I can’t think of anything that’ll get a guy upset more than finding out that the guy you’ve been happily having oral sex with saying that it would be nice if he could stick his dick in your ass… and more so when you weren’t expecting this and even more so when getting boned in da butt wasn’t on your list of things to do.
Ah, so much “drama” behind this one. Guys are seriously funny about things being around their buttholes. It’s gay as hell. Is a clear and present danger to their masculinity and more than having a cock in their mouth is. Mention a prostate exam to a lot of guys and watch them get that look on their face and, in truth, a lot of men die from prostate cancer because it’s detected too late to do anything about and because they refused to bend over and let a doctor give them the finger.
Okay. If you’re male and bisexual, any sex you have with a guy is… optional. If it’s something you’re not comfortable with, you don’t have to do it, like, say, kissing, or if you’ve not acquired the taste, you don’t have to allow the guy to cum in your mouth and if that makes him unhappy, oh, well. And you most certainly don’t have to get fucked if you don’t want to be… but if you do, well, okay, I’d love to tell you that your biggest issue is going to be that, yep, it can hurt going in and all that but the biggest issue, I think, is being able to find the pleasure in it and that might not be easy to do.
For a lot of guys, this act is just too gay for them and with emphasis on the word, “gay” and what being gay mean even in general terms. Yes: Gay men historically have sex like this. Truth: Not all men who get fucked are gay and it doesn’t make them gay. What’s the big deal about it? Well… that’s something you’d have to find out for yourself because, say, asking me is only going to let you know what goes on inside my head when I’ve assumed the position and homey is pushing his dick into my ass (and I might get into that later in this scribble). I think because there is so much negativity that’s been around about anal sex – and for good reason – it can make a guy looking to bottom be very leery about it. Story time.
My protege, when we were talking about being fucked, emphatically said that he would never allow it and stated reasons that I find to be the usual reasons why guys are so against this and including the thing everyone knows that it’s gonna hurt. I read what he had to say and it was a good thing he couldn’t see me because if he could, he would have seen the smirk I had on my face and just before I told him something that I learned about this and from experience: “Don’t be surprised when, one day, you’re gonna want to be fucked. You’re of a mind that you won’t ever do it but I’ll ask you to believe me when I tell you that you’re gonna want some guys to stick it in you and fuck you until he cums. Been there. Been done like that more times than I care to admit to. And I suggest that when this moment arrives, you just go with it and for no other reason than you will learn what it’s like to the guys you have no qualms about fucking.”
He didn’t believe me and I didn’t expect him to. The first time he got boned it was, um, epic, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing as he described how it felt to him and how he reacted to it and that he tapped out after a couple of minutes. No shame in that and I said as much to him and gave him props for giving it a shot to begin with. We talked about the “bitchy and girly” feeling he experienced and how much it bothered him – and not only are those feelings real they can be bothersome because they clash with a guy’s sense of being male and masculine since, you know, most of us believe that only “really gay men” and women get fucked but real men don’t – ever. I said that he should – and, if he’s gonna be fucked again (and he will be) – learn to embrace the bitchy feeling instead of letting it bother him and, importantly, find the pleasure in being fucked as well as the fact that there must be something pleasurable about it because a lot of guys are very much okay with being fucked and creamed… and not all of them are gay or would even want to be.
Even I had to learn how to find the pleasure in it. Yeah, most of the time it hurt going in but it wasn’t until I somehow “learned” to not pay attention to that and then, well, hey, this feels pretty good. I didn’t have a clue about prostate stimulation… because I didn’t know anything about us having a prostate but what I did know was that it felt good to have a guy on top of me and he’s working his dick in and out of me and how oddly good it felt to feel his dick pulsing in my butt and understanding that he was shooting his baby-making stuff in me… and like I was a girl. A very yucky feeling but, as I would continue to learn, not that bad of a feeling. If there was a downside, it was that some guys just seemed to “go out of their way” to make being fucked not feel good and that’s a major bummer but I would also learn that despite what the other guy is doing, it’s still on me to be able to find the pleasure in it; otherwise, this isn’t going to be fun at all… and why do it if you’re not going to enjoy it?
