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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Schlobbing Da Knob

As I write this, somewhere in this big world we live in, someone is giving someone else a blow job… and the person giving it might not be female like we all tend to expect and hold true to. To bake your noodle a bit more, the person sucking on a dick is not only male but he’s not even homosexual and, again, as we all tend to expect and hold true to.

Now, those of you who suck dick knows the fun of it… and how much of a pain in the ass it can also be and, as it turns out – or always seems to be – there are those who just can’t figure out why a guy would even want to put another guy’s dick into his mouth and do some stuff over an indeterminate amount of time until the other guy ejaculates.

I’m here to tell you why… and because of two reasons. One is obvious – we’re not supposed to. The other should be even more obvious but, nah, not so much and because many find it too incredulous to see it:

That shit feels good when you do it. This isn’t as much a lesson in what oral fixation is as it is… let’s say… a down and “dirty” look at this and sticking to a cold hard fact – and the pun is implied and necessary: It just feels good to suck dick. I hear a lot of men talk about how they like to make the other guy feel good and when they can do that, it makes them feel good… and I ask myself – and sometimes ask them, “What are you not telling us about this?” Very few guys talk about how it makes them feel and what it means to them. Some guys talk about how submissive it makes them feel and how much they enjoy being or feeling submissive and, okay, that’s fine if you happen to be a submissive kind of guy – but not all of us who suck dick and in fiend-like ways are so submissive and, yeah, some of us actually don’t give a fuck whether the other guy is as happy as he expects to be because taking the dick into our mouths is, plainly and simply, all about getting our jollies to do something that, again, we shouldn’t be doing.

Someone asked me a long time ago what I’m thinking about when I’m going down on a guy and it’s taken me a long time to learn how to put those thoughts into words that, hopefully, makes sense – and sometimes it doesn’t. There’s a lot of things going through my mind and, interestingly enough, the sure knowledge that I shouldn’t be getting ready to entice this guy to cum in my mouth is right at the front of the line and, equally of interest, that thought never really goes away – I just don’t pay any attention to it and I am, indeed, think about how much I’m going to enjoy this and right along with thinking about all the things that might make me think, during the fact or after it, that, fuck… that wasn’t as much fun as I hoped it would be.

Now. Those of us – male and female – who suck cock will tell you that when we do it, we’re not thinking about anything but, yeah, we are… but you’d have to ask someone what’s going on in their head and then hope they can tell you – did I mention that this is not easy to do? I’m not only thinking the things I’ve already mentioned, I’m thinking about not thinking about what I want to do or, don’t think – just feel. I’m thinking about the end result while not thinking about it; the analytical part of my mind knows that it might happen and it might not but let’s do all we can to make it happen.

I’m thinking about how he tastes, feels, smells, and even sounds… and while thinking about – but not really thinking about – how all of this is making me feel and how those feelings, at any given point, can be all over the place from the sheer and naughty thrill of it to being indifferent about what I’m doing and including having second, third or fourth thoughts about doing it in the first place… and that none of this is really enough to make me stop what I want to do, feel, and experience.

As I’m going about sucking that dick, it feels incredibly good… to me, anyway. My heart is racing, I’m sweating something fierce and I can feel my own lust making itself known… and while giving some thought to that point in time where he’ll be sucking my dick and how that’s gonna go and feel and, hopefully, to that spunky ending that those of us who loved to be sucked wants to experience.

There’s a kinda weird sense of thinking and feeling; it’s paying attention to what you’re doing – technique and all that kind of stuff – and not really paying attention to it but just feeling it… and, oh, my, it feels magnificent… well, as long as the other guy ain’t doing something to make it feel anything other than magnificent. And to that end…

Some guys talk about how they prefer to have the guy they’re sucking to be in charge of the blow job and, indeed, there are a lot of men who truly believe that they’re 100% in charge here… and I hate to tell you – and them – that you’re not; you are, in fact, at the mercy of whomever is sucking your dick… and especially if I’m the one sucking your dick. I’m thinking – but not really thinking – that this ain’t about you and things aren’t really going to transpire the way you want them to because I’m constantly thinking – but not really – about what I’m going to do… or maybe not do and all based on how having your dick in my mouth is making me feel.

Some guys talk about how they feel when the other guy denies them their seed, you know, to make it last as long as they can… and that’s fine… but I just might be thinking – but really more feeling – that I might not want to wait “all day” for you to do what I want you to do… or maybe I do. I know it sounds crazy but it’s not really what I’m thinking but what I’m feeling… but thinking about what’s going to make me feel heavenly while also giving some thought to how he’s feeling… and while not giving a fuck how he feels because, for me, this ain’t and never has been about him.

Yeah… it’s like that when you wanna get seriously real about sucking cock. I’ve had people suggest that when I suck cock (or eat pussy), I’m being selfish and that my efforts should be all – and only – about pleasing them… and I’m not saying that they’re wrong about that… they’re just not right about it. Yes, I am thinking about pleasing them… but that’s not really why I suck dick – I do it because I just love doing it because I love the way it makes me feel, from slutty to good beyond my ability to put into words other than to say it satisfies me to give someone head. And unless they tell me otherwise – and sometimes they do – if I’m being satisfied doing it, it’s gonna “rub off” on them. And with men, I’m going to get that mouthful of spunk I’m also looking forward to experience and feel all that receiving it means… and in some interesting ways given how my mind works.

Some practitioners of fellatio tend to get… upset when the guy they’re practicing their art upon releases his sperm too soon and I used to be one of them until I understood that, um, one of the reasons why I’m sucking on his dick is to get him to do just that and if he does it sooner rather than later, that just works and is still very satisfying. He might be embarrassed because he did cut loose before he wanted to and I’ll tell them not to worry about it because it made me very happy that he did and, um, didn’t it really make you feel good to bust a nut? It did? Okay… so what’s the problem here? Oh… you didn’t want it to go like that? Ha… you act like you really had a choice in the matter! But, let’s not get into that and let me ask you something – do you wanna go again? I’m game if you are.

