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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 29 April 22

Woke up with my mind already in the gutter; thoughts were roiling through my sleep-addled state like I’d walked into the middle of a movie… but it wasn’t like even in this state I didn’t know what the movie was about.

I don’t remember having any salacious dreams that I could blame this… unauthorized trip to the gutter but I was remembering a conversation with a guy I first met online and him asking me what I expected of him when we met to suck each other off… and me being reminded of how… literal-minded I can be at times because I had answered him, “Uh, I expect you to suck my dick; was there something else we need to talk about?”

I’m staring in the mirror and cleaning the sleep out of my eyes and I’m frowning over giving him such an answer and more so when I understood – all late and wrong – that he wanted to have a little phone sex prior to our meeting in an hour. I was too busy dealing with the famous Listerine tingle in my mouth to remember if I entertained him in this but I’m sure that I may not have because phone sex, to me, is “counterproductive” since instead of talking about what we can do to each other, let’s just do it.

I’m panting like a dog in heat trying to “cool” my tongue off after spitting out the Listerine and if I wasn’t awake before, I am now. That tingle is no joke. My brain reengages and drops me off at the part of the conversation when he was asking me if there was a particular or specific way I wanted to be sucked and one part of me understood the question but another part of me didn’t and “chastised” the part that did understand because, okay, look: If you’re going to blow me, you’re going to do it the way you know how to suck dick and with making adjustments as necessary. There’s technique, of course, but that’s something everyone who sucks dick winds up developing and maybe even mastering and, well, I didn’t see the sense of his question and more so when that literal part of my mind suggested that if I were to have… specifications for how I wanted my dick sucked, no one would want to do that to and for me and if a guy laid such specifications on me, nope – he might get his dick sucked but I won’t be doing it.

I asked the part of my mind that was supposed to be restricting entry into the gutter at this point in my day (and totally failed to do that), “Where are you going with this?” while trying not to get soap in my eyes as I washed my face. As an aside, I’m also still trying to decide if I really like the Dove soap for men that smells like sage; it’s supposed to be a manly scent but when I smell sage, I think turkey and stuffing. Anyway, I meet with the guy after a brief discussion about why I thought we should split the cost of the hotel room and him making a case for why he should cover the whole cost. The room is nice and in a nice hotel… and I remembered having a thought that at least neither one of us would have to worry about a roach crawling on us had he selected a no-tell motel. Now, I’d never had that happen but I’d heard stories…

If I had to describe “Hank,” he was middle-aged and unassuming, the kind of guy that if you saw him, you’d forget that you did because there was nothing about him that would stand out in your mind. He was just an everyday and average kind of guy. Perhaps a few pounds heavier than he wanted to be and he was very nervous. This wasn’t his first rodeo but, okay, I understood his nervousness because I was as well – I just did a better job of hiding it than he was doing. He had a nice smile that reflected in his eyes and I had noticed that as we stood in the nicely appointed room and very much in that awkward “pregnant pause” moment and waiting for someone to do… something other than just stand there.

He’s nattering his thanks (again) for agreeing to meet with him and I deemed that he was genuinely expressing himself but while he’s doing that, I’m debating with myself to either undress first or be “bold” and undress him… and decided to strip him bare because, well, why not? Hank got this… surprised look on his face as I stepped closer to him and started going after the buttons on his shirt. He appeared to be shocked and fixed in place as I efficiently stripped him down to his birthday suit and neatly folding his clothes as I did so to place them on one of the side chairs. I’m sure he’d never had anyone do this to him before and, well, he was… cute. Blushing deeply red. His dick hard and standing proudly and waiting to be saluted. Good.

He muttered something that I didn’t pay any attention to as I started undressing. I’m deliberately not looking at him; I remembered the last guy I looked at while I was getting undressed and how he said my very intense gaze unnerved him and made him feel afraid. Not my intent, of course but, yeah, given what I was thinking about doing to his dick, he was right to be afraid. But, nope – not looking at Hank but I can feel his eyes on me. I hear him mutter, “Damn…” and I’m not sure why he did. I finally finish undressing and setting my clothes aside and turn to look at him.

If I had shouted, “Boo!” Hank might have jumped out of his skin. His whole body is flushed so red that he looked like he’d gotten a sunburn and I’m momentarily concerned because he was still rooted in place so I kinda wave to him and said, “Come on over here…” He takes three steps toward me and I uncharacteristically reach out and hug him. I think this, too, surprised him because it took a good second before he wrapped his arms around me and returned the hug.

I’m puttering around in the kitchen and my mind is deep into this guttery moment. I suspected that Hank was intimidated and the hug was “designed” to put him at ease; I’d whispered in his ear, “I’m glad I could be here with you…” I leaned back so I could look into his eyes – and I almost laughed because I knew he thought I was going to kiss him and, honestly, I did think about it for two or three slices of a microsecond but I didn’t. I stepped back and guided him to the bed and he automatically sat, then laid down… and let the feasting begin.

During our pre-meeting talk, Hank had expressed a “concern” to not just jump right into sucking and as, in the here and now I’m looking out of the window… because it was there, I couldn’t remember why he had expressed this but I did remember telling him not to worry about that. I’ve got him on the bed and I’m all over him but not in an aggressive sort of way as I start with his neck and ears and start working my way down his body; I stopped at his nipples and do a number on them because, well, I like nipples. I’m in close contact with his body and I can feel his body heat… and he’s fever hot. He’s kinda got his hands fluttering here and there on me as I work my way down to his navel and start doing a number on that because, like a man’s nipples, little attention is every paid to someone’s navel which is literally connected to the core of one’s body.

I’m remembering the smile I had on my face at this point. Hank is totally disarmed at this point; he’s 100% at my mercy and I knew that I could do anything I wanted to. Anything. But, I’m not that guy and continue to lick and kiss my way down to his crotch. I bypass his dick and the huge drop of pre-cum at the slit and in favor of checking out the inside of his thighs; I remember how his legs just automatically spread wider so I could get at his inner thighs which allowed me to also settle in between his legs. The heat wafting off of his crotch was… impressive and I remember having the silly thought that he was so hot that I could have cooked an egg. I stifled the laugh I’d felt coming so I could finally do what I came here to do.

I took Hank’s dick down to the bone in one fell swoop; I felt him tense for a moment, then relax. I held him there and just letting my tongue do whatever it felt like doing. He felt good in my mouth; he tasted good and clean; his very musky scent was quite pleasant. I cupped his balls and, in an instant, I felt his dick swell in my mouth, heard him say, “Oh, no…” and my mouth was getting filled with his cum. Well, damn. I wasn’t disappointed or anything like that and, in fact, I wasn’t feeling anything other than basking in feeling his dick shuddering deep in my mouth and swallowing every drop of cum he had. I did think that, in a way, by cumming now, he saved himself from the “vicious” sucking I was preparing to give him.

He’s done and I release him; I look up at him and, yep, he’s got that look on his face that let me know how embarrassed he was because he came too fast. He was about to apologize but I cut him off by saying, “Don’t. No need to apologize. Nothing to worry about and unless you want to leave, we’ve got time to do this again, okay?”

Hank nods and finds his voice. “That… that was, damn, Jesus Christ! Where did you learn how to do this?”

I laughed and said, “I’ve been doing this since I was nine so I’ve learned some stuff along the way. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, um, yeah, I’m okay,” he says. “Can I suck you now?”

“Please do,” I said, getting up from between his legs and rolling over onto my back. The thing I liked about Hank was that he actually started doing to me what I’d done to him and it was… cute because he was so… tentative about it. He’d gotten to my nipples and it was like he wasn’t sure what to do with them but after a few licks, he figured it out and so much that I cradled his head against me as he sucked my nipples. He did make a stop at my navel, which was nice, before bypassing my legs and going right after my dick.

He wasn’t of a mind to go slow. I could have asked him to slow down but I’ve always been of a mind to let a guy suck me the way he knows how to and according to how he’s feeling; unless his teeth started to bother me, I was content to let him do what he wanted. I was impressed that he didn’t try to take me deep; that told me that, if nothing else, he knew his limits. I’m now sitting at my computer and opening WordPress so I can write this down before I forget it and thinking about the times where a guy tried to deep throat me… and barfed. Ew.

Hank gets to sucking my balls and a bit too hard so I say to him, “Not so hard…” He lightens up and continues to suck them while holding my dick in a grip that was just a bit too tight but not unbearable and not worth saying anything to him about it. He goes back to sucking me and I’m liking how he’s using his tongue and really liking how he’s getting into it. He’s getting me to the edge and I’m immersed in the moment but not so much that I couldn’t warn him that I was gonna cum… because it’s just polite to do that when someone is sucking me for the first time. He didn’t stop but picked up the pace, sucking hard on my knob while furiously jerking on my shaft and… I cum. The sensations are swamping me into near incoherence and I’m dimly aware that I have my hands on his head and fucking into his mouth.

Damn, that was good. He was good. When he finally let go of me and looked up, I let him know that it was damned good and before he asked… and I somehow knew that he would. Big sigh. He stretches out alongside me and we’re… talking. He’s complimenting me and I’m returning the sentiment and genuinely so and we’re not exactly cuddling but lying very close to each other and that’s fine… because there’s a clock running in my head and counting down to the moment when I’m going to suck Hank’s dick again.

No “playing around.” I’m going to get after it and do the things I didn’t get a chance to do the first time. The internal timer runs out and I start to move; I take a moment to look into his eyes and I remember smiling at him and, perhaps, in a way that might have told him that he was in “trouble” because he had that “deer in the headlights” look for a moment… and I got right to it. I was… impressed. I didn’t have to ease him into an erection and as I thought I’d have to; I actually like sucking a guy’s cock when it’s soft and feeling him getting hard again in my mouth and Hank got hard in “record time.”

Good. I’m remembering that I showed him no mercy. None. I’d let my “inner cocksucking whore” out to play and “she” took the full measure of Hank. I had gently shoved my middle finger into his ass; he resisted, at first and tried to close his legs but since I was parked between them, yeah, he could do that so he relaxed and the rest of my finger went into him and started searching for his prostate. I can hear him vocalizing. He’s surprised by my… violation but muttering about how good it felt and that I shouldn’t stop.

And like I was going to. We hadn’t agreed to anal sex but at this point – and now that my probing finger found what it was looking for, I knew I owned him. If I had wanted to fuck him, I could have but that’s not what we agreed to. Yeah, we didn’t talk about fingers in the butt – and if he had really protested, I would have immediately withdrawn but, um, since he didn’t…

I was 100% in the moment. Nothing else existed other than my mouth on his dick and my finger “tickling” his prostate. I could feel his anal muscles clamping down and quivering against my finger and in sync with the tremors racing along his shaft. He’s got a grip on my head and something that I rarely allow a guy to do as he’s fucking into my mouth as if his life depended on it… which was my “evil” intent in the first place.

He lets out this… groan that sent chills all through me and his cock swells… and hot cum is spurting into my mouth and this time, there’s a lot of it. His anal muscles are clamping down on my finger so hard – and in time with his spurts – that my finger’s hurting but I stay the course just the same and gulp down every drop he had to offer and only now thinking that, hmm, his stuff tastes pretty good. He finally stops cumming; I gently remove my finger but I’ve not yet let go of his dick… because it feels so good in my mouth that I’m contemplating just keeping it going even though I was 99% sure he wouldn’t be able to bear up under it after busting such a big nut. As such, I should let him go…

And I didn’t. I “ignored” his questions of, “What are you doing?” Well, Hank, my man, what do you think I’m doing? My very gay lover taught me to how to suck a guy’s dick after he cums and how to avoid the head of the guy’s dick and it was a lesson I was very happy to learn… and use on poor Hank. Oh, yes – he’s about to catch a very bad break because the cocksucking Beast within me found his cock to its liking and Hank’s cum to be very tasty and “nourishing…” and it wanted more.

Yes. Resistance is futile, Hank. I’m remembering this moment and on the one hand, I feel… bad for doing this to Hank… and I don’t and didn’t. I was nearly mindless. Letting my lust run the show. Enjoying the fact that I spent a whole twenty minutes gently sucking his cock until it started getting hard again… and then the Beast bade me to take off the kid gloves and wreck shop on Hank.

We did that. Had to use one hand on his stomach to hold him down while the Beast and I ravaged him. As an afterthought, yeah, I felt bad about it; he was totally helpless but I was too deep in the moment to care. His dick felt amazing in my mouth; nearly a “perfect fit.” I needed his cum again and I wasn’t going to stop until I got it again. He gave it up to me, too, and it wasn’t like he had a choice in the matter. I gorged myself on what cum he had left to give and when he gave it and could give no more, only then did I let go of him because the “nice guy” I normally am reasserted control of the situation. I started to apologize to Hank… but he was, um, taking a nap.

We didn’t do anything else. He did apologize for not being in any shape to suck me again but I told him that was okay because I had jerked off while I was, um, doing a number on him and, oh, yeah, I am sorry about that but not really. We showered, got dressed and as we went on about our separate ways, he said that he’d call me later.

To be honest, I didn’t expect him to but, how ’bout that? He did and the first thing he said after I said, “Hello?” was, “You’re one scary son-of-a-bitch!” followed by how much he enjoyed what we’d done but how much my intensity unnerved him.

“You could have done anything you wanted to me… but you didn’t. Why?” he asked.

“Because we didn’t agree to anything other than what we agreed to,” the literal part of my mind had me say. I knew I could have but I’m honorable, well, to a point – I don’t always play fair and I knew I would feel like a heel if I’d fucked him and even when he was saying that he wouldn’t have objected if I had fucked him… and he’d never been fucked before. What was I that I could make him feel that way?

“I’m just… me,” I had said. He had wanted to know if I was like this with every guy and I said that I wasn’t, but he was… different. He wanted to know what that difference was and even as I sit here typing this, I couldn’t really say but what I did say – that I loved the way his dick felt in my mouth – well, I felt – and feel now – that it wasn’t that good of an answer.

“I want to meet up with you again… but you’re scary. In a good way but still scary. I’ve never felt the way you made me feel before,” he said, and I could hear the truth in his words. One part of me felt bad and another part was “laughing evilly” and not feeling bad at all.

“Okay, sure, if you want to,” I said. “If we do, this time, I’ll pick the place and pay for it.”

“Okay but I’m still not sure if I really want to,” he said.

“May I ask why?” I asked – because I really wanted to know.

“Because I’m afraid of what I’d let you do to me,” he said.

“And that is?” I asked – but I didn’t need to because I knew what that was.

“I’m afraid that I’ll let you fuck me… and that I’ll want you to,” he confirmed.

“Look, um, I’m not the kind of guy who’d go against an agreement,” I said. “See, it’s one thing if we agreed to it; it’s one thing to be in the heat of the moment and, um, shit happens but it’s one of those things where it’d be cool if there was that… awareness that it was okay for shit to happen, if you know what I mean. Like, okay, we’re talking. If you said that you wanted me to fuck you when we meet again, okay, we’ll talk about that and if we’re in agreement, that’s what we’ll do. I’m not sure I like the thought that you’re afraid of me and something is going to happen that, realistically, you don’t want to happen and I’m not in the habit of making guys do something they don’t want to do.”

I heard him sigh and it sounded like one of great relief. There was a long moment of silence and just as I was about to ask if he was still there, he said, “Yeah… I think you can get this ass and I think you should.”

We met at the place of my choosing a couple of days later. It was… intense but I wasn’t the origin of the intensity. My mind is still deep in the gutter thinking about how he sucked me and then how he was when I impaled him on my dick. He was… frenetic. I thought he was totally out of control and, later, he would admit that he was and that he liked it. It was so good for him to just go for it and not hold back whatever was going on inside of him.

I’m remembering the look on his face when I came inside of him. I remember him saying, “So that’s what it feels like…” I remember offering my ass to him and felt… somewhat disappointed that he turned it down.

“I’d rather feel you inside of me again,” he had said as we showered together.

He felt me inside of him again in the shower. I’m really not a fan of fucking guys but it felt… right with Hank. Hey, as long as he was happy and satisfied, that’s what really mattered.

I wonder how he’s doing. Things worked out to make it difficult for us to meet up again. C’est la vie. Not only does shit not happen but life does keep right on happening.

The door to the gutter has finally closed. I liked being with Hank. I have a now-fading memory of him saying that being with me changed the way he looked at being bisexual and how I showed him how much he was holding himself back and not being in the moment of things. That and I taught him some stuff about nipples and navels that he was gonna steal and he was definitely going to rip me off for that finger on the prostate thing that he hadn’t know about before… or that he even had a prostate.

Good stuff. “Nasty” gutter stuff. I’m laughing to think that my mind just doesn’t get all into the gutter: My mind owns it and it likes to remind me that it does and, well, just goes there even when I’m not even thinking like that and especially the moment I wake up and get out of bed.

Welcome to what it’s like to be inside my head…

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Posted by on 29 April 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 27 April 22

I was re-reading the now-old piece I wrote about asking for a bro-job and, interestingly, that piece gets read… a lot. I’m re-reading it, smiling and laughing softly to myself and my brain asks, “Yeah, you know how hard it can be to get a guy know that you’d love to suck his dick, right?”

Indeed I do. Sometimes it’s having a friend that your body knows is sexually attractive even if your brain won’t admit that he is or isn’t even thinking about him like that. Sometimes, it’s just being horny and to the point where you might have one of those split-second thoughts about what it’d be like to blow him and more so if you’ve ever seen his dick. I can remember way too many times hanging out with a guy, we’re both bored beyond belief and, well now, I know of something we could do that would take care of being bored. With the guys I knew were down with it, asking them if I could blow them was easy – and provided they didn’t beat me to the punch and ask first.

But with a guy that you don’t know how he might react to such a request? It can be like playing Russian Roulette with a loaded gun because he might get offended, freak out, whatever or like playing it with an empty gun – but you don’t know it’s empty until you find out that it is… and you’re happily sucking dick and if you’re really lucky, he’s just as happy sucking yours.

My brain reminded me of that “friends don’t have sex with friends” thing that even I know isn’t all that true, but my brain also reminded me that when a guy develops an interest in men and their dicks, many of them look to their friends to get that first experience under their belts. Now, the guys on the forum sometimes talk about this and, as usual, there are two camps: The one that says if you can’t ask a friend for and about this, who can you ask and the one saying that asking a friend if you can suck him off is tantamount to destroying the friendship and it should never be done.

My thoughts on this are that both camps are right… and they’re “wrong,” too. I’m remembering a moment where I was talking to a guy who was more acquaintance than friend and he was riffing about one of his close friends who asked about being able to suck his dick. Ranting about not being gay and assuming that his friend was and even more ranting about not knowing why his boy asked him that… then asking me if I knew.

Of course, I knew. I’m thinking about how to answer his question without letting him know exactly how I know this; we’re cool and all that but he’s not that cool with me. I took an extra moment to do some more thinking by asking him, “Why are you asking me?”

“Because you know shit,” he said. “You’re one smart motherfucker!”

I got into – and stumbled through – trying to explain the concept of “it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t” and with the “devil” having two roles and the biggest one is, yeah, you guessed it, guys aren’t supposed to be doing this in the first place. I was tripping all over myself trying to explain how two guys become friends and the more they interact with each other, the more trust is established between them and to the extent that you know some stuff about them that few other people know and the friendship can become so comfortable that if they were to see each other naked or in some other state of undress, well, it’s no big deal – we’re both guys and we have the same thing, right?

I stumbled and bumbled trying to explain that… bond or connection two male friends can have and how it’s possible that, well, you’re not actually attracted to him in any sense of the word but you just kinda know that if, by some weird chance, something was to jump off between them, well, it’s food for thought but it might not be that bad of a thing – and that’s even considering that the two guys have zero interest in dicks other than their own.

“It’s just that you can feel close enough to a guy where, okay, neither of you are into this but if it were to somehow come up, um, er, uh, listen, lemme ask you something – and that something can be some stuff that is a prelude to asking your friend if he’d be interested in letting you suck his dick… because the strength of the friendship bond “says” that you can ask. It’s… safer in a lot of ways than asking an acquaintance or someone else you don’t know well or at all,” I said. Man… I felt like an idiot trying to get this out and feeling as if I wasn’t making any sense.

“It’s not like he’s gay or asking you to be his boyfriend or some shit like that,” I said. “Sometimes, it’s just how you feel and sometimes you can get to feeling that way because if you’re really close friends, there’s not much you don’t know about him and that includes how he goes about having sex. You’ve been by his side in the good and bad times and you develop… empathy towards him. It’s not love in that sense – although y’all might say that you love each other like a brother – but, damn, I can’t really explain this because it’s hard to put such feelings into words but, yeah, I know that dudes can feel this way towards their close friends. It doesn’t mean that they’re gonna come right out and hit on them or anything like that but, uh, sometimes, you just know that if one of you asked such a question, um, the answer might not be no… or it could be no.”

