Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 29 December 22

“John” was one of those guys who was smart, fun to be around and because of his weight, a guy that women didn’t want to have anything to do with. He had gotten my attention one day while I was having lunch at McDonald’s and overheard some women talking about him and in some very unkind terms. The place was crowded and seats were limited and he was just standing there turning in circles looking for a place to sit and this – and on top of what those women were saying about him – got me to invite him to sit in the booth with me.

That chance encounter allowed us to become friends, which made me privy to his lack of a sex life and often bemoaning the metabolic disorder he was born with that had him – in his own words – “fat and chunky” all of his life and nothing he did would get him to drop no more than a few pounds. One day, when I’d met him for lunch, he said, “Women dislike me so much that whores would pay me not to have sex with them!” He had laughed but I didn’t find his self-depreciation funny but, yeah, I could easily see why he wasn’t getting laid and I felt so badly for him.

That same day, he had asked that if I couldn’t have sex with women, would I consider sex with men and… I didn’t exactly lie to him, but I told him that, sure, I’d consider it with the right guy and someone who was as friendly, smart, etc., as he was. I suspected that he had asked the question for a reason, and I didn’t have to wait long to find out what that reason was because his next question was, “Would you be offended if I said that I wanted to have sex with you?”

And I truthfully said that I wouldn’t be offended which led to me telling him that having sex with guys was something I was very much used to. I felt okay with outing myself to him and I had, in that moment, decided that if he “officially” asked if we could have sex, I was going to say yes. I had a moment to wonder if my answer meant that I’d have “mercy sex” with him and, in part, it was true but I really did like him so if I was really a good friend to him, sure – I’d sleep with him because what are friends for?

He did officially ask and I officially accepted his offer but he felt it necessary to let me know how small his dick was and pointed to it being another reason why he couldn’t get women to sleep with him – and was rarely able to find a guy to sleep with. We both had to get back to work but I promised to call him later so we could finish our conversation and I kept that promise, calling him after work and we were on the phone for hours as we talked about how we got into having sex with guys. I understood what was up with his story; he was the fat kid that could easily be talked into having sex by other guys – and because girls were turning their noses up at him. He felt that it was… better than nothing but he was telling me how the guys he grew up around were using and humiliating him at every turn and saying that he wasn’t man enough to do what real men could do so he wound up being the go-to cocksucker and the guy who would take it in the ass without question.

His story pissed me off because no one should be treated like that, but his story also resonated with me because I knew some guys like him that guys desperate to get off would seek them out and just use them with any care or consideration whatsoever. After our “story-telling moment,” we made plans to meet at his place on Saturday and I let him know that I was very much looking forward to the two of us having sex… and I meant every word of it. I’d let my wife know what was up and told her a little of John’s story and she said that I should have sex with him to let him know that he’s more than just some guy’s plaything and that I should let her know how things went (and as per our agreement).

Saturday comes and finds me ringing his doorbell; I was nervous and not really and I was laughing quietly to myself before he answered the door and invited me in. He offered me coffee, which I accepted and we sat and talked about “a lot of nothing” before we got to that moment known as the pregnant pause and it is so awkward! He broke the pause by saying, “Look, if you don’t want to do this, I’ll understand…” and… I wanted to slap him silly but resisted the urge and said, “You bet your ass we’re going to do this so if you’re ready, I am ready.”

We had agreed to suck each other off and as a way to, as he put it, make our sexual acquaintance and I had said that this was fine because I loved to suck dick. There was nothing left but to get things started; he led me to his bedroom and he was hesitant about getting undressed in front of me so I took that bit of “fear” from him by first getting out of my clothes then going right to him and stripping him down bare and, yes, I noticed two things about his dick. The first was that he was very much erect and if I had to guess, no more than five inches. The second thing I noticed that he was right on the money about how he had described his dick: It looked like a golf ball on top of a thin stick. The head of his dick was, even to me, freakishly big but in the classic “Darth Vader helmet” way and I knew that sucking him was going to be… interesting.

He had started to say something I knew was going to be self-deprecating and I wasn’t having any of that; I kinda gently pushed him onto the bed and went right down on him and his knob filled my mouth but I wasn’t about to let the size of it deter me and I spent some time licking and sucking it and decided to take him deep… and had a moment of panic when I felt his knob get “stuck” in the back of my throat but I fought off the feeling and relaxed and the last inch of him vanished into my mouth... and I got to work on him and, I would think later, in a way he didn’t expect. I didn’t think he was going to last very long since he had told me that he hadn’t had sex in almost a year and even though I was kinda/sorta taking my time, once he started fucking into my mouth, yeah, he wasn’t going to last and I really didn’t want him to.

I almost panicked again when he came. You wanna talk about him saving it up for a long time? Double that and you might be able to imagine and understand how and why I had… a problem swallowing his cum. There was a hell of a lot of it and I was determined to not let a single drop of it get away from me but I was starting to wonder if he was going to stop any time this century. As he came, he tried to get away from me and, oh, hell, no! I held onto him all through his great release until I felt him start to soften and didn’t let him out of my mouth until he was totally soft. I sat up and stretched the kinks out and when I turned to ask him if he was okay, he surprised me by grabbing my face and planting a kiss on my lips and, oh, my God.

His lips were soft; his tongue felt amazing in my mouth and was just as “soft” and just like the lips and tongues of a lot of women I’d kissed. I’m… not a fan of kissing guys because, as a lot of women say, guys are lousy kissers but not John. I fell into the kiss and let him take my breath away for what seemed to be a very long time before the kiss broke and he said – with tear in his eyes – “Thank you; it’s been a long time since someone wanted to give me head and, man, you are seriously good at it!”

I… didn’t have anything to say other than, “You’re welcome.” Even if I did have something more to say, I didn’t get a chance to because he put a hand on my chest and gently shoved me onto my back and I “panicked” because if his lips and tongue felt that damned amazing when he kissed me, it was going to be hellified to feel him sucking me. He kissed me again; started working on my neck and it was driving me insane with lust. He sucked my nipples and so soft and gentle that he almost made me cum just by doing that and the only reason why I didn’t was because I told him to let me up for a moment so I could get more comfortable. Once I settled back in, John got to working on my dick and… Jesus keep me near the cross. To say he was masterful was an understatement; if I had any doubt that he wasn’t telling me the truth about being a cocksucker, those doubts would have gone right out the window.

And getting away from him wasn’t going to be an option as he draped himself over me to ensure that I wasn’t going anywhere… not that I wanted to. He had me howling like a crazed maniac; he’d gotten his hands under my ass and alternated between sucking me and shoving me into his mouth. I think I remember yelling out that I was going to cum and maybe that was why he trebled his efforts on me until… the next thing I knew, he was sitting beside me and asking me if I was okay.

I wasn’t sure that I was. I couldn’t remember anything after feeling that rush of my dick swelling in his mouth but I had assumed that he’d made me cum really hard because my asshole was hurting in that familiar way whenever I came hard. I let him know that I thought I was okay and when I was able to fully focus my eyes, I found myself looking at… a different John. He was smiling and I could feel how… light and bubbly he was. He said that if I could walk – and I wasn’t sure that I could – to come with him so we could get something to eat and drink. He hopped off the bed and in a way that belied his weight and I… eased myself off the bed and tried to remember how to walk on the fly.

After making some sandwiches and pulling out a couple of ice-cold Cokes – a “vice” we both shared – he was, to me, a very different person. He was… giddy. Like he’d had a tremendous weight lifted from him. He complimented me again on my cocksucking skills and I didn’t know what to say about his other than not being able to remember if or when a guy had ever sucked me so… forcefully gentle before. I… could see why the guys he grew up with tracked him down and got him to blow them and I felt that he was way better at it than I was, and I let him know this. He blushed and it didn’t escape my notice that he did not say anything that was self-deprecating.

“I’m looking forward to you fucking me,” he said.

I blinked. In retrospect, I should have anticipated this but I didn’t. I recovered enough to say that if that’s what he wanted me to do, sure, I wouldn’t object and, also in retrospect, made the “mistake” of telling him that when he was ready, I’d fuck him… and I’ll ask you to imagine the look on my face when he said, “Great! Let’s go!”

Huh? Yeah, I realized my “mistake” as he took me by the hand and led me back to the bedroom and it wasn’t that I was opposed to fucking him – I wasn’t even thinking about it other than we could fuck “down the road.” Back on the bed, he went down on me with those soft-assed lips and I rose to the occasion quickly. He stopped and grabbed a bottle of lube from under a pillow – and I thought that he had planned for this or, maybe, it was there just in case. I didn’t know which; I watched him slather my dick with the lube then reach behind him to lube his hole and I’m now waiting for him to “assume a position” and I know my eyes got really big when he straddled him, positioned me against his hole and… sat right down on my dick.

Even though he outweighed me by a good fifty pounds or more, I was beyond impressed at the way he rode me and like he weighed less than I did. I could, again, see why those dudes made it a habit to run him down for sex and what he had experienced with those guys showed in the way he… fucked my brains out. Shit… I hadn’t had women ride me with the skill and dexterity he showed! He… killed the shit out of me when he leaned over and kissed me deeply… and I came. Hard. Made my asshole hurt like I had a big fat dick in there. Holy-fucking-shit. I’m cumming, he’s flexing his muscles and whispering to me to give it all to him and some other things I couldn’t remember.

I wanted his dick in me. Didn’t even care that his really big cock knob was going to spread me open wide enough to park a bus in there. I let him know what I wanted and he asked, “Are you serious?”

“You’re damned right I’m serious – it is a problem?” I asked.

“I’ve… I’ve never had a guy ask me to fuck him,” he said and now he’s back to being unsure of himself.

“Move,” I said, taking charge of the situation. He moved and I pushed him onto his back and went down on him to get him good and hard and as I did so, something in my head asked, “Have you lost your mind? I chose not to respond to that and I hurried up and lubed both of us up and straddled him; I got him in position and said to myself, “This is going to hurt…” and sat straight down on him. Bright lights exploded in my head and the pain was incredible but I didn’t stop until I had all of him in me – but it took me a moment to get adusted and to catch my breath.

John was about to say something but I cut him off by saying, “Don’t. Don’t even.” And I rode him; his knob was so huge in me that it was all I could feel as I ground myself on him and, Christ, what was I thinking by wanting him in me? Still, I fought through any discomfort I was feeling until it was feeling really good having him in me. We’re both grunting and groaning and cursing and echoing each other’s sentiment that this was feeling really good and that was the moment when I said, “Cum. Cum in me. Cum in me now!”

And he did. Like holy shit did he. If I had thought that I had taken all of that cum he had saved up when I sucked him, I was mistaken – he had a whole lot more left. I could feel the first three spurts – and that was saying something because I didn’t always feel a guy cum in those first moments but I sure as hell could feel all that cum blasting into me and… already starting to leak out of me. Holy shit. We’re both gasping for breathe as the sensations of his cock pumping started to diminish and he grew soft enough that my ass just evicted him easily… and I grimaced for a second upon hearing that rather obscene popping sound as his dick left my body.

I rolled off of him and I could swear that I could feel a breeze in my hole; yeah, he had really gapped me wide open and it was such a weird but good feeling. I looked at him to say something and saw that he was… asleep. Well, how about that? I debated on whether or not to wake him but decided not to; I got up and went to the bathroom to wash my face, dick and ass, found a pen and paper and wrote him a note to first thank him for an amazing time and that he should call me after reading the note. I got dressed and… had an interesting time sitting down when I got into my car and headed home.

But he never called. I had tried to reach him for a whole two weeks and eventually called his job, which is when I learned that he had resigned. I went by his house and when I peeked in a window, I saw that the place was empty. What the hell? I was seriously worried and that was putting it mildly and had continued to worry until I got a letter from him postmarked from Montreal, Canada. His letter was both “heartbreaking” and uplifting as he wrote about how he felt about us making love and how much it meant to him to have sex with a guy who actually gave a damn about him as a human being. He apologized for disappearing as he did but assured me that he had been planning on this move and because of a job he had applied for. He told me that he had gotten the call from the company – and the phone ringing was what had awakened him – and he’d gotten the good news and started planning his move right then and there. He admitted to seeing my note but had told himself that he’d call me later, but.

I understood. I was happy for him. I felt… some kind of way to read him saying that having sex with me that day changed his life, and he could never thank me enough for showing him that he was worth having sex with. I heard from him one last time and in a letter that said he had met the woman of his dreams and they were getting married, and he once again thanked me for showing him that he was more than just a sexual plaything for men.

I felt good to know this; it’s always good to be able to make a difference in someone’s life. Yeah, I felt some kind of way about the way he left but he had to do what he had to do and vowed to myself to never forget him or our time together and if you’re reading this, nope – I didn’t forget. What an amazing guy and one who was a lot more amazing to have sex with than he originally gave himself credit for. I remember thinking that his wife-to-be was one lucky lady and that all the women who rejected him – and all the men who just used him for a cum dump – had made a mistake and one that had turned out to be a gain for me.

I remember us talking about being bisexual and how he “envied” how comfortable I was with it. One of the other things that made me decide to sleep with him was having the sense that us having sex just might do him some justice as far as being confident and all those other things that are important and works towards a greater sense of worth. We weren’t friends for a really long time, but it made me feel good to know that I made a difference in his life. He proved to me… more of a man than a lot of guys I’d known and slept with and I’m never going to forget how he felt inside of me and, whew, that ginormous cock knob is forever burned into my body’s memories…

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 29 November 22

If the thought of sucking a guy’s dick – or a guy sucking yours – was scary, that fear didn’t compare to the thought of someone sticking their dick… in your ass.

Ew, right? Yet, I found it to be quite pleasurable even though, yeah, sometimes, it would hurt going in and no matter how much Vaseline we’d use and I racked my brain for a few moments trying to remember how we figured out that this venerable petroleum product would make sticking it in easier… and I’m drawing a blank so this revelation gets returned to the “I Don’t Remember” file. We also discovered that Royal Crown, a pomade we’d get slathered onto our hair every damned morning – and just before having Vaseline slathered all over our face – would also get the job done as did baby oil and lotions.

I’d get older and think about how eager a lot of us were to get screwed and wondered why it seemed to be so important and I would read a lot about the history of homosexual sex and how some cultures used this kind of sex to prepare soon-to-be-men for giving women the high hard one. I remember reading about this and laughing over the fact that there was a really good chance that we were happily – or sometimes unhappily – screwing each other so that (1) we’d know how to screw a girl and, possibly (2) knowing what it felt like so that we’d have an idea of what it felt like to a girl and… not sure how that information would be useful but I found this thought to be relevant because there is such a thing as doing it too hard and too long and that made getting screwed uncomfortable after x-amount of time and I don’t know about the other guys all that much but it would eventually get on my nerves and make me ask the same question I’d sometimes hear girls ask me:

“Are you done yet? Jeez!”