Maybe that refractory period has taken him out of the game – it happens and there’s not much we, as men, can do about that. There’s that very insane sensitivity thing that feels good and not so much and, yep, I get it – been there, felt that, like it and hate it. Still, the thought is did we do what we wanted to do; deeper, did I do what I felt like doing when his cock was quite hard and giving me all kinds of heady and delicious sensations that involved all of my senses?

If so, “mission accomplished;” the ravening, cock sucking beast that lives inside me has been fed. If not, let’s do it again if you can and if we have the time to. And, unbeknownst to him, if I’m having a fantastic time giving him head, when he cums, um, I might not stop sucking his dick because, okay, it might make him insane and he might be “out of the game” but it feels good to me to suck on his soft dick, gently and carefully until he gets hard in my mouth and now he’s ready to cum in my mouth again.

Not because it may or may not make him feel good – because it make me feel so damned good… and what we don’t always talk about for some reason is that it’s supposed to make us feel good to either suck dick or eat pussy. Not talking about that token giving head shit; I’m talking about going down on someone until they act like you’re trying to give them a taste of death by sex, not because of how that’ll make them feel but because of how it makes us feel to get them to the edge… and unmercifully shove them over kicking, screaming and, oh, yeah, feeling good about being sent into the orgasmic abyss.

I know I had one hell of a good time doing it – and I hope you had a good time as well. I know that in this, there’s no guarantee that the other person will walk away feeling horribly good about what just happened; the only thing I can be sure of is how I felt when I was doing it and, most of the time, I. Feel. Glorious. Did I do something wrong? Sure, if you wanna consider the forbidden nature of sucking a man’s cock and making him spill his seed in that fashion – let alone consuming it – but that’s what makes it feel so damned good.

And that, my friends, is the real and often unmentioned reason why guys suck cock: It just fucking feels good to do it and it’s a bad thing for us to do. Consider the question I once asked myself: “How can something that feels so good be so bad?” The answer is: It’s supposed to feel good, that’s why. It’s meant to feel good and, get this, your body doesn’t give a fuck whether the person blowing you is male or female… but your mind does and, well, um, my mind doesn’t give a fuck… while obeying the social programming that says I should give a fuck and not do this… and just ignoring it.

Because it feel good to do it. It’s not about being done – that’s a whole different series of thoughts and feelings. Guys do wonder why women, the de facto owner of this, don’t really like doing it or just won’t… which is the part of the program where I’ll tell you that if you really want to know why your girl ain’t keen about giving you head, go suck a dick and find out… but you’ll also find out why women like doing it…

Because that shit just feels good to do it. Is there really any other reason to suck dick or to eat pussy?

 
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Posted by on 16 July 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Any Advice?”

One of my favorite forum topics to peruse is any that some guy is asking advice on how to suck a dick. Sometimes, the question gets asked and the OP will tell his version of doing this and asking other guys what their tips and tricks are and, sometimes, you get a guy asking and you get the impression that he really has no clue how to suck a dick or there’s always that one guy who is chomping at the bit to give head but is, strangely and oddly, unsure of how to do it.

Guys respond to posts like this and, as I expect, the answers all over the place with each guy telling what he likes to do, how he does it, stuff like that but what I rarely see – unless I mention it and then because it’s something I know – that what works on one guy might not work on the next one… or the same guy and depending on a bunch of things.

Some guys are just naturals at it right out of the gate and I don’t think you can point to any one thing that would account for this. You’d think that a guy who has ever had his dick sucked would – or maybe should – pay attention to how that was happening but what they learn is that getting your dick sucked and sucking a dick isn’t as related as one may think but, sure, if you were to pay attention, you could get at least a basic, general kind of idea.

Still, that really tells you how getting sucked affects you and you do become aware that what worked today might not work all that well the next time and I’m sure there are a lot of us who get our dicks sucked and with the understanding that we’re really at the mercy of the one doing the sucking and whatever we want the end result to be might not be what the person doing the sucking has in mind.

Guys talk about this with focus on technique, like the one guy who recently responded to the current topic saying that allowing copious amounts of saliva is the cat’s pajamas, while other guys talked about other techniques and depending on whether the recipient is cut or not. I’m not ever gonna say that finding out this stuff from other guys isn’t helpful because it can be… but you still have to figure out for yourself how to suck a dick.

When I’ve been asked this question, I usually say, “Suck dick like you’d want to be sucked…” which usually works unless the guy has never been sucked – oops. In that case, it’s let your feelings dictate (no pun) what you do to the dick – don’t think, just feel. A lot of guys correctly say that you should pay attention to the guy you’re sucking and listen to whatever he might be saying, how his body is reacting to whatever you might be trying… and all while trying to actually work your mouth and tongue on the dick which does require a bit of focus and more so if/when the guy has your head in a vice-like grip and happily thrusting into your mouth…

Which, in my opinion, is face fucking and not cock sucking – but I digress.

Sure, you could ask him how he likes to be sucked but, nah, that would make it seem and sound like you don’t know how to suck a dick, huh, even when this ain’t your first rodeo. And don’t we just assume that if/when someone is going to blow you, they should know exactly what to do and how to do it to produced the desire effect?

And don’t some of us go away feeling disappointed or somewhat displeased because the guy blowing you either failed to get you off or didn’t do it in a way you found to be insufferably pleasing? Sure, technique plays into this in a big way, like keeping your teeth out of the action as much as possible and, yeah, it’s my opinion that technique alone ain’t gonna cut the mustard or, er, um, get the spunk flowing; without the passion and desire to drive the techniques you’ve learned, well, things may not go as well as desired or expected.

So what’s the best advice? Do the best you can and don’t try to do more than you’re able to do. If it turns out that what you’re doing ain’t working for either of you, um, ask homey what usually works for him and then figure out if you can actually do it.

Because a good cock sucking session isn’t just dependent upon your ability to do it – it depends on the other guy just as much and the first time you blow a guy, well, it’s usually a guessing game most of the time; you won’t know what’s gonna work until it actually works. Like, some guys can’t be enticed to unload their nuts unless a lot of deep-throat action is happening and that’s fine… if you’ve mastered the art of doing that and, really, if you’re able to do it at all.

