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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Influenced

I was hanging out with a guy and we’d been shooting the breeze and getting caught up with each other when he changed the subject by saying, “Do you mind if I put on some porn?”

I shrugged and said, “Your house, your rules…” even though, at this time, I was very mindful of how… “fake” porn was with its annoying dialogs and equally annoying music.

He grins like he stole something and rushed to pop a tape into the VCR and made it a point to sit on the soft next to me but, you know, not right next to me. He’s giddy telling me about how he’d hear about this particular tape and that he just had to get it… and I gave myself a headache trying not to roll my eyes.

The flick starts and, shit, he’s got the volume turned up to very loud and he’s squirming in anticipation; it gets through the corny scenario and dialog (and making me wonder if shit really happened like that and probably not) and the very well hung guy is standing there with the petite and pretty girl sucking on his huge dick (which looks bigger than it probably really was because he’s a big guy and she’s really tiny and it’s a trick porn uses) and, admittedly, she’s doing a great job taking much of him in her mouth. I look over at him and his pants are tented and, to be truthful, I had a tent of my own; his eyes are glued to the screen and totally unaware that she’s talking to him about how big his cock is… with a mouthful of said big cock and I’m thinking she’s either a damned good ventriloquist or, yeah, this part of the flick was dubbed post-production.

She’s still working him over and my friend suddenly turns to me and asks, “Have you ever wonder what it’s like to do what she’s doing?”

I didn’t answer him since, um, I knew exactly what it was like to do what she was doing (but he didn’t know that) but he kept right on talking about it and, I think, didn’t even notice that I never answered him. To make things “worse,” he grabs the remote and rewinds the cocksucking scene and he’s going on and on about this woman sucking dick and how fascinated he was about it and, again – either talking to me or to himself – saying shit about what it’s like to suck cock and it really did get on my nerves and so much that I said, “If you want to know what it’s like to do what she’s doing, why not do it and find out?”

He let’s the flick continue but if you had been sitting with us, you would have felt that the mood in the room had changed; on the screen Mr. Big Dick is reaming out Ms. Petite’s coochie with gusto but my friend is still talking about the cock sucking part and, personally, I’m about to tell him I gotta go to the bathroom because things are getting… interesting in my pants and, to be honest, I got “tired” of waiting for him to pull his dick out and start jerking off so I could do it, too. But before I could say, “I’m going to the bathroom” he asks, “Hey, um, ah, do you think I could suck your dick? I really wanna know what it’s like to do it!”

At this point, I didn’t care if he found out something about me that he didn’t know… or that I just found out something about him. I got my dick out and said, “Go for it!” and he did (and while trying to do what we’d seen the woman on the screen doing) until I told him I had to cum and since he didn’t stop, I unloaded in his mouth. At this point, I very much wanted to get my mouth on him but no – now he wanted to talk about what he’d just done and including a confession that every since he started watching porn, he had always wanted to suck dick and like all the women he’d watched doing it and now that he did, it was a great weight off of his mind and I was happy for him but it would have been a great weight off of my mind if he’d stop talking so I could ask him if I could suck his dick.

I did get a chance to ask… and he said no and because he wanted to suck my dick again and, well, okay, I guess and sat back to let him have his fun and the only other fun I had was I got to jerk him off while he blew me this time and I didn’t like letting all that spunk go to waste but, okay – it was what it was. I did get to suck his dick a week later but he was just one of quite a few guys I had run across who became cock suckers because they watched women sucking dick in porn.

Some of them failed to be subtle about what they wanted to do and it would be funny to sit with a guy, the porn is playing, the woman or women are sucking dick and they’re commenting on it like we’re sitting there watching a football game… and I’m just waiting for them to pop the question and enduring them talking about “hypothetical” situations like, “Have you ever gotten so horny that you’d let a dude blow you?” and other such stuff before they’d finally get around to asking me if they could blow me since, um, you know, ya get pretty horny watching this stuff.

Then the confession that they’d been watching porn and been very curious about what it would be like but until now, never had the chance to do it… or, sometimes, trying to bullshit me into believing that they’d never done it before and I wasn’t buying any of it. But this… influence wasn’t just about sucking dick.

In another such moment, porn is playing, corny dialog and music and shitty editing; the woman is sucking on the dude’s dick and I could tell by the look on her face and the way she was doing it that she wasn’t feeling it all that much; homey, however, is talking about how good she’s sucking that dick (and I gave her a C- for her efforts) but he forgets all about that when the dude starts to ease his dick into her ass. I sneak a peek at him and his eyes are almost bulging out of his head as inch after inch of the big dick is going in there and – wait for it – he says, either to me or himself, “Man… I wonder what that feels like! Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be fucked in the ass?”

Um, no; I’ve never wondered about it because I know what it feels like but now I’m just sitting and waiting (with my dick painfully hard) to see what he’s either going to do or say next as he’s continuing to wonder aloud whether it really hurts as much as everyone says it is. The shorter version is that I had my dick buried in his ass after he asked and confessed that, like the guy I mentioned earlier, he’d always been curious about what it would be like to be fucked and have a nut busted in him and on this occasion, he was on the fence about it since he did find out that it can hurt going in and until you get used to such an invasion.

I’d meet other guys who’d say that they got into having sex with men because they watched porn – and not necessarily gay porn. One such guy pulled out a gay porn tape and I was surprised that he even watched stuff like that given how vocal he was about gay people (and not always in a good way) and as the men on the screen were doing their thing, he leans over and whispers – and like someone other than myself was gonna hear him – “I want you to do that to me, you know, if you don’t mind… and I won’t tell anybody that it happened, okay?”

Back in the day, the only porn available was either the infamous dirty books or 8mm “stag films” that required a projector and I didn’t think it was all that strange that a guy would (1) admit to swiping his dad’s dirty books and (2) wanted to do whatever he had read in the books. As I recall, there wasn’t much gay content and it was more likely that I didn’t personally see it (until I was much older) or the various dads in the neighborhood weren’t buying it but, yeah, quite a few guys got into having sex with boys because of them reading dirty books and wondering what it would be like since we were boys and not girls.

I’d sometimes run into a guy who’d eagerly say that he wanted to do something that he read in a dirty book… and would that be something I’d be interested in?

I’d have to say that porn can influence guys to want to try whatever they’re watching and reading (if there’s still stuff to be read). I remember when Penthouse was publishing a lot of erotic stories and some of them involved men having sex with each other… and guys wanting to find out what it was like to have sex with a guy and, um, sometimes, I happened to be there. To be honest, I didn’t always go along with the proposal and I knew of quite a few times when the guy going on and on about what he’d read in Penthouse wanted to ask but didn’t and I’d be glad that he didn’t or “disappointed” depending on the guy in question.

I was finding out that those who were influenced by porn to get some dick/ass weren’t always influenced in what I’d call a positive way; they’d see sex happening (gay or not) in some pretty spectacular ways and get it into their head that this is the way men/women like having sex and often with disastrous results when they found out that the person they were having sex with didn’t like being sexed like they were a porn star and especially if the sex was really rough. I remember meeting a guy and we’re sitting there with some gay porn on to, as he said, get us in the mood; this one scene starts with a guy bound and gagged and there’s this burly guy in biker leathers with the usual huge dick hanging out of his chaps; the burly guy rips off the gag and rams his cock into the guy’s mouth nice and deep… and the guy says, “Don’t you want somebody to do that to you?”

I said, “If someone did that to me, I would kill them and make sure they never found the body.” And he actually had the nerve to get upset with me, giving me the impression that he would have loved to re-enact that scene with me. We had sex… but I could tell he wasn’t happy that it wasn’t happening in the way or ways it had been happening in the porn flick. He even had the nerve to tell me that I wasn’t any fun, too.

It seems to me that a lot of guys very much get influenced watching gay porn – or regular porn – and just get it in their heads that what they’re watching is the way the sex is supposed to happen, whether it’s in a “loving” way or so rough and brutal that seeing some it has made me cringe and get a strong urge to commit a homicide. I was enduring yet another porn “warmup” and the flick had gotten to the point where the big, burly and muscular guy was fucking the smaller and more slender guy… and had him in a choke hold as he pounded the daylights out the smaller guy’s ass. The dude turns, looks at me and says, “That’s what I want to do to you!”

And I said, “I will put you in the hospital if you try it and, now that you’ve made your intentions clear, I’m leaving.”

He didn’t seem to understand why I didn’t want to get boned like that and even said, “It’s the way it should be done!” and I found that sentiment to be disturbing and more so when guys wanting to have sex and in the way they watch it via porn was becoming a thing. Sure it could be done like that but common sense kinda says that it’s not done in those more extreme ways and as a matter of course… and it probably shouldn’t be done as someone’s first experience. I remember being quite irate (an understatement) when I went to meet a guy and found out he had invited a friend because they wanted to DP me… and got stuck on stupid when I said, “Oh, hell, no!” and like I was supposed to be all for having two dicks shoved in my ass and I got that look on my face when they both said, “Well, that’s the way everyone does it!”

Um, fuck no they don’t… but it’s pretty scary to think and know that there are guys who watch porn and it’s their “instruction manual” on having sex with other men… or anyone else for that matter. Women object to porn because it objectifies them but I’m here today to tell you that women aren’t the only ones who get objectified by porn and as evidenced by the number of men who really do believe that everyone who sucks their dick wants to be choked while doing it or gagging until they barf or have it rammed down their throat and held there while struggling to breathe… and let’s not forget that a lot of guys think it’s da shit to get a facial or, wow, having someone putting quite a bit of their arm in their ass… or wanting to do that to someone.

Even on the forum, the topic of what porn guys watch – and how it influences them – comes up every so often and for some, it’s not merely jerk-off material – it’s the way they want to have sex and, I guess to them, the way men are supposed to have sex with other men. One guy talked about watching a gangbang flick and, I dunno, got it into his head that it would be lots of fun to be used by five or six or more guys… and when they haven’t even had sex with one guy or at all. They tend to ask questions about it because it’s what they can see in the porn that they’re watching. Indeed, I see clips of guys having sex with each other and, well, I wouldn’t do a lot of the shit that can be seen these days; slap me in the face with your dick – or slap me in the face period – and find out what I’m gonna do; I can guarantee you that you’re not going to like it. I’ve come across guys whose idea of having sex – and like they’ve seen in porn – is to pretty much beat the other guy into submission and, yep, I’ve made them unhappy when I’ve told them that, no, I don’t like it rough (and I don’t know why guys think that other guys do) and if you get to manhandling me and expect me to just take that shit, guess again… while you’re in the ICU and telling the doctor how you wound up there.

The influence porn has for some – or a lot – of guys is… pretty disturbing from where I’m sitting. I know a lot of women who tell a guy quick and in a hurry that if he’s thinking about doing some shit he saw in a porno with her, guess again, homey because she ain’t feeling any of that shit and you’d better not even think about trying to sneak it in, either. I know of guys who have been… confused over the fact that there was some “porno shit” they wanted to do and the person, male or female, they wanted to do it to wasn’t having any of it… because, I guess, they had it in their mind that whatever it was they saw, it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

I’ve maintained that porn is… an exaggeration of “art” trying to imitate life. It’s purpose isn’t so much to educate as it is to excite and stimulate but I know a lot of guys would partake of porn to be educated and then take whatever they’ve been watching as the de facto way to have sex with someone. Sure, they’re looking at it… but not looking at it. I’ve seen so much of it where the person involved just ain’t feeling what they’re getting paid to do – and you can see a lot of it in the amateur porn that’s flooding the Internet and it seems to me that some guys, since they don’t notice stuff like this, just think having sex in these exaggerated ways is not only fun but, yeah, that’s the way to do it and everyone is gonna be down for it…

Right up to the moment when the find out otherwise… and that’s often not pretty to be very nice about it. I remember watching a more… ineptly made flick with a guy where – again – the big, muscular, burly dude with the huge dick was going through all the positions with this guy over and over and the guy sitting next to me was… impressed with homey’s staying power to have fucked his guy for the entire hour the flick ran. I rolled my eyes and said, “You know that they edit these things, don’t you? That they film these things in segments then put them all together so that it looks like this guy has been fucking the other guy for all that time… and that’s not what really happened?”

I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t believe me and still didn’t when I used the remote to show him the many times the scene changed due to the editing that was done. He just said that I hated porn and, well, he wasn’t all that wrong about that because I know that porn is exaggerated and made to be larger than life and often in spectacular fashion. You could do it like that and porn is very good at showing the many, many ways to put A into B, C, and D… but the real questions is who’s gonna go along with some of those ways… and then consider the many men who really want to have sex the way they see it in porn.

Cityman loves to send me porn clips and it’s hard for me to watch them – and I do because I know he wants to know what I think about it – because even with the amateur stuff he sometimes sends, it’s… fake. It’s an act. Putting on a show for the camera. About as cliched as it can be and I can usually tell him how the clip is going to go and end… just by watching the opening moments of it because if you’ve seen it once, you’ve almost seen all of it. Sure, the sex is real enough but, yeah, I know it’s me but I can’t quite understand why a lot of guys use porn as a primer to having sex when I know how it’s done, which, yeah, takes the “fun” out of watching it. Would I really like a guy with a foot-long dick shoving it all the way down my throat and making sure I can’t back off? Fuck, no, I wouldn’t. Wouldn’t I love it to have that same thick, foot-long dick being hammered into my ass? Been there, done that, didn’t like it one bit but because the guy watched it being done like that in porn, it’s what he knows and taking it easy doesn’t seem to make sense to him.