“And before you ask, yeah, I’ve had friends ask if they could blow me,” I added… and I’ll be damned if I know why I added this.

“What did you do?” he asked.

“Got my dick sucked,” I said; if I was going to let the cat out of the bag, I might as well do that and throw the bag away.

“Why would you allow that?” he asked.

“Because we’re friends and if you’re a “true” friend, is there anything that you wouldn’t do for them?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t do that!” he said.

“Most guys wouldn’t but, still, if it was something that, I dunno know how to put it – but you knew that if you let him do it, he’d be okay with himself,” I said. “Or you’re just hanging out with him and there’s nothing to do and your both bored and sometimes – and I don’t really know why – giving each other a blow job is the thing to do,” I said.

“Seriously?” he asked.

“Yeah, seriously. It’s one of those things that if you can’t ask your close friend or say something about this to him, who can you do this with?” I asked. “It ‘doesn’t mean’ mean anything other than this is how deep the bond you have with each other is. It doesn’t mean that either of you are faggots or some shit like that but, shit, um, that’s just how you feel. Sometimes, you know he’s hurting – maybe his girl dumped him or something like that and, again, I don’t know why but you want to do or say something that will make him feel better and if he asked you for sex, saying no is probably your first thought but the second thought might be along the lines of how bad can it be – and he’s your friend.”

“That’s some shit,” he said.

“The ‘real shit’ is being in such a situation with a close friend and you get it into your head that the way to make him feel better is to suck his dick… and you have never been about any of that,” I said. “I’ve seen it happen too many times and, yes, I’ve seen it ruin friendships big time but this is one of those things where you tend to find out who your real friends are.”

“So if I asked you if I could suck your dick – not that I’m really asking – you’d say yes?” he asked.

“No and that’s because I don’t know all that well,” I said. “And there’s the thing and the difference and the problem because even when you know somebody, what you don’t know is how they’re going to react if you asked them or even said anything about it… and sometimes, you find out that you didn’t know them as well as you thought you did.”

“So, what – I should have said yes?” he asked.

“I’m not saying that at all but I’m not surprised that he asked you… because he thought he could. He wanted to do this for you and for whatever reason he needed to and that could, as I said, include the two of you hanging out, you’re bored, and well… that,” I said. “And that should have told you how much he trusts you.”

“This is some weird shit,” he said.

“Yeah, it is but it’s not unusual,” I said. “Lemme put it like this: Boys will be boys and this is one of the things that boys do even though no one believes that we should. Now it’s just a thing of whether or not you would be okay with something like this or not but if you aren’t, I don’t think that’s a reason to stop being friends with the guy but that often happens. Just one of those things that if you don’t ask, you won’t ever know one way or the other. You said no – and that was that.”

“You make it sound like I was the bad guy,” he said.

“No, no, no. He wanted to suck your dick. You said no. End of discussion except you’re wondering why he wanted to and I’m trying to explain it to you and nothing more than that,” I said. “Sure, some of my friends have asked me this. I’ve said yes because we’re friends like that… and I like having my dick sucked and I don’t think it’s weird to have a guy do it. But most dudes do. Just the way it is. That’s where the friendship bond comes into play and it’s the bond itself that can get a guy thinking about this and if he’s going to do it, sure – if you can’t ask a friend – and a friend that you trust – who can you ask?”

“Friends don’t have sex with their friends,” he said.

“Yeah… and it’s bullshit,” I said. “Friends can and do have sex with each other but it’s said that if they do, it’s a guarantee that the friendship will be ruined. It happens but it doesn’t always happen. It’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t.”

“Oh, okay – I get it,” he said. “Doesn’t mean I’d let him suck my dick but, yeah, I see what you mean.”

In a way, it didn’t matter to me if he got it or not. He asked a question, and I knew the answer even if I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth all that well. Yes, I outed myself by admitting that a friend has asked me if he could suck my dick and I said yes… because, why not? We’re friends and close enough for that question to be asked in the first place. I might not go do a crime because a friend asked me to but this? Sure – let’s go do this. I’ve said no a few times because I felt that it would do the friend “more harm than good.” Judgement call kind of stuff or, as I’ve said here of late, if you don’t mind, it never matters.

But the bond of friendship does matter. If you had a friend who asked if they could give you head and you had the sense that it was important to them, would you agree with it or, as many do, get offended? Guys who are looking at a friend understand that they’re putting the friend in a “tough” situation; maybe they know (somehow) that the friend would be agreeable and that they can ask but as I’ve seen, what they don’t know is whether or not they’re risking the friendship by asking. But, yeah – a lot of guys are of a mind that if they can’t ask a friend – and for whatever reasons makes sense to them – who can they ask and more so when getting online to get some dick isn’t as easy as it may appear to be?

It’s a trust issue. It’s a lot of things, really, but trust is high on the list. It’s… complicated. I still have a difficult time trying to explain this despite having experienced this myself. If nothing else, you really do get to know who your “real” friends are. It’s troubling because while you can be “sure” that you can ask a friend about this, you’re also “sure” that it might be a bad idea to ask them. I’ve seen guys going through this and it’s gotten my attention because… they’re acting weird. It has made me ask them, “What’s wrong?” and then going through that, “What makes you think there’s something wrong?” stuff that’s kinda funny since, clearly, I wouldn’t be asking you what’s wrong if you weren’t giving me the strong impression that something is wrong.

Sometimes, I’ve known what was wrong with them… and not understanding how I knew. When I’ve known – and they’ve asked – it hasn’t surprised me but what has surprised me is getting hit with this from a guy I would have no idea or clue or any indication that he’d ask such a question. Or being in those moments where sucking his dick… makes sense. It’s something I want to do for him as well as myself. It’s better than being bored and having nothing else to do other than to keep sitting here and talking. I “know” that I can ask but I also don’t know if I can ask. I’ve asked. The offer has been accepted and, sometimes, they expected me to ask.

It’s been rejected and, yes, I’ve lost those friends. Seriously fucked up but if you don’t ask, you won’t know and understanding that asking – or even “generally” bringing the subject up – can either bring you closer together as friends… or destroy the whole thing. Which is why this particular… compulsion doesn’t make a lot of sense while making a lot of sense and at a very basic level: If you can’t ask a friend… I guess the perception is that if you’re really and truly friends, well, you can ask or, yep, you can be asked. Now it’s decision time – asking the question and answering it. No way to know how that’s going to go; maybe it’ll be okay and maybe it won’t but the thing I think is important is that if a friend is asking to have sex with you, it’s because they trust you enough that they feel they can ask you… and accepting the risk and consequences if you lose your shit because they just asked you if they could do something that is… gay.

When it isn’t. It might not even be sexuality related. It’s not about being sexually attracted or attracted in the generally accepted sense. It’s about… friendship. Having that bond and the depth and strength of it that could make a sexual thing – like blowing each other’s brains out – “just a thing” friends can do… because it really is, you know, if you don’t mind or object.

Guys can be… hilariously funny in this even though it’s not really a laughing matter. I’ve been… entertained with a lot of very funny “what if” scenarios; I’ve had guys say that they’re asking me about this… for a friend. Yeah, seriously. I’ve had them try that “what would you do” thing and understanding that they’re trying to find out what, if anything, I would do because that would help them decide to ask me what, at this point, I already know about… and even if I had no reason to think that they would think about this.

It’s “boys being boys” but it’s really about being friends. If you can’t even confide in a friend about stuff like this, who can you do this with? This is the situation that taught me that one of the worst things about being bisexual is not having someone you can talk to about it. Ask a stranger or someone you don’t know all that well? Um, let’s not and say we did… but if we can open up to a friend? That works or it should, right? Now things reach the very deep end of the pool because you don’t know how they’re going to react.

Scary shit and makes turning to a friend in these things an “insane” thing to do, let alone think about… but guys do think about it. Gals probably do, too, but, eh, they don’t talk much about it but I have had some women express the same kind of thoughts and feelings about a friend… because approaching a “stranger” about it is even more scarier and potentially hazardous.

It begs the question of what would you do for a friend? And the answer isn’t an easy one and if you understand this, perhaps you can understand that them asking you about this wasn’t even easy for them but, yeah, again, if they can’t ask you, who can they ask or even talk to about this?

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Posted by on 27 April 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 26 April 22

Sometimes I really do try not to laugh at some guys. I don’t mean to but when a forum member asks how he can be better at sucking dick, it tends to make me laugh and wonder why he doesn’t know that practice makes perfect. It may not appear to be so but there’s a lot of common sense involved in being a sexually active bisexual male.

Sometimes a guy “masters” cocksucking right out of the gate. They’re a natural. That’s probably because a guy can be thinking about doing it, probably watches dicks being sucked if he watches porn, and more likely because he’s watched a woman suck him. Guys who have managed to conquer this particular fear before the fact tend to just dive on in there and with little hesitancy and there have been many times I’ve been sucked by a first-timer and I’m wondering if he fibbed to me about it being his first time.

Other guys have to work their way into sucking a dick; they have to “figure it out” because, as I’ve written a lot, it’s one thing to think about sucking a dick, something else when you’re about to put your mouth on one. Usually some fits and starts but unless the mental clusterfuck derails them, most guys figure it out and get in the groove. They sometimes worry about not “doing it right” but that’s to be expected but it always remains true that the only way to get better at something is to do it over and over and as many times as you can until whatever you’re trying to be better at becomes second-nature.

The only crimp in this, as far as sucking dick goes, is that what works on one guy might not work on another… but that’s just part of the deal and something you eventually learn the more you suck dick. I’ve seen guys on the forum ask how to suck a dick and, yeah, you might roll your eyes and think, “Duh…” but it helps to remember that this is usually seen as something so different that it’s almost unimaginable; I remember reading something a very long time ago that suggested that if you can see yourself doing a thing, you will be able to do it. By and large, eh, that kinda/sorta works but a lot of guys who are new to this sometimes can’t “see” themselves sucking a dick so when it’s time to actually do it, er, um, shit.

Still, the common sense thing is that if you want to get better at sucking dick, um, suck a lot of dick and if you can suck a lot of different dicks, even better. The problem comes when guys can’t do it; they want to but there’s usually a lot of stuff going on with them that prevents them from getting the experience and skill level they desire, up to and including sabotaging themselves by coming up with excuses for why they can’t and excuses that, with some thought, can be eliminated so to clear the way to suck some dick.

The other question is… how to suck dick and be safe from STDs. There are two ways and the first is to not suck dick but that’s self-defeating since the guy in question very much wants to. So, if this is immediately off the table, the next and best way to be safe sucking dick is to put a condom on the guy and if he has any objections, well, someone isn’t going to get their dick sucked. Additionally, you do have to find the guy who’s “right” for you and while I see forum members speaking to the kind of guys they’d stay away from, it’s not a one-size-fits all kind of thing and one always has to use the best judgement they can bring to bear.

Remember what I said about guys making excuses? I’ve heard guys say that they want to suck dick, they want to be safe, but they don’t want condoms involved… but still asking how they can suck a dick. I’ve seen guys respond by saying that, indeed, using condoms is a must until they’re in a relationship – then the condoms can be kept in the package… and are you serious about that? I understand the school of thought behind this in that establishing a relationship calls for building trust and really getting to know each other and that includes each other’s sexual history. Once that level of trust has been established, accepting the potential risk is deemed to be, well, acceptable.

If you buy into this school of thought – and a lot of guys do – um, if being in a relationship isn’t what you want to do – and that includes the FWB thing – common sense says that you put a condom on every dick you suck and this is non-negotiable. Here’s the thing about that: Sucking a dick wrapped in a condom leaves something to be desired. Tack on that really strange thing where a guy can be diamond-hard, goes to put on a condom, and instantly becomes flaccid and I’ve seen guys’ dicks go soft and it’s like they’re trying to hide because they seem to get smaller when soft than they were before trying to put a condom on.

Then there’s the, ah, “complication” of wanting to swallow cum which, um, well, that’s not going to happen if homey is wrapped up. For those of us who have sucked a condom-covered dick, well, it’s not quite the same. It feels different and no matter how thin the condom is. When you get into the nuts and bolts of it, it’s the tactile sensations of being able to feel the dick in your mouth as well as the taste of his skin and that nice and tasty pre-cum that plays into the pleasure of sucking a dick and… it’s just not the same. One of the mistakes guys can make with condoms is getting the wrong kind; preferably, you want the thinnest and unlubricated condom you can get. Unless you look for them, most guys get whatever condom is the least expensive and 99% of the time, they’re lubricated and many guys find that they don’t taste good and even more when the lubricant is impregnated with a spermicide. I’ll say that if you wrap the guy up and get to sucking – and your mouth goes numb – the wrong condom is being used.

Plus, whatever lubricant they use for condoms doesn’t taste good… because they aren’t “specifically” for cocksucking. I’ve heard of guys taking the cum out of a condom and swallowing it that way and, well, whatever floats your boat on that one. Flavored condoms, personally, aren’t my cup of tea; lots of artificial flavors and sweetners are employed (and for good reason) that I have never been able to acquire the taste of and to make matters worse, the moment that nasty stuff hits my tongue, it puts my mind in a place that has nothing to do with sucking homey’s dick. Yuck. Oh, why artificial sweetners? Because sugar can be a breeding ground for certain bacteria and viruses, so, um, well, this little factoid kinda speaks for itself, methinks.

Common sense suggests that if you’re not willing to take and accept the risks that are inherent in sex, don’t have sex. None of it. But if you’re going to suck dick – and do it a lot in order to get better at it – well, you know what you have to do in order to be safe doing it. What gets past me is why these common sense things doesn’t always click in a guy’s mind. I learned them… because I was sucking a lot of dick and I learned from the mistakes others made in this. As far as the sexual health of the other guy, I learned to adopt this: When in doubt, do nothing. You’ll probably piss the other guy off by refusing to suck him because you have doubts about his health and/or cleanliness but this ain’t totally about him, is it? And the only “bad” thing that’ll happen is you don’t do what both of you wants done.

Then there’s a thing I heard of where a guy will start out wearing a condom and then just rip it off before they cum and there’s a term for it that I can’t remember at this moment, but it is considered to be 100% uncool and even unethical.

I remember Cityman’s near-paranoid concerns about this and while I totally understood them, it didn’t escape me that this Harvard-educated guy’s common sense just abandoned him when voicing his concerns about the healthiness of sucking a dick. When I pointed out to him that mandating the use of condoms mitigates the risks he was like, “Oh, yeah – you’re right.” The thing is that, I’ll say, “most of the time,” we don’t use condoms for oral sex. Most folks who suck dick may or may not be aware that one of the determining factors in avoiding catching something nasty in your mouth is the health of your mouth; if you have cavities, gum disease, and even those “minors” cuts and scrapes in your mouth, they could open a door to your bloodstream and that’s obviously not a good thing. Still, it’s pretty hard to catch an STD in your mouth but it’s not impossible so common sense suggests that if your mouth isn’t healthy, um, ya might want to take care of that; otherwise, if you suck dick (or eat pussy) without protection – and you’re protecting him as much as yourself – you’re accepting the potential risks and consequences.

I tend to think that being a successful cocksucker is a mix of knowledge and just being “lucky.” I had reason to get into the science of things and especially when I knew of men and women who were infecting each other and, on the whole, almost at epidemic levels. What were these diseases? What are the symptoms? How are they taken care of medically? And, importantly, what are the best ways to avoid becoming a statistic? Getting deep into this level of understanding is… boring. Chock full of medical terminology that’s mind-numbing. Still, I’d say that it “stands to reason” that if you’re going to be an oral sex fiend – and that includes sucking dick – know the facts and learn them even if doing so wants to put you to sleep or makes you head hurt.

Sadly, you just can’t trust a guy’s word that he’s healthy enough to have sex. Getting tested? A damned good thing but here’s the thing I feel that people don’t pay attention to: Getting tested is a “snapshot.” At the time you’re tested, you can test negative for the commonly known stuff and including HIV… but if you’re still having sex, well, anything can happen after you’ve been tested. Then a lot of guys aren’t of a mind to (a) see a doctor regularly and/or (b) tell a doctor about his sexual history because he’s outing himself to the doctor and there’s that fear that the doctor is going to tell everyone he knows that he has a male patient who has sex with men. At the least, it’s embarrassing to have this conversation with a doctor, and I know because I felt embarrassed telling mine, but I told him anyway.

Because not telling him wasn’t a smart thing for me to do. Was I worried about him telling other people? No… because I know that he – and like other doctors – don’t want to get sued for breaking doctor/patient confidentiality and the HIPAA laws in effect today are strictly adhered to. Doctors pay a stupid amount in premiums for malpractice insurance, and they’d prefer to not have to use it. Besides, I trust him, and he’s not failed in his duty to keep me as healthy as possible.

Common sense stuff or, at least to me, it’s common sense. I not only learned how to be good at sucking dick and eating pussy, I also learned how to be safe doing it; I know the risks and I know what bad stuff has visible symptoms and what bad stuff doesn’t and there’s always that thing I mentioned earlier: When in doubt, do nothing. Even when being in a relationship and the understanding that it might not keep you as safe as you think it should do. I know that I don’t like anything between myself and the other person when I’m giving them head and most of the time, they don’t want anything getting in the way of getting it because, if for no other reason, it doesn’t feel the same and what you’re not feeling can impact one’s ability to derive pleasure from getting and giving head. Science stuff again.

Still, if you want to be the best cocksucker you can be, um, suck cock. Often. Use condoms or oral dams with the ladies. Do not ever fail to use these protections but let’s face it – not everyone is going to be that dedicated all of the time. Hah, methinks there’s nothing more embarrassing than a guy pulling out his wallet… and there’s an imprint of the condom he’s stored in there… and that’s actually a very bad place to keep one. Or, if a guy knows not to keep one in his wallet, going into a pocket for something… and a condom package falls out. I understand that 100% compliance to condom usage gets to be… difficult in spontaneous moments but there’s also that thing that is kinda head-scratching in that we’ll use condoms for fucking but not for sucking. Common sense suggests that if you use them for one thing, you use them for everything… but, yeah, hmm, common sense does tend to get kicked to the curb when you’re seriously horny and the other person is and that has to be dealt with right now and calling a halt to things to run out and get a pack of condoms could have the effect of making the participants less horny or just kills the whole mood and vibe.

Yeah… sucking dick isn’t as “easy” as it appears to be because, well, it isn’t. Some guys do practice their cocksucking with dildoes. Nothing wrong with that. It’s safe and provided the dildo is only used for that purpose… but, it’s not the same as sucking the real thing. Why? Zero feedback. There are a lot of amazing dildoes on the market, but I’ve not heard of one that can tell you, “Yeah, right there! Do that again!” Dildoes are… static but sucking a guy’s dick isn’t because from beginning to end, it’s going through changes as he builds up to his release and you can feel them and use them to gauge how you’re going to suck him and, of course, he’s going to be reacting to what you’re doing.

Your practice dildo is going to feel the same in your mouth. All of the time. Chances are that you’re not going to “abuse” your mouth and throat like a guy might when you blow him and it gets to feeling good to him; even him starting to “automatically” start fucking into your mouth is the kind of feedback that you can’t get from a dildo but is very much a part of getting to be good at sucking dick.

And if you’re not sucking dick, you’re not learning these things that I think are a necessity if you want to be good at it. And keep in mind that being good is subjective more than it is objective. I’ve given guys blowjobs that I felt was shitty and not to my standards… but homey’s singing my praises. Hmm. There is, in fact, only one real bad blowjob: It’s the one you don’t get or give. Everything else is eye of the beholder kind of stuff. Again, if you’re not sucking dick, you’re not learning any of this and while you can find out what it’s like for someone else, that’s them… and not you.

Is it overthinking? Some might say that it is, but I don’t think so because there isn’t a cocksucker I know of, male or female, that wants to be known as not being good at it and that includes me… and I didn’t get as “good” as I think I am at it by not sucking a lot of dicks and, yes, sometimes, failing to please. Ugh. You get… grounded in the sense that when you suck a lot of dick, you realize that you can only do the best you can do and maybe you’ll also find out something I learned: Guys don’t know how to get their dick sucked. But even this plays into being the best cocksucker you can be: Attention to detail. Making this something you don’t have to think about doing; looking at a guy’s dick for the first time and before your mouth even makes contact with it, you already know what you’re going to do to it and that’s also based on the feedback coming from him and, yes, his assessment on whether or not you sucked him good or not.