Some guys don’t like a lot of “head work” and not just because of the inevitable and highly unnerving sensitivity thing but an “excessive” amount of attention to that knob will make homey blow his load way before he wants that to happen. Some guys like it slow and very deliberate while some guys want it to feel like you’re trying to suck the color or skin right off their dick. Some guys prefer more tongue than actual sucking – and then some guys like to be sucked hard, some guys don’t.

It’s bad enough that you have to figure out what’s gonna work and what won’t and measured against what you’re able to do… and with the understanding that you could very well succeed in getting home boy to unload his nuts… and he’s thinking he just got a bad blow job.

I sometimes don’t think that some guys even think about why women don’t suck their dicks in the way they’d like it, like all those guys who turn to other guys because “everyone knows” that if a guy sucks your dick, he’s gonna get you off and there are some guys who assume that if they suck homey’s dick, they’re gonna get that spunky reward for their effort… but they don’t take into consideration that most men are conditioned by women not to cum in their mouth or at all during oral sex. So what can wind up happening is two guys being very disappointed that it didn’t happen or it took forever and a dark day before it did.

I know guys who give their all to make the other guy cum… then get pissed when they can’t make him cum… and the other guy is pissed due to this failure and, of course, it’s the guy doing the sucking who is at fault here and, because…

I don’t think that they consider that what’s going on in the other’s guy mind plays into this as well and, yup, whatever might be bouncing around inside your own head may not lend itself to a good cock sucking experience. On both sides of this, you know what you’d like to happen, you know, what the end result is gonna be – he wants to unload (preferably) in your mouth and you want him to… but how that’s gonna happen is still up in the air and depending on a lot of things and many of them I’ve mentioned here and probably a few more that haven’t crossed my mind at this point in my scribbling, like expectations and how, more often than not, what you expect to happen isn’t what really happens or it happens in a way, um, you didn’t expect.

So what advice is good, sound and guaranteed to work optimally? Even I don’t know that so again, do the best you can do with what you can do and what you have to work with. I say this because some guys are size queens; if the dick ain’t as long and as thick as a tall redwood tree, they’re not interested in literally paying lip service to it… even though a lot of guys find that sucking a really big and thick cock isn’t as easy as it may look (yeah, thanks for that, porn!). I’ve heard guys say, “I could barely get my mouth around him!) and talking about how much their jaws were aching and instead of sucking the guy off, a hand job was required to accomplish things.

You just don’t try to do more than you’re physically able to do and I even think that when they’re being “forced” to do more than they’re capable of, it makes sucking dick a very unpleasant thing to do.

At the end of any day, all you can do is the best you can do; maybe it’ll be good enough, maybe it won’t. Sometimes, when the expected result doesn’t appear, maybe it’s “your fault,” maybe it’s “his fault,” and sometimes, it’s really no one’s fault – it’s just one of those moments or situations that’s beyond anyone’s ability to control or otherwise do something about, like some of those times when you can be happily sucking away on a nice hard dick… and, suddenly, it goes very soft; did you do something wrong or is there something wrong with him?

Well, no, not really; guys do get overstimulated and when that happens, shit just kinda shuts down or he’s under-stimulated and the tire goes flat and in either case, it’s something no one can control because whether or not this takes place doesn’t have anything to do with the dick – check your head for the answer because it’s how your brain is dealing with what’s going on down there that has everything to do with it, even to the point of wanting the sperm to flow so much that it’s not gonna happen. And, sometimes, because we’re conditioned to hold onto that nut for as long as possible, we do wind up being our own worst enemy and some cock suckers get very unhappy when the other guy cums too fast.

And like they really don’t know how any of this works from a physiological point of view but what both the giver and receiver do know that if it happens “too soon,” it’s game over and that just takes all the fun out of sucking dick.

Shit happens or, in this case, shit doesn’t happen; ah, man, that asshole Murphy really knows how to fuck up a potentially good time, doesn’t he? You’re just not gonna know if what you know is gonna work or not until you actually do it and then be able to either pick up on the clues the other guy may be giving or otherwise adjust on the fly to produce the required and desired result: To make him cum and getting that sense of satisfaction because you got him to cum.

I’m out…

 
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Posted by on 11 June 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Is It Really a Role in Life?

Yesterday, on the “new forum,” it looks like someone revived an older post that had a poll attached to it that asked men if sucking cock was their role in life… and for some reason, the wording rubbed me the wrong way a little and, once again, I’m thinking that the OP wasn’t aware of the power of words and, for me, seeing the word “role” kinda poked me in the ribs, not enough for me to be truly offended but I didn’t like what the word implies.

Today, I went back and read some of the comments that reactivated this old posting (originally posted in 2014) and, as I expected, a few guys declared that, yes, sucking a man’s cock for the sole purpose of pleasing him is their role and a few got into some interesting detail to back up their position. Not to be outdone, a couple of guys said they haven’t sucked a cock yet but, sure, if and when they do, it’ll hopefully be their role as well.

Even as I write this, I can feel my inner cock sucker recoiling and cringing at the word “role” because it implies that it’s my duty to take a guy’s dick in my mouth and worship the living daylights out of it and, perhaps in my own view, slavishly so. One of the things I noticed that’s important is a lot of the guys are bottoms and have adopted – and adapted – themselves to be of service and while some may not really object to being serviced in this manner, they almost literally live to blow guys.

That’s fine and, after further review, I don’t really have any objections to anyone who feels this way while recognizing that, um, nah, it’s not my role to service men orally… it’s just a thing that’s been a part of who I am for so long that it’s like anything else I’d normally do: If I have a chance to suck a dick, it’ll get sucked and we’ll both go away happier.

I often talk about the sexual roles men align themselves with in this, namely, tops and bottoms, and having studied this for quite some time, it’s really very familiar to me since it nearly duplicates the “normal” boy/girl behaviors we all know about… and some folks rail against because it’s too “gender binary-ish” as well as a source of sexual objectification and a few other things that some folks are just flat-out offended by.

We’ve long accepted that sucking cock is a girl thing to do and, no, I am not trying to be offensive to any women reading this – I’m just speaking to the mindset that has always been in place and before any of us were even born (let alone the other folks in our familial line). Which is why some guys are… skittish about sucking dick and enough to convince them that they would never put their mouth on another man’s cock because, again, that’s a woman’s role, job, thing to do, use your term of choice here.