Your eyes can deceive you so don’t trust them but when it comes to watching porn, some guys do trust what they see and, again, somehow get it into their heads that what they see is the way it’s supposed to be or how it’s to be done as a matter of course. Hell, yeah, a lot of guys get influenced by it and in a lot of ways and some have been influenced to the point where they’ve become cocksuckers or they find out what it’s like to be fucked and inseminated; sometimes it’s just what the doctor ordered and sometimes not even close and sometimes with very negative and damaging results to both mind and body.

Porn didn’t influence my bisexuality and, perhaps, as it has for some guys. In fact, I was doing a lot of that stuff before I even knew that those infamous dirty books existed so when I did discover and read them – and stolen from my dad, of course – there wasn’t anything I was reading that I wasn’t already doing from sucking dick to eating pussy, fucking and being fucked. But a lot of guys, even back in the day, were influenced to find out what it was like to get some dick and, really, it’s not that difficult to see and understand why they would be and given the many guys I knew of who’d see a girl sucking their dick or they’re fucking them and they’re wondering what it feels like to suck dick and/or be fucked… then get it in their minds to find out and, yep, even more so after absorbing some porn in some form.

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Posted by on 8 September 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Alluring

Once upon a time, being male and being called a cocksucker was fighting words. It meant and implied that you were less than manly and in the way that effeminate gay men were seen to be and blatantly so. Yet, when a guy got up the courage – or was sometimes literally in the right place at the right time and in the right moment, sucking a dick was – and is – the first thing he experiences and, more often than not, winds up changing his mind about calling someone a cocksucker going forward.

I’ve written time and time again about how I’ve heard so many guys exclaim that sucking a dick and/or being sucked by a guy wasn’t as bad as they thought it was and wonder why they never got into this before this moment. I’ve seen guys go off the rails after sucking their first cock and tasting spunk and like a switch got flipped that took them from not knowing what it’s like to totally exuberant and beyond imagination.

I’ve written time and time again how many times I’ve heard guys say to each other, “Aw, man – suck my dick!” and it wasn’t always a snappy and somewhat insulting response to something; no, they were subtly inviting you to suck their dick and chances were good that he’d be sucking yours, too. I’ve written time and time again about the many people who get stuck on stupid because they can’t figure out why two guys would even want to blow each other when, as is always said, there are too many women out there who’d be more than willing to do this for them which is fine… if all you wanted or needed was to be sucked (and not counting how glorious it can be to eat pussy – but I’m not talking about that today).

I’ve written about how I used to get rip roaring mad when someone would call me a cocksucker… until it finally dawned on me that, oh, yeah – I am a cocksucker! That “revelation,” if nothing else, stopped me from getting pissed off and even gave me some snappy comebacks of my own. It gave birth to those special moments when someone would call me a cocksucker and I’d say, “Yeah, I am one…” which, in those moments, only confirmed what they had only suspected and by whatever means that came across their minds. Or being asked so many times what’s the big deal about sucking dick or having a guy having a field day sucking my dick and not really being able to explain it other than to say, “It feels good both ways…” and like that really explains anything.

It remains the thing that a lot of guys want to experience first; it’s one thing to find out what it’s like to have a guy suck your dick and a lot of guys get… surprised because they think it’s so very different from having a woman do it and more so when a guy who’s gonna suck your dick is usually going to do a serious number on it and with the sole purpose of getting you to cum. But even this doesn’t speak that much to the allure of it until you’re the one sucking the dick and acquiring the taste. For some, it doesn’t have that immediate “impact;” it was nice or okay but the allure escapes them until one day, they understand what the allure is and, of course – and as I’ve written time and time again – men are not supposed to do this to, with, or for each other. Ever. And how, exactly, has that worked?

Not all that well, it seems. Once upon a time, it was a thing that only gay men engaged in and even then, a great many people couldn’t wrap their head around men blowing each other and as a matter of course… and that includes a lot of female cocksuckers and something I found to be a weird disconnect because, um, if they knew why they sucked dick, how come they couldn’t put 2+2 together and figure out why two guys would want to do it? To put it plainly and bluntly, if you don’t suck dick, you really can’t understand what the allure of it is.

It’s not… glamorous and it doesn’t even really look sexy in that sense but it’s never been about the way it looks; it’s been about the way it feels and how it can make one feel to take another man’s cock into their mouth and work it over until he loses control – or it’s wrested from him – and he cums. Sometimes, the allure of it isn’t actually doing it – it’s what happens when you do. And the myth that has been totally busted is that you don’t have to be gay to suck dick and something that’s a lot more prevalent today and, I’d guess, something that gets a lot of people continuing to wonder what’s the big deal or so alluring about it.

It’s just not easy to explain and I’m old friends with the allure of it. It’s… sensual. Intimate. That it remains taboo just makes doing it even more alluring. It’s naughty. There’s an… art to it and being able to combine skill and desire to get the desired result – the other guy losing his shit and losing his shit – is an ego trip to end all ego trips. There isn’t a male cocksucker I know of who wants to be known as a lousy one and that includes me. True enough, you can’t please everyone every time but it is a point of personal pride to give it the good old college try and even if the other guy didn’t like it all that much – and that’s a bummer – just being able to do it means… everything.

I’ve written time and time again about the many guys who have asked me, “What is it like?” and then my often inept attempts to explain it and “devolving” to just saying, “In order to know what it’s like, you have to do it and find out for yourself…” and because there’s no other way I know of to really answer that question. I’ve written time and time again of the many men I’ve heard say, “I’d never do some shit like that!” but then they do… and now they know like I and so many other men know. It’s alluring. Exciting. An often labor-intensive thing to do that, in the end, is worth doing. It is, again, prohibitively intimate. Once upon a time, it was a “girly” thing to do and now, to be able to suck a man’s cock is seen as being quite masculine… but I’ve always said that it takes a lot of manly guts to suck a man’s cock and take his sperm from him because the only thing that’s more scarier than sucking cock is to have that cock going in your ass.

To that end, however, I’ve said that anyone can fuck; it doesn’t really take a whole lot of skill to stick it in and fuck until you cum but to suck cock? That takes some skill and even a lot of patience and it’s not as easy as it might seem to be. Sometimes, the allure of it comes in the form of the challenge it presents and, yes, especially when there’s a rather large cock in your face and its owner is waiting to see what you can do to it… and then you show him what you can do to it and more so if/when you’ve mastered the art of deep throating which isn’t easy either. You really can’t explain what this is like to someone who doesn’t suck dick, from how it feels to do it to how it makes you feel when you do it. It’s not always a fun thing to do because some guys just make it that way. These days, guys are “all into” being submissive about it and if that’s how they feel, it works but part of the allure is about not being submissive and taking his cock and going on the “offensive” and ruining his “plans” to fuck your mouth the way he wants to do it.

Or that rush that comes when you entice him to give up his load and before he wants to… or doesn’t expect to. Or to be with that guy who insists that he can’t cum this way and then, in as less than a minute, his cock is furiously pumping the load he was sure he couldn’t deliver… and if you don’t find that alluring and a big time ego trip, I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve written time and time again of the many times I’ve made a guy lose it before he wanted to and he’s feeling some kind of way about it… and I’ve told him not to worry about it because all he did was what I wanted him to do: Cum in my mouth and because it can be so labor-intensive sure – the sooner, the better, thank you very much and when will you be ready for me to do it again?

Again, the taboo alone lends itself to a lot of the allure; you feel… nasty and wicked and yet not so much. Dicks can be sucked and you don’t have to be female or gay to suck them – you just gotta want to find out what’s so alluring about it. It’s quite the rush to be able to do something that you’re not supposed to be doing and to tell people who say, “I don’t know why you gotta do that shit…” that you do it because you can. Because despite what you think and believe, it can be done. Because you like/love doing it. It feels good to do it. And if none of these things answers your question or tells you why I or any other guy has to do that shit, I don’t know what else to tell you… other than maybe you should give it a try and find out for yourself what the allure is.

Then maybe you’ll know like I and so many other men – and men who aren’t gay – knows. My protégé often tells me how much of a “nasty critter” he feels like when he sucks cock and, yeah, something he once said that he didn’t think he could do, let alone enjoy doing. And I don’t necessarily disagree with his “nasty critter” assessment because, um, that’s how it can feel and it’s not a bad thing. I often say that it is deliciously nasty to defy the long-standing taboo to take a man’s cock into your mouth, make him hard, then get him soft again and it stands to reason that if you’re not of a mind to do such a thing, you can’t know what’s so alluring about it and, again, why it is the number one thing so many men experience as a first time and the thing we like doing more than fucking, not that this is always a bad thing but I’ve written time and time again about how much easier it is to suck cock; it doesn’t take a whole lot of time; it can be done almost anywhere; it doesn’t take any preparation other than making sure your junk is clean (with soap and water and not so funky that gagging happens) and healthy.

The allure is such that any man can do it… if he wants to and so many men, again, get surprised and even blindsided to find that they do want to suck a dick and, sometimes, not even knowing why they do. Why is it all that alluring? Um, because it’s sex even if it’s prohibited. When you’re a male cocksucker, you really do find out what so many women love… and hate about it. You find out exactly why it can be a chore to be avoided as well as such a joy to do. You find out exactly why they say having sperm in your mouth is an acquired taste and that the taste isn’t always that difficult to acquire but the “highlight” of acquiring it is feeling his cock pumping away in your mouth as well as hearing him cussing and all that good stuff and knowing he’s not in control of what’s happening… and what you’ve gotten him to do. I’ve heard some folks downplay the allure of it by saying, “Eh, you’re just masturbating someone with your mouth!” and to that end, well, they got it right and one does find that it helps sucking that cock to the creamy end and using your hands to assist in that… but if it’s oral masturbation, okay; no matter what you wanna call it or how much people poo-poo men sucking each other off, it hasn’t lost any of its allure over all the time that men have been sucking cock.

None of it. Not even the dreaded disease card has taken the allure away because the science says that there’s a small chance of catching something nasty this way and the allure is such that it appears that guys are out there sucking dick and without this in mind… but I can assure you that we’re all mindful of it and it doesn’t do much to reduce the allure of it. It is, strangely, a “chance” a lot of men are willing to take but even as alluring and exciting it is to suck cock, eh, all of us cocksuckers aren’t as stupid or careless as it appears to be because when in doubt, we’ll either slap a condom on it or don’t do anything to it at all.

But when we do, yeah – it’s alluring. Exciting. Turns you into a nasty critter. For myself, the only thing better than sucking cock is eating pussy and if you don’t eat pussy, you’re not gonna be able to relate to that, either. To the people who say that oral sex isn’t really sex, oh, get a grip and get your head out of your ass because it most certainly is sex to have a dick in your mouth and sucking on it and having its owner fucking your mouth so he can bust that nut in it… or all over your face if that’s the way you like it. Whatever happens to float your boat as long as there’s dick in your mouth. I’ve written time and time again about oral fixation and something not a lot of people understand even when they have it in some way that has nothing to do with sucking cock or eating pussy but, yeah, being orally fixated adds to the allure and excitement felt and very much helps if you are so fixated.

We male cocksuckers can be even more funny about it as a lot of women can be and we don’t always agree on the best way to do it or what size is better to suck and whether or not foreskin or the lack thereof is the ideal dick to suck but what we do agree on, to a man, is that there is not much else more alluring than sucking cock and some of us are of a mind that it is better than eating pussy (not that I agree with that and I don’t).

Such is the allure of cock sucking among men and men who aren’t gay. It’s no longer a “gay” thing to do and even the manliest man can be a cocksucker and not be seen as being less than a man for being one. Once upon a time and when someone would call you a cocksucker, the usually reply would be, “It takes one to know one!” And sometimes it really does but it doesn’t surprise me that something that used to be quite the insult to one’s masculinity is no longer seen to be so insulting and even I’ve said to guys, “Try it – you just might like it!”

Because until you do, the allure and why it’s so alluring cannot be understood. I’ve written time and time again that those of you who suck dick knows exactly what I’m talking about and those who don’t, well, hmm, you just don’t know like those of us who do suck cock does and just knowing someone who does can’t convey what’s so alluring about it and if you ask us, yeah, just watch us jumping through a lot of hoops and making ourselves sound like morons when all we wind up being able to say is…

It feels good to do it. And that’s the allure of it in a nutshell. You don’t have to be female or gay to suck a dick – you just gotta want to find out for yourself what’s so damned alluring and attractive and even addictive about it… and there are a growing number of men who are eager to find out and the taboo be damned.


Posted by on 2 September 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Appreciation

I still kinda remember the day when I happily sucked a guy’s dick… and he didn’t say thanks, dog kiss my ass, or anything; he just stuffed his dick back in his pants, gave me a nod, and went on about his business. I was devastated; I finally understood what it felt like to be used and unappreciated. I didn’t cry but I felt like it and I spent the next week or so running the encounter through my mind from beginning to end to see what I might have did wrongly to cause him not to appreciate what I’d done for him.

Every time I looked back at it, I couldn’t find anything that I did wrong; I even “obeyed” his commands to slow down, speed up, suck harder or softer, and give the head of his dick more attention. I could easily take him deep and, thinking about that in particular, he liked that and kept telling me to do that again over and over so, in a way – and maybe I was grasping at straws – he appreciated that I could eat his dick right down to his pubic bone and even did so when he came. Seeing this took some of the sting off of that used feeling but it was still pretty fucked up and more so when I was always mindful to let the guy sucking me know that I did, in fact, appreciate what he’d done because I knew that he didn’t have to agree to it at all.

