head to seek me out and get some kind of revenge upon me? Did I unknowingly and unintentionally fuck some guy’s life up? In my response to him – and other than what I had already said – I said that I’d be willing to talk with him about this even though I felt that I had no real responsibility for his actions.

I had hoped to never hear from him again… but I did and I was amazed at how he said that by doing what I had written, it had changed his life and in some very good ways. He had revealed that by allowing himself to be seduced, he was able to admit to something about himself that he had been aware of but had refused to accept and that his friend was his friend because he could see himself in this guy but, at the time, didn’t understand why they had immediately become such good friends.

I was relieved – and that’s putting it mildly. The guy kept writing me and telling me how things were between him and his friend since the seduction and that they’d went on to having anal sex with each other. He made it a point to remind me that they both had women in their lives but he felt that both of their lives were made better… and all because of him reading a figment of my imagination.

This whole thing actually made me stop writing for a short period of time; I had no idea or, really, gave much thought to the notion that someone could read my erotic fiction and think, “Yeah – this is what I wanna do!” To me, this was some very serious shit with very serious implications – did I want to know that someone tried to do what I might write and, again, did I want to bear the burden and maybe even guilt if someone did this and they got all fucked up behind it?

It took me a while to not think like this but it made me rewrite my “warnings” to say that I wasn’t going to be responsible for anything someone else would do so if you did it, that’s on you.

The last time we wrote to each other, I had said that his story would make for a good story all by itself and he agreed that it would. About two or three weeks later, I was browsing through the Usenet stories and, how about that? I saw that he had written and posted about his experience and, yeah, he even credited me for giving him the inspiration to do something he now knew he was meant to do.

As for my writing, I went on to write a major book that wound up being electronically published in the UK as well as quite a few stories that found their way in those “true confessions” types of “magazines” that were popular – like Penthouse Letters (anyone remember those) but more… vivid. I keep telling myself that I really need to take a good look at everything I’ve written and somehow turn it all into one hell of a compendium of stories that can be in one place. I just don’t know how I could get it published and after reading about Larry’s experiences with Amazon, whew, if he thinks what he writes can put him at odds with Amazon’s censors, the stuff I’ve written about would most certainly give those censors heart attacks.

I actually go back and re-read what I’ve written… and some of it, I think, needs some reworking – it reads to me as being kinda corny and I’ve asked myself, “What were you thinking about when you wrote this crap?” but, yeah, sometimes, I’ll re-read something and think, “Wow – did I write this? Holy shit!” I remember one of those Usenet authors telling me that if I wrote something, then read it, and found myself getting aroused by it, I did it correctly. Indeed, I’d find myself being both thrilled and somewhat embarrassed by the many people who’d write to me and tell me how much time they spent masturbating to my writings and, of course, the many people who’d write and ask me, “Did this really happen?”

I would neither confirm nor deny that it really happened but I was told by many writers that if a reader couldn’t tell the difference, then I did it right.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Schism Widens

The other day and while perusing items with the “bisexuality” tag, I came across one written by a woman who, in her words, picked up on the cues on how to spot a bisexual man so he can be avoided at all costs. I read what she wrote… and I started laughing because she’s so far off-base with her cues and more so when I, as a bisexual man, don’t come close to any of them.

Neither do a lot of other bi guys. One of the things about biphobia has been warning women who are on the hunt for a man to stay away from “those down-low brothers” because they’ll just do you wrong and give you all kinds of nasty shit that you don’t want to deal with. The bad news is that there are bi guys who do fit that description… but that same description also applies to many straight men as well.

I don’t know what makes her think she can look at a guy and tell whether he’s bisexual or not; maybe she’s run into some dudes who have presented the cues she mentioned, like they’ve never been married and/or they don’t have any children even though the guy may be in his 50s.

Really? Being serious about two or more women in their life means they’re bi? Say what?

Okay… I get it and it’s yet another one of those perception versus the truth things I tend to go on about at times. There’s been a big enough wedge driven between men and women over our existence as a species… and male bisexuality is being used to drive that wedge even deeper and one, if they cared to, should wonder why this makes any sense.

I have, in my life to date, heard just about every bad thing that can be said about bisexual men and the sad part about this is that some of that stuff is true… but does it mean that all bisexual men are bad guys? Yeah, it does and in the minds of many and some of those minds are female.

I find it disturbing that biphobia has found a way to drive that wedge deeper between men and women – but I’m not surprised by it. A lot of women are scared shitless to discover that the guy they’re in love with is bisexual and now every bad case scenario they can think of just now gonna be true when, um, it might not ever be true.

And all because somewhere along the line, some bi guy fucked everything up for all bi men. It is to note, however, that there are still a whole lot of people who firmly believe that bisexual women are the holy grail – but that double standard has been with us for a damned long time, hasn’t it? While there are those who very much dislike bisexual women – and some of the bi gal haters are lesbian – the “main reason” is because we have this notion of what it means to be male or female and how this is all supposed to work when the truth is it has never really worked like that and the proof is that we’re still, as a whole, bitching a bitch about how much reality is doing to poke holes in that which is supposed to be.

At first, I wasn’t going to comment on that woman’s blog… but I did because, um, someone has to let her – and other women know – that what they believe ain’t the whole truth of things. The thing is that once someone gets it into their head that a bi guy is the worst creature ever born, getting them to change their viewpoint is damned near impossible.

I even pointed out something to her, that being, chances are good that a bi guy has more in common with women than a straight guy does given how a lot of us find out some of the same things women do about men… and, yeah, a lot of the things women can’t stand about men. Do women see this? Not so much; all they see is a guy who “isn’t going to be all about them” and in whatever way that means and the perception that bi guys are more about guys than gals.

And some are… and way too many are still more about women than they are about men. Indeed, there are bi guys who don’t even like other guys in the same way they’re crazy about those very insane women. Yes – they like the sex… and provided they’re even having any of it but many bi guys are of a mind that when it comes to love and that deeper sense of intimacy, only a woman will fit that bill to their satisfaction.