A lot of guys who suck dick do say that it makes them feel girly, bitch-like, etc., and, for the most part, those “negative” feelings don’t bother them – they revel in the odd sensations of being a man doing “girly things…” like getting to their knees and servicing any willing cock they can get their mouth on. But is it really a role – and all that the word means and implies – or is it just a thing they really like doing and to the exclusion of all else?

A lot of bottoms are very submissive in their adoption of the female/submissive sexual role and, again, ladies, put away the sharp objects because I’m just again talking about something I learned in school. I find it interesting that those who pitch a bitch about the gender binary rant and rave against it and as if it shouldn’t exist when I don’t see how it’s possible for anyone to escape it unless, of course, they reject their gender – it’s what they think but, perhaps, not really how they behave… but in this, one can say, without any real doubt, that guys who are bottoms make that binary switch when they assume the female/submissive role in sex which, historically, includes sucking dicks… and it’s their role and, perhaps, even their “sworn duty” to submit to some serious cock worshiping.

I’m thinking that bottom guys have taken this to a new level, if what I’ve been observing over the last decade or so is any indication. I can’t honestly say that I can remember the last time I heard (or saw) a woman say that she’s a cock whore or a cum slut… but I see a lot of guys saying this and I’ll even admit that at one point in my life, uh, yeah, I was quite the cock whore myself – any guy, anywhere, any time but with one difference that, if nothing else, is unique to me:

I wasn’t doing it to make him happy; I was all cock whorish because it made me very happy, well, until I started running into some guys who felt that it was, indeed, my role in life to service them without resistance or complaint.

Homey don’t play that shit… but I recognize that there are guys who, really, live to play that shit, to accept that it is their role or job to suck cock on demand (as it were) and be extremely grateful to be able to service a guy. So if a guy wants to say that this is their role in life, okay – I’m good with that but, again, I recognize this is a “personal preference” kind of thing with me. Yes, I love to suck dick… it’s not my role, job, duty, or any other word you care to use here. It is something I learned a long time ago and, yes, indeed, I learned to love doing it but I’d be lying to you and myself if I said that my passion for doing this is aimed solely on the guy being sucked.

I get it – my mind just doesn’t work like that and I’ve been… called out a few times for my thoughts about this and as if I’m a cock sucker for all the wrong reasons and have been asked that if I’m not sucking cocks to make the owners happy, why am I doing it?

Um, because it feels good to do it? Because it makes me quite happy to be doing it? I’ve had a long time to examine my… position about this and I learned a truth about myself that, at first, was hard to accept but couldn’t be denied so, okay, if what I’m doing to make myself happy happens to also make him happy, that’s a win/win for both of us but, nope, not doing it because it’s my role or job to suck his dick, not my sole purpose to go out of my way to please him. It’s a quirk of my personality and one that isn’t in-line with a lot of other guys who love to suck dick in that when I do it, it ain’t about him so much as it is about me and, admittedly, selfishly so.

I sit back and observe these things – and while setting aside my own thoughts, feelings and view of this – and what I see is… fascinating. It’s not what guys do in this regard but why they’re doing it, that and how the M2M sexual role of being a bottom is being fleshed out and constructed to, indeed, be a role, a sexual purpose in life and more so when you hear guys talk about being a top or a bottom and what the expectations of these roles are. A lot of tops say that it’s not their role or job to suck dick – that’s what bottoms are for and a lot of tops are insultingly arrogant about it – they will tell you that it’s your job to make him happy and you should be honored to service him and in any way he wants you to.

And the “scary” part is that there are bottom guys who are very, very willing to take on this role and as it is being defined and carried out these days. Once upon a time, guys who placed themselves in this role were universally said to not be masculine except in appearance…

…and that, friends, wasn’t a good thing by any stretch of the imagination. Today, it can be said that in this, we’ve grown up a lot and it’s being established that a guy can be a cock worshiping bottom and still be very masculine and in any way you wanna define that… while embracing a sexual role that, again, since time immemorial, has been said is a woman’s thing to be doing.

It can be seen as a continuation of the task of breaking down and discarding those ages-old concepts and notions about sex and, I think, this is a good thing but, yeah, I have a bit of a problem with sucking cock being a life-long role; the word has a great deal of power and had I been the one to create the poll, it’s not a word I would have used… but I don’t know, at this moment, what word I would have used in its place.

People talk about the fluidity and flexibility in bisexuality… but the concepts of top and bottom and their defined roles, in my opinion, reduces said fluidity and flexibility and, just as the boy/girl thing has been forever locked into place, much of the boy/boy (and maybe even the girl/girl) stuff is also being locked in place via the male/dominant and female/submissive roles that were defined way back when… and roles that even bisexuality hasn’t been able to get away from. Then again, I’ve said that trying to diss the binary things in this is, well, insane and is, at best, an intellectual exercise of sorts (and for lack of a better term).

I’ve said that in sex, someone has to be the guy and someone has to be the girl and, yup, you most certainly and definitely can be a guy while being the girl in this but that doesn’t really change the dynamics of the roles themselves – they do appear to be unchangeable except for the participants in either role and, yeah, the word is being used properly in this part of my rambling.

And if a guy wants to declare that it is his role in life to suck dicks and solely for the purpose of servicing men and submitting to their desires to be pleased in this manner, sure, homey, go for it; revel in it and do what you gotta do. I know it’s not my role or sole purpose in life and I’m okay with that and, again, that’s just a quirk in my own personality and, yes, I will get very seriously pissed the fuck off if some guy tells me that it’s my job to suck his dick and go out of my way to ensure his complete happiness and satisfaction; that’s almost certain to get him punched in the face at the worse, cussed out at the least. If I have a role or job in this, it’s to make myself happy and I’m all about making myself happy.

And, yeah, I happened to pick up on the fact that my reaction to “it’s your job” is similar to the reaction of a lot of women; they’d be happy to suck your dick… as long as you don’t say or imply that it’s their role/job to do it; I’m thinking that’s a good way to make sure she will never suck your dick again and, I’m thinking, is my real objection to the use of this word and more so when I’m probably not the only guy who’d look at their love of sucking dick as a role, job, obligation, or duty.