And just because you got him to cum doesn’t necessarily mean you did a “good job.” That’s because of whatever was going on with him more than anything you did or didn’t do; kinda embarrasing for me to think about the many times a guy has sucked me, I’ve cum and… bleh. Then realizing that he didn’t do any thing wrong but I did… because my mind was “somewhere else” or something else was bothering me that became a distraction. Ah, but if you suck a lot of dick – and get yours sucked a lot – you learn how something like this also plays into the determination of things being good or “bad.”

Finally, there’s the… focal point: Who are you trying to please in doing this and being deemed as good – yourself… or the other guy? Even more stuff to consider when you’re contemplating how to be a good cocksucker. Most of the forum members who suck dick say that they want to make it good for the other guy and that’s all well and good but one of the things I learned – and, yep, the hard way – is that if you’re not going to make doing it good for yourself, why are you sucking dick? Yeah, I know it’s me and I’ve said it too many times before: When I give head, I’m selfish. I’m not really trying to make it good for them but that’s because I know that if I’m not having one hell of a good time doing it, it’s not going to be all that good for them. Well, um, sometimes, it is but that’s not my perception of things. I just learned that it’s not enough to just “go out of my way” to make it good for them if I’m not making it good for myself and in the doing. Having to learn how to go from not even thinking about it to being 100% into it “in an instant.”

Because I love giving head. Turns me on like nothing else does. I’m very much into the details and the science of it. I learned to be the best I can be at it… because it’s no fun not being the best I can be and if I’m not, fuck… they’re not going to let me go down on them again unless I can “prove” that I can do better at pleasing them and, importantly, myself. Yeah, sometimes, I’ve given head and have been told it wasn’t all that or whatever… and I’ve been of a mind that, yeah, sorry about that… but I got to give you head and I had fun doing it even if you didn’t so much. I just get like that sometimes, but I do try not to be…

Because I want to be good at it. I got to be “good” at it because I’ve sucked a lot of dicks and because of something I was taught and learned that had nothing to do with sex. I’m a musician and one of the first things I was taught was that practice makes perfect. It just stood to reason that I had to practice both long and often in order to be the best I could be playing an instrument. Practice is… boring. Repetitive. Frustrating when you don’t quite “get it right” but in order to be able to “get it right,” you keep practicing and at every opportunity that becomes available.

Pretty much the same common sensical thing involved when wanting to be good at sucking dick – you keep sucking dicks. You work toward there being not a whole lot of obstacles getting in the way of being able to practice and master cocksucking. And with the understanding that you’re not always going to get it “right” for yourself or whomever you’re giving head to. But you keep at it anyway. And when you think you’re good at it? You try to be better at it. Because if you’re not trying to do this, why do you want to suck dick?

It’s not all about technique. It’s the desire to suck dick; it’s getting it into your head to not only do it but to strive to be the best you can be at it… but that’s not going to happen if you don’t suck dick. A lot of dicks. Jesus… I’ve sucked hundreds of dicks; I’m not kidding when I say that I lost count of the number of dicks I’ve sucked back in 1978. Don’t even ask me how many pussies I’ve eaten but the mindset is the same: You don’t get good at something by not doing it as often as you can even if “good” is subjective.

Easy, right? Yeah, not really, huh? With guys who have sucked a dick for the first time – and mine specifically – one of their worries is not being good at it. I don’t expect them to be because it’s unrealistic. I’ll tell them not to worry about that – just do the best you can figure out how to do and if you do something wrong, I’ll let you know and even nicely because I don’t want to put a whole lot of pressure on you to be a master cocksucker right out of the gate. Put your worries and fears aside and it sounds funny but don’t think too much about doing it – just let your feelings guide you. Weirdly, it’s okay to be told that you didn’t do it right for them… and not okay at all. Now the trick is to not let negative criticism fuck with your head but allow it to motivate you to be better the next time even if it’s not with the person who gave you a bad grade the last time.

How do you get good at sucking dick? You suck dick. You learn some stuff. You practice, practice, practice and have fun practicing. I tell Cityman this almost all of the time; he’s still worried about not being good at sucking dick and I tell him that to be good at it, suck more dick. It’s taken a lot to get him to set his fears aside and while he’s not totally fearless yet, he keeps being a better cocksucker because he wants to be and he’s learning… stuff about what it takes to be good at it. You have to want to be good at it; you have to be able to find, embrace, and revel in the pleasure that can be felt in the doing – and no matter how the other person may or may not be reacting because, again, if you’re not having a field day giving them head, chances are good they’re not going to enjoy it either.

Easy, right? This isn’t theory – this is what I learned by doing. A lot. Because I not only love giving head, but I do want to be remembered as being not only as good at it but damned good at it. An unrealistic goal? Of course, it is but the only unreachable or unrealistic goal is the one you never attempt to reach for. And trying to get there is… fun.

Those of you who give head knows what I’m talking about and for those who don’t, maybe you’ve learned some stuff about it that might encourage you to give it a try…

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Posted by on 26 April 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 19 April 22

Those of us who suck cock also has a “fascination” for cum. You might be thinking, “Duh…” but bear with me for a few as I empty my head out about this. Let’s take a trip back to the past…

The gang seemed to find out the joys of sucking dick at about the same time. It took a bit of convincing to get girls to do it – okay, a lot of convincing – but those who were convinced took to it rather nicely albeit with an ulterior motive: If they sucked a guy’s dick, her virginity could be preserved. Cool. Among us guys, we were more excited about this revelation since, well, you know why. Some of us would get a very bad case of the giggles before, during, and after sucking on a friend’s dick, making him have that “good feeling” over and over until both participants literally got tired from do it to each other.

A guy’s prick in your mouth felt weird but very good. Even better when you could feel him get hard in your mouth and better still when he’d start to hump your mouth. We were deep into this and it was no secret that we couldn’t wait to start shooting the “baby-making” stuff that we’d been hearing about. I was able to do that first among us and while the Hot in the Ass Girls would wind up being… iffy about wanting me to shoot it in their mouth – and would prefer it to be shot elsewhere – among the fellas?

It was the holy grail of things. Many of the guys wanted to suck my dick so I could shoot my stuff into their mouth and with, ah, let’s say, mixed results. There was more spitting than swallowing but it also seemed that once one of us professed to swallowing the stuff, you had to be some kind of chicken not to follow suit and whether the taste agreed with you or not. Add on the fact that we’d entered into a period where girls would suck our dick but we’d be warned to not shoot that stuff in their mouth and, as you might imagine, some guys promised not to… and did it anyway and some thought it was funny.

What those assholes didn’t know was that because they did this, they made sure that girls wouldn’t suck our dick and they sure as hell wasn’t going to allow us to shoot in their mouth. But, um, that was kinda okay… because we were very hyped to suck each other and get that warm, thick, sticky stuff that tasted good – and sometimes not that good – in our mouth. It would be a rarity for one of us to request that it not be shot into our mouth and the one gay guy in our tribe? Today, I give him some very major props because one of his favorite pasttimes was to line a bunch of us up and suck us all off… two or three times and as a guy could manage without passing out from the sheer sensory overload and very physical drain.

While it was fun to suck a guy who wasn’t yet shooting the stuff, it was just so much better to do it to a guy who was. Over time, the giggling and laughing we used to do about it faded away because getting your dick sucked and being able to shoot in a guy’s mouth was not only serious but a thing that even some of the Hot in the Ass Girls weren’t of a mind to do.

Some of them told me that they’d rather have me shoot it in their kitty or their hiney than to shoot it in their mouth. Others would be “okay” with it… as long as I kissed and licked and sucked on their kitty and for as long as they wanted me to… which was fine with me because if they didn’t do it, there was always a guy who would suck me because they wanted it in their mouth and whether they swallowed it or spit it out.

At some point, the newness of being able to shoot spunk kinda wore off and it was pretty much a given that if you sucked a guy’s prick, he was going to shoot spunk, jizz, or cream into your mouth and saying that you didn’t want him to do that meant that you wanted him to put it in your butt… most of the time but, eh, given that we had very short refractory periods (which I’d learn about much later on), you could get a load of it in your mouth, then in your butt and, after some serious cleaning, in your mouth again.

Good stuff. With girls, if you weren’t shooting the stuff, they didn’t want to be bothered with you all that much and the only way you’d get to shoot it in a girl’s mouth was if you were really boyfriend and girlfriend and she really liked you. Otherwise, it was well-known that if you wanted to have your dick sucked so you could shoot, just find one of the many guys who were very much onboard with it.

A guy would roll up on me and ask, “Can you shoot?” and I’d say that I could… and off we’d go to spend as much time as we could get away with cumming in each other’s mouth or until neither of us could get hard again – whichever came first (and the pun is intended). Time continues to march forward and the number of guys craving a mouthful of spunk was starting to decline due to a greater interest in having sex with girls – and girls who were beginning to be of a mind to avoid having sex and for various reasons.

Just the way things went. Admittedly, we didn’t much like being cock-teased by some chick and find ourselves hard, horny, and with our balls aching because, well, that’s just some shit a lot of girls were doing. But we also knew that there were guys who wouldn’t be even thinking about being a cock-tease because they wanted the dick in their mouth, ass, or both – you just had to find one of those guys. The effeminately gay guys would be out in droves and looking for dicks to suck and cum to swallow which, on the one hand, was fine but, on the other, yeah, not really since a lot of them were members of the Kiss and Tell Club and a lot of guys started avoiding them because the word would be put out there that homeboy was really gay.

I’d run into guys who had never been sucked off, couldn’t “pay” a girl to do it and asking what it’s like to get sucked off by a guy and I’d be more than happy to let him find out what it was like to not only get sucked off by a guy but to suck a guy off as well. Even when we got into the “period of time” where guys were walking away from having sex with other guys – because that was gay and gay was the worst thing a guy could be – a lot of guys continued to have the need and fascination over getting or giving another guy his cum… because it just wasn’t any fun or satisfying to “take the risk” of being called out as gay if no sperm was involved.

I knew girls who were cum sluts; I knew there were more guys who were cum sluts than there were girls who were and, yes, I was one of those guys but even I had gotten to a point where, before, I went out of my way to let guys know that they could cum in my mouth to not advertising that so much. As I look back at those days, yeah – gay dudes didn’t do us any favors because many of them were running around and proudly – and very loudly – telling one and all that they sucked dick and swallowed cum. Sometimes that didn’t go well for them, but it still hurt us guys who sucked dick but weren’t gay because everyone knew that if you were a guy and you sucked dick, that meant you were gay.

Despite this, there was always a guy who knew he could bust a nut in a guy’s mouth and, sometimes, he didn’t have to return the favor; there was always a guy who wanted to know what it was like, what it felt and tasted like to suck a dick and get that mouthful of cum. And there was always a guy like me who was just as ready and eager to suck a dick and get that cum as I was getting the chance to apply my cocksucking skills to eating pussy and vice-versa.

It just was not fun to suck a guy’s dick and he didn’t or couldn’t cum in my mouth. A lot of other guys like me felt the same way. We’d all learned, somewhere along the line, that dicks could be sucked at any time and anywhere and it usually didn’t take a long time to suck a guy off and if there was time, you could suck each other off a second time and depending on where this all went down. Spending the night with a guy was “tailor-made” for night-long cocksucking sessions and more so when we’d learn how to not make a lot of noise doing it and unlike fucking, the only evidence of any “wrongdoing” came with getting a whiff of morning mouth that smelled and tasted like dick and cum… and no one was even interested in letting someone smell their breath.

Unless the guy in question had been eating pussy… and I have no idea what was up with that other than the word on the street was that guys didn’t eat pussy which was a lie for the most part. Even though a guy whose breath smelled like dick could catch a bad break and get tagged as being gay, the fascination with cocksucking and getting one’s mouth creamed was still a thing even when it was forced underground.

Even into my adult years, there was always a guy who wanted to know what it was like to be sucked off by a guy or what it was like to suck a guy off and taste his cum. Always. And there was always a guy on the prowl for any dude who’d be willing to blow him. Gay dudes were being… less demonstrative about their eagerness to get their mouth on a dick and were advertising this eagerness less because they knew they were taking a huge risk of hitting on the wrong guy and getting beaten and, sometimes, brutally so. Indeed, some gay guy avoided guys like me like the plague and I’d learn that, most of the time, it was because they’d be romantically interested in a guy and homey wasn’t feeling any of that; or they’d find out that we were having sex with girls and many of them saw girls as competition and for one of them to find out that I spent most of my time with my dick in a girl’s pussy, well, yeah – you haven’t lived until you have a gay dude cuss you out because you’re not gay like they are.

But the fascination over cocksucking and swallowing cum was still very much at work. A lot of guys I’d come across would be afraid of cum. Really and seriously. It being an acquired taste was always a known thing but I felt that there were a lot of women – and quite a few guys – who was putting it out there how totally nasty cum tasted, it would make guys who were curious about it very damned leery. I even remember jerking off for a guy and licking my fingers clean of my own cum to “prove” to him that my stuff didn’t taste as bad as he was assuming it would; if I did that and knowing that my stuff didn’t taste good, well, I wouldn’t have done it to begin with. I would get into the science of why cum tastes the way it could but that aside, I would find it rough to be sitting with a guy who very much wanted to “acquire the taste” but was just too afraid to because they heard that it tasted very bad.

I’d run into a lot of guys who would want to suck my dick… as long as I didn’t “bust a nut in their head.” They never acquired the taste or, like so many, they believed the hype that it just flat-out tasted nasty. I mean, I really didn’t have issue with swallowing cum because, duh, if homey’s shit tasted nasty, I’d just spit it out when he was done or just let it “dribble” out of my mouth as to not be “bothered” with however badly that first spurt tasted.

It was “easier” to get a guy to suck your dick than it was to get him to swallow your cum… but there were also a great many male cum sluts around and not all of them were gay and there were “a lot” of gay guys who wouldn’t suck a guy off because they learned – and like women had learned – that once a guy busts a nut, if you were looking to get fucked, well, that wasn’t going to happen. A great many guys – and myself included – got “conditioned” by women to not even think about cumming in their mouth; it had the effect of me running into guys who were 100% sure that they couldn’t cum via getting their dick sucked – but they’d want me or some other guy to blow them – and, whew: Those guys could seriously bust a nut! One of the underlying and remaining things from my youth was that if you sucked a guy’s dick and got him off, he was “obligated” to return the favor but, during this period of time, there were too many guys who’d want their dick sucked but weren’t going to suck dick in return… and then they would but only if the guy they sucked would cum in their mouth.

What we knew was that if you couldn’t get a woman to suck you off, a guy would. I would come to understand that this little fact was the basis of guys saying that men sucked cock better than women; it wasn’t that women weren’t master cocksuckers because they could be… but they didn’t want the guy’s cum in their mouth because it belonged in their pussy. In a way, women were indirectly responsible for me being able to suck a lot of dicks and consume a lot of cum and more so when I was running into a lot of guys my age – in the 30-40 range – who wanted to know what it was like to suck cock and get a mouthful of cum. For a lot of them, they wanted to know because, as it would often be revealed, they’d ask a woman or their woman what it was like to suck dick and her saying, “Because it feels good” wasn’t a “good enough” answer so they wanted to find out for themselves and with the understanding that if they sucked a guy’s dick, he was also going to find out if cum really was an acquired taste.

And a lot of the men I’d encounter wanted to know what it tasted like more than I did – and I had acquired the taste a long time ago. On the forum, a question was asked about whether or not the thrill of sucking cock was about doing it or it came when the guy unloaded into your mouth… and the number of guys responding that it was all about feeling homeboy pumping away in their mouth; I had noted the number of guys who have yet to have this experience talk about how badly they wanted to suck cock… so they could taste and consume another man’s seed.

Even in 2022, the fascination remains firmly in place. I run out of toes and fingers when counting the number of times I’ve sucked a guy’s dick… and he didn’t or couldn’t cum. His fault or mine. It just didn’t happen. Both of us totally bummed out about that. Reading what the forum members say about this not happening and not including the members who are “token cocksuckers” because they want that dick – and the cum – in their ass. It’s just that, today, dudes are seriously funny about getting that mouthful and more so than it was when HIV showed up in the 1980s. There was, expectedly, a great decline in dicks getting sucked… until the CDC wrote a report that said that, even then, they was a very small chance of catch HIV via oral sex and had stated the conditions under which it could be possible.

I’d run into guys who loved to suck dick, would take my cum in my mouth but would say that they never liked the taste or feel of it in their mouth and it confused me: Why would you suck a guy off when you knew you didn’t like the taste/feel of cum? What I’d learn was that it was an expectation or perceived to be one. You were just “some kind of fucked up” to be a cocksucker who didn’t swallow and if you didn’t, you could be almost guaranteed that you wouldn’t be sucking dick as much as you wanted and/or needed to do. So, yeah – a lot of guys swallowed because they were expected to.

And you really haven’t lived until you’ve had a guy swallow your cum… then throw it all back up and, usually, all over you. I asked such a guy who barfed all over me why he swallowed it when he knew it was going to make him barf and I was “stunned” to hear him say that he did it because he knew/assumed that I wanted him to and even that he had to. It took “a while” but I was understanding this and a lot of it had to do with the fact that there were a lot of women who wouldn’t suck a guy off even if she had to in order to save her life… but there was always a guy who would and do it without complaining about it.

Sucking and swallowing became… mandatory among men. That got… messy but at the same time, there were more and more men wanting to cum in a guy’s mouth and to get some cum in theirs. I didn’t recognize “submissive male cocksuckers” or saw them as such… but I had more than my “fair share” of guys who wanted to suck me off but weren’t of a mind to have the favor returned. I would, all along the way, ponder just what it was about having a guy bust a nut in your mouth that was still so utterly fascinating and even to guys who weren’t cocksuckers… but now, they very much wanted to be so that they could consume another man’s cum.

I would learn that in some cultures, partaking of a man’s cum was a rite of passage into manhood; I would learn that, in some cultures, there’s some spirituality behind doing this forbidden thing. I didn’t discount it all that much and more so when, sometimes, even I felt like I was having a “religious experience” when a guy started to pump his cum into my mouth and taking every available drop of it. I was very much aware that I had a bias toward this and that it was clouding my perception of this; if I was going to suck your dick, I’m getting that cum and no matter how long it took to get it or what I had to do to get it, up to and including invading a guy’s butt so I could give his prostate “da finger.”

That was me. Didn’t explain why there were still a lot of men who were utterly fascinated about another man’s cum. Indeed, there were times when I sucked a guy to the edge of the abyss and stop sucking him so I could jerk him off… so I could watch him cum then get after it at that point or just leave it alone. I would learn and somewhat understand how and why some guys would actually get mad at me if they couldn’t get me to cum or, yeah, if it took me “too long” to cum. I would learn how very personally some guys would take this; you couldn’t explain to them that you didn’t cum because of being overly sensitized and overstimulated or, sometimes, not stimulated enough and, nope, it wasn’t always the other guy’s fault. Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen and no matter how much both guys want it to.

I’ve had guys tell me before the fact that if I don’t cum in their mouth, we’re going to have issues. I understood this because I felt the same way, but it was something new to me to have a guy say this. Upon further review of my own behavior, I could see how unhappy I’d be to have spent x-amount of time sucking a guy’s dick and not get his cum. I would see how I’d reject a guy because, okay, he wanted his dick sucked… but he’d want to give me a facial or otherwise not unload it into my mouth and as I wanted him to… and getting a lesson in how sucking a guy’s dick ain’t always about what I want him to do.

Women. I know I’ve mentioned it before but the “ultimate” test for male cocksuckers is trying to get women to understand why we’d do something that has always been seen as something they own outright. I’ve had them get mad at me because I’d be blunt and say that a lot of guys suck dick because women are just too weird about it and get even more pissed when I tell them what I know about them being weird about it but, yeah, they have reason to… and I know a lot of those reasons because I’ve been subjected to some of the same bullshit they have.

Yep. Try explaining this one. What I learned not to do was to tell a woman that I suck guys off… because it’s “very well known” that women won’t. Yes, I know that not all that true, but it is yet another lesson and example of how perception trumps the truth every time. I have never been with a guy who said they didn’t feel like sucking dick and if I’ve never felt like doing it, you could bet that there was something wrong with me like having a cold and, yeah, maybe even having a headache. Otherwise, the dick is getting sucked and his cum will be consumed… or I’m not going to be happy at all.