The woman who authored the post said something about bi guys only interacting with other people via social media because it hides the truth of what they really are… and my eyes rolled so hard they filed a complaint against me. One thing one learns about social media is that what you see might not be real and it stands to reason that there are some folks who use social media just to fuck with other people… because it’s their idea of fun and they have nothing better to do with their time.

Doesn’t mean that a guy who is deep into social media is bisexual… but she seems to think this is an indicator. I pointed out to her that not only have I been bisexual damned near all of my life, I’ve made it my mission in life to understand male bisexuality… and even I can’t tell a bi guy from a straight one. Indeed, one of the many complaints I read about on the forum is the utter inability to figure out if a guy is bi or not.

She wrote that it doesn’t make sense for a man not to be honest about what he is and I pointed out to her that the reason why a lot of men aren’t being honest about it is her reaction to bisexual men; it kinda doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to be honest about it with someone who will, upon hearing this, will shred you like lettuce and throw you away like you’re garbage… because they believe that you are just that.

Garbage. Unmanly. Incapable of tending to a woman’s needs and all that. Only being totally focused on her and nothing else. She, like so many women and people in general, thinks that bisexual means homosexual even though the majority of bisexual men are still more into women than they are guys.

She doesn’t know or isn’t aware of the fact that there are loads of bisexual men who are happily involved with women and that they’ve put their desire for men on the shelf so they can be with her and in every way that means. She doesn’t know or isn’t aware of the fact that there are a lot of married (or otherwise involved) bi guys who are horribly frustrated because they just will not cheat on their woman to get the dick they crave.

Now, bi guys today aren’t the same as they were when I was growing up. While a lot of guys grew up having to hide/suppress their bisexuality, a lot of men today are deciding not to hide or suppress it because they understand, if no one else cares to, how much doing this really fucks them up both mentally and physically… but because women have such a hatred for us, nope, not really of a mind to let girlfriend know about this.

And the fucked up part is still that thing where we, as men, are expected, demanded and required to accept women as-is and if you can’t, you’re dismissed… but to ask a woman to accept that a guy is bisexual – not gay, mind you – is serious out of the question and we’re some kind of idiots to expect women to treat us in the same as-is way that they demand that we do.

What she doesn’t know or might not be aware of is that there are a lot of women who are more comfortable with a bi guy than a straight one; I’ve seen some stuff written where some women are saying that a bi guy is the best kind of guy to be partnered with because the bi guy is more likely to be more open-minded, understanding, and easygoing about a lot of things. Bi guys aren’t likely to get all into that “Me Tarzan, you Jane” shit that women can’t stand about us in the majority of times.

Like I said to her in my comment, I’m not saying she’s wrong to think the way she does but she is misinformed – eh, she might not like that I said that but I don’t PC very well. I know some… shit that she doesn’t and I even know why she’s thinking the way she does; I know that she thinks she’s developed her school of thought all on her own… and she didn’t; her mindset really isn’t her own but a continuation of a prejudice we as a species has about anyone who isn’t exactly like us or doesn’t conform to the way things are supposed to be.

It’s not her fault, to be honest – a lot of women are just like her and sometimes without really understanding why they are. It’s easier to believe all of the bad shit being thrown around than it is to look at – and accept – the truth; it’s easier to lump all bi guys into one really messy pile of stinky shit than it is to look at the positives that do exist. I’ve heard it said that a lot of women are and feel threatened by bisexual men because their focus “isn’t totally on them” and some see us as competition for a man’s affection… and I’m of a mind that if we’re competing with women about anything, uh, um, it’s getting some dick to play with more than anything else but, sure, I can see how people confuse us with gay men.

What she doesn’t know or isn’t aware of is that there are gay men who like women a lot more than they’re willing to admit to and I mean not in a “we’re all just girls” kind of way – some gay men like pussy, too. They wouldn’t come out and say that they’re bisexual but, yeah, if they’re occasionally packing some woman’s stuff, they are more gay than bi as a matter of course…

But it’s always about perception, isn’t it? It’s the same thing that makes a guy suck a dick (or two or ten) and swear on a stack of holy items that he’s still straight. You know what I say: If this sounds insane to you, it’s because it really is. We see the world in the way we want to because it’s not easy to see it as it really is so is it really all that unusual for a straight woman to see men only in the way they want to see them?

No, it isn’t… but the truth is no one is really the way we want them to be and this woman, along with so many others, have reason not to like bisexual men because they’re not supposed to but they’re faced with a problem, that being, how does one identity a bi guy from a straight guy and more so when the majority of bi guys are more straight in their behaviors than they are gay?

If you wanna know, ask him and with the understanding that he’s probably not going to tell you because who likes getting tarred and feathered for being who and what they need to be in order to be okay with themselves? Most guys know – and because history tells us – that if we told the woman we love that we like guys, too, it’s game over and we’d prefer that the game doesn’t end, if it’s all the same to you. Sure, we like dick… but women do as well but instead of seeing this as a common ground, it becomes a bigger wedge between us. Just because a guy likes dick doesn’t mean that he’s not man enough to… be a man and in the sense that men are supposed to always be.

But the perception is this can’t be true… can it? Truth is a lot of bi guys are all male in everything they do… except, um, pounding the pussy ain’t the only sexual thing they enjoy.

My protege says that relationships between men and women would be so much better if women can accept and understand that we like dick like they do but we are still very much about them and in all their insane glory… because it makes sense to be crazy about those crazy women.

What this school of thought kinda suggests that if you’re bi and just being who you want to be, you’re about as wrong as anything can be – you’re supposed to be what other people want you to me or, “How dare you be yourself!”

We just stubbornly believe that being straight and involved with a bisexual is a bad thing… because we believe that it is and the truth is still very different… and summarily ignored. Again, we’d rather believe the hype more than anything else.