Words have great power… and I’m still wondering what word I would have used had I created the poll in question; that’s gonna require a lot more thought, it seems. One of the reasons I’ve kinda “gone off” about the use of this word is to also illustrate that as a bi guy, we’re not really all the same when it comes to how we look at “common” things, like sucking cock. It’s something a lot of us do and something a lot of us just absolutely love to do (right along with eating pussy, you know, in case you’ve managed to forget this) but at the end of the day, it’s not what we do it’s why we do it and what we think, know, or even understand about our desire to do this.

Do I like/love sucking dick? Sure do and that’s been long since established. Is it my role in life? Oh, hell, no it isn’t and, again, if there’s a role to be assumed, it’s to make myself a happy camper first and foremost because, um, duh, if blowing some guy ain’t making me happy, there’s no point in doing it at all and having him assume or otherwise imply that because I am a cock sucker, it’s my role, job, etc., to please him, well, he might wind up getting very disappointed; I do it because I want to, not because you think I have to.

I don’t knock the guys who feel it’s their role in life – it is what it is for them. At a higher level of thought, though, I find it disturbingly interesting to see more and more men being so… locked into one specific mode of sexual behavior. The thing I enjoy about seeing stuff like this is that despite decades of experience, I’m still learning some stuff; I’ve seen this go from one of the worst things two guys could do with each other to being almost routine and absent of the stigma that’s always been attached to guys blowing each other.

Still, the word “role” is still… bothersome but I’ll get over it because, in this context, it’s not about me and my mindset about it; it’s about all the other guys out there and what they think/feel about what they’re doing and why, that and it seems that once a guy decides he’s gonna be a top or a bottom, it never seems to cross their minds that these… roles are a lot more interchangeable and, perhaps, should be approached with versatility in mind… and maybe, just maybe, we – as bi guys – haven’t quite gotten there yet or, perhaps a bit more accurately, we haven’t gotten back to this “mid-point” yet.

One of those back in the day moments (and you had to know it was gonna show up): Cock sucking was a mutual thing; if I suck your dick, you suck mine. You didn’t have to if you didn’t want to but, yeah, if the cock sucking wasn’t going to be mutual, it just didn’t happen – unless you were a guy who, today, would be ID’d as a gay bottom – not talking about these guys so much.

Even then, some guys would be “forced” into what I’ll call submissive cock sucking and for such guys, well, sucking the dominant male’s cock was, yuck, their conscripted role in life: They existed just to suck cock, nothing more, nothing less in the minds of many guys; if you were gonna act like a girl and suck dick, well, there you go, fella; get on your knees, bitch, and suck my dick and it had better be good. Back then, if you came at a bi guy like this, get ready to defend yourself because them’s fighting words.

Not so much today given that a lot of guys who are self-professed cock and cum whores use the word “submissive” a lot and, indeed, they see it as an act of submission and, I think, without thinking about the fact that a guy who wants his dick sucked is also submitting – it still takes two to tango, after all, doesn’t it?

Still can’t think of a word to replace “role” in this and perhaps my problem is that by using this word, choice is being taken away? I’m gonna go play Minecraft or Prey and think about this some more while doing some internal adjustments to not be “irritated” over some words being used in this new version of the M2M dynamic.

 
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Posted by on 19 May 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Another One of Those Questions

“Which do you like the best – eating pussy or sucking dick?”

Typical when bi guys are talking but it’s the question itself that I continue to find so revealing in that it enforces that “either/or” school of thought that, I dunno, is part of being a “typical” person. The question implies that one thing is better than the other and, sure, it can be viewed as such depending on where one’s head is about either thing specifically and oral sex in general.

Of course, some guys who’ve not sucked a dick let the membership know that, in actuality, they had no point of reference in which to provide an answer to the question; kinda hard to say whether you like sucking dick more than eating pussy when you’ve never sucked a dick, right? Still, it’s good to know that those guys do wanna suck dick.

But what does it say about how we think about this stuff? A lot of things in our lives are based upon preferences, that which we like versus that which we don’t like so much. I found it a bit odd that some guys said that they do like eating pussy but prefer sucking cock more and I kinda expected such responses before I actually read them.

Either thing is all that easy to do from a physical point of view; when you add on how the person you’re sucking or eating may or may not react, well, your results, as a giver of head, may vary including having moments where doing either thing hasn’t been your idea of fun.

Bisexuality bridges a gap, you know, that place that’s between straight and gay and is often seen as the best of both sexual worlds… yet we ask questions like this that, at best, only serve to slice and dice things and, often, unnecessarily so while perpetuating that “either/or” mindset.

It is to note – and also as expected – that some guys said both are the best, including yours truly… but not many guys said this and I wonder if the guys who said that they like sucking dick the best – and other than being truthful, mind you – were thinking more about their experiences than they were performing the acts themselves.

Methinks this is a significant difference in perspective.

I could spend a few hours telling you everything I love and “hate” about giving someone head; I could regale you with hours of stories of epic successes and failures giving head but, sure, I like both the best because, um, I do, in fact, love giving head despite the difficulties and varying results… because it kinda/sorta doesn’t make sense not to like giving head – period.

The results are what they are and mean what they mean… but the act itself, well, if ya can’t find the pleasure in it, I don’t know what to tell you except maybe that thinking more about the act and the pleasures it provides more than focusing on how things turned out.

Bisexuals are plagued with a lot of these either/or questions that “implies” picking a side, if you will, which semantically defeats the premise of bisexuality: It’s not men or women, it’s men and women. It’s not that sucking dick or eating pussy trumps each other although, when based on one’s experiences, one can be better than the other but doesn’t – or shouldn’t, in my opinion – be trumped by the fact that giving someone head is a lot of fun… even if the person you’re giving head to doesn’t share that assessment.

 
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Posted by on 8 May 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Addictive

There are a few things a guy discovers once he gets around to sucking a dick and swallowing a load. Usually, the first thing is that doing it isn’t as bad as they may have thought and the usual and next thing that sucking a guy off is pretty damned addictive; many guys say that once they do this, they can’t seem enough of doing it and some guys report that after consuming a load of spunk, they’re feeling pretty damned amorous.