And I’m not the only male cocksucker who feels this way. That fascination wore off of me a long time ago and I’m just of a mind that if I suck a dick, getting the cum is just a part of it but I think that I’ve “paid enough dues” to let a guy know that if you’re not going to cum in my mouth, I’m not sucking your dick. I would watch my protege go through being “hilariously weird” about cumming in a guy’s mouth or, gasp, homeboy cumming in his. The taboo nature of it fucks with a lot of guys and, yeah, it remains as some “gay-assed shit” that some guys just can’t get their head around even though they know that (a) they want to be sucked, (b) they want to do some sucking and (c) they very much know what’s going to happen if they suck a guy long enough or in just the right way.

I’m sitting here and thinking about that clip I saw a while ago where a guy was happily sucking dick and you could tell when homey busted a nut because the guys sucking him had this surprised look on his face as well as having chipmunk cheeks that really puffed out. I saw the clip and almost hurt myself laughing and thinking, “Did he not know what was going to happen?”

And then remembering seeing guys get that same look on their face when I’ve cum in their mouth – and I told them I was about to – and they didn’t stop. Seriously, one guy who got surprised actually said that he didn’t think I was going to cum and I remember asking him if he remembered me telling him that I was going to cum and now was the time for him to stop… and he said he did but still got surprised – and with chipmunk cheeks – just the same. He was okay and had said, “I’ve always wanted to know what this was like… and now I know. Can we go again?”

In the community of male cocksuckers, we recognize how addictive it is to suck dick and that it’s not a lot of fun to put forth the effort it takes to get a guy to cum… and he doesn’t give it up. We understand how… fascinating it is to have a guy unloading his balls into our mouth, to sample and even savor the taste and consistency of his cum and I’m not joking when I say a lot of guys refer to taking a guy’s cum like it’s the nectar of the gods. It’s one thing to sit and wonder what it’s like; it’s one thing to watch porn and see dicks being sucked and cum spewed wherever it’s “slated” to go. It’s not uncommon for a guy to ask a gal what it’s like for her to (a) suck dick and (b) get cum in their mouth and some guys get even more curious and fascinated when she can’t really tell him what it’s like but you can bet anything you want to that if she didn’t like doing it, she wouldn’t do it…

But there are always guys who will. Not all of them are gay. There remains a kind of mystique surrounding guys who suck cock and swallow sperm and if you don’t swallow, well, what the hell is wrong with you? The expectation remains firmly in place and like it’s a given. We even base and determine how good a blowjob is on whether or not the guy being blown cums and if he didn’t, the blowjob was bad and even very bad. A forum member asked why it’s so important to (a) cum in a guy’s mouth and/or (b) swallow a guy’s nut… and it’s a question that I can’t answer even though I know what it means to me. The guys who get my attention the most are the ones who want to suck cock and swallow sperm… and they’ve yet to do it. They’re both totally fascinated and afraid at the same time and I’ve seen a lot of reasons given for their fear and reluctance to do the one thing they know they want to do.

Big sigh. There are a lot of people who can’t seem to understand why men – and men who are not gay – suck cock and swallow sperm or what’s so damned fascinating about it. You can see how I’ve written a lot of stuff trying to convey what I know and understand about it… and there’s no easy way to really explain it outside of, “It makes me feel good!” or those guys who are professed cum sluts and insist that their whole purpose in life is to pleasure other men with their mouths and derive so much pleasure from giving him this forbidden pleasure. Again, it’s one thing to know that guys do this; it’s one thing to watch porn and see guys on the receiving end of a load of spunk although, as far as this one goes, it makes me roll my eyes so hard that my head hurts to see a clip of a guy sucking a dick and then the guy being sucked snatched the dick away and jerks off… and while homey is staring up at him with this look on his face and with his mouth wide open and, man, that just pisses me off and more so when it seems like there are a lot of guys who see this crap and believe that this is what it means to suck dick and when you do, getting it in your face or anywhere other than directly into your mouth is the way to suck dick.

Like I told Cityman when we were talking about this, I wouldn’t want to be him if I sucked his dick and he decided to give me a facial because, well, I really don’t know why guys want to do that but what I do know that I will be beyond pissed off and, yes, there was a time when I’d get so pissed that I’d get violent about it. To me, it’s disrespectful and too much like having someone spit in my face and I didn’t spend all this time to entice you to cum and not get it in my mouth so I can swallow it. The fascination with cum remains in force with a growing number of men and, I think, not “totally” because of women not being fans of getting a mouthful of cum.

Some guys are very eager these days to find out what it’s like to suck cock and acquire the taste. There’s the fascination we have but I also think it’s guys understanding that it’s really not a bad reflection on them to want to suck cock and swallow sperm even though there are still a lot of people who’d frown at any man who’d even think about doing such a thing. If they do, they must be gay… and they’re not really trying to hear that you do not have to be gay to (a) want to suck a guy’s dick, (b) be sucked by a guy and, for real, (c) take cum in your mouth and swallow it. Indeed, some guys get… inventive about swallowing it and there are a lot of guys on the forum who would give anything to be able to taste and swallow their own cum.

I very much remember wondering what my stuff tasted like… and to this very day, I have no idea why I wanted to know this. I mean, I knew what other guys’ stuff tasted like so I guess – and I could be wrong – that it’s just “normal” to wonder what your stuff tasted like. I remember lying in bed and jerking the shit out of my dick so I could cum and find out if my stuff really tasted as good as others had said it did. It took a while before I could cum and that was because being so… eager to do this wasn’t allowing me to relax and once I realized this and relaxed, I came, looked at it all over my hand and fingers and just started licking it off and, hmm, okay, my stuff tastes pretty good! I would figure out how to suck my own dick – and it was pretty painful learning how to do that – just so I could find out what it was like to feel my own dick pumping away inside my mouth… and it’s almost indescribable.

It feels familiar and weird at the same time. I know what it’s like to suck dick and have cum blasting into my mouth and I know what it’s like to be sucked and cumming in someone’s mouth but, yeah, something very different to feel these very familiar things at the same time. I thought that I was the only guy who was fascinated with this… then I found that I wasn’t. There are men today who want to suck themselves off and that only tells me that the fascination with cum is still very much alive… but I can’t definitively say why this fascinates us so much other than acknowledging that it does.

One just has to be… adventurous enough to want to find out what it’s like. You’re either going to “acquire the taste” or you won’t. Having me tell you what that’s like for me might be helpful but it really isn’t because, um, it’s me and not you and there’s only one way to find out if sucking cock and getting a mouthful of cum is as fascinating as you think it is. Cityman likes to say that all men should suck dick and I sometimes laugh, not because I don’t disagree with what he said but because I know that there are guys who are, in fact, very fascinated… but can’t bring themselves to find out what it’s like.

Cocksucking and cum swallowing isn’t for everyone. Just the way it is and as it’s always been. There are gay men who don’t suck dick and there are some who will but do not swallow… and so much for that being the truth a lot of people believe it to be. Still, I remain… fascinated over how this still fascinates a lot of men. How it’s so fascinating and scary as fuck all in one package and my thoughts that it’s the unknown quality of this more than being afraid of turning into a gay man or, as some guys assume, catching every STD known to man in their mouth and are of a mind that this will happen to them if they give into the fascination and curiosity that is part and parcel of men sucking each other off.

There. My head (not even a pun) is now emptied of this…

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Posted by on 19 April 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 01 April 22

A post on the forum took me back to one of the most bothersome things I’ve had to deal with as a male bisexual:

Trying to explain to someone why I like to suck dick. The moment I saw this posting, I could feel my face shifting to get that look on it and my head started to hurt. You know, it’s not that people asking me this that bothers me the most: It’s that they don’t always seem to understand what I’m telling them and beginning with telling them that, no, I am not gay and not all men who suck dick are gay.

To them, it’s something that doesn’t make sense but y’all already know what I’ve said about why it doesn’t. Once again, we see where belief trumps the reality of things. If you ask me why and I give the simple answer of, “I love doing it…” well, what else do you need to know and why doesn’t this compute with you? Sometimes, such a simple answer isn’t good enough; there has to be more to it than this and while there really is a more detailed reason why, I really have learned to not like getting into it with someone who I can almost be very certain that they won’t understand it.

Intelligently, they do. That’s not the part that makes them not understand. I’ve had more problems explaining this to women than I have men and don’t get me wrong – it’s not a “no-brainer” trying to explain it to a guy because I have learned that what will keep them from understanding it is all about what they don’t believe in and what they wouldn’t do.

Which, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with me and the fact that, yes, I’m a cocksucker. So what? It has always amazed me – and not in a good way – to see how people react to this information which is also why I tell people to never ask me questions they don’t really want to know the answer to, oh, like, why do you suck cock? Are you gay? Fuck no. I sucked a dick for the first time a long time ago and I found it very much to my liking and I found no reason to stop doing something that I found to be enjoyable and satisfying. I do it because I can – what else do you really need to know?

I’ve gotten into this conversation with other men and, yeah, they are funny. Some get that disgusted look on their face and, yep, make it clear that they wouldn’t do it or would ever want a guy to do it to them. Not my problem and it’s not germane to the question they asked me… but I’ve gotten used to having such discussion go from being about me to being about them. Some guys are genuinely curious about it so asking me why I like doing it has lent itself to them ending their curiosity, sometimes with me, sometimes with some other guy.

Some guys are… sneaky. They think they’re slick. They want a guy to blow them and, as I’ve mentioned before, get to tap-dancing all over the place to, first, find out if I suck dick and, second, to ask if I’d blow them. The moment I say that I suck dick because I like doing it, I have learned to anticipate the next question: “Um, so, uh, if I asked you to suck my dick, would you?”

Most of the time the answer is yes, you know, now that you’ve got me thinking about it and getting all nice and horny. I’ve said no, too, either because my gut is telling me that it’d be a bad thing to do with this guy or by asking me this – and not understanding any of what I might say – now I’m pissed the fuck off and I wouldn’t suck his dick even if it would save his life.

He’s gonna be one “dead” motherfucker. Why? Because I get sick and tired of trying to explain something to someone that I’ve learned they’re not really going to understand… because it’s something they wouldn’t do. Their belief just shuts down their intelligence.

Women are worst. The worst. Now, you’d think that if a woman sucks dick, she’d understand why a guy would… and you’d be wrong and, let’s say, in the majority of times because some women do understand it and whether they have a problem with male cocksucker or not is a different thing. I’ve told women that if they know why they like do it, they know why I do. Duh. But it doesn’t compute for some women. I’ve had many women tell me that it’s a woman’s thing to do and, okay, I get that… but you do know that women aren’t the only one’s who suck dick, don’t you? Yes, it’s usually gay dudes but, once again, I’m not gay. I’m bi. That, as it has turned out, just confuses them even more even though – and, again, intelligently – they do understand what I’m telling them…

And not so much. Don’t I know that dudes ain’t supposed to do this? Yes, I do, and your point is… what? See, this is the point where things get… aggravating. What someone thinks about this versus the reality of me telling them that, yes, I suck dick. I even swallow cum because, yes, I acquired the taste. That and I’d rather swallow it than wear it. What else do you really need to know? You can keep asking me why this and why that and at some point, my patience will wear out and that’s not going to be a good thing but, at the least, I’ll say, “I don’t know what else I could possibly say that will answer the question in a way that’ll satisfy you.” At the worst, well, okay – let’s not go there. It might not be civil or pretty or kind in any way.

Or I just might suggest that if you’re a dude and you really want to know why I suck dick, go suck a dick and find out for yourself… and stop bothering me by asking a question you clearly don’t want to understand.

I do remember the first time I got asked this and the shitstorm I had to wade through and all because I was doing something that the other person – a guy – didn’t believe in. I had to be a faggot. Nothing I said to defend myself – and I had had to defend myself – made a difference to him because, as I would learn, he had already made up his mind that I was some kind of fucked up faggot and, as I would learn, because that’s the way he was made to think.

And just like a lot of people are. You get tired of hearing, “You don’t look like the type!” and understanding that “the type” means that I don’t look like I’m gay. Well, you’re right about that – I’m not… but I do love to suck dick. I get that being bisexual confuses some folks because people are either straight or gay and, believe me, this nonsense has been around way before now and way before I was born.

The problem comes in trying to disabuse someone of what they believe. The problem comes when this thing about me becomes a thing about them and what they wouldn’t do or, with women, jeez, I don’t know pretend to understand why this is such a huge disconnect for them other than what they, too, believe or, in this case, what they don’t believe.

I wish that you could have seen and heard how people who’ve asked me this question have behaved. From being horrified and offended to being, “Oh, okay.” about it. More the former than the latter, though. See, this is the part of the program where I say that gay men haven’t done bi men any favors when it comes to trying to answer the question: If you’re not gay, why do you suck dick?

I wish that you can see the look I have on my face right now. The answer of, “Um, because I can and I like doing it…” rarely seems to click in the minds of the many people who have made me cray-cray trying to explain this to. It’s simple. Self-explanatory. Some people get it. Most people don’t… but they know that there are men who suck dick. If I tell you that I’m not gay, well, believe it: I’m not. And, please, don’t ask me to prove that I’m not… because I’m sure you won’t like how I can do that… or maybe you would. Who knows? See, we talk about bisexual acceptance at the social level of things but we don’t do jack shit about accepting that there are men in the world who suck cock and they are not gay.

And all because we continue to believe some shit that religion preaches more than we can accept that it’s not the reality of things. Like one guy telling me that I was going to hell and me telling him that maybe I would… but I wouldn’t be the only one there so I’d be in good company. That really annoying – but completely understandable – part where it’s all about what they wouldn’t do and all that. The guys who have said that they didn’t think they could kinda get a pass because they have thought about it in some way and for some reason but the notion of putting your mouth around another guy’s prick is… alien. Watching porn will show you what it looks like but it’s not the same thing – and I think a lot of guys kinda innately understand that it isn’t.

I have found it… interesting to wind up sucking a guy who, before the fact, gave me a raft of questions about being a cocksucker, and get surprised when he starts sucking my dick. Well, what the fuck just happened? In talking to the guys who have done this – and when they said they wouldn’t or didn’t think they could, they have almost all said, “It seemed like the right thing to do.”

And I’ll be damned if I know why. Or I’ve given a guy a delicious blow job and then he tells me that he had wanted to suck my dick, too, well, until he busted a nut and all of that just went away. I’m a guy. I love the shit out of women and having sex with them is da shit. But I like to have sex with men and I definitely love sucking their dicks more than I do fucking. No, I don’t like men like that – which is code for liking men like I do women… because I know I don’t but with one exception. I am not gay. I am bisexual and have been for a very, very long time.

What part of this is so hard to understand and, importantly, accept? It’s sex and I do love having sex. I’m sure that I can explain quantum entanglement (a physics thing) better than I can explain why I suck cock. My problem with all of this is having people not really accepting the simple answer to their question. That I suck dick doesn’t make me a bad person, well, outside of it being immoral and taboo. It hurts to have people turn their back on me but I’ve learned to not be all that hurt and even say, “We were cool… until this came up…” I’ve had to listen to people telling me how betrayed they feel and all that stuff and I get it: You just found out something about me that you didn’t know and I didn’t bother to say anything about it – until you brought this shit up – because for the very reason why you’re feeling the way you are… because I knew you would. And I do get tired of listening to it. I’ve heard it all of my life. What you asked wasn’t about you… but now it’s all about you. What you don’t believe. What you won’t do. How hurt and betrayed you’re feelings. Oh, the agony!

I suck dick because I can and I love to do it. I am, again and again, not gay. That’s too boring for me – no offense meant, gay folks and know that I feel the same way about just being straight. I love the way I am and part of the way I am includes taking a guy’s dick, getting it hard, and using my mouth to make it soft again because he’s unloaded his cum into my mouth. It gives me great pleasure to do it. I understand it but the “mechanism” of it just doesn’t have words that can really explain it other than making me say, “It feels good.”

Those of you who suck cock knows what I’m talking about. Those of you who don’t, well, maybe you do but I have a long history of coming into contact with people who don’t know and their beliefs don’t seem to let their intelligence understand any of what I might say.

Because men aren’t supposed to suck each other’s dicks. Yet, we’ve been doing it all along. Disabusing that belief is a damned hard thing to do but, yeah, if you want to know why I suck dick, go suck a dick and find the answer for yourself. Otherwise, I really don’t know what else I can tell you about this.

I can’t wait to go back to the forum to see how others will answer this very annoying question…

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Posted by on 1 April 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 21 March 22

Motherfucker!” “Danny” yelped out just before he started shoving his dick in and out of my mouth and, a couple of seconds later, he said it again as he started shooting a lot of his hot, kinda spicy stuff into my mouth and if it was possible to grin with (a) a mouthful of dick and (b) a mouthful of jizz, I would have been smiling very broadly and more so when this was the second time in an hour that I’d gotten him to cuss and shoot his stuff into my mouth.

Unlike the first time I made him do it, this time, I seemed to be focused on the feelings of his dick pumping fast and strong and the long squirts that I didn’t have to see to know how much of his jizz was going into my mouth – again – and having to – again – swallow quickly or it would “back up” in my mouth, making it harder to swallow. In the real-time few seconds it took for Danny to finish shooting his stuff, I had the strangest experience.

I was remembering the first time I saw Danny shoot. We had been in his room and talking about girls and other stuff when he pulled his dick out and started playing with it, giving me a look that had me thinking that he was trying to shock me – which it didn’t – and he kinda shrugged and kept playing with his dick until it was hard. It was hard for me to sit there watching him and looking disinterested… because the moment I saw his dick, I was so interested that my mouth was watering.

“You can get your dick out and jerk off with me,” Danny had said and I had thought, “Why not?” and pulled my dick out; because I was looking right at him when I did, I saw the moment when his eyes got kinda big and I almost smiled to understand that there was a very good chance that Danny was like me.

Danny’s dick is soft in my mouth; it felt and tasted good as did the last little dribbles of his stuff tasted. I reluctantly let it fall out of my mouth… and still thinking about us sitting in his room and beating our meat, eyes locked onto each other and grinning like idiots until Danny cursed, his whole body started shaking – and a really long spurt of jizz flew out the head of his dick, went high into the air, and landed on the floor with a ‘plop’ that I’d heard. That first big shot was followed by three more big shots that also plopped onto the floor and I heard myself groan to see all that jizz on the floor and not in my mouth.

Which led to me meeting him at his house the next day and the moment I walked into his room and closed the door, he pulled out his dick and asked, “You want to suck this, don’t you?”

All I could do was nod (and keep from drooling all over myself).

“Good, because I want to suck your cock, too!” he said… and it was on after we literally flipped a coin to see who was going to suck dick first. I “lost” the toss and went over to him as he lay on his bed naked; I took my clothes off and got comfortable between his legs… and started sucking his dick. I immediately “fell in love” with how it felt in my mouth and how it tasted and I got lost in sucking him; it was making me feel really good when he started to fuck into my mouth and also started cussing which gave me the odd thought that he wasn’t good at cussing.

“Son of a bitch!” he cried out that first time and it was all I could to keep up with trying to swallow all of that jizz and thinking that he was shooting more of it today than yesterday. He pulled away from me quickly, shoved me onto my back and started sucking my dick, his head bobbing up and down really fast and sucking me pretty hard and hard enough for an “ow” to escape my lips. He heard it and released a lot of the suction he was applying and settled into slowly sucking and licking my dick until I felt that good and not-so-good feeling that said I was about to shoot my jizz.

“I’m gonna shoot!” I blurted out – I had learned that you had to tell the person sucking your dick that you were gonna shoot; otherwise, they’d get surprised by it and they did not like that kind of surprise. Danny didn’t stop and he did kinda nod that he heard me and a moment later, I shot my stuff into his mouth; I could hear him moaning; I could feel his tongue against my dick as it pumped and how his mouth was moving that told me that he was swallowing my jizz… but those thoughts were more like background noise as I writhed on his bed, fucking my dick into his mouth until I was done shooting and starting to get soft.

Do me again!” he said after letting my soft dick plop onto my leg. Man, I had a hard time moving to get between his legs again but one look at his dick – which was hard again – was motivation enough. I’d gotten between his legs and only then noticed that he didn’t have much hair – more like “peach fuzz” than anything else. He didn’t have big balls but they were nice and they felt good in my hand when I cupped them just before I lowered my mouth to the head of his dick. It was a nice size – not too big and not too small. The same went for his dick, too, and I could hear myself moaning as I got into sucking him and getting him to cuss and start fucking my mouth when I took all of him into my mouth.