It was a harsh lesson, that cold slap in the face and one hell of a wakeup call: This was a whole new ballgame and one that if I was going to keep sucking dicks, I’d better learn how to play and learn the “rules,” as it were. I realized that with my horny friends, I’d gotten spoiled and to the point where they didn’t really have to voice their appreciation – I just knew they did – but when they did, it was more confirmation that they enjoyed the experience; sometimes, just looking at them grinning like an idiot would make me feel all warm and fuzzy. That was then… and now was something else and that experience really fucked with my head and had me asking myself what was the purpose for sucking a guy off if he wasn’t going to show any appreciation?

It was an equally harsh lesson on how some guys could be. They’d feed me their dick or stuff it in my ass and their demeanor told me that all I was to them was a means to an end and that just sucked and took the shine off of how good the sex actually was. I had to sit and thing really hard what meant the most to me and whether or not I really needed praises and compliments at every turn. The good thing is that I didn’t run into a whole lot of unappreciative bastards but when I did, I had to learn to not let their lack of appreciation bother me and to face the fact that by agreeing to do this with a guy, being used was a consequence that I’d either learn to deal with or keep letting it fuck with me and my view of myself.

I wasn’t that I didn’t know that I was a damned good cock sucker; I’d had way too many guys tell me this and it stood to reason that if a guy found my work less than stellar, he wasn’t going to tell me to my face but, yeah, sometimes, he didn’t have to say anything because I was learning to read a guy’s body language as I blew them and that, more than anything they could say, told the whole story. It was an aspect I had to come to terms with as well: Did it really matter if the other guy thought I was all that or was it being able to satisfy my desire to suck dick mean more to me? I thought long and hard about this and after more deliberation – and with more dicks having been sucked – I decided that being able to suck dick meant more… but I didn’t have to put up with unappreciative assholes and more so when I could talk to a guy and tell that he was going to be an asshole about it… and then doing something that I rarely did:

Say no to them. Now if you were my idea of an asshole, there would be nothing you could say to me that would convince me to go ahead and do this with you. I actually didn’t want to be like that but something else came to mind – and while in the middle of a 69 with a guy – that, in fact, we were using each other plain and simple and things like the “common courtesy” to thank a guy for his efforts was something that could be unrealistic to expect each and every time. Idealistically, it was some fucked up shit but it was what it was; some guys would be appreciative and say so and some guys wouldn’t say anything or, if they did, they often didn’t really mean it all that much. I had to bite a bullet or two and understand that there are men out there who’d really only see me as a means to an end and nothing more than that and just because that’s not the way I behaved in these things, well, I don’t have any control over whatever went through their mind as dicks got sucked and balls got emptied, do I?

In the end, it didn’t “matter” a whole lot because appreciative or not, I sucked their dick and made them cum and that’s what I wanted to do and this was about the time when, after a furious cock sucking session with a guy, he told me that I was a selfish cock sucker. Oh, I wanted to break his nose and actually sat on my hands to keep from doing it as he explained what he meant which was I wasn’t following his instructions on how he wanted his dick sucked and his contention that I should have been sucking him for his pleasure first and foremost.

Oh, fuck that! Been there. Done that. Wasn’t at all appreciated for it at times. Decided that I wasn’t going to put myself through dealing with feeling inadequate or anything like that. I was a cock sucker and one who loved to do it and if they didn’t like it, too bad because I did get to do what I wanted to do so I could feel the way I wanted to feel. Was I being an asshole about it? Being the one thing I had learned the hard way not to like one bit? No, not really because I did appreciate the fact that he let me suck his dick to begin with and, yeah, I’d even say as much but not only had the game changed for me that fateful day, I’d introduced some changes of my own and focused on the thing that meant the most to me:

Being able to suck dick – period – and truly appreciating being able to do that and, yeah, appreciating him because, again, he could have said no and just as I had to learn how to do. Today, I see guys getting all bent out of shape over the much hated blow and go but being “smarter than the average bear,” I understood it; it didn’t mean that the other guy didn’t appreciate what I’d done to him but simply that god-damned refractionary period that sometimes affected me in that same blow and go way. Whatever. Nothing to be done about it and no point in getting pissed or feeling used since, um, I did use him to get my rocks off as well. I’d run into guys who needed to be told that their efforts were appreciated and I understood why: That being used feeling just did not feel good at all and that’s being very nice about it. I was used to guys asking me after the fact if they did it right and I wouldn’t lie to them about it even though I probably could have but even when they’d not do it “right” – too much teeth, sucking way too hard, and other things like that, I felt… obligated to tell them that, yes, you did it right but here’s what you can do to make it better for me or the next guy and in a way as to not hurt his feelings…

Because no one wants to be told that they’re lousy at sucking dick. I found that it was important to, at the least, let a guy know that I appreciated his efforts because, again and again, he could have said no and at any time. Truth was – and still is – that I very much appreciate being able to go down on anyone and if I don’t say it, I will show it… but to expect other guys to be that… courteous was, in reality, being unrealistic. If appreciation was shown or given, fine, but if not, that’s just how shit happens. I could prefer and “demand” proof of appreciation… but what would be the point and was my ego and feeling just that fragile that I had to be told that I gave great head?

Yes and no but I am a veteran cock sucker and have learned some shit… but, today, there are guys who need to have their egos stroked and massaged and expect it to happen each and every time and without fail. It’s just my opinion but guys who think like this are setting themselves up for one hell of a shock to their systems because I know that not every guy you give a blowjob to is going to always be gushing with praise for your ability to get them off. I even learned that in the rare times I failed to get a guy off, it wasn’t a reflection on me but said some shit about them and, importantly, I knew the shit that could happen to prevent him from busting the nut we both wanted him to do. Shit happens… and sometimes it doesn’t and sometimes it’s no one’s fault.

Did dicks get sucked? They sure did. Was the effort appreciated just the same? I appreciated it and I wouldn’t dare to assume that the other guy really did or not but for me, what was of greater import was I got to feed my need to have a hard dick in my mouth and, okay, I’m selfish and can admit to it without feeling shitty (and like I would in the past) because I know why I suck dick and if the other guy doesn’t appreciate it, that’s fine because if he didn’t have fun, I sure did. Sure, it’d be nice to hear some praise or other sentiments and more often than not I’ve gotten them but when I haven’t? Just the way shit goes and more so when I considered how diligently I went about seeking other men who weren’t my idea of an asshole and if I got the tiniest whiff that they were, very major deal breaker.

I understand why guys today are demanding to be appreciated but the mistake they make is expecting to be appreciated at every turn and then, if they aren’t, now they’re feeling all “used and abused” and I understand that feeling all too well but if I’ve learned nothing else, I learned some shit about men and shit that a lot of guys today need to learn as well. The sometimes unbearable truth is that you’re not going to please everyone every time you give head; it can be how you give it or it could be something going on with them and appreciation, while nice, isn’t always going to be shown each and every time. I’ve had guys tell me that I was okay and if that’s what they thought, well, okay – my ego is fine with “okay” but if he says nothing, my ego is okay with that… because that dick got sucked and those balls got emptied and if it didn’t happen the way they preferred or expected to, that’s not my problem so much and, yeah, I know better than to expect anything other than what actually happens and that doing so, more often than not, is going to get someone’s feelings hurt and sometimes badly.

You learn to grow some pretty thick skin and take things in stride. I want to please everyone I go down on… and I know that there will be times when I can’t and, yeah, that sucks in a not so good way but it is what it is and, at least for me, it’s now about not dwelling on it like I used to but to take any failures in hand and give some thought to them so as not to make those unappreciative mistakes again – and provided I was the one who screwed up and I know when I do. I’ll even get down on myself and say that I could have been better in this or that way but in all of this giving head stuff, to me, everything is a learning situation and no matter how long I’ve been sucking dick – and eating pussy – I learn something every time and, yeah, I really do appreciate it… even if I don’t say that I do every single cotton-picking time.

And if there are times when I forget to voice my appreciation, it stands to reason that other guys might not as well. At some point, you learn that you can only do what you can do and even when you do your best, the other guy not be of a mind to start gushing praises and handing out compliments for your most excellent skills. And, I think, that if the reason why you’re sucking cock is to be praised at every turn, well, you might be doing it for the wrong reason because the reality is that not every dude you suck off will be singing your praises.

Expectations can be a royal bitch and a half and I’ve seen guys sticking hard and fast to their preferences – which includes being acknowledged as a good cock sucker – so much that it’s no wonder that so many men (a) haven’t sucked a dick yet and (b) are feeling some kind of way and thinking about giving it up because that praise didn’t happen the way they expected it to. Um, really – did you make the guy cum? Did you get to suck a dick? And you’re not happy about that and more so given how paranoid some guys are about the disease card hanging over their head?

What else do you want?


Posted by on 28 August 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Anywhere, Any Time

One of the “hallmarks” or “highlights” of a blowjob is that it can be done practically anywhere and at any time and, these days, it seems like there are some guys who don’t see fit to find a place where they won’t be observed, well, except by whoever is taking the cellphone video.

And I thought I used to be bold and daring. Then again, where I grew up, there were a lot of empty apartment buildings in varying states of disrepair; living in the inner city, there were alleyways galore and many times I’d be wandering the city with someone and wouldn’t it be nice if we could suck each other off right now? Yes, yes it would! Where are we? Okay, there’s an alley over there! The thing about this was that we had explored pretty much every place we could duck into or flat out hide so we could spend some times sucking each other off and alleys were great for quickies. I can remember a lot of times walking down a street and passing an alley… and see other guys sucking and sometimes fucking in the shadows and such a “common” thing that it wasn’t seen as unusual; I’d pass by, take a peek – and not just to see any sex happening but because of warning about people jumping out of alleys and attacking passersby – and, oh, okay, two guys are in there doing… something. Keep right on walking.

We had parks in the city but none more convenient for doing something than the area around the creek that ran through the city and it was exciting to be “out in the open” and doing it but the main thrust (no pun) of this is that there could be a lot of guys in this area sucking cock… and unless you knew where to look, you’d never see or hear them. The woods in places were so dense that you could walk right by a couple of guys and not know they were there but you might hear them and provided they didn’t hear you coming and stopped whatever they were doing.

I remember getting stuck in an elevator with a guy and he was freaking out and freaked out even more when, after using the phone in the car, we learned that it was going to take some time – maybe an hour or more – before they could get someone there to get it working again and get us out. After the guy calmed down – and after he was convinced that the elevator’s brakes were working and keeping the car stuck in place – no one was more surprised than I was when he just came out and said, “Since we’re gonna be stuck in here for a while, can I suck your cock?”

I had said, “Here?” and he came back with, “Sure – why not? We’re not getting outta here any time soon so we might as well keep ourselves occupied and calm like the guy on the phone said, right?”

He had a point and we spent the three hours being stuck in the elevator sucking each other. Back then, there were no cameras in elevators but just served to prove that blowjobs could be had anywhere and at any time and not being seen doing it just worked.

I know the latest rage is to break out cellphones and video sexual acts in public… then posting them on social media and where they’re allowed. It seems to me that the dudes doing this are rather blatant about doing it wherever they happen to be, whether it’s in a park or in public bathrooms; I’ve seen clips of guys on buses and subways just going for what they know… and with other people right there… and, again, I thought I used to be bold and daring but these guys have me feeling like I wasn’t all that bold or daring. Okay, I’ll admit to having sex on a Greyhound bus traveling from Salt Lake City back home here on the East Coast; most of it with the guy in the seat next to me and some with a few girls who noticed what we were doing and wanted a piece of the action… while other passengers were on the bus and, I guess, minding their own business although at some point, I was sure the driver knew what was going on in the back of the bus and, I guessed, as long as no one was complaining about it, he didn’t say anything about it. I remember the first long rest stop we made and as the guy I was exchanging blowjobs with and I got off the bus, the driver just looked at us and kinda smiled as he also shook his head so, yeah, he knew.

I remember becoming a member of the Mile High Club and the thrill of having sex with someone at 38,000 feet… and on a plane loaded with people… and in a rather cramped space that, normally, is barely big enough for one person to occupy. It wasn’t that those close to the lavatory didn’t know or couldn’t guess what was happening in there but no one complained so, to that end, it was all good… despite some looks that suggested that my spontaneous partner and I should be ashamed of ourselves. To me, those two things were the height of being bold and daring…

And it very much pales in comparison to what I can go on Twitter and see. Some folks are taking bold and daring to new heights and every time I see one, I have two thoughts. The first confirms my long-standing position that dicks can be sucked anywhere and any time; the second is, um, oh, hell, no – no fucking way anyone could convince me that it would be a good idea to blow each other on a “crowded” bus. I’m no prude but I’m allergic to having to explain to police officers why I was having oral sex with someone out in public and then having to explain it to a judge. It would continue to be my very bad luck that the incident would wind up on the news as well.

I know that in the early days, one of the thrills of doing this anywhere and at any time was knowing that we could get caught doing it; you’d think that knowing this would activate some common sense and tell us that, nope, ducking in the alley and doing it would be a bad idea but, yeah, that’s not what happened so much. Or, if we were in one of the buildings we used for this and we heard someone moving around, that same common sense would say that being exposed in the way we were – and because many of those building no longer had defined rooms – it might be better to do this somewhere that afforded a lot more privacy…

Yeah, that wouldn’t happen, either. Besides, I’d say 99.99% of the time, if we heard someone else in the building, it was someone we knew and who wanted to get some sex in and if they happened to come across me and whoever I was with, so much the better! But to do this and where almost anyone could see us doing it? None of us were that bold or daring but, again, all of this just proves that it can be done anywhere and at any time and cellphone cameras notwithstanding or being involved at all.