And now that wedge between men and women is being driven deeper and this is a very sad state of affairs and mostly because we’re made to believe that because of some bad apples, all bi guys are the most horrible creatures ever born. And that’s because we’re more about the way things are supposed to be than we are about the way things can be. There are both men and women who very much believe in the fairy tale of how things are supposed to be and, yes, it is a fairy tale and it doesn’t take much to see why it is. It’s an ideal kind of thing and one that we were told is the only way to be…

And that was never the truth of things. Never. Yet it’s still easier to believe the fairy tale than it is to accept the truth: This ain’t some pie in the sky, feel-good shit: This is real life shit. People are bisexual and bisexual people do get involved with people because they love them, feel great affection and desire for them but, yeah, when it comes to things like sex, the way it’s supposed to be ain’t the way it really is – it’s never been that way but we do keep believing that it’s not supposed to be.

And until we, collectively, can get our heads around this fact of life shit, there will be women like the one I’ve been writing about who will continue to believe that bi guys are the worst human beings ever born – because that’s exactly the way she’s supposed to be thinking and because she was made to think this way.

Not all bi guys are angels and all storybook perfect… but who among us really are? Some bi guys are assholes… and so are a lot of straight guys… and even gay guys. She doesn’t know this or she isn’t as aware of this as she should be but, yeah, sure, isn’t it easier for her to “hate” on bi guys and because she’s supposed to and more so when the guy who is more likely to fuck up her whole life is, in fact, straight and rabidly so?

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Reasons

One of the motivations to write yesterday’s scribble about D/s and the potential for bisexual activity is, forever and ever, people think more about what bisexuals might do and not pay much attention to why they do the things they do.

Humans have always had a very broad sexual palette given how inventive and creative we can be in the pursuit of sex. For the longest time, there wasn’t much in the way of visibility other than rumor and innuendo but, again, thanks to the Internet, we’re seriously discovering how… kinky we are in our approaches to sex and how sexuality plays into everything.

Discovering one’s bisexuality isn’t always one of those “this is how I’ve always felt” kind of things and you can’t always “blame” it on raging hormones, youthful experimentation, stuff like that. You feel however you feel about it but one usually needs a “reason” to dip their toes into the waters – one can ponder their feelings forever and a dark day but it takes some thought to decide that, okay, I wanna do this and then listing, in their minds, the reasons why it’s either a good idea or potentially a not so good one.

Yep… so much for choice not being a part of the process. Which led me to wonder, um, what if you “didn’t” have a choice and as some aspects of the D/s lifestyle may present? Rules, contracts, and safe words are stock and trade in this but I’ve been wondering about how flexible these things are, like, if some stuff had to or wanted to be changed, how “easy” is it to effect change after all the “paperwork” has been done and is in effect.

Or – and using Collaredmichael as an example – if his Queen bade him to do something with a guy – but there wasn’t a provision covering this in their agreements – well, how does that work and would his sensibilities be taken into consideration? Again, I’m a bit miffed that I don’t know much about this and more so when some aspects of D/s incorporates bisexual behaviors.

There’s some catching up and cramming I probably need to do to understand things in this context. NaughtyNora was kind enough to explain some of the rules she has in place, like the “no-lending rule.” But is that rule locked deeply in the densest material known to man or could it be revised for reason?

I don’t know. What I do know about how some people behave when they have rules in place to cover something that isn’t exactly the way they should be doing things, many tend to make said rules hard-set and inviolate; they can’t be changed even when it may become apparent that a change is required. Non-negotiable, no recourse, no adding new elements; and while this way of doing things can work, eh, it usually causes more problems than anything else because, I think and guess, no one thinks about or anticipates the fact that people change their minds about stuff.

Maybe, in the beginning, something was off the table because at that time, there wasn’t a need or desire for it… but somewhere down the road, now there is… but because they locked the rules down in the beginning, effecting change just doesn’t happen.

With the “rise” of submissive bottom bisexual men, this puts a kink in the dynamic that I never had reason to think about – until now. It’s not, I think, “true D/s” but just them wanting to be submissive in this, to do another man’s biding or, as that guy famously said, “Use me like the bitch I am!” because, um, it just works for them.

And their reasons are legion, which is to be expected since not all bisexual men are bisexual for the exact same reason or even the same purpose. So when a guy in a D/s situation is “commanded” by his Queen to suck that dick, does he comply… or does he look at her and say, “We never talked about that!” Hell… would he be punished for “talking back” to her and being disobedient?

I’m still running it around in my head how a guy who has never in his life entertained doing such a thing might react when “commanded” to do just that and, as far as he maybe concerned, out of the clear blue sky. My first thoughts are imagining a guy being presented with this out of left field asking, “Wait… what?” and maybe that’s because if I weren’t already bisexual, that’s probably exactly the first thing out of my mouth, followed by, “Where did that come from?”

It is clear to me that even in the world of D/s, there are points that one just will not go beyond and safe words exist to call an instant halt if that line is being crossed. So, hmm, how does something like this get negotiated when the “s” isn’t of a same-sex kind of mind? On the surface and what can be read about this D/s thing, you get the impression that the “D” says, “Jump!” and the “s” doesn’t even ask, “How high?” – they just jump and then hope they don’t get punished for not jumping high enough.

It stands to reason that this really doesn’t work like that… or maybe for some, it does… and I’m still miffed that I don’t know either way but I’m a fast learner… I just have a lot to learn and more so since it would be just my luck someone in a D/s situation is going to find themselves facing such a situation and ask me how does that work and more so when there’s no personal interest in it by whomever is the “s” in the arrangement.

I very much do not like saying, “I don’t know…” – but I am smart enough to ask the people who just might know the answer to this and, as such, I’m inviting any D/s folks to chime in with their thoughts and feelings along with any processes in place where effecting change is concerned.

