Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: If You’re Gonna Do It, Finish It

Cityman and I had the most interesting conversation yesterday regarding anal sex; if this topic gives you the creeps, you can stop reading now.

So… he sent me a clip of a guy being screwed and my first thoughts were, “Okay, I don’t see what got his attention about this…” but I kinda patiently waited to see how this was going to turn out. The guy doing the fucking pulls out the expected long-assed dick and shot a couple of rather impressive gouts of spunk all over the other guy’s back. I had rolled my eyes, took a deep breath, and responded, “Wow… but what a waste; he should’ve put all of that in the other guy.”

The clip was in the amateur porn category and, as such, the time-honored money shot is a must – I get it even if, like much of porn, it doesn’t reflect real-life stuff all that much. And since I mentioned this to Cityman – and it’s not like he didn’t know this already since we’ve had this conversation a few times – we got into a differently worded discussion about finishing the job, to use this term. When he mentioned that, for real, there are probably reasons why the guy doing the fucking pulls out and hoses everything down, I wanted to know what those reasons were since, in my mind and experiences, there were no reasons for it that I was aware of.

He mention the risk of disease (not unexpected) and I said that all that went out the window the moment homey went in there raw… so what other reasons could there be? Cityman mentioned… um, the mess to be cleaned up and I said, “Of course it’s messy – duh!” At this point, I was sure that he really couldn’t point to a reason but I provided him one or two and beginning with the porn money shot and how some guys are… fascinated with watching themselves cum all over the place… but then often find themselves having to deal with an unhappy bottom because from this guy’s perspective, the job didn’t get finished as he expected it to be.

There is an… expectation that may not make a lot of sense to some folks but guys who like to be screwed expect you to leave the dick in there when you cum – and even if you do it in a condom – because to snatch it out in that moment is… pretty fucked up. Makes one feel incomplete and, as a few guys have related to me over the years, doing that can make one feel like they went through all of that… for nothing. Homey busted his nut and like he wanted to and by pulling out, deprived them of that… good feeling of being inseminated and, yeah, even if things get messy after the fact.

I really don’t pretend to fully understand why this is so important but it is. I allowed that as a form of birth control, yeah – pulling out of a woman who doesn’t want to get pregnant and/or not a fan of condoms or even allergic makes sense but even some women who employ this method have told me that it doesn’t feel the same; doesn’t mean the sex leading up to his release wasn’t good but it was… incomplete. The “job” wasn’t finished. It’s a sentiment I can identify with and ya might be… surprised that men can feel this way when we get screwed.

I kinda went off the rails at this point and short version is that if I deem that I want you to screw me – and it’s safe – okay, stick it in and get to fucking and, oh, yeah, don’t even think about pulling it out and shooting all over me because there will be… trouble and as the only two guys who did that to me found out. I was not amused nor was I all that understanding about them wanting to see their nut shooting out and even less amused when I said that because they did that, I left incomplete; unfinished; went through all of that pounding and stretching and didn’t get what I wanted out of the deal and, yeah, the motherfuckers just didn’t do and finish the job.

Cityman got “quiet” at this point and the only thing he said was that he found being screwed and inseminated to be very pleasing and strangely so. And I agreed; it is strangely pleasing and, eh, not so much if the insemination doesn’t happen. I even mentioned how some women get to feeling some kind of way when you don’t cum in them (or not at all) and many a guy has been baffled about this… unpleasantness coming from her and I figured out that it’s because homey either didn’t do the job or finish it and like he was supposed to, you know, once it’d been established that pregnancy wasn’t an issue or a concern or if the two of them were agreeable about having kids.

I’d mentioned that in my experiences, I have never fucked a guy and he’s told me not to cum in him and it’s implied that it’s exactly what I’m going to do since, um, what other reason would I have to go there other than to inseminate him to make myself – and him – a happy camper? As I continued my mini-rant, I allowed to myself that, indeed, things are different these days; some guys actually want to be ridden hard and have the, um, mess on them rather than in them and if they can see the guy losing his load, so much the better… and there’s… something about watching semen issuing forth that’s just fascinating to us – and I have no idea why. Part of my “rant” was that if you wanted to watch yourself bust a nut, you could’ve jerked off and spared me the discomfort and all that. Hell, if you wanted to see it “that bad,” I could have jerked you off so we both could see it.

Okay, yeah – very old school guy here and I do have the expectation that if you’re gonna stick it in me, you sure as hell better cum in me because I won’t be satisfied with anything that happened before this… even if I don’t really know why I’d be so dissatisfied and, again, I don’t pretend to understand what’s really going on with this except it’s something very… primal. “Nasty” in a good way. It’s not all that different from sucking a guy off; you want him to cum in your mouth (and provided you’ve acquired the taste) because to have him snatch the dick away and cum anywhere else feels… incomplete; like you did all of that work for nothing and whatever enjoyment you had having him in your mouth just went by the wayside.

Dude says, “I wanna cum on your face!” and my response will be, “Do it… and find out what’s gonna happen and I guarantee that you’re not going to like it.” Yeah… homey just does not play that shit anymore than I’m okay with getting boned and not being inseminated; if you’re not gonna do that, it would be best for both of us not to go there because, to be honest, I’m not in the mood to be pissed off about having sex. In negotiations with guys, every time they’ve expressed that they wanna “fuck the shit out of me then pull out and cum,” I have let them know that the deal has now been broken and that’s not negotiable. And the fucked up part is that I know why… and I don’t know. Now, I’ve had guys lose it before they could get it in – and I learned to be understanding about that and because it’s happened to me, too; it happens and there’s no need to get bent out of shape about it since it’s one of those “beyond your ability to really control” kind of things.

But, yeah – if you get it in, finish it. Cum in me because it strangely feels incredibly good to feel that dick pumping away and that “nasty, bitchy” feeling of being inseminated… like I’d do with a woman. It just doesn’t feel… right without it. Nowadays, guys get all into throwing the disease card around and that’s understandable and even their fears are understandable. Feeling a guy cutting loose inside a condom is… different. He finished inside you but not really. It’s “funny” that even though the risks of anal sex are always present and using a condom makes all the sense in the world (other than not going there at all), guys will go up in there raw because it… it doesn’t feel the same. Kinda satisfying but not really. Less messy and definitely safer but in the times I’ve been screwed with a condom it didn’t feel the same and I’ll be damned if I can explain it – and admit that, once again, I’m doing a poor job trying to.

During my “rant,” Cityman remained quiet and I didn’t find that unusual at all; not our first time talking about this particular thing. I remember him asking me why a guy he pulled out of got salty with him because he pulled out, I’d told him that he got pissy because you didn’t do what you were expected and supposed to do and, really, if the guy didn’t want him to cum inside him, he would have said so and maybe even decline to be screwed. And then I poorly tried to explain why getting splooged matters so much… and failed.

I wrote about this a little while ago and had mentioned me asking him, “Have you ever watched how a woman reacts when you cum in her?” and he allowed that he hadn’t – and that’s “okay” because most guys aren’t, um, paying attention to such things in that moment… but I had noticed it. They get… this look on their face and their body responds a certain way in that moment. Now, whether they have complaints or compliments after the fact is totally different but I’d seen this… look and as opposed to not seeing it when I had to pull out. Hmm. It took… a while before I’d get around to associating that look with how I’d feel when a guy was unloading in me and, holy shit: How much did I want to bet that I was reacting the same way? I really had to think about being just in that moment and, um, damn, yeah I probably did have that look on my face and I most certainly could recall how I felt in that moment.

Complete. Now, how I felt about it all afterwards was, again, different but in that moment? Homey did what he was supposed to do and, indeed, what I expected him to do: Finish me by finishing the job and making things… messy because it doesn’t feel all that good for that not to happen. I thought it was just me but a lot of guys have said similar things and there’s a connection or something going on that, well, I just suck at trying to explain.

For many of us guys who like to be screwed, if you’re gonna do it, finish it because you can probably bet anything you want that if you don’t, you will not be invited back for more of the same. Some guys say that it’s safer to pull out… and I call bullshit on that one because I know that it isn’t; the moment you came in contact, you assumed the risks and, really, you mean to tell me that you really believe that you spent all that time in homey’s butt and thought it would be safer not to cum in him… and considering where your dick was? What gets funnier is that guys don’t seem to have that same thought process when having anal sex with women who are into it and, yeah, if you stick it in them, you’d better finish it unless you’re instructed not to or it’ll suck to be you. Then again, having anal sex with a woman is often seen as being different than having it with a guy… and, nope, I have no idea why and few guys can explain it other than to keep saying that it’s different.

I get to rolling my eyes hearing guys going on and on about being bred and having their “pussy” fucked and creamed and if that’s the way they see it and how the reconcile it in their minds, okay – whatever works, my man – but the “key” point in this somewhat cockeyed way of looking at anal sex is being screwed and inseminated… because anything less than that is unacceptable. Ya had one job to do… and you didn’t do it, fella. All that interaction with our prostate is all well and good… but doesn’t serve as a “replacement” for being inseminated. Ya didn’t finish it, you selfish bastard and because you didn’t, you’ve left me feeling… incomplete. Personally pissed the fuck off. You were thinking more about what you wanted to do than you were about what the fuck you were supposed to do and it ain’t like you don’t or didn’t know what the fuck you were supposed to do. You just made everything that happened before… less than satisfying. And I’ll still be damned if I know why it feels that way…

I just know it does. Getting internally hosed down, I think, tells us how much you enjoyed being inside of us and the thought is that if you don’t do that, um, did you really enjoy us all that much? And by “us,” I mean both men and women. Sure… we might complain about the mess to be cleaned up but if we’re messy, it “says” that we both had a good time at it barring any other critiques like doing it too soon or taking too long and other such after action reports. Still, you came in us and that’s exactly what you were supposed and expected to do because until you do, things are… unfinished. Incomplete.

I can’t explain it…

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: To Continue…

In talking about submissive bisexual men, I’d be remiss not to bring in the other sexual aspect: Getting screwed. Fasten your seat belts; the time machine is cranked up and ready to go…

If you did the one thing – suck dick – chances were you did the other thing – get fucked. I don’t really remember when we all got it into our heads to include and do this in our, ah, activities but it got included. Some guys were okay with it, some weren’t and, yes, the one gay kid in our group was definitely all for it – more about him in a moment. When someone asked, “Hey, you wanna go somewhere so we can do it?” that meant dicks would get sucked and asses fucked unless someone had something particular in mind and, at first, guys who didn’t want to do both were given disparaging looks and sometimes called out as being chicken but in those early days, it could be seen where we were finding out what our “favorite” things to do with each other. There were some guys you just didn’t want to be in your butt; not because they made it a terrible experience but because they somehow couldn’t “do it right” and make it feel really good.

Now to the gay guy. Effeminate and submissive. More “girl” than the real ones in the neighborhood and when he wasn’t with us, he mostly hung out with the girls and while there were those who’d tease him about that, um, let’s say that spending some time with him would change their minds about teasing him. In comparison, he made me look like I didn’t like sex at all and there were many times when we’d cave in and have sex with him just to stop him from asking over and over. He and I would talk – we were friends and lived in the same apartment building – and sometimes, if I hadn’t known that I was talking to a guy, I’d swear I was talking to a girl. When the fellas got together, we’d talk about girls and, yeah, who you could do it to and who you couldn’t but when talking to him, we talked about boys and I got to know a lot of stuff about the guys in the neighborhood that I hadn’t known before including who he liked to have sex with more than others and, yes, I was on the favored list but, still, he would be so… bubbly about having sex with us and even more so when he was being fucked.