I remember the day my protege hit me up and told me that he was with this guy and he got screwed and creamed and because he wanted to. He didn’t exactly come out and tell me that I was right – and I didn’t bother with telling him, “I told you, didn’t I…?” because there was really no point to it. I sat and read what he had to say about the whole thing and paid particular attention to what he was saying about how he felt throughout it all. His “final word” on it was that it still felt bitchy but not necessarily in a bad way but it was also something he wasn’t going to do all of the time. I didn’t say it but I knew he was going to feel this way about it because he wasn’t the first guy who’d said pretty much the same thing about being screwed. I made it clear to him that, for one, a lot of guys are going to want to fuck him but, for the other and main thing, he didn’t have to allow it if he didn’t want to.
I told him that it is really okay to want to be screwed and no matter how “silly” that might feel. I truthfully told him that I don’t understand why this makes sense to some guys and more so when they’re firmly against being screwed but, yeah, with some guys, you just wanna be screwed. Having your dick sucked until you cum is nice but the “finishing touches” comes when a guy enters you and fucks you until he cums. Having your prostate stimulated in this way is… a pretty weird feeling and if the guy finds the right angle, oh, yeah, feeling his cock just giving your prostate the business is a pretty intense feeling and to the point where some guys wind up ejaculating and/or having a very intense orgasm.
It feels good. I’d be the first to admit that it does and, oh, yeah, feeling his cock pulsing away inside of me when he came was amazingly pleasing and in ways that, to this very day, I can’t explain all that well. It is the source of my position that guys who get screwed and cream find out what women like – and hate – about it and that once a guy can wrap his head around that, it just might change the way he fucks women or, if nothing else, can make him more… considerate.
But one still has to be able to find the pleasure in it. I know that some guys get boned… because it’s expected of them. Just one of those things he has to endure and I’ve heard some guys say that it’s just the price they have to pay when they want to have sex with another guy. Okay, I understand that since, um, since I’ve been screwed by a guy and it was the last thing I wanted to do but, yeah – obligatory. Occupational hazard. I tended to miss the good part of it because I was too busy being “unhappy” about being screwed when I didn’t want to but saying no, well, okay, this is just part of the deal… and I learned to understand why women will “just lie there and take it” even though they shouldn’t but, yep, I understand it… and a lot of guys have learned to understand this, too. I’d learn to say no and mean it and the thing about doing this – and you’re a guy – is that you can have both the muscle and will to prevent it from happening and, yes, violence is often involved. Yes – men fear being raped just like women fear it, which makes bottoming for a guy feel iffy and a cause for concern.
I’ve told guys who are curious about being fucked to not look at gay porn and take it as the way to take a dick in their ass. Porn exaggerates things. Makes it look easier than it really is. One forum member who is, at the least, curious about bottoming and asking why one would want to bottom said that he watches gay porn but gets turned off seeing men kissing, which is something I think is fairly normal and I got the sense that he felt that in order to wind up being screwed, he had to kiss the guy… and the truth is he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to – but porn will make a lot of guys believe that what they’re looking at – and jerking off to – is the way getting boned has to be.
The reality is different. A lot of guys romanticize being screwed and even though that tends to make me roll my eyes, I really do understand that this is how they find the pleasure in being fucked. Some guys are professed submissive or power bottoms – and I don’t pretend to understand what being a power bottom really means but at the root of it, it’s these guys having found the pleasure of having a hard dick in their ass and the cock’s owner making a deposit or, as some guys seem to prefer, homey pulling out and just letting the spunk fly and land where it may.
Hey… whatever works and makes you happy… and this is the key to the whole being screwed thing. Some guys find the pleasure immediately and take to being screwed like the proverbial ducks to water and, I think, because they want to be screwed and they want to find the pleasure. Most guys have to learn what’s pleasurable about it and, yeah, I had to learn that myself. Not all guys can find the pleasure in it and some guys, well, don’t even think about trying to fuck them – their ass is off-limits and that includes no fingers are allowed in there. I get it. I know why those guys feel the way they do and many feel that sucking cock is the “lesser of two evils” and with being penetrated and inseminate the worst thing ever.