It always seems like a good idea until it becomes a bad one. I’m all for spontaneous cock sucking, you know, like sitting around with a guys and there’s nothing on TV worth watching or some other boring situation and, hey, I know what we can do, you know, if you’re not afraid to do it! I know all about being in certain situations where you just know what the other guy wants to do and the feeling is very much palpable and it’s just a matter of who’s gonna bring it up and saying “no” ain’t gonna happen. But even though cock sucking can take place anywhere and at any time, um, it might be better if there’s no one else around to see us doing it… unless, of course, they’re gonna join in but even in this, we’re behind closed doors and not subject to public viewing.

I’d guess that for the guys filming themselves out in public and blowing each other are not only that bold and daring, they want “everyone” to see that, yeah – guys do suck dick. Again, I’m not a prude but I’m “happy” to live with the understanding that “everyone” knows that guys suck dick so putting it on public display is… overkill? Blatant with a huge helping of negativity that suggests that men are so horny that they can’t wait to take their cock sucking urges somewhere more private? Do guys go to public bathrooms, get in a stall, and jerk off? Yeah, that happens and I’ve been at work and have done that quite a few times myself… and with no one being the wiser as far as I knew. But I’ve never dashed into a more public restroom and be sitting on the throne and look down… and there’s a dick poking up from the bottom of the stall’s wall and awaiting some attention.

I have, on a couple of occasions, gone into the men’s room in a bar and seen a guy sucking dick right out in the open… and didn’t think much of it but of all the places I’d want to suck some dick, um, phew, in that setting? I’d rather we go to our car and do it in the back seat which, um, er, I have done a couple of times but where the car in question was parked, it wasn’t like a crowd would be standing outside of it and watching us. Even that’s pretty bold and daring but to be in the local Walmart and with men going in and out of the men’s room and there’s a guy on his knees and sucking dick like there’s no one watching it happen? Nah – not that bold or daring… and I sure wouldn’t think that it would be a good idea to break out my phone and record it… and then put it on social media.

But it all still proves that dicks can be sucked anywhere and at any time and this is one of the things that makes cock sucking so… attractive but, as they say, discretion is the better part of valor and there should be a point that someone will not go beyond. The one exception, I think, is what happens in San Francisco at times, where all the Pride folks just hang out and put their sexuality differences on display in a variety of ways… including having sex in public and with a lot of people watching… and the police don’t do shit about it. Cityman tells me about this and even sends me pics of cocks being sucked right out in the open with people watching and he’ll ask me if I’d do such a thing… and I sure as hell would since I know I won’t wind up sitting in a jail cell for doing it because I have no shame in my game whatsoever but this happening in, what is arguably the gayest city in America, well, that’s one exceptional thing… but I’d not be of a mind to be riding the bus and think that getting or giving a blowjob in that setting would be a good idea.

Let alone filming it and then wind up seeing it on social media. There are some things I just won’t do for the thrill of it; I am pretty spontaneous and that can be fun but being out in public and invoking “right here, right now?” Um, nope, like I said, I’d rather not have to explain myself to the police and having to see the judge about it. As sergeants used to tell us during weekend safety briefings, “It ain’t illegal unless you get caught – so don’t get caught!” and, yeah, no, I’m not of a mind to put my cock sucking skills on display and where there’s a very damned good chance that I will get caught… and there are a lot of witnesses who’d show up in court to testify against me. I love to suck dick… but I sure as hell don’t love doing it that badly.

Sure, I’ve had sex with an audience before… but we were behind closed doors and there were no cameras. I’ve been in negotiation with guys to exchange blowjobs and some have asked if it would be a problem if they were to take pictures or capture it on “film” and, yeah, it would be a problem for me since I wouldn’t want to go on Twitter and see myself sucking dick in ultra 4K or, to be really honest, not where anyone that might know me would see it and more so when there are some people I know who just do not ever need to know that I’m an avid cock sucker and I’d prefer to keep it that way.

Do I worry about one such person finding my blog and reading it? No, I don’t but that’s not the same thing since they’re reading that I suck dick… not seeing me doing it and, again, in stunning ultra 4K clarity. I’d have to be out of my mind to even go along with something like that and while I’m shameless about being a cock sucker, there are some things I just will not do like, again, being on a crowded bus and going to town on someone’s dick and with everyone on the bus being able to clearly see – and film – that I’m sucking dick. Nope. Might have been that bold and daring in my hedonistic youth but that was then – and there were no cameras and no social media. It was bad enough that one could get outed via word of mouth and if ya had to, you could categorically deny any allegations since there was no video evidence and who are you gonna believe – me or the person telling such a lie?

Not so easy to do when almost everyone has a cellphone that’s capable of capturing things in ultra 4K clarity and brilliance… and can be used against you in a court of law. I think that when you get older, common sense becomes the thing to pay attention to and not let that “good idea” be something that just might get you the kind of attention you might not want. Be in a pile of bodies and doing whatever? Sure – been there, done that more times than I can count and with people watching and/or participating… but behind closed doors and not even in the public view or eye and definitely not captured on any kind of viewable media.

I should probably revise my point of view to say that dicks can be sucked anywhere and at any time… but with common sense limits in place and if you happen to have a cellphone on you, don’t even think about breaking it out. If you can do what I’ve seen on Twitter and get away with it, good for you but I’m not that bold and daring here in my older age; I’m not one of those people who say that since I wouldn’t do it, no one should do it because I don’t give a fuck that there are guys doing it publicly and in the way they are and then putting it on social media because that’s them and not me. Handle your bizness. Just don’t ask me to do it and I don’t care how much “fun” it would be.

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Posted by on 27 August 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Revisiting the Bro-Job

I was sitting here listening to the Weather Channel people going on and on about Hurricane Henri and looked at my Dashboard to see that something I wrote quite a while ago about bro-jobs is still making the rounds and just might be the most-read scribble I’ve written; I wonder if there’s a way I can check that?

I saw it and my first thought was, “Hmm, it’s back.” My second thought was, “They can be nice, good for mind and body.” As I thought these two things, the archivist in my head once again flashed through the many times I’ve given a bro-job and the times I’ve gotten one because, well, I guess the guy who gave it felt like I needed one or, as it “usually” turns out, it sounded like a good idea. The archivist then pulled up every time Cityman and I have talked about this, from the silly notion that it’s only a thing straight guys get into to rhetorically asking what’s so wrong about giving one and just because. His favorite scenario is hanging with a guy, watching a game or a movie, having some cocktails and snacks and one guy looks at the other and asks, “Hey, how about I suck your dick?”

It’s not really that “absurd” a situation. I’d suppose that some might think that a bro-job only happens in case of emergency but I’ve seen them happen without any emotional stress or the pain of someone’s nuts hurting. I’ve seen stuff written about this about guys doing this to help each other out but that’s not the only reason why one might be offered and accepted and my favorite is there not being anything better to do. Stuff I’ve seen suggests that a guy who accepts or offers one could be expressing some latent bisexuality or even homosexuality and I don’t necessarily disagree with this but some straight guys I knew of who talked about that time they sucked a friend’s dick have said that it sounded like a good idea at the time and some expressed confusion over why the idea even popped into their head.

Perhaps they were curious and some guys I knew of admitted that some hair of the dog was involved but stated that just because it happened didn’t mean they were gay or anything like that but quite often the real reason for offering and/or getting one was because there just wasn’t anything better to do at the time. I know that back in the day, being bored was a good reason to get the dicks out and do some sucking. So was having a painful case of blue balls. Ditto for being emotionally stressed. Um, any reason to do it worked, to be truthful about it. Getting older exposed me to a lot of guys who’d bemoan men giving each other blow jobs and while I didn’t find that to be out of character for the time, what I found curious were the number of guys who’d tell you in a heartbeat that they’d never do it… and then rattle off a list of improbably conditions that would have to be in play before they’d let some faggot suck their dick and, even “funnier,” how some would say that they’d be so offended to be asked that they’d teach that gay motherfucker a lesson by shoving their dick down their throat… and like the guy offering one would really object to that “punishment.”

When you’ve heard how silly some guys can be trying to drop hints that they wouldn’t mind a bro-job because, you know, it would really help them out right about now, a lot of the stuff I’d read early on about the Great Bro-job Controversy was just some “faction” putting straight guys on blast and questioning their sexuality and engaging in what I thought was a lot of unnecessary psychobabble and ignoring the more simplest reason: Guys like having their dick sucked and it’s not like they don’t know that guys suck dick and, sure, it might not be all that bad to suck one… as long as no one ever finds out about it.

On the forum, the topic was discussed a while back and with many of the membership wanting to know how to ask for one and expressing their desire to offer one… and how to do that without, oh, getting punched in the face or ruining a friendship. Some of the answers provided were quite interesting but not so novel from where I was sitting and involved different version of the same “steps” to take, from how to broach the subject to just coming out and asking if the object of their lust would be interested in doing some cock sucking. In this discussion, there were more guys who wanted to give one than there were guys looking to get one, which didn’t surprise me a whole lot coming from a bunch of guys on a site for bisexuals but seeing all the responses and some of the amusing suggestions offered provided some more information that said that as far as bro-jobs go, all it takes is for one guy to want to suck dick and the other guy to say yes.

Doing it isn’t the problem – getting up the nerve to ask your bud if he’d be interested in getting his dick sucked is the problem. Some of the guys said that they thought or felt that their bud might be interested and based upon something they may have said or, more often, giving them the impression that if asked, they just might accept the offer of a blow job because they’re bros and all that. The fear of loss and rejection is real and powerful in these situations and many fear that by asking, they’re outing themselves and, yeah, they got that part right. Sure, you could just pick a moment, gird your loins, have a couple of beers, and just ask him but you’d better be ready to deal with the consequences of that action and especially if his response is like, “What? What the fuck is wrong with you?”


Because of this “common response,” there are quite a few of the members who are firmly of a mind that their male friends are 100% off-limits but, eh, it’s not hard to figure out that they’re saying this because everyone knows that friends just do not ever have sex with each other. Yeah, right – sure they don’t. As far as sucking dick goes, a whole lot of guys have their first experience with a friend and whether it was their idea or the friend’s idea and, almost “classically,” when they’re bored out of their minds and asking each other what is there to do and in some way I’ve never understood, doing some cock sucking just “comes up” and, my, my – that sounds like a great idea! The other camp is so infused with their fear of the other that dropping such an indecent proposal on a stranger – or having said stranger drop one on them – is enough to cause strokes and cardiac arrest and one’s best bet is to find a friend – or make a friend – who’d be willing to engage in some cock sucking.

That the Great Bro-job Controversy targeted straight men is… laughable. In my reading, a lot of pro bro-job guys just happened to be gay and, at the time, there was this strange push of some gay men wanting to seduce their straight male friends (or any straight guy they could get ahold of) and such an act, from what I read, was considered to be the “holy grail of gay cock sucking.” There’s even a whole gay porn genre involving straight guys being seduced and “paid” to do it. But the reality as I understand it says that, no, you don’t have to be straight to offer or accept a bro-job: You just gotta want to give or get one and good luck convincing the other guy that it is going to be a great idea.

The archivist in my head was having a good laugh at the times when I was asked, “What would you do if a dude asked to suck your dick?” and I decided to fuck with the guy who asked and replied, “I’d let him do it – why not?” and then sit back and enjoy watching them get all fucked up in the head. Or responding with, “Why? Are you asking?” and, oh, yeah, what fun it was to watch them start tripping all over themselves and trying to act like the question was rhetorical or, one time, the guy was asking for a “friend.” Or, “What would you do?” and then kicking back to see how they were gonna answer this and if they did at all… and, yes, some guys have said, “I asked you first!”

One guy was going on and on about the question that I actually got tired of listening to him and said, “Okay, stop already; if you want us to blow each other, stop playing around and just ask me! Damn!” I’ve had a lot of fun just sitting and listening to guys trying to convince me that it wouldn’t be all that bad if, um, you know, if we were to suck each other off. Depending on the guy, I would often have already made up my mind to say yes but, again, it was just too much fun watching them building up to being able to suggest it. One guy asked, after I said yes, “If you’d already made up your mind, why’d you let me go through all that shit?” Well, um, because I have a “weird” sense of humor but on the real, I firmly believe that if that’s what you want us to do, ask for it even though I know where you were going with this when you started talking about it.

Sigh. A bro-job can happen for any reason and sexuality doesn’t always play into it so much. It’s not a “thing” that only straight guys are into because any man can give a bro-job or get one… if he doesn’t mind and the other guy doesn’t mind either and even more so if no one else ever finds out about it. For some guys I knew, letting a guy blow them was way down on their list of things they’d do and only then in case of emergency – and you can reasonable say that the emergency was they haven’t gotten any pussy for x-amount of time or their balls were hurting so bad that just jerking off wasn’t going to do much to alleviate the pain. Or, as one guy said, “My head would have to be in a very bad space before I’d go for some shit like that!” and, I guess, on the assumption that nothing could or would happen for his head to wind up in that bad space and only letting a dude blow them – and give sucking dick a try – will get them out of that bad space.

If neither of you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. The reason why doesn’t matter so much except to be able to justify one’s actions in this. Not as easy as just asking your bro, “Yo, um, lemme suck your dick!” but, yeah, sometimes, that actually works and for no other reason than there’s nothing else to do.

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Posted by on 21 August 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Unrepentant

On the heels of yesterday’s scribble about “What If,” the whole topic was still kinda bouncing around in my head and how weird people are and/or can be about boys being boys and, really, no matter how old they are when they enter into the fuller meaning of the phrase.