Which lead to him yelling out, “Motherfucker!” and filling my mouth with his hot and spicy jizz and the “weird” moment where time seemed to slow down so I could pay attention to those strong pulses his dick was making so he could shoot all of that jizz into my mouth again.

I’d let him go and now we’re just… there. He hadn’t moved and neither had I; we were looking at each other and grinning when he said, “Wow, man, you are really good at doing this! I knew you were like me!”

I knew you were like me, too,” I said. “I don’t know how I knew, but I did and I’m glad that you like doing this and just like I do!”

Do you wanna fuck?” he asked.

“I don’t know if I can right now but let’s rest up a bit first – then we can fuck. Do you have some Vaseline?” I asked.

Yep!” he said and literally fell out of the bed and stumbled to his dresser; he was digging around in his second drawer for a moment before he said, “Aha!” and showed me his big jar of Vaseline and one that showed that, hmm, he must use a lot of it. I was thinking about my own jar of Vaseline that was hidden in my fourth drawer and under all of the “junk” I kept in that drawer.

Danny and I would get to fucking each other maybe a half and hour later. We flipped a coin again and I “lost” again but that was okay. He’d slathered a lot of sticky Vaseline between my butt cheeks as well as slipping a finger into my hole before climbing onto me and I gasped as his dick slid into me really fast and making me feel like I had to barf. I didn’t and when Danny had asked if I was okay, I told him that I was and he was to go ahead and fuck me. He did, too, alternating between going slow and fast; moaning and telling me how good his dick was feeling in my ass. I could feel his dick “trembling” inside me and experience had taught me that it wouldn’t be long before he’d shoot his jizz – cum – into me.

I remember squirming under him, pushing my ass back against him to encourage him to get deep into me so he could shoot his jizz in me. He had cussed again but I couldn’t make out what he had said and I do remember not really paying much attention to it because I could feel his dick swelling in my ass – then that first shot of jizz; I felt it in me and I groaned and moaned feeling his dick pumping strong and fast while being trapped deep in my ass.

Such a weirdly good feeling. Of course, this wasn’t the first time a guy had fucked me but the thing for me was how good it felt to feel Danny’s cock pumping hard and fast – that guy could really shoot a lot of cum. He pulled out of me – slowly – and the moment he was all the way out, I could feel his jizz starting to flow out of me and that, too, always felt weirdly good, well, it did if the guy shot a lot of cum into me; sometimes they did and it didn’t come oozing back out and like my body absorbed it or something or, more likely, my butthole just closed up after the guy pulled out and his cum was just in there… or something.

Getting all slathered up with Vaseline and sliding my dick into Danny felt good and “bad.” It was like something in my head didn’t want me doing this and would make me feel… queasy. Or “dirty.” Just kinda bad and it was something I was learning to not pay a lot of attention to. In the comparison of dick size, I was longer and fatter than Danny was and as I slid into him, he was letting me know how much I was filling him up and making it hurt really good, which was something that, at the time, I couldn’t quite make sense of but, yeah, I knew what he meant and what he was feeling.

He’s lying under me and muttering, “Fuck me…” over and over and doing so felt so good to me that I didn’t want to stop fucking him but I also knew what was going on with my body. Despite the slipperiness of the Vaseline, Danny’s hole was nice and tight and even a bit “too much” and I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I’d feel that great rush of feelings that would explode inside my head as my body pumped my jizz into him. I barely heard him saying, “Give me all of it! Shoot all of it in me!” Even though I’d been shooting jizz for a while now, I still wasn’t quite used to how intense it would feel. Yeah, it still felt like I was “dying” but in a good way.

Once I was done making his butt as messy as he had made mine, we were laughing like idiots as we stumbled into the bathroom and spent quite a bit of time “giggling like girls” as we worked to clean up the messes we made. Once we got all nice and clean, Danny said, “Now we should find some girls to fuck – and I know two girls who won’t say no. I’ll be right back!”

He’d thrown his clothes on and dashed out, leaving me sitting on his bed and still naked. While I waited for him to return – and thinking that he was full of shit about being able to bring back girls we could fuck, which had me laughing to think that if he had been full of something, it definitely wasn’t shit. I was kinda lost in my thoughts about what we’d done and deciding whether I liked us sucking each other or if fucking each other was better; I was so busy working on this that I got the shit scared out of me when Danny burst into his room… with two girls in tow.

One girl saw me naked on the bed and said, “Oh, yeah!” and got naked so fast that I thought that if I hadn’t been looking at her, I never would have known that she had clothes on. Her titties were nice and big and I could see that she had a lot of hair down there as she climbed onto the bed next to me and started kissing me and fondling my dick and balls.

“Do you eat?” she whispered in my ear and while she was licking and jamming her tongue into it.

“Yeah,” I managed to say; she was now sucking on my neck and it was driving me crazy and making me hotter and hornier. She sucked hard on my neck and I could feel a hickey there before she flopped down and spread her legs really wide.

“Eat me,” she said and I don’t even remember moving but there I was, my face in her pussy and smelling her scent and seeing that she was already hot and wet – and, for some reason, remembering what a girl had told me about how I could tell if a girl was hot, wet, and ready because her pussy would be open like a flower… and this girl’s pussy was most definitely open and I could see the head of her clit already poking out.

I don’t remember much after I started eating her; it was like I just blanked out and nothing existed for me except my mouth on her pussy and my tongue going crazy all over it and including sticking it in her as far as I could get it – she liked that but when I sucked on her clit – and what a funny word that was – it would drive her crazy and make her fuck against my mouth, moaning and cussing and, at times, saying, “There, right there, stay there, keep doing that…” and other things that just served to encourage me to keep doing what I was doing.

I had no idea what Danny and the other girl was doing and didn’t until the girl I was eating told me to stop and get it in her and fuck her. It wasn’t until I moved to do this that I saw Danny and the other girl in a 69 and I must have either “said” something or there was a look on my face because the girl I was with said, “We can do that later – now, put it in me!”

I did and I saw the look on her face as I slid easily into her. I didn’t know what to make of that look even when I’d seen girls get the same kind of look but, later for that shit; her pussy felt good around my dick and I could feel her squeezing me with her pussy – and a “trick” I hadn’t known that girls could do until that time I’d had sex with “Cynthia” and she was squeezing my dick so much and so hard that it made me cum. This girl – and I had realized that I didn’t even know her name – was squeezing me but not that hard; she had her legs wrapped around my waist and was grinding beneath me and mumbling about how good it felt and saying, “Yes…” over and over. She would gasp and I’d see the look on her face; it was dreamy or she’d gaps and her eyes would be wide open and like she was surprised or scared or something.

All of this is going through my head as I obeyed her command to fuck her faster and to shoot my cum into her… and my mind seemed to replace jizz with cum and, well, I heard myself cussing as that feeling got strong in me – then everything just went away. One moment, I heard myself saying that I was going to do it and the next thing I remembered was her kissing me and telling me how good I’d made her feel and that she wanted me to make her feel good again.

Danny was fucking the other girl and me and the girl – “Carol” – just sat together and watched him and “Lisa” fuck. I was looking at Lisa and, suddenly, I “knew” what she was feeling with Danny’s dick going in and out of her… and just as he had done to me a little while ago. I was so busy trying to make sense of this “knowing” thing that Carol startled me when she shook me and said for me to lie down so I could eat her pussy while she sucked my cock. As I did as I was told, I was suddenly remembering the first time I’d eaten a girl’s pussy after shooting jizz – now cum – into her. Man, that first time? I had had a great urge to throw up but once I got my mouth on her and started licking and sucking, hmm, my stuff tasted pretty good and combined with how her pussy tasted.

Interesting! I had added this to my list of favorite things to do so when Carol lowered her pussy onto my face, it didn’t bother me one bit that I was tasting my cum right along with all the other delicious flavors I found as I licked and sucked her while moaning and fucking my dick into her mouth as she sucked me. She did stop long enough to tell me not to cum in her mouth because she wanted me to cum in her again. Fine by me but I was thinking that, hmm, I might not be able to cum any more.

Carol got on top of me, used a hand to get me in the right place, and sat right down on me. “Jesus Christ…” she said – and with that look on her face again. She smiled at me, leaned down to kiss me, then got a serious look on her face as she started to ride my dick; I found that to be so exciting it wasn’t funny since most of the girls I fucked didn’t do it like this so this was a special “treat” for me. My dick felt really huge inside of her as she moved on me. She’d lean down to either kiss me or to stuff a nipple into my mouth – and I had been having a good time fondling her breasts and playing with her nipples that were so hard the skin around them was really wrinkled.

“You feel good in me,” she said.

“You feel good, too,” I said and feeling… stupid for some reason. Somewhere behind us on Danny’s rather large bed, Danny and Lisa were going for it big time; now Lisa was on her stomach and Danny had this really serious look on his face as he fucked her.

“Lemme move,” Carol said. I had been still messing with her titties so I stopped; she climbed off of me and had a bit of a hard time moving because Danny and Lisa were right behind her. She got onto her knees and, honestly, I almost shot my cum right then and there because, again, most of the girls I’d been fucking always wanted to be on their back.

“Hurry up and put it back in,” Carol said; she sounded like she was mad at me or something but I scrambled to get behind her. She reached back and put me right against her pussy and I slid right back in, making both of us gasp. As I fucked her – and, damn, it felt even better than the first time – I was thinking that, okay, I’d cum three times already and that was my “limit” but, well, I still didn’t know if I could cum again but as long as my dick was hard, I was going to keep fucking Carol just the same.

We’d eventually wind up doing it “the usual way” and I was having a hard time moving because not only did she have her legs wrapped tightly around me, she had pulled me to her and wrapped her arms around me, too. I could only do short strokes but she seemed to like that. She moaned. She cussed. I could barely move but that didn’t seem to stop her from being able to move under me. She started sucking on my neck and hard enough that it hurt… but it felt good, too, and, um, shit, it suddenly felt too good.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I cursed. “I’m gonna cum!” As the “pressure” built up inside of me, my brain was “tasting” the word “cum” and found it to its liking, I guess. I didn’t know or care. Carol had let go of me enough so I could fuck her harder and faster and as she was telling me to do and… the world went away again for me. The only thing I was aware of was my dick pumping and her pussy gripping me. I couldn’t breathe; my heart was pounding in my chest and I could “hear” it in my ears. Oh, my god, this was feeling good and bad at the same time. I collapsed onto Carol, breathing so hard I felt like I was going to pass out; she held me and was kissing my face and telling me that I had made her happy because I’d fucked her really good.

I wanted to go to sleep. I was so tired! My whole body was aching as I pulled out of Carol and the world started to spin when I sat up. Danny and Lisa were lying next to each other, and I had noticed that Lisa had a lot of Danny’s cum flowing out of her.

Carol said to Lisa, “You need to try this one – he’s really good!”

Lisa said, “Oh, yeah – I can’t wait!”

What? I was actually scared for a moment when Carol moved to be next to Danny… and now I’m looking at a grinning Lisa, who stopped long enough to say to me, “I think I’m gonna love it when you eat my pussy…”

Oh, shit! I mean, sure, I think I had enough energy left to eat Lisa and a part of me was looking forward to finding out what her pussy tasted like with Danny’s cum still oozing out of her… and a part of me was saying, “Are you kidding me? You know you can’t handle any more of this!”

I did know that but Lisa was lowering her pussy onto my face and, at the same time, I felt her mouth close around my dick which now felt really small. No way I was getting hard again. I was hoping that she wouldn’t be mad if all I could do was eat her pussy so to “make up” for not being able to get hard again, I attacked her pussy with a frenzy. She tasted different than Carol had; her clit wasn’t like Carol’s but it was hard… and like my dick was getting.

What? How was that even possible? I knew I was hard but I also felt… numb. It was crazy! Lisa’s grinding her pussy onto my face and starting to smother me; I had to reach up and spread her butt cheeks apart so I could breathe and then I heard her say, “Stick a finger in there!” So I did – and she went berserk! I had no idea what the hell was going on other than she was beating my face up with her pussy and with my finger in her ass. She cried out and, holy shit – I could feel her clit pumping in my mouth as I sucked and licked it – and just like a dick would do!

Well, who knew? I sure as fuck didn’t but I didn’t have a lot of time to ponder this new thing I’d found out about girls because Lisa moved to get on top of me and stuffed my dick into her… and I could swear that it got bigger and harder.

I was so tired. My body felt like I’d been in a judo contest – everything was hurting or aching but none of it really seemed to matter as Lisa ground her pussy onto my dick and talking about how big and how good my dick felt in her and, shit, I was on the verge of passing out or something; all I could do was lie there as Lisa bounced up and down and all around on me and I felt like someone had hit me in the head with a brick when I started to cum.

“Shit! Shit! Oh, damn, oh, damn!” Lisa was cussing and grinding and I didn’t know what the fuck was going on because it felt like I was shooting… but it didn’t feel like I was. I guess it didn’t matter if I really was or not to Lisa because she was now sucking hard on my neck and still grinding her pussy on me and the next thing I knew, Danny was talking to me and asking me if I was okay.

And I was. Well, I was “awake” again. Did I pass out? It didn’t seem to me that Danny, Carol, or Lisa were worried about me but they were all smiling so I guessed that I just blanked out for a bit of time… or something. And Lisa was asking me if I could eat her and Carol one more time.

I did my best. They were sucking on my dick but I wasn’t getting hard and it didn’t feel like I had a dick to begin with. Danny surprised both of them by taking a turn sucking me as I was sucking and tonguing Carol’s clit and, well, the girls were happy, Danny was happy… and I wanted to take a nap so bad it wasn’t funny. We all managed to get out of bed and I was worried about not being able to stand up without falling back down again. I had had a lot of sex with others but it was nothing like what I had experienced this day. As I tried to wash my face and stuff, I was remembering my father coming home from work and talking about being “bone tired” and not understanding what that meant.

I knew what it meant now. Even though I was back to thinking clearly, my body hurt but in a good way… I think. My neck was hurting and when I got to look in the bathroom mirror, holy shit! I had hickeys all over my neck! Big ones, too! And I was wearing a T-shirt that wasn’t going to do shit about hiding my neck! I forgot about how tired I was and how much I was aching because I was now thinking about what my parents were going to say when they saw my neck.

The four of us got finished in the bathroom and spent some time finding our clothes; I had to stop Danny because he was about to put my underwear on and I knew they were mine because they had my initials inked onto them – something that had to be done when I went to summer camp. We got dressed, spent some time kissing both girls and they left to do whatever girls did after they had sex, leaving me and Danny to just stand there and look at each other.

“That was amazing, wasn’t it?” he asked.

“It sure as hell was,” I agreed but with less “enthusiasm” as he had asked the question.

“I like that we’re the same,” he said, putting his hand softly on my face and making me wonder if he was going to kiss me.

“I like that, too. Man, this has been one hell of a day!” I said. I really wanted and need to lie down and go to sleep and groaned to myself thinking that it would take me about twenty minutes to ride my bike back home… and having to deal with a couple of hills, too. Shit. By the time I’d get home, I’d be even more tired and hurting than I already was. I felt so… numb that I couldn’t feel my dick in my pants and I was tempted to look to see if I really did have it. But my biggest concern was going home… then Danny gave me something else to think about when he asked, “What are you doing tomorrow? I’m sure I can get Carol and Lisa to come over so we can do all of this all over again!”

What? Oh, hell no! I opened my mouth to say exactly that… and heard myself saying that I wasn’t doing anything tomorrow and if we could do all of this again, that would be okay with me. Well, provided I didn’t get grounded. We agreed that if I didn’t get grounded, I’d come over tomorrow at the same time – and when his parents were working – and he guaranteed that the girls would be there and it would be fun for all of us.

As I was peddling my way home, I was thinking about my day with Danny and then Carol and Lisa; it had all been a lot of fun having sex with them and actually looking forward to more of the same tomorrow but the closer I got to home, the more I was getting worried about the evidence on my neck and getting grounded for it. Why, oh, why didn’t I wear a shirt with a collar? Hey, maybe I can get into the house without my parents seeing me? Nah, that wasn’t going to work because I’d get home just before dinner and my parents and my siblings would and could see me. Shit. Shit, shit, shit!

I get home and bring my bike inside. My mom hears me and comes out of the kitchen, sees me, speaks to me – and I to her – and just when I thought I could make it to my room – and to put on a shirt with a collar that might hide the hickeys on my neck, well, that didn’t happen because the moment I started to move toward the stairs my mom said, “Come here.”

Oh, fuck me! I walked over to her like a man on death row; all holy hell was about to descend upon me and it was going to be bad. My mom grabbed my chin and I almost resisted her turning my head from side to side and getting a very good look at my neck. She let go of my chin, took a small step back – and I thought, “Here it comes…” and as my life started to flash before my eyes, my mom… started laughing. Then, to make matters worse, she called my father and said, “Hey – come take a look at your son!”

Here comes dad and I had a very sudden urge to pee. He exchanged a look with mom, then looked at me; he grabbed my chin pretty hard and jerked my head from side to side, stepped back, looked at me… and smiled, saying, “Well, we know what you’ve been doing, don’t we?”

I wanted to disappear. Go hide under a rock or be anywhere other than where I was. My parents are giving me a look I couldn’t make sense of; behind me, my siblings are laughing their asses off and talking about how I was about to get my behind beat and how funny it would be to watch it. My legs were trembling and I was about two seconds away from peeing on myself. My parents were looking at each other and like they were talking to each other without talking… then they both looked at me. My father kinda smiled and nodded and walked away and I thought that he had decided to let my mother punish me and that scared me more than him administering the punishment.

But my mom said, “Go wash your hand for dinner…” while trying not to laugh as she said it. As I got my feet to move so I could go upstairs, she said, “Next time, don’t let a girl do that – it gives the wrong impression.”

I had these thoughts today because I had to get up early for a telephone appointment with the people who are now monitoring me about my kidneys and my having PKD. I woke up… bone tired and my brain just plugged this hallmark memory in and played it for me and I just had to write about it. My bisexuality was put on full display that day and my limits were severely tested and like they’d never been tested before even though this wasn’t the first time I’d had sex like this.

My fourteen-year-old self got pushed to the limit and way beyond it. Danny had even called later to (1) confirm that the four of us would be on tomorrow provided I hadn’t been grounded and (2) to tell me how much the girls enjoyed me and especially how I ate their pussies and that (3) they were eager to see me and him suck each other off.

I told him that I hadn’t gotten grounded – yet; my parents were good at letting us think that we weren’t going to be punished… and hitting us with some kind of punishment when we didn’t expect it. My mom didn’t say or do anything; my father, well, he’d look at me and just shake his head but he also had a look on his face that suggested that he was “proud” of me or something like that.

“Boy, I don’t know about you,” he had said – and that’s all he said.

Yes, I did go over to Danny’s the next day. Yes, the four of us got very much into it again and Danny and I even got treated to watching Carol and Lisa eat each other’s pussies. Yes, we wore each other out but it wasn’t as bad for me as it had been the day before. We talked about being bisexual. How good and right it felt to be bisexual and, yeah, how much fun it was to be bisexual and getting laid that way. They all laughed at me when I mentioned the word “cum” and even more so when I had also admitted that I’d never heard the word before yesterday. We used that time to talk about being bisexuals so we could catch our breaths… so we could do it all again and before we’d have to head on home.

I didn’t get any new hickeys but I gained a better knowledge and understanding about being bisexual… and myself, too. I knew that people made fun of anyone who was “suspected” of going both ways but I knew they had no idea how… satisfying it could be to be able to go both ways and especially when you got to do it the way Danny, Carol, Lisa, and I had done it for three straight days. My horizons continued to expand and new limits set on how much sex I could take before my body would just refuse to have anything to do with having sex. The girls were, wow, insatiable. Danny got pushed to and beyond his limits as well and it would be something we talked about on the phone for a few hours.

It was incredibly nice to be bisexual and those three days proved it “once and for all” for me. The sex was beyond amazing but I’d later come to realize that the sheer intimacy we all displayed with each other was just as good and better than the sex we had.

See you tomorrow. There’s no telling what will be on my mind.

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Posted by on 21 March 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 11 March 22

From time to time, the guys on the forum get to talking about… cum. From what to do with it when sucking cock to getting deep down into philosophical discussions about whether the thrill of sucking cock is savoring the taste of cum or not. Is it about the taste of cum or is there more to it that makes sucking a guy off the thrill it can be?