Anal sex is part of the M2M thing. Not all of us do it either way; it’s just easier for a lot of people to believe that we all do this and, yep, if we do, that means we’re gay. No, it means that it’s an aspect of having sex that we don’t find disagreeable and for whatever reason we don’t and won’t say no to it. I have always found it interesting to run into guys who are 100% against being screwed… but then they do and they have a hard time making sense of why they wanted to be or why they allowed it to happen and then get to feeling some kind of way about it and, at first, denying that they found it pleasurable but, um, when they really think about it, it wasn’t that bad – and now we’re all into that “it’s not something I’d do all of the time” thing that a lot of guys are wont to say and that fine – you don’t have to if you don’t want to but and when you do, it is what it is.
I’ve heard women say that they don’t understand why guys have to fuck each other and the first thing is that, um, we’re guys and pretty much programmed to fuck and that can include other guys. Why would a guy want to be fucked? Um, because it feels good and in ways that often defies explanation. That shit is nasty? Of course, it’s nasty but, um, so is having a dick in a woman’s coochie and a sentiment some women would disagree with – but I know the science. I’ve even heard some women who are all for being boned in butt say that they don’t understand why a guy would want to be and, yeah, I’ve gotten that look on my face because, uh, how can they not understand it? Oh, that’s right – guys are only supposed to have sex with women. It has often had me in tears laughing at how… funny guys get about this. Some don’t really give a lot of thought about wanting to fuck a woman in the ass but mention fucking a guy in the ass… and watch them lose their shit about it; tell them that it’s no different from fucking a woman in the ass and they will tell you that it is different… because doing that to a guy is… gay. If I tell them that not all men who are into anal sex are gay, some have insisted that the dudes have to be gay.
And therein lies the reason why anal sex is more of a pain in the ass than it really is: Perception. It’s 100% not masculine to stick your dick in a guy’s ass and even less masculine to be the guy getting fucked. We have, forever and ever, believed this to be true… and it isn’t, but as I’ve said time and time again, perception is believed more than the truth. As per our habit, we will throw down the disease card in a hurry but not without reason because there are risks involved and, well, sex is risky to begin with and always has been but, yeah, you’ve probably heard all about dudes fucking each other and how fatal it is… except, the bad shit doesn’t always happen – it’s just easier to assume that it will.
Sigh. For guys, being screwed and creamed is a very iffy subject to talk about. Some – and maybe most – of us are very funny about someone messing with our butthole and, again, so much that a lot of us won’t have that digital rectal exam done to determine the health of our prostate and, sadly, a lot of us die because we are too weird about something that only takes a couple of seconds for a doctor to do. A little pressure, a bit of a poke, and here’s some tissues to deal with the lube. Doctors also use the DRE to do a test of whatever feces might be present for signs of blood which can be an indication that something’s not right with our colon and, well, you know what that can mean. To be 100% honest, um, l always look forward to the DRE… and not totally because I want my prostate to be and remain healthy. I just do not mind it when my doctor has to poke around in there to touch my prostate as much as he needs to in order to determine if it’s as okay as the blood test says it is… because it feels good having his finger in my ass but, then again, I’ve had dicks in my ass, too. And, yeah, I’ll even admit that when he’s poked my prostate, I’ve sometimes had a mini orgasm and one time, he was having a problem finding my prostate and was moving his finger around so much that I was getting an erection and, um, I made it a point not to turn around while getting the lube wiped away and to save myself some possible embarrassment, hurried up and got my underwear and pants pulled up. My prostate is healthy and that’s the main point but, um, yeah – getting the finger feels good.
It stands to reason that if a guy is really funny about getting the finger, getting something much bigger shoved in there is, well, let’s not and say we did, okay? But for those of us who don’t mind something bigger being stuffed in there, it’s because we’ve found the pleasure in it and whatever that means to us. We have learned that there are things we should do to prepare to be screwed and some guys do this as a matter of course because you never really know if you’re gonna be screwed but it’s better to be prepared. I have heard guys say stuff from don’t stick it in too far to don’t cum in me; I’ve heard and seen guys be really funny – and understandably – about the possibility of catching something if they stick it in and cum in the guy but, I think, not understanding that unless they used a condom, the moment he attempted penetration, he already assumed the risk.