Why go through all of this? Again, it’s not so much what people do in this – it’s why they do it that needs to be better understood and I, for one, want to be able to understand it.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Something He Said

Collaredmichael, in his comments to yesterday’s scribble, said, “We fantasize about my Queen making me suck someone’s dick. She also wants to see me taken anally. More than likely it will never happen but we do fantasize about it regularly. “

That had me thinking about some guys I know of who, as a part of their D/s thing, are “made” to suck dick and even get boned. One iconic story I don’t think I’ll ever forget is about a swinging couple who are very much into D/s as well and his confession that when they play with their favored couples, he sucks a lot of dick and gets fucked a lot… but insisted he wasn’t bisexual.

Even then, it had me wondering about the whole D/s scene and in terms of if one does this, are they just following and obeying orders given by the Dom but they have no real interest or desire for this or, by obeying/following orders, they now have a chance to express themselves in a way that, “normally,” they may not have been able to?

Yet another one of those “damned if I know” things although, at a high level, I can’t honestly get my head around “making” someone do something that they might not really want to do… but I also think that if the Dom looks at er man and says, “Suck that dick!” well, hmm, maybe the sub never had reason to see this one coming – and literally. When the guy I just told you about shared his story, it made me realize how much I didn’t know about this D/s thing and in the many forms it apparently exists in so, yeah, I was asking myself, “Why in the world would he do something that he says he wasn’t really interested in?”

I asked him and he simply said, “Because my wife said so – it’s part of the thing we’re into.” I read his answer and my brain started bouncing around inside my skull – then bounced even harder when he insisted, again, that he wasn’t bisexual and more so when he wasn’t interested in being sucked or doing any fucking.

He was just following orders, as it were, and orders he obviously didn’t have a problem with and found quite enjoyable. I had asked him, “But what if you don’t want to do that?”

He responded, “That can’t happen; if she commands it, I must obey or be punished for it.” Um, okay, I thought that made sense because who wants to be punished for being disobedient? Then I learned that some people like being punished for anything that is deemed to be disobedience or noncompliance to the established rules.

It makes me wonder if a guy is the sub and his Dom commands him to suck dick, what’s going on in his head and more so if he’s never entertained the thought and is otherwise not of a mind to do that? Is his first thought, “Oh, hell, no – I ain’t feeling that!” or is it, “I hear and obey! Now, where’s that dick you want me to suck?”

Again, I don’t know and maybe some of our resident D/s aficionados can help me out with this one. Why is this of any real import? Well, I’m glad you asked!

On the forum, there are a lot of submissive bottoms and a few who are into cuckolding (or want to be) but one key thing with these guys is that they want to suck dick and/or be fucked – and being the sub in (I guess) their idea of a D/s atmosphere is just what the doctor ordered. One guy gleefully regales us with being “ordered” to suck his wife’s lover clean after he’s had his way with her or to “bend over and spread his cheeks” because that’s what she requires of him but he’s always been leaning in this direction anyway so “following orders” just facilitates things for him in this.

That’s fine – whatever makes boats float. It makes me wonder if, when starting a D/s thing, this particular thing is talked about when it’s time to sit and lay down the rules. If it isn’t, do the rules allow for, um, modification and based on whatever happens to go through the Dom’s mind at any given moment and the key thing is disobedience isn’t going to be tolerated? Does it help if the sub is kinda leaning in this direction already so if the order ever appears, nah, it’s not gonna be a problem? Or if not leaning, does it present a problem that needs to be sorted out… or really a matter of being obedient and no matter what’s being asked of you?

Where’s DDJennifer when I need her? Help! I’m even gonna ask Collaredmichael how this works in his situation since I do know that every D/s arrangement is different. When I replied to his comment, I forgot to ask him, “Well, what if your Queen wants that to happen?” and, yes, I am now officially asking you this question along with what would go through her mind about wanting you to experience this… and what would be your thoughts if the word was ever given?

I know there are guys who want to be “made” to suck dick because it satisfies their need to be submissive, not that they wouldn’t do it without being “ordered” to do it in that sense – but that might not be in what could be considered a “true D/s” kind of thing… but maybe it is… and if so, it’s an aspect of this M2M thing I know I need a better understanding of where a guy/gal who is normally straight just might find themself doing, uh, un-straight things because they’ve agreed to obey lest they be punished for disobeying the will of their Dom.

Are there lines in this that cannot ever be crossed? If someone has never had a same-sex experience – but is commanded to engage in this fashion, is that a problem? Should it be? Or it just is what it is?

I very much dislike not knowing something…

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: An Odd Complaint

A guy on the forum wrote a post asking why a lot of the forum conversations are about cock sucking and not the other things connected with male bisexuality and he listed those other things. A couple of things about this, if I may?

There are a gazillion topics on the forum that have nothing to do with sucking dick and all it takes to see them is to click a provided link that will show you every post that has been written and, the last time I looked, it’s over ten screen-pages of stuff so if you wanted to see something that’s not cock sucking, well, click the link and I hope you have the time and patience to look through all of the topics. Or, as someone suggested, start a topic of your own that you wanna talk about that isn’t cock sucking.

Duh.

The second thing, and something I’ve scribbled about (and a lot) is that sucking dick is the #1 thing guys are interested in, whether they’re old pros at it or they’re sitting on the bench waiting for their chance to join the ranks of male cock suckers. Hell, the forbidden nature of it alone is enough to spark great interest and conversation; we don’t think all that badly about women who suck dick but guys who do it are just… weird, freaky, perverted or your favorite adjective of choice and dependent upon how you care to look at this.

I’ve said that one of the worst things about being bisexual is not having someone you can talk to about it so the forum serves a purpose in that it’s an outlet for those men who are unafraid to say what’s on their mind about being bisexual to do just that, sharing their thoughts and experiences with other men who are, by and large, like-minded. The other purpose it serves is for those guys I mentioned who are riding the pine (and for whatever reason they are); they get to be privy to what it’s like for guys to suck dick from how they got started to their thoughts, feelings, and even preferences when it comes to this very erotic thing to do.

So while there are, again, a gazillion other topics about things M2M – and a lot of topics don’t have anything to do with sex in any form, yeah, sure – who doesn’t like reading about how many guys want to suck dick and how many have and more so when giving/getting a blow job is, in my opinion, the prime entry point into the world of M2M sex?

