“…to have someone who’s the same sex as you are going down on you and/or you going down on them?”
I’ve heard (and have been asked) this question a lot and my usual response is, “Yeah, it can feel that way and it does because the person doing it isn’t the person who’s supposed to it… you sure as hell ain’t supposed to be doing it.”
There are, of course, those people who firmly believe that no one should ever give or receive head… and I’m sure as hell not talking about them. It’s not like no one knows about cock sucking and pussy eating and we do know that anyone can suck a cock and/or eat a pussy provided they’re so inclined to do so. What makes it weird, again, is that in the same-sex mode, it’s not supposed to be done.
Which doesn’t and hasn’t changed the fact that it gets done… a lot. As I’ve said numerous times, it’s usually the first thing learned in bisexuality and I’ve continued to find it interesting that people can know that this can be done in the same-sex mode but find it weird when it’s them being in that moment of truth.
Okay, first time out of the gate, yep, it looks weird and feels even weirder before anything happens and, yep, forever and always, because it’s not supposed to go down – and the pun is intended – like this. That sense of weirdness continues once things get going until one realizes – and especially if someone of the opposite sex has ever gone down on them – that, hmm, this feels familiar! It should… because the act itself isn’t any different.
Things like technique and skill can be different but as I’ve written lately, the thing that makes it so weird is that we’re thinking about who’s doing it more than what’s about to be done. And, sure enough, if you’re the one about to give some head, whew, does that ever feel weird!
“Don’t you feel weird sucking a guy’s dick?”
Um, no, not really… well, kinda but overall, nah… then again, I’ve had decades to banish any feelings of weirdness and, for the record, yeah – the first time I ate pussy was seriously weird but just like sucking dick, hmm, this shit is fun once you get used to it.
Despite the weirdness of it, many people find that once their gird their loins and say, “Fuck it!” in their head and do it, wow, how about that? This wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be. Still feels kinda weird and as evidenced by the many times I’ve heard a guy say, “I don’t believe I just did that!” And a lot of people have had their minds blown to understand, in an instant, how “normal” it feels and some are equally mind-blown to realize that they just sucked a dick or eaten a pussy… and as if they’d been doing it all along.
“Does it feel any different from a guy/gal doing it?“
Yes. No. We think it does and that it should but, again, we’re thinking about who’s doing it. With some of the guys I’ve given their first male blow job, I often ask or tell them to close their eyes, not because I don’t want them to watch me working them over but because their eyes can send some conflicting messages: Your eyes tell you there’s a guy sucking your dick and your brain knows it and, well, a guy’s not supposed to be doing that. So close your eyes and if you can, don’t think about who’s doing it – think about what’s being done.
Ya almost can’t stop yourself from looking because it’s so weird to be a girl and there’s another girl giving you the business when you’re more used to a guy down there. I’ve suggested to guys to close their eyes but I’ve not been surprised to see that when I look up at them, their eyes are open and watching. And, by the way, I do love the looks some guys can get on their faces, from what I call the “no big deal” look to the “I don’t fucking believe he’s sucking my dick!” look.
And the “This feels good” look. I mean, who knew, right? A lot of people know and you’re just now one of many who knows. Weird? You betcha! Feels amazing to get it and give it? Usually but that depends on how long it takes for an individual to get over how fucking weird the whole thing is. Some get over it pretty quickly and some don’t – might take a few moments and, indeed, some still feel weird after the fact.
“This is gonna take some getting used to, huh?“
Pretty much, yeah. Some are “naturals” at it and there’s no real adjustment period but for others, yep, it’s gonna take x-amount of time to readjust one’s thinking about this. How come something that’s supposed to be so bad feel so good? Um, because it’s supposed to feel good?
“Does it get easier the more you do it?“
Usually but the “hard part” about this is convincing yourself to do it again but, yeah, “practice makes perfect” and all that. Again, a lot of it depends on how long it takes for one to get over how fucking weird it was the first time and dealing with the massive thoughts and feelings connected with doing something you weren’t supposed to do in the first place. Some do tend to struggle the second time around and a lot of it can be worrying about whether they’re doing it right (or it’s being done right) and whether it’s satisfying or not.
In this, I say to many that while worrying about it is pretty normal, it’s often a matter of personal pride in that no one wants to be tagged at being lousy at giving head or someone who can’t handle getting head. If you’re gonna do it, you wanna be good at it because, well, because. At some point, bleh – someone is going to think and maybe have the audacity to tell you that it wasn’t good for them and that’s not gonna feel good at all (a great understatement) but don’t let that fuck with your head and more so when you’re just learning this and if anything else, it should motivate you to work on perfecting your technique and even your ability to enjoy being the one getting head from someone who, again, ain’t supposed to be giving it to you.