Not all of the guys tried this and not all of the guy who did found it to their liking and if they did it, it was “under protest” but also in “compliance” of the rule that said if you screwed a guy, he’d get to screw you, too. Quite a few guys – and myself included – found getting screwed to be delightful, “nasty” and, well, it felt good and when none of us were shooting the baby-making stuff. Grease it up, stick it in, and just fuck and keep going until you got tired and while experiencing that “good feeling” at times that I know made me feel… tingly. You’d feel this moment, either sigh or, as some guys did, giggle, and… right back to doing it and I spent a lot of time with a guy on top of me and enjoying the weird but good feeling of his dick sliding in and out of me until he got tired, pulled out, and said, “Okay – my turn!”

It felt even better to get creamed. Once you got past the scare of doing it for the first time, yeah, it wasn’t that bad to shoot the stuff, it felt good to do it and it felt… nicely weird to feel a guy’s dick twitching and all that and his stuff is going in you and he’s moaning and all that and… he’d take a deep breath and because his dick was still hard, keep right on going or if he got soft – a rarity at this point – then it was his turn to get slathered up with something – and that included a lot of saliva if the, ah, other products weren’t available – and spend some time getting screwed and creamed.

Some years later, I would read or hear something about anal sex that said, “If something big can come out of there, something big can go in there…” and, yeah, that was right on the money and I learned that the bigger the dick, the more it would hurt going in but, yeah, it would go in just the same. One of the sub-questions that followed The Question was, “Do you do it in the hiney?” which had the dual meaning of liking to be screwed as well but, for reference, this sub-question was the third question asked and after, “Do you suck it?” If the answers were yes, yes, and yes, the fourth question was, “Do you wanna do it to me?” which meant sucking and fucking and being sucked and fucked.

There were those who couldn’t handle having it stuck in them and, as such, they still wanted to be screwed so just sticking it between their cheeks – and with the dire warning to not even try to stick it in – served as a nice, if messy, alternative; there were the guys who would consent to having it stuck in… just don’t stick it in too far, okay? Yeah, those guys found that this one didn’t work the way they expected and especially when Vaseline was used; trying not to stick it in too far usually resulted in getting all of the guy’s dick in there and, oops, sorry about that.

Those of us who enjoyed being screwed and creamed knew the answer to the question some of us asked girls: “What does it feel like?” and I know I got to understand why they would say, “It feels good!” and nothing more than that because there are no words that can really explain how good it feels – as long as the guy screwing you was of a mind to make it feel good to you and… some just didn’t care about that. I know that I didn’t like those guys all that much and especially the ones who would go out of their way to make it hurt as much as they could and I just… bore up under it without complaint because I didn’t want to get tagged as being a chump and a cry baby and like some guys wound up getting hit with.

I can’t count the number of times I was under a guy and he’s fucking me in a way that had me lying there wishing and praying that he’d hurry up and cum… and I understood why some girls also felt this way and how much they hated being made to feel this way. Still, being screwed and creamed… felt good; just having the guy on top of me and humping me felt weirdly comfortable and so much that if, by chance, the guy couldn’t get it in me, that was kinda/sorta okay because I knew he was going to cum – unless he was frustrated over not being able to get it in me and his frustration got in the way of things which kinda made getting screwed one of those, “Why did I bother?” things and, as such, I was getting a lesson in why girls insisted that we cum in – or on – them and why they’d get mad if we didn’t cum.

Getting into the adult years, I found that getting fucked was so routine that it was sometimes… boring. Dealing with guys who wanted to fuck but didn’t want to be fucked (and usually because they were afraid of it, the chumps) and finding out that there were more guys who…weren’t all that nice about it and both physically and verbally abusive which would all too often bring a quick and violent end to things because I wasn’t having any of that and if I told him to stop and get out of me – and he didn’t – well, I knew how to make them stop and get out and, yeah, blood was spilled, feelings got hurt, and as such would make me wonder if being fucked was worth the hassles that were showing up.

And, one night, having the world-shattering moment when getting screwed… wasn’t fun at all. And I gave it up. Both ways. I had blamed the guy I’d had sex with that night (and he had the longest dick I’ve ever personally seen and had, by the way) but I… knew it wasn’t really his fault that the joy of being screwed had packed its bags and left like a thief in the night. After further review, I would recall that despite his measured 13″, he… fucked me nicely but I also recalled that when it was his turn to be fucked, he whined and cried about it like the hated “little bitch” – and that was before I even got in him! He whined and cried even more once I did and the whole time I was (a) fucking him and (b) sucking his cleaned dick because, well, it was long enough, and it was right there, and I did have a good time sucking him off while fucking him and… he’s whining and complaining the whole damned time.

I would, years later, realize that him… being a little whiny bitch about it did play into it not being fun but I would also see that in the twenty to twenty-five period of my life, fucking a guy/being fucked was, again, so routine that it just wasn’t fun, and I would understand that my night with the cry baby was really the straw that broke the camel’s back. So I swore off of it. Which was fine because I loved sucking dick more and always had so this wasn’t going to be a problem… or so I thought.

A few more years would go by and I was finding moments where I missed screwing a guy and getting screwed, but I was being stubborn about it and ignoring what my body was telling me and making what would be lame excuses to the many guys who wanted me balls-deep in them and… nope, I wasn’t going to do to a guy what I no longer liked being done to me. Being… hypocritical when I got my boyfriend and, well, we were in love and that meant that we should fuck each other and as I’m typing this, I’m thinking about the lies I told myself back then and how… abjectly stupid I was about this because my body knew what I wanted and needed more than my idiotic brain did. After my boyfriend and I had to break up, I… came to my senses and more so when the joy of fucking/being fucked had, indeed, returned with my boyfriend and now it was about taking care of the need when it needed to be taken care of.

As opposed to how it used to be and when taking – and giving – the dick was “mandatory” and, yeah, getting a hard lesson on how and why women… just got tired of being screwed and, more often than not, did it out of obligation and if they even bothered with it at all. As such, I… better understood that ancient notion where, again, guys were allowed to have sex with each other so that they would know and be prepared to have sex with women and just understanding the male drive to have sex and how it can be good and literally a pain in the ass.

I still had to rediscover the joy of being screwed; the delicious nastiness of lubing up and sliding balls-deep into someone’s backside and knowing what having my dick in them felt to them and all that good stuff. The young (but very legal) lover I had decided that he didn’t like screwing me and that was a shame because he fucked me really good and loaded me up with a huge load of cum. He also decided that he couldn’t bring himself to suck my dick but felt it unfair for me to suck him off and I get left hanging, so he wanted me to fuck him and… I was still leery about it. I tried to talk him out of it and… it didn’t work, and it wasn’t really like I had to get off with him but I understood why he made the decisions he did about this. I thought he was going to have “the usual problems” a lot of guys experience the first time they get screwed and… he didn’t.

He’d tell me how good it felt to have me inside him and how… comfortable it made him feel. I very much understood what he said about how much he liked it when I came inside him and agreed with him that, yeah, that’s the “best part” of being screwed, not to mention how it felt to have your prostate stimulated in this way and he was one of those rare-to-me guys who I’d fuck and they’d cum all over the place. With him, not only did I rediscover the joys of fucking and being fucked, I learned to pick and choose both the guys and the moments for this. It was a… final departure from the times when any guy who wanted my ass could get it and now a guy would have to be… the right guy and “right” has a lot of meanings that I’m not going to try to explain since I don’t have the vocabulary to explain it in a way that doesn’t make me sound moronic.

The guys on the forum who want to be screwed but haven’t experienced it yet… cracks me up at times. I understand their fears and concerns that didn’t have anything to do with the dreaded disease card being pulled out because the guys in my more youthful days had those same fears and concerns. Was it going to hurt? Is there a way to make it not hurt? What positions are the best? The best lubes, toys, prostate stimulators, so on and so forth. Living in a sexual world where the guys who want to be fucked are… submissive and dedicated bottoms. More of a mind to let their “inner girl” out to play than, say, my generation was about this since letting “her” out felt too much like being gay but overlooking the fact that you didn’t have to be gay to engage in anal sex. The guys who are weird about giving the dick – but they have no qualms about fucking a woman in the ass but understanding why they’re weird about it because they see fucking a guy there as being… different.

Thinking way back to the younger and crazier days when even I would ask a guy why he didn’t want to fuck me when he’d admit that he’d fucked girls in the ass and, as far as that went, a lot of girls “preferred” to be fucked in the ass in order to preserve the virginity of their pussy and to hide the fact that they were sexually active and they weren’t supposed to be – yet and if ever. For those guys, the logic was sound: If you’d fuck a girl in the ass, you could – and should – fuck me because… an ass is an ass. Or dealing with guys who, for some reason, were afraid to cum in me or were funny about having cum in them and, as I would learn from them, they couldn’t get used to how it felt, and some guys were actually afraid that they’d like it.

Mentoring a guy in the ways of bisexuality and, first, laughing at him at how weird he was about fucking a guy that clearly wanted to be and then him saying that he would never be fucked… and me both laughing and telling him that there will come a time where he’s going to want to be fucked and laughing even more because I know he didn’t believe me. Of course, he found out that I was right, and it took him quite a while for him to admit that he did like being fucked and creamed and I reminded him that I did tell him that he would have to find the pleasure in it…

And just like I had found it. Then lost it. And found it again but in a different way. Understanding that it… doesn’t feel right to give it up and just because you’re expected to but the “right” way to give a guy your ass is when you feel the need to be fucked – and then with the hope he’s not going to be an asshole about your asshole. While a lot of guys are of the “size matters” contingent, I understand that size really means nothing but being able to enjoy the… nasty sensations and feelings of a man’s dick in your ass has a lot more meaning and, yeah, just like a lot of women have learned, bigger isn’t always better. The understanding that it’s not the size of the dick that can be problematic: It’s the guy it’s attached to that can be a joy or he becomes one of those bad decisions or, fuck, why did I think that having him fucking me was going to be a good thing?

Understanding why some girls/women would just lie there and take the fucking instead of demanding an immediate withdrawal and my belief that a lot of men can’t understand this… because they don’t know what it’s like to be fucked and they don’t know because, to be blunt, they’re scared to death of it. Their fear is understandable if only you consider where the dick is going and, yeah, it does hurt going in and even the smallest dick is going to be felt violating this singular place that many consider to be wholly and forever off-limits. The “side effect” of this that just might be responsible for men becoming sick and dying from prostate cancer… because they’re not going to let a doctor stick their finger in their ass for the few seconds it’ll take a doctor to feel the prostate. Getting the finger doesn’t bother me since, um, I’m used to having bigger things in my ass and I can even admit that… having my prostate examined feels good.

Yeah, I remember my first DRE – digital rectal exam – and having an embarrassing moment when my doctor slid his finger in and in the process of locating my prostate, I not only had an orgasm, but I was sporting quite the boner… and one that he acted like he didn’t see. The first time I had a female doctor do the DRE… and she was weirder about it than I was, but I understood it because a lot of guys really don’t want anyone messing with them back there. She quickly gave me the finger and she said, “That wasn’t bad, was it?” and I got the sense that it not being bad was all about her and not having to deal wtih a guy… being a whiny bitch about it than me being uncomfortable with a woman sticking her finger in my ass… when I’ve had a lot of women do that and they weren’t interested in the health of my prostate.

My protege and I often get philosophical about being fucked and inseminated. Sometimes expressing the sentiment that there’s something somewhat spiritual and very primal about being screwed in the ass and those conversations tend to get pretty deep but always boils down to how it makes us feel to be fucked and how it feels when he cums in us. He talks a lot about that bitchy, girly feeling that I know all too well and, these days, it doesn’t bother him as much as it used to; I would tell him that there’s no way to avoid feeling bitchy and girly and the secret to not being bothered by it is… to embrace the feeling and use it to enhance the pleasure of being fucked and the important lesson for him that I not only felt this way but I learned to embrace it.

And if I could, he could. He gets… ticked off dealing with guy who refuse to fuck him, and we often talk about “the bottom mindset” and try to suss out why such men refuse to use their dicks and like they very much want him to do. It is what it is these days but I speak to the fact that when you have sex with a man, you learn some shit about yourself and things that you didn’t know and for them, it boils down to it’s better to receive the dick than the give the dick and the whole top/bottom thing can make being fucked… problematic more than anything else and, yeah, I remind him that when I was growing up, you gave and received the dick in your ass… because it was fair and shying away from it made you a chicken-shit pussy of a chump.

Sighing and as usual. A lot of people don’t and can’t understand why a man would want to be fucked in the ass or, really, why anyone would want to be. The answer is… because it feels good. Being fucked is very likely the one thing that can make someone feel very vulnerable and that’s a very disturbing feeling and one that guys who have never been fucked can’t understand and how this great sense of being vulnerable has a lot to do with how the person they’re fucking is reacting to being fucked. I can tell you how it feels but you can’t get the… fuller meaning of it and there’s only one way to find out – and a lot of guys (and gals) are not of a mind to want to know this level of vulnerability and are very afraid of it. But, just like the bitchy and girly feeling, instead of fearing it, it is to be embraced. I… like the feeling because I can feel very vulnerable when being screwed and it… means something that I cannot put into words.

I love the moment when a guy cums in me and it’s difficult to explain but I’ve seen this same moment in the women that I’ve cum in as well and, as best as I can describe it, being filled with a guy’s cum… completes some stuff deep, deep down inside of us. My protege and I were talking about this moment and he was trying to understand why the guys he was fucking behaved differently when he unloaded in them and when, by his own admission, was scared to death to cum in them. I had asked him, “Have you ever paid attention to how a woman reacts when you cum inside them?” He said that he didn’t recall ever noticing it – and most guys don’t because they’re too busy cumming but I had noticed it… and I could relate to it because I know what that feels like.

It’s either, “Ahh, yes…” or it’s “It’s about goddamned time!” I shared with him how seriously pissed off I get if a guy fucks me and he doesn’t cum in me. How I have actually punched a guy in the face for pulling it out and cumming on me and, yeah, how I have not grown out of this – absent the urge to punch him in the face, though – I have gotten better about that but it is a given that if you fuck me and you don’t cum inside of me, it’s going to suck to be you when I let you know how totally and completely pissed the fuck off I am because you didn’t fucking do what the fuck you were supposed to do.

The cum goes in me. Not on me. I can forgive accidents; there have been many times when a guy has cum while trying to get it in me. It used to piss me off but, yeah, I understood it – it happens and it’s embarrassing as all get out. Or those times when a guy over-strokes, his dick pops out of me and, yep, there’s cum on my backside and, well, damn. I am 100% not a fan of the dumb shit you can see in porn where a guy is pulling it out and ramming it back in over and over and, look, motherfucker: Put it in me and keep it the fuck in me and you’d better not pull it out so you can see yourself cum because you’re going to get severely reamed out and my dick won’t be involved in the reaming.

None of that putting me in a headlock or choking me or trying to restrain my movement and you will be putting your life at risk if you start slapping me around because I do not find it enjoyable. Guys see this in porn and think that this is how guys want and like to be fucked and… dudes need to stop doing this because it’s unnecessary and not as pleasurable as it appears to be on the screen. I sometimes laugh at myself because when it comes to being fucked, I can get… prissy about it and not all that unlike a lot of women can be about it. My ass is not a pussy, by the way, but I have strived to understand why a lot of men say that they have one and… yeah. Old school bisexual over here and one who is very literal minded about things.