We are, by and large, totally and utterly fascinated with cock sucking and for many of us, it’s a very close second to eating pussy. We know that it’s forbidden between us just like we know that guys do suck each other silly. I don’t know of too many guys who haven’t asked a woman what it’s like to suck dick just as there are a lot of guys who’ve asked a woman why they won’t, why they don’t like it, stuff like that. Whether they get an answer that makes sense to them is a horse of a different color; it’s easier to speak on what one doesn’t like about it than it is to verbalize (or write down) what thrills the living daylights out of someone who does like it.

Which, um, lends itself to a “simple” answer: If you wanna know what it’s like to suck a dick, go suck a dick because even asking other men who do it isn’t really going to answer your question – but you can sure as hell get a good picture of why so many men are enthralled over doing it as much as they are about having it done.

Yep… we talk about it a lot and in a lot of ways and detail. Most certainly, there are other things we do talk about, from anal sex to kissing and cuddling, romantic interests and the like… but sucking dick remains the #1 topic of discussion and I thought it a bit humorous to see someone actually “complaining” about how much we talk about it and in every conceivable way we can and sometimes, um, insanely so. We do, in fact, learn a lot about it from each other and, more often than not, I’m totally fascinated to see how much a lot of guys don’t know about it – but that’s why the forum exists because, again, if nothing else, we learn a lot of stuff about that thing that men aren’t supposed to do to, with, and for each other.

So while we talk about the other forms of sexual intimacy, short of actual intercourse, there is nothing more intimate than taking another man’s dick in your mouth and enticing him to spill his seed – except, again, eating pussy in the minds of many. True enough, at some point, it can be a chore and in certain situations, it can become an obligatory kind of thing and even what I’d call an expectation; if you don’t, at the very least, suck dick, that’s a major deal breaker. There are a lot of guys who won’t suck dick – usually guys who are tops and of a mind that since they’re “the man” in this situation, it’s not their job to suck dick – that’s the bottom’s job… but, sure enough, there are tops who do suck dick… because it’s such a fun thing to do whether you finish the job or not.

As I’ve written so many times, it’s the “easiest” thing to do. There are no prerequisites other than making sure your dick is clean and healthy – and by clean I mean soap and water clean. It can be done damned near anywhere and generally doesn’t take a whole lot of time to do. And while there are those who are of a mind that some cock sucking is merely a prelude to intercourse (or it isn’t really sex), when intercourse ain’t an option or not your thing to do, what’s left is giving head as the sexual act to be done.

What got me laughing at the guy who was “complaining” about this “trend” is that, on another topic about sucking dick, um, he had a lot of good things to say about it which, really, is to be expected if you’re a fan. Still, it also makes sense that the fellas are gonna talk about the one thing they like more than anything else we can do, doesn’t it?

And if you don’t wanna talk about sucking dick, there are other things that you can talk about – all you gotta do is start a new post and write about that which is on your mind that ain’t sucking dick – it’s not rocket science and, um, didn’t he start a new topic to “complain” about what we’re not “talking to death?” Yeah, he did… and how easy was that?

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Romance – Yea or Nay?

Saw a comment on the forum thread about older guys and bisexuality and the comment was about the romantic aspects and that little voice in my head said, “Yeah… a lot of bi guys are leaning more toward sex with romance and “getting away” from sex without it… but why?”

Yeah… y’all know me by now and if you don’t, hold my coffee.

We’ve known all along that sex and romance goes hand in hand and that, in this context, having sex with someone you care about is not only a physical expression of our feelings for them but makes the sex better, meaningful, and with substance. We’ve also known, all along, that sex “for the sake of it,” is just as good, has meaning, and isn’t without substance but because we’ve been told to not have sex with someone unless we have feeling for them, well, it’s a “habit” that we’ve not been able to really break – and not that it should be broken.

Some bi guys don’t care for the romantic aspects and for what I think are two reasons. One is being romantically involved with another guy is just too weird and the other is that a lot of guys are very much romantically involved with a woman or, as I heard a guy say a long time ago now, “Romance? That’s what women are for but when I want a guy, I just want to have sex with him!”

At the end of any day, you do the thing that works best for your sensibilities but this topic, among bi guys, is rather divisive and in other topics I’ve read, the debate on whether or not romance is essential can get rather heated. One camp says that if there are no other feelings involved other than lust, nothing can ever happen while the other camp says that anything other than lust just overly complicates an already complicated situation and more so when a guy is already romantically involved with someone and, oddly, with or without sex.

Decades ago, a woman I was talking to about being bi asked, “How can you have sex with a guy you don’t have any feelings for?” – and it was a good question given how we look at this. It was the first time I said, “I don’t have to have ‘feelings’ for him – I just gotta like him enough to want to have sex with him.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” she said.

“Well, I’m a guy… and it makes sense and probably more so since I happen to love women and having those deeper feelings for them,” I had said.

“So, it’s really all about the sex?” she asked.

“No, not always because I do sometimes feel more for a guy than just an urge to get into his pants,” I said. “But the one thing doesn’t have anything t do with the other, does it?”

She said it did but, sure, she’s a woman and women – and I’ll say generally speaking – aren’t fans of having sex without that emotional connection being in place. Men have gotten a bad rap over the ages because for many of us, the two things are not mutually inclusive and we’re dogs because we can have sex just because we want/need to have sex – but if deeper feelings come into play, okay.

A while ago, I read something I thought was rather pointed: Women look for a relationship and find sex while men look for sex and find a relationship… and I kinda kicked myself because I never thought about it like that even though, as a man, I’d been quite true to this premise – it was a bit of a wakeup call and one I still feel I should have gotten way before I actually did – but that’s me.