When I tell you how funny guys are about stuff, I’m not kidding about it. That particular orifice is deemed to be off-limits. We know what comes out of there. Ew and yuck. Even sticking a finger in there can hurt like the dickens. Not even going there. Don’t even think about it. Having said that – and with the thing I’ve noticed about guys being into having their prostate stimulated – and medical professionals saying that such stimulation can aid in prostate health, wow – I’ve seen the toys being made for this purpose and, um, I know what it’s like to have something vibrating in my butt and, whew, boy, does that feel interesting or what? A lot of guys are okay with this. Some guys use dildoes on themselves or wouldn’t mind being pegged by a woman because, well, it’s not a guy and since it’s not a guy, it isn’t gay.
But it never really was since there have always been men who have gotten boned who weren’t gay… and they got boned because they found the pleasure in it. The truth is that you’re either gonna like it or you just won’t. The truth also is that if you don’t want to be screwed, you don’t have to allow it and no more than you have to kiss guys or swallow spunk if you haven’t or don’t want to acquire the taste. But the truth also is that there are guys who like being screwed… because it feels good. The “problem” is that in order to be able to find the pleasure, um, well, you gotta get something in there. A finger. One of those “scary looking” prostate stimulators. A dildo… or the real thing. My protege – and, really, a lot of guys – have asked me what I like about it and my favorite part of being screwed is… when he cums. Feeling him pumping it in me. Having my prostate “messed with” is intense but, yeah, it’s him finishing that gives me a lot of pleasure and, yes, I do get some kind of pissed if he pulls it out at that moment and doesn’t cum in me.
My protege asked what was up with that and to answer his question, I asked him one: Have you ever paid attention to how women react when you cum inside of them? Or how they react if you get right to the point where you’re gonna cum… and you pull it out and cum on them? If you’ve ever noticed how women react in this moment, you’re not going to understand how… complete the act feels and, yeah, not easy to explain. Well, he knows what I was trying to say about that and he agrees that it feels “nasty good” to feel that happening… because it’s supposed to feel good. I’ve had to tell him that when he does get boned, don’t let the after-the-fact thoughts he might have get in the way of him being able to find the pleasure he felt during the fact and that those “afterthoughts” more often than not will convince a guy that being screwed wasn’t all that pleasurable.
The pleasure is there – you just gotta want to find it and if you aren’t of a mind to find it, you never will and, nope, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s really not as “gay” as we have always presumed it to be since, duh, not all men who like being fucked are gay. We are quick to let the act define the people involved in it because we all know that only gay men have sex like this. It’s a totally different thing when it’s a woman’s butt we’re all up into and the only real difference is… she’s female but her, um, hole isn’t any different from ours.
Sigh. Men and women can be extremely funny about this and not without reason… but a lot of men are learning not to be so funny about it and finding the pleasure in it. For some, it’s like if they can learn to take one of those crazy-looking and seriously big dildoes in their butt, “logic” suggests that taking the real thing can’t be all that different… but there is one. If you use a toy on yourself, you’re going to be mindful not to cause any… undue discomfort where some horny guy might not be that much of a mind to be concerned with any discomfort you might feel and, yeah, it is what it is. Sometimes, it’s not being screwed that’s bad – it’s how the guy screwed you that can be less pleasurable than desired.
Women know this. If we learn nothing else from being screwed, we learn what women like and absolutely hate about being fucked… and it’s usually the guy who’s doing it and not the act so much. More sighing and a huge duh: We can’t get pregnant so it’s not a concern that we have that women most certainly do have. But it’s like that one moment where a guy was screwing me and as he unloaded in my ass I thought, “He’s trying to get me pregnant!” and, well, I was feeling some kind of way about that, but I later realized that, yeah, that’s exactly the intent of it despite it being impossible… and it’s the source of that bitchy, girly feeling a lot of guys speak to. One is either going to be able to embrace this rather disturbing feeling and take pleasure from it… or it’s just not gonna happen. I think a lot of guys who want to get boned are more worried about it hurting like nothing else they can compare it to and I’m not gonna lie and say that it doesn’t hurt at some point because it can… but not always but, yep, when the dick is going in, it can feel not all that good. A lot of guys admit that, yep, it was something getting it in there but, hmm, after a few, it just stopped hurting and started feeling… good and, hopefully, homey isn’t going to do anything to make it stop feeling good but, yeah, that happens, too.