This is way scarier than sucking a guy’s dick. Swallowing cum (or wearing it if one prefers) is easier than having a guy pumping it into your backside because the implication is clear and one that kicked me in the balls and had me thinking, “He’s trying to get me pregnant…” and the thought was disturbing and unsettling but my mind took over and said, “Well, yeah, he is – what do you think fucking is really about and you know it’s not just about the pleasure.” Yeah, I do. I know what it means and more so given how many women I have fucked in my life and knowing that it could result in them getting pregnant. The only “real difference” is that a guy can cum in me and all that has happened is that… he came in me. Feels absolutely wonderful or, yeah, “It’s about goddamned time! Jesus Christ – what the fuck took you so long?”

You get fucked by a guy and you learn some shit about men and why women can’t stand us when it comes to having sex. You learn that it’s not as bad as everyone says it is. You learn that it’s not as gay as everyone assumes it to be and it can be done cleanly and safely. Some learn to never say never about it. That what can really make it bad is the guy doing it and not letting someone else’s fears about it to become your fears.

I grew up with this. Just another thing about that sex thing none of us were supposed to find out about. The many things I learned by getting screwed and creamed and not just about myself.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 24 May 22

In the wee hours of this morning, I had the “weirdest” thoughts about guys and anal sex and, in particular, guys who want to bottom… and haven’t gotten to it yet and why they might not have (and other than what they might say to this).

Earlier, Cityman had sent me a porn clip of a guy just wailing away on a woman who was all “pretzelized” and, looking at her face, she was not having fun being hammered. While we were discussing the pros and cons we took away from the clip, I got to wondering if some guys are afraid to be fucked… because they know what they do when they slide their prick into a woman and especially if she’s not liking how it’s going.

Sigh. This is like the “holy grail” of M2M sex and, well, yeah, we know what’s said about it and those who aren’t fans of this wonder why a guy would want to fuck someone in the ass and why someone would want to. Of course, the first and obvious thing is that among men, um, other than mouths, that doesn’t leave any other place for this to take place and who doesn’t know about it hurting like nothing you’ve ever felt before? That, all by itself, is enough to make guys clench their butt cheeks tighter than white on rice but, yeah, is some of the resistance to being fucked due to guys knowing what they do to women… and now it’s their turn?

A lot of guys who get boned often speak to how… girly and bitchy it feels. That’s a… mental thing; our brain takes this… input and relates it to what we know – screwing women and they’re the only ones who can and should be screwed but, yeah, there you are, all lubed up, and waiting in anticipation for the moment when homey’s lubed-up knob knocks on your back door and demanding entrance and just goes right on in and, whew, holy shit, wow, um, wait, wait – give me a moment or if that moment is really unbearable, take it out! If you make it past that part and manage to get adjusted, well, you’re going to be fucked and “just like” you fucked the last woman you fucked… and that girly, bitchy feeling can wash over you in either an ugly or very delightful way, depending on where your head really is about what’s being done to you.

I know that I’ve felt that way and it’s… disturbing and “conflicting” because my mind knows that I’m a guy; yet I’m being screwed like a girl would be and, to “make it worse,” I wanted to be screwed. I always go back to that very (and literal) seminal moment when a guy was unloading his balls into me and I thought, “He’s trying to get me pregnant!” I still don’t know where that thought came from other than it was in my head somewhere and decided to make itself known at the right or wrong time – and depending how I’m feeling about that moment.

I knew some guys who wanted to be screwed but decided not to go through it… because, as they shared, they knew what they did to women and they really didn’t want to find out what it’s like to be fucked so, if nothing else, it was a fantasy that they had no desire to realize. I couldn’t say that I blamed them for thinking this way but as I say a whole lot, when you have sex with a man, you get to learn some of the same things women do, from what they like and what they can’t stand or not gonna put up with.

It can make one feel so… vulnerable and for many, that’s not a good feeling and more so when you find yourself at his “mercy” when his dick is in you and being able to shake this rather scary feeling isn’t easy to do… and you very much get an idea what a woman might be feeling in those moments. I found that being screwed changed the way I screwed women because, yep, I found what I liked about it and what would make me want to punch homey dead in the balls and as hard as I could manage to do so.

In the early going, I was of a mind that a lot of the big-dicked guys who’d fuck me were doing so because a woman didn’t want to be bothered with homey wreaking havoc on her cervix and just hammering away inside of her like he’s lost his fucking mind. I also was of a mind that they refused to be fucked and not just because it was an affront to their masculinity but because they didn’t want some dude doing to them what they’d done to women – and what turned women off about them.

Paybacks are a bitch… and revenge is a motherfucker. Perhaps for some guys who are considering being fucked but, um, let’s not and say we did, they know that karma is about to pay them a visit and give them a serious taste of the same medicine.

It’s all “fun and games” until you feel his knob shoving those muscles aside and once he gains entrance, unless you stop him, you know how this is going to end and the “funny” part is that you knew this before things even got to this point and moment. You wanted to know what it was like… and now you know and maybe you’re one and done with this but if you’ve learned nothing from this, you’ve learned what it can feel like to women to be fucked and inseminated.

So many horror stories that leaves being dicked down a fantasy for some guys. Yeah, yeah, it can hurt going in but is that the only reason why for them, this act remains in the realm of fantasy because they know what they do when they fuck a woman… and now, some guy wants to do the same thing to them? Maybe. I know guys toss out the disease card on this one and while it’s a reality if it’s done in the raw, that can be eliminated easily enough. Is it going to hurt? You bet your ass it will; you can find out the tips and tricks other guys use to “get past” that moment but that’s theory… until, well, you know.

Maybe karma is a pissed-off bitch and guys “know” this so if a guy is asking about fucking them, the answer is a hard no. I can’t say that I know this for a fact but y’all should know by now how my mind tends to work and some of the “weird” shit it tends to slide into my conscious thinking.

I remember talking to Cityman about this and him putting this out for discussion: What does a bottom get out of being fucked? One of the things I told him was that the trick of being fucked in the ass is being able to find the pleasure in it and not assume that it’s just going to be there… and if he really wanted to know, there’s only one way to find out. I also, um, strongly suggested that he gets fucked so that he can understand how the makes the other guy feel when he’s sliding all of his dick in the guy’s ass.

Which he eventually did and the thing that bothered him more than the pain and discomfort of having a big dick in his ass was the fact that he felt like “a little bitch” and he even admitted to acting like one while trying to adjust to things. I now wonder – and I’ll ask him later – if he had the bitchy feeling in mind before the fact or did it slammed into him “out of nowhere;” his answer might be interesting and could speak to an underlying reason why he was very leery about it.

Another sigh. I get to see the guys with virgin assholes go on and on about having their first time with this and especially the preference for a big dick; they’ll also go on and on about why they haven’t taken this particular plunge and lose their cherry… and the asshole that lives in my head just got to wondering if it’s possible that they still have their cherry… because they are all too aware of how they’ve gone about fucking women and getting feedback that, well, might not give a guy the five-star review he might want to get… and karma will show up to exact some revenge .

Hmm.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “Wait – You Wanna Do What?”

I can’t think of anything that’ll get a guy upset more than finding out that the guy you’ve been happily having oral sex with saying that it would be nice if he could stick his dick in your ass… and more so when you weren’t expecting this and even more so when getting boned in da butt wasn’t on your list of things to do.

Ah, so much “drama” behind this one. Guys are seriously funny about things being around their buttholes. It’s gay as hell. Is a clear and present danger to their masculinity and more than having a cock in their mouth is. Mention a prostate exam to a lot of guys and watch them get that look on their face and, in truth, a lot of men die from prostate cancer because it’s detected too late to do anything about and because they refused to bend over and let a doctor give them the finger.

Okay. If you’re male and bisexual, any sex you have with a guy is… optional. If it’s something you’re not comfortable with, you don’t have to do it, like, say, kissing, or if you’ve not acquired the taste, you don’t have to allow the guy to cum in your mouth and if that makes him unhappy, oh, well. And you most certainly don’t have to get fucked if you don’t want to be… but if you do, well, okay, I’d love to tell you that your biggest issue is going to be that, yep, it can hurt going in and all that but the biggest issue, I think, is being able to find the pleasure in it and that might not be easy to do.

For a lot of guys, this act is just too gay for them and with emphasis on the word, “gay” and what being gay mean even in general terms. Yes: Gay men historically have sex like this. Truth: Not all men who get fucked are gay and it doesn’t make them gay. What’s the big deal about it? Well… that’s something you’d have to find out for yourself because, say, asking me is only going to let you know what goes on inside my head when I’ve assumed the position and homey is pushing his dick into my ass (and I might get into that later in this scribble). I think because there is so much negativity that’s been around about anal sex – and for good reason – it can make a guy looking to bottom be very leery about it. Story time.

My protege, when we were talking about being fucked, emphatically said that he would never allow it and stated reasons that I find to be the usual reasons why guys are so against this and including the thing everyone knows that it’s gonna hurt. I read what he had to say and it was a good thing he couldn’t see me because if he could, he would have seen the smirk I had on my face and just before I told him something that I learned about this and from experience: “Don’t be surprised when, one day, you’re gonna want to be fucked. You’re of a mind that you won’t ever do it but I’ll ask you to believe me when I tell you that you’re gonna want some guys to stick it in you and fuck you until he cums. Been there. Been done like that more times than I care to admit to. And I suggest that when this moment arrives, you just go with it and for no other reason than you will learn what it’s like to the guys you have no qualms about fucking.”

He didn’t believe me and I didn’t expect him to. The first time he got boned it was, um, epic, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing as he described how it felt to him and how he reacted to it and that he tapped out after a couple of minutes. No shame in that and I said as much to him and gave him props for giving it a shot to begin with. We talked about the “bitchy and girly” feeling he experienced and how much it bothered him – and not only are those feelings real they can be bothersome because they clash with a guy’s sense of being male and masculine since, you know, most of us believe that only “really gay men” and women get fucked but real men don’t – ever. I said that he should – and, if he’s gonna be fucked again (and he will be) – learn to embrace the bitchy feeling instead of letting it bother him and, importantly, find the pleasure in being fucked as well as the fact that there must be something pleasurable about it because a lot of guys are very much okay with being fucked and creamed… and not all of them are gay or would even want to be.

Even I had to learn how to find the pleasure in it. Yeah, most of the time it hurt going in but it wasn’t until I somehow “learned” to not pay attention to that and then, well, hey, this feels pretty good. I didn’t have a clue about prostate stimulation… because I didn’t know anything about us having a prostate but what I did know was that it felt good to have a guy on top of me and he’s working his dick in and out of me and how oddly good it felt to feel his dick pulsing in my butt and understanding that he was shooting his baby-making stuff in me… and like I was a girl. A very yucky feeling but, as I would continue to learn, not that bad of a feeling. If there was a downside, it was that some guys just seemed to “go out of their way” to make being fucked not feel good and that’s a major bummer but I would also learn that despite what the other guy is doing, it’s still on me to be able to find the pleasure in it; otherwise, this isn’t going to be fun at all… and why do it if you’re not going to enjoy it?

I remember the day my protege hit me up and told me that he was with this guy and he got screwed and creamed and because he wanted to. He didn’t exactly come out and tell me that I was right – and I didn’t bother with telling him, “I told you, didn’t I…?” because there was really no point to it. I sat and read what he had to say about the whole thing and paid particular attention to what he was saying about how he felt throughout it all. His “final word” on it was that it still felt bitchy but not necessarily in a bad way but it was also something he wasn’t going to do all of the time. I didn’t say it but I knew he was going to feel this way about it because he wasn’t the first guy who’d said pretty much the same thing about being screwed. I made it clear to him that, for one, a lot of guys are going to want to fuck him but, for the other and main thing, he didn’t have to allow it if he didn’t want to.

I told him that it is really okay to want to be screwed and no matter how “silly” that might feel. I truthfully told him that I don’t understand why this makes sense to some guys and more so when they’re firmly against being screwed but, yeah, with some guys, you just wanna be screwed. Having your dick sucked until you cum is nice but the “finishing touches” comes when a guy enters you and fucks you until he cums. Having your prostate stimulated in this way is… a pretty weird feeling and if the guy finds the right angle, oh, yeah, feeling his cock just giving your prostate the business is a pretty intense feeling and to the point where some guys wind up ejaculating and/or having a very intense orgasm.

It feels good. I’d be the first to admit that it does and, oh, yeah, feeling his cock pulsing away inside of me when he came was amazingly pleasing and in ways that, to this very day, I can’t explain all that well. It is the source of my position that guys who get screwed and cream find out what women like – and hate – about it and that once a guy can wrap his head around that, it just might change the way he fucks women or, if nothing else, can make him more… considerate.

But one still has to be able to find the pleasure in it. I know that some guys get boned… because it’s expected of them. Just one of those things he has to endure and I’ve heard some guys say that it’s just the price they have to pay when they want to have sex with another guy. Okay, I understand that since, um, since I’ve been screwed by a guy and it was the last thing I wanted to do but, yeah – obligatory. Occupational hazard. I tended to miss the good part of it because I was too busy being “unhappy” about being screwed when I didn’t want to but saying no, well, okay, this is just part of the deal… and I learned to understand why women will “just lie there and take it” even though they shouldn’t but, yep, I understand it… and a lot of guys have learned to understand this, too. I’d learn to say no and mean it and the thing about doing this – and you’re a guy – is that you can have both the muscle and will to prevent it from happening and, yes, violence is often involved. Yes – men fear being raped just like women fear it, which makes bottoming for a guy feel iffy and a cause for concern.

I’ve told guys who are curious about being fucked to not look at gay porn and take it as the way to take a dick in their ass. Porn exaggerates things. Makes it look easier than it really is. One forum member who is, at the least, curious about bottoming and asking why one would want to bottom said that he watches gay porn but gets turned off seeing men kissing, which is something I think is fairly normal and I got the sense that he felt that in order to wind up being screwed, he had to kiss the guy… and the truth is he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to – but porn will make a lot of guys believe that what they’re looking at – and jerking off to – is the way getting boned has to be.

The reality is different. A lot of guys romanticize being screwed and even though that tends to make me roll my eyes, I really do understand that this is how they find the pleasure in being fucked. Some guys are professed submissive or power bottoms – and I don’t pretend to understand what being a power bottom really means but at the root of it, it’s these guys having found the pleasure of having a hard dick in their ass and the cock’s owner making a deposit or, as some guys seem to prefer, homey pulling out and just letting the spunk fly and land where it may.

Hey… whatever works and makes you happy… and this is the key to the whole being screwed thing. Some guys find the pleasure immediately and take to being screwed like the proverbial ducks to water and, I think, because they want to be screwed and they want to find the pleasure. Most guys have to learn what’s pleasurable about it and, yeah, I had to learn that myself. Not all guys can find the pleasure in it and some guys, well, don’t even think about trying to fuck them – their ass is off-limits and that includes no fingers are allowed in there. I get it. I know why those guys feel the way they do and many feel that sucking cock is the “lesser of two evils” and with being penetrated and inseminate the worst thing ever.