Some guys feel badly about their youthful exploits but not so much in that “I wish I hadn’t done it” way that those who really and truly are bothered by what they did. Maybe they wished that they were older or whatever the case may be but once again, humans have the uncanny ability to justify anything we can do even if that justification doesn’t make sense to anyone else. Some guys give voice to the caveat that they didn’t know what they were doing; some guy dismiss their boys being boys moment by stating – and, often, emphatically – that since no sperm was being offered up, it didn’t mean anything or “it never happened.”

Sometimes they talk about feeling guilty over whatever youthful exploration they did and, yeah, at times tends to spawn that “what if” stuff I wrote about but absent this – and at times on the forum – those who feel some kind of way about boys being boys do a 180 and say that it shouldn’t have happened at all. I understand what’s going on with this; a lot of guys explore early and have regrets about what they did – again perfectly normal – and some decide they’re going to be an “advocate” against early exploration and in that “do as I say, not as I did” way. Understandable.

I’ve had people ask me if I have any regrets about getting into cock sucking at “such a young age” and I am unrepentant when I say, “Nope. Not one bit.” I’ve had people insist that I was coerced into it and to that I say, “Nope; not even coerced.” I know some guys were but I wasn’t one of them and despite how heinous this is, they all turned out okay, well, except this one guy but we all thought he was crazy to begin with. To those who felt that I should repent and I should be fully guilt-ridden I ask, “Does it make any sense to feel guilty about something I wanted to do?” They usually have no answer to that and some continue to try to guilt-trip me and to no avail since, as I said a lot yesterday, you can’t change what has already happened.

Why didn’t I stop when I got older and “wiser?” Um, because it’s a fun thing to do? It’s sex? Have I ever given any thought to how wrong it is? Of course I did but, again, ask me if I really cared about that because, obviously, I didn’t because, duh, if I had, things would have been different… maybe. Not going there with that one (since I did that yesterday). Did I know it was gay? Yeah, eventually made that connection even though, back then, “gay” wasn’t a widely used term that I knew of and I think I remember hearing it for the first time when I was maybe 12 or so but I knew what faggots and queers were and guys who were did, in fact, suck dick and do other things with guys… but I dismissed the “gay” aspect since, um, whew, girls are so much fun to have sex with! It’s just that I learned – and as so many guys have – that having sex with guys can be fun and satisfying, too.

If I have zero guilt about getting on the bandwagon early, I’m also very unrepentant about it as well. One the forum, there are a couple of guys who get all into age of consent stuff and I understand why they do… and I’m the one who’ll tell them that quoting today’s laws and applying them to a time where they didn’t exist in their current form doesn’t make a lot of sense but I also understand that those guys are at least a generation removed from my generation and, yes, I once did some backtracking on my state’s laws and found that when I was growing up, the age of consent was… 10 and given when I did this backtracking, I admit to having been surprised by this but, okay, that was then and “now” is a different thing. So I got started sucking dick a year early – close enough for government work and all that.

Did I know that I’m going to hell for this? Yeah, so I’ve been told and my rather snarky response to this was, “I’m sure I’ve already made me reservation in hell… and I know that I’m not going to be the only one going.” Ah, man – that response didn’t sit well with some folks and I saw reason to stop saying it like that since those who’d mention this would turn right around and start preaching and misquoting the bible and, well, who wants to listen to that… again? Bad enough the real preachers would be having spastic fits in the pulpit when ranting and raving about the sin of homosexuality… but I’m not a homosexual, am I? Even then I knew that I wasn’t so I wasn’t going to feel bad about being one of those damned homos when I wasn’t one. Today, I’ll say that I’m both straight and gay and then I’m only gay when I’m doing something gay. I understand this and while there are those who say or suggest that I feel bad about being all into boys being boys, I’ve had a whole lot of time to think about this and at every turn, nope – don’t feel bad about it at all and I remain unrepentant about it.

I’ve felt that the difference between myself and other guys is that I bothered to get suited up and dive right into the murky and messy waters of boys being boys and I know why we can take it to that forbidden zone and just like I know that society knows that we’re gonna be boys to this extent but assumes that we’ll grow out of it and because some guys do just that and go on to be very heterosexual and usually stays that way… but not always because I also know that if a guy didn’t get an early start with this, he might, as I say, show up late to the party but now they have x-amount of stuff they have to parse in their heads about it and a lot of late attendees talk about the guilt behind what they’re now doing… and I also know that it’s not really guilt in the sense of they did something they weren’t supposed to do and now they feel bad about it.

A guy I knew was telling me how he walked into his son’s room unannounced and caught him and his friend in a 69 and going for it big time and he was having quite the fit about it. As he continued on with his fit, I sat and listened while thinking that he’s pitching a bitch over something that boys have always been known to do. As all of this went through my head, he was going on and on about the evils of homosexuality and that his son had to have been coerced into it even though he did mention that while demanding an explanation from his son, the poor kid said and confessed to them doing it many times before and by “mutual agreement” – his phrasing, not mine. To me, well, I understood it and I was… amused that this raving “lunatic” wasn’t understanding it even if he’d never been exposed to it since parents since “the beginning of time” have saw fit to tell their male children to never, ever, have sex with another male… or else (and whatever that meant).

Then he put me on the spot and asked what I would have done if I walked in and saw something like that and now I’m thinking should I tell him what I would have done or tell him what he wanted to hear? I had a few seconds to consider this and think that, boy, he was asking the wrong person about this and after flipping that mental coin an untold number of times I said, “I would have turned around and left and then have a talk with both of them and calmly so.” Oh, he didn’t like that response one bit and after he insisted that I was out of my mind, all I said was, “If you were of a mind that boys can’t be boys and thought that something like this wouldn’t never happen and couldn’t, it’s not your son who fucked up – you did for believing something that’s not all that true.”

“If you think that because you busted them and meted out whatever punishment you did for your son’s participation in this and that it’ll stop it going forward, well, I hate to be the one to tell you this but there’s a good chance it’s not going to stop,” I said and while steeling myself for another tirade – and the guy didn’t disappoint but at this point, I had tuned him out but I did hear him say that he was going drag his “gay” son to church and Sunday school because his “gay” son needed Jesus and God and all that’s right and holy and he was gonna repent his sins or else. I never found out how this all turned out but my last thoughts about this was if that guy actually believed that his son was going to repent his sins for doing something he clearly wanted to do, well, he’s gonna be disappointed.

Boys are gonna be boys to this extent… or they’re not. Some will find it very much not to their liking… and for others, it’s the shit to end all shits and, nope, they’re not going to feel badly about it. It’s not just the way it is; it’s the way it’s always been and while some do repent, um, others, eh, not so much because, in their own way, they have no reason to feel guilty or repent over something they wanted to do, I mean, other than the overall reason that when you sin, you must repent which gets all into another topic of discussion I’m not going to get into at this time.

There are guys on the forum who are of a mind that those of us who turned into cock suckers early on, well, something must be wrong with us and unable to accept it when we say that, nope, there’s nothing wrong with us at all and, yeah, it happened when it did and repenting, at this point, is crying over spilt milk and thoughts of missing cows comes to mind. There are, in fact, a lot of guys who fervently wish that they had gotten into it when they were younger and this is just the older version of boys being boys even if they can’t see that it is; they are of a mind to connect this with being gay and, well, if you’re sucking a guy’s dick, “everyone” knows that it’s gay and they probably should feel badly about it (and repent and as suggested by those of a more religious bent) but not really understanding that sucking dick isn’t just a gay thing to do; it’s just that gays are more notoriously infamous for doing it…

But any guy can suck a dick if he wants to and, truthfully, no matter how old they are when they first do it. Many get into it early and when they supposedly have no idea about this or anything regarding sex… and I don’t know why we continue to keep believing something that has long since been proven not to be true. Many bisexual men are bisexual because, one day, when they and a friend were bumming around with nothing to do, decided that sucking each other’s dick would be a fun thing to do. They tried it and they either liked it or they didn’t… but they tried it and, I guess, there are those who feel that us early adopters should repent and I don’t know about other guys but, yeah, not ever gonna repent and, yeah, because there are those who feel that I should and I know that it’ll fuck with them when I say, “Why should I? That would imply that I did something wrong, wouldn’t it?”

And, morally, I did… and, so? I’m not the first one who got on board with cock sucking early and I know that I wasn’t the last and I am the very unrepentant guy who continues to have the nerve to say that boys will be boy and no matter how old they are and while you can stop some boys from being boys, you’re never going to stop all of them so pitching bitches about it is an effort in futility. It is, even in this context, bad form to coerce a guy into it – peer pressure seems to be a thing that some folks have forgotten about – but, yeah, outside of this, forcing a guy into sucking dick is fucked up… and there are guys who were forced to do it and they’re okay about that and don’t mind other guys “forcing” them to suck dick… and unrepentantly so. Times have changed to the point where “kids” these days are unconcerned about the taboo and if “Pete” and “Jack” get into some cock sucking and they aren’t 16 or older, eh, it’s not that big of a deal to them and chances are that if or when they’re told to repent their sin, they’re just gonna roll their eyes and keep doing it anyway…

Because boys will always be boys and get into sucking dick and screwing each other. I see the sense in obeying the rules and edicts and the whole age of consent thing but young cock suckers don’t “pay a whole lot of attention” to the things that gives adults fits, hives, and on their way to having a stroke. It’s not that they don’t know it’s wrong because they do… and what’s your point? It’s just sex. And given how many people – and regardless to sexuality – are having sex outside of the stated rules, hmm, I wonder how many are of a mind to repent their sins?

Probably not a whole lot. I see the guys on the forum debating this and the guys feeling some kind of way about finding out about this early don’t seem to notice that they’re in the minority; there are a lot of us on the forum who got into sucking dick before we were anywhere near any age of consent stuff and we’re just fine and dandy because we got into it early and with no guilt, no regrets, and not of a mind to repent. When I come across those who can’t seem to understand why a guy would want to suck another guy’s dick and ask why, I sometimes point to boys being boys and you’d think that if they had any idea of how deep this really goes, they’d be able to answer there own question but, nope, goes right over their head and I get that, “Yeah, but…” stuff that, on the one hand, is morally correct but, on the other? Yeah, not even close to being correct.

I’m just and still the guy who will say something about the things that gives people fits and more so when it is a part of how we can wind up being bisexual. Saying that it should never happen is… a waste of breath to put it that way because it does happen; it always has happened and will continue to happen and probably more so because youngsters today don’t have the same worries that, say, those of us of my generation had to deal with and, oh yeah, it didn’t stop us from sucking dicks like it was going out of style…

And I’m not the only one who is unrepentant about it.

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Posted by on 20 August 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: What If

A forum member had something to say about guys 14 or younger learning about sucking dick when they did and asked if things might have been different had they not learned about this when they did… and it’s a loaded question and one that I found cannot be answered since once something happens, you can’t change anything about it and trying to predict a different outcome, well, I’d suppose it’s something to think about if nothing else.

He also said something along the lines of “too many” guys 14 or younger learning about sucking dick and seeing it had me frowning because a lot of guys do learn about this early on but, again, I’d suppose that thinking that we shouldn’t be learning about this at such a tender age is pretty much par for the course but it changes nothing when you get right down to it.

I know I drove myself crazy wondering how things would have turned out had I not found out about sucking dick when I did and, at the time, doing so not in a sense of feeling any regret about it (and like some might have reason to do) but because someone had asked me a form of the question; I’d put my mind to work on it and after quite a bit of time, my brain came to the conclusion that maybe things would have been different and maybe I would have found out about it later or maybe I never would have and the whole process tended to give me headaches until my brain pretty much made me stop thinking about it when it let me know that trying to answer such a question makes no sense because you can’t change something that has already happened.

Plus, you’re trying to make a determination about something with a school of thought that wasn’t in play at the time things happened. It’s one thing to be as old as I am now and speculate about how something that happened damned near 60 years ago would have turned out if things hadn’t happened as they did… but for what purpose? One thing I did learn about this was that there are key decision points in one’s life that, yeah, can make you ask yourself later that if this hadn’t happened, well, what would have happened? What if you didn’t get married? What if you didn’t have children? I learned that you can play the “what if” game with yourself until you get a headache and… it changes nothing.

What if boys didn’t experiment with each other? It doesn’t matter what you might think about this because boys experiment with each other and always has and will continue to do so and no matter how forbidden it is. There’s this one guy on the forum who I call a Debby Downer because every time the topic of being a young cock sucker comes up, he starts quoting laws… in the country he lives in which are kinda/sorta in line with the laws we have here… and not giving one thought about the fact that those laws have rarely stopped two 12-year-old dudes from giving each other head or trying to stuff their young pricks into each other’s butt. Rarely and if ever.

A lot of guys find out about this when they’re much older and as I’ve mentioned so many times before, tend to ask, “Why didn’t I do this before now?” and then making themselves cray-cray trying to answer the question. Um, you didn’t do this before now because… you didn’t. Some guys get even more crazy about it when they’re able to recall every moment they could have done this and they didn’t. And, yes, some guys have a lot of regret about having experienced this and wish they hadn’t and, yep, get to playing the “what if” game about something that, again, can’t change anything. It happened. It was either all that or it wasn’t. The more… religious folks tend to get themselves pretty worked up over having experienced something that’s a known sin and now they’re trying to “make up” for it and that’s fine… still doesn’t change that ya did something that (1) you weren’t supposed to do and (2) chances are you thought it was a good idea at the time. Maybe it was but now your older self doesn’t think so and that’s actually pretty normal… but you still can’t do shit about it.