If there’s something that flirts with that thin line between pleasure and pain, this is one of them. It really can hurt really good and as crazy as that sounds. It scares a lot of men and not because it’s gonna hurt at some point… but allowing it just might hurt the way they feel about being male and masculine and since it might, it’s something to be avoided at all costs and, yeah, the horror stories about being in jail or in prison? They’re real and knowing that they are puts a lot of fear into a lot of us and for good reason.
However, a lot of guys can set those fears aside so they can find the pleasure in being fucked. We just find the pleasure in it and even if it doesn’t make sense to someone else. It’s sex. You’re gonna like it or you just won’t even if the thing that gets inserted is a finger. Just the way things are. Like I told my protege: At some point, you learn to pick your moments and those moments depend upon how you’re feeling and how the mood is flowing because, for a lot of guys, there’s no intent to be screwed but never discount the power of being in the heat of the moment and as evidenced by the many times I’ve change my mind and even being surprised that I did. Admittedly, I got screwed a lot when I was younger and so much that it stopped being a fun thing for me to do… and I had to do some serious thinking about that aspect of having sex. Just a thing of it taking me a while to understand that I didn’t have to just because the other guy wanted to and learning to say no and mean it. It took me a while to be able to get back to finding the pleasure in it but, yeah, not everyone gets to get in my ass – lesson learned and one a lot of guys wind up learning.
All pretty normal. Some guys live to be fucked. Some, eh, not so much but it’s okay “every now and then” or when they’re in the mood. And for many, don’t even think about going there and the funnier thing is that some guys would, if given the choice, rather suck dick than to be fucked… and that sucking dick ain’t as bad as they thought it would be. Funny how that works, too…
I know what it like and I know what a lot of guys think about this one way or the other. Whether it’s “your thing” to do or not depends on where your head is about it and it’s not easy for “every guy” who wants to experience this to get their head into that place where they can find it pleasurable. And, oddly enough, if there’s a way to get used to having something in your butt, embrace “the suck” of having your prostate examined; it might not be that big of a thrill, but it could save your life and I’m thinking that’s pretty thrilling all by itself. If you’re getting busy with the lady and she wants to give you the finger, um, just try not to get all weird about it and more so when chances are you don’t have any qualms about putting your fingers in her. You can even finger yourself if you don’t “trust” anyone else to do it and I’ll even say the best way to go about it is when you’re showering and everything is all nice and soapy… and slick. It’ll feel weird but just relax and don’t forget to breathe and, yeah, you might want to clip your fingernails so they’re short and without sharp edges before trying this and you just might be able to poke your prostate and you’ll know it when you do.
It’s just something that one who wants to experience this has to adjust to and, again, be able to have their head in a place where they want to find the pleasure that so many other guys say they get out of being screwed. It’s there. Find it for yourself… or not. Your choice but it’s not mandatory to give up your ass if you don’t want to and like a lot of tops assume it is. In this, it’s not “all about” what he wants to do but definitely about what you want done to you. Don’t buy into that porno shit and, for extra credit – and if you’re of a mind to, just pay attention to how the person getting the dick in their ass reacts when being penetrated – just look at their face because it’ll tell you what might really be going on with what you’re seeing and always keep in mind that those being fucked in the ass, and in the more professional versions of porn, are being paid to do it – doesn’t mean they like it but they have to act like they do… but you can always tell when they ain’t feeling it all that much. The industry counts on you not to pay attention to this and if you’re gonna watch gay porn and there’s some anal sex happening, you might want to pay attention to this kind of stuff while keeping in mind that there’s a lot to this that you don’t see; seriously, do you really think it’s that easy to just mount a guy and shove your dick in him without… certain preparations being done before the fact?
Don’t use porn as a “how-to” primer. Learn what has to be done and do it religiously and, yeah, use condoms. Learn to find what so many guys find pleasurable about being screwed. Hell, frot with a guy to get used to “being screwed” even though there’s no penetration. And if you don’t want to learn these things, you don’t have to. It, just like any of this, isn’t for everyone. But, um, if you really wanna know what it’s like, well, you know what you gotta do.