Also a while ago, I scribbled about a new “trend” in the M2M dynamic: Bi guys were now looking for a relationship first and I had said, “Hmm… that’s interesting!” While having a same-sex relationship was never really off the table for bi guys – it was something you just didn’t hear a whole lot about – I got to thinking about this shift, digging through a lot of stuff to get to the root of things (and as I’m wont to do) and, okay, I think I see what’s going on here and, in and of itself, actually isn’t a bad thing…

Unless you ask a guy who has zero interest in being romantically involved with another man what he thinks about that. A lot of guy avoid that deep emotional connection like the worst plague in human history but, yeah, they want the dick; they want the intimacy of sex and sex in the “forbidden mode” and, almost predictably, once they begin to realize that their feelings for a guy is more than just sexual, they’re in the wind and as fast as they can manage to do so.

Fact: The only morally “legal” sex is relationship sex. Fact: Fornication – that’s sex without a relationship being in place before the fact – is a sin and one punishable by spending eternity in hell or some other form of purgatory.

Fact: We need to have sex in order for our minds and bodies to work optimally and, also a fact, this need is stronger in men than in women. One theory I read about a few years ago said we behave the way we do about sex because sperm is plentiful but eggs aren’t so women have to be picky about who gets access to their eggs while men don’t have to be picky like that and, really, we’ve all heard about guys needing to “sow their wild oats,” haven’t we?

Social programming and conditioning was designed to keep us – guys – from doing a whole lot of sowing while shaming women into avoiding any sex that didn’t have shit to do with allowing their precious eggs to be fertilized except under certain conditions, oh, like being in a relationship with a guy and being in love, for example.

Yeah… it’s complicated… but despite all of this, men and women do have sex because, um, that shit is fun and if there aren’t any strings attached, so much the better since, preferably, you wanna attach said strings to someone you care about and more than just someone who can scratch that itch for you. But even in things hetersexual, we’ve seen this same behavior where there are two camps, one in favor of casual and recreational sex and one in favor of sex only in a relationship mode and with the appropriate feelings involved.

I’ve been around long enough to see how the dynamic has shifted from guys throwing the dick down on each other because they could to settling into the more formal mode of avoiding casual sex and in favor of relationship sex. Again, not necessarily a bad thing because it represents a form of “normalization,” I think – just because it’s two guys (or two gals) doesn’t mean we can’t go about this the way we’ve always gone about it and this, as strange as it may sound, actually makes a lot of sense…

If we could all agree that it does… and we don’t. A lot of bi guys in the “relationship first” faction get totally bummed out because trying to find a guy who is of a similar mind is pretty damned difficult. It’s not really about being in love and as we understand it – it’s about being able to have sex with someone who is going to be invested is us in some way; maybe not a boyfriend in the conventional sense but, sure, a friend with benefits – and a degree of exclusivity – would work just fine as long as, again, that arrangement is more than a sex-only kind of thing.

More and more guys are opting to keep their pants on if that investment isn’t – or can’t be – established and, again, that’s not necessarily a bad thing but I’ve also seen FWB change from something that’s a bit more than casual to becoming more of a committed thing to be involved in and it’s not that surprising because this is something we know about and know well – it’s normal to have loads of sex with someone you care about, considered distasteful to just have sex because it can be done.

The “hearts, not parts” gang gotta be deliriously happy about this but their premise is more pie in the sky stuff than what’s really going on since sex is about the parts but historically rarely without taking into consideration the “heart” attached to the “parts” or, simply, we do think about who we wanna have sex with which is why, I think, we rarely, if ever, have sex with someone we know we don’t like or can’t find something interesting enough about them so that sex can be done.

Or, as I say, I don’t have to be all into a guy to get nasty with him – I just gotta like him enough to want to. Here’s the thing I grew up with: You find a guy interesting enough that you wanna get naked with him and if he’s agreeable, it’s a done deal. If the interest continues either because the sex was all that and/or you find that you have more in common than just liking dick, so much the better because who doesn’t want to have that friend they can be open enough with to have sex? Wait… isn’t it said that having sex with a friend isn’t a good thing? Yeah, it is… and now you might begin to see some shit taking shape and some shit that I’ve always found interesting because it’s a contradiction – perception versus truth – and, yep, complicated.

Some guys say, “I can’t see myself falling in love with another guy…” and that’s in the romantic sense; we slice and dice it because many of us will tell a guy, “I love you like a brother, man!” – but that love isn’t romantic and might not be sexual at all and as such, it’s all good. But, again, there are a growing number of men who are of a mind that romantic intent is implied in this and it kinda fucks with some guys because, um, they’re already romantically involved and usually with a woman.

It sounds crude but some guys are really of a mind that if they have a woman, they have the best romantic outlet known to mankind which lends itself to a lot of disappointment because when your need for romance is in hand, the “only other thing” you need to go along with the romance is sex – theoretically speaking, of course… and men are infamously known for being able to have sex without romance being involved – we look for sex and find a relationship.

A lot of guys are of a mind that, say, wanting to suck a dick (or five or ten) and just because it can be done is the wrong way to go about doing this and, I think, with great disregard for the fact that, um, men do behave like this. It’s not that we’re “afraid” of romantic entanglement – we just somehow know that you can have one without the other but, sure, when you can have both, that works, too.

Women say that we’re emotionally closed off… and that’s not really true – we’re just not open 24/7 to our emotions like that because we’re taught to keep our emotions in check, well, except for getting pissed off about shit. It’s not that we’re opposed to romance – many of us are hopeless romantics at heart but many of us say, have said, will say, that being in love or otherwise romantically involved with a guy just can’t happen… or it’s not supposed to… but it does since we know about gay men. Even I once said I could never fall in love with a guy… then I did and it was eye-opening, magnificent, and the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced.

But, like so many other guys, I don’t need to be “in love” with you to want to have sex with you. I have to like you and to whatever degree that happens to be – yep, I do pay attention to the “hearts” thing because not paying attention to this aspect of things just doesn’t make any sense at all. But I understand something and something it seems to me a lot of guys don’t: Men aren’t women and I find it a bit “disturbing” to see a lot of guys being of a mind that they can deal with a guy in the same manner they’d deal with a woman. Emotionally, we’re different – big time duh – but in other ways, not so much. Guys fret and fuss about dating each other and how problematic this is for them and, I think, because dating is a prelude to establishing a relationship… and a lot of guys just ain’t feeling that and more so if they’re already in a relationship and getting some dick is that “something on the side” thing.