That acquired taste. Your friendly neighborhood nerd, once upon a time, got very curious about why people say that having cum in your mouth is an acquired taste because, after, um, after having a lot of cum deposited in my mouth, I was learning that, yeah, it’s the taste of it but it was also the consistency that lends itselt to a mouth feel that takes some getting used to as well. The light bulb had come on one day when talking to one of the Hot in the Ass girls who loved to suck us off and swallow our jizz and, yeah, there we were comparing notes on whose jizz tasted good or bad and while we had what I’ll call some minor disagreements about the guys the both of us were sucking off, we had also noted that not only did jizz taste different from guy to guy, sometimes, it tasted different with the same guy.

Hmm. I had to admit to myself that I’d been so busy sucking all of those dicks that I never really paid attention to this. We were also talking about how some guys’ jizz was really thick and “creamy” and some guys’ stuff was thin and watery and all that; she had said that, depending on the guy, how thick or thin it was would sometimes cause her to spit it out because it “tasted” yucky… but not really yucky.

Then she sucked me off and launched into a dissertation of what my stuff tasted like and felt like in her mouth; more sweet than salty, not too thick or thin and she deemed that my stuff tasted good which was a good thing to know because I didn’t want to be one of those guys who were known to have nasty tasty jizz.

It’s not hard to see why it’s call an acquired taste and just like, say, eating oysters is… but it’s not so much about how an oyster actually tastes but the mouth feel of, pardon me, having that slimy thing in your mouth and, interestingly enough, not all that different from what it’s like to have cum in your mouth. The member who wrote this interesting post wanted to know if the cocksuckers who swallow do so and savor the taste of cum and asked if there’s no chance to savor the taste when a guy cums too fast.

Yeah… we tend to talk about some interesting shit. Indeed, a lot of guys not only want to know how to make their cum taste better and how they can shoot more of it, they also want to know how to… avoid tasting it. Well, there’s a “trick” to that but, wow, I’ve tasted so much cum in my life to date that, again, my younger and very curious iteration wanted to know why it tasted the way it does and why it doesn’t all taste the same. I learned the science of it, which explained a lot of the taste issues but I hadn’t yet learned the other aspect of the thrill of sucking a guy’s dick and feeling him shooting his stuff into my mouth and that aspect was… the thrill of feeling him shooting into my mouth.

Those of you who suck cock and swallow knows what I’m talking about and more so if you happen to like that exact moment. Some of the members that responded waxed eloquently about the glory and beauty of the male penis and what being able to suck cock meant to them and some said it was about the taste and feel of cum in their mouth while others spoke to being able to suck him until he gave up his cum and being able to swallow it… and, of course, the guys who have yet to suck a dick had a lot to say as well.

For myself, it’s safe to say that it’s “all of the above” for me. The taste of cum, such as it can be, isn’t the reason why I suck dick but it can factor into my decision to swallow it or not and it’s not as if I’m “savoring the flavoring” and as I might do drinking a wine I’ve never tasted before or refamiliarizing myself with a particular wine’s taste. I learned that what a guy’s pre-cum tastes like can give me an idea of what his full load is going to taste like so, most of the time, the decision to swallow his cum has been made way before he actually does it… unless I change my mind (and I’ve been known to do that). One of the things the fellas talk about when getting that mouthful is, well, how to make it go down easier depending on taste, feel, and even volume and the one way I found was to add as much of my saliva to it so that, if it doesn’t taste all that sporty, cut the taste of it and to aid in getting it swallowed.

I’d say that most of the time, when a guy cums in my mouth, I don’t always taste it a whole lot because of the addition of saliva and, knowing that some guys’ stuff tastes “horrible,” not letting his cum hit the front of my tongue and where the majority of taste buds live. Or, sometimes, I’ve caught myself “shaping” my tongue to catch his cum but to keep it away from those parts of my tongue that will give me a good – but not so good – taste of whatever bitter notes his cum has and, since I know the “science of cum,” there are usually bitter notes because seminal fluid is alkaline in nature and it has to be in order to survive in the acidic environment of a woman’s vaginal vault long enough to be able for that one sperm to get to the egg and we’re gonna have a baby!

At this point, you may be thinking that I’m overthinking this but, nope – I most certainly am not because I have spent an untold amount of time being asked about why cum tastes the way it does and, yeah, what does it taste like and all the other cum-related questions asked by those who were either looking to suck dick and find out why cum is an acquired taste or those who were… disgruntled because a guy’s spunk didn’t taste the way they thought it should have tastes. If they had a question about it, chances were good I had an answer for them but I had to do some nerd shit in order to be able to answer these questions.

The one question I have a hard time answering is why does it feel so damned good when a guy cums in your mouth? Amongst us guys and I’ll say usually, if we’re sucking dick, it is for the express purpose of doing it until the other guy cums. There is just something… deliciously “nasty” about enticing him to cum in our mouth and whether we swallow it or spit it out and taste, I think, is a bit of a “secondary” kind of concern and, I also think, a lot of us are of a mind that it’s going to taste like whatever it’s going to taste like. I’m sure that “cum sluts” would have something very different to say about that but the cum sluts I used to know didn’t speak on taste so much as they would about how it made them feel when a guy unloaded into their mouth and, for some, that moment was akin to a religious experience.

It feels incredibly good in the moment he starts to cum in your mouth… and I don’t really know why other than what some guys say about getting the reward for their hard work. Depending on the guy and some other things, like, how much of his dick you have in your mouth, you feel his dick swell – then that first shot of cum comes, followed by his dick pumping more of it in and that action, for some reason I don’t understand, feels seriously good. Now, whether you decide to hold his cum in your mouth before swallowing it (or spitting it out) is… arbitrary; sometimes I’ll hold his cum in my mouth until he’s done putting it in there then swallow it or I’m swallowing it as he’s delivering it and, again, depending on some stuff that could include taste, consistency, and volume. Those things are going to be whatever they’re going to be but, yeah, I got him to cum in my mouth and that, again, makes me feel seriously good and, oddly, even when homey gave me “problems” sucking him to that creamy finish.

There is some… mystique behind consuming another man’s seed. As I’ve probably mentioned before, in some cultures, partaking of the essence of a man is a rite of passage and by partaking of a man’s sperm, that which makes him a great warrior or hunter can be transferred to the boy who is becoming a man in that culture but, yeah, I’ve wondered how the partaking happens; is it delivered in a container of some kind or, um, taken straight to the head so it can be as fresh and vibrant as humanly possible? I dunno and, such as it is, it’s not all that important but, yeah, a lot of guys surround getting cum in their mouth and swallowing it with a lot of… spirituality and some are rather eloquent about it.

Shit, even I got to thinking once, and as a guy was cumming in my mouth, of all the “children” that wasn’t going to be conceived because he was putting it in my mouth and I was swallowing every drop of it he had and the thought had… weight, for some reason and, I’d later think, it did feel “spiritual” but in the sense that I was doing a very taboo thing and I was and had been enjoying thumbing my nose at the taboos surrounding men having any kind of sex with each other.

There is that sense of accomplishment. You got him to cum and his cum is, again, the reward for the work it took to get him to give it up. Yeah, sometimes, there’s that, “Damn, it’s about fucking time!” thing that I’m thinking and feeling and the taste and mouth feel of his cum might not be “on my mind” at that precise moment but, after the fact, yeah – some guys just literally leave a bad taste in my mouth but I think I don’t pay a “whole lot of attention” to it because I know why his shit tastes not-all-that good and for the brief moment I actually taste it.

If you were to be able to see how we talk about getting our cum to taste better, you’d think we’d lost our minds or maybe even wonder why this is so damned important. See, I guess a lot of us are of a mind that someone isn’t of a mind to suck us off because of the taste (and feel) of it and they’re not totally wrong about that but anyone who has sucked a guy off also knows how much… shit they have to go through and endure getting him to cum and women, jeez. If they didn’t get traumatized by some guy creaming their mouth – and when he swore and promised not to do that – well, guess what they’re not going to be a fan of? Some women aren’t of a mind to suck and finish the guy off because other than getting a load of cum in their mouth, what else are they getting out of it? And, besides: The cum is supposed to go in the pussy and there isn’t a woman who doesn’t know that if they suck a guy off, the chances of them getting the dick in their pussy are slim to none so it’s in their best interest not to suck the guy off, right?

Right. Which is also one of the major reasons why a guy would want another guy to suck his dick because, let’s say, there’s a 98% chance that homey is going to not only make him cum but he’s going to swallow it, too. Why? Because, I think, it feels better to cum in a place than it does to cum not being in a place. Like cumming inside someone feels better than jerking off. Yeah, this gets to be some “serious” shit with guys and I’m sure there might be a lot of women who’d read this and start rolling their eyes but, yeah, we are “deadly serious” about cum and cumming.

I know that nothing pisses me off more than to spend x-amount of time sucking a guy’s dick… and he doesn’t cum. My younger self used to get fighting mad about it and, sometimes, literally so. You mean to tell me that I did all of that work and all I got to show for it was aching jaw muscles and other not-so-comfortable things? Like a lot of people, I took the lack of cum personally. I didn’t do it right or didn’t do it long enough or he didn’t like how I sucked him, so on and so forth. But then I would learn the reasons why he didn’t cum in my mouth so I could, yeah, taste it, feel it, and swallow it. Not so much that “reward” thing but when you’re that orally fixated, sucking a dick feels good… but sucking it until he cums feels even better and that’s the easiest way I can describe it.

Taste, mouth feel, and volume plays into it and guys who are “heavy cummers” makes sucking them quite interesting and, if you didn’t know he was like that, quite the surprise to find yourself with more cum in your mouth than you were “prepared” for since “most guys” don’t cum a “whole lot” but some guys, shit, there’s a thrill of having a “fire hose” go off in your mouth and some panicky moments trying to deal with all that spunk and so much that when I’ve sucked one of these guys, I’m swallowing as fast as I can and wondering if he’s going to stop any time soon.

And, still, it feels so wonderful that he came in my mouth. A little or a lot. Taste and the other aspects? Eh, they’re still whatever they’re going to be and there’s nothing I can do about that. One of the things I learned about swallow cum is that, sometimes, um, it can give me the runs. What the holy fuck is that about? Remember me saying, somewhere above, that a man’s cum is alkaline in nature? Well, when something that is too alkaline hits the acid in your stomach, it upsets the water balance and you get the runs or an upset stomach and sometimes, I’ve gotten both after swallowing a guy’s cum. Yes, it felt heavenly to feel him shooting his load into my mouth but after swallowing it? Whole different story at times but, yeah, it’s occupational hazard time.

“Well, if shit like that happens, why swallow it?

Yeah… that’s a damned good question, ain’t it? For many of, it is the thing that must be done for us to feel satisfied with what we did – it just doesn’t make sense to not swallow it. For some, it is an expectation; if you suck a guy’s dick, you’re supposed to take his cum in your mouth whether you swallow it or not and, yeah, some guys don’t like it when you spit their stuff out and for whatever reason you decided to do that – and that might be a future scribble.

You either “acquire the taste” or you don’t. Is it the act that brings the most pleasure or is it getting that mouthful of cum that’s the shit to end all shits? I would say that it depends on a lot of stuff… and I do mean a lot of stuff… and us guys like to talk about as much of that stuff as we have the vocabulary to do so. It depends on what sucking cock means to you, from why you do it to how it makes you feel and we’re just not “all the same” about any of it. I think some of us… romanticize cum and I’m not sure if this is the right word that describes how I’ve heard and seen a lot of men talk about the moment the other guy cums. We have… a thing about huge, thick loads of salty/sweet cum and drinking it down as if it is nectar or ambrosia when, um, the reality is that the load given might not be all that much, can taste like whatever the guy has been putting into his stomach and, yeah, it might not taste all that good.

But you did get him to cum in your mouth. For a lot of male cocksuckers – including me – that’s why you suck dick. Reveling in doing it and feeling/hearing how he responds or whatever way you like having dick in your mouth makes you feel wonderful. I’m very old school in that if I’m blowing you, the cum goes in my mouth and nowhere else. That facial thing? Don’t even try it. To me, it’s humiliating and demeaning and just like spitting in my face is. Some guys love it. I’m not one of them. Now, I don’t always swallow or even let him cum in my mouth. Sometimes it’s because his pre-cum has told me that, nope, his shit ain’t gonna taste good and sometimes, um, I want to see him cum. Sometimes, he’s managed to piss me off with his behavior as I sucked him and his “punishment” for pissing me off is that he’s gonna cum… but not in my mouth and like he was very much expecting to do.

Is it the act or the taste of a man’s cum that brings a cocksucker the most joy and pleasure? I don’t believe there is – or should be – a definitive answer or some kind of “standard.” Things like taste, mouth feel/consistency, and volume tends to vary from man to man and even from one moment to the next. I’ve sucked the same guy several times and have gotten different “results” when he cums and it is what it’s going to be but, yeah: I sucked his dick and enticed him to cum in my mouth so I can swallow it and, most of the time, it tasted and felt good in my mouth and more so when I’m continuing to gleefully disobey the rules that still says that men shouldn’t be doing thing like this to each other and, yeah, if anyone is supposed to suck you off, it has to be a woman.

Put the knives away, ladies. I have been of a mind that a lot of women feel that they own sucking dick so a guy that does it is trespassing on their territory and because it’s always been a thing that women are supposed to do, well, their unhappiness with a guy who sucks dick is actually understandable… and even when a woman exercises her right to not suck your dick or allow you to cum from her sucking it. When you’re dealing with women, this is just something you get used to even when you don’t really get used to it. It’s… complicated but what I do know is that because there are women who are seriously funny about sucking a guy until he cums, that’s why a lot of guys turn to other guys to get sucked off because, again, 98% of the time – and this is very arbitrary – if a guy’s sucking your dick, he’s going to do it until you cum in his mouth. Almost every damned time. And we all know this. If a woman won’t, a guy will.

Not really a “hard-set” truism but, yeah, we know this because it’s very real. Sucking a guy’s cock and partaking of his cum… just feels incredibly good and taste, well, it’s an individual consideration and a lot of guys have their own “take” on the taste factor. It’ll either taste good – and to whatever and however that works out in our brains – or it’s going to not taste good; the mouth feel of it can be very much to your liking or not so much and the same can be said about how much cum the guy gives up and whether it’s a little or a lot.

We are very serious about this. I know that I am, too… but I can’t really tell you why I am even though I know my being orally fixated probably has a lot to do with it. If I suck your dick, I want and need you to cum in my mouth so I can swallow all of it. Anything less than that is… fucked up. That sense of accomplishment never arrives and, yeah, sometimes, it is very much like I did all of that sucking, which was good, but it was all for nothing because the guy didn’t do what I wanted and needed him to do.

Cum in my mouth. Let me taste and feel it. Ahh… so nice and satisfying! There’s just something about it that is so satisfying and I cannot truthfully or accurately say whether it’s the act itself or what a guy’s cum tastes and feels like that gives me the most pleasure. I think it’s more the former than the latter… sometimes. It depends. But, yeah, this is some very serious shit for guys who suck dick. Overthinking it? Yeah, it sure sounds that way but it isn’t since what you do with a man’s cum has a lot to do with why you’re sucking cock in the first place. It feels good. It tastes good… most of the time. It’s deliciously nasty to swallow another guy’s cum and giving the taboo the double finger while you’re at it.

Once again and when people are losing their shit over this huge emergence of bisexual men – and many of them are cocksuckers – it’s not so much what we do with each other but why we do it and this thing about cum is very much a part of why we do what we do when we have that very incredible urge to suck a man’s dick so we can swallow his cum. I’m still the guy who keeps trying to shine a light on these things and give some insight about what bi guys – and myself – are thinking and talking about.

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Posted by on 11 March 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 03 March 22

Across many parts of the country, spring is starting to get cranked up and that means that as things go from unsettled to warming up, droves of male cocksuckers will be emerging from their “dens” where they’ve been hibernating over the winter and looking to feed upon the flesh of their fellow men to slake their hunger for cum.

I don’t really remember when I noticed how… seasonal things can get in this. Being younger, we took advantage of any day we could to have sex with each other and no matter the season but, sure, come spring, it was better being outside and not having to worry so much about freezing our asses off in the places we’d go to continue to feed our hungers for dick. Summer arrives and school’s out… and the possibilities were unlimited and one could get so much dick that they might get “tired” of getting it but, nah, not really.

The end of summer was always a sad moment because it’d be time to head back to school and being able to get some dick became a bit harder – but that’s what sleepovers and helping out with homework “were for.” Our time outside and being left to our own devices would be shorter since we all knew that when it started to get dark, it was time to stop whatever we were doing and head inside for the night so it became very important to bust as many nuts as we could with each other in order to hold us over until the next day.

Winter was like… ugh. Brrr. Ah, but there was a way to get warmed up even if for a relatively short period of time, wasn’t there? Mouths being attached to hard cocks raised body temperatures and in the cold places we’d use that still had windows, they’d quickly become fogged as cum was issued and swallowed and now it was time to share that precious body heat by inserting our dick into our partner’s ass and creating even more delicious heat fucking him until his ass got flooded with hot, sticky cum – then quickly changes places to not let the stifling heat we created dissipate and sigh happily as the fucking – and being roast-toasty – continued.

The cycle would repeat year after year but getting into the mid-teen years showed that if it wasn’t warm out, yeah, doing something with a guy would often get set aside in favor of not having to be out in whatever inclement weather was happening. It wasn’t impossible to get some dick but, yeah, it’s too fucking cold out there to have one’s balls exposed to the elements or being “bothered” with finding some secluded place that would provide its own warmth and cover from the elements but only the horniest of us would dare to brave the elements in order to take care of that need to, at the very least, suck dick and be sucked – and even then, it was too cold outside for the sucking to be one-way only.

I think it wasn’t until the Internet came along and the many BBS (bulletin boards) and things like IRC chatrooms and web-based forums came along that I started to see that while guys were taking any and every opportunity to suck dick, hmm, it’s… seasonal. Spring would come around and guys who were starving for cock over the winter would be out in droves and one could be swamped with offers to suck and be sucked and, in those adult years, trying to fit it in (and literally) with the things we had to do as adults.

Summer, it seemed, was still the best time to get some dick but I noticed that things slowed down a bit because being adults meant that you didn’t get to take the summer off and like we enjoyed in our youth… but it was possible to steal some time to meet a guy somewhere so that dicks could be sucked and hot, sticky, and tasty cum could be spilled and consumed. I remember driving through a local park and being able to see the places where guys could handle their sexy bizness – and because, historically, that particular park was really the best place to be out in the open and doing your dirt because of all the places one could hide to do it… and I knew where they all were since, um, I’d spent a lot of time in that park having sex.

So it was easy for me to see guys “hiding” in those places. On their knees or just bent over and furiously sucking on a dick; sometimes, on the ground and locked into a 69 and thrusting their cocks into each other’s mouth and just as furiously, not just because of the need to do this but, yeah, the cops knew those places, too, and were doing their job to bust anyone they could and charge them with public lewdness or “unnatural sex acts” if guys were caught fucking.

I saw them here and there as I drove and laughed to myself because not only were grown-assed men using the same places many of us used when we were younger, the “don’t get caught” thing was still very much in effect so being able to suck a dick and bust a nut in “record time” became a must. Being in this park at night used to be the best time to get out of the house and away from whomever lived with you in order to feed this great need… until the police stepped up their efforts to enforce the park’s posted curfew.

Fall would come around and it seemed like men were preparing to hibernate for the coming winter and being able to host would be almost impossible; summertime would sometimes allow guys in a relationship to be “home alone” as their peeps would be out and about in the summer heat but, eh, sometimes, not for very long… but all a guy needed was fifteen minutes alone with a hard dick and some guys took “risks” but understandably so because the need must always be fed.

Always. Fall would provide many opportunities to suck dick but the days were getting cooler and the nights chillier and, yeah, you need to suck some dick and feed your dick to a hungry male mouth – but it’s too cold out there; maybe tomorrow would be a better day unless, of course, you had it like that to be able to get dick without having to go outside at all.

Winter would once again arrive and I’d be online and seeing all of the cocksuckers clamoring for dicks to suck but, damn, it’s just too fucking cold to leave our “dens” in order to feed the need. Now, it wasn’t like there were those of us who didn’t have access to pussy because a lot of us did… but if one didn’t learn anything about this, it was that you can get all the nice, hot and wet pussy available and it wouldn’t do much about that great need to have a hard dick in your mouth and feeding that need to consume another man’s sperm. And many men would be… miserable. Starving. Only the more daring and adventurous of us would say, “Fuck the weather – I need some dick!” and be out there traveling to no-tell-motels to be able to spend precious minutes taking care of that need to suck and be sucked and it would be worth the cost of the room.