He’d talk about it in terms that I was familiar with and not so much. He would often say that if that was all he could do, he’d be more than happy and I would think back to the times when I’d have sex with him to notice that while he had the time of his life sucking me, he was the most happiest when I screwed him. In this, he’d make those of us who liked being fucked look like we didn’t and, indeed, if one were to close their eyes while doing him, it would be almost like doing it to a girl – just with a lot more moaning and stuff. I’d sometimes run into him and he’d be rip-roaring mad because he didn’t get screwed and to the point where he’d be in tears at times. I “hated” talking to him when he’d get like this because, I learned, I had no real idea of how much it meant to him and how… incomplete it made him feel.

With the rest of us, eh, if dicks didn’t go into asses, it wasn’t that big of a deal since sometimes, there was no time for it, butts would be all sweaty and “funky” – stuff like that or, simply, getting sucked off a few times was easier. But for him – and it would be a whole lot of years before I could recognize his submissiveness – if you didn’t screw him, he was very unhappy. I ran into him many years later and we talked about “the good old days” and he was a study in submissiveness and, at the time, even more so. It wasn’t that he’d give up his ass as a matter of course – he’d be a bottom in today’s terms – but he “got off” on being demeaned, humiliated, and abused while getting nailed. He had told me that back in the day, he felt the most… complete when guys would just use him as they saw fit and the more dominant they were about it, the better. This new information explained a lot about his behavior early on but, again, it was something that I couldn’t relate to; any guy who “got out of line” with me when his dick was in my ass would immediately face my wrath and great displeasure and, sometimes, pain was something they’d find they didn’t enjoy a whole lot.

At the time, he gave me not only a lot of insight about himself in this but the other gay men I’d run into and have sex with and I could then see how some of those other guys were more assertive while my childhood friend was more passive and, yeah, submissive. While I could understand the premise of feeling good because you made the other person feel good, my friend – and other guys like him – redefined and expanded what this meant and while my old friend regaled me with times he was fucked that made me wince, he lived for this and, I thought, not just because he was gay.

Parking the time machine now. There are a lot of guys on the forum who are like my childhood friend. Manly men as a matter of course and very damned submissive when getting some dick. I can’t forget reading what some guy wrote on one of the many topics about being fucked: “Fuck me like the bitch I am!” Indeed, for many of these submissive “anal bottoms,” the more they’re being dominated, the better it makes them feel since the guy hammering the living daylights out of his hole – and doing stuff like slapping him around, calling him all kinds of bitches and whores and the like – was deriving much pleasure at being able to use him as he wanted to. Not all of these guys like or prefer it rough but they admit to feeling the most pleasure to submissively be made love to in that everything that took place was all about the other guy and how it made them feel to, well, submit. To be owned. Often being more than willing to obey any commands given to them. To be made to submit which I thought was redundant since they were already submitting to begin with but, okay, I was picking up on what they were putting down.

It’s not just that being screwed feels good; for these submissive men, it felt better than just feeling good and having one’s prostate being stimulated; it would, as I say, let their inner girl out to play and revel in being used for another man’s pleasure and, boy, do they ever get to feeling some kind of way if a guy screws them and doesn’t cum… and a sentiment that even I know about. I was talking to my protégé about this one day and he was having a bit of a hard time understanding why the bottoms he was having sex with were behaving the way they were and, upon hearing about how they were behaving, well, they were being their normal submissive selves. He had a “problem” with cumming inside them and couldn’t understand why some of them would literally have a hissy fit… and I found myself trying to explain it to him. Those submissive guys he was happily screwing lived to have cum inside of them and felt that their submission was… incomplete any time he pulled out of them. I had asked him if he had ever noticed how some women react when he unloaded in them and compared to when he pulled out – and he really had to stop and think about that for quite some time before he admitted that he noticed that, yeah, there’s a difference.

“Guys are like that, too,” I had said. “It seems that the more submissive they are, the more important it is to them that you unload into them; otherwise, you pretty much nullified their submission and have now left them feeling unfulfilled and, as you mentioned, making them think that they weren’t pleasing you at all.”

And, it seems, for the guys who live to have their hole “used and abuse,” their submission in this means everything. I tend to roll my eyes when such men refer to their asshole as a pussy; I’m just too literal-minded – males who are born male don’t have pussies and I’ve seen enough pussies to know the difference… but I get it. This is the submissive girl inside of them coming out and partying to the max. Suck dick? Fine… but only as a prelude to getting that dick inside of them and some admit to only giving a “token amount of head” because they’re still men and they know all too well what won’t happen if they suck the guy and he loses his load… and they’re not going to be happy about that.

Much like my childhood friend would be. I didn’t really understand it then and I don’t really pretend to understand it now other than at an intellectual level. I understand what it means to them to be submissive in this aspect and nothing else matter to them than to have a man inside of them and doing whatever and, as one very professed submissive bottom said, “Fill me up to overflowing – then do it again.” There are guys who don’t mind being screwed; there are guys who like it – having your prostate stimulated in this way can be pretty mind-blowing – and then there are the submissive guys who just take being fucked to a whole different level and meaning and for a few of them, the more guys filling them up, the better and more submissive they feel. For some, their submission gets enhanced when things go into the BDSM aspects; tie them up, spank them, and other such things and that’s their idea of being in heaven.

Many of these guys dream of being gangbanged; just line up as many men as possible so they can submit to being cum dumps (to put it that way) and many of them are quite proud of the number of men they’ve been able to submit to in this fashion. Um, ah, I know what that’s like and admit that it was fun… but not something I’d ever do again but that’s me and I’m not submissive like these guys are. I’ll even admit that there are and have been times when I want to be screwed but if not, okay – don’t sweat the small stuff but for my submissive brethren, it is everything to them to be able to freely and willingly give up their ass and submit to whatever the guy wants and needs to do. It’s not just the physical pleasure but most definitely is about the emotional pleasure and that sense that when it comes to being with men, this is their mission in life. Not to just consent to sex but to fully submit to it and in any way you care to define the word.

And this aspect of the dynamic is changing to make being submissive not only a thing to do but a way to be and like being a submissive cock sucker, oh, I find this to be so very damned interesting because it was something that I used to see only in certain gay men back in the day… and none of these very submissive guys are gay. Guys like myself and my protégé can grudgingly admit to being screwed and feeling girly… but these submissive men “are girly” and in ways one normally doesn’t see in women, to speak generally (and put the knives away, ladies). Guys like myself and my protégé submit to being screwed but it pales in comparison to why and how these other men submit to it and, again, them being of a mind that this is their sole purpose in life while most of us, eh, we can take it or leave it.

It all makes me wonder about the direction male bisexuality is taking and, again, how some lines are being blurred between being bi and gay and leaning more toward the effeminate and, as such, having a great preference for dominant men who will just take full charge of them and use them as they see fit. There was a moment within the dynamic where if you were “acting like a girl,” don’t even bother to talk to some guys; they preferred to fuck guys who behaved just as manly as they perceived themselves to be but even in this, no matter how manly the guy being fucked was, he was expected and required to submit to the fucking without hesitation or reservation and, nope – he won’t be getting any of his ass. These… macho tops, I thought, really wanted someone more into submission and the guys who truly fit that description, well, let’s politely say that when someone was laying the pipe to them good and hard, being “manly” about it wasn’t what they were doing or even cared about.

You can often see it in “gay” porn where guys being fucked are being manhandled and loving every minute of it. I see it and it raises my hackles and gets me to thinking what I’d do to a guy who put me in a choke hold while banging my hole like tomorrow would never come… but there are very submissive men who live to be fucked this way and with varying degrees of being “dominated” either lightly or in ways that makes me cringe – and I’ve seen some stuff in my time. I understand my own biases in this but this isn’t about what I’d do or not – it’s about understanding why these men are the way they are and I’m getting there.

It’s physical, emotional and key to their perception of themselves. Again, when they’re not with men, they’re, well, men and in every way that can mean including their lust for women but to be able to submit and give themselves over to men? Priceless. Nothing’s better than having a hard dick plowing their south forty and seed being sown. Such guys talk about being bred, a notion that makes my eyes roll because literal-minded me says that only women can be bred since, um, they’re the only ones who can be impregnated… but these guys don’t think or feel this way because this is who they are when it comes to having sex with men.

I would suppose that when some folks think about bisexual men, they might tend to think that we’re all the same and we are not and just like everything else regarding male bisexuals, the devil lives in the details and it’s not about what; it’s about why and it’s not so much complicated as it is complex since their submissive nature is right at the core of who they are. Not of a mind to stick it in them? Eh, you’re useless. Of a mind to pull out of them? What the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, they can be just as submissive when sucking dick but their true submissiveness doesn’t come out until you get the dick in them and screw them silly… and don’t forget to cum in them because it completes them; it “closes the circle” and brings deep meaning to them and I can understand some of that because I don’t and never feel complete in that sense if a guy doesn’t – or refuses – to cum in me. I get… pissy about it but not like the submissive men I know of.

I was with a guy like this and we’d been going at it hot and heavy and I got overstimulated big time. I’m in him and doing my best to cum and it wasn’t happening… so I withdrew… and caught nine kinds of hell for it. I was, what’s the word, stupefied that this guy was reading me the riot act and had me thinking that he was going to take a swing at me… but then, as he ranted and raved and called me all kinds of unkind names, I thought back to my childhood and very effeminate and submissive gay friend and how he behaved when he got fucked and the other guy didn’t cum. This guy was damned near in tears because he felt that because I didn’t cum, I was totally displeased with him and that made him unhappy about himself and kept asking me what he did wrong. I told him that with the way we’d been going at each other before I got into him, I’d gotten overstimulated and while I don’t know about other guys, I know that when I’m in this state, if I had to cum to save my life, I would be quite dead – it just wasn’t going to happen. I felt bad enough about that to begin with and it wasn’t until after he calmed down that I really understood how much that meant to him and his submissiveness – and yes, I knew he was because he told me that but I’d say it was my “fault” that I didn’t, at the time, understand it and how much it really meant to who he was as a person.

While situations like that were… an exception and not including the effeminate gay and submissive guys I’d encountered, it’s becoming more prevalent these days as more and more men are very much getting in touch with themselves and, apparently, a lot more than being bisexual can do. It’s sex (and highly prohibited) but for many men, it is much, much more than just sliding your dick into them and happily busting a nut and just like everything else in the ever-changing dynamic, I find this utterly fascinating to bear witness to. I know I couldn’t be that way but, again, this isn’t about me but all about them and why they are the way they are and more so when, in their normal day-to-day lives, they’re doing “man things” and just like we’re supposed to be doing…

Until the opportunity comes to get some dick… and the change some guys undergo can be startling As I said yesterday, when we consent to have sex with another guy, we are submitting to whatever we agreed to do, whether it’s sucking dick or fucking but submissive bisexual men takes this to a very different level and sets themselves aside from “regular” bi guys like myself and a great many other men. I’d say that to us, it’s sex but to them? Way much more than that and now a thing that I don’t think can be only associated with effeminate gay men any longer and, as such, some lines are again being blurred that were once quite defined and roles delineated.

Fascinating to be learning about all of this and being able to see the way things used to be from my perspective and seeing how the dynamic has evolved. Once upon a time, being screwed in the ass was a “sissy” thing and very damned unmanly and if you really liked it, well, what the hell is wrong with you and are you really gay? Not any more.

Not any more.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The OTHER Anticipation

Heart pounding like a jackhammer; that weird sense of anticipation and trepidation that comes when your in a position and you’re just moments away from some other guy getting ready to push his cock into your ass and knowing that it’s going to feel good and not so much.

You look forward to it; you want it and not just because it’s something he wants to do but you know that it’s what really closes the circle when it comes to having sex with other men. Before he even gets around to pressing his knob against my well-lubricated hole, goodness; so many thoughts and feelings are running around inside of me. It’s not like I’ve never been here before and that this part of things is all that unknown to me since, and I’ll say a bit embarrassing, I’ve probably been fucked more than most women I know.

