In talking about submissive bisexual men, I’d be remiss not to bring in the other sexual aspect: Getting screwed. Fasten your seat belts; the time machine is cranked up and ready to go…
If you did the one thing – suck dick – chances were you did the other thing – get fucked. I don’t really remember when we all got it into our heads to include and do this in our, ah, activities but it got included. Some guys were okay with it, some weren’t and, yes, the one gay kid in our group was definitely all for it – more about him in a moment. When someone asked, “Hey, you wanna go somewhere so we can do it?” that meant dicks would get sucked and asses fucked unless someone had something particular in mind and, at first, guys who didn’t want to do both were given disparaging looks and sometimes called out as being chicken but in those early days, it could be seen where we were finding out what our “favorite” things to do with each other. There were some guys you just didn’t want to be in your butt; not because they made it a terrible experience but because they somehow couldn’t “do it right” and make it feel really good.
Now to the gay guy. Effeminate and submissive. More “girl” than the real ones in the neighborhood and when he wasn’t with us, he mostly hung out with the girls and while there were those who’d tease him about that, um, let’s say that spending some time with him would change their minds about teasing him. In comparison, he made me look like I didn’t like sex at all and there were many times when we’d cave in and have sex with him just to stop him from asking over and over. He and I would talk – we were friends and lived in the same apartment building – and sometimes, if I hadn’t known that I was talking to a guy, I’d swear I was talking to a girl. When the fellas got together, we’d talk about girls and, yeah, who you could do it to and who you couldn’t but when talking to him, we talked about boys and I got to know a lot of stuff about the guys in the neighborhood that I hadn’t known before including who he liked to have sex with more than others and, yes, I was on the favored list but, still, he would be so… bubbly about having sex with us and even more so when he was being fucked.
He’d talk about it in terms that I was familiar with and not so much. He would often say that if that was all he could do, he’d be more than happy and I would think back to the times when I’d have sex with him to notice that while he had the time of his life sucking me, he was the most happiest when I screwed him. In this, he’d make those of us who liked being fucked look like we didn’t and, indeed, if one were to close their eyes while doing him, it would be almost like doing it to a girl – just with a lot more moaning and stuff. I’d sometimes run into him and he’d be rip-roaring mad because he didn’t get screwed and to the point where he’d be in tears at times. I “hated” talking to him when he’d get like this because, I learned, I had no real idea of how much it meant to him and how… incomplete it made him feel.
With the rest of us, eh, if dicks didn’t go into asses, it wasn’t that big of a deal since sometimes, there was no time for it, butts would be all sweaty and “funky” – stuff like that or, simply, getting sucked off a few times was easier. But for him – and it would be a whole lot of years before I could recognize his submissiveness – if you didn’t screw him, he was very unhappy. I ran into him many years later and we talked about “the good old days” and he was a study in submissiveness and, at the time, even more so. It wasn’t that he’d give up his ass as a matter of course – he’d be a bottom in today’s terms – but he “got off” on being demeaned, humiliated, and abused while getting nailed. He had told me that back in the day, he felt the most… complete when guys would just use him as they saw fit and the more dominant they were about it, the better. This new information explained a lot about his behavior early on but, again, it was something that I couldn’t relate to; any guy who “got out of line” with me when his dick was in my ass would immediately face my wrath and great displeasure and, sometimes, pain was something they’d find they didn’t enjoy a whole lot.
At the time, he gave me not only a lot of insight about himself in this but the other gay men I’d run into and have sex with and I could then see how some of those other guys were more assertive while my childhood friend was more passive and, yeah, submissive. While I could understand the premise of feeling good because you made the other person feel good, my friend – and other guys like him – redefined and expanded what this meant and while my old friend regaled me with times he was fucked that made me wince, he lived for this and, I thought, not just because he was gay.
Parking the time machine now. There are a lot of guys on the forum who are like my childhood friend. Manly men as a matter of course and very damned submissive when getting some dick. I can’t forget reading what some guy wrote on one of the many topics about being fucked: “Fuck me like the bitch I am!” Indeed, for many of these submissive “anal bottoms,” the more they’re being dominated, the better it makes them feel since the guy hammering the living daylights out of his hole – and doing stuff like slapping him around, calling him all kinds of bitches and whores and the like – was deriving much pleasure at being able to use him as he wanted to. Not all of these guys like or prefer it rough but they admit to feeling the most pleasure to submissively be made love to in that everything that took place was all about the other guy and how it made them feel to, well, submit. To be owned. Often being more than willing to obey any commands given to them. To be made to submit which I thought was redundant since they were already submitting to begin with but, okay, I was picking up on what they were putting down.