“What if I can’t do it?“
Then you can’t. I’m not ever gonna lie to anyone about this when I say it’s not as easy as it might seem to be or as one might think. And I do mean it’s not easy to give head or to receive it in this way. That mental block that’s been installed into everyone just makes it too damned weird for either thing to happen even when it’s what you want to do. The thing here is if you find that you can’t, don’t force yourself to do it and by all mean don’t let the other person goad you into doing it. The “mistake” a lot of people make here is knowing that they’re having a problem doing it or getting it but the other person is expecting them to keep their word and do it/get it done and they’re gonna get very pissy if it doesn’t happen.
I’ll tell anyone that if you can’t, then don’t. Just stop. If the other person gets pissed about it, too bad and if they don’t understand why you couldn’t, that’s not your problem but they’re gonna make it your problem and you shouldn’t allow that, either. Some do stop… then get their stuff together and continue and some just can’t. All very normal because this is some seriously weird shit for one’s mind to cope with all at once.
And it’s my lifelong position that there is no shame at all if you can’t.
“I feel so guilty – is that normal?“
Yes, it is very normal: You just got finished doing some shit you weren’t supposed to do and what you did has always been seen as a very bad thing to do. I just happen to know that the guilty feeling that’s now kicking your ass isn’t always due to the moral dilemma. The short version is that along the way, you depleted a bunch of chemicals that, once the tank is empty, yep – you’re gonna feel pretty shitty and feeling “guilty” will make you believe that what just happened didn’t feel good… while you were doing it.
It’s my thought that guys feel this… depletion guilt more than women do and, honestly? If the ladies do feel guilty, they don’t make a big deal out of it and if they’d even admit it. You run your tank of feel good chemicals dry and it just stops you from wanting – and being able – to have sex immediately afterward. True enough, many learn to work through this moment and it ain’t that easy because your body is telling you it’s game over but your mind is saying that there’s still work to be done, i.e., getting them off. It’s a very ugly feeling and very much resembles moral guilt and, believe it or not, pretty much everyone feels it when having “normal” boy/girl sex but the difference here is that over time, you just learn not to pay so much attention to it even though you do feel like you don’t wanna do it again, well, not right now – give me a few, okay?
This feeling is more pronounced and noticeable because, yeah, y’all just got done doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing and the depletion ties in nicely with the moral dilemma.
“Damn; why do you know so much about this shit?“
Because I do and I made it one of my missions in life to understand this from it being weird as fuck and why you might feel horribly guilty. I felt them at one point in my life and I wanted to know why, to really get into the guts of the question I asked myself so very long ago. It’s bad because they say it is but it feels good but it can feel bad at the same time and morality, as we believe, isn’t always the culprit. I’ve talked to so many people over my life about these things to find out what they think, how they feel and why the way they think and feel the way they do and, yep, I’ve had over five decades to study this.
Yep… that’s a long time to be doing some shit I was never supposed to be doing from sex with guys to, yeah, even eating pussy which is something a lot of guys still don’t believe guys are supposed to be doing – just too weird for them.
I can tell you that sucking cock/eating pussy for the first time can be very damned weird. Hell, just being naked with someone who’s the same sex as you are can be very damned weird all by itself – and you will please note that I did not say “gender” because it’s irrelevant and has nothing to do with giving and receiving head from someone who, morally, you shouldn’t even be thinking about doing. The “Hearts, Not Parts” gang will most definitely disagree with this and tell you that none of this should be about the parts…
When giving head is about the parts. Cocks. Coochies. Breasts and nipples. Lips and tongues. All those parts including the actual skin you’re in. It’s weird as fuck and whether you can get over the weirdness of it to do it or have it done, well, that’s up to you to figure out. What I know is that you’re either gonna figure it out or you aren’t. No biggie. An untold number of people figure it out and the same number of people can’t and don’t. It’s either gonna fuck with you big time or it won’t.
Weird. Some even say that it’s weird but in a good way. Belief – and as I’ve been talking about here of late – plays into this as well: You either believe it can’t and shouldn’t be done or you believe that you just might be able to indulge in this “forbidden” pleasure. And people do, in fact, give and get head like this. Every day. Even at this exact moment. Everywhere in the world.
And if you accept that this is true (and it is), um, how weird can it really be? A few hundred million people or more can’t all be wrong about this, can they?
You decide, you know, if ya want to.