Cityman and I talk about this and mostly in the context of why he’s still having some “issues” with his sexuality. He can point to several moments in his past where he could have found out about this but he didn’t and since he didn’t, his very adult mind just has problems dealing with something that, for all intents and purposes, goes against everything he was taught and he’s now changing a lot of things in his head in this regard. He’ll tell me about the guys he’s met who were like me – we learned about this when we were young and, as such, don’t have much of an issue about it. Did we know it was wrong? Of course we did… and that means what? Did it stop us from doing what we did? Nope. If we could go back to that first moment and not do what we did, what would we do?

He’s asked me that and I say two things. First is no – I wouldn’t change a thing and, second and realistically, it can’t be changed. What kind of person would I be now if it never happened? I don’t know… and there’s no way for me to know but, sure, I could speculate and factor in a lot of stuff and maybe even come to the “conclusion” that if I hadn’t found out about sucking dick the day I did, I would have eventually found out about it and given the environment and all that, probably days to maybe weeks later since, um, almost all of the guys I knew were sucking dick already. I told him that, at best, I would have been delaying the “inevitable.” But it is so easy to look at this in the retrospective way of things and it’s way too much like closing the barn door after the cows have long since gone. Yeah, if ya had closed the fucking door, the cows would still be there but since that didn’t happen, well, you’re gonna need to find the cows or get new ones.

I, um, left the door open; oh, the cows got out? Hmm. I’m not the only guy who did and there were many more guys who left that door open way, way, way before I was even born. If there’s a question that can be answered it’s whether or not if you learned how to suck dick before you were 16, do you have any regrets about it? Bemoaning the fact that “too many” youngsters find out about this is understandable but many of us did. I often talk about boys being boys and, really, just what do you think that really means and what it can – and does – include? I get that there are guys who found out about this later or much later and, again, never got exposed to this early on and feeling some kind of way about guys who did… but this is one of those things where I’d say that just because you didn’t get all into this when you were younger doesn’t mean that no one should have because a whole lot of us most certainly did and we’re quite okay with it and if some aren’t, wondering if things would have been different if they hadn’t is an exercise in futility… because it happened and if one finds themselves in therapy because it did, okay – that’s a good thing and I seriously mean that but I’m the guy who’ll point out that it’s not going to change what happened; now it’s a matter of coming to terms with the fact that it did and with yourself.

Someone asked me how I justify my behavior back then and I don’t justify it so much; not only did it happen, I was into it up to my pretty brown eyes and happier than any clam you can imagine. Again, do I know I shouldn’t have? Yes. Did it anyway. I could invent a reasonable justification but what would be the point? It happened. I got 100% hooked on sucking dick and had so much fun doing it that it still kinda embarrasses me today but, yeah, I did it and wanted to. I could say that I didn’t know what I was doing and, um, even if I really didn’t, I figured it out pretty quickly and in less than a minute if I had to guess at how long it took me to figure it out. And I personally knew guys who knew about this before I did… a whole lot of guys, as I’d later discover – but that’s not really the point. We found out about it when we did. Weren’t ever supposed to. Right. Changes nothing. Would things be different if we hadn’t been boys being boys? Yes… but how different is unknown but, again, if you wanna spend time thinking about the many things that might have happened or not happened, go ahead and indulge yourself and maybe you’ll find out – and as many have – the futility in trying to determine a future that never existed.

What I do know is that I wouldn’t be who I am at this very moment if not for that “fateful” day. Who would I have been if I hadn’t? I dunno. Maybe better, maybe worse. No way to know. Oh, I wasn’t “old enough” to know about sex and stuff? Moot point because if I didn’t know, I found out about it and before a dick ever touched my lips. It could have ruined my life? It didn’t. I’m not the only one, either. Being all passive-aggressive about “too many” just makes me roll my eyes because if I didn’t learn anything from being an early cock sucker, it’s that the rules don’t mean a whole lot since it has never stopped boys from being boys in these things. Never. Not all do. Nothing earth-shattering about that but, yeah, some of them do turn into cock suckers and happy ones at that. What if they had found out at an early age? No way to answer that question since, um, they didn’t.

You can “what if” yourself silly over this and a lot of people do just that and, again, it’s actually pretty normal to do so but at some point, one sees the futility in playing this game with themselves because if, by chance, they got on board with cock sucking early on, nothing you’re going to say or think today will change what already happened; now it’s just a matter if you’re okay with yourself. Some aren’t… and some are very much okay. It’s an ever-repeating cycle of boys being boys… or not… or eventually.

Whatever. I respect that member’s opinion of too many guys 14 or younger finding out about sucking dick… and his opinion changes nothing.

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Posted by on 19 August 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Being Submissive

A forum member, in response to the increased posts and comments about sucking dick, wrote a few things about his love of sucking dick and how submissive he feels and goes about it. This is something that I’ve been paying some attention to when I think about how the dynamic has changed over time and male sexuality within the dynamic has undergone some interesting changes where men expressing their inner selves goes. Time for the time machine to get cranked up…

Guys I knew and had sex with didn’t exactly display any submissive tendencies except the one gay guy in our group but we kinda understood that because he was very happy to always be the girl, well, okay; if he didn’t run you down to get his dick fix, you knew that if you wanted to do it, all you had to do was find him and in group settings – and we would be going through a selection process of who was going to what to whom, this guy would often bring the process to a screeching halt by telling us to line up and he was beyond happy to take all of us on.

In one-on-one conversations with him, he’d tell me that he was the happiest when he could “be the girl” for the rest of the guys and that was fine but his submissive behavior went right over my head and unrecognized as such since I had no idea about it. All I knew was that he loved doing it with boys or, actually, boys doing it with him and he wasn’t like the rest of us in that we’d take turns doing it to each other but him? Not so much although there were certain guys who could suck his dick (and, yes, I was one of them since we were good friends).

The “trend” growing up with the dynamic was that effeminate gay guys were… submissive and were considered to be more “girly” than the real thing and including being stupidly easy to have sex with. Many of them lived to get the dick and felt that it was their most solemn duty to “service” other guys provided they were okay with them (and whatever processes they used to determine this). There were gay guys who weren’t “girly” at all and guys who were more of a mind to go both ways weren’t what I’d call submissive in any sense of the term but were always eager to have sex and, preferably, mutually so.

While some effeminate gay guys would and could be assertive – they didn’t always “submit” to whatever the other guy wanted to do and would take charge of things – you just knew that if you got their attention and they were “girly,” they’d be more than happy to do what a lot of girls wouldn’t do and sometimes outdo girls in the things they would do. Still, bisexual guys I’d run into didn’t display any “submissive” behavior. Some guys, like myself, loved to suck dick and some guys loved to be screwed and would want to be the first one to get screwed… but the roles would reverse and the guy who was very happy to get dicked down would now be very happy to be laying the pipe.

A lot of guys weren’t into anal but, yeah – if dicks were to be sucked, they’d be game for it and I knew a couple of guys who were more hooked on it than I was (and sometimes, annoyingly so) but in today’s terms, I wouldn’t call them submissive because they could have a field day sucking your dick… but would want to be sucked as well. The dynamic started to change in that there were guys who would prefer to treat other guys as if they were girls; they didn’t – and wouldn’t – suck dick or take it in the ass and I know that myself and other guys would avoid these dudes like the plague in the majority of times and with the exception of being in one of those moods where you just wanted to get done and reciprocation wasn’t needed… at that time.

It was about that time when I learned of the established roles in sex: Male/dominant and female/submissive – but not submissive in the sense or context the word tends to mean today but “simply” the man initiated sex and the woman “submitted” to being screwed and whatever else was on the agenda. Okay, that made sense to me and added some “pieces” to the puzzle where effeminate gay guys were involved and their desire to always be in the female/submissive role while other gay men “stayed” in the traditional male/dominant role, which would have me saying, jokingly, that when it came to having sex, someone always had to be the girl and asking the question of what happens when two guys steeped in the male/dominant role tried to get together and thinking that nothing would happen since both of them wanted to the “boy” in the deal and not of a mind to be the “girl” so much.

Interesting stuff to be learning. There were always guys who were cock suckers and that’s all they did and sometimes reciprocation wasn’t needed or required and I didn’t pay much attention to this given that there were a lot of times where I’d be happy to suck a guy off and go on about my business or, in the negotiation phase, I’d say that he didn’t have to return the favor but if he wanted to, okay – I’m not gonna say no.

And that’s the way things in the dynamic were for a long time and with other interesting changes like the “thug mentality” that erased the notion that if two men were having sex, it was no longer seen as being unmanly. But, apparently, the rise and emergence of submissive cock suckers got past me since, admittedly, my focus was on guys who were more interested in mutual satisfaction (with the exception of those effeminate gay men) and I kinda/sorta remember the first time I ran into a guy who not only wanted to be the one sucking dick but he was also hands off of him. I thought it to be a bit “strange” and learned that it’s pretty frustrating to be with a guy who was head over heels to suck my dick but I couldn’t satisfy my own urges to suck him. I guess the “good part” is that I didn’t run into these guys very often and, much later, saw that because I hadn’t, I missed what is now an important aspect in the dynamic where there are guys who are of a mind that the “only reason they exist” is to suck cock or it is really better to give than to receive.

It spoke – and speaks – to something that was a “thing” back in the late 60s/early 70s where women had told us guys that we needed to get and be more in touch with our feminine side and, decades later, hmm – there are guys who are doing just that and whether they’re sucking dick or being screwed. In either thing, they very much wanted and needed to “be the girl” in this – the female/submissive role – and in response to them feeling free and clear to express their more… feminine side. I think about the “demand” women made back then and why they did… and laugh to myself to think that they had no idea that we’d take this and immerse ourselves into it deeper than what they wanted us to do as far as letting our emotions out and being sensitive and all that.

There are a lot of very submissive male cock suckers and many of them feel that whatever the other guy wants to do is fine with them as long as there’s dick in their mouth followed by copious amounts of spunk… and they “don’t know” the meaning of the word reciprocation except to say that they could care less about it and don’t even think about even wrapping a hand around them, let alone give them some head in return. I would think that there are exceptions – there always are in any of this – but first and foremost they are submissive cock suckers who, again, are of a mind that they well and truly live to suck dick and nothing else.

Indeed, the “general consensus” is that cock sucking is a submissive act and, well, I can’t really disagree with it because, well, it is in the sense that a cock sucker submits to having a dick in their mouth but this being a submissive act goes beyond this premise and, I guess, implies that if you’re sucking dick, you do so in the more “emotional” aspects of being submissive and your whole reason for doing it is to make the other guy happy and derive one’s pleasure from his happiness alone. I admit to having an… interesting time wrapping my head around this because, as a cock sucker myself, I’ve never thought or felt like this then or now. Yes, giving a guy head is very pleasing and intimate but, um, just getting my jollies over letting him have his way with my mouth isn’t something I’m on board with and I do love having my dick sucked and of a mind that if I tell a guy not to even touch my dick while I’m blowing him, something’s probably wrong with me.

I learned some of what might be going on with this in that if a guy whose “sole purpose” is to suck dick gets handled or sucked and he cums – wait for it – it’s game over, man, game over for him. All desire to continue gets wiped away due to the refractionary period of sex and I can see why such men would rather be left alone in that regard but I admit that I don’t understand the “implied” submissiveness that has now become a big part of the dynamic. Well, I can understand it intelligently because when such guys share how they’re submissive and how it makes them feel, it’s not hard to understand what they’re saying and I do understand the part of the dynamic where very manly men are very manly men… when they’re with women but when they’re with another guy, they are very submissive and there are a lot of reasons for this behavior that, upon hearing them, yeah – they make sense and extending what I’ve learned about this, okay, submissive cock suckers. Very real and becoming more prevalent than any other time I can remember.

It’s just a sentiment that I can’t relate to; I’m a voracious cock sucker but have never felt submissive and, as such, I disagree with their position that if you’re a male cock sucker, you are and have to be submissive and, well, I’m anything but submissive in this… and, yes, I understand that it’s me and I understand that I’m not the only guy who thinks, feels, or otherwise believe that cock sucking is as submissive an act as these men are insisting that it is. Yes – guys sucking cock has “always” been seen as a girly thing to do since it is implied that women pretty much own this lot, stock, and barrel and, sure, I’m okay with this in that sense but the more deeper need to submit – and as these guys seem to have – well, I just don’t have it and neither does a lot of other guys. I live to suck dick… but I don’t live to suck dick. I find pleasure and comfort in doing it but not like the more submissive guys seem to find and take… and the underlying psychology, I think, is utterly fascinating.

I can easily put the pieces together because, as mentioned a bit earlier, I know of a lot of very manly men who have said that one of the reasons why they have sex with men and are of a mind to let the other guy dictate how that’s going to happen is that they “get tired” of always being the one to initiate sex with women and with their focus being “all about” pleasing her (and whether they actually do or not is something else) and sometimes at the expense of their own pleasure… but, okay, this is the way it’s pretty much always been when considering the male/dominant and female/submissive roles and I can see where the emergence of submissive male cock suckers fit into this and in this context… it’s just something that, again, I can’t relate to since I’ve never thought or felt that way when it comes to sucking dick and I’m more of an assertive cock sucker; just let me slake my cock sucking lust upon you and don’t even think about helping me do it and when I get done, um, open wide for me. Again, I’m not the only guy who isn’t… submissive in their cock sucking ways but, apparently, there are a lot of very submissive cock suckers coming out of the woodwork.