The change of seasons really didn’t mean a lot to me; if/when I wanted to suck cock, I’d always find a way to get it done but it helped that, being in an open relationship, I had permission. I just had to let my wife know that I’m going (add wherever I’m supposed to meet my victim, er, partner) to meet this guy; we’re gonna blow each other and I’ll be back to share the juicy details with her and per the rules we had set for this change in our relationship. I wouldn’t go out in a snowstorm for some dick but I once did for some pussy… because it was some very damned good pussy (but that’s another story for another time). Even though I fucking hate being cold, when I needed to suck dick and I could convince a guy to come out of his den so we can suck each other silly, sure, it’ll be okay because once the sucking begins, there will be enough warmth to wind up getting all sweaty as I’d use my mouth and tongue to get the other guy to give up his cum and even as he’s doing the same things to get me to give up mine.

But for a lot of men I’d interact with online and in forums, winter was the bane of their cocksucking existence. Better to stay in and safe (except having to be out there because of work) but not all that good of a thing to be inside, safe and warm, and craving dick so badly that it just made a lot of guys even more miserable and needy. “When it gets warmer” was something a lot of men hibernating in their dens would say and it was as if we all knew that once spring came around, this would be the time to come out of our dens and once more take up the hunt and answer the call of cock; to get back to being in that unique situation where one can be both hunter and the hunted.

And all for the forbidden pleasures found in sucking another man’s cock. The feel of it. The heady, musky scent of a man’s crotch. The taste. Even the sight of seeing his hard shaft in your mouth and, of course, the sounds. Slurping. Moaning. Cursing and other verbalizations. Being lost in the moment but not so much that you are patiently – or impatiently – waiting for the first signs that he’s going to cum. Being in that battle of wills that I’ve always found… funny. He wants to cum in my mouth… and he doesn’t. I want him to cum in my mouth… but not right now. We both know what’s going to happen so, in a way, resistance is futile but it’s just part of the whole.

That moment when you feel his cock swell; you hear him cursing or whatever and even telling you what he’s about to do. Waiting for it to happen. Apply all of your skills to shove him over the edge so that you can feel that first splash of cum and then feel his prick dutifully pumping more cum into your mouth. Salty/sweet or tasting of whatever he’s eaten or drank. That whey-like consistency that provides a mouth feel that one really does have to get used to.

And if the two of you weren’t sharing this in a 69, now it’s your turn to be sucked… and provided that you haven’t “sucked the life” out of him and he’s now in that place where the last thing he wants to do is to keep having sex. Some guys are able to work through that awful moment and some just can’t. Bummer. But the need got fed. Bad form to let a guy walk away from this and not have his balls emptied even if they have to be emptied manually.

Spring is coming. There are male cocksuckers (and ass fuckers) waiting for the first signs of spring’s warmth so that they can get back out there to hunt and be hunted because the six weeks or so of winter has been too long a time to go without being able to slake one’s lust for man-flesh. I visit the forum and I can see the hibernating cocksuckers starting to stir with a purpose; it’s no longer just about talking about doing the most favored thing to do with another guy, it’s now about getting out there to suck dick and ramping up the hunt for those men who are willing – and able – to accommodate them and to end their own need to feed upon another man’s prick.

The “hardcore” bottoms are looking for those tops who are also emerging; they’ll suck a dick until it’s good and hard and then get ready to receive it into an ass that has spent the winter either being devoid of cock or the sometimes less than satisfying dildo or prostate massager, neither of which can ever really place the real thing that’s attached to a man who wants that bottom to know that he’s going to get his “pussy” very well used and “abused.” Lucky bottoms will be… walking funny. Good for them.

But it’s the cocksuckers who are fervently awaiting spring’s relative warmth looking for men who can host but if they can’t, there are places that are beginning to thaw out from winter’s wrath and where stolen bits of time can be used to do the one thing that drives them just as much as getting some pussy does.

Sucking dick. Tasting sperm. Being locked into a sensual but somewhat “vicious” 69 because in this, cocksucking is better together. Ah, the heady rush of defying the taboo! This one special moment when good guys can be very bad boys and for some, yet another chance to let their “inner girl” come out to play.

You see, those who don’t suck dick or aren’t real fans of it don’t quite understand the compulsion so many men have to do this “unspeakable” thing to each other. It’s not… optional. There’s no such thing as not feeling like sucking dick or being sucked. It’s not one of those “take it or leave it” kind of things and like anal sex can be (and for some, understandably so).

And it’s seasonal. I never noticed it until I was well into my adult years but I guess I was “too busy” to notice this when spring came around and there are a lot of men looking to wrap their mouth around my prick and way more than what winter would allow. Yeah, there are only so many hours in a day and only so many minutes that can be allocated or stolen to indulge in this pleasure. It wasn’t really until I asked myself why was there so many men after my mouth and cock until I realized that, huh – it’s spring. Winter’s being shoved aside for this time of renewal and that includes renewing that need to give and get blowjobs from those men who very much need to break the fast that winter imposed upon them and as it tends to do here on the east coast of the US.

And probably in those other places winter pays a visit to and the harsher the winter, the greater the need becomes and the arrival of spring is a damned good time to get caught up on all the dick missed or passed up because, fuck – it’s too fucking cold!

I’m going to leave you now to think about this, you know, if you want to.

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Posted by on 3 March 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 26 February 22

One of my favorite forum topics is the one where it’s been asked if it took a lot of convincing to suck cock for the first time. Many of those who commented were young cocksuckers like me; some got “blindsided” by a request to suck dick and some admit to having been curious about it and even having the level of feelings for a friend that would make sucking his dick the thing to do. A lot of cousins involved in those “convincing moments” which doesn’t surprise me all that much.

While most of those who commented got hooked on sucking dick after being convinced to, eh, some of them didn’t like it all that much… at first. I get tickled to read the comments where a guy will say that neither of them knew what they were doing or they did but what they did get invalidated because of the lack of cum and that includes the guys who got into the cock sucking frenzy in their youth but, as an adult, says that those heady days – and the pun is most certainly intended – didn’t count.

Many said that they knew what they were being asked to do was wrong but, well, okay, as long as nobody finds out and, yeah, sometimes, other guys found out and flocked to them to get their dicks sucked (and to do some sucking as well). A lot of the commenters got convinced to do it in their adult years and admit to either a great deal of trepidation and/or excitement and while none of those who comment have shared anything that I haven’t heard before, I very much enjoy reading their impressions of that moment and especially the first time they tasted sperm; it was either yucky or, hmm, don’t know what this is but it tastes kinda good.

Stands to reason that while there were guys who were more than eager to be “convinced,” some weren’t so much. I know. Sordid. It happens. Sometimes, boys being boys isn’t all that nice since it’s also not unusual for one boy to be the aggressor and preying upon a guy who is thought – or known – to not be one to put up a lot of resistance. In my own youthful moments of cock sucking debauchery, me and my gang would hear about these kinds of guys and would avoid them and since most of us had no objecting to fighting, those “bullies” tended to avoid us because we weren’t pushovers.

Shit, I’d hit a motherfucker with a brick in a heartbeat.

If I’ve learned nothing else about this, it’s that there’s rarely a middle ground; you get convinced to do it or, uh-huh, you convince your friend that it’ll be okay and one either loves the shit out of it… or they don’t. At first or not at all. Some of those who didn’t like it at first spoke to the shame and guilt over what they’d done but as an adult, they saw that there wasn’t really anything to be ashamed of, well, unless they were convinced as an adult; some talked about feeling guilty afterward but, eh, it wasn’t all that bad.

Then – and as it can be expected – there are always a few guys who haven’t sucked dick who likes to chime in and speak to wishing that they had grown up in an environment where they could have been convinced to suck cock and such statements often speak of how envious or even jealous the commenter is because the rest of us got to experience it in our younger incarnations.

I can recall some of the times when I’d been asked how a guy convinces another guy to do something that they’re not supposed to do and I’ve said, “Uh, usually, you just ask him – that’s how it usually happened when I was growing up. I’d have to say that it was “rare” to come across a guy who didn’t want to, and some guys didn’t need a whole lot of convincing – they just needed someone to ask them. Some guys would say no… but not because they didn’t want to; they knew that if their parents found out that they did this, well, going to hell would look like a vacation by comparison.”

I remember talking to a girl about this and while she wasn’t all weirded out about guys sucking on each other’s pricks, she wanted to know why we did it… and I didn’t know other than it was just something boys could do. Back then, girls would get “traumatized” into staying away from boys and our evil, dirty, and nasty pricks and that included them being told not to look at one, touch one, or let one anywhere in their body and, well, the scare tactics worked for most but not for the Hot in the Ass girls all that much. If they did nothing else, they sucked dick, probably not so much because they were told that girls were supposed to – but some of them heard about this – but because their version of kid logic suggested that they could stay a virgin and wouldn’t be suspected of having sex… and then being dragged to a doctor to make sure they weren’t.

It wasn’t like we didn’t know what girls were told about this but, again, kid logic just seemed to suggest and recommend that if a girl didn’t want to do it, maybe one of the guys would want to and, no, I do not know how that really worked – I just know it worked like that. You just asked the guy whose dick you wanted to suck. He’d either say okay or he wouldn’t. No biggie. Forget it was even mentioned. On to the next thing and whatever that might be. Some guys would say no… at first. Like, a guy might ask me today and I’d say no for some reason but later on or the next day? Sure! Then again, um, it didn’t take a whole lot to convince me to suck your dick and I’d be almost jumping out of my skin waiting to be asked to do it and feeling all kinds of nervous wanting to ask a guy if I could suck his dick and especially if I didn’t know that he’d agree already; we knew who’d want to do it and who said they didn’t… but that didn’t really mean that they couldn’t be asked anyway because a lot of guys would change their minds and for no other reason than not wanting to be left on the outside of whatever the rest of us were doing.

As an adult, I’ve found that it’s much harder to convince a guy to get into some cock sucking and even if/when they admit that they’ve been curious about it. Our heads (no pun this time) just get filled to the brim with all kinds of stuff that will make us… overthink it. Almost consistently assuming the worst will happen. I’ve often regaled you with some of the really silly stuff I’ve seen guys do trying to convince another guy to blow him as well as how I’ve reacted when those silly things have been directed at me. I mean, some guys were quite direct: What would you do/say if I asked you to suck my dick? My answer would depend on what I knew about the guy because, yeah, depending on the neighborhood you lived in, you knew who was down with it, who wasn’t, and who should be avoided at all costs.

Since a lot of those guys asking me to do this to them didn’t know that I was very much into it, I had to learn to control myself and act dumb as they did their best to convince me that sucking their dick wouldn’t be a bad thing to do. I think back to those days and I sometimes feel bad about playing the “dumb game” with them because doing so was teaching me some stuff about guys and that “need” to have sex with other guys and more so if the guy in question wasn’t known to be or out as gay – the gay guys, yeah, you had to love them because they’d come right out and tell you what they wanted to do and how good they were gonna do it.

In the younger iteration, there wasn’t a lot of bargaining done because there was the unspoken rule that if you wanted a guy to suck your dick, you were going to suck his and even if you didn’t really like sucking dick. Tit for tat. You weren’t going to get something for nothing. In the adult years, oh, yeah – bargaining. Begging and pleading. Sometimes trying to “shame” a guy into doing it. Like, getting into the teenaged years, it wasn’t unusual for a guy who wanted another guy to blow him to “threaten” him with telling everyone they knew that they actually did it and knowing how the shared peer group would react to being told – and believing – that the guy being asked was secretly a faggot.

It worked on some guys, too. The logic suggested it was better to just go ahead and suck the guy’s dick than it was trying to defend yourself against this allegation and the understanding that they wouldn’t believe a word you said in your defense. This level of coercion was greatly frowned upon and, yes, I’m the guy who’ll tell you that, again, boys being boys wasn’t always carried out nicely. There were guys who would actually get another guy drunk and then hit on him; I’d often catch guys trying to do this to me and I’d head them off at the pass by asking them if they were trying to get me drunk so they could take advantage of me and if they were, oh, man – you should have seen the look on their faces and watching them squirm and being totally embarrassed when I’d get them to confess that, yep – that’s what they were trying to do.

If the guy was really okay and despite this bit of trickery, I’d tell them that they didn’t have to get me drunk – all they had to do was just ask me and, who knows – I might say yes. You just learned about the not-so-okay guys who used this trick and you just refused to drink or get high with them because, come on – be a man about it. Indeed, I’d also play dumb because I wanted the guy to be a real man and ask me for what he wanted from me. And if they didn’t ask nicely, I learned to say, “You can’t ask me any better than that?” and, yeah, sometimes, “What in it for me? What are you gonna do for me if I blow you?”

There’s a reason why I miss the good old days – you didn’t have to put up with a lot of bullshit in order to suck a guy’s dick. If he didn’t want to, okay. No harm in asking, right? I think we instinctively knew – and learned in our attempts to have sex with girls – that you just gave a guy a chance to change his mind and sometimes, they did. Or not. No worries because you knew there would a guy who’d say yes to getting their dick sucked. We learn to play mind games with girls trying to get into their panties (or get our dicks into their mouths) and we played the same kind of games with each other – yeah, again, boys being boys wasn’t always all that nice and neat. Like two classic things: The first was, “I won’t tell anybody!” and the other was, “I’m not gonna shoot in your mouth!”

Yeah, ladies, if you think y’all were the only ones who heard this, know you know that you weren’t. Shit, guys were big-time blabbermouths and, yeah, if they could cum, it would happen in your mouth and without any warning. We all knew about this trickery since, um, some of us said the same things to girls which had an effect on those guys who weren’t known to suck dick or agreeable about it so trying to convince them that it would be just fine and dandy if they were to blow you would become quite difficult – and even, again, if the guy was curious about this thing the other guys were doing.

Did it take a lot of convincing for me to suck dick for the first time? Nope. Had I wanted to do it? Nope. Was I forced? Nope. I did get bribed to let him stick his dick in my mouth and I accepted the bribe. Did I know it was wrong? Sure did. Was I scared? Nope. I got hooked. Seriously hooked. He came in my mouth. Hmm. This tastes kinda good and, yes, I swallowed his cum because it was either that or wind up choking on it and my body made the decision more than my mind did. Had I heard about this? Well, who hadn’t? All any of us had to do was become invisible and listen to the old guys who’d gather to drink and shoot the shit to know that a dick could be sucked and what would happen when it was; yeah, those dudes weren’t what I’d call bashful about talking about such things and more so when they’d just ignore that we were within earshot of them. Knowing about it didn’t give me any thoughts about it – I was still getting my head around being able to stick my ding-dong inside a girl and how good that felt.

But when it happened, oh, my goodness. The only thing that really bothered me about it was trying to figure out how and where I could hide my bribe from my parents because I knew they’d take the money from me and like they did the day I found $1,500 in an envelope. They thought I had stolen it and I even got my ass beaten because they didn’t believe that I didn’t steal it but I really did find it. They apologized once they found that I hadn’t stolen it… and they didn’t give it back to me, either. Oh, they let me spend some of it but all that really did was get it into my head that if/when I got some money, if I wanted to keep all of it, it was best not to tell them… or be in a position where I had to tell them how I got it.

Then it was all about telling my friends about it and convincing them to let me do it to them and it wasn’t that hard. Some of them already knew about it before I did. No real concerns other than where can we go to do it so that we don’t get caught by an adult. That was a guaranteed ass-whupping and the first one and you could look forward to be taken home so you could get beaten again.

Some guys were easy to convince because, again, they didn’t want to be on the outside looking in. No one wanted to be tagged as being a chicken or a scardy-cat. Again, you just asked the guy you wanted to suck. He’d either say yes or no. No drama. If he said no like right now, he might say yes in a few minutes or even the next day – and then he’d come to you and tell you that now he wants to do it. We would invoke “I won’t tell if you won’t” and, um, nope – blabbermouths. We told. Not all of the time but, yeah, we’d tell but the good part about this is that we’d tell someone who was a cocksucker as well and now they knew of another guy they could ask and who might ask, “Hey… do you wanna do it?”

Sometimes “it” included fucking, but I’d say that most of the time, “it” was sucking on each other’s dick and making it feel really good and, eventually, good enough to make each other shoot the baby-making stuff into each other’s mouth and even then, swallowing the stuff was optional because, yuck, sometimes, the stuff didn’t taste all that good.

As long as you could convince a guy that it would be okay – and you kept the promises of not telling and not shooting it into the guy’s mouth without telling him you were gonna do it, well, okay. When and where? I still feel embarrassed at how easy it was for a guy to get me to suck his dick. Just pull it out and give me a look and I’d be on it like stink on shit. Shoot your stuff in my mouth. Would get mad as hell if the guy didn’t but if the guy wasn’t doing that yet, well, that was okay because it still felt good to suck him and I knew it was making him feel good and if he was scared at first, well, that went away pretty quick.

The only way one wouldn’t be able to convince a guy to give up his dick to be sucked was if “the word” got out that you couldn’t do it right – and whatever that meant – or you were known to be a huge tattletale and you’d tell the “wrong” people. Otherwise, sure; you can suck my dick if I can suck yours. Being an adult, again, well, not all that easy to convince a guy that it’ll really be okay if we did this. So much worry and fear. Mostly about being known as a cocksucker and what other people were going to say and/or do about that… and none of it pleasant. Believing that if you let a guy blow you, you’ll wind up being gay. The more prevalent and current fears about STDs and a lot of guys believing that you have to have a FWB in order to be safe doing it but not so much thinking that being in this kind of sexual relationship doesn’t guarantee anything because you don’t know where your FWB’s dick has been when he’s not with you.

Adult men can think of more reasons not to suck dick than they can think of reasons why they should and want to. I’ve found that once you grow into adulthood, you just get so much shit crammed into your head about what, as a man, you’re supposed to do and, yes, if you want your dick sucked, you had to convince a woman to do it and, yup, good luck with that one and you’d better not even think about letting some guy do it or get it into your head that giving a guy head would be a good thing for you to do. I found that in a lot of this, gay men didn’t do us any favors since they’ve historically had the very bad reputation and, as such, we tend to buy into the horror stories and look at those moments that actually went well as an exception to the rule.

Or, as I’ve heard a lot of guys I’ve tried to convince say, “Yeah, but…” and the “but” is always some horror story they heard about some other guy. It’s not as if some of the horror stories aren’t true because they are; guys get outed and their life gets fucked up in the most fucked up of ways. They get an STD. Sometimes feel so guilty over having sucked a cock that they fall into a clinically depressive state because they’re unable to resolve the conflicts going on inside their head. Some guys had a bad experience and now are of a mind that if that experience was bad, it’ll always be bad going forward.

It can be difficult to convince a guy to get his dick sucked by another guy and even if he wants to be sucked by a guy; there’s just too much shit that has to be set aside in order to allow a man to do something that, forever and ever, men aren’t supposed to allow other men to do.

Suck your dick and make you cum. It can be difficult because a lot of adult men think that it’s different from a woman wanting to suck them and it’s even harder to convince them that, nope, um, the only thing that is different is who wants to suck your dick… and it’s not supposed to be another guy. So many adult guys are risk-adverse these days and understandably so – again, the horror stories are out there and some of them are real so if it happened to one guy, it’s gonna happen to you, too. Guaranteed. Yet, there are a lot of guys who aren’t gay who are out there sucking dick like it’s going out of style and nothing’s been fucked up with them in the doing… but that’s still seen as an exception.

Sigh. Some of the guys who responded to this posting said it was either easy to convince them or no convincing was needed at all. Some said that they had to be convinced either in their youth or as an adult. They wanted to be sucked by a guy or they wanted to be the one to do the sucking… but. It’s understandable because, as an adult, you have a lot more to lose than being convinced to do it when younger – the only thing you had to be concerned with was getting your ass kicked by your parents if they found out – or caught you – doing this with another guy.

And those of us who were young cocksuckers felt that being able to do it was worth the risk of getting into trouble for doing it. Maybe you got a beating, a lecture, or both. Getting grounded was a given. Being told to not be friends with that nasty boy was also a given. Parents would be even more vigilant about what you were doing, where you were, and who you’d come into contact with. Still made asking a guy if you could suck his dick worth it and as strange as that might sound to adult minds. Huh? You wanna suck my dick? Um, okay, as long as we keep this between the two of us… but also knowing that it might not stay between the two of us. Worry about that if it has to be worried about and, usually, it wasn’t a worry since, again, we’d tell the other guys and if you were eager to suck dick, now you had more dicks to suck.