Anal sex is part of the M2M thing. Not all of us do it either way; it’s just easier for a lot of people to believe that we all do this and, yep, if we do, that means we’re gay. No, it means that it’s an aspect of having sex that we don’t find disagreeable and for whatever reason we don’t and won’t say no to it. I have always found it interesting to run into guys who are 100% against being screwed… but then they do and they have a hard time making sense of why they wanted to be or why they allowed it to happen and then get to feeling some kind of way about it and, at first, denying that they found it pleasurable but, um, when they really think about it, it wasn’t that bad – and now we’re all into that “it’s not something I’d do all of the time” thing that a lot of guys are wont to say and that fine – you don’t have to if you don’t want to but and when you do, it is what it is.

I’ve heard women say that they don’t understand why guys have to fuck each other and the first thing is that, um, we’re guys and pretty much programmed to fuck and that can include other guys. Why would a guy want to be fucked? Um, because it feels good and in ways that often defies explanation. That shit is nasty? Of course, it’s nasty but, um, so is having a dick in a woman’s coochie and a sentiment some women would disagree with – but I know the science. I’ve even heard some women who are all for being boned in butt say that they don’t understand why a guy would want to be and, yeah, I’ve gotten that look on my face because, uh, how can they not understand it? Oh, that’s right – guys are only supposed to have sex with women. It has often had me in tears laughing at how… funny guys get about this. Some don’t really give a lot of thought about wanting to fuck a woman in the ass but mention fucking a guy in the ass… and watch them lose their shit about it; tell them that it’s no different from fucking a woman in the ass and they will tell you that it is different… because doing that to a guy is… gay. If I tell them that not all men who are into anal sex are gay, some have insisted that the dudes have to be gay.

And therein lies the reason why anal sex is more of a pain in the ass than it really is: Perception. It’s 100% not masculine to stick your dick in a guy’s ass and even less masculine to be the guy getting fucked. We have, forever and ever, believed this to be true… and it isn’t, but as I’ve said time and time again, perception is believed more than the truth. As per our habit, we will throw down the disease card in a hurry but not without reason because there are risks involved and, well, sex is risky to begin with and always has been but, yeah, you’ve probably heard all about dudes fucking each other and how fatal it is… except, the bad shit doesn’t always happen – it’s just easier to assume that it will.

Sigh. For guys, being screwed and creamed is a very iffy subject to talk about. Some – and maybe most – of us are very funny about someone messing with our butthole and, again, so much that a lot of us won’t have that digital rectal exam done to determine the health of our prostate and, sadly, a lot of us die because we are too weird about something that only takes a couple of seconds for a doctor to do. A little pressure, a bit of a poke, and here’s some tissues to deal with the lube. Doctors also use the DRE to do a test of whatever feces might be present for signs of blood which can be an indication that something’s not right with our colon and, well, you know what that can mean. To be 100% honest, um, l always look forward to the DRE… and not totally because I want my prostate to be and remain healthy. I just do not mind it when my doctor has to poke around in there to touch my prostate as much as he needs to in order to determine if it’s as okay as the blood test says it is… because it feels good having his finger in my ass but, then again, I’ve had dicks in my ass, too. And, yeah, I’ll even admit that when he’s poked my prostate, I’ve sometimes had a mini orgasm and one time, he was having a problem finding my prostate and was moving his finger around so much that I was getting an erection and, um, I made it a point not to turn around while getting the lube wiped away and to save myself some possible embarrassment, hurried up and got my underwear and pants pulled up. My prostate is healthy and that’s the main point but, um, yeah – getting the finger feels good.

It stands to reason that if a guy is really funny about getting the finger, getting something much bigger shoved in there is, well, let’s not and say we did, okay? But for those of us who don’t mind something bigger being stuffed in there, it’s because we’ve found the pleasure in it and whatever that means to us. We have learned that there are things we should do to prepare to be screwed and some guys do this as a matter of course because you never really know if you’re gonna be screwed but it’s better to be prepared. I have heard guys say stuff from don’t stick it in too far to don’t cum in me; I’ve heard and seen guys be really funny – and understandably – about the possibility of catching something if they stick it in and cum in the guy but, I think, not understanding that unless they used a condom, the moment he attempted penetration, he already assumed the risk.

When I tell you how funny guys are about stuff, I’m not kidding about it. That particular orifice is deemed to be off-limits. We know what comes out of there. Ew and yuck. Even sticking a finger in there can hurt like the dickens. Not even going there. Don’t even think about it. Having said that – and with the thing I’ve noticed about guys being into having their prostate stimulated – and medical professionals saying that such stimulation can aid in prostate health, wow – I’ve seen the toys being made for this purpose and, um, I know what it’s like to have something vibrating in my butt and, whew, boy, does that feel interesting or what? A lot of guys are okay with this. Some guys use dildoes on themselves or wouldn’t mind being pegged by a woman because, well, it’s not a guy and since it’s not a guy, it isn’t gay.

But it never really was since there have always been men who have gotten boned who weren’t gay… and they got boned because they found the pleasure in it. The truth is that you’re either gonna like it or you just won’t. The truth also is that if you don’t want to be screwed, you don’t have to allow it and no more than you have to kiss guys or swallow spunk if you haven’t or don’t want to acquire the taste. But the truth also is that there are guys who like being screwed… because it feels good. The “problem” is that in order to be able to find the pleasure, um, well, you gotta get something in there. A finger. One of those “scary looking” prostate stimulators. A dildo… or the real thing. My protege – and, really, a lot of guys – have asked me what I like about it and my favorite part of being screwed is… when he cums. Feeling him pumping it in me. Having my prostate “messed with” is intense but, yeah, it’s him finishing that gives me a lot of pleasure and, yes, I do get some kind of pissed if he pulls it out at that moment and doesn’t cum in me.

My protege asked what was up with that and to answer his question, I asked him one: Have you ever paid attention to how women react when you cum inside of them? Or how they react if you get right to the point where you’re gonna cum… and you pull it out and cum on them? If you’ve ever noticed how women react in this moment, you’re not going to understand how… complete the act feels and, yeah, not easy to explain. Well, he knows what I was trying to say about that and he agrees that it feels “nasty good” to feel that happening… because it’s supposed to feel good. I’ve had to tell him that when he does get boned, don’t let the after-the-fact thoughts he might have get in the way of him being able to find the pleasure he felt during the fact and that those “afterthoughts” more often than not will convince a guy that being screwed wasn’t all that pleasurable.

The pleasure is there – you just gotta want to find it and if you aren’t of a mind to find it, you never will and, nope, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s really not as “gay” as we have always presumed it to be since, duh, not all men who like being fucked are gay. We are quick to let the act define the people involved in it because we all know that only gay men have sex like this. It’s a totally different thing when it’s a woman’s butt we’re all up into and the only real difference is… she’s female but her, um, hole isn’t any different from ours.

Sigh. Men and women can be extremely funny about this and not without reason… but a lot of men are learning not to be so funny about it and finding the pleasure in it. For some, it’s like if they can learn to take one of those crazy-looking and seriously big dildoes in their butt, “logic” suggests that taking the real thing can’t be all that different… but there is one. If you use a toy on yourself, you’re going to be mindful not to cause any… undue discomfort where some horny guy might not be that much of a mind to be concerned with any discomfort you might feel and, yeah, it is what it is. Sometimes, it’s not being screwed that’s bad – it’s how the guy screwed you that can be less pleasurable than desired.

Women know this. If we learn nothing else from being screwed, we learn what women like and absolutely hate about being fucked… and it’s usually the guy who’s doing it and not the act so much. More sighing and a huge duh: We can’t get pregnant so it’s not a concern that we have that women most certainly do have. But it’s like that one moment where a guy was screwing me and as he unloaded in my ass I thought, “He’s trying to get me pregnant!” and, well, I was feeling some kind of way about that, but I later realized that, yeah, that’s exactly the intent of it despite it being impossible… and it’s the source of that bitchy, girly feeling a lot of guys speak to. One is either going to be able to embrace this rather disturbing feeling and take pleasure from it… or it’s just not gonna happen. I think a lot of guys who want to get boned are more worried about it hurting like nothing else they can compare it to and I’m not gonna lie and say that it doesn’t hurt at some point because it can… but not always but, yep, when the dick is going in, it can feel not all that good. A lot of guys admit that, yep, it was something getting it in there but, hmm, after a few, it just stopped hurting and started feeling… good and, hopefully, homey isn’t going to do anything to make it stop feeling good but, yeah, that happens, too.

If there’s something that flirts with that thin line between pleasure and pain, this is one of them. It really can hurt really good and as crazy as that sounds. It scares a lot of men and not because it’s gonna hurt at some point… but allowing it just might hurt the way they feel about being male and masculine and since it might, it’s something to be avoided at all costs and, yeah, the horror stories about being in jail or in prison? They’re real and knowing that they are puts a lot of fear into a lot of us and for good reason.

However, a lot of guys can set those fears aside so they can find the pleasure in being fucked. We just find the pleasure in it and even if it doesn’t make sense to someone else. It’s sex. You’re gonna like it or you just won’t even if the thing that gets inserted is a finger. Just the way things are. Like I told my protege: At some point, you learn to pick your moments and those moments depend upon how you’re feeling and how the mood is flowing because, for a lot of guys, there’s no intent to be screwed but never discount the power of being in the heat of the moment and as evidenced by the many times I’ve change my mind and even being surprised that I did. Admittedly, I got screwed a lot when I was younger and so much that it stopped being a fun thing for me to do… and I had to do some serious thinking about that aspect of having sex. Just a thing of it taking me a while to understand that I didn’t have to just because the other guy wanted to and learning to say no and mean it. It took me a while to be able to get back to finding the pleasure in it but, yeah, not everyone gets to get in my ass – lesson learned and one a lot of guys wind up learning.

All pretty normal. Some guys live to be fucked. Some, eh, not so much but it’s okay “every now and then” or when they’re in the mood. And for many, don’t even think about going there and the funnier thing is that some guys would, if given the choice, rather suck dick than to be fucked… and that sucking dick ain’t as bad as they thought it would be. Funny how that works, too…

I know what it like and I know what a lot of guys think about this one way or the other. Whether it’s “your thing” to do or not depends on where your head is about it and it’s not easy for “every guy” who wants to experience this to get their head into that place where they can find it pleasurable. And, oddly enough, if there’s a way to get used to having something in your butt, embrace “the suck” of having your prostate examined; it might not be that big of a thrill, but it could save your life and I’m thinking that’s pretty thrilling all by itself. If you’re getting busy with the lady and she wants to give you the finger, um, just try not to get all weird about it and more so when chances are you don’t have any qualms about putting your fingers in her. You can even finger yourself if you don’t “trust” anyone else to do it and I’ll even say the best way to go about it is when you’re showering and everything is all nice and soapy… and slick. It’ll feel weird but just relax and don’t forget to breathe and, yeah, you might want to clip your fingernails so they’re short and without sharp edges before trying this and you just might be able to poke your prostate and you’ll know it when you do.

It’s just something that one who wants to experience this has to adjust to and, again, be able to have their head in a place where they want to find the pleasure that so many other guys say they get out of being screwed. It’s there. Find it for yourself… or not. Your choice but it’s not mandatory to give up your ass if you don’t want to and like a lot of tops assume it is. In this, it’s not “all about” what he wants to do but definitely about what you want done to you. Don’t buy into that porno shit and, for extra credit – and if you’re of a mind to, just pay attention to how the person getting the dick in their ass reacts when being penetrated – just look at their face because it’ll tell you what might really be going on with what you’re seeing and always keep in mind that those being fucked in the ass, and in the more professional versions of porn, are being paid to do it – doesn’t mean they like it but they have to act like they do… but you can always tell when they ain’t feeling it all that much. The industry counts on you not to pay attention to this and if you’re gonna watch gay porn and there’s some anal sex happening, you might want to pay attention to this kind of stuff while keeping in mind that there’s a lot to this that you don’t see; seriously, do you really think it’s that easy to just mount a guy and shove your dick in him without… certain preparations being done before the fact?

Don’t use porn as a “how-to” primer. Learn what has to be done and do it religiously and, yeah, use condoms. Learn to find what so many guys find pleasurable about being screwed. Hell, frot with a guy to get used to “being screwed” even though there’s no penetration. And if you don’t want to learn these things, you don’t have to. It, just like any of this, isn’t for everyone. But, um, if you really wanna know what it’s like, well, you know what you gotta do.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: If You’re Gonna Do It, Finish It

Cityman and I had the most interesting conversation yesterday regarding anal sex; if this topic gives you the creeps, you can stop reading now.

So… he sent me a clip of a guy being screwed and my first thoughts were, “Okay, I don’t see what got his attention about this…” but I kinda patiently waited to see how this was going to turn out. The guy doing the fucking pulls out the expected long-assed dick and shot a couple of rather impressive gouts of spunk all over the other guy’s back. I had rolled my eyes, took a deep breath, and responded, “Wow… but what a waste; he should’ve put all of that in the other guy.”

The clip was in the amateur porn category and, as such, the time-honored money shot is a must – I get it even if, like much of porn, it doesn’t reflect real-life stuff all that much. And since I mentioned this to Cityman – and it’s not like he didn’t know this already since we’ve had this conversation a few times – we got into a differently worded discussion about finishing the job, to use this term. When he mentioned that, for real, there are probably reasons why the guy doing the fucking pulls out and hoses everything down, I wanted to know what those reasons were since, in my mind and experiences, there were no reasons for it that I was aware of.

He mention the risk of disease (not unexpected) and I said that all that went out the window the moment homey went in there raw… so what other reasons could there be? Cityman mentioned… um, the mess to be cleaned up and I said, “Of course it’s messy – duh!” At this point, I was sure that he really couldn’t point to a reason but I provided him one or two and beginning with the porn money shot and how some guys are… fascinated with watching themselves cum all over the place… but then often find themselves having to deal with an unhappy bottom because from this guy’s perspective, the job didn’t get finished as he expected it to be.

There is an… expectation that may not make a lot of sense to some folks but guys who like to be screwed expect you to leave the dick in there when you cum – and even if you do it in a condom – because to snatch it out in that moment is… pretty fucked up. Makes one feel incomplete and, as a few guys have related to me over the years, doing that can make one feel like they went through all of that… for nothing. Homey busted his nut and like he wanted to and by pulling out, deprived them of that… good feeling of being inseminated and, yeah, even if things get messy after the fact.

I really don’t pretend to fully understand why this is so important but it is. I allowed that as a form of birth control, yeah – pulling out of a woman who doesn’t want to get pregnant and/or not a fan of condoms or even allergic makes sense but even some women who employ this method have told me that it doesn’t feel the same; doesn’t mean the sex leading up to his release wasn’t good but it was… incomplete. The “job” wasn’t finished. It’s a sentiment I can identify with and ya might be… surprised that men can feel this way when we get screwed.