Not because I had “no choice” in the matter but because I wanted to; because it makes me feel a certain kind of way that conflicts greatly with what I’ve been told about what males should and should not ever do with each other… and then learning a different truth about this as well as understanding that our “job” as men – the thing we’re biologically hard-wired to do – is to fuck, to slide our dicks in and work them until we cum and, hopefully, the person we’re fucking will enjoy it, too. But it’s so very different when it’s you about to be fucked… and I know this. It excites me as much as it bothers me, not because I know that it’s going to hurt going in – you just train mind and body to get used to it and to even embrace the pain and discomfort of entry.

No… what “bothers” and excites me is how it’s going to make me feel, from feeling unnaturally dirty and filthy since, you know, he’s about to fuck me in my ass to getting a very good understanding of what it feels like to be a girl and there’s no telling how I’m going to be feeling once I feel his knob begin to press into me but I know that I’m going to like it… and not so much and knowing this makes the anticipation even worse… or better?

Even when I hear him ask, “Are you ready?” and I say that I am, I’m sure that I am… and sure that I’m not, too. Ideally, this shouldn’t be a problem because, again, it’s not the first time nor will it be the last time (unless I deem it so) but I also know it’s that voice in my head that likes to loudly remind me of how wrong this is and even more wrong that when, prior to assuming the position, I was sucking his cock and as if my very life depended on it… and maybe it really did but I don’t have time to ponder this because here comes the pressure…

Mind and body automatically relaxes, ready to embrace the discomfort and there’s a sense of helplessness in knowing that he’s now in control of how things are going to take place and I’m at his mercy and his own ideas about how to best get all of his cock into me; fast or slow does make a difference and while I know I can always say something about this, there’s something… exciting about remaining silent and as to see if he’s really as good at this as he said he was… and that I hope he is. I can feel those muscles whose job it is to keep things in protesting about being made to allow something in… and in the back of my mind, I actually “hear” myself laughing because it’s true that if something big can come out of there, something big – and even bigger – can go in there. I am so relaxed that if I relax any more, I might nod off for a moment and given how much effort I put into to giving his dick a very good sucking.

God… it hurts and hurts so good now that he’s in me; it’s scary good anticipation because I do not know what he’s going to do now that he’s in me and as far as he can manage; will he fuck me slowly and with tenderness… or is he going pause for just a moment before fucking me with short, hard, and fast strokes that will jar my body and shake my organs around in ways they don’t like being shaken? I can, if I wanted to, say something to him about that… but I also know that I can’t trust myself to say what I mean; how many times have I thought to tell him to go slow and easy… but what comes out of my mouth is something entirely different? Fuck me… make me feel you inside of me and fill me with your maleness and manhood.

I feel so… feminine that the man inside of me – and the man I know myself to be and without question – who should be very used to this, is having a fit along with that damned voice in my head that keeps asking me what am I doing and why am I not only allowing him to fuck me like a girl but I have the damned nerve to be liking it? Ah… he feels so good inside of me and while it doesn’t hurt a whole lot now, it still hurts so good; I can feel his cock against my prostate and no matter how many times I’ve felt this, it feels so weird feeling his cock knob giving it a good beat-down and making me feel things I still haven’t learned to put into words.

My own dick, which was very hard before he mounted me and inserted himself into my body, is not only soft but… diminished and so much smaller than what’s normal for me to be flaccid. Even as he continues to fuck into me, grunting and groaning and telling me how good my ass feels around his hardness, there’s always that one part of my mind that’s detached and not paying attention to the fact that I’m being fucked in the ass… and wondering how some guys can get fucked and their dick is as hard as steel the whole time. Then again, that might be because I’m laying on it and in my favorite and most preferred way to be fucked: On my stomach and with him lying atop me, thrusting over and over into me as I bear up – and enjoy – being fucked and having his weight pressing down on me. Ah… that just feels so good… and I’ve never understood why it does.

I love being fucked and as much as I don’t like it; I’ve learned that I really don’t like being fucked for a long period of time – and, again, something I know that women aren’t as fond of as us guys like to believe. I can feel the lube beginning to break down and become less viscous; I can feel the heat and friction of his cock inside me and it’s now becoming the kind of uncomfortable that I just don’t enjoy and never did. His thrusts into me are still jarring my body and I am oddly very much aware of how wide his prick has stretched my hole open to accommodate him and it all feels good and not all that much but I know that this is just what must be endured – and enjoyed – so that he will get to the moment I’m almost ashamed to admit that I enjoy the most:

When he cums inside of me; to be inseminated and exactly as I’ve inseminated so many men and women. I know what it means, what it implies and I always – always – remember that one time when a guy fucking me cried out that he was gonna cum and my idiot mind say, “He’s trying to get you pregnant!” Impossible, of course, but yeah – that’s the whole “thing” about unloading one’s seed into someone else in this manner. Even in my somewhat dream-like state, I know he’s getting close and mostly because he’s doing everything he can think of not to cum and this time isn’t any different from any other time I’ve been fucked; I’m getting… miffed because I want him to cum inside me and he’s back there fucking around and as to not just go ahead and do what the fuck I need him to do; otherwise, all of this has been for nothing, hasn’t it? But I know what to do and I do it; I tell him, “Stop playing around and bust that nut in me! Cum in me! Do it! Give it to me! I need it… and I need it now!”

Yeah, it’s a trick that I actually learned from women who’ve told me how to get a guy to cum when he’s taking his own sweet time about it… and they’re not feeling that. Indeed, there have been so many times when I’ve been impaled by a dick and I’ve hated him being in me so much that I’ve actually be silently praying for him to hurry up and cum so he can get the hell out of me. Yes… I could have demanded it and in the moment it stopped being fun and pleasurable and, yes… I have made guys get out of me when they’ve refused to immediately cease, desist, and withdraw immediately but I really do understand why some women won’t and don’t to this and why it makes sense to just let him finish. But this isn’t one of those awful moments; his cock has felt nice inside of me and my prostate has been nicely stimulated and all that… but now it’s time for the gravy on top of the whole thing.

I feel his cock swelling inside me, stretching my hole out even more and like that tends to do, it hurts really good; I hear him cuss; I feel him ram his cock into me as far as he can get it… and I can feel it pumping away inside of me and as always, it’s both an ugly and dirty feeling that also feels so goddamned good. I feel so… bitch-like and girly; it used to bother me a lot but I learned that if I embrace these feelings instead of fighting them, being fucked feels so much better, has much more meaning other than that which is obvious. There’s a kind of joy and even a sense of relief as his contractions in my ass begin to weaken and diminish; I can feel him starting to soften as he continues to fuck into me, milking the last dregs of cum. I can feel the feverish heat emanating off of him in waves as well as his sweat that’s been raining down onto me the whole time.

He’s beginning to withdraw and there’s a part of me that still wants him to stay inside me… but get the fuck out of me and it’s such an absurd thought that I’ve sometimes caught myself laughing at myself to be of such a confusing mind. I know his sperm is inside me and sometimes I can feel it there and depending on how much he’s unloaded into me, it’s already starting to ooze out and my hole is both pleasantly and unpleasantly sore and tender. And here’s the funny part: I’m glad that he’s finished and not all that happy that he is; I want him back in me because the part I really found that I don’t like is the emptiness he’s left me feeling; what an odd feeling that is and one that no one who has never been fucked could possible understand.

He’s telling me how good it was for him and, predictably, asking me if it was good for me and I say that it was and, often, let it go at that because I also know and have learned that there are some guys who really don’t want to know what I thought about being fucked by them or the truth that the only thing I really liked about it was the moment he shot his load into me. I’ve even had guys ask me if I came while they were fucking me and while I know and can tell him that having him inside of me gave me quite a few orgasms, that’s not what he’s asking; he wants to know if he fucked me so good that his cock in my ass made me bust a nut of my own.

And sometimes it has… but not as a matter of course and not this time; I can count on one hand the number of times a guy has fucked me so good that I’ve ejaculated and without my dick being hard. Nah… he doesn’t need to know this because I know how fragile the male ego really is – sometimes it really is better not to ask questions you really don’t want to hear the answers to. I used to feel bad about lying to a guy and telling him how good he was at fucking me… when the reality was that I had some regrets over the whole thing, well, until he did the one thing I like men doing – cumming in me, feeling his cock pulsing and pumping away in there… and knowing exactly what it all really means.

I don’t feel all that bad if his fucking left me feeling less than satisfied but I tell him that he did a good job anyway… and I do very much understand why women do the exact same thing. As we recover and decide on what, if anything, is going to happen next – there’s always this… argument going on inside my head: If being fucked can be so “iffy” and other such things, why do I want to be fucked and let certain guys fuck me? Um, because it feels good to be fucked and in ways that none of what I’ve written here today really does any justice to how it makes me feel.

Good. Sometimes not so much and more so if the guy was hammering me like he was trying to insert his whole body into mine. I feel… dirty and in a way that there’s no amount of soap and water that will ever make me feel clean again… and that’s not necessarily a bad thing every time and, yeah, not this time. I feel… like myself because part of who I am has an inner girl who not only loves to suck cock but also loves to be fucked. It exposes me, challenges my perception of being male, it make me feel… whole and complete and in a way not many can really understand. We’re looking at each other and I can hazard a guess as to how he might be feeling and it’s probably as good and as bad as I’m feeling. And the good and bad part?

My dick is back to being very hard and he sees that I am… and he knows that it’s going to be his turn to be fucked and to feel the anticipation and, yes, even some concern since he’s already spilled his load and I know his body is telling him that having more sex? Don’t even think about it! I know what he’s thinking; he really doesn’t want to be fucked but he wants to be and he even agreed, way back before any of this got started, that he wants to be fucked and have me bust a nut inside of him. He’s now feeling the same excitement and trepidation that I felt; I can feel it in his body as I slip my lubricated fingers into his tight hole and I’ve learned not to laugh – aloud – when thinking that his hole isn’t going to keep being this tight for very long. I can hear how he’s breathing and why he’s breathing the way he is, not just to relax and in anticipation of me invading his body but because he’s already spilled his seed, he’s really not feeling this so much… and I know this; I understand it; and it matters to me… and doesn’t as I position my lubed-up prick at the entrance of his forbidden place, and push…

The real truth, as I sink my dick into his body, is that I really kinda/sorta don’t want to fuck him but, at the same time, oh, yeah – I most certainly do and I’ve wondered why I tend to feel this way and it’s probably because I empathically know what he’s feeling as inch after inch of my hardness slides into him; I can feel his body trying to get me out of there even as it’s allowing me inside of him – and I know all too well what that feels like since my body just recently did the same thing to him. I can even feel his sperm still oozing out of me as I begin to fuck him; even though I still kinda don’t like this, it’s a silly thought because fucking feels so good; the slick tightness of his ass, the combined heat of our bodies and know that he’s feeling similar things that I felt when I was impaled upon his cock and making contact with his prostate. I know what he knows; I’m still oddly feeling what he’s feeling now and I know he’s waiting for that moment when he feels my cock swelling inside of him before it starts to pump my seed into him.

Dirty. Nasty. Generally accepted as forbidden and no matter if the person being fucked in the ass is male or female… but that’s also the fun of it all, to do the forbidden things that “decent” people are too afraid to experience. Ah… it feels so good to cum in him; it feels good to know that he’s feeling what I felt not that long ago when it was his dick making that nice, spermy delivery. I can feel the refracting setting in as I slowly withdraw from him – and the site of my cock in his ass did go a long way to making my release an even better one and, yes, my seed is starting to ooze out and I know he’s going to like that as much as I did… and not like it as much as I didn’t because that empty feeling is a bitch to deal with.