Both the amorous feelings and the addictive qualities of cock sucking often surprises a lot of guys and while I’d say it’s not something they’re overly concerned with, they do wonder what the fuck is going on…

And I’m the guy who’ll try to explain it, beginning with the whole oral fixation thing and saying, to keep this short (and since I’ve mentioned it numerous times), that it feels incredibly good to suck on something and it is connected to one of the first things we learn after we’re born: How to suck on something so we can be fed. It’s like a Pavlovian response: Suck on a nipple (real or one attached to a bottle) and you get fed and getting fed always feels good; it’s the thing that makes babies happy when you stick a pacifier in their mouth.

So what happens when a guy is slurping on another dude’s prick? Interestingly, there’s a transfer of testosterone taking place, some of it through the skin of the guy’s dick, some of it in the saliva of the guy doing the sucking, and amounts of it in seminal fluid – pre-cum, if you will. The exchange of testosterone just ramps the sexual response up; semen – and think of it as seminal fluid and the actual spermatozoa, has a rather interesting chemical makeup that lends itself to the thought that swallowing sperm is healthy… and that’s because it does contain a lot of very healthy stuff including 5.04 grams of protein per 100 milliliters.

If ya really wanna know about spunk, go read this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semen

So “Bill” is happily sucking on “Wayne’s” cock and even though sucking a man’s dick is, ah, labor intensive, “Bill” is feeling pretty damned good while he’s doing it; the testosterone transfer that’s taking place is just adding to the satisfaction of our innate oral fixation; “Wayne” is secreting seminal fluid which gets quickly absorbed by “Bill’s” mouth and if “Bill” is feeling kinda/sorta energized, it’s because of the sugars – fructose and glucose in the mix that are giving him a bit of an energy boost and right along with the mix of arousal chemicals running through his system.

“Wayne” busts a nut and “Bill” consumes it; not only is he getting a lot more of those nice organic components from “Wayne,” Bill is also feeling a great sense of accomplishment because he’s gotten “Wayne” off and, for some guys, all of this lends itself to a feeling of “love” and “affection” and, strangely, even if this is the first time “Wayne” and “Bill” have engaged in this and even if they never see each other again.

It doesn’t take a whole lot for the brain to associate sucking cock with pleasure even though it’s kinda/sorta obvious that some folks are head over heels about oral sex while many more aren’t fans of it but this aspect is more about how we connect our experiences to things. Like that thing about women not liking to do it? It’s not that it doesn’t make them feel good to do it but their past experiences tend to override things and, sure, it’s a chore and all that; then there’s the whole taste and consistency thing but I’m not talking about this so much as I’m diving into the biochemistry itself.

Your results will vary and depending on how you feel about doing it.

A lot of guys say that they’re cum freaks and that sucking a guy’s cock is just a happy prelude to homey giving up that nut to be dealt with and many do say that they don’t know why they’re cum sluts but they’re glad that they are. I just happen to know a little something about why. One of the questions guys like to ask each other about sucking cock is what it feels like to do it as well as what it’s like to get a load of spunk in their mouth and make it disappear… but you don’t often see guys asking how they’re feeling while they’re doing it but, yeah, when the question does come up (no pun intended) many, many guys speak to how good it makes them feel to not only suck dick but to swallow that load or, at the very least, take it in their mouth before spitting it out.

It’s really one of those things that those who suck dick don’t really think about; they might feel some kind of way after doing it but the focus is what they’re feeling – but not thinking about – as they blow someone or, yeah, while eating pussy. It takes a bit of effort to be able to separate one’s thoughts while giving head from what they’re feeling while they’re doing it, like, fuck, giving someone head could be “a chore” because of how long it might take to produce results, the physical exertion that’s inherent in giving head, yada, yada, and the mind will pick up on these things and to the point where what one is actually feeling – what’s going on with their body – gets overshadowed by whatever they happen to be thinking about.

See, it’s what I tell Cityman when we talk about sucking dick in that it help to know why something works the way it does and, again, I happen to know why many cock suckers find it so addictive and, importantly, how one’s past experiences and thoughts can, again, overshadow the biochemical processes that are in play and, yeah, it makes sense that many of us don’t pay a whole lot of attention – or just flat-out don’t know about this – because it’s a lot of shit to think about; it’s easier to say that it makes you feel good when you do it and not be bothered with the science of it all.

Many complain about the taste and consistency and those complaints are valid but there are times when someone will say that they don’t like the way it makes them feel and, among men, um, some guys feel quite “girly” when sucking cock – and this is just how their mind is interpreting what’s being experienced right along with the social programming that says guys aren’t supposed to be giving other guys blow jobs. The biochemical storm that’s taking place, along with having one’s oral fixation satisfied, can make one feel very damned vulnerable and strangely amorous and for some men, the processes clash with one’s conscious thoughts and this results in them feeling good… but kinda bad and even worse when they’ve busted a nut along the way.

When we talk about sucking dick, I tell Cityman that it’s about being in the moment, to pay more attention to how it’s making him feel to suck dick more than he’s paying attention to what he’s doing and what he’s thinking about. Perhaps it’s just my opinion but one should be feeling more than thinking. Some guys, when they’re giving head, are thinking about making the other guy happy and that by making him happy, they’re happy – and this plays into it as well but it’s not what’s really going on in the background; again, it’s a Jedi mind trick of sorts when you bother to look at what’s going on that’s producing such good feelings.

I love the way giving head makes me feel but, like a lot of guys, I did wonder why it made me feel so good when I’m giving head so being the overly curious guy I’ve always been, I went to find out why… and found out why. I even learned that in those times when one part of my brain is telling me that I would have been better off watching paint dry, there’s that big part of my brain that’s disagreeing because it feels very damned good to be giving someone head.

A lot of newbies sitting on the bench wanna know why they should suck a dick and the usual answer is, “Because it feels good to do it!” but while this is a very acceptable answer, um, most guys – and even gals – have no idea why it feels good to do it. And if you didn’t know, now you know. For those who’d rather not give head, well, that’s understandable and as I said, it’s not unusual for someone’s thoughts to override how doing it makes them feel; if you go into it thinking that it’s a pain in the ass, that’s what your mind is going to be paying more attention to and if you were to ask someone if they felt good doing it, some might be able to tell you, “Yeah, but…” and the “but” carries more weight than anything else.