I kinda went off the rails at this point and short version is that if I deem that I want you to screw me – and it’s safe – okay, stick it in and get to fucking and, oh, yeah, don’t even think about pulling it out and shooting all over me because there will be… trouble and as the only two guys who did that to me found out. I was not amused nor was I all that understanding about them wanting to see their nut shooting out and even less amused when I said that because they did that, I left incomplete; unfinished; went through all of that pounding and stretching and didn’t get what I wanted out of the deal and, yeah, the motherfuckers just didn’t do and finish the job.

Cityman got “quiet” at this point and the only thing he said was that he found being screwed and inseminated to be very pleasing and strangely so. And I agreed; it is strangely pleasing and, eh, not so much if the insemination doesn’t happen. I even mentioned how some women get to feeling some kind of way when you don’t cum in them (or not at all) and many a guy has been baffled about this… unpleasantness coming from her and I figured out that it’s because homey either didn’t do the job or finish it and like he was supposed to, you know, once it’d been established that pregnancy wasn’t an issue or a concern or if the two of them were agreeable about having kids.

I’d mentioned that in my experiences, I have never fucked a guy and he’s told me not to cum in him and it’s implied that it’s exactly what I’m going to do since, um, what other reason would I have to go there other than to inseminate him to make myself – and him – a happy camper? As I continued my mini-rant, I allowed to myself that, indeed, things are different these days; some guys actually want to be ridden hard and have the, um, mess on them rather than in them and if they can see the guy losing his load, so much the better… and there’s… something about watching semen issuing forth that’s just fascinating to us – and I have no idea why. Part of my “rant” was that if you wanted to watch yourself bust a nut, you could’ve jerked off and spared me the discomfort and all that. Hell, if you wanted to see it “that bad,” I could have jerked you off so we both could see it.

Okay, yeah – very old school guy here and I do have the expectation that if you’re gonna stick it in me, you sure as hell better cum in me because I won’t be satisfied with anything that happened before this… even if I don’t really know why I’d be so dissatisfied and, again, I don’t pretend to understand what’s really going on with this except it’s something very… primal. “Nasty” in a good way. It’s not all that different from sucking a guy off; you want him to cum in your mouth (and provided you’ve acquired the taste) because to have him snatch the dick away and cum anywhere else feels… incomplete; like you did all of that work for nothing and whatever enjoyment you had having him in your mouth just went by the wayside.

Dude says, “I wanna cum on your face!” and my response will be, “Do it… and find out what’s gonna happen and I guarantee that you’re not going to like it.” Yeah… homey just does not play that shit anymore than I’m okay with getting boned and not being inseminated; if you’re not gonna do that, it would be best for both of us not to go there because, to be honest, I’m not in the mood to be pissed off about having sex. In negotiations with guys, every time they’ve expressed that they wanna “fuck the shit out of me then pull out and cum,” I have let them know that the deal has now been broken and that’s not negotiable. And the fucked up part is that I know why… and I don’t know. Now, I’ve had guys lose it before they could get it in – and I learned to be understanding about that and because it’s happened to me, too; it happens and there’s no need to get bent out of shape about it since it’s one of those “beyond your ability to really control” kind of things.

But, yeah – if you get it in, finish it. Cum in me because it strangely feels incredibly good to feel that dick pumping away and that “nasty, bitchy” feeling of being inseminated… like I’d do with a woman. It just doesn’t feel… right without it. Nowadays, guys get all into throwing the disease card around and that’s understandable and even their fears are understandable. Feeling a guy cutting loose inside a condom is… different. He finished inside you but not really. It’s “funny” that even though the risks of anal sex are always present and using a condom makes all the sense in the world (other than not going there at all), guys will go up in there raw because it… it doesn’t feel the same. Kinda satisfying but not really. Less messy and definitely safer but in the times I’ve been screwed with a condom it didn’t feel the same and I’ll be damned if I can explain it – and admit that, once again, I’m doing a poor job trying to.

During my “rant,” Cityman remained quiet and I didn’t find that unusual at all; not our first time talking about this particular thing. I remember him asking me why a guy he pulled out of got salty with him because he pulled out, I’d told him that he got pissy because you didn’t do what you were expected and supposed to do and, really, if the guy didn’t want him to cum inside him, he would have said so and maybe even decline to be screwed. And then I poorly tried to explain why getting splooged matters so much… and failed.

I wrote about this a little while ago and had mentioned me asking him, “Have you ever watched how a woman reacts when you cum in her?” and he allowed that he hadn’t – and that’s “okay” because most guys aren’t, um, paying attention to such things in that moment… but I had noticed it. They get… this look on their face and their body responds a certain way in that moment. Now, whether they have complaints or compliments after the fact is totally different but I’d seen this… look and as opposed to not seeing it when I had to pull out. Hmm. It took… a while before I’d get around to associating that look with how I’d feel when a guy was unloading in me and, holy shit: How much did I want to bet that I was reacting the same way? I really had to think about being just in that moment and, um, damn, yeah I probably did have that look on my face and I most certainly could recall how I felt in that moment.

Complete. Now, how I felt about it all afterwards was, again, different but in that moment? Homey did what he was supposed to do and, indeed, what I expected him to do: Finish me by finishing the job and making things… messy because it doesn’t feel all that good for that not to happen. I thought it was just me but a lot of guys have said similar things and there’s a connection or something going on that, well, I just suck at trying to explain.

For many of us guys who like to be screwed, if you’re gonna do it, finish it because you can probably bet anything you want that if you don’t, you will not be invited back for more of the same. Some guys say that it’s safer to pull out… and I call bullshit on that one because I know that it isn’t; the moment you came in contact, you assumed the risks and, really, you mean to tell me that you really believe that you spent all that time in homey’s butt and thought it would be safer not to cum in him… and considering where your dick was? What gets funnier is that guys don’t seem to have that same thought process when having anal sex with women who are into it and, yeah, if you stick it in them, you’d better finish it unless you’re instructed not to or it’ll suck to be you. Then again, having anal sex with a woman is often seen as being different than having it with a guy… and, nope, I have no idea why and few guys can explain it other than to keep saying that it’s different.

I get to rolling my eyes hearing guys going on and on about being bred and having their “pussy” fucked and creamed and if that’s the way they see it and how the reconcile it in their minds, okay – whatever works, my man – but the “key” point in this somewhat cockeyed way of looking at anal sex is being screwed and inseminated… because anything less than that is unacceptable. Ya had one job to do… and you didn’t do it, fella. All that interaction with our prostate is all well and good… but doesn’t serve as a “replacement” for being inseminated. Ya didn’t finish it, you selfish bastard and because you didn’t, you’ve left me feeling… incomplete. Personally pissed the fuck off. You were thinking more about what you wanted to do than you were about what the fuck you were supposed to do and it ain’t like you don’t or didn’t know what the fuck you were supposed to do. You just made everything that happened before… less than satisfying. And I’ll still be damned if I know why it feels that way…

I just know it does. Getting internally hosed down, I think, tells us how much you enjoyed being inside of us and the thought is that if you don’t do that, um, did you really enjoy us all that much? And by “us,” I mean both men and women. Sure… we might complain about the mess to be cleaned up but if we’re messy, it “says” that we both had a good time at it barring any other critiques like doing it too soon or taking too long and other such after action reports. Still, you came in us and that’s exactly what you were supposed and expected to do because until you do, things are… unfinished. Incomplete.

I can’t explain it…

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: To Continue…

In talking about submissive bisexual men, I’d be remiss not to bring in the other sexual aspect: Getting screwed. Fasten your seat belts; the time machine is cranked up and ready to go…

If you did the one thing – suck dick – chances were you did the other thing – get fucked. I don’t really remember when we all got it into our heads to include and do this in our, ah, activities but it got included. Some guys were okay with it, some weren’t and, yes, the one gay kid in our group was definitely all for it – more about him in a moment. When someone asked, “Hey, you wanna go somewhere so we can do it?” that meant dicks would get sucked and asses fucked unless someone had something particular in mind and, at first, guys who didn’t want to do both were given disparaging looks and sometimes called out as being chicken but in those early days, it could be seen where we were finding out what our “favorite” things to do with each other. There were some guys you just didn’t want to be in your butt; not because they made it a terrible experience but because they somehow couldn’t “do it right” and make it feel really good.

Now to the gay guy. Effeminate and submissive. More “girl” than the real ones in the neighborhood and when he wasn’t with us, he mostly hung out with the girls and while there were those who’d tease him about that, um, let’s say that spending some time with him would change their minds about teasing him. In comparison, he made me look like I didn’t like sex at all and there were many times when we’d cave in and have sex with him just to stop him from asking over and over. He and I would talk – we were friends and lived in the same apartment building – and sometimes, if I hadn’t known that I was talking to a guy, I’d swear I was talking to a girl. When the fellas got together, we’d talk about girls and, yeah, who you could do it to and who you couldn’t but when talking to him, we talked about boys and I got to know a lot of stuff about the guys in the neighborhood that I hadn’t known before including who he liked to have sex with more than others and, yes, I was on the favored list but, still, he would be so… bubbly about having sex with us and even more so when he was being fucked.

He’d talk about it in terms that I was familiar with and not so much. He would often say that if that was all he could do, he’d be more than happy and I would think back to the times when I’d have sex with him to notice that while he had the time of his life sucking me, he was the most happiest when I screwed him. In this, he’d make those of us who liked being fucked look like we didn’t and, indeed, if one were to close their eyes while doing him, it would be almost like doing it to a girl – just with a lot more moaning and stuff. I’d sometimes run into him and he’d be rip-roaring mad because he didn’t get screwed and to the point where he’d be in tears at times. I “hated” talking to him when he’d get like this because, I learned, I had no real idea of how much it meant to him and how… incomplete it made him feel.

With the rest of us, eh, if dicks didn’t go into asses, it wasn’t that big of a deal since sometimes, there was no time for it, butts would be all sweaty and “funky” – stuff like that or, simply, getting sucked off a few times was easier. But for him – and it would be a whole lot of years before I could recognize his submissiveness – if you didn’t screw him, he was very unhappy. I ran into him many years later and we talked about “the good old days” and he was a study in submissiveness and, at the time, even more so. It wasn’t that he’d give up his ass as a matter of course – he’d be a bottom in today’s terms – but he “got off” on being demeaned, humiliated, and abused while getting nailed. He had told me that back in the day, he felt the most… complete when guys would just use him as they saw fit and the more dominant they were about it, the better. This new information explained a lot about his behavior early on but, again, it was something that I couldn’t relate to; any guy who “got out of line” with me when his dick was in my ass would immediately face my wrath and great displeasure and, sometimes, pain was something they’d find they didn’t enjoy a whole lot.

At the time, he gave me not only a lot of insight about himself in this but the other gay men I’d run into and have sex with and I could then see how some of those other guys were more assertive while my childhood friend was more passive and, yeah, submissive. While I could understand the premise of feeling good because you made the other person feel good, my friend – and other guys like him – redefined and expanded what this meant and while my old friend regaled me with times he was fucked that made me wince, he lived for this and, I thought, not just because he was gay.

Parking the time machine now. There are a lot of guys on the forum who are like my childhood friend. Manly men as a matter of course and very damned submissive when getting some dick. I can’t forget reading what some guy wrote on one of the many topics about being fucked: “Fuck me like the bitch I am!” Indeed, for many of these submissive “anal bottoms,” the more they’re being dominated, the better it makes them feel since the guy hammering the living daylights out of his hole – and doing stuff like slapping him around, calling him all kinds of bitches and whores and the like – was deriving much pleasure at being able to use him as he wanted to. Not all of these guys like or prefer it rough but they admit to feeling the most pleasure to submissively be made love to in that everything that took place was all about the other guy and how it made them feel to, well, submit. To be owned. Often being more than willing to obey any commands given to them. To be made to submit which I thought was redundant since they were already submitting to begin with but, okay, I was picking up on what they were putting down.

It’s not just that being screwed feels good; for these submissive men, it felt better than just feeling good and having one’s prostate being stimulated; it would, as I say, let their inner girl out to play and revel in being used for another man’s pleasure and, boy, do they ever get to feeling some kind of way if a guy screws them and doesn’t cum… and a sentiment that even I know about. I was talking to my protégé about this one day and he was having a bit of a hard time understanding why the bottoms he was having sex with were behaving the way they were and, upon hearing about how they were behaving, well, they were being their normal submissive selves. He had a “problem” with cumming inside them and couldn’t understand why some of them would literally have a hissy fit… and I found myself trying to explain it to him. Those submissive guys he was happily screwing lived to have cum inside of them and felt that their submission was… incomplete any time he pulled out of them. I had asked him if he had ever noticed how some women react when he unloaded in them and compared to when he pulled out – and he really had to stop and think about that for quite some time before he admitted that he noticed that, yeah, there’s a difference.

“Guys are like that, too,” I had said. “It seems that the more submissive they are, the more important it is to them that you unload into them; otherwise, you pretty much nullified their submission and have now left them feeling unfulfilled and, as you mentioned, making them think that they weren’t pleasing you at all.”

And, it seems, for the guys who live to have their hole “used and abuse,” their submission in this means everything. I tend to roll my eyes when such men refer to their asshole as a pussy; I’m just too literal-minded – males who are born male don’t have pussies and I’ve seen enough pussies to know the difference… but I get it. This is the submissive girl inside of them coming out and partying to the max. Suck dick? Fine… but only as a prelude to getting that dick inside of them and some admit to only giving a “token amount of head” because they’re still men and they know all too well what won’t happen if they suck the guy and he loses his load… and they’re not going to be happy about that.

Much like my childhood friend would be. I didn’t really understand it then and I don’t really pretend to understand it now other than at an intellectual level. I understand what it means to them to be submissive in this aspect and nothing else matter to them than to have a man inside of them and doing whatever and, as one very professed submissive bottom said, “Fill me up to overflowing – then do it again.” There are guys who don’t mind being screwed; there are guys who like it – having your prostate stimulated in this way can be pretty mind-blowing – and then there are the submissive guys who just take being fucked to a whole different level and meaning and for a few of them, the more guys filling them up, the better and more submissive they feel. For some, their submission gets enhanced when things go into the BDSM aspects; tie them up, spank them, and other such things and that’s their idea of being in heaven.

Many of these guys dream of being gangbanged; just line up as many men as possible so they can submit to being cum dumps (to put it that way) and many of them are quite proud of the number of men they’ve been able to submit to in this fashion. Um, ah, I know what that’s like and admit that it was fun… but not something I’d ever do again but that’s me and I’m not submissive like these guys are. I’ll even admit that there are and have been times when I want to be screwed but if not, okay – don’t sweat the small stuff but for my submissive brethren, it is everything to them to be able to freely and willingly give up their ass and submit to whatever the guy wants and needs to do. It’s not just the physical pleasure but most definitely is about the emotional pleasure and that sense that when it comes to being with men, this is their mission in life. Not to just consent to sex but to fully submit to it and in any way you care to define the word.