I don’t know about him but there’s never been a time that I’ve been fucked and I’ve not said, “I’m not gonna do this again.” I’ve said it; I’ve sworn to never be fucked and inseminated again; and I know it’s a lie I keep telling myself because there will be another time when I will want and need to be fucked and I’ll want and need this even when the next guy and I agree that there will be no fucking. I don’t know about him or any other guy in this… but I know myself. I know that I can happily be sucking on his cock or he’s sucking on mine and the next sound I hear is my own voice saying, “Fuck me… stick it in me and fuck me; I want you to cum inside of me…”

And the other anticipation – the anticipation of knowing that I’m about to get fucked – is so good and delicious and greatly satisfied as I feel his knob press against my hole… and slips inside to once again spread me open and it hurts so good and in a way that only feeling him cumming inside of me will make the pain go away and make all of this worth going through…

The thing I always take away from this… other than having a load of sperm inside of me? It’s an understanding of what women think and feel like when I want to fuck them and when I do; I know what it feels like to submit to something that, sometimes, you really don’t want to do but it’s gonna happen anyway because, well, it’s supposed to. I know, like they know, what feels so stupidly good about it… and what feels so terribly awful about being fucked and that, yeah – men are just not all that good at fucking as they think they are and that they tend to talk shit that they can’t back up with their body. I even know that men can cum too fast and sometimes before they can get the head into me – and it’s so annoying that I had to learn not to get pissed off about it and, given what I know about fragile male egos, learned to not make a fuss about it and more so since it’s not like I’ve not had that happen to me before – it just is what it is. But if he does manage to get the head in and then cums right then and there, well, hmm – didn’t he do what I wanted him to do? Yeah, he did and sometimes – and thankfully – it didn’t take him forever and one dark day to do it which is fine and dandy with me and, yep – I know what women know about this, too.

We’re done fucking each other and now it’s time to get cleaned up, get dressed, and go on about the rest of our day. My ass is sore but in a good/not good way that again makes me lie to myself and say, “We won’t be doing this again anytime soon…” while already thinking about what the next time is going to be like and beginning with the anticipation of feeling yet another cock knob pressing against my hole and being impaled upon his length and girth and being fucked by him for as long as it’s going to take to experience the best part of this nasty, dirty, invasion:

When he cums inside of me.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Some Thoughts About Anal

Here comes a “duh” moment: Guys like to fuck. There are guys who like to fuck other guys. The “bad” news is that other than a guy’s mouth, he’s only got one orifice to take care of that need and desire to fuck.

Another “duh” moment: There are guys who like to get fucked and the bigger the dick that fucks them, the better. On the other hand, there are a lot of guys who think about fucking or being fucked and while it sounds good on paper, well, hmm.

Yet another “duh” moment and a bit of a misconception: When two guys get naked, someone is getting fucked… which isn’t all that true because a lot of guys don’t have a sense of humor about their backside being touched and even if the person touching their ass has MD after their name.

A back in the day moment for ya: I remember my first full day in USAF basic training at Lackland AFB in San Antonio, Texas, and, specifically, that moment when we were ordered to line up outside the squadron complex’s barber shop to get shorn like the sheep we were. Our drill instructor was yelling and barking at us to hurry up and form a line – then, I guess, he wasn’t happy with our idea of getting in line because he started yelling at us to tighten up the line and added, “Make the guy in front of you smile!”

“What the fuck is he talking about?” I wondered to myself as I scooted forward until my front touched the backside of the guy in front of me… and when the guy behind me did the same thing, I’ll be damned if I didn’t smile! The guy in front of me looked back at me and, how about that – he was smiling, too!

The guy behind me muttered, “Damn… this is making my dick hard…” and, yup, he was smiling as well.

Guys on forums talk about this a lot and I estimate that it’s the number two thing guys talk about and it’s a very close second to sucking dick (and close enough to make ya smile). Some guys are all for anal sex/play, some avoid it like the plague because as everyone knows, um, it can really hurt going in and other than a bad toothache, for some, they’d rather have the toothache than to experience that brief moment of having their anal sphincters tested for elasticity.

One would think that given how… uncomfortable it can be, guys wouldn’t be so eager to get into it but, again, when a guy wants to fuck another guy – and that guy very much wants to be fucked, well, you get the picture. Those of you who might be shaking your head at this point might also be wondering how it could possibly feel good to either guy – and more so if you’ve never been, ah, anally invaded – but rest assured that once it goes in and ya got a moment or so to adjust to the intrusion, it actually doesn’t feel all that bad.

For the guy doing the fucking, it’s not unheard of that we love putting our dicks in tight places and, um, I’d waffle a bit and say that there’s no tighter place on one’s body given the job assigned to the two sets of anal sphincter muscles which, of course, were designed to keep… stuff in while keeping other things out. Now, this next thing might sound both strange and maybe even familiar and I can sum it up in two words: Anal retentive and, nope, not talking about attitude but without getting too gross about it, there are some people who delay going for as long as they can manage because it kinda/sorta feels good to hold it.

If you’re the guy getting boned you most certainly get to find out what women like and don’t like about it but just like everything else, the devil is in the details and there are a lot of “in between” things that makes getting dicked so pleasant, from having a hard dick inside you to feeling the other guy’s weight on you and depending on the position. I’ll even admit that I’ve had a guy on top of me wailing away and I’ve been so relaxed I’ve felt myself drifting off to take a nap… unless he’s going at it so vigorously that there’s a couple of things on my mind like, for one, why did I think this was a good idea and, for the other, I’ll be glad when he gets done.

Cityman asked me what was the best part of getting boned for me and I said that for me, the best moment is when I can feel his dick pumping away inside of me. He had asked if feeling “girly” was a good part and, admittedly, if anything is gonna make a guy feel girly, being screwed will most certainly handle that but while a lot of guys don’t like feeling that way, it does take a bit of mental rearrangement to get used to that rather unmanly feeling. He did ask if I liked the “going in” part and while I had learned not to pay a lot of attention to that – paying attention to it going in can make your whole body tense up and that’s not a good thing but, I also thought that I don’t think I know of anyone who likes that particular part of it.

What goes through a guy’s mind when he’s being boned? Depends on the guy. When I was all into it, I could tell you what was going on in my mind – a lot of stuff but one of the tricks to getting used to being screwed in the butt is to “look” for the pleasure in it and that usually calls for not really thinking in that sense but embracing what you’re feeling – it’s not easy to put into words and, honestly, a lot of whatever might be going on in someone’s head also depends on how the other guy is handling his part of things; some guys are gonna do their best not to make it anymore uncomfortable than it’s been to that point while others are of a mind to not only make you think about how uncomfortable it felt going it but to keep that very irritating feeling going for as long as he can manage it.

And some guys just live for it to be as uncomfortable as humanly possible and if the guy who’s boning them isn’t putting all the effort and force into the fucking, well, he could be deemed to be not very good at it.

Did you know that the word “fuck” comes from the German word “fuch,” which means “to strike?” I didn’t know it either until I had stumbled across it years ago – who knew? Sounds kinda violent, doesn’t it but when put into the sexual context, it really does fit, doesn’t it?

There is an expectation or even assumption that if you’re a guy who’s into guys, putting dick into ass – and getting dick in your ass – is a given and some guys are “terrified” to think that they’re gonna be called on to do either thing. If you’re thinking that the guy doing the fucking has the easy part, well, he really doesn’t and – get this – some guys couldn’t do it even if they wanted to because the moment they try to poke someone in the butt, they go from painfully erect to softer than normal… but the moment they stop trying, they’re back to being painfully erect. Why?

It’s their mind fucking with them and a conditioned aversion to not be messing around anywhere near that hole except for the one reason why it has to be messed with and, preferably, with lots of toilet paper involved or whatever they use to wash that area.

Some guys “default” to being a bottom and even refuse to attempt being the one putting the dick in, not just because of that conditioned aversion but something a bit more embarrassing – premature ejaculation. To understand this, it helps to understand how a dick works – friction is the enemy and so is pressure; some guys – and regardless to the degree of lubrication – make that initial push to get past the sphincter muscles and the pressure and friction of entry pulls the trigger on them because even the most well-fucked ass will present a measure of resistance even with the slickest lube humans can make. So, yeah – a guy who’s had this happen – or a guy who is pretty sure that’s what will happen – would prefer not to have this happen because even though it’s really just one of those things, it’s still pretty damned embarrassing so that’s something they’d not have to deal with if they’re just taking the dick and not trying to give it.

And some guys do get very pissed off behind this; they’ve gotten their mind and body all ready for a good, long fucking, homey gets it in and, fuck, the next thing they feel is that mad crazy pumping. And before you ask, yeah – I used to get pissed off about that as well but I reasoned that it didn’t make sense to get bent out of shape over something the other guy really doesn’t have any control over and, besides, um, he did just do what I wanted him to do, didn’t he? I’ve had guys profusely apologizing and I’ve honestly told them that it’s no big deal… because it isn’t that big of a deal. It happens and while I do understand how embarrassing it is, it serves no useful purpose to dwell on it.

One guy I was talking to back then and we were “comparing notes” on this aspect said that he always gets pissed off behind an early release and, sure, I could understand why but I had said to him, “Look at it this way, if you can – your ass was so good to him that he had no choice but to cut loose and cream you!”

He blinked… and said, “So, what you’re saying is that if he takes a long time to cum, my ass might not be that good to him?”

“If it helps to think that way, sure,” I said with a shrug. “That’s one way to look at it but it’s better than getting all bent out of shape over something he doesn’t really have any control over, isn’t it?”

Women complain about it, too… but it’s also true that some women don’t see a point in complaining about it and especially the woman who is really happy that she doesn’t have to get “pretzelized” for a long period of time or, as one woman said to me once, “Who wants some two hundred pound guy pounding them like he’s got all year to bust that nut?” Makes sense given that friction is an issue for women, too, and there’s such an animal as too much friction and that’s something that doesn’t feel all that good.

While guys learn a lot about anal sex and from both sides of the equation, the biggest and, to me, most important lesson one can take away from this is finding out exactly what men put women through when we fuck them, both the good and bad of it. Guys love to ask women what it feels like to have a dick in them and while a woman can tell you whether or not it’s good or not so good, if a guy really wants to find out – and some really don’t – give up your ass to a guy and I guarantee that you’ll find out what women love and hate about it.

It often cracks me up to read guys who’ve never been fucked go on and on about wanting to be fucked and with big dicks… and I’ve said to myself, “That’s because you have no idea what that feels like… but you’ll find out.” Some guys, as previously mentioned, have their own toys they use to train their ass and mess around with their prostate which is good… but not even close to having the real thing inside them and having some seriously horny dude driving the bus. Indeed, some guys would prefer to be pegged by a woman than have to deal with everything that plays into have a real dick inside them.

Or, be careful what you wish for.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: What’s the Big Deal?

Forbidden. Off limits. Should have come with a “Do Not Enter” sign. Considered to be the dirtiest place on the human body. Will eventually be a focus of a doctor’s attention at some point in a man’s life and a place that can, in a few scant seconds, turn a ultra-macho dude into a bit of a punk when it’s time for him to get his prostate checked.

Yeah, you know the place I’m talking about and I’m thinking that if you picked up on all the clues, you’re either thinking, “Yeah!” or you’re looking for somewhere to hide. But for bi guys, it’s one of the two things that are mainly in play because I don’t know of too many guys who have, at the very least, wonder what it feels like to be fucked.

Likewise, I don’t know of too many guys who haven’t asked a woman what it feels like, only to be told, “It feels good…” which isn’t all that helpful but as with a lot of things about sex, how it really feels is couched in things that don’t have any words in any language known to mankind. And there are guys who wanna know what it feels like… but aren’t willing to endure that infamous painful entry everyone knows about… and even if they’ve never had their back door messed with.