Cityman had asked me how I’d convince a guy to let me blow him and I said, “I’d just ask him and now it’s up to him if he’s going to allow it or not.” Cityman allowed that this was both bold and direct and I agreed that it was because I’ve always believed that if you want to know if you can suck a guy’s cock, don’t play game – man-up and let your intentions be known and let him decide whether to accept the invitation to get sucked off or turn it down and if he does, oh, well. But you do learn who you can ask and who you’d better not ask and a lot of that is gut instinct. Not even gonna try to explain that or how it works because I can’t. Sure, even I have guess incorrectly about a guy and, yeah, some guys haven’t been… polite about saying no thanks. Occupational hazard. You always protect yourself at all times against verbal and even violent objections.

Still and for a lot of us who were young cocksuckers, it doesn’t seem that it really took a whole lot to convince a lot of us to go ahead and suck that dick and find that it isn’t as nasty as everyone said it is for guys to be doing that to each other. It’ll be our secret (um, not all the time), okay? But for others? Yeah, good luck with that. Better to err on the side of caution even if, again, they’d rather not be so cautious.

Cityman says – and correctly so, I think – that if our society would just stop fucking around and give its blessing for guys to blow each other and without all of the negativity, a lot of guys would be happier for it. We could bond better with each other instead of looking at each other as competition or the “enemy.” I think he’s right about that but I’ve told him that a guy’s gonna suck dick – and be convinced to do it – even with society’s resistance to us doing that. I told him that I didn’t let this crap bother me when I was younger so it doesn’t make sense for me to let it bother me as an adult.

And I’m not the only cocksucking bi guy who feels this way. If I can convince you that it really will be good and okay if I could suck your dick, that’s a good thing and will be for both of us if you can see this as I do. It’s not so much “being gay” but it is that time-honored boys being boys thing that doesn’t stop when we become grown up boys and like so many believe has to happen.

Okay. Time to go do something else. Thanks for reading!

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Posted by on 26 February 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Day 5

Day 5 finds my thoughts “circling back” to a conversation I had with Cityman on the evening of Day 3 about whether the size of a guy’s balls is any real indication of how much cum he can produce. He’d shown me a pic from Twitter of some guy with a huge nut sack that had me wondering if this was natural for him or he had something going with him to have his sack be that damned big and bloated. Cityman opined that he could have chronic testicular congestion (and I wondered if there’s really such a condition) but, yeah, maybe his boys were so “backed up” that, well, gigantic nuts.

I regaled my protege again with my cocksucking adventure with the guy who was only three inches fully erect and the size of his balls went along with his body and how much cum he had flooded my mouth with as I was really trying to eat his very delicious cock off of him. It was a “thrill of a lifetime” to be able to get his very erect prick and his balls in my mouth and oh, so comfortably. He unloaded a huge amount of cum and, to be honest, I was a little surprised but not a drop escaped. I sat up, took a couple of deep breaths… and went right back down on him because I hadn’t had that easy a time sucking a guy’s dick since I was a kid and sucking my friends’ dicks.

Again, he came large and I was quite impressed but before I could do him for a third time, he tapped out. Said he couldn’t take anymore. Was looking at me like I tried to kill him. That means I sucked his dick very damned good. I was pleased and not so much because I wanted to keep sucking his small but delicious prick and so much that when he did his best to suck me, I stopped him so I could focus totally on sucking him.

Makes me hard just thinking about that guy but Day 5 found me thinking about this and our “fascination” with the size of a guy’s dick, balls, and how much cum he can produce and, probably, those “huge loads” often seen in porn. I dunno… there was a time, back in my younger days as a voracious cocksucker, that a guy who didn’t shoot “a lot” of stuff into my mouth would… disappoint me since a lot of us who were shooting early on was doing it prodigiously, well, relatively speaking but you might know what I mean. It would be like that big buildup and thinking that he’s really gonna shoot a lot but then he lets go and… not all that much. With some guys, so little of it that it could barely be tasted. Grrr!

I got over that being miffed thing; a guy would shoot whatever he could shoot and even I noticed, when masturbating, that sometimes I shot a whole lot and sometimes not so much. It depended, I guessed, and put it out of my mind because sucking dick was just way too much fun. I don’t recall at what point I noticed it but I got a kick out of fondling a guy’s balls and they’re “hanging low” but as I’m sucking him, they’re drawing in tight to his body and looking all “wrinkled” and just before he’d cum in my mouth. Not all guys’ balls seemed to do that but many did. Interesting!

Hey, as long as the guy was shooting something, it was all good. Later, I’d learn some interesting stuff about male anatomy and what goes on with our bodies when we ejaculate and some other interesting stuff including why some guys’ cum tasted magnificent and some guys’ shit was just plain nasty to taste. Even then, a lot of guys were very concerned about how much stuff they’d shoot and would even ask if it was a “whole lot.” I didn’t know why they were asking but if I happened to remember it, sure – it was either a whole lot, about the “usual amount” or sometimes it was like, “Holy shit – where did all of this come from!” and with guys who, I’d say, had average-sized dicks and balls.

There’s a lot of stuff running around in my head about… giving guys head. I remember getting into a “heated argument” with a guy because he said that if a cocksucker wasn’t doing it to please the guy they’re sucking, they’re doing it for all the wrong reasons… and I wholeheartedly disagreed with that because I had realized, long ago, that I wasn’t sucking dick to make the other guy happy. He would be because I’d suck him for as long as it was going to take for him to cum and, of course, I’d learned some “tips and tricks” about sucking cock and had no qualms about using them but, no – I suck dick because I love how it makes me feel and I acquired the taste already.

And the guy I was arguing with maintained that I was wrong to, basically, make it all about the guy I was sucking. It was about pleasuring him and doing it the way he wanted it done and, well, he had that last part right because guys just want to get all… pornographic about being sucked and you’re supposed to know how to suck them (even if you never did before) or submit to whatever they felt like doing with their dick in your mouth… and I wasn’t having any of that and had once stopped sucking a guy to ask him if he was gonna let me suck his dick the way I know how to suck dick and, if not, I was leaving.

I was good at following “commands:” Slower, faster, harder, not that hard, right there, deeper, or stay on the head; more tongue, less tongue, whatever, but thing was that just because I could follow such commands didn’t mean I always obeyed them since, in my mind, this was more about what I wanted to do than what he wanted me to do and, yeah, if he wanted me to suck his dick, I felt that he didn’t get to tell me how to do it and I didn’t have to do it the way he wanted if I didn’t want to. One guy was screaming at me to slow down before I made him cum and I gave him a “huh” kind of look and said, “Well, that’s what I want you to do…” but he insisted that I had to make it last as long as possible. Which I didn’t. Not out of being contrary (but I’d learn to be that way going forward at times) but because that’s not how I wanted to suck his dick. I needed him to cum quickly and, no, don’t even ask why because I didn’t know and didn’t much care. I went back to sucking him and in a way that he only lasted for maybe another two minutes at best. I was beyond thrilled to have his cum in my mouth… and he was pissed that I made him cum before he wanted to.

The way he was talking about how I should have been doing it suddenly reminded me of the way I’d heard a lot of guys talk about how they wanted girls to suck them and I interrupted him at that point to point out to him that I’m not a girl. Duh. I wasn’t even one of those guys who acted like they were a girl. But apparently the reason to suck a guy’s dick was/is to make him happy… and I wasn’t feeling that at all. See, even back in the day, a lot of guys expected cocksuckers to be submissive and do it for their pleasure alone. Probably because they were told that this is the way it was and always has been. I could understand that but if I had to choose between pleasing him or pleasing myself, sorry, dude – but I’m pleasing myself and that could include me not sucking your dick because you think I’m supposed to just bow down and do it at your whim and command and go out of my way to make it very good for you.

Yeah. Not that guy and not that kind of cocksucker. He demanded that I get back over here and suck him the way I was supposed to and that’s about the time the fight started and, well, shit got ugly. Still, this was something that I had to pay attention to because a lot of guys expected a certain behavior from me when I went down on them – it was just a thing that I didn’t always agree with how things were to go and I certainly didn’t agree with the “fact” that if you suck a dude’s dick, you’re only doing it for his pleasure.

A lot of guys still think this way but I have always contended that if I’m not going to get any pleasure out of it – and I’m not talking about being pleased because he’s pleased – well, what’s the point in doing it and more so given the number of guys I’ve blown who didn’t appreciate my efforts to get them to cum and, sometimes, being all passive-aggressive in telling me what I should have done for his pleasure. After one ungrateful dude said some shit like that, I responded with, “You got your dick sucked. You came in my mouth and like we both wanted. What the fuck else do you want?”

He felt that I should have worshipped his dick and, oh, fuck no! Another guy asked why I wasn’t making eye contact with him as I sucked and finished him and wasn’t happy with my answer of, “I was busy.” Okay, I would later learn about the “importance” of making eyes at the guy but I felt a little silly doing it but, okay, if it’s gonna get him to bust a nut faster, fine. What-the-fuck-ever. Leave me alone and let me do what I wanna do.

It didn’t take me long to realize that dudes don’t know how to get their dick sucked. From trying to force more of their dick into my mouth than I want to deal with to trying to fuck my mouth like it’s a pussy and, yeah, just talking to me like sucking his dick is the greatest honor he’s bestowed upon me. Just be there and let me work my magic and I don’t need your help doing it. If I do, you’ll know it; otherwise…

I had to temper my… temper. I had to understand that I could have not been sucking his dick – he could have said no or asked me not to… and that was a humbling thing to think about. But I learned a lot about sucking dick from women and what they had to say about some of the shit guys do that makes sucking dick for them a chore and, sometimes, a distasteful one. And, yes, I learned what not to do when someone is blowing me and being very appreciative because they didn’t have to and especially with women.

I had a moment to think about that ever-present debate about who’s better at sucking dick – men or women. Ah, man, I kinda/sorta get tired of hearing or being asked about it and more so when we can’t seem to agree on what being better at it means. For a lot of guys, if they get sucked and not enticed – or allowed – to cum this way, the blowjob was bad and so was the person giving it; the only exception is when the dick is getting sucked and some fucking is going to happen since, um, yeah, if homey busts his nut while being sucked, it’s a safe bet that if he was supposed to fuck, eh, that might not happen any time soon if at all.

I thought about the many guys who’ve told me that they can’t cum from being sucked and I thought there was “something wrong” with this and, yeah, y’all know me – I wanted to know why. Some guys, I learned, have a self-induced mental block; a lot of guys – and in order to make women happy – have been conditioned not to cum while being sucked so that she can be fucked. Okay, that makes sense and given the many times a woman has sucked me and told me that I better not cum. Gotcha, sweetie. Which, of course, creates a bit of a problem if you happen to be with a woman who wants to suck you off so I was able to learn and understand some of the reasons why a dude would say something like that – and his inability to cum this way could also be attributed to being under- or overstimulated.

And some guys want to be able to cum this way so badly that they wind up inhibiting themselves by thinking about it way too much. Just relax. Stop thinking and just feel what I’m doing. Breathe. Just let it happen. Still, what we “know for a fact” is that if a guy sucks your dick, he will make you cum and swallow it and women aren’t that fond of this. Those of you who suck cock knows the truths that rarely gets mentioned like not all guys who suck dick wants cum in their mouth and there are a women who are seriously eager to suck a guy off… and not because it makes him happy but it’s that much of a thrill for her.

I don’t always swallow. I might even “spit it out” even if it doesn’t taste bad. Sometimes, I want to see the guy cum. It depends. I never know what I’m going to do until I do it but the dick will be sucked and if he doesn’t cum, it might not be due to anything I did or didn’t do… but it might. I’d love to say that I have never failed to get a guy to cum by sucking him… but I’d be lying. It just didn’t happen. I learned to not like guys who jerk off before we meet. I know why they do it but while I’ve learned to be persistent at giving head, even I will get tired of trying to suck him off when he’s on his “second wind.” And I’m quick to tell them that if they didn’t cum, next time, don’t jerk off before someone tries to suck you off.

A guy had asked me if I get pissed off if a guy cums too fast and I said that, way back when I was younger, it used to make me mad… but I got over it. My logic said that one of the reasons why you’re sucking his dick is for him to cum so you can swallow it so, if that happens sooner rather than later, you got him to do what you wanted him to do. I have had guys lose it in less than thirty seconds. One guy busted one hell of a nut and I hadn’t even touched his dick – I was sucking his balls and I heard him say, “Oh, shit!” and – pow! He was so embarrassed, but I told him not to be. It’s okay. We have time for me to get my mouth on you so you can cum again.

My very gay boyfriend had taught me how to suck a guy off… and keep sucking him without involving his very sensitive head… by doing it to me. A lot. He was a cocksucking fiend of a very different order than I was. He also taught me that if, by chance, a guy isn’t getting hard, suck his dick anyway; it’s going to feel good to me whether he gets hard or not. To test this – and I didn’t believe him – I sucked and jerked him off until he couldn’t get it up again… then sucked him… and I’ll be damned if he wasn’t right. It felt amazing to me and he wasn’t shy about telling me how good my mouth felt on him even though he wasn’t going to get hard… or so he thought. Some gay men get a bad rep when it comes to sucking dick and my boyfriend had me rethinking a lot of things about sucking dick… including the thing that if I’m not making myself happy doing it, he’s not going to be happy.

I am a selfish cocksucker and, yep, the same way when eating pussy. Yes, I want it to be very damned good for you because you didn’t have to allow me to do it in the first place. My boyfriend, however, was right on the money with this one because when I’m having fun doing it, they’re going to love the results even though I’ve been told that I’m, well, intense and maybe too much so. Sorry, not sorry. I’m having fun. I love giving head… because it makes zero sense for me to do something that I don’t love doing. It’s not a chore and even when I haven’t felt like sucking dick, I had developed the ability to feel like it in a hurry… because it’s sucking dick. Just so terribly fascinated with the fact that a guy’s dick can be so hard… yet be silky smooth at the same time. A full sensory experience for me.

And, hell, yeah – feeling him pumping cum into my mouth. That sense of accomplishment; a bit of an ego trip because I, well, okay – lemme explain something I learned about this. You see, sucking a guy’s dick has “two parts” to it and I liken it to a battle of wills. He wants me to suck him off… and he’s trying to not let that happen. I, on the other hand, want him to cum… and not so much. When he cums, he both wins and loses… and I win. Weird way to look at it, huh? I think so, too, but it’s been proven to be this way in my many cocksucking experiences.

But I also have learned why women hate doing it. “Simply,” if you make it hard for me to suck you off, I’m not going to be happy with you; you might get your rocks off and be pleased about that but I won’t be all that much. I so very much “hate” the fact that a lot of guys think and believes that what they see in porn is the way they’re supposed to go about getting their dick sucked… like that damned facial thing. I’m literal about it; sucking you off doesn’t mean that I get you to the edge and you snatch the dick from me and jerk off and the cum goes anywhere other than directly into my mouth. Now, I’ve gotten facials… accidently. I can forgive that. But when I’ve heard a guy say, “I wanna cum on your face!” um, hold up – that’s not gonna happen because I do not play that shit at all because I’ve always seen this as a sign of disrespect and not unlike someone spitting in my face.

Yes. I am “funny” about it. I agree with my fellow male cocksuckers when they say that getting a mouthful of cum is their reward for their hard work. Stop thinking that the shit you see when you’re jerking off to porn is the way to get your dick sucked and your balls emptied. Don’t grab my head and start face-fucking me – you will regret it. I know guys see this in porn and thinks that everybody likes being face-fucked but, again, being literal about it, that’s not sucking dick and if you think I’m going to put up with it – and like some guys might – guess again. If you want to fuck my mouth – and I understand it’s an “automatic” kind of thing we just do – okay, go for it but know that if I think you’re getting too carried away doing it, I’m going to get you to not get so carried away, up to and including just stopping and looking at you in a particular way that should convey my displeasure… or I might ask you, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Lemme do this! Damn!”

One guy said, “But I thought you liked it like that!” and I said, “Did you hear me say that I did? Do both of us a favor – don’t think, okay? Christ almighty!” Yes. I’m funny about it. Don’t call me “baby” and do not ever call me a bitch, whore, slut, or anything that remotely resembles such things and I am not a “good girl.” You’re just asking for me to step off in your ass and in an unpleasant way. I know what you think is going to happen but I know what I’m going to do and how I’m going to do it… and you’d do both of us a favor if you just lie back and let me do what I’ve spent a large part of my life doing and, in some situations, I was doing before you were born.

It’s hard to not let some dude steal your joy in this. I was frowning to think that, yeah – we can be total assholes about it. I’ve told a lot of guys who I’m sucking – and they gave me problems doing it – that if they wonder why their woman won’t suck them, well, she might not tell you… but I sure the fuck will. And I know that I’m selfish enough about it that if you cum and it wasn’t what you expected, um, that’s not my problem. I had fun. You came in my mouth and like I wanted you to. Maybe you need to get rid of those expectations? I dunno. You ready to go again? No? Oh, okay (but not really but, well, you get it, don’t you?).

I don’t brag. If I do anything, I will tell you that I will do my best and everything I know how to do in order for you to not regret allowing me to suck your dick. Guys are into edging these days and, well, shit – don’t do that. You’re making me work harder and I’d rather not do that. If you don’t want to cum, well, I’ll just take it from you. Because I can and I want you to cum in my mouth. Sooner rather than later. Sucking dick is too much like hard work to begin with and, oh, yeah: The bigger your dick is, the harder it will be for me to suck it. I’ve sucked some really big dicks and have deep-throated the shit out of them… but only when the big dick’s owner just “behaves himself” and lets me have my fun with it because if he does, he’s not going to regret it.

I have never had a guy tell me to my face that I sucked at… sucking. The thing about that is, um, I don’t really care if he thought I sucked at it since this was more about me than it was about him to begin with. You came, I sucked, and you came. What a rush for me. I just don’t feel bad about it although I know I probably should since the other reason to suck a guy’s cock is to give him pleasure. Bleh. I’ve tried to be better about this but that means, to me, that I’d have to rearrange my thinking and make it all about him… and there has always been a part of me that ain’t even trying to hear that. I loved my very gay boyfriend. Loved having sex with him and loved the shit out of sucking his dick and I knew that he was very pleased at however I went about it because he’d tell me and even give me a couple of pointers I might not have been aware of.

We’d talk about this and I saw the sense of looking at it from his point of view: If you’re not going to have fun sucking cock, the guy you’re sucking might not enjoy it all that much. Doing it out of obligation is a fucked up way to do it. He fixed in my mind – and permanently so – that when sucking cock stops being the joy it’s supposed to be, it’s time to give it up. He guaranteed that this mindset works and, yeah, I didn’t quite believe him but, yeah, he was right about that. I learned to really love sucking dick and, yes, it made me love eating pussy even more than I already did.

Technique is all well and good… but if you lack the desire to give head, technique alone might get them the result they’re looking for but it’s not going to do a whole lot for that sense of total pleasure in the giving. When guys have sucked me, I’ve gotten more pleasure from guys who didn’t quite know what to do than guys who are masterful at it… and I have no idea why. I love giving guys their first cocksucking experience and they have consistently made me want to lose it in short order and that bothered me, not because it would happen but because I didn’t understand why it would and as compared to, again, someone who was both experienced and skilled at doing it.

Then again, just because you’ve been sucked doesn’t always mean that you’re gonna know how to do it. It begins to get… complicated. I think that we do tend to overthink this because, well, we’re guys – we just overthink shit and because I know this – since I’m a guy – it makes sense for me to not overthink it when I’m doing it. I do what I can do and I don’t try to do more than I’m capable of doing. Keep it simple. Be in the moment; don’t think… but feel. Let the desire drive the technique.

Sigh. I love sucking dick. It makes me feel… wonderful. Greatly sexually liberated. Sometimes, I feel… girly sucking dick. That feels good, too, because I learned that (1) it’s not just a girly thing to do but (2) it’s me not being afraid of being vulnerable and, yes, at times, at his “mercy.” Guys who get their dick sucked believe that they’re in charge of what’s happening…

And I’m here today, on Day 5 of 2022, to tell you that you’re sadly mistaken if you think you’re in charge and I’m going down on you. Allow me to disabuse you of this illusion… and allow me to expose you to my great desire to be lustily oral. Don’t make it hard for me to please you. Don’t hold it back – just let it happen.

Oh, yeah – having huge balls isn’t really an indication of how much cum will show up. Just saying.

I already know what I will be writing about on Day 6… and you’re gonna have to wait for it.

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Posted by on 5 January 2022 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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