And this aspect of the dynamic is changing to make being submissive not only a thing to do but a way to be and like being a submissive cock sucker, oh, I find this to be so very damned interesting because it was something that I used to see only in certain gay men back in the day… and none of these very submissive guys are gay. Guys like myself and my protégé can grudgingly admit to being screwed and feeling girly… but these submissive men “are girly” and in ways one normally doesn’t see in women, to speak generally (and put the knives away, ladies). Guys like myself and my protégé submit to being screwed but it pales in comparison to why and how these other men submit to it and, again, them being of a mind that this is their sole purpose in life while most of us, eh, we can take it or leave it.

It all makes me wonder about the direction male bisexuality is taking and, again, how some lines are being blurred between being bi and gay and leaning more toward the effeminate and, as such, having a great preference for dominant men who will just take full charge of them and use them as they see fit. There was a moment within the dynamic where if you were “acting like a girl,” don’t even bother to talk to some guys; they preferred to fuck guys who behaved just as manly as they perceived themselves to be but even in this, no matter how manly the guy being fucked was, he was expected and required to submit to the fucking without hesitation or reservation and, nope – he won’t be getting any of his ass. These… macho tops, I thought, really wanted someone more into submission and the guys who truly fit that description, well, let’s politely say that when someone was laying the pipe to them good and hard, being “manly” about it wasn’t what they were doing or even cared about.

You can often see it in “gay” porn where guys being fucked are being manhandled and loving every minute of it. I see it and it raises my hackles and gets me to thinking what I’d do to a guy who put me in a choke hold while banging my hole like tomorrow would never come… but there are very submissive men who live to be fucked this way and with varying degrees of being “dominated” either lightly or in ways that makes me cringe – and I’ve seen some stuff in my time. I understand my own biases in this but this isn’t about what I’d do or not – it’s about understanding why these men are the way they are and I’m getting there.

It’s physical, emotional and key to their perception of themselves. Again, when they’re not with men, they’re, well, men and in every way that can mean including their lust for women but to be able to submit and give themselves over to men? Priceless. Nothing’s better than having a hard dick plowing their south forty and seed being sown. Such guys talk about being bred, a notion that makes my eyes roll because literal-minded me says that only women can be bred since, um, they’re the only ones who can be impregnated… but these guys don’t think or feel this way because this is who they are when it comes to having sex with men.

I would suppose that when some folks think about bisexual men, they might tend to think that we’re all the same and we are not and just like everything else regarding male bisexuals, the devil lives in the details and it’s not about what; it’s about why and it’s not so much complicated as it is complex since their submissive nature is right at the core of who they are. Not of a mind to stick it in them? Eh, you’re useless. Of a mind to pull out of them? What the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, they can be just as submissive when sucking dick but their true submissiveness doesn’t come out until you get the dick in them and screw them silly… and don’t forget to cum in them because it completes them; it “closes the circle” and brings deep meaning to them and I can understand some of that because I don’t and never feel complete in that sense if a guy doesn’t – or refuses – to cum in me. I get… pissy about it but not like the submissive men I know of.

I was with a guy like this and we’d been going at it hot and heavy and I got overstimulated big time. I’m in him and doing my best to cum and it wasn’t happening… so I withdrew… and caught nine kinds of hell for it. I was, what’s the word, stupefied that this guy was reading me the riot act and had me thinking that he was going to take a swing at me… but then, as he ranted and raved and called me all kinds of unkind names, I thought back to my childhood and very effeminate and submissive gay friend and how he behaved when he got fucked and the other guy didn’t cum. This guy was damned near in tears because he felt that because I didn’t cum, I was totally displeased with him and that made him unhappy about himself and kept asking me what he did wrong. I told him that with the way we’d been going at each other before I got into him, I’d gotten overstimulated and while I don’t know about other guys, I know that when I’m in this state, if I had to cum to save my life, I would be quite dead – it just wasn’t going to happen. I felt bad enough about that to begin with and it wasn’t until after he calmed down that I really understood how much that meant to him and his submissiveness – and yes, I knew he was because he told me that but I’d say it was my “fault” that I didn’t, at the time, understand it and how much it really meant to who he was as a person.

While situations like that were… an exception and not including the effeminate gay and submissive guys I’d encountered, it’s becoming more prevalent these days as more and more men are very much getting in touch with themselves and, apparently, a lot more than being bisexual can do. It’s sex (and highly prohibited) but for many men, it is much, much more than just sliding your dick into them and happily busting a nut and just like everything else in the ever-changing dynamic, I find this utterly fascinating to bear witness to. I know I couldn’t be that way but, again, this isn’t about me but all about them and why they are the way they are and more so when, in their normal day-to-day lives, they’re doing “man things” and just like we’re supposed to be doing…

Until the opportunity comes to get some dick… and the change some guys undergo can be startling As I said yesterday, when we consent to have sex with another guy, we are submitting to whatever we agreed to do, whether it’s sucking dick or fucking but submissive bisexual men takes this to a very different level and sets themselves aside from “regular” bi guys like myself and a great many other men. I’d say that to us, it’s sex but to them? Way much more than that and now a thing that I don’t think can be only associated with effeminate gay men any longer and, as such, some lines are again being blurred that were once quite defined and roles delineated.

Fascinating to be learning about all of this and being able to see the way things used to be from my perspective and seeing how the dynamic has evolved. Once upon a time, being screwed in the ass was a “sissy” thing and very damned unmanly and if you really liked it, well, what the hell is wrong with you and are you really gay? Not any more.

Not any more.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The OTHER Anticipation

Heart pounding like a jackhammer; that weird sense of anticipation and trepidation that comes when your in a position and you’re just moments away from some other guy getting ready to push his cock into your ass and knowing that it’s going to feel good and not so much.

You look forward to it; you want it and not just because it’s something he wants to do but you know that it’s what really closes the circle when it comes to having sex with other men. Before he even gets around to pressing his knob against my well-lubricated hole, goodness; so many thoughts and feelings are running around inside of me. It’s not like I’ve never been here before and that this part of things is all that unknown to me since, and I’ll say a bit embarrassing, I’ve probably been fucked more than most women I know.

Not because I had “no choice” in the matter but because I wanted to; because it makes me feel a certain kind of way that conflicts greatly with what I’ve been told about what males should and should not ever do with each other… and then learning a different truth about this as well as understanding that our “job” as men – the thing we’re biologically hard-wired to do – is to fuck, to slide our dicks in and work them until we cum and, hopefully, the person we’re fucking will enjoy it, too. But it’s so very different when it’s you about to be fucked… and I know this. It excites me as much as it bothers me, not because I know that it’s going to hurt going in – you just train mind and body to get used to it and to even embrace the pain and discomfort of entry.

No… what “bothers” and excites me is how it’s going to make me feel, from feeling unnaturally dirty and filthy since, you know, he’s about to fuck me in my ass to getting a very good understanding of what it feels like to be a girl and there’s no telling how I’m going to be feeling once I feel his knob begin to press into me but I know that I’m going to like it… and not so much and knowing this makes the anticipation even worse… or better?

Even when I hear him ask, “Are you ready?” and I say that I am, I’m sure that I am… and sure that I’m not, too. Ideally, this shouldn’t be a problem because, again, it’s not the first time nor will it be the last time (unless I deem it so) but I also know it’s that voice in my head that likes to loudly remind me of how wrong this is and even more wrong that when, prior to assuming the position, I was sucking his cock and as if my very life depended on it… and maybe it really did but I don’t have time to ponder this because here comes the pressure…

Mind and body automatically relaxes, ready to embrace the discomfort and there’s a sense of helplessness in knowing that he’s now in control of how things are going to take place and I’m at his mercy and his own ideas about how to best get all of his cock into me; fast or slow does make a difference and while I know I can always say something about this, there’s something… exciting about remaining silent and as to see if he’s really as good at this as he said he was… and that I hope he is. I can feel those muscles whose job it is to keep things in protesting about being made to allow something in… and in the back of my mind, I actually “hear” myself laughing because it’s true that if something big can come out of there, something big – and even bigger – can go in there. I am so relaxed that if I relax any more, I might nod off for a moment and given how much effort I put into to giving his dick a very good sucking.

God… it hurts and hurts so good now that he’s in me; it’s scary good anticipation because I do not know what he’s going to do now that he’s in me and as far as he can manage; will he fuck me slowly and with tenderness… or is he going pause for just a moment before fucking me with short, hard, and fast strokes that will jar my body and shake my organs around in ways they don’t like being shaken? I can, if I wanted to, say something to him about that… but I also know that I can’t trust myself to say what I mean; how many times have I thought to tell him to go slow and easy… but what comes out of my mouth is something entirely different? Fuck me… make me feel you inside of me and fill me with your maleness and manhood.

I feel so… feminine that the man inside of me – and the man I know myself to be and without question – who should be very used to this, is having a fit along with that damned voice in my head that keeps asking me what am I doing and why am I not only allowing him to fuck me like a girl but I have the damned nerve to be liking it? Ah… he feels so good inside of me and while it doesn’t hurt a whole lot now, it still hurts so good; I can feel his cock against my prostate and no matter how many times I’ve felt this, it feels so weird feeling his cock knob giving it a good beat-down and making me feel things I still haven’t learned to put into words.

My own dick, which was very hard before he mounted me and inserted himself into my body, is not only soft but… diminished and so much smaller than what’s normal for me to be flaccid. Even as he continues to fuck into me, grunting and groaning and telling me how good my ass feels around his hardness, there’s always that one part of my mind that’s detached and not paying attention to the fact that I’m being fucked in the ass… and wondering how some guys can get fucked and their dick is as hard as steel the whole time. Then again, that might be because I’m laying on it and in my favorite and most preferred way to be fucked: On my stomach and with him lying atop me, thrusting over and over into me as I bear up – and enjoy – being fucked and having his weight pressing down on me. Ah… that just feels so good… and I’ve never understood why it does.

I love being fucked and as much as I don’t like it; I’ve learned that I really don’t like being fucked for a long period of time – and, again, something I know that women aren’t as fond of as us guys like to believe. I can feel the lube beginning to break down and become less viscous; I can feel the heat and friction of his cock inside me and it’s now becoming the kind of uncomfortable that I just don’t enjoy and never did. His thrusts into me are still jarring my body and I am oddly very much aware of how wide his prick has stretched my hole open to accommodate him and it all feels good and not all that much but I know that this is just what must be endured – and enjoyed – so that he will get to the moment I’m almost ashamed to admit that I enjoy the most:

When he cums inside of me; to be inseminated and exactly as I’ve inseminated so many men and women. I know what it means, what it implies and I always – always – remember that one time when a guy fucking me cried out that he was gonna cum and my idiot mind say, “He’s trying to get you pregnant!” Impossible, of course, but yeah – that’s the whole “thing” about unloading one’s seed into someone else in this manner. Even in my somewhat dream-like state, I know he’s getting close and mostly because he’s doing everything he can think of not to cum and this time isn’t any different from any other time I’ve been fucked; I’m getting… miffed because I want him to cum inside me and he’s back there fucking around and as to not just go ahead and do what the fuck I need him to do; otherwise, all of this has been for nothing, hasn’t it? But I know what to do and I do it; I tell him, “Stop playing around and bust that nut in me! Cum in me! Do it! Give it to me! I need it… and I need it now!”

Yeah, it’s a trick that I actually learned from women who’ve told me how to get a guy to cum when he’s taking his own sweet time about it… and they’re not feeling that. Indeed, there have been so many times when I’ve been impaled by a dick and I’ve hated him being in me so much that I’ve actually be silently praying for him to hurry up and cum so he can get the hell out of me. Yes… I could have demanded it and in the moment it stopped being fun and pleasurable and, yes… I have made guys get out of me when they’ve refused to immediately cease, desist, and withdraw immediately but I really do understand why some women won’t and don’t to this and why it makes sense to just let him finish. But this isn’t one of those awful moments; his cock has felt nice inside of me and my prostate has been nicely stimulated and all that… but now it’s time for the gravy on top of the whole thing.

I feel his cock swelling inside me, stretching my hole out even more and like that tends to do, it hurts really good; I hear him cuss; I feel him ram his cock into me as far as he can get it… and I can feel it pumping away inside of me and as always, it’s both an ugly and dirty feeling that also feels so goddamned good. I feel so… bitch-like and girly; it used to bother me a lot but I learned that if I embrace these feelings instead of fighting them, being fucked feels so much better, has much more meaning other than that which is obvious. There’s a kind of joy and even a sense of relief as his contractions in my ass begin to weaken and diminish; I can feel him starting to soften as he continues to fuck into me, milking the last dregs of cum. I can feel the feverish heat emanating off of him in waves as well as his sweat that’s been raining down onto me the whole time.

He’s beginning to withdraw and there’s a part of me that still wants him to stay inside me… but get the fuck out of me and it’s such an absurd thought that I’ve sometimes caught myself laughing at myself to be of such a confusing mind. I know his sperm is inside me and sometimes I can feel it there and depending on how much he’s unloaded into me, it’s already starting to ooze out and my hole is both pleasantly and unpleasantly sore and tender. And here’s the funny part: I’m glad that he’s finished and not all that happy that he is; I want him back in me because the part I really found that I don’t like is the emptiness he’s left me feeling; what an odd feeling that is and one that no one who has never been fucked could possible understand.

He’s telling me how good it was for him and, predictably, asking me if it was good for me and I say that it was and, often, let it go at that because I also know and have learned that there are some guys who really don’t want to know what I thought about being fucked by them or the truth that the only thing I really liked about it was the moment he shot his load into me. I’ve even had guys ask me if I came while they were fucking me and while I know and can tell him that having him inside of me gave me quite a few orgasms, that’s not what he’s asking; he wants to know if he fucked me so good that his cock in my ass made me bust a nut of my own.

And sometimes it has… but not as a matter of course and not this time; I can count on one hand the number of times a guy has fucked me so good that I’ve ejaculated and without my dick being hard. Nah… he doesn’t need to know this because I know how fragile the male ego really is – sometimes it really is better not to ask questions you really don’t want to hear the answers to. I used to feel bad about lying to a guy and telling him how good he was at fucking me… when the reality was that I had some regrets over the whole thing, well, until he did the one thing I like men doing – cumming in me, feeling his cock pulsing and pumping away in there… and knowing exactly what it all really means.

I don’t feel all that bad if his fucking left me feeling less than satisfied but I tell him that he did a good job anyway… and I do very much understand why women do the exact same thing. As we recover and decide on what, if anything, is going to happen next – there’s always this… argument going on inside my head: If being fucked can be so “iffy” and other such things, why do I want to be fucked and let certain guys fuck me? Um, because it feels good to be fucked and in ways that none of what I’ve written here today really does any justice to how it makes me feel.

Good. Sometimes not so much and more so if the guy was hammering me like he was trying to insert his whole body into mine. I feel… dirty and in a way that there’s no amount of soap and water that will ever make me feel clean again… and that’s not necessarily a bad thing every time and, yeah, not this time. I feel… like myself because part of who I am has an inner girl who not only loves to suck cock but also loves to be fucked. It exposes me, challenges my perception of being male, it make me feel… whole and complete and in a way not many can really understand. We’re looking at each other and I can hazard a guess as to how he might be feeling and it’s probably as good and as bad as I’m feeling. And the good and bad part?

