Cityman and I had the most interesting conversation yesterday regarding anal sex; if this topic gives you the creeps, you can stop reading now.
So… he sent me a clip of a guy being screwed and my first thoughts were, “Okay, I don’t see what got his attention about this…” but I kinda patiently waited to see how this was going to turn out. The guy doing the fucking pulls out the expected long-assed dick and shot a couple of rather impressive gouts of spunk all over the other guy’s back. I had rolled my eyes, took a deep breath, and responded, “Wow… but what a waste; he should’ve put all of that in the other guy.”
The clip was in the amateur porn category and, as such, the time-honored money shot is a must – I get it even if, like much of porn, it doesn’t reflect real-life stuff all that much. And since I mentioned this to Cityman – and it’s not like he didn’t know this already since we’ve had this conversation a few times – we got into a differently worded discussion about finishing the job, to use this term. When he mentioned that, for real, there are probably reasons why the guy doing the fucking pulls out and hoses everything down, I wanted to know what those reasons were since, in my mind and experiences, there were no reasons for it that I was aware of.
He mention the risk of disease (not unexpected) and I said that all that went out the window the moment homey went in there raw… so what other reasons could there be? Cityman mentioned… um, the mess to be cleaned up and I said, “Of course it’s messy – duh!” At this point, I was sure that he really couldn’t point to a reason but I provided him one or two and beginning with the porn money shot and how some guys are… fascinated with watching themselves cum all over the place… but then often find themselves having to deal with an unhappy bottom because from this guy’s perspective, the job didn’t get finished as he expected it to be.
There is an… expectation that may not make a lot of sense to some folks but guys who like to be screwed expect you to leave the dick in there when you cum – and even if you do it in a condom – because to snatch it out in that moment is… pretty fucked up. Makes one feel incomplete and, as a few guys have related to me over the years, doing that can make one feel like they went through all of that… for nothing. Homey busted his nut and like he wanted to and by pulling out, deprived them of that… good feeling of being inseminated and, yeah, even if things get messy after the fact.
I really don’t pretend to fully understand why this is so important but it is. I allowed that as a form of birth control, yeah – pulling out of a woman who doesn’t want to get pregnant and/or not a fan of condoms or even allergic makes sense but even some women who employ this method have told me that it doesn’t feel the same; doesn’t mean the sex leading up to his release wasn’t good but it was… incomplete. The “job” wasn’t finished. It’s a sentiment I can identify with and ya might be… surprised that men can feel this way when we get screwed.
I kinda went off the rails at this point and short version is that if I deem that I want you to screw me – and it’s safe – okay, stick it in and get to fucking and, oh, yeah, don’t even think about pulling it out and shooting all over me because there will be… trouble and as the only two guys who did that to me found out. I was not amused nor was I all that understanding about them wanting to see their nut shooting out and even less amused when I said that because they did that, I left incomplete; unfinished; went through all of that pounding and stretching and didn’t get what I wanted out of the deal and, yeah, the motherfuckers just didn’t do and finish the job.
Cityman got “quiet” at this point and the only thing he said was that he found being screwed and inseminated to be very pleasing and strangely so. And I agreed; it is strangely pleasing and, eh, not so much if the insemination doesn’t happen. I even mentioned how some women get to feeling some kind of way when you don’t cum in them (or not at all) and many a guy has been baffled about this… unpleasantness coming from her and I figured out that it’s because homey either didn’t do the job or finish it and like he was supposed to, you know, once it’d been established that pregnancy wasn’t an issue or a concern or if the two of them were agreeable about having kids.
I’d mentioned that in my experiences, I have never fucked a guy and he’s told me not to cum in him and it’s implied that it’s exactly what I’m going to do since, um, what other reason would I have to go there other than to inseminate him to make myself – and him – a happy camper? As I continued my mini-rant, I allowed to myself that, indeed, things are different these days; some guys actually want to be ridden hard and have the, um, mess on them rather than in them and if they can see the guy losing his load, so much the better… and there’s… something about watching semen issuing forth that’s just fascinating to us – and I have no idea why. Part of my “rant” was that if you wanted to watch yourself bust a nut, you could’ve jerked off and spared me the discomfort and all that. Hell, if you wanted to see it “that bad,” I could have jerked you off so we both could see it.
Okay, yeah – very old school guy here and I do have the expectation that if you’re gonna stick it in me, you sure as hell better cum in me because I won’t be satisfied with anything that happened before this… even if I don’t really know why I’d be so dissatisfied and, again, I don’t pretend to understand what’s really going on with this except it’s something very… primal. “Nasty” in a good way. It’s not all that different from sucking a guy off; you want him to cum in your mouth (and provided you’ve acquired the taste) because to have him snatch the dick away and cum anywhere else feels… incomplete; like you did all of that work for nothing and whatever enjoyment you had having him in your mouth just went by the wayside.