It’s not a bad thing but it is curious to see guys behaving like the effeminate gay men from back in the day for me. To be bisexual also means embracing one’s “inner girl” in that sense when consenting to and having sex with other men and enacting the top/bottom thing that is a huge part of the dynamic where tops are dominant and bottoms are submissive and guys who are versatile, well, they seem to be a “dying breed” and as much as I’ve been paying attention to the dynamic, I don’t pretend to understand how male bisexuality got shoehorned into this and as a matter of course. I remember feeling pretty silly to have someone explain the top/bottom part of the dynamic to me since up until the moment that he’d asked me if I was a top or a bottom, I’d never heard the terms before – but you learn something new every day and the way he explained it to me, tops were the men, bottoms were the girls and, okay, I knew about the roles in sex so that wasn’t hard to pick up on except the inclusion of what tops do and don’t do and what bottoms do, don’t do, and are expected, required, and demanded to do: Be the girl and only the girl in any of this. The “rule” was that tops don’t suck dick but, yeah, some of them do so this wasn’t as hard-set of a “rule” as it is usually implied. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that the submissive cock suckers I know of also consider themselves to be bottoms… so what I’m really seeing is the male/dominant-female/submissive roles not only being writ large but writ in a way that is allowing a lot of men to be able to fully express that side of themselves.

Still not a bad thing but still fascinating just the same. Being from “the old school” allows me to see how the dynamic has changed since I learned how to take a step back from my own biases and see what’s going on and to take in why guys are behaving the way they are in this and guys being, let’s say, “a lot more girly” in their cock sucking endeavors makes sense even when, again, it’s not something I can personally relate to. I know and accept that when I agree to suck cock, I am, in fact, submitting to the act but not submissively and in the context a lot of men are embracing. Indeed, someone “always has to be the girl” in sex and there are a lot of men who are – and have – taken this up a few notches. A lot of these guys speak to making love to dicks and, okay, I can see that even though it’s not something I “do” or think of in that sense – again, old school cock sucker here and in the old school, we never though of sucking dick as making love to it. I see it in videos and, yeah, I get it; it’s just the way the cock sucker is fully expressing himself and his love and need to suck dick… but all that “making eyes” at the guy and going about it like his dick is the best thing I’ve ever put into my mouth? Nope – not that guy at all. It’s not about respecting their choice in this – that’s a given – but it is about understanding why they made the choice they did… and I’m learning. These guys, when not with other men, are still very much manly in the things they do but are more in touch with themselves and dare I say their “more feminine” side when homey over their pulls his dick out and their submissiveness comes out to play.

The member who wrote about his submissiveness in this firmly believes that when it comes to men, it is his sole purpose to orally please them and to only take pleasure in the doing and he’s clearly not the only member – or guy – who feels this way about sucking dick. It is… interesting and, I think, an equally interesting addition to the dynamic as a whole and with those men who are dedicated and submissive bottoms when it comes to anal sex; they, too, feel, think, and believe that their whole reason for being is to take the dick in their ass and revel in it and to the point where many refer to their ass as a “pussy;” the literal-minded guy I am tends to roll my eyes to see these references but I am beginning to understand this, too, and how “being submissive” is – or could – erase the lines that have existed between gay and bisexual men with the exception that a bisexual man is still gonna give the ladies the high hard one and as a matter of course (but some gay men like pussy, too, but that’s a topic for some other time).

A lot of these guys today are behaving just like that one very effeminate and gay guy from my youth in that when he wanted to have sex with a guy, it was all about what that guy wanted to do and the pleasure my friend took from, well, being the girl in all things. When I thought about him and how he’d suck my dick, um, yeah – he didn’t just “suck” it as he made love to it and while most of the guys were very good at it, my very gay friend would make them look as if they didn’t know how to suck a dick. With that in mind, I can, intelligently, understand it even if I can’t relate to it but, yeah, there are a lot of guys today behaving just like my very gay friend from my youth…

And it’s fascinating. It’s piqued my curiosity like nothing else in the dynamic has to date… and I remain the guy who’ll talk about this even if only because someone has to. So many people do not understand male bisexuals and it’s been my “mission” to write about the things that can lend themselves to understanding and provided one wants to understand it at all.

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Posted by on 10 August 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “What Do You Like About It?”

Again, one of those questions I’ve fielded over my life when trying to explain my sexuality to someone. I’ve been incredulous for a few decades over being asked this because no one who has ever asked this question doesn’t know that guys suck dick; in my mind, if you know this, then why be surprised that you know a guy who sucks dick? Still, the question is valid – if not annoying at times – because it’s one thing to know that guys do this but now they wanna get “all up in my business” to, I dunno, to see if I like it for reasons that should be obvious but to them, not so much.

Without getting all into the oral fixation thing, it’s sex. It’s even prohibited and taboo sex and I’ve been a rebel in this cause for a long time because it makes me feel good and the other guy, too. It engages all of my senses and I can get all wrapped up in them and when he cums, yeah, even more worth the effort it took to get him to do that… and then there’s the thing where I suck him and he does the same to me and sometimes it happens at the same time.

What’s not to like about it? I figured that because of what’s believed about this being all unholy or whatever, it’s assumed that it’s so taboo that it’s not to be liked but the loophole in this belief is it’s said that we shouldn’t do this… not that it’s impossible to do it and, um, well, a lot of men have ignored this edict and probably the moment they found out about it. Seriously, if there was absolutely nothing to like about sucking dick, it would have never happened but that’s never been the case. It’s sex and with the added thing of thumbing one’s nose at the taboo which, I gotta admit, makes doing it feel even better to do it.

We live in a world that unilaterally says that the only people allowed to suck dick are women although, depending on what state you happen to live in, oral sex of any kind can be illegal and even for married people to do it; the thing about this is that most of theses laws are deemed to be unenforceable yet they remain on the books just the same. So depending on where you live, if you’re sucking dick like it’s been declared illegal or will be any moment now, you might be right about that because it just might be illegal. But as I and other military people learned, it’s only illegal if you get caught and “common sense” says not to get caught by anyone who might feel that a judge has something to say about this like being at a local make out place and the cops decide to raid the area and catch you with a mouthful of dick and now you’ll probably wind up paying a fine at the least since such things are best done behind closed doors.

None of which does much when it comes to liking it. I like it because it pleases the daylights out of me and if that’s not an acceptable answer, I don’t know what to tell you other than I know there’s a lot of intangible shit going on in the background that I just don’t have any words for… and no one does. I suck dick because I can. I like doing it. Makes me feel good to do it. What else do you need to know?

Do I know it’s taboo and immoral? Of course I do and perhaps you have me confused with someone who gives a fuck about that because if I did, I wouldn’t do it. Duh. I could get all into gaining pleasure from giving pleasure but, um, I know myself better than that; I’ve said many times that I’m a selfish cock sucker and if I’m doing it, I’m not doing it for the express purpose of making him a happy camper – and other cock suckers have told me that I’m doing it for the wrong reason and I should be doing it to make him happy first and foremost. Yeah, that’s never been me not counting one exception when I was madly in love with a guy so doing it to make him happy as well just made sense but other than that? Selfish like a motherfucker and something that I actually did have to come to terms with in my head when I asked myself some pointed questions about why I liked doing it so much.

If you could have been inside my head, you would have seen that it was one hell of a conversation. At the time, oh, my goodness – I was sucking dick like there was no tomorrow and in that period, I can count on one hand the number of times I said no. That I was carried away with it or, really, still being carried away was a given but the question I had asked myself was what was I getting out of it other than a lot of spunk? The conversation got seriously deep in my head and in ways that my consciousness often didn’t get all of the information. I liked it; could even say that I loved it but other than being rebellious about it, which absolutely worked for me, all that stuff got condensed and passed on to my conscious thoughts as, “You like it… because you like it. Furthermore, it has been determined that it makes you feel incredibly good with a few exceptions we excluded because those exceptions had no bearing on your level of liking it and it’s not your fault that the other guy made you wish you hadn’t agreed to blow him. Furthermore, it has been determined that despite what anyone else has to say about it, it is sex and it has already been determined that you do, in fact, like sex. For more detailed information, check with the subconscious division and good luck with that since those motherfuckers do a lot of shit that the conscious division knows nothing about. If there are no other questions, this conversation is now over.”

“Have a nice day.”

I accept that I like it for reasons I can speak to and for reason that I just can’t. When women have asked me this question, I would get discombobulated and more so when they sucked dick, too; I’d ask them why they like it – and that usually came back as why they do it and that didn’t always answer the question so much and, more often than not, included everything they didn’t like about it – but this was good information since there were situations where I didn’t like it for the same reasons they didn’t but when they were able to get to the part where they spoke to why they like doing it – and for a lot of the same reasons I did, well, if I like it for the same reasons you do, why are you asking me why I like it… and then acting like I’m not supposed to?

It got even funnier when gay men would ask me that question and I assumed that they asked because, admittedly, I’m not gay. I assumed that they presumed that men sucking dick was totally owned by gay men and, as such, since I’m not gay there’s presumably nothing I should like about it. Now, there’s a difference between comparing notes and finding out that, gay or not, we like sucking dick for the same reasons and a gay man asking because maybe he feels I’m encroaching on his territory or, again, I’m not gay so that means I shouldn’t like it or be doing it at all.

They’d ask and my response would be, “You’re kidding me, right? You can’t possibly be seriously asking me that question.”

What is there not to like about it? Well, if you talk to some guys, there’s plenty to not like about it and, yeah, it’s disease card time and great angst against casual encounters and it can only be done in FWB arrangements and for this scribble, I’m not even going to get into again because it’s never been a case of a male cock sucker not knowing it could be risky and it’s not stopped men from doing it just the same. You have the guys who feel and believe that the only reason to suck dick is to please the other guy and I don’t argue with them about it except when they insist that the only thing I should be liking is whatever or however he wants to go about having his dick in my mouth. Unlike a great many of them, I already learned that I’m not that kind of cock sucker because guys have tried to do – and have done – some of the same shit that these guys think is the holy grail of cock sucking… and I didn’t like it one bit nor do I appreciate being talked to in what is to me disrespectful ways, like saying to me, “Yeah, such my dick, bitch!” Uh-oh – now you done gone and done it.

Force-feeding me your dick ain’t my idea of fun nor do I consider it to be cock sucking so that and going out of your way to gag me ain’t ever going to play into my liking it and neither is shooting your load all over my face; I come from a time where putting anything in someone’s face that didn’t belong there was immediate grounds for violence to take place and if one of the reason I like sucking dick is tasting and swallowing cum, I’m at a loss to see how getting it anywhere other than in my mouth satisfies that part of the deal but I do see how doing that will get me to thinking about the many ways I can make you wish you hadn’t done that. I can forgive accidents – they happen and sometimes I haven’t been able to get out of the way fast enough but, okay, no biggie and I’ll give you a moment to catch your breath so I can do it the right way and you can cum in my mouth.

I just don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t like it. Decades ago and after getting my first mouthful of cum, I asked, “How can something that’s supposed to be so bad feel so good?” It took me “a long time” to answer the question: It feels good because it’s supposed to feel good and, as such, it’s only bad because some very dead people said so and that’s what pretty much everyone believes. I had learned that a certain religious organization also declared it taboo for women to do because it’s a form of contraception and they forbid any forms of contraception. Maybe this certain religious organization has since changed their mind about that but since I’m not a part of that, it has nothing to do with me and even more so since I happen to be male and incapable of being impregnated to begin with.

So what if it’s wrong? Again, I know it is and that, all by itself, is a good enough reason to like doing it but on the whole, yeah – I like sucking dick. It provides the same personal pleasures as eating pussy gives me except, just my opinion, but eating pussy is way better and, no, don’t even think about asking me why because I couldn’t explain it; be content to know that it makes me very happy and if I’m not gonna like it because both things makes me feel this way, I’m thinking something is seriously wrong with me and it might not be fixable.

But there’s nothing wrong with me other than blatantly breaking some rules against taking a man’s cock in my mouth and sucking on it until he gives up his cum. So much fun and quite the ego trip at times. Not always a pleasant experience and, again, I can count on one hand the number of times I was royally pissed with myself to have given head to that asshole. Is it better to give than receive? Um, I’ve never agreed with that since, at least in my mind, when I’m giving, I’m receiving… and I’m gonna get my dick sucked, too, so that’s definitely a win/win in my book. What if he doesn’t suck dick? Experience has taught me that if that’s the case, he’s not getting his sucked; we had a saying back in the day: You gotta bring ass to get ass and while this usually implied getting into a fight – if you’re gonna kick my ass, you’re gonna have to bring your ass to get kicked, too – it wasn’t that much of a stretch for me to say you gotta bring dick to get dick and then a bit further to say that if I’m sucking your dick, I’m not going to be the only one sucking dick. Again, selfish. Never one of those guys who’ll say I don’t want my dick sucked, touched, or even looked at and don’t you dare think about it.

Huge fan of reciprocation and if the other guy isn’t of a mind to be reciprocated upon, well, we’re both going to be unhappy because, as they say, is a deal breaker and more so when something will have to be wrong with me to not want to suck a dick and usually because I’m sick… and I don’t get sick often. Have I done it without reciprocation? Sure I have and even then it’s “optional;” I’ll tell a guy I’m gonna suck him and if he wants to do me in return, fine but if he doesn’t – and in this situation – it’s no big deal because I know how to get myself off. Otherwise? I guess I’m being pig-headed and stubborn to say that if we aren’t gonna be blowing each other, no one is getting to have any pleasure at all. Blame it on being from the “old school” and in a time when mutual oral satisfaction was a given but, as it turned out, sucking and being sucked just works, well, it does for me and always has which also plays into why I like it so much.