My dick is back to being very hard and he sees that I am… and he knows that it’s going to be his turn to be fucked and to feel the anticipation and, yes, even some concern since he’s already spilled his load and I know his body is telling him that having more sex? Don’t even think about it! I know what he’s thinking; he really doesn’t want to be fucked but he wants to be and he even agreed, way back before any of this got started, that he wants to be fucked and have me bust a nut inside of him. He’s now feeling the same excitement and trepidation that I felt; I can feel it in his body as I slip my lubricated fingers into his tight hole and I’ve learned not to laugh – aloud – when thinking that his hole isn’t going to keep being this tight for very long. I can hear how he’s breathing and why he’s breathing the way he is, not just to relax and in anticipation of me invading his body but because he’s already spilled his seed, he’s really not feeling this so much… and I know this; I understand it; and it matters to me… and doesn’t as I position my lubed-up prick at the entrance of his forbidden place, and push…

The real truth, as I sink my dick into his body, is that I really kinda/sorta don’t want to fuck him but, at the same time, oh, yeah – I most certainly do and I’ve wondered why I tend to feel this way and it’s probably because I empathically know what he’s feeling as inch after inch of my hardness slides into him; I can feel his body trying to get me out of there even as it’s allowing me inside of him – and I know all too well what that feels like since my body just recently did the same thing to him. I can even feel his sperm still oozing out of me as I begin to fuck him; even though I still kinda don’t like this, it’s a silly thought because fucking feels so good; the slick tightness of his ass, the combined heat of our bodies and know that he’s feeling similar things that I felt when I was impaled upon his cock and making contact with his prostate. I know what he knows; I’m still oddly feeling what he’s feeling now and I know he’s waiting for that moment when he feels my cock swelling inside of him before it starts to pump my seed into him.

Dirty. Nasty. Generally accepted as forbidden and no matter if the person being fucked in the ass is male or female… but that’s also the fun of it all, to do the forbidden things that “decent” people are too afraid to experience. Ah… it feels so good to cum in him; it feels good to know that he’s feeling what I felt not that long ago when it was his dick making that nice, spermy delivery. I can feel the refracting setting in as I slowly withdraw from him – and the site of my cock in his ass did go a long way to making my release an even better one and, yes, my seed is starting to ooze out and I know he’s going to like that as much as I did… and not like it as much as I didn’t because that empty feeling is a bitch to deal with.

I don’t know about him but there’s never been a time that I’ve been fucked and I’ve not said, “I’m not gonna do this again.” I’ve said it; I’ve sworn to never be fucked and inseminated again; and I know it’s a lie I keep telling myself because there will be another time when I will want and need to be fucked and I’ll want and need this even when the next guy and I agree that there will be no fucking. I don’t know about him or any other guy in this… but I know myself. I know that I can happily be sucking on his cock or he’s sucking on mine and the next sound I hear is my own voice saying, “Fuck me… stick it in me and fuck me; I want you to cum inside of me…”

And the other anticipation – the anticipation of knowing that I’m about to get fucked – is so good and delicious and greatly satisfied as I feel his knob press against my hole… and slips inside to once again spread me open and it hurts so good and in a way that only feeling him cumming inside of me will make the pain go away and make all of this worth going through…

The thing I always take away from this… other than having a load of sperm inside of me? It’s an understanding of what women think and feel like when I want to fuck them and when I do; I know what it feels like to submit to something that, sometimes, you really don’t want to do but it’s gonna happen anyway because, well, it’s supposed to. I know, like they know, what feels so stupidly good about it… and what feels so terribly awful about being fucked and that, yeah – men are just not all that good at fucking as they think they are and that they tend to talk shit that they can’t back up with their body. I even know that men can cum too fast and sometimes before they can get the head into me – and it’s so annoying that I had to learn not to get pissed off about it and, given what I know about fragile male egos, learned to not make a fuss about it and more so since it’s not like I’ve not had that happen to me before – it just is what it is. But if he does manage to get the head in and then cums right then and there, well, hmm – didn’t he do what I wanted him to do? Yeah, he did and sometimes – and thankfully – it didn’t take him forever and one dark day to do it which is fine and dandy with me and, yep – I know what women know about this, too.

We’re done fucking each other and now it’s time to get cleaned up, get dressed, and go on about the rest of our day. My ass is sore but in a good/not good way that again makes me lie to myself and say, “We won’t be doing this again anytime soon…” while already thinking about what the next time is going to be like and beginning with the anticipation of feeling yet another cock knob pressing against my hole and being impaled upon his length and girth and being fucked by him for as long as it’s going to take to experience the best part of this nasty, dirty, invasion:

When he cums inside of me.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Some Thoughts About Anal

Here comes a “duh” moment: Guys like to fuck. There are guys who like to fuck other guys. The “bad” news is that other than a guy’s mouth, he’s only got one orifice to take care of that need and desire to fuck.

Another “duh” moment: There are guys who like to get fucked and the bigger the dick that fucks them, the better. On the other hand, there are a lot of guys who think about fucking or being fucked and while it sounds good on paper, well, hmm.

Yet another “duh” moment and a bit of a misconception: When two guys get naked, someone is getting fucked… which isn’t all that true because a lot of guys don’t have a sense of humor about their backside being touched and even if the person touching their ass has MD after their name.

A back in the day moment for ya: I remember my first full day in USAF basic training at Lackland AFB in San Antonio, Texas, and, specifically, that moment when we were ordered to line up outside the squadron complex’s barber shop to get shorn like the sheep we were. Our drill instructor was yelling and barking at us to hurry up and form a line – then, I guess, he wasn’t happy with our idea of getting in line because he started yelling at us to tighten up the line and added, “Make the guy in front of you smile!”

“What the fuck is he talking about?” I wondered to myself as I scooted forward until my front touched the backside of the guy in front of me… and when the guy behind me did the same thing, I’ll be damned if I didn’t smile! The guy in front of me looked back at me and, how about that – he was smiling, too!

The guy behind me muttered, “Damn… this is making my dick hard…” and, yup, he was smiling as well.

Guys on forums talk about this a lot and I estimate that it’s the number two thing guys talk about and it’s a very close second to sucking dick (and close enough to make ya smile). Some guys are all for anal sex/play, some avoid it like the plague because as everyone knows, um, it can really hurt going in and other than a bad toothache, for some, they’d rather have the toothache than to experience that brief moment of having their anal sphincters tested for elasticity.

One would think that given how… uncomfortable it can be, guys wouldn’t be so eager to get into it but, again, when a guy wants to fuck another guy – and that guy very much wants to be fucked, well, you get the picture. Those of you who might be shaking your head at this point might also be wondering how it could possibly feel good to either guy – and more so if you’ve never been, ah, anally invaded – but rest assured that once it goes in and ya got a moment or so to adjust to the intrusion, it actually doesn’t feel all that bad.

For the guy doing the fucking, it’s not unheard of that we love putting our dicks in tight places and, um, I’d waffle a bit and say that there’s no tighter place on one’s body given the job assigned to the two sets of anal sphincter muscles which, of course, were designed to keep… stuff in while keeping other things out. Now, this next thing might sound both strange and maybe even familiar and I can sum it up in two words: Anal retentive and, nope, not talking about attitude but without getting too gross about it, there are some people who delay going for as long as they can manage because it kinda/sorta feels good to hold it.

If you’re the guy getting boned you most certainly get to find out what women like and don’t like about it but just like everything else, the devil is in the details and there are a lot of “in between” things that makes getting dicked so pleasant, from having a hard dick inside you to feeling the other guy’s weight on you and depending on the position. I’ll even admit that I’ve had a guy on top of me wailing away and I’ve been so relaxed I’ve felt myself drifting off to take a nap… unless he’s going at it so vigorously that there’s a couple of things on my mind like, for one, why did I think this was a good idea and, for the other, I’ll be glad when he gets done.

Cityman asked me what was the best part of getting boned for me and I said that for me, the best moment is when I can feel his dick pumping away inside of me. He had asked if feeling “girly” was a good part and, admittedly, if anything is gonna make a guy feel girly, being screwed will most certainly handle that but while a lot of guys don’t like feeling that way, it does take a bit of mental rearrangement to get used to that rather unmanly feeling. He did ask if I liked the “going in” part and while I had learned not to pay a lot of attention to that – paying attention to it going in can make your whole body tense up and that’s not a good thing but, I also thought that I don’t think I know of anyone who likes that particular part of it.

What goes through a guy’s mind when he’s being boned? Depends on the guy. When I was all into it, I could tell you what was going on in my mind – a lot of stuff but one of the tricks to getting used to being screwed in the butt is to “look” for the pleasure in it and that usually calls for not really thinking in that sense but embracing what you’re feeling – it’s not easy to put into words and, honestly, a lot of whatever might be going on in someone’s head also depends on how the other guy is handling his part of things; some guys are gonna do their best not to make it anymore uncomfortable than it’s been to that point while others are of a mind to not only make you think about how uncomfortable it felt going it but to keep that very irritating feeling going for as long as he can manage it.

And some guys just live for it to be as uncomfortable as humanly possible and if the guy who’s boning them isn’t putting all the effort and force into the fucking, well, he could be deemed to be not very good at it.

Did you know that the word “fuck” comes from the German word “fuch,” which means “to strike?” I didn’t know it either until I had stumbled across it years ago – who knew? Sounds kinda violent, doesn’t it but when put into the sexual context, it really does fit, doesn’t it?

There is an expectation or even assumption that if you’re a guy who’s into guys, putting dick into ass – and getting dick in your ass – is a given and some guys are “terrified” to think that they’re gonna be called on to do either thing. If you’re thinking that the guy doing the fucking has the easy part, well, he really doesn’t and – get this – some guys couldn’t do it even if they wanted to because the moment they try to poke someone in the butt, they go from painfully erect to softer than normal… but the moment they stop trying, they’re back to being painfully erect. Why?

It’s their mind fucking with them and a conditioned aversion to not be messing around anywhere near that hole except for the one reason why it has to be messed with and, preferably, with lots of toilet paper involved or whatever they use to wash that area.

Some guys “default” to being a bottom and even refuse to attempt being the one putting the dick in, not just because of that conditioned aversion but something a bit more embarrassing – premature ejaculation. To understand this, it helps to understand how a dick works – friction is the enemy and so is pressure; some guys – and regardless to the degree of lubrication – make that initial push to get past the sphincter muscles and the pressure and friction of entry pulls the trigger on them because even the most well-fucked ass will present a measure of resistance even with the slickest lube humans can make. So, yeah – a guy who’s had this happen – or a guy who is pretty sure that’s what will happen – would prefer not to have this happen because even though it’s really just one of those things, it’s still pretty damned embarrassing so that’s something they’d not have to deal with if they’re just taking the dick and not trying to give it.

And some guys do get very pissed off behind this; they’ve gotten their mind and body all ready for a good, long fucking, homey gets it in and, fuck, the next thing they feel is that mad crazy pumping. And before you ask, yeah – I used to get pissed off about that as well but I reasoned that it didn’t make sense to get bent out of shape over something the other guy really doesn’t have any control over and, besides, um, he did just do what I wanted him to do, didn’t he? I’ve had guys profusely apologizing and I’ve honestly told them that it’s no big deal… because it isn’t that big of a deal. It happens and while I do understand how embarrassing it is, it serves no useful purpose to dwell on it.

One guy I was talking to back then and we were “comparing notes” on this aspect said that he always gets pissed off behind an early release and, sure, I could understand why but I had said to him, “Look at it this way, if you can – your ass was so good to him that he had no choice but to cut loose and cream you!”

He blinked… and said, “So, what you’re saying is that if he takes a long time to cum, my ass might not be that good to him?”

“If it helps to think that way, sure,” I said with a shrug. “That’s one way to look at it but it’s better than getting all bent out of shape over something he doesn’t really have any control over, isn’t it?”

Women complain about it, too… but it’s also true that some women don’t see a point in complaining about it and especially the woman who is really happy that she doesn’t have to get “pretzelized” for a long period of time or, as one woman said to me once, “Who wants some two hundred pound guy pounding them like he’s got all year to bust that nut?” Makes sense given that friction is an issue for women, too, and there’s such an animal as too much friction and that’s something that doesn’t feel all that good.

While guys learn a lot about anal sex and from both sides of the equation, the biggest and, to me, most important lesson one can take away from this is finding out exactly what men put women through when we fuck them, both the good and bad of it. Guys love to ask women what it feels like to have a dick in them and while a woman can tell you whether or not it’s good or not so good, if a guy really wants to find out – and some really don’t – give up your ass to a guy and I guarantee that you’ll find out what women love and hate about it.

It often cracks me up to read guys who’ve never been fucked go on and on about wanting to be fucked and with big dicks… and I’ve said to myself, “That’s because you have no idea what that feels like… but you’ll find out.” Some guys, as previously mentioned, have their own toys they use to train their ass and mess around with their prostate which is good… but not even close to having the real thing inside them and having some seriously horny dude driving the bus. Indeed, some guys would prefer to be pegged by a woman than have to deal with everything that plays into have a real dick inside them.

Or, be careful what you wish for.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: What’s the Big Deal?

Forbidden. Off limits. Should have come with a “Do Not Enter” sign. Considered to be the dirtiest place on the human body. Will eventually be a focus of a doctor’s attention at some point in a man’s life and a place that can, in a few scant seconds, turn a ultra-macho dude into a bit of a punk when it’s time for him to get his prostate checked.

Yeah, you know the place I’m talking about and I’m thinking that if you picked up on all the clues, you’re either thinking, “Yeah!” or you’re looking for somewhere to hide. But for bi guys, it’s one of the two things that are mainly in play because I don’t know of too many guys who have, at the very least, wonder what it feels like to be fucked.

Likewise, I don’t know of too many guys who haven’t asked a woman what it feels like, only to be told, “It feels good…” which isn’t all that helpful but as with a lot of things about sex, how it really feels is couched in things that don’t have any words in any language known to mankind. And there are guys who wanna know what it feels like… but aren’t willing to endure that infamous painful entry everyone knows about… and even if they’ve never had their back door messed with.

Tops. Their role is to bring the noise to a bottom and fulfill their giver/receiver “duty” in receiving a good blow job before giving the guy who blew them a butt-hole full of very hard dick and followed by an insemination, either directly or into a condom.

Bottoms. I’d have to say that most are more than willing to place themselves into the female/submissive role of sex and be the one to do all of the cock sucking and in preparation of being fucked by an aforementioned top and for them, there’s nothing that comes close to comparing to the feeling of being penetrated and fucked, enjoying not only the, ah, very full feeling one can experience having a dick in their ass but also the really weird kind of good/bad feeling of having their prostate stimulated.

Versatiles. They get a mention because their very nature implies that it doesn’t matter to them if they top, bottom, or flip-flop in a single session.