In this, some guys are trying to invoke a form of monogamy into a sexual situation that doesn’t lend itself to the rules of monogamy; if you’re already in a relationship, tacking on another relationship “doesn’t make sense” but the sex? Yeah, that can still happen, you know, if you want to and we don’t really have to be more than just friends for this…

And, apparently, this is becoming less true these days. I sit back and take note of these particular debates and I marvel at them because I can see, if no one else does, that wanting to be in a meaningful relationship with someone and with sex as a perk is something that’s ingrained in all of us – now, whether or not it really works has always been up in the air. We’d prefer to surround ourselves with people who give a fuck about us as a person and avoid those people who just see us as a means to an end.

So if “Pete” just wanted to hook up with “Carl” just to have sex without developing a more deeper bond, well, “Carl” probably ain’t feeling that NSA stuff… and “Pete” isn’t looking to get “tied down” with another guy like this and the end result is nothing happens… when both guys know that something should happen and because it’s supposed to – or it could if we weren’t now of two minds about this.

It’s fascinating to see this at work and more so since I’m now able to see this at work more than ever before thanks to the Internet and having better access to other bisexual men and their thoughts – and feelings – about this. Bi guys are saying that you can’t get their dick or their ass (or both) without some kind of commitment or investment in them… and others are saying that all of this ain’t even necessary. Nice but not mandatory in the grand scheme of things. We want a guy to come back (and, yeah, literally so) for more of us, not just for the sex we can provide but because of us as a living, breathing and, yes, feeling person. If you just wanna get at us and we’ll never see or hear from you again, well, that’s not cool – and now guys are finding out something that women know about us and tend to despise us for.

And it’s no wonder that some gay men avoid bi men at all costs because we’re not so inclined to be romantically involved. Yes – like you enough to want to bump uglies with you, not so much of a mind to play house with you and, facts being what they tend to be, a lot of guys shy away from M2M romance because – and I almost ‘hate’ to say it – it’s too gay for their sensibilities and, well, um, bi guys aren’t homosexual guys and to “expect” a bi guy to behave like a true homosexual doesn’t seem to make sense because we love those crazy women too much to give them up just to be romantically and sexually exclusive to and with another guy. But, yeah, even that happens but you don’t hear much about it when it does.

Finally – and I know y’all are thinking, “It’s about time!” – we have long held to the fact that love and sex aren’t the same things – they just work well together except, even where sexuality is concerned, sex without love or, realistically, that emotional bond being established and firmly in place is just wrong and in the minds of many. To those folks who see bisexuality as some kind of abnormal behavior, I wanna tell you that it’s not as abnormal as you think it is because, regardless of sexuality, we all want the same things in life. We want and need sex and preferably with someone we care about and who cares about us and bisexuals, it seems, are falling in line with this preference because you don’t have to rely on a single source to be able to have and get both affection and sex.

The “problem” is that the reality we don’t want to really acknowledge says something different and, so, bi guys are of two minds about this and I’m not gonna say that one side is more right than the other because it’s all about what works for an individual and, perhaps, not so much the way things are supposed to be.

You decide if romance is mandatory or not even if you’re not bisexual. Think about why you feel the way you do about it and maybe you’ll see why this fascinates me so much.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Bisexuality and Age

Saw an older post on the forum where the OP asked if guys who are bi when they get older are really bi (or something to that effect) and the comments were… interesting.

Many of the comments were from older guys around my age and in sexless marriages but one guy emphatically suggested that older dudes stop blaming women for their predilection for cock which, I guess, has some merit except that it always seems to be a “logical progression” for guys in sexless marriage to want to play with a dick. That responder suggested that the reality is being made celibate by a woman who is not all that interested in sex is just an excuse to do something they’ve probably always wanted to do.

The question popped into my head, “Well, what about all the guys who discover this when they’re older, not married or still married, and still getting pussy?”

Another responder offered that as men get older, their testosterone levels drop but their estrogen levels increase and I said to myself, “Hmm…” because from what I understand, our sex drive is tied to how much testosterone we have (and are supposed to have) and guys suffering from Low T report that their desire to have sex has gone out the window along with other complaints.

An increase in estrogen might “feminize” our features but as a reason why older guys “suddenly” want to play with dick? Not sure that’s what’s really going on.

It surprises guys and especially those who’ve never entertained a single thought about this. Maybe it surprises guys who “fooled around” back in their day, got away from it, only to have it revisit them out of nowhere but, as one responder said, he had sucked a dick in his youth… but when he did it at his current age, all it did was confirm what he always thought: That he was bisexual.

Not everyone feels the pull in this direction. Some feel it and manage to ignore it while, duh, others feel it at some point in their life and feel compelled to investigate. Some guys are perplexed because, okay, they did it when they were younger and, I dunno, figured that they got it out of their system and that was that… then find themselves dealing with the great urge to play with a dick.

Age, such as it is, doesn’t appear to be much of a determining factor, does it? I often talk about triggering events that can be responsible and, yeah, sometimes, a woman is involved in the triggering process but the reality is that anything can be a trigger from being stressed, emotionally distressed and depressed, to somehow coming to the conclusion that, um, I’ve done everything a man could do with a woman and doing them with a guy is next on the list.

One responder offered that older guys turn to dick because they know they’re running out of time and as if sucking a dick/being fucked is a bucket list item. Maybe it is for some older guys but I don’t think this is a general frame of mind or even that “Oh, shit…” moment you have when you get to be around sixty or so. But, if so, it’s also a triggering event to do something that, prior to being triggered into action, they never really thought about doing and whether there was some other need to do so or not.