The science and psychology of sucking dick is fascinating – well, I think it is.

It reminds me of that epic conversation I had many years ago where I was discussing this with a woman and she said she didn’t understand why I had to suck dick; I had asked her why she does and she very quickly said that she likes doing it and it makes her feel good to do it…

And I said, “Well, you just answered your own question, didn’t you?” Even at subliminal levels, sucking cock – and even eating pussy – does make you feel good despite what your brain might also be telling you, oh, you know, like it’s a waste of time and energy and other such stuff. And for many cock suckers, yeah, doing it is very damned addictive and it’s my thought that it can be this way depending on how well a person’s brain can associate their inborn oral fixation with sucking cock. Parents go through some shit trying to stop their children from sucking their thumb or fingers and this is that oral fixation thing at work. I offer up again an experiment: Put your thumb or, my favorite, the tip of your little finger in your mouth and suck on it – but don’t think about what you’re doing – think about how it’s making you feel (other than feeling silly for being an adult and sucking your thumb or finger) and if you think, “That’s doesn’t feel bad at all!” then you’ve “rediscovered” your own connection to oral fixation.

 
 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Selfish?

A guy on the “new” forum asked if he was being selfish when he finishes in a guy’s mouth but won’t finish the off like that. He went on to say, after a few comments, that if he found The One an was all emotionally connected to him, only then would he allow him to cum in his mouth and share this particular experience.

Other guys who commented, to me, supported this position, telling him that, basically, he doesn’t have to let the other guy cum in his mouth is he doesn’t want to and this is correct but the OP also included that he noticed the other guy would appear to be disappointed after the fact. Other guys pointed out that dealing with a mouthful of cum isn’t always easy to do and there’s some truth in this; if the taste isn’t off putting, the amount of spunk and/or it’s consistency makes even taking it in one’s mouth… problematic – it can cause involuntary gagging in most cases.

Some interesting things about this, beginning with one of the reasons why some guys turn to M2M cock sucking, that being, some women aren’t fond of letting guys finish in their mouth and for various reasons that are, for the most part, not open for debate; if ya don’t like it, all you can do is not like it, fella, and if thou protests too much, her solution is to stop sucking your dick. When you factor in how some women are about having their pussy eaten – you don’t get to fuck her until you use your mouth to lay waste to her and make her cum as many times as she can stand it (and if at all) – well, you might be able to see how one-sided this can get and how it has the potential to cause… problems.

The perception is that all guys who suck cock finish them 100% of the time; the truth is, ah, not really because guys can be just as funny about this as their female counterparts can be including saving this part of the act for someone they’re emotionally connected to.

Next is the… perception or expectation that when dicks are being sucked – and as a primary act – finishing them off in the mouth is always a given – it’s just fair that if a guy cums in your mouth, you get to cum in his. It’s the reason why guys, when negotiating this, always ask if you spit or swallow; spitting it out is considered to be proper cock sucking etiquette but the key factor here is that in order to spit it out, um, ah, it has to be in your mouth in the first place.

Next, the differing schools of thought about why “Jake” sucks cock or, crudely (perhaps), if you’re not gonna suck the guy off, why are you sucking his dick. Further, when “Jake” engages with another guy for this, is he doing it for his own satisfaction or for the other guy’s pleasure and satisfaction? And what do these things mean? Now there are guys who are cock sucking fiends, always willing to swallow down a load but don’t give a fuck about reciprocation at all; some are like, “Don’t even think about sucking my dick or even touching it while I’m sucking you!” and such guys have their reasons for this stance but are often perceived as being selfish under “If you do me, I do you, too” thing that many guys hold true to…

Because it’s only fair, if there’s even such a thing as fairness in any of this. There are those guys who expect and demand that you suck and finish them… and don’t you dare think about asking them to do the same for you; this is all about you servicing them, nothing more, nothing less, and if you don’t like it, well, you’re obviously some punk-assed whiny bitch who doesn’t understand their place in the male pecking order.

Funny that you can be perceived as being less manly but the guy who refuses to even touch a dick is seen as being well within his rights not to and considers himself to be quite manly for this stance, huh?

Yeah, none of this is as simple as it might appear to be, huh? Two questions, at least in my mind, becomes apparent: Does the OP believe he’s being selfish and what does the other guy think about this? A third and equally valid question is does the OP even give a fuck about what the other guy is thinking and feeling about this? Yet another valid question:

Should he give a fuck or does he have to?

I don’t believe there’s an easy answer to this since cock sucking is such a personal thing so does personal preference trump the overall thought or purpose of mutual satisfaction in this? If the other guy does wind up busting his nut – and I’d assume manually over orally – should he be happy to bust his nut this way even after gulping down a load of cum himself? Is he, indeed, within his rights to be disappointed or otherwise unhappy with the outcome of the cock sucking session?

And, yes, the pun is definitely intended for a change.

How would I feel if a guy did this to me? That’s one of those “it depends” answers because I could feel disappointed and cheated or I could be quite indifferent about it. It depends on whether or not I knew of this preference before the fact and if I did and decided to go through with it, well, there’s nothing to be disappointed about or, during negotiations, if this is what I’m needing, well, it could be a deal-breaker and while a guy’s reason for not wanting a mouthful of the slimy stuff is a matter of choice and preferences, I’m also aware that this particular thing is a huge deal breaker for a lot of guys who are of a mind that you do unto me as I’m gonna do unto you.

Once – and feeling evil for some reason – a guy was negotiating with me for some mutual cock sucking satisfaction and when he asked if I spit or swallow, I replied, “Neither!” – and the guy disappeared faster than it took me to write that one word and press “Send.” I laughed my ass off about it but got serious and asked, rhetorically, why it would make a difference and if it should make a difference… and the very odd answer that it does make a difference as much as it doesn’t make one given, again, taking a load in the mouth is still a matter of personal preference.

This posting by the OP reminded me of a conversation I had with Cityman about this very same thing and in his early days of bisexual discovery. He would happily and eagerly explode in some guy’s mouth but would head for the hills before the other guy exploded in his. He cited – and correctly so – his concern for any, ah, oral complications but, at the same time, he also wondered why his partner(s) would seem to be not all that happy about how things ended.