Tops. Their role is to bring the noise to a bottom and fulfill their giver/receiver “duty” in receiving a good blow job before giving the guy who blew them a butt-hole full of very hard dick and followed by an insemination, either directly or into a condom.

Bottoms. I’d have to say that most are more than willing to place themselves into the female/submissive role of sex and be the one to do all of the cock sucking and in preparation of being fucked by an aforementioned top and for them, there’s nothing that comes close to comparing to the feeling of being penetrated and fucked, enjoying not only the, ah, very full feeling one can experience having a dick in their ass but also the really weird kind of good/bad feeling of having their prostate stimulated.

Versatiles. They get a mention because their very nature implies that it doesn’t matter to them if they top, bottom, or flip-flop in a single session.

Here’s the funny part. Many people assume – and thanks to what they’ve heard about homosexual men – that when two guys get together, they’re both getting fucked which, of course, isn’t the whole truth because some guys are really funny about that and to the point where if you even tried to just rub his back door, the reaction from him may not be pleasant. Even funnier, there are guys who have – or want to – bone a woman in her forbidden zone… but the thought of sinking their bone in a guy’s zone really freaks them out.

Go figure.

For the forum mention (and it’s still off-line for now), guys go back and forth on this; some can’t wait to finally get the answer to what it feels like to be fucked while many more worry and fret over catching something horrifically nasty but, for some reason, not even thinking about the fact that if they covered their cocks, um, that’s not likely to happen unless the condom fails. And, yeah – a lot of questions are asked about how to take a dick in the ass and it not hurt or otherwise feel uncomfortable. Now, there are ways to accomplish this and the Internet would be more than happy to tell you about it if you were to Google it.

For the guys who get boned regularly, they talk about how it makes them feel and mostly along the lines of “girly” – but not in a bad way – and vulnerable; not only does it feel incredibly good to them but by being in the position to be fucked, it gives them a great deal of satisfaction to be able to please the guy who’s fucking them. Some guys are “anal sex snobs” in that they want the dick to be really long and thick so it can hurt real good and when homey unloads, they’d better not skimp on the spunk.

Some guys can talk about their favorite part of being fucked. Some really enjoy those first moments of penetration because of the sensations as well as that sense of being vulnerable while others enjoy the “mid-game,” those moments when the cock is being driven into them gently or as roughly as the cock’s owner can manage and the deeper, the better and, likewise, the more their prostate gets involved, that’s nirvana. Many guys report having the most amazing orgasms while being fucked and many have voiced their utter surprise to find themselves ejaculating while being fucked… and their dick isn’t even hard.

Then there are the guys who will “put up with” the moment of penetration and the actual fucking because they’re waiting for the one thing that’ll really make enduring all of this worthwhile: That moment when the guy fucking them loses it and starts to cum. The feel of those pre-ejaculation tremors as well as feeling more full of dick as the cock expands some more… then that pumping action. You’re not really aware of how much spunk is being injected but, depending on the guy, wow – feeling the dick trapped in your forbidden zone and crazily pumping away inside you just doesn’t have words that lend themselves to describing it…

Other than to say that it feels good. Some guys say that in this moment, they’ve never felt more girly, more vulnerable and even “dirty” but in a delightful way. They know like women know including the fact that this moment either signals the end of a wonderful session… or the end of one they’re glad is over and done with.

Cityman and I were talking about this and, as a top, he couldn’t quite put his finger on why they guys he was fucking loved being fucked and especially when he creamed them. After I kinda laughed to myself, I asked him if he’d ever paid any attention to how a woman reacts when he busts a nut in her and, oddly enough and like a lot of guys, he said that he hadn’t. Then I asked him if he ever noticed how a woman might behave if he’s fucking her but he somehow couldn’t bust in her and he said that he had noticed that, um, she wasn’t very happy about that.

I explained to him that for women, sure, there’s satisfaction in being boned but the thing that can produce the most heady of feelings is when she can feel the guy cutting loose inside her, which is either the cherry on top of it all or the moment when she’s very happy that he’s finished trying to pound her into the next zip code or otherwise believing that he fucked her really good.

It’s a concept that’s not really all that hard to imagine during a discussion and, if you can pay attention, you can see a woman’s reaction but, um, given what the guy is doing in that moment, it is kinda difficult to spare some attention to how she’s reacting… but you’d really have to be on the receiving end of a hard dick to really understand why this is a big deal for those men who like to be fucked. And yes – he did ask me what my favorite part was and I told him it was the moment he started shooting his load into me (or the condom) and, no, I really couldn’t explain to him what it felt like or what was going through my mind; could be that sensual and “nasty” good feeling, could be that, “I’m so fucking glad he’s done – why did I think this was a good idea?” thing that generation upon generation of women have had going through their minds as well.

Again, some guys are “snobs” in that the longer you pound their hole, the better and if you don’t bust a nut, well, what the fuck is wrong with ya? It’s not unheard of for a guy to be in the process of sliding the boner in and the receiver is really tight – not enough lube, not really all that relaxed for entry or being penetrated is a kinda rare thing – and the effort to insert A into C causes a, eh, premature release… which could really make the receiver very, very unhappy… but I’d guess that depends on what part or parts of being fucked flips all the right switches.

It happens. Another thing some guys are known to get miffed about is when a guy gets the dick in, does some fucking and then, at the moment of “truth,” pulls the dick out and shoots cum everywhere except where the receiver wanted it. Now, some guys will say that they do this because of the health issues which is understandable but, um, if you went in there raw – and even if the receiver did his due diligence and cleaned in there (and as best as it can be done), the moment you got in there, you were at risk.

Duh. To this end, bleh, I think a lot of guys watch too much porn and get all into the money shot and there are a lot of guys who’d rather have the cum on them than in them but even when I’ve seen this in any form of porn, I just don’t get how getting cum shot anywhere but inside you is all that… satisfying and, yeah, I’m enough of a snob myself that such a thing would really piss me off; if ya really wanna make me feel good about what you did, put the stuff in me and not on me because when you don’t, um, didn’t you just cut out the most important part of being screwed?

None of this makes much “real” sense to anyone who has never been fucked and guys who’ve never been boned in the butt only think they understand what the guy on the other end is experiencing and how it’s making him feel so, yeah, when a top says that he doesn’t understand why the guy beneath him – or on top of him – is enjoying this so much, well, the only way to find out – and if ya really wanna know – is to switch places with him… provided the guy you’re with is of a mind to do you like that in the first place… and he might not be if he’s a totally dedicated bottom.

More funny stuff. Some women hear about guys who are into getting boned and they are repulsed by it although some who are into anal, sure, they get it but just like cock sucking, many women wanna know why a guy wants and/or needs to get fucked in the ass… and without giving a single thought about why they like/love to be fucked, I mean, outside of the “fact” that they’re the all-time and mandatory single focus of getting dicked – period. And I’ll say it again: Those “early adopter” women who strongly suggested that we get in touch with our feminine side probably didn’t even think of how we’d go about doing that and that to really get a better handle of what women experience, there’s only one sure way to get that handle and that’s to be seduced, screwed, and inseminated…

And, well, men only have two orifices that’ll serve that purpose.

Now, there are guys who would prefer to use toys instead of the real thing and you can go to your favorite on-line “toy store” and find specially designed toys to stimulate one’s prostate; some guys swear by them and some kinda/sort like it but there’s something missing. Some guys prefer to have a lady strap one on and give them the business and, oddly, the “taint” of bisexuality bypasses them because the woman pegging the daylights out of him is… a woman and not a guy. It’s not that they don’t find being pegged satisfying but there’s still something missing and it’s the one thing that’s probably best provided by the real thing although, as I understand it, there are toys that can simulate male ejaculation…

…but still not quite the same thing. A lot of guys have quite the collection of toys to play with, not just for the sensations a good toy can provide but to also train their anal muscles for the day when the real thing gets slid into them and some have even discovered that the use of poppers similar to amyl nitrite – works wonders for them. What this chemical does is cause a relaxation of certain smooth muscles while providing a rather euphoric high so a guy prepping himself with a good snort of his popper of choice probably wouldn’t even notice the dick going in him so much due to the degree of relaxation of the anal sphincters or they’re too buzzed to notice it a whole lot. Is is safe to use? Eh, kinda/sorta but the real “dangers” is in how these things tend to cause a quick drop in one’s blood pressure and that might not be a good thing and some folks can find that they’re allergic to these specific forms of nitrites.

All that popper stuff aside, I’m not saying that guys like to fuck other guys or, specifically, like to be fucked by other guys “just” to comply with the “get in touch” edict that was issued so long ago. Guys like to fuck (duh) and there are guys who like to be fucked; not only does it feel very good to them in many ways, if nothing else, they become that much more aware of what men put women through and, to that end, it does make them more appreciative of women as well as causing them to be just as picky as women can be about who gets to give them the dick.

Not every bi guy can do it or wants to and, for many, it’s not even a “default” M2M behavior because prepping to get fucked can be a bit involved and doesn’t lend itself to spontaneous moments even though some guys routinely keep their hole cleaned like they wash their face every morning which, by the way, could be a good and a bad thing depending on what’s being used for the cleaning; some stuff for this purpose can kill certain and necessary things in the rectum that allows it to do the job it was intended to do (and before two dude figured out that it can also be fucked); kinda like how gynecologists changed up and suggested that women don’t douche a whole lot and on an as-needed basis rather than as a matter of course.

Many guys want to find out what the big deal is and, frankly, they’re just too afraid to and, personally, I can’t say that I blame them. For the guys who’ve personally asked me if I thought they should give up their ass to be fucked, I tell them that they don’t have to if they don’t want to and if they don’t think they can handle it, then by all means don’t do it but it creates a bit of a quandary because they’re not gonna know if they can handle it unless they do it and using a toy is a “poor” substitute for the real thing that being driven by its owner’s lust. They, like so many others, assume that when two guys get together, some fucking has to be done, that a guy is expected, required, and demanded to give up his hole to be fucked.

And the guys who do aren’t gonna just give it up to any dude who asks for it.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Next, What to Do?

So you’ve gotten past your “Oh, shit!” moment and have realized that the only thing that’s really changed about yourself is your thoughts about sex and sexuality although, admittedly, there still may be some “issues” still running around between your ears.  Perhaps you’ve decided that there’s nothing you can – or want to – do about this but maybe this has been on your mind enough and you’ve been thinking about what you’d like to do about this, you know, if you could.

Another of those “way back in the day” moments.  When two guys decided they wanted to “do it to each other,” it was accepted that “it” was pretty much doing everything, from playing with each other’s dick, to sucking each other’s dick, to dicks going in each other’s butt or, at the very least, dicks going between butt cheeks… then repeat if necessary or possible.

I’d have to say that guys then didn’t have much in the way of preferences other than wanting to do it and it wasn’t like guys were in the habit of asking what one liked (or being asked); again, “doing it” was a package deal so if there was a question to be asked and answered, it was usually, “Where can we do this?”  “What” was the whole nine yards; “why” was kinda self-evident; “when” was usually right this moment (but dependent upon the answer to “where”).

Experiences and time would eventually start to shake things out into “I like this” and “I don’t like that” which also included that, “Put it in my butt – but don’t stick it in too far” and the “I’ll suck your dick – but don’t shoot in my mouth” things that would crop up from time to time.

No Internet and the only form of porn were paperback books so if one was clever enough to swipe their father’s stash (or their mom’s stash), the only visualization of the sexual acts you were reading was whatever your mind could conjure up; other than word of mouth, there wasn’t much in the way of helpful information other than knowing what guys liked to do it and what guys didn’t or were too afraid to give it a shot.