Does it have anything to do with women? Um, no – why would it? I mean unless we’re talking about me eating that pussy, I don’t see what the one thing has to do with the other but I do know that some women get totally offended about it and maybe, again, because I’m happily encroaching on their territory and some other stuff that I either don’t know about or I’ve just ignored because no matter what they might think, I not only do it but I like doing it…

Because I just don’t see what there is about it that I shouldn’t find to my liking. I’ll even admit to having a serious dislike of uncut dicks and if that ugly thing was going anywhere, it was going in my ass but, yeah, I was being silly about it and I knew I was and uncut dicks eventually got taken off the “don’t like” list so there’s nothing to not like about sucking dick. What do I like about it? Everything. Taste. Feel. Touch. Smell. Hearing him losing his shit while I’m doing it. Long since acquired the taste for spunk and if it’s nasty tasting, just spit it out and worry about getting the nasty taste out later. Someone asked me that if I were straight, would I like doing it as much as I do… and that’s a question I can’t really answer since it’s been such a long time since I was officially straight and, um, I’ve been not-straight way longer than I was straight.

Which, of course, is moot; can’t speak to a situation that I’ve never experienced and isn’t relevant because I’m not straight and I’m not gay (and wouldn’t want to be) and I do like, nay, love sucking dick.

What’s not to like about it?

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Posted by on 9 August 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Heat of the Moment

A bunch of us had been at the park across the street from my house and playing basketball since early that morning and as the sun continued to rise, it was – and as my mother would say – hotter than hell’s half acre and making me wonder why I had bothered to wash up before going out; my deodorant had “fouled out” some time ago.

Lots of men, all hot and sweaty, talking shit to each other and showboating or otherwise putting their basketball skills – or lack thereof – on display in what I’d often think was a primal example of men being competitive and “battling” to show their dominance over “lesser” men… or the team I was on was kicking the asses of all comers and had gone undefeated for the time we were playing before the heat of the day made all of us decide that it was too fucking hot on the court to keep playing; I know that by the time we decided to stop playing, my feet were on fire from absorbing the heat of the court and I was like the other guys and was a salt-crusted mess from all the sweating.

Since I lived across the street (and living alone – another story) I’d invite the rest of my victorious team to come over to get water and wash the salt crust off and after we all did that, someone made a beer run, returning with several icy cold six packs and two six packs were inhaled pretty quickly. My place didn’t have air conditioning but because the sun never shined on that side of the street, it was fairly cool and a nice breeze was coming through the opened windows, making it comfortable for us to sit and talk about the highlights of the games we’d played and won and, on this occasion, me getting props from the fellas for a spectacular block on defense which lead to an even more spectacular dunk I’d thrown down on a guy on a breakaway fast break.

I’d have to guess that the beer got the fellas loosened up to some degree because as I went about getting rid of empty beer cans and emptying ash trays, I hear one of them say, “Damn… I could go for having my dick sucked right about now!” and a couple of guys agreeing with that sentiment and after doing all that running and jumping and sweating, I thought that would be rather nice. By the time I returned to the living room, one guy had his dick out and stroking it while the other guys were giving him da bizness as only other guys can do and he was giving it right back to them but being the more sober of the bunch, I just sat there and watched the beginning of boys being boys as three more dicks came out – and now the four of them are comparing dick sizes which had me laughing my ass off and even more so when, apparently, they’d forgotten that I was there.

One guy made a good crack about another guy’s dick which prompted homey to say, “Aw, man – suck my dick!” And to my “surprise,” the guy making the crack got up, went over to the guy he cracked on, settled in between his legs and started sucking his dick. I looked at the other two; they were looking at each other and they both shrugged and it was like some “telepathy” took place between them because the guy closest to me just nodded and got between the other guy’s legs and started sucking his dick. One guy being sucked noticed that I was just sitting there watching and said, “Man, get off your ass and bring that dick over here!”

Lots of nuts got busted and as I sat recovering, I was thinking about how this kinda just happens; this wasn’t the first time I’d had guys over after a long hot day of playing basketball and with or without beer, sex would happen and sometimes involving guys who would be quick to tell anyone who cared to listen that they’d never do that shit for any reason. I put some brain power to the question and came up with the “simple” thing of so much testosterone being released while playing that we’d just get horny as fuck… and since that need needed to be taken care of right now, well, why not? Every so often there’d be a guy who would be like, “Nah, man – I ain’t doing that shit!” but he, too, would give in to the heat of the moment and wind up being damned glad he did.

And in every instance, at some point, someone would say that nothing would be said about this. In most of the times, dicks were sucked and sometimes asses got fucked and I’d often be amazed at how playing a really exerting game could bring out some stuff about guys who, if you’d met them under different conditions, you’d never guess that when they got overheated, man, the things they’d do and, again, some of them being very publicly vocal about their dislike of men who had sex with men. It never surprised me that they’d be able to justify their behavior and sometimes by saying, “Aw, man, you know how it is – a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!” or as one guy said, “Better to take care of this now because ya might not get a chance to do it later, right?”

Totally understandable but I was getting a master class level lesson in justification. One day, one of the guy’s stopped by and we were talking about general stuff, like the weather, how bad the job market was and other such things when he cleared his throat and changed the subject to what happened the other day. My first and unspoken thought was, “What about it?” and as if he heard my thoughts, launched into an explanation of why he “went along” with the rest of us and sucked dick and, um, um, took a couple of dicks in the ass. First he blamed it on the beer; then on being very horny; then the “everybody else was into it” thing; then it was because he was kinda on the outs with his old lady and he knew that she wasn’t gonna give him any when he got home and his balls were hurting badly.

And I just sat there listening to him and wondering why he even felt the need to explain it to me but the master class I was inadvertently attending taught me that when guys do something they don’t normally do, explaining their reasoning and justification for doing it just needs to be done. I felt that there was another reason for the explanation as well as for him being there and it didn’t take me long to figure out what that was but I was content to sit there and watch him work his way toward asking me if we could suck each other off. And, no, I wasn’t surprised one bit because it wasn’t the first time I’d had such a visitation. As he popped the question – then launched into a stammering explanation of why he asked, well, I knew why because during the last heat of the moment session, we’d blown each other and he’d come back to suck me off again later in the session and saying something about how good my dick tasted. I figured it was all the beer he’d drank that was talking but now that he was sitting across from me, probably not so much. Dicks got sucked; I’d gotten “tired” of listening to him going on and on about why sucking dick was just something he liked, stood up, pulled down my shorts and underwear and walked over to him; he stopped talking, looked up at me, blinked, and started sucking me.

We wound up on the floor in a 69 and I had a stray thought that for someone who “didn’t do this all of the time,” he was an amazingly good cock sucker. But the “fun” part was after the fact and him launching into yet another explanation of why what we did made sense to him and other stuff that I admit to not paying attention to… because I’d heard it before albeit in different forms. Guys get all hot and sweaty and horny and getting the dicks out just somehow made sense plus, you know how it is, you get that beer buzz which just makes ya even hornier and, well, it all boiled down to boys being boys and I won’t tell if you won’t… and it never surprised me that someone would pay me a visit for some one-on-one action. This guy’s… dissertation included his thoughts about being surprised that I sucked cock and how good I was at it, prompting me to say, “I should be; I’ve been at this for a long time now.”

No need to get into the details and even if he wanted to hear them, he had something else on his mind like closing his mouth around my soft dick and getting it hard again and we were back on the floor again. Afterwards and as he was about to go on his way, he was… embarrassed? I wasn’t sure of his “mood” as he expressed his appreciation and understanding his situation and a version of he’d like it if I didn’t mention this visit to the other fellas, a sentiment that had me laughing on the inside because of the ten or so men who’d often gather at my place after a hard day of playing ball – that included him – we all knew that we were cock suckers and if I were to mention that he stopped by to see me, all of those guys would have known why he did… since they’d paid me such visits themselves.

And I thought I sucked a lot of dick in my pre-teen years. I got to thinking that it was often more than the heat of the moment after playing ball; things in the city at that time were bad; jobs were hard to find and some of the crew were in and out of relationships and like you’d change your socks so there was a lot of stress that one could just feel in the air and had me thinking that when men were at odds with stressful situations, “strange things” could happen like finding some comfort in sucking dick and with a group of guys who were pretty much in the same boat at a high level of thought. Sure… some of the crew would easily blame their actions on the beer they’d guzzle on the hottest of days and, well, man, you know how it is, right? I did know but while they found reason to justify their cock sucking, I had no need to do so since I’d been one for quite some time but if they felt or thought that I was one because of the overall mood and the heat of the moment, I was happy to let them keep thinking that until they eventually found out – in our one-on-one sessions – that the heat of the moment and drinking beer wasn’t the reason why I sucked dick and it was nothing close to being “new” to me.

I was… amazed at how easily some of the guys took to it and how in the early going would sit there with their mouths hanging open to see two guys they thought they knew locked into a “vicious” 69 and, as one such guy had said, “Well, everybody else was doing it so I figured why not?” The truth was probably more like he’d gotten even more horny watching his friends getting sucked and, yeah, figured why not? In the early going, the usual caveats of “I’ve never done this before” or “It’s not something I do all of the time” and other such disclaimers were offered up… and summarily dismissed because as one guy told me during a break so everyone could rehydrate and recover, “I don’t know why we even say that shit – we know we like this shit and will take any opportunity to do it.”

Apparently so. Even with the angst going on about homosexuals, this group of guys had a different point of view and wound up having their minds changed about the “evils” of sucking dick and that being screwed wasn’t as bad as everyone said it was. They’d blame it on being all worked up after playing ball (and guzzling beer) but from where I sat, it happen way too often for this to be the only reasons why, after being out there and playing, having sex wasn’t what I’d call spontaneous, not like it was the first time it happened. That day I admitted to being shocked when, after the “usual” guy talk about pussy and women, the guy sitting next to me muttered, “Fuck this…” and had me unzipped and out and sucking me before I fully realized what was going on; I heard a guy say, “Check that shit out!” and a few comments… then silence… then the only sounds other than traffic going by were the sounds of dicks being sucked and lots of moaning and groaning.

One guy asked, “What the fuck just happened?” and I was, at the moment, at a loss to pondering the question, let alone put together an answer, mostly because I didn’t know and definitely because of the guy who was sucking on my balls now and urging me to get it back up. A lot of… secrets came out that day but were justified in the ways I’ve mentioned but as such sessions continued to take place, I don’t recall anyone voicing their need to justify what they did although one guy would, one day, say to the group that a man has needs and sometimes, you know, a man gotta take care of them right away. This was, by chance, the same guy who said that he was okay with sucking dick and being suck but drew the line at being fucked… then he got fucked… and would, in later sessions, demand that someone stop fucking around and get over here and fuck him.

One day saw one of the fellas giving me the high hard one and he had whispered in my ear, “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” to which I replied, “More than you could ever know – now shut the fuck up and bust that nut in me already…” I just found it… interesting how playing basketball in the summer heat could bring out the most interesting things in guys who, publicly, decried homosexuality but in more private settings? Not so much and could justify their actions against what they’d say. That one day had me replacing the big jar of Vaseline; I had bought it a few days earlier and that day, it got wiped out to the point that when I looked in the jar as I was about to drop it in the trash, if I hadn’t known it had been a full jar, there wasn’t any trace of Vaseline in that jar. And everyone in attendance was walking funny when it was all said and done.

What happened? They blamed it on the beer and vodka purchased that day… but I was of a mind that there was more to it than that and at a high level of thought that boys really don’t stop being boys just because they’re now all grown up. While the fellas were of a mind to often repeat their justifications for their actions, I was content to sit and listen and learn some stuff about this phase of things and more so since I got to keep right on having sex with guys and no matter what their justifications were for it. I realized that they weren’t trying to convince us – they were trying to convince themselves that it was really okay to get some dick and being all hot and sweaty and horny after playing balls was, at best, a convenient excuse. Whatever, dudes, and whatever makes you feel comfortable about yourself.

That summer taught me that the guys I regularly played basketball with were very comfortable with it and, again, to the point where the usual after game banter wouldn’t happen and we’d get right to sucking and/or fucking each other silly and any previous thoughts about hitting the court when it got cooler were forgotten; sometimes, we’d be surprised that by the time we wore each other out so much that no one could get it up, it would be dark outside and the street lights were on. I lived in that place for about three years and the events of that first summer wasn’t confined to the following summers; it seemed that once they got a taste of sex like this, any time, any weather, was a good time to get some dick and for many, no matter how much pussy they were getting.

Being in the heat of the moment and literally so. Leaving guys to their own devices and when there was nothing else going on and, yeah, toss in a few six-packs and occasionally something harder and more potent and, well, it just happened. One of the things I had to figure out was how and why a couple of the guys who, at first, loudly proclaimed that they weren’t into this shit and wasn’t going to do it… but, moments later, oh, yeah – they’d be into the shit and doing it like there was no tomorrow. I thought that it was maybe a few things, from not wanting to be left out to not wanting to be seen as being afraid or, as one such guy said, “I ain’t no chicken-ass punk!” Many of the crew that first day were first-time cock suckers… but you wouldn’t have been able to guess that given how quickly they took to it and the guy who pounced on me was a first timer… and sucked my dick like he’d been at it for as long as I’d been.

Fun times. Very educational for me, too.

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Posted by on 8 August 2021 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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