Dude says, “I wanna cum on your face!” and my response will be, “Do it… and find out what’s gonna happen and I guarantee that you’re not going to like it.” Yeah… homey just does not play that shit anymore than I’m okay with getting boned and not being inseminated; if you’re not gonna do that, it would be best for both of us not to go there because, to be honest, I’m not in the mood to be pissed off about having sex. In negotiations with guys, every time they’ve expressed that they wanna “fuck the shit out of me then pull out and cum,” I have let them know that the deal has now been broken and that’s not negotiable. And the fucked up part is that I know why… and I don’t know. Now, I’ve had guys lose it before they could get it in – and I learned to be understanding about that and because it’s happened to me, too; it happens and there’s no need to get bent out of shape about it since it’s one of those “beyond your ability to really control” kind of things.
But, yeah – if you get it in, finish it. Cum in me because it strangely feels incredibly good to feel that dick pumping away and that “nasty, bitchy” feeling of being inseminated… like I’d do with a woman. It just doesn’t feel… right without it. Nowadays, guys get all into throwing the disease card around and that’s understandable and even their fears are understandable. Feeling a guy cutting loose inside a condom is… different. He finished inside you but not really. It’s “funny” that even though the risks of anal sex are always present and using a condom makes all the sense in the world (other than not going there at all), guys will go up in there raw because it… it doesn’t feel the same. Kinda satisfying but not really. Less messy and definitely safer but in the times I’ve been screwed with a condom it didn’t feel the same and I’ll be damned if I can explain it – and admit that, once again, I’m doing a poor job trying to.
During my “rant,” Cityman remained quiet and I didn’t find that unusual at all; not our first time talking about this particular thing. I remember him asking me why a guy he pulled out of got salty with him because he pulled out, I’d told him that he got pissy because you didn’t do what you were expected and supposed to do and, really, if the guy didn’t want him to cum inside him, he would have said so and maybe even decline to be screwed. And then I poorly tried to explain why getting splooged matters so much… and failed.
I wrote about this a little while ago and had mentioned me asking him, “Have you ever watched how a woman reacts when you cum in her?” and he allowed that he hadn’t – and that’s “okay” because most guys aren’t, um, paying attention to such things in that moment… but I had noticed it. They get… this look on their face and their body responds a certain way in that moment. Now, whether they have complaints or compliments after the fact is totally different but I’d seen this… look and as opposed to not seeing it when I had to pull out. Hmm. It took… a while before I’d get around to associating that look with how I’d feel when a guy was unloading in me and, holy shit: How much did I want to bet that I was reacting the same way? I really had to think about being just in that moment and, um, damn, yeah I probably did have that look on my face and I most certainly could recall how I felt in that moment.
Complete. Now, how I felt about it all afterwards was, again, different but in that moment? Homey did what he was supposed to do and, indeed, what I expected him to do: Finish me by finishing the job and making things… messy because it doesn’t feel all that good for that not to happen. I thought it was just me but a lot of guys have said similar things and there’s a connection or something going on that, well, I just suck at trying to explain.
For many of us guys who like to be screwed, if you’re gonna do it, finish it because you can probably bet anything you want that if you don’t, you will not be invited back for more of the same. Some guys say that it’s safer to pull out… and I call bullshit on that one because I know that it isn’t; the moment you came in contact, you assumed the risks and, really, you mean to tell me that you really believe that you spent all that time in homey’s butt and thought it would be safer not to cum in him… and considering where your dick was? What gets funnier is that guys don’t seem to have that same thought process when having anal sex with women who are into it and, yeah, if you stick it in them, you’d better finish it unless you’re instructed not to or it’ll suck to be you. Then again, having anal sex with a woman is often seen as being different than having it with a guy… and, nope, I have no idea why and few guys can explain it other than to keep saying that it’s different.
I get to rolling my eyes hearing guys going on and on about being bred and having their “pussy” fucked and creamed and if that’s the way they see it and how the reconcile it in their minds, okay – whatever works, my man – but the “key” point in this somewhat cockeyed way of looking at anal sex is being screwed and inseminated… because anything less than that is unacceptable. Ya had one job to do… and you didn’t do it, fella. All that interaction with our prostate is all well and good… but doesn’t serve as a “replacement” for being inseminated. Ya didn’t finish it, you selfish bastard and because you didn’t, you’ve left me feeling… incomplete. Personally pissed the fuck off. You were thinking more about what you wanted to do than you were about what the fuck you were supposed to do and it ain’t like you don’t or didn’t know what the fuck you were supposed to do. You just made everything that happened before… less than satisfying. And I’ll still be damned if I know why it feels that way…
I just know it does. Getting internally hosed down, I think, tells us how much you enjoyed being inside of us and the thought is that if you don’t do that, um, did you really enjoy us all that much? And by “us,” I mean both men and women. Sure… we might complain about the mess to be cleaned up but if we’re messy, it “says” that we both had a good time at it barring any other critiques like doing it too soon or taking too long and other such after action reports. Still, you came in us and that’s exactly what you were supposed and expected to do because until you do, things are… unfinished. Incomplete.
I can’t explain it…