Even my protege, when we first met, was perplexed by this even though, after further review, he did admit to being what I’d call a tiny bit curious, that and he could point to specific events in his youth where something could have happened between himself and another guy but it didn’t. So when he asked me how this happens to guys – and to guys who are “normally” pussy-centric, my first response was, “It just happens but no one really understands why…” – and then I went through the list of things I’ve seen first-hand that will make a “pussy-only” guy “suddenly” come to the conclusion or otherwise decide that having carnal knowledge of another guy’s prick just makes good sense…

Despite that thing that lives inside us that says it doesn’t make sense at all.

Everyone who is late to the party has a story to tell about how they got to this point, from girl problems to even admitting that they’ve felt this way for the longest time and they’re just now getting around to doing something about it if they can. What’s clear to me is that some guys can point to a specific thing, a moment or event, in their lives and, okay, cool – but what continues to mystify me and others are those guys who really do wake up one morning and think, “Today would be a good day to suck a dick!” – then they’re wondering why they want to.

I can’t explain it and I’m not really sure if anyone can. I just know that it happens and it doesn’t make much of a difference how old you are when this lands on you although, admittedly and thanks to the Internet, we see there are a lot of guys my age (and older) who are partaking of the dick for the first time in their lives.

Or, like one guy I talked to who said, “Why not? Everyone else is checking it out!” when I asked him what possessed him to want to give this a try. It begs the question of whether or not this is some biological process that’s just now waking up or if it’s really some weird sense of logic going on but, sure, as mentioned in my scribble about nature versus nurture, there are environmental things happening that makes, say, wanting to suck a guy’s dick just seem logical and sensible.

I know a lot of men and women who have said they’d never do anything like this… and then they do… and they’re wondering what happened and, to be honest, I wanna know, too, because this is one aspect of bisexuality that just defies explanation but, yep, it still happens and thanks to greater visibility, we’re learning that it’s not as uncommon as we might think.

There are those who suggest that our propensity and drive to have sex just pushes us in this direction and maybe that’s true but, again, how do you prove it? Some of us jumped onto the wagon before the onset of puberty, you know, when all those hormones wake up and turns us into sex fiends and experimenting with dick, again, just makes sense. Why? How? Damned if I know.

I supposed that due to a previous lack of visibility, being older and discovering bisexuality seems to be a glaring incongruity and it has guys asking, “Why now and why not any time before now?” You could say that everything happens when it’s supposed to happen but that’s kinda… vague but when you really can’t explain something, this one usually works… but still doesn’t really explain things or answer the many questions that pop up relative to this.

And who really knows how shit in our heads really works? I’ve heard a lot of people ask, “Why does this just make sense?” and, again, damned if I know but something is going on in that lump of grey matter that comes to the conclusion – and by some unknown means – that checking out the other side of sex really does make sense.

Or, as a lot of people have told me, “Sounded like a good idea at the time…” You can safely say that if a guy (or even a gal) had this on their mind at any point in their life and in that “I wonder what it would be like?” way, sure, that might lend itself to wanting to answer that question. Likewise, for those who dabbled early on and are coming back to it, sure – makes sense since they’ve done it before.

Does not even come close to those folks for which those two conditions didn’t exist for them, does it? I just don’t agree with any theory that getting older is a catalyst in and of itself since, again, I know you can be of any age and this can bumrush you out of nowhere.

It just happens to some folks and I know this because I’ve been around long enough to see it happen. Believe it or not, for a lot of guys, going this route is, indeed, an option… but of the “last resort” kind. For these men, a lot of things has to happen in a specific way and at a specific time before they’d even think about taking this option. They could if they had to but if they don’t have to, okay, that works… right up to the moment when whatever conditions they’ve set come into play and does that weird think of confusing the shit out of them while making perfectly good sense.

And maybe, just maybe, once gets to be a certain age and gets to understand that whatever they knew about sex really doesn’t make sense when it comes to excluding playing with a dick (or a coochie if you’re an older gal). Now, what age might that be? Realistically, it can be any age – you really don’t have to be “old” to wise up to certain things and as evidenced by the many 20-somethings who are up to their eyeballs in it… and because it makes sense to be all up in it.

A lot of years ago, I read this question: “What price do you put on your sexual satisfaction?” It made me realize that we do put a price tag on it and in the form of what we’re not gonna do in that pursuit of orgasmic bliss. Then someone “decides” that having too high a price tag on it not only doesn’t make sense but defeats the purpose of having sex because, you know, that shit just feels good. Is it logic… or something else we can’t qualify or quantify? Biology or one’s social environment?

Don’t know. Again, I know it happens; I’ve heard what those who have come over to the bi side has said and I have some understanding of some things that can trigger someone’s “inner bisexual.” Can’t point to any one specific or definitive thing. Overthinking the whole thing? Perhaps but it’s a question a lot of men and women ask and, yeah, it requires a whole lot of thought and so much that the best advice you can give someone who’s trying to figure out why they have an urge to play with a dick (or a pussy) is for them to just accept it… because there’s no singular way to really explain it and more so when we all don’t arrive at this place for the exact same reasons… and if there’s even a reason one can point to… and sometimes, there isn’t one or one that could be said to make “real sense.”

There are those who’d frown at a 70-year-old guy who has just now discovered how much fun it can be to play with a dick and those frowners would berate him for wanting to do something that has been forbidden all this time. Maybe we accept his reasoning behind making this decision (and “all late and wrong”) and maybe we don’t because those of us who’d never have a reason to go there can’t understand why someone very much wants to go there. And if you were to ask this guy about it, maybe he can find the words to explain it… and maybe he can’t. In this, we make a lot of fuss about what’s being done… but why continues to escape us or isn’t worth all of the time and effort it takes to dig deep and try to figure out why this happens to some late – and later – in life.

Even I tend to boil it down to as simple a thing as my brain can make it: It happens and it’s always happened and it’ll keep on happening and without any one thing that can be singled out. At this very moment, there’s a 64-year-old man or woman who has been bitten by the bisexual bug, just like there’s someone 16 or even younger who’s been bitten.

Age just doesn’t make a difference in this.