It’s not just that being screwed feels good; for these submissive men, it felt better than just feeling good and having one’s prostate being stimulated; it would, as I say, let their inner girl out to play and revel in being used for another man’s pleasure and, boy, do they ever get to feeling some kind of way if a guy screws them and doesn’t cum… and a sentiment that even I know about. I was talking to my protégé about this one day and he was having a bit of a hard time understanding why the bottoms he was having sex with were behaving the way they were and, upon hearing about how they were behaving, well, they were being their normal submissive selves. He had a “problem” with cumming inside them and couldn’t understand why some of them would literally have a hissy fit… and I found myself trying to explain it to him. Those submissive guys he was happily screwing lived to have cum inside of them and felt that their submission was… incomplete any time he pulled out of them. I had asked him if he had ever noticed how some women react when he unloaded in them and compared to when he pulled out – and he really had to stop and think about that for quite some time before he admitted that he noticed that, yeah, there’s a difference.
“Guys are like that, too,” I had said. “It seems that the more submissive they are, the more important it is to them that you unload into them; otherwise, you pretty much nullified their submission and have now left them feeling unfulfilled and, as you mentioned, making them think that they weren’t pleasing you at all.”
And, it seems, for the guys who live to have their hole “used and abuse,” their submission in this means everything. I tend to roll my eyes when such men refer to their asshole as a pussy; I’m just too literal-minded – males who are born male don’t have pussies and I’ve seen enough pussies to know the difference… but I get it. This is the submissive girl inside of them coming out and partying to the max. Suck dick? Fine… but only as a prelude to getting that dick inside of them and some admit to only giving a “token amount of head” because they’re still men and they know all too well what won’t happen if they suck the guy and he loses his load… and they’re not going to be happy about that.
Much like my childhood friend would be. I didn’t really understand it then and I don’t really pretend to understand it now other than at an intellectual level. I understand what it means to them to be submissive in this aspect and nothing else matter to them than to have a man inside of them and doing whatever and, as one very professed submissive bottom said, “Fill me up to overflowing – then do it again.” There are guys who don’t mind being screwed; there are guys who like it – having your prostate stimulated in this way can be pretty mind-blowing – and then there are the submissive guys who just take being fucked to a whole different level and meaning and for a few of them, the more guys filling them up, the better and more submissive they feel. For some, their submission gets enhanced when things go into the BDSM aspects; tie them up, spank them, and other such things and that’s their idea of being in heaven.
Many of these guys dream of being gangbanged; just line up as many men as possible so they can submit to being cum dumps (to put it that way) and many of them are quite proud of the number of men they’ve been able to submit to in this fashion. Um, ah, I know what that’s like and admit that it was fun… but not something I’d ever do again but that’s me and I’m not submissive like these guys are. I’ll even admit that there are and have been times when I want to be screwed but if not, okay – don’t sweat the small stuff but for my submissive brethren, it is everything to them to be able to freely and willingly give up their ass and submit to whatever the guy wants and needs to do. It’s not just the physical pleasure but most definitely is about the emotional pleasure and that sense that when it comes to being with men, this is their mission in life. Not to just consent to sex but to fully submit to it and in any way you care to define the word.
And this aspect of the dynamic is changing to make being submissive not only a thing to do but a way to be and like being a submissive cock sucker, oh, I find this to be so very damned interesting because it was something that I used to see only in certain gay men back in the day… and none of these very submissive guys are gay. Guys like myself and my protégé can grudgingly admit to being screwed and feeling girly… but these submissive men “are girly” and in ways one normally doesn’t see in women, to speak generally (and put the knives away, ladies). Guys like myself and my protégé submit to being screwed but it pales in comparison to why and how these other men submit to it and, again, them being of a mind that this is their sole purpose in life while most of us, eh, we can take it or leave it.
It all makes me wonder about the direction male bisexuality is taking and, again, how some lines are being blurred between being bi and gay and leaning more toward the effeminate and, as such, having a great preference for dominant men who will just take full charge of them and use them as they see fit. There was a moment within the dynamic where if you were “acting like a girl,” don’t even bother to talk to some guys; they preferred to fuck guys who behaved just as manly as they perceived themselves to be but even in this, no matter how manly the guy being fucked was, he was expected and required to submit to the fucking without hesitation or reservation and, nope – he won’t be getting any of his ass. These… macho tops, I thought, really wanted someone more into submission and the guys who truly fit that description, well, let’s politely say that when someone was laying the pipe to them good and hard, being “manly” about it wasn’t what they were doing or even cared about.