I explained it like this: You really shouldn’t ask a man to do something you’re unwilling to do even though, yeah, you’re within your rights not to if ya can’t or don’t want to. What it does is breed a kind of contempt as well as the potential of planting a nasty seed (no pun this time) in the other guy’s mind that he’s unworthy of this level of reciprocation which, usually, isn’t a good thing. While there are men, again, who suck cock without any reciprocation whatsoever, um, there are also many more guys for which reciprocation is everything in this even if condoms are used for this purpose; in this, there’s no harm or foul letting the dick in your mouth cut loose since, duh the condom is going to contain things.

And, yes, even with a valid reason, it can be perceived as being selfish. Again, I don’t know if there’s a definitive answer to this and probably because there isn’t one but it is an interesting topic of discussion just the same.

The jury is now excused to begin its deliberations.

 
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Posted by on 30 April 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “What Do You Like…”

“…most about sucking cock?” Here again we see one of the usual and typical questions guys ask other guys and for a couple of reasons. One reason is that guys who’ve yet to suck a dick wants to know what guys who do give head think about it, what they like, what they don’t like and then use this information to help them decide if going out and blowing another guy is really gonna be worth the risks.

The other reason is to find out if other guys like sucking cock for the same reasons they like doing it, which kinda makes sense because it’s quite comforting to know that x-amount of guys not only like doing it but they’re doing it for the same – or close enough for government work – reason.

The question is… innocent enough; the answers are usually all over the place. It’s not that guys are incapable of answering the question; it’s just that doing this really does mean different things and I find it interesting that no one ever asks, “What don’t you like about sucking cock?” What I also find interesting is that guys who haven’t sucked a dick yet and guys who don’t suck dick usually have something to add to the conversation and, I’m sorry but, “I haven’t sucked a cock yet but I want to!” isn’t an answer and doesn’t speak to what one likes about it.

Even a bit more interesting are the guys who’ll respond to this question by saying that they don’t really care to have their dick sucked and, oh, okay, but, um, how does that answer the question at hand? It would be a valid answer if ya start out with this and then follow it up with what you like about doing it – and some guys do just that but, yeah, sometimes, “I don’t like having it done to me” is the only response given.

I’m sure you remember how I keep telling you that guys are funnier about this than women are, right? Okay – just making sure of that.

So for this question, there were 544 responses made over a nine-year period since the OP posted the question and I read each and every response because, sure, I wanna know what other guys like about it and, again, the answers are all over the place and I’d say positively so but what caught my attention the most were the number of guys who answered the question in the simplest form, i.e., “I like everything about it!”

There weren’t that many responses like that but, yeah, sure, some guys got quite detailed about what they like about it and the devil is always in the details so while “I like everything about it!” is a good, valid, and sensible answer, one probably couldn’t just say that without providing the juicy details – where’s the fun in that?

It’s usually the first thing a guy learns about M2M sex or, as I’ve said, it’s that entry level activity and in that initial experience, eh, ya either liked doing it or you didn’t. It’s really not enough that a guy likes doing that; one has to be able to understand why he does and how blowing a guy makes him feel, like all the guys who responded by saying that it really turns them on to be able to please another guy in this way. Some guys spoke to the challenge sucking large dicks present and some guys spoke more about the moment homey busts a nut as the alpha and omega of sucking dick.

One guy said he likes the moment he takes a cock into his mouth, while another said that he likes hearing the other guy moaning and cussing; yet another guy said that he likes having his mouth used roughly and being face-fucked. One guy said that he likes the way cock sucking makes him feel liberated and empowered.

These are all good things unless, of course, you’re not a fan of sucking cock and it stands to reason that there are some guys who aren’t fans but they just gotta rain on the parade of those who are fans by letting their dislike be known and those dudes who aren’t fans can’t seem to be able to get their head (no pun) around why so many other guys just flat out love doing it.

Some guys take to cock sucking like a duck to water while others really do have to learn to like it; likewise, I’d have to say that some guys get some preconceived notions about it before the fact then, upon their first experience, get all of those notions shattered into dust, like maybe those guys who watch porn and see dicks being sucked and it looks “easy” and erotic but get hit with the truth of things, namely, guys don’t always react “nicely” when they have their dick in your mouth and that can also include getting an unexpected mouthful of spunk and, frankly, guys that react badly to this kinda amuse me and makes me ask, “What did you think was gonna happen?” Sure, some guys love everything about sucking a dick… except that part of it.

Curiously, the whole top/bottom dynamic seems to play into whether this is liked or not; there are tops who will suck cock but, “historically,” many are quite opposed to doing it since it’s their “job” to have their dick sucked. One can safely say that most bottoms love sucking cock… depending on why they’re doing it; some guys love doing it as a prelude to having that freshly sucked dick in their backside, nothing more, nothing less.

So perhaps the question should really be formed like this: “What do you like about sucking cock and why?” which, I think, paints a more complete picture. One thing about this that sticks out in my mind is how many guys (and, perhaps, even women) aren’t aware of what’s known as oral fixation or, simply, how good it makes one feel to suck on something and a lot of researchers discovered – a long time ago – that this is directly tied into one of the first things we learn when we’re born – how to nurse, be it a nipple or the nipple of a bottle. We instinctively connect sucking with being fed, which is, duh, a good feeling and the connection remains in place and extends itself to things sexual – sucking cock and even eating pussy.

It’s also the reason why so many kids suck their thumb and, because it’ll mess up their teeth, they’re encouraged to stop doing that… but doesn’t change the fact that merely sucking your thumb makes one feel good.

Ah, the science behind this is fascinating, ain’t it? Some can’t make this connection; sucking your thumb is very different than sucking a dick but to a great extent, it’s not all that different except, um, what’s being sucked and, of course, what’ll happen when you suck on a dick long enough or in the right way to invoke the other reason to be sucking on a guy’s dick – to entice him to cum and swallowing is always optional.

As long as he does it. For many guys, that’s the reward to be enjoyed for the work one has to put in to make this happen.

 
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Posted by on 24 April 2019 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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Writing Myself into a Hole

The flailing scraps of a struggling writer. Original fiction and creative whining, whenever my petulance will allow it.