There was almost always – and usually – that one moment when one boy would look at another boy and ask, “Have you ever done it with another boy?”  If the answer was yes, the next question would usually be, “Do you wanna do it?” and if the answer was no, um, the same question would be asked – and the answer could still be no… but sometimes it could be, “I don’t know…”

One might not have had any specific preferences when it came to doing it outside of wanting to do it out of that combination of raging hormones and the thrill of doing something that we all knew we weren’t supposed to be doing.

Today, guys have the “advantage” of being able to determine and decide what things they’d want to do once they get past that “Oh, shit!” moment – and thanks to the wealth of information the Internet can make available as well as an understanding of what gay men do when they do it to each other –  and deciding that doing just might be a good idea… but what to do?

And a lot of guys ask this question, believe it or not; it’s one thing to know what two guys could do to, for, and with each other, something else to figure out which of those things will turn out to be just what the doctor ordered.  It’s one thing to know that guys suck each other’s dick, another to imagine one’s self doing it and the same goes for having anal sex and even jerking each other off.

Guys ask this question of me and I’ve answered their question with a question:  What would you want to do?  Some guys would ask this question and it’s a rhetorical one – they already know what they wanna do but the question is more of a… confirmation of sorts so a conversation about what can be done begins and at a basic level:  Mutual masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, all of the above, any combination of those things which could also include kissing and cuddling (or not).

Guys today are able to sort out their preferences before they ever do it for the first time; they’ve already decided that they’re going to be a top (the guy in the male-dominant sexual role) or a bottom (the guy in the female-submissive sexual role) and, yeah, sometimes, a guy will start out wanting to be in both roles and as he feels in the moment.

What gets… amusing is that some guys do, in fact, have an idea of what they want to experience… but will still ask what it’s like to do it, oh, like sucking dick, for example.  Now, you’d think this would be a no-brainer and more so for any guy who’d ever had his dick sucked by a woman and for some guys it is a no-brainer – just not for every guy.  Having your cock sucked is one thing… being the one doing the sucking a whole different thing and, of course, there’s the whole matter of what to do when the guy cums – swallow it, wear it, avoid it at all costs and by any means necessary.

Guys are well-versed about fucking coochie and you’d think that there wouldn’t be much of a disconnect about sticking their dick in a guy’s ass – and more so if they’d ever had anal sex with a women – but, again, there’s this perceived difference but the main thing about this is a sense of revulsion because, well, we know what that orifice’s main purpose is, don’t we?  On the receiving end of the high hard one, again, we see that knowing that guys get boned as being one thing… wholly different when you’re the one with the hankering to get boned because the other thing we know, even via word of mouth, is that, um, it can hurt going in.

True enough, some guys prepare themselves for this moment by using toys, from butt plugs to dildos to prostate stimulators and while this is all well and good, most guys find that while using toys can get them used to being penetrated, having the real thing in their butt is rather different; it’s one thing to do this to yourself, another when you’re not really in control of that moment and there’s a very horny guy on the other end of the dick that’s about to meet your acquaintance.

So we see that when it comes to deciding what to do, there are choices… but choices that aren’t always easy to make because along with all the things two guys can do, there’s also a laundry list of reasons why guys shouldn’t do any of them.  One major one is, “What if someone finds out I (add an M2M thing here)?”  Yes, there’s the whole “What if I catch something?” thing to consider but it’s nothing a case of condoms can’t take care of.

Guys find that it’s easy to sit back and think about all of this but to get to the point where one does those things they’ve been pondering just might provide some added “stress” to the list of things to stress about in this, up to and including wondering, even here in the 21st century, if doing whatever they’re thinking about is going to make them gay.

Yeah, guys back in the 1960s were worried about this, too, so that hasn’t changed a whole lot.  Sometimes I think that guys looking and/or waiting for their first experience tends to suffer from an informational overload – just too much information to process but it is important for a guy to process all of that information and to the best of their ability because one thing they may discover is that the best thing for them to do is…

Nothing.  Certainly, there are a lot of reasons for a guy not to give into the great urge to get out there and do something about what they’re thinking and feeling but it just doesn’t pay to dive in there without thinking things through and beginning with being able to imagine themselves all up into whatever they wanted to experience.

Which is a kind of lead-in to the next thing I’ll scribble about – and you’ll know it when you see it…

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Bottoms Up!

The thing that caught my eye on the forum today was a new comment to yet another old topic about giving or receiving and the original poster was asking about whether the fellas preferred to give head or receive it… and the conversation morphed into being a top or a bottom and the interest, fondness, or curiosity about getting boned in da butt.

Men… ya just gotta love how our minds work at times.

Someone pointed out that across a lot of threads, there seems to be a lot of bottoms on the forum, both experienced and those guys waiting for their moment to get the answer to the question, “What does it feel like to be fucked?”

Indeed, it seems to be a continuation of the thought that tops are a vanishing breed; I don’t think that’s really the case but perhaps more of a situation where there are a lot of guys who want to be the one on the bottom than at any other time – at least any other time that I can remember.  Then again, prior to the advent of the Internet, there weren’t many media tools available for guys to give voice to their preferences in this.

Must be some kind of karmic thing going on or something like that because my protege, Cityman, had said the same thing to me yesterday afternoon; while there are a lot of guys where he lives who wants to be the dude doing the poking, there are – to him – twice as many guys looking to be poked.

A bit of history from my perspective and observations:  Guys who preferred the bottom role (and before that connotation became a thing to be) were once thought of being less manly; they also tended to be guys who, if it weren’t for bad luck, they wouldn’t have any luck at all convincing a girl to have sex with them, either because of their looks, being quite, ah, chubby, or not having a print in their pants.  Some guys would be “bullied” into being a bottom, the thought here being that if you weren’t “man enough” to sling the dick, then the only value you had was to be the one taking it – then it was a toss-up for a guy to decide which thing would be the lesser of two evils:  Getting dicked in the ass or getting beaten up.

Or having the word get out that you got fucked by a guy… and that never happened.

Some guys suffered from their self-esteem damned near being on “E” and, as such, felt that if they were to have the sex they still needed – and just like all the other guys, perhaps letting another guy do it to them would be the thing to boost their self-esteem.  Peer pressure often played into this and a lot of guys succumbed or, really, submitted to the pressure being placed upon them because not many guys wanted the word to get out that they were a chicken and not have the intestinal fortitude to accept the challenge of a dare.   Yeah, some guys would get dared to give up their butt… and they’d prefer to bear up under the social slight of being a chicken rather than to experience what everyone seemed to know was a very painful thing to experience and, yeah, those who wouldn’t accept that particular dare would rather suck a dick than to, um, have a problem sitting down.

Not all guys who liked being on the bottom were coerced into being on the bottom; they tried and liked it and that was that; even among the horny group of dudes I hung out with, it was a matter of things being fair:  If you wanted to fuck a guy, you also had to be willing to be fucked.

Jump ahead many decades… and to a situation where instead of this being something dudes wanted to avoid whenever possible, it began to be a thing to do as well as a thing to be and the psychology of this is something I find utterly fascinating.  Where, once upon a time, a dude who got fucked was considered to be a bit girly if not outright gay, there are a great many guys who are very damned masculine when it comes to doing a lot of things in their lives but when they’re with another man, assuming the female/submissive role is just what works for them.

Why?  Well, as strange as it might sound, some guys really do get tired of being the dominant person in a sexual situation and always being the one to initiate sex and enduring the pressures involved in making sex good and satisfying and even more so for guys who found themselves with women who weren’t, let’s say, “sexually assertive” and the she’s the one to initiate sex and all that other good stuff.

So, for them, being a bottom for a guy is a kind of welcomed break; being the bottom guy and doing the cock sucking and getting boned goes a long way to restoring their sense of balance where their sense of self is concerned.  And, oh, yeah, lest I forget, for some guys, “being the girl” just flat out feels very damned good.

And, yes, I’ll once again point to porn, that medium that can make anal sex appear to be such a thing to experience, well, until a guy truly realizes that while porn makes taking a ten-inch dick in the ass look easy, eh, um, not really.  To this end, it often gives me a bad case of the giggles to see/hear a newbie who wants to experience being fucked state that the guy who gets to fuck him has to have a big dick and, in their mind, the bigger and fatter, the better; it makes me think, “Boy, are you gonna be in for one hell of a rude awakening!”

These days, some guys are looking to be pegged – they’d be in heaven if a woman would put on a strap-on and give them the business although, oddly, not all of the guys who’d want to be pegged are all that interested in having the real thing inside them and it’s my thought that if a woman does it, it’s not as “gay” as having a guy doing it – it’s probably the only thing that makes some kind of sense in this scenario.  Still, if a guy wants his lady to peg the living daylights out of him, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay or that he really does want the real thing in him – it’s about being submissive to her.

For the guys who can’t get pegged or find a guy they can trust to give them the high hard one, many “train” for the day that they do get dicked… and they have quite the assortment of toys and many designed specifically to wreak havoc on a man’s prostate, our version of the famous G-spot in women.  Guys are walking around doing their usual routine with butt plugs of varying sizes inserted into them and I’m sure it gives them a private thrill to think that they’re at work or whatever they’re doing… and no one knows that he has his butt plugged up and because it not only feels good but, again, trains his sphincter muscles for the day when another guy mounts them and slides it in but, sure, if that moment never arrives, that plug sure does feel pretty good just the same.

It’s not just what bottoms are purported to do that’s fascinating – it’s why they want to be a bottom in the first place and reading what the guys on the forum have to say about this is just as fascinating, from what concerns them about this to what thrills them about it – and that includes the guys who aren’t quite ready to take this particular plunge.

And, something I think is quite important, is that a guy doesn’t have to be gay to want to have his prostate tickled and stimulated.  Historically, um, guys are supposedly not fans of having their butt hole messed with, as evidenced by how many guys actually cringe about having a doctor perform a digital rectal exam (DRE), something that’s very damned necessary for the detection of prostate cancer and a known killer of men.  

You wanna see a really macho kind of guy react in a very un-macho way?  Tell him he needs to go get fingered by his doctor and watch the look on his face.  Oh, they’ll do it… they just ain’t gonna look forward to it and they’ll have to really man-up to face a moment that only takes a couple of seconds to complete.  So, because we know this, I’d suppose that it would make most people think and believe that if a guy wasn’t eager to get a finger up their butt to ensure their continued good health, why would they want something other than a finger in their butt?

For a lot of reasons and because, for them, it feels good both physically and for their sense of self.  And for those guys who’ve always wanted to know what it is that women feel and experience when they get screwed, well, there’s really only one way to get that answer, isn’t there?  Despite everything we’ve ever heard about anal sex, it’s just very interesting that there seems to be a lot of guys who want and need to experience this and for whatever reason they want to.  I’m not saying this is a good or bad thing – it’s just interesting and more so when there was a time – and not really all that long ago – that finding a guy who’d let you do it to him like this was damned near impossible.

And while we tend to think that this is something that only gay men do to each other, well, that’s not totally true either – some gay guys would prefer not to get poked in the butt, thank you very much.  Not because of all the known risks involved in this but because, um, it really does hurt going in – and who wants to be bothered with that?

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Well, Why Not?

A member of the bi guy forum asked a question along the lines of why do some bottoms refuse to top?  It’s a good question and off the top of one’s head, it can be said that they don’t want to top or, simpler, it’s their preference.  Some guys have been known to try topping and bottoming then decide which thing works better for them and if there’s no clear “winner,” well, let’s do both!  For some guys, it’s a “submissive” thing – but not, I think, in the BDSM sense this might appear to be.  Some guys get tired of always being the man in sex – the one initiating it, calling the shots and subject to performance pressures (you’d better be damned good every damned time or else!) and it just works for them that when they throw down with a guy, bleh, they don’t wanna be bothered with that and it’s just better that they’re the ones doing the pleasing, from giving head to getting creamed.