You can often see it in “gay” porn where guys being fucked are being manhandled and loving every minute of it. I see it and it raises my hackles and gets me to thinking what I’d do to a guy who put me in a choke hold while banging my hole like tomorrow would never come… but there are very submissive men who live to be fucked this way and with varying degrees of being “dominated” either lightly or in ways that makes me cringe – and I’ve seen some stuff in my time. I understand my own biases in this but this isn’t about what I’d do or not – it’s about understanding why these men are the way they are and I’m getting there.
It’s physical, emotional and key to their perception of themselves. Again, when they’re not with men, they’re, well, men and in every way that can mean including their lust for women but to be able to submit and give themselves over to men? Priceless. Nothing’s better than having a hard dick plowing their south forty and seed being sown. Such guys talk about being bred, a notion that makes my eyes roll because literal-minded me says that only women can be bred since, um, they’re the only ones who can be impregnated… but these guys don’t think or feel this way because this is who they are when it comes to having sex with men.
I would suppose that when some folks think about bisexual men, they might tend to think that we’re all the same and we are not and just like everything else regarding male bisexuals, the devil lives in the details and it’s not about what; it’s about why and it’s not so much complicated as it is complex since their submissive nature is right at the core of who they are. Not of a mind to stick it in them? Eh, you’re useless. Of a mind to pull out of them? What the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, they can be just as submissive when sucking dick but their true submissiveness doesn’t come out until you get the dick in them and screw them silly… and don’t forget to cum in them because it completes them; it “closes the circle” and brings deep meaning to them and I can understand some of that because I don’t and never feel complete in that sense if a guy doesn’t – or refuses – to cum in me. I get… pissy about it but not like the submissive men I know of.
I was with a guy like this and we’d been going at it hot and heavy and I got overstimulated big time. I’m in him and doing my best to cum and it wasn’t happening… so I withdrew… and caught nine kinds of hell for it. I was, what’s the word, stupefied that this guy was reading me the riot act and had me thinking that he was going to take a swing at me… but then, as he ranted and raved and called me all kinds of unkind names, I thought back to my childhood and very effeminate and submissive gay friend and how he behaved when he got fucked and the other guy didn’t cum. This guy was damned near in tears because he felt that because I didn’t cum, I was totally displeased with him and that made him unhappy about himself and kept asking me what he did wrong. I told him that with the way we’d been going at each other before I got into him, I’d gotten overstimulated and while I don’t know about other guys, I know that when I’m in this state, if I had to cum to save my life, I would be quite dead – it just wasn’t going to happen. I felt bad enough about that to begin with and it wasn’t until after he calmed down that I really understood how much that meant to him and his submissiveness – and yes, I knew he was because he told me that but I’d say it was my “fault” that I didn’t, at the time, understand it and how much it really meant to who he was as a person.
While situations like that were… an exception and not including the effeminate gay and submissive guys I’d encountered, it’s becoming more prevalent these days as more and more men are very much getting in touch with themselves and, apparently, a lot more than being bisexual can do. It’s sex (and highly prohibited) but for many men, it is much, much more than just sliding your dick into them and happily busting a nut and just like everything else in the ever-changing dynamic, I find this utterly fascinating to bear witness to. I know I couldn’t be that way but, again, this isn’t about me but all about them and why they are the way they are and more so when, in their normal day-to-day lives, they’re doing “man things” and just like we’re supposed to be doing…
Until the opportunity comes to get some dick… and the change some guys undergo can be startling As I said yesterday, when we consent to have sex with another guy, we are submitting to whatever we agreed to do, whether it’s sucking dick or fucking but submissive bisexual men takes this to a very different level and sets themselves aside from “regular” bi guys like myself and a great many other men. I’d say that to us, it’s sex but to them? Way much more than that and now a thing that I don’t think can be only associated with effeminate gay men any longer and, as such, some lines are again being blurred that were once quite defined and roles delineated.
Fascinating to be learning about all of this and being able to see the way things used to be from my perspective and seeing how the dynamic has evolved. Once upon a time, being screwed in the ass was a “sissy” thing and very damned unmanly and if you really liked it, well, what the hell is wrong with you and are you really gay? Not any more.
Not any more.