Here’s the funny part. Many people assume – and thanks to what they’ve heard about homosexual men – that when two guys get together, they’re both getting fucked which, of course, isn’t the whole truth because some guys are really funny about that and to the point where if you even tried to just rub his back door, the reaction from him may not be pleasant. Even funnier, there are guys who have – or want to – bone a woman in her forbidden zone… but the thought of sinking their bone in a guy’s zone really freaks them out.

Go figure.

For the forum mention (and it’s still off-line for now), guys go back and forth on this; some can’t wait to finally get the answer to what it feels like to be fucked while many more worry and fret over catching something horrifically nasty but, for some reason, not even thinking about the fact that if they covered their cocks, um, that’s not likely to happen unless the condom fails. And, yeah – a lot of questions are asked about how to take a dick in the ass and it not hurt or otherwise feel uncomfortable. Now, there are ways to accomplish this and the Internet would be more than happy to tell you about it if you were to Google it.

For the guys who get boned regularly, they talk about how it makes them feel and mostly along the lines of “girly” – but not in a bad way – and vulnerable; not only does it feel incredibly good to them but by being in the position to be fucked, it gives them a great deal of satisfaction to be able to please the guy who’s fucking them. Some guys are “anal sex snobs” in that they want the dick to be really long and thick so it can hurt real good and when homey unloads, they’d better not skimp on the spunk.

Some guys can talk about their favorite part of being fucked. Some really enjoy those first moments of penetration because of the sensations as well as that sense of being vulnerable while others enjoy the “mid-game,” those moments when the cock is being driven into them gently or as roughly as the cock’s owner can manage and the deeper, the better and, likewise, the more their prostate gets involved, that’s nirvana. Many guys report having the most amazing orgasms while being fucked and many have voiced their utter surprise to find themselves ejaculating while being fucked… and their dick isn’t even hard.

Then there are the guys who will “put up with” the moment of penetration and the actual fucking because they’re waiting for the one thing that’ll really make enduring all of this worthwhile: That moment when the guy fucking them loses it and starts to cum. The feel of those pre-ejaculation tremors as well as feeling more full of dick as the cock expands some more… then that pumping action. You’re not really aware of how much spunk is being injected but, depending on the guy, wow – feeling the dick trapped in your forbidden zone and crazily pumping away inside you just doesn’t have words that lend themselves to describing it…

Other than to say that it feels good. Some guys say that in this moment, they’ve never felt more girly, more vulnerable and even “dirty” but in a delightful way. They know like women know including the fact that this moment either signals the end of a wonderful session… or the end of one they’re glad is over and done with.

Cityman and I were talking about this and, as a top, he couldn’t quite put his finger on why they guys he was fucking loved being fucked and especially when he creamed them. After I kinda laughed to myself, I asked him if he’d ever paid any attention to how a woman reacts when he busts a nut in her and, oddly enough and like a lot of guys, he said that he hadn’t. Then I asked him if he ever noticed how a woman might behave if he’s fucking her but he somehow couldn’t bust in her and he said that he had noticed that, um, she wasn’t very happy about that.

I explained to him that for women, sure, there’s satisfaction in being boned but the thing that can produce the most heady of feelings is when she can feel the guy cutting loose inside her, which is either the cherry on top of it all or the moment when she’s very happy that he’s finished trying to pound her into the next zip code or otherwise believing that he fucked her really good.

It’s a concept that’s not really all that hard to imagine during a discussion and, if you can pay attention, you can see a woman’s reaction but, um, given what the guy is doing in that moment, it is kinda difficult to spare some attention to how she’s reacting… but you’d really have to be on the receiving end of a hard dick to really understand why this is a big deal for those men who like to be fucked. And yes – he did ask me what my favorite part was and I told him it was the moment he started shooting his load into me (or the condom) and, no, I really couldn’t explain to him what it felt like or what was going through my mind; could be that sensual and “nasty” good feeling, could be that, “I’m so fucking glad he’s done – why did I think this was a good idea?” thing that generation upon generation of women have had going through their minds as well.

Again, some guys are “snobs” in that the longer you pound their hole, the better and if you don’t bust a nut, well, what the fuck is wrong with ya? It’s not unheard of for a guy to be in the process of sliding the boner in and the receiver is really tight – not enough lube, not really all that relaxed for entry or being penetrated is a kinda rare thing – and the effort to insert A into C causes a, eh, premature release… which could really make the receiver very, very unhappy… but I’d guess that depends on what part or parts of being fucked flips all the right switches.

It happens. Another thing some guys are known to get miffed about is when a guy gets the dick in, does some fucking and then, at the moment of “truth,” pulls the dick out and shoots cum everywhere except where the receiver wanted it. Now, some guys will say that they do this because of the health issues which is understandable but, um, if you went in there raw – and even if the receiver did his due diligence and cleaned in there (and as best as it can be done), the moment you got in there, you were at risk.

Duh. To this end, bleh, I think a lot of guys watch too much porn and get all into the money shot and there are a lot of guys who’d rather have the cum on them than in them but even when I’ve seen this in any form of porn, I just don’t get how getting cum shot anywhere but inside you is all that… satisfying and, yeah, I’m enough of a snob myself that such a thing would really piss me off; if ya really wanna make me feel good about what you did, put the stuff in me and not on me because when you don’t, um, didn’t you just cut out the most important part of being screwed?

None of this makes much “real” sense to anyone who has never been fucked and guys who’ve never been boned in the butt only think they understand what the guy on the other end is experiencing and how it’s making him feel so, yeah, when a top says that he doesn’t understand why the guy beneath him – or on top of him – is enjoying this so much, well, the only way to find out – and if ya really wanna know – is to switch places with him… provided the guy you’re with is of a mind to do you like that in the first place… and he might not be if he’s a totally dedicated bottom.

More funny stuff. Some women hear about guys who are into getting boned and they are repulsed by it although some who are into anal, sure, they get it but just like cock sucking, many women wanna know why a guy wants and/or needs to get fucked in the ass… and without giving a single thought about why they like/love to be fucked, I mean, outside of the “fact” that they’re the all-time and mandatory single focus of getting dicked – period. And I’ll say it again: Those “early adopter” women who strongly suggested that we get in touch with our feminine side probably didn’t even think of how we’d go about doing that and that to really get a better handle of what women experience, there’s only one sure way to get that handle and that’s to be seduced, screwed, and inseminated…

And, well, men only have two orifices that’ll serve that purpose.

Now, there are guys who would prefer to use toys instead of the real thing and you can go to your favorite on-line “toy store” and find specially designed toys to stimulate one’s prostate; some guys swear by them and some kinda/sort like it but there’s something missing. Some guys prefer to have a lady strap one on and give them the business and, oddly, the “taint” of bisexuality bypasses them because the woman pegging the daylights out of him is… a woman and not a guy. It’s not that they don’t find being pegged satisfying but there’s still something missing and it’s the one thing that’s probably best provided by the real thing although, as I understand it, there are toys that can simulate male ejaculation…

…but still not quite the same thing. A lot of guys have quite the collection of toys to play with, not just for the sensations a good toy can provide but to also train their anal muscles for the day when the real thing gets slid into them and some have even discovered that the use of poppers similar to amyl nitrite – works wonders for them. What this chemical does is cause a relaxation of certain smooth muscles while providing a rather euphoric high so a guy prepping himself with a good snort of his popper of choice probably wouldn’t even notice the dick going in him so much due to the degree of relaxation of the anal sphincters or they’re too buzzed to notice it a whole lot. Is is safe to use? Eh, kinda/sorta but the real “dangers” is in how these things tend to cause a quick drop in one’s blood pressure and that might not be a good thing and some folks can find that they’re allergic to these specific forms of nitrites.

All that popper stuff aside, I’m not saying that guys like to fuck other guys or, specifically, like to be fucked by other guys “just” to comply with the “get in touch” edict that was issued so long ago. Guys like to fuck (duh) and there are guys who like to be fucked; not only does it feel very good to them in many ways, if nothing else, they become that much more aware of what men put women through and, to that end, it does make them more appreciative of women as well as causing them to be just as picky as women can be about who gets to give them the dick.

Not every bi guy can do it or wants to and, for many, it’s not even a “default” M2M behavior because prepping to get fucked can be a bit involved and doesn’t lend itself to spontaneous moments even though some guys routinely keep their hole cleaned like they wash their face every morning which, by the way, could be a good and a bad thing depending on what’s being used for the cleaning; some stuff for this purpose can kill certain and necessary things in the rectum that allows it to do the job it was intended to do (and before two dude figured out that it can also be fucked); kinda like how gynecologists changed up and suggested that women don’t douche a whole lot and on an as-needed basis rather than as a matter of course.

Many guys want to find out what the big deal is and, frankly, they’re just too afraid to and, personally, I can’t say that I blame them. For the guys who’ve personally asked me if I thought they should give up their ass to be fucked, I tell them that they don’t have to if they don’t want to and if they don’t think they can handle it, then by all means don’t do it but it creates a bit of a quandary because they’re not gonna know if they can handle it unless they do it and using a toy is a “poor” substitute for the real thing that being driven by its owner’s lust. They, like so many others, assume that when two guys get together, some fucking has to be done, that a guy is expected, required, and demanded to give up his hole to be fucked.

And the guys who do aren’t gonna just give it up to any dude who asks for it.

 

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Next, What to Do?

So you’ve gotten past your “Oh, shit!” moment and have realized that the only thing that’s really changed about yourself is your thoughts about sex and sexuality although, admittedly, there still may be some “issues” still running around between your ears.  Perhaps you’ve decided that there’s nothing you can – or want to – do about this but maybe this has been on your mind enough and you’ve been thinking about what you’d like to do about this, you know, if you could.

Another of those “way back in the day” moments.  When two guys decided they wanted to “do it to each other,” it was accepted that “it” was pretty much doing everything, from playing with each other’s dick, to sucking each other’s dick, to dicks going in each other’s butt or, at the very least, dicks going between butt cheeks… then repeat if necessary or possible.

I’d have to say that guys then didn’t have much in the way of preferences other than wanting to do it and it wasn’t like guys were in the habit of asking what one liked (or being asked); again, “doing it” was a package deal so if there was a question to be asked and answered, it was usually, “Where can we do this?”  “What” was the whole nine yards; “why” was kinda self-evident; “when” was usually right this moment (but dependent upon the answer to “where”).

Experiences and time would eventually start to shake things out into “I like this” and “I don’t like that” which also included that, “Put it in my butt – but don’t stick it in too far” and the “I’ll suck your dick – but don’t shoot in my mouth” things that would crop up from time to time.

No Internet and the only form of porn were paperback books so if one was clever enough to swipe their father’s stash (or their mom’s stash), the only visualization of the sexual acts you were reading was whatever your mind could conjure up; other than word of mouth, there wasn’t much in the way of helpful information other than knowing what guys liked to do it and what guys didn’t or were too afraid to give it a shot.

There was almost always – and usually – that one moment when one boy would look at another boy and ask, “Have you ever done it with another boy?”  If the answer was yes, the next question would usually be, “Do you wanna do it?” and if the answer was no, um, the same question would be asked – and the answer could still be no… but sometimes it could be, “I don’t know…”

One might not have had any specific preferences when it came to doing it outside of wanting to do it out of that combination of raging hormones and the thrill of doing something that we all knew we weren’t supposed to be doing.

Today, guys have the “advantage” of being able to determine and decide what things they’d want to do once they get past that “Oh, shit!” moment – and thanks to the wealth of information the Internet can make available as well as an understanding of what gay men do when they do it to each other –  and deciding that doing just might be a good idea… but what to do?

And a lot of guys ask this question, believe it or not; it’s one thing to know what two guys could do to, for, and with each other, something else to figure out which of those things will turn out to be just what the doctor ordered.  It’s one thing to know that guys suck each other’s dick, another to imagine one’s self doing it and the same goes for having anal sex and even jerking each other off.

Guys ask this question of me and I’ve answered their question with a question:  What would you want to do?  Some guys would ask this question and it’s a rhetorical one – they already know what they wanna do but the question is more of a… confirmation of sorts so a conversation about what can be done begins and at a basic level:  Mutual masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, all of the above, any combination of those things which could also include kissing and cuddling (or not).

Guys today are able to sort out their preferences before they ever do it for the first time; they’ve already decided that they’re going to be a top (the guy in the male-dominant sexual role) or a bottom (the guy in the female-submissive sexual role) and, yeah, sometimes, a guy will start out wanting to be in both roles and as he feels in the moment.

What gets… amusing is that some guys do, in fact, have an idea of what they want to experience… but will still ask what it’s like to do it, oh, like sucking dick, for example.  Now, you’d think this would be a no-brainer and more so for any guy who’d ever had his dick sucked by a woman and for some guys it is a no-brainer – just not for every guy.  Having your cock sucked is one thing… being the one doing the sucking a whole different thing and, of course, there’s the whole matter of what to do when the guy cums – swallow it, wear it, avoid it at all costs and by any means necessary.

Guys are well-versed about fucking coochie and you’d think that there wouldn’t be much of a disconnect about sticking their dick in a guy’s ass – and more so if they’d ever had anal sex with a women – but, again, there’s this perceived difference but the main thing about this is a sense of revulsion because, well, we know what that orifice’s main purpose is, don’t we?  On the receiving end of the high hard one, again, we see that knowing that guys get boned as being one thing… wholly different when you’re the one with the hankering to get boned because the other thing we know, even via word of mouth, is that, um, it can hurt going in.

True enough, some guys prepare themselves for this moment by using toys, from butt plugs to dildos to prostate stimulators and while this is all well and good, most guys find that while using toys can get them used to being penetrated, having the real thing in their butt is rather different; it’s one thing to do this to yourself, another when you’re not really in control of that moment and there’s a very horny guy on the other end of the dick that’s about to meet your acquaintance.

So we see that when it comes to deciding what to do, there are choices… but choices that aren’t always easy to make because along with all the things two guys can do, there’s also a laundry list of reasons why guys shouldn’t do any of them.  One major one is, “What if someone finds out I (add an M2M thing here)?”  Yes, there’s the whole “What if I catch something?” thing to consider but it’s nothing a case of condoms can’t take care of.

Guys find that it’s easy to sit back and think about all of this but to get to the point where one does those things they’ve been pondering just might provide some added “stress” to the list of things to stress about in this, up to and including wondering, even here in the 21st century, if doing whatever they’re thinking about is going to make them gay.

Yeah, guys back in the 1960s were worried about this, too, so that hasn’t changed a whole lot.  Sometimes I think that guys looking and/or waiting for their first experience tends to suffer from an informational overload – just too much information to process but it is important for a guy to process all of that information and to the best of their ability because one thing they may discover is that the best thing for them to do is…

Nothing.  Certainly, there are a lot of reasons for a guy not to give into the great urge to get out there and do something about what they’re thinking and feeling but it just doesn’t pay to dive in there without thinking things through and beginning with being able to imagine themselves all up into whatever they wanted to experience.

Which is a kind of lead-in to the next thing I’ll scribble about – and you’ll know it when you see it…