Now, it’s not that some bottoms won’t switch roles and top a guy – and I’d say it depends on the guy they’re with – but it also seems to me that once a guy decides that being a “total bottom” is what he wants and needs to do, changing his mind about it is just out of the question.  Some guys might start out being a top… right up until it’s time to stick it in and, oops – no more boner!  It’s also true that the moment some guys slip on a condom, bye-bye wood – see ya later!  I’d guess at this point the logic says if you can’t keep it up to get it in, be the one who’s getting it put into you.  By the way, I think I know why the first thing happens… I gots no clue why the second thing does, though.

It’s a preference, of course, and to fully understand what all of that entails, well, you’d have to ask a “dedicated” bottom; I’m thinking that if you asked ten bottoms about their preference, you’d get ten different answers – but answers that might also have some similarities.  Some guys feel that being all bottom, all of the time just fits their personality better… but the OP had also asked if the refusal to top could be because it’s gross and/or risky.  Well, um, sure one can easily say it’s gross given the primary purpose of that area, right?  And since we know this, we’re also aware of the risks, most of which can be set aside by using condoms so maybe – just maybe – some bottoms are of a mind that if they only bottom, they avoid these things but, um, sticking a dick in there can still be seen as gross and even with the use of condoms, there’s always the risk of rectal tearing and even friction burns due to inadequate lubrication and really big, fat dicks.

A couple of guys replied that it just gives them the greatest pleasure to give the other guy pleasure and I thought, “Well, what if the thing that would give the other guy a lot of pleasure is you giving him the high hard one?”  I’ll have to remember to return to the forum and ask this particular question.  One guy did say that he has a special guy who he’ll top but only if he’s on the bottom (and being ridden) – but position has nothing to do with this; it’s all about who’s taking the dick and who’s giving it and if you’re on the bottom and the other guy is going for a ride, dude, you’re topping.

Some members said that they like being “the girl” in this arrangement or, like one guy said in a similar topic, “Fuck me like the bitch I am!” Indeed, a lot of bottoms are more in touch with their feminine side and bottoming, for them, also include wearing the appropriate lingerie and other forms of cross-dressing.  Does this make them more gay than bi?  Um, no; it’s just that when it comes to M2M, they’d rather be the girl and some guys find the cross-dressing fetish rather satisfying and as a guy told me years ago, “Nothing makes me feel more manly than wearing a nice pair of lacy panties!”

Uh, okay…

In the whole top/bottom dynamic, the one thing I’ve seen a lot of here lately are guys picking a role and sticking to it without exception, like, it never occurs to them that they could change their mind under the right situation and, perhaps, it’s more like this is what you’ve chosen so you gotta stay with it.  I recall having this conversation with my protegé, who’s a top and insisted that he could never bottom.  I asked him what I thought was a good question:  Do you think that you could find that at some point, you’d actually want to be topped?  He said no… and some time later, wound up recanting because he got with a guy and he did, indeed, wanted to be topped (and had big fun, too).  I’ve heard that some guys – and for some reason – don’t believe they’d be good at topping a guy; certainly, this seems to be a confidence issue but I’m thinking there’s more to this because those same guys don’t seem to have any problem screwing women.  One guy told me that he didn’t think he’d be good at it and I had asked him if he ever tried it… and he said that he hadn’t; of course, my next question was, “Uh, if you’ve never tried it, how do you know you wouldn’t be good at it?” So maybe being just a bottom “saves” them from being told by the other guy that he can’t fuck worth a damn?  I really don’t know.

Ya might be asking why any of this matters… and it does when we – society – are trying to figure this whole bisexual thing out and more so when it’s not so much what we do as it is why we do it.  Like, I know that there was a time that if you were, um, a really chubby kind of guy, you automatically got relegated to the bottom role; likewise – and this might sound crazy – if you were the guy with the smaller dick, you got to be the girl.  If you appeared to lack masculinity in any way, yup, you’re on the bottom, dude – now, bend over and spread them cheeks!  Today, this no longer seems to be the case or maybe even not so much because bottoms come in all shapes and sizes and, uh, some bottoms have bigger dicks than the guy topping them.  End of the day, it’s all about what floats your boat but I do think that it’s good that guys like the OP asks questions like this even though there’s no definitive answer.  Indeed, it’s why a lot of newbies ask about topping/bottoming, sucking cock, being sucked, swallowing, etc., because a guy can’t make a decision without having some information… but as in all things, there’s no greater teacher than experience.  Some guys come out of the gate thinking and believing that being a bottom is what they’re meant to be… until they get that first dick in their booty or run into that guy who doesn’t give a fuck that it’s their first time and their backside gets a serious beat down that, at least in my opinion, no first-timer should ever be subjected to.

I’ll probably revisit this somewhere down the road but for now, this is my take on the topic…

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Being on the Bottom

Sodomy, buggering, fudge packing, and cornholing are just a few words for something that can be very scary or a joy to end all joys.  Of course I’m talking about anal sex and if any of these words are sending a shiver up and down your spine and you’re getting that look on your face, you’re at least familiar with the scary aspects.  This isn’t a scribble about health issues and it’s not so much a “how-to” scribble but as I scanned the available topics on the bi guy forum and peeped a few updated topics, I was reminded of how many guys on this site are either devoted bottoms or they aspire to be a bottom if/when they ever get off the bench and into the game.

It’s not so much that guys screw each other in the butt – yeah, like no one knows that this happens – but one of the M2M sexual roles that some guys just live for while others would rather not experience.  One reason why they’d take a zero on being buggered is that it’s no secret that, um, it hurts going in and I’m sure there aren’t many of you reading this who haven’t heard volumes of horror stories about just how much it does hurt.  Some guys write that they’d like to be screwed but, damn, that whole pain thing – and even if they’ve never experienced it – can make a guy think twice about actualizing something they may see when watching porn.  Guys will ask at times what one can do to make this less painful and the answer is usually, “Not a whole lot – ya just learn how to deal with it.”  At one point, there was a lubricant that had a topical anesthetic mixed in that served a dual purpose – on the one hand, it desensitized a guy’s boner enough to extend his ability to lay the pipe while, on the other, numbing the recipient’s hole enough to take the edge off the pain of entry.

These days a lot of guys are sniffing poppers – amyl, butyl, isobutyl, isopropyl or pentyl nitrite – that serve two purposes when cock meets butt.  For one, these chemicals can produce feelings of euphoria and the other effect is that they cause relaxation in certain muscles, like the anal sphincter and it’s that relaxation that makes it possible for a guy to get speared in the butt and, along with the euphoria, perhaps not even really notice the other guy’s entry.  Some say poppers enhance this sexual experience while some find that sniffing one of these nitrites isn’t as much fun as some say it is.

Given this and a few other things, one might wonder why a guy would want to get corn-holed in the first place.  Some are just curious about what it feels like to be fucked and I don’t know too many guys who hasn’t asked a woman that at least once in their life.  Some guys are very much aware of their sexuality and now it’s a matter of deciding which sexual role best fits what’s going on inside their head.  One of the changes I’ve seen over the years is that there are a lot of guys who are bottoms and more than I can recall in my time.  There have always been guys willing to be screwed and inseminated and, no, not all of them have been feminine homosexual men; when I see a group of men complaining that they are having a hard time (no pun) finding guys to top them, I’m thinking that the ratio of tops to bottoms has seriously changed because in the past, there always seemed to be more guys wanting to do the poking than there were guys who wanted to be poked.

The number two most asked question on the bi guy forum is, “What does it feel like to be screwed?”  You see, we can watch porn – and, yes, even straight porn – and see anal sex being done but what one can’t “see” is what it feels like because, you know, anyone you see getting boned in the butt may or may not be displaying what they’re really feeling because, um, they’re actors.  Guys have written that they’ve watched gay porn and get really turned on to watch a guy getting the high hard one and it sounds like just what the doctor ordered for the way they’re looking at their sexuality.  Y’all know me – I’m the guy who’ll tell them that getting a ten-inch erection shoved into your butt isn’t as easy as porn makes it look but, hey, if you think that it is that easy, go for it… then come back and share your reality with us.

Does it feel good to be screwed?  Well, um, yeah, it does once you’ve managed to condition your mind and body for it.  On the other side of this coin, uh, does it hurt going in?  Yep, it sure does and, yep, the pain and discomfort does go away at some point but a lot of guys find that being on the bottom isn’t quite the fun thing they thought it to be because they find that they’re paying a whole lot of attention to the moment of entry than anything else so, sure, when your brain is trying to deal with this invasion, it’s not so simple to focus on what feels good about it.  Some guys employ dildos and other toys to not only condition themselves to being entered and for some, that works… but it’s not really the same as having a living, breathing, and horny dude working to get into your butt; if you’re buggering yourself with a toy, ya might be tempted to take it easier than some dude who’s caught up in his lust and the single-minded purpose of busting a nut in your backside.

Why do some guys prefer to be on the bottom?  There are a lot of reasons and, oddly enough, one of the reasons is that they really enjoy that “girly” feeling of being screwed.  Now, of course, I’m not even trying to offend any women reading this but even I know that being screwed makes a guy feel this way because, of course, we’re taught that being screwed is something only women should be subjected to so when you find yourself doing something that only women are supposed to do, you really get to understand a few things, like, why women like being screwed and the things they have to endure when being screwed.  Some guys revel in these things while others have a difficult time reconciling that girly feeling.  Cityman is one of those guys who has an issue with that feeling and he’s asked me how one avoids this rather unsettling feeling… and the answer is that you don’t and can’t avoid it – you just learn to take what feels like a negative emotion and turn it around so that you can find the pleasure in it.  It’s not easy to do and, um, er, there have been times when I’ve been on the bottom and my mind is screaming at me, “Hey!  He’s screwing you like you’re a girl!”  It can be an ugly feeling and one that clashes with one’s sense of masculinity so, at least on paper, it’s about not listening to this part of you and focusing on being screwed and finding the pleasure in it – and it can be done.

I recall a guy on the forum writing some time ago, “Fuck me like the bitch I am!” (or something like that) and what kinda surprised me wasn’t that this guy said this; it was how many guys agreed with what was said and there were a lot of guys who echoed that sentiment.  It said to me that getting fucked wasn’t just about the physical aspects or the rush of taking a very old taboo and smashing it into dust; there’s an emotional aspect to this as well.  No, it’s not emotional as in you’re gonna fall in love with the guy creaming your hole; for some guys, being on the bottom means they’re not the ones initiating sex, not the one tasked with performance excellence.  They’ve learned and/or have found that being the one subjected to being fucked just makes them feel… more complete, more whole as a person – it’s not easy to explain.

The men I call dedicated bottoms accept the feminine role in sex; they’re the ones who love to suck cock and if they don’t get sucked in return, eh, it’s no big deal and some just don’t want to be bothered with being sucked.  Cock sucking aside, these guys live to be on their knees, on their side, on top, and/or on their backs and having their forbidden zone filled with hard cock and exulting in the moment when they feel the other guy ejaculating – whether in a condom or without one.  Cityman asked me what it is about that moment that makes everything you experienced prior to that worth the aggravation… and I admit to being at a loss for words to really explain it even though I know what it feels like.  As an analogy of sorts, I asked him if he’s ever noticed that when he’s had sex with women, at the moment he cums inside them, their whole demeanor kinda changes.   Yeah, sometimes it can be that they’re relieved that homey is finally done but there’s something about feeling a dick going through the motions of ejaculation that seems to hit the lizard parts of our brains in the right place and in the right way.

There is a reason why some women get pretty pissed off if you don’t cum and there are a lot of guys who get equally unhappy if he doesn’t cum.  In true, porn money-shot fashion, some guys are thrilled getting reamed out, home boy withdraws, and sprays a load of seed all over him and some guys are of the mind that if you don’t unload in their butt, that’s a problem that will be addressed momentarily.  That moment just hits the right spots in our pleasure centers and in ways that if one tried to put it into words, what usually comes out is, “It feels good…”

Now, the role of being a bottom and how I’ve seen it played out.  In my own experiences, there was a “fairness” at play; if you were “man” enough to dish it out, you had to be “man” enough to take it, too, and if, by chance, you weren’t that fond of being fucked, well, deal with it because no other way was really acceptable and many guys would get their hole stretched and creamed because, well, it was their turn to be on the receiving end.  Time moves on and I saw a kind of “dominance” at play; the guys who were deemed “inferior” were relegated to the feminine role – the guys who were overweight, not exactly the outgoing type, and the guy with the smaller cock was included in this group.  And keep in mind that I’m not talking about or including feminine gay men in this.  It was kinda like the imposition of one’s will and the guy who “lost” this battle would be the one on the bottom.  Time zips ahead and the guys who would top and bottom – the versatile guys – were kinda reemerging but “fairness” had nothing to do with it – these guys were just comfortable and happy in either role and they represented the more flexible aspects of M2M.  There still seemed to be more tops than any other kind of guy but then, things changed once again.

Where, let’s say, the guy with the bigger dick would be the top and the guy with the smaller one would be the bottom, well, that seemed to switch up; a guy could have meat literally hanging down to his knees and you’d think he’s be the top and you’d be wrong about that.  The “thug mentality” came along and, at least in my mind, made a big change in the top/bottom dynamic and stated that you could be on the receiving end of a hard cock and not be seen as “the girl” in the act; indeed, “flip-flopping” seemed to be revived because if you were man enough to fuck a guy in the ass, you were also man enough to bend over and spread your cheeks as well.  While M2M is kinda looked at in terms more relevant to BDSM – dominant and submissive – there seems to be an emergence of guys who, when it comes to playing with dick, wants to be submissive.  Being a bottom today means you do all of the cock sucking and getting your hole creamed is not only a given but is very much an expectation and being used like the bitch the guy wants to be doesn’t seem to be a badge of dishonor like it was in the past.

To be fucked no longer means that you’re less of a man any more than sucking cock is a sign of a lack of masculinity; indeed, and as I’ve written before, the school of thought seems to be that if you’re not down with this, your masculinity could be called into question.  I will point out, however, that the guys who say this the most are also the guys who, um, wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end themselves.  Despite the inherent risks of this kind of sex, it seems to me that a lot more men are more than willing to be subjected to having their backside blissfully pounded and, oh, yeah, the bigger and fatter the dick in them, the better the experience.  It makes me blink a few times to see guys on the forum writing and essentially saying that if the guy doesn’t have a big, fat dick, it’s a deal breaker for them.

Finally (and y’all are probably breathing a sigh of relief that I’m almost done with this), some guys wind up gravitating to the bottom role because things like erectile dysfunction (ED) has robbed them of their ability to lay pipe.  It reminds me of the man I talked with years ago who, at the time, was in his mid-sixties.  He’d shared with me that he was bisexual all of his life and enjoyed sucking cock as well as being on top or on the bottom.  But time and age caught up with him; ED landed on him hard and prostate cancer came along and called for the removal of his prostate and whatever ability he had to ejaculate right along with it.  He told me that while this was a pretty miserable series of events for him, he still loved dick enough to be a “full-time” bottom.  He said, “I can’t get hard like I used to and while I can experience an orgasm, I can’t bust a nut anymore… so it seems to me that the right thing for me to do going forward is to suck dick and let guys fill my ass with dick and cum…”

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “What’s It Like?”

During yesterday’s visit to the bi guy forum, there was another instance of the topic that pops up a lot:  What is it like to (add an M2M thing here)?  When this topic comes up, it’s usually asking about sucking cock and swallowing or getting screwed by a guy and, this time, what it feels like to have him cum inside you and, specifically, if it was different from screwing a woman in the butt.  One of the first things I noticed as I perused the comments is that none of the respondents said a word about how unsafe doing it in the raw can be because it’s something that gets talked about a lot that mentioning it again is a buzz kill for such a topic – and that’s fine because if you take a question like this and your answer is along the lines of, “You should never do it without a condom!” you’re not answering the question and it’s one that a guy who hasn’t experienced sex with a man needs to have answered.

Because when you leave a guy to his own devices – he’s gotta figure this out for himself because no one is willing or able to answer his questions – he’s liable to incur even more risk since in my opinion, there’s nothing riskier than making an uninformed decision or making one based on faulty information.  I know a lot of guys will peek at gay porn – it provides great visuals – but overall isn’t very informative; you can see cocks being sucked, asses getting fucked, sperm flying around all over the place but none of that really tells you what it’s like to actually experience it.

One of the things that stood out to me in some of the comments was how some guys said that it’s different with a woman versus a man, spurring other thoughts about women being softer to the touch, men being more, uh, not soft to the touch and even being a bottom makes the experience different… none of which I felt answered the OP’s questions.  True enough:  You can ask someone what it’s like and what they’ll tell you will differ from guy to guy – but it can be either good or not-so-good information because there’s a lot of bias going on, like, guys who have been boned and creamed may not have liked the experience all that much and will tend to provide negative comments or, really, comments that may not be all that helpful.  You get a lot of input with both positives and negatives and, sure, this is some good information but if you really want to know what it feels like and if there’s really any difference in play between men and women where anal sex is concerned, no amount of information you can be told can replace girding your loins and finding out first hand.

Some guys actually did try to put what it’s like into words.  That initial pain of entry was mentioned as was how it can eventually fade away and that this is something one just has to get used to – which is true.  One guy said that if a guy were to cum in you, you’d not feel it because the rectum doesn’t have any nerve endings – and he was wrong about that because it does – not gonna get into all of that right now – but what is true is that you may or may not actually feel that nut hitting your insides and more so since there’s a lot more, um, intense sensations/stimulation that’ll override things, like feeling the dick going through its pumping action so even if you’re unable to feel the sperm flowing into you, you can bet whatever you care to that you’re not gonna mistake that pumping action for anything other than what it’s known for, even if the guy is wearing a condom.

The thing I felt the respondents missed was something kinda obvious:  While there are obvious difference in play re men and women and other stuff they felt was important, what they overlooked was the act itself – putting A into C and, as such, there’s no difference in play.  Like cock sucking, guys tend to focus on the differences between women doing it and men doing it… but not the act itself.  Things like technique and desire differ between men and women and can even differ with the same person and dependent upon their mood… but the act of sucking a dick isn’t different any more than the act of sliding a lubed-up dick into someone’s butt is different or, as I commented, “Sucking is sucking, fucking is fucking…”  The acts are the same no matter who’s doing it and the key word is “act,” not “who.”

Talking about any perceived differences, however, doesn’t really answer the question and to be honest, as proficient as I can be with words, even I can’t tell you exactly and precisely what it feels like.  It’s not like I don’t know because I do but there’s a lot of shit happening in that space between one’s ears that, for one, there are no words for and, for the other, is so complex that another part of your brain gathers it all together and simplifies it:  It either feels really good or it doesn’t… or, oddly, it feels good and bad at the same time.  Yeah, try explaining that one to someone!  Still, it’s kinda hard to be objective given the complexity of it all – you’re either gonna like getting boned in the butt or it’ll be the worst thing you’ve ever experienced so being subjective about it seems sensible… except the experience can be different every time and is based on a plethora of conditional things along the lines of what, where, why, when, who, and how and keeping in mind that even when you do this with the same person, no two experiences are gonna be exactly the same – it just doesn’t work like that even though when we have sex, we want to be consistent.  Even the moment of penetration isn’t as consistent as it appears to be but, uh, you’d have to be of a mind to really give a lot of thought to this and that’s hard to do when, um, there’s a hard, slick cock being pushed into your butt and working toward the expected explosion.

While guys with experience in this can share those experiences, there’s still only one way to find out what it’s gonna be like for you.  It can be a mind-blowing experience, a very uncomfortable one that will distract from experiencing any real pleasure or it can even leave a guy wondering why this is such a big deal to begin with – and that’s just the first time they experience it.  Often enough, that initial experience can be so… traumatic that a guy would rather cut off a foot than to experience it again; it can make them believe – and incorrectly so – that if it was bad that first time, it will always be bad.  Porn, once again, makes it look easy; it also makes it look like the greatest sexual thing two guys can do with and to each other… the reality usually says otherwise.  So what does it feel like to get boned and creamed?  Here goes…

It’s intense; the moment of entry can be anywhere from uncomfortable to painful depending on several factors like the size and shape of the cock going in, the amount of lubrication – and type of lubrication used, whether or not the cock is encased in a condom or not, the level of relaxation the receiver can bring to bear; the position in which one is being penetrated, the speed of penetration.  How long does it take for it to stop being uncomfortable/painful?  No set time in this and it really depends on the aforementioned conditions and one’s own ability to dismiss pain.  When does it start to feel good?  Um, that depends on how long it takes to get past being penetrated right along with how the guy inside you is actually fucking you, like, is he taking it easy or is he trying to pound you right through the bed and like he’s in a pussy… and what you think “feeling good” is gonna mean, which is hard to nail down because if this is your first time, all you might have to go on is how you think it should feel to you – and you could be surprised and not in a good way.  Feeling good being fucked is about getting past the physical part and depends on what’s going on in your head so it could feel good seconds after being penetrated or minutes… or not at all… and all of the above.

I did tell you there’s no easy way to describe this, didn’t I?

How does it feel when a guy cums in you?  Oh boy… really not easy to describe.  If your mind isn’t still paying attention to any discomfort you might feel, there’s that moment when he’s about to cum – ya might feel his cock getting ready to deliver the load, might feel his cock getting bigger and harder and if you’re paying attention, you just might even feel that first explosion of cum shooting into you, followed by that furious pumping action that can feel very weird and good at the same time and sometimes that depends on whether or not the guy stops fucking as he unloads or he keeps right on stroking in there – again, too many variables at play to provide a definitive answer and a lot of this also depends on how you’re feeling at the moment he cums in you (or into the condom).  You can feel good and “girly” – and that can be a good or bad thing – or you’re just really happy that it’s all over with depending on how the other guy screwed you so, at this point, you might not be thinking about how good getting creamed may have felt – you just want him to finish and get out of there… or you could be kinda pissed off that he’s finished.  At this point, whether it all really felt good or not depends on how your brain will eventually get around to processing everything that happened once he pulls out.  First timers, well, sorry guys, but there’s no way I could tell you how you’re gonna feel or how you should feel – it’s still something you have to determine for yourself but you’re either gonna say it felt good… or it didn’t.

What I can tell you is that once you’ve been screwed and creamed, if you don’t learn anything else, you’ll learn some of the same things that women have learned and the only “absolutes” here is that it’s either gonna be the greatest thing since sliced bread… or you’re gonna wish that you hadn’t done it.  Some guys have that first experience and the next question (or questions) they ask can be, “Why didn’t it feel as good as I thought it would?” or “When does it start feeling good?”  All I can say to this is that what you expect it to feel like may not match what you felt and it’ll maybe start feeling good when you manage to condition yourself to focus on the pleasure and not paying a lot of attention on how painful and/or uncomfortable it felt.  Such things take x-amount of time and a few adjustments in your thinking, one of which – and in my opinion – is making it a point to enjoy being screwed and not depend so much on the guy screwing you making it good for you, if that makes sense.  If you can’t condition yourself to enjoy the act of being screwed and potentially creamed, you’re not gonna enjoy it no matter what the other guy does – you have to want to enjoy it.

And in order to find out if you will or not, you really and seriously have to do it and, ideally, more than once if you can manage it; just because it wasn’t good the first time doesn’t mean that it’ll be bad